“I’ve never wanted to breathe for someone else so badly.”


Her words touched me deeply.
I don’t think I will ever forget them.


I’ve been sharing posts this week about little baby Amelia. These were the words her mama posted today. I have never physically met her and she may not know this, but she has been a tremendous blessing in my life.

When I first began my Facebook page, I stumbled across another~ Practical Living for the Christian Girl. I stepped out of my comfort zone and reached out to sweet Meghan, asking for help with my own page. Even though I felt like a complete idiot for not knowing simple things, she never made me feel that way. Instead, she loved on me and helped me and because of her selflessness, her time, and her love~ she has invested in the thousands that follow Holding Hope today.


She humbly allowed herself to be used of God.


And today her little girl is being used to bring thousands to the Throne of Grace.


My own heart has been pricked with conviction this week. How often we waste our thoughts and our words, even our time. We go about our every day moments and mundane activities and don’t even think about talking to God. Even when life may not necessarily “feel” good, it’s normal. We complain easily and forget to be thankful. Quite often we even forget to talk to our Savior throughout our days.


But then a tiny precious soul touches us all and as we do our “normal”, we cannot help but think of her and go to God for her. Suddenly our petty complaints about our normal lives seem selfish, because honestly~
they are.


Her sweet mama wrote~ “Where I cannot give her breath or a steady beating heart, He can.”


Amelia has given this gift to us all. A steady beating HEART unified in the prayers lifted on her behalf. She has breathed LIFE into the prayers of thousands, as she fights for her own.


This little one has done mighty things for God.


Let us not forget this. Realize how abundantly blessed you are. As the days turn into weeks and you go about your “normal”, continue to talk to God throughout your day. Use your words to speak to your Savior, and in turn allow Him to speak through you to others. Lift each other up in prayer, but also in purpose. Help those in need. Give of your time. Be selfless. Be loving.


Let your Amen always remind you of Amelia. A tiny soul who changed us all.






SCRIPTURE READING:
Philippians 4:6-7
Colossians 4:2
Matthew 18:20, 26:41
Psalm 5:3, 19:14, 42:8
I Thessalonians 5:16-18

My daughter gave me a precious gift this Christmas. A dainty bracelet with the inscription Proverbs 3:5-6. A daily reminder to me. One that I have thought about so often lately, and one that I shared with my girls on our last shopping trip together.


Back when I was in high school, our school put on a little production. I will never forget one of the production leaders teaching us a catchy tune to the verse Proverbs 3:5-6. That tune has stuck with me through the last 40 years, but the meaning of the verse has grown in its significance as each year passes.


Lately it has been my life line and I find myself wondering why I didn’t truly live it for the past 40 plus years. My words said I did, my head thought I did~
but my heart and soul did not.
I often leaned heavily on my own understanding, especially when life hit hard.


Oh, if I had only truly trusted His sovereignty through everything. Through all the tiny inconsequential mishaps that I allowed to ruin my days, to the heavy grief that seemed to engulf my every waking moment~


My emotions ran ragged.
Worry, stress, irritation and anger took over. Wishing things could be different took place too often, and at times fear overshadowed my days.
I never stopped to fully take in the fact that God was in complete control of every single thing. Nothing was a surprise to Him. Nothing.


If we could only grasp this fact as we head into a new year. Every morning waking up and praying this verse before our feet touch the ground~


“Lord I trust you. Help me not to ever lean on my own understanding, but to acknowledge you in every single thing today so that you will direct my paths.”


Paths that lead to reactions that glorify Him no matter what life throws at us, because we trust Him and know it’s for our good. This simple prayer has literally changed my life. There’s an incredible comfort each morning as I place each future moment in His hands, and fully surrender my trust to Him.


In the beginning God.
January 1, 2023.
A new beginning.


A beginning with complete trust in the God who has been here before there ever was a beginning. The God who gives us no ending. The God of grace and hope and love.


Trust in the Lord of new beginnings.
Trust Him with all your heart.




SCRIPTURE READING:
Proverbs 3:5-6
Proverbs 16:9
Matthew 6:10
James 4:15
Psalm 36:23-24
Genesis 1:1
John 1:1
Isaiah 46:9-10
Romans 8:28
Ephesians 1:11-12

Last week I wrote about missing my yesterdays…
Let me tell you about my today.


I ponder this day as I reflect on Christmases past. Christmas Eves full of excitement. Trying to get children to sleep so that presents would appear under the tree the next morning. Late nights and early mornings every year. Joyful laughter filling every corner of the house.
Of my home.


But tonight.


As parents around the world relate to this happy noise Christmas Eve brings, others are experiencing a silent night. The kids are grown and the house remains quiet.


I couldn’t help but ponder the moment Jesus was born as I thought on this.


God’s silent night.
The earth’s Holy night.


Jesus left His Father. Despite knowing the incredible sacrifice, sadness did not engulf His Father’s silent night, for the inexplicable love that God had for us took all sadness away. With joy unspeakable, His Son left the happiness of home and heaven. In the gift of Himself, He took away all silence and replaced it with a multitude of heavenly hosts praising God. He gave us glory and hope.
He gave us Himself.


Always with us.
Never alone again.


My kids might not be under my roof anymore. My home may be silent, but my heart can be full. Your heart can be full.


On this night, that excitement that was once a part of my home lives on. It lives in my children as they share hope with a world that can sometimes feel hopeless. As they sing praises to God on this Holy night. As they share the good news of God’s gift with strangers and friends, loved ones and children. It lives in my grandchildren as their parents try to get them to sleep and then a few short hours later, in the laughter coming down stairs of expectation and joy.


Tonight is not silent. Tonight is Holy.
God came down.
He came down to give us expectation and joy. Forgiveness and hope. From the star that led the way, to the cry of a newborn~every moment of this night leads us back to our Father. And oh that our hearts would pierce that silence with our songs of deliverance.


Glory to God in the highest and on earth, peace goodwill toward man!!


Scripture Reading:
Daniel 12:3
Luke 2
​

I miss yesterday.


There’s a strange emptiness inside me at Christmas. A hole that seems to get larger with each passing year~


It’s the memories of Christmases past and the ones who made this season so beautiful for me. A house full of children and magic. Parents and grandparents coming to visit. Cookies baked and Christmas carols playing.


Life has changed so much. It’s not the same. And I miss it. I know I shouldn’t long for the past, but at times I find myself pining for it. I know I should be rejoicing in Jesus, the entire meaning of Christmas, but sometimes I still find myself looking back to my yesterdays and wishing for them back…


I miss my kids being right upstairs. I miss my parents. I miss my In-laws living only a few hours away and their frequent visits to see us. I miss all the Christmas parties at aunt Mendi’s. I miss family. I miss Christmas dinner at Mom’s.


Maybe I’m the only one who feels this type of emptiness. Deep down, I’m a nostalgic sap.


Today I listened to my grandchildren all huddled around me, sharing in their excitement. “Only 10 days till Christmas grandma!!” And I yearn to make my daughters understand how beautiful these moments are in their lives. Right now. Moments with mom and dad right down the road, with excited little voices in every room. With cookies and carols and all the Christmas chaos. I want to tell them to soak it all in. Every last second. Even the exhaustion as their heads hit their pillows each night. Today. Right now. It will never be here again.


What marvelous, majestic gifts God gave me year after year each Christmas. Gifts I took for granted. Gifts I opened each Christmas season, smiled, said thank you to Jesus and then forgot about. Until now.


He is still giving me marvelous gifts, if I will just open my eyes to see them. They might not look the same but in my remembering the days of old, I am reminded that I am a part of the gifts He is giving my children and grandchildren. Gifts they will one day recall and cherish. I can choose to pine away for my yesterdays or I can make those gifts beautiful. The same way my parents, my in laws, my grandparents and aunts all did for me.


In this moment as I sit and listen to the quiet, God shows me that I am looking at Christmas all wrong. I wanted my yesterdays and all the joy they brought, until it dawned on me that my tomorrows are not promised. It’s not what I can get every day leading up to Christmas. It’s what I can give. What will my loved ones and friends remember?


What will your loved ones and friends remember? What will your children and grandchildren remember? Instead of focusing on the memories of your yesterdays, I want to encourage you to focus on the moments of your todays. Ask yourself~ “how can I make the lives of everyone around me better?”


Somehow my parents, my In-laws and my aunts all made magical memories for me. Memories I cherish. I’m sure they were missing their yesterdays now and then too, but they never showed it. They made my life better, sweeter. They taught me how to give of yourself to those you love.


I don’t know what next Christmas holds. Perhaps God will choose to take me home before I celebrate another season.


And so, today I will take my own advice. I will soak it all in. Every second. I will make magic for my children and grandchildren. I will fill that hole to the brim with the gift of giving. Not of things, but of memories. Beautiful, majestic Christmas memories. And one day I pray they will realize,


Those are the best gifts of all.

​Today I’m inviting you to my wedding. I’m sharing a video my son made for us 7 years ago for our 30th anniversary…

When you’re young and you fall in love, quite often you don’t think too far ahead. You’re living in the moment. Maybe you talk about children or future plans, but the farthest you get in your thought process is the dream of getting old together, sitting on a porch with a white picket fence and smiling at the wonderful life God allowed you. 

Lately, I have continually heard the question~ “How did you know he was the one?” It seems to be a recurring theme on sappy Christmas movies. I pondered that as I thought back. It occurred to me the other day that I actually had that vision of Mike and I when I first got married, the whole “growing old, white picket fence” thing.  I never saw that future with anyone else. 

A future where I couldn’t live without him. 

When I was 20, I never dreamed that someday my crazy, active young man (who could face any challenge and do any thing) would have three major joints replaced within 5 months time. His shoulder, right knee and next week, his left knee. 

When we’re young, we don’t like to think about the “what if’s” of our futures. What if my husband gets dementia? What if my husband gets cancer? What if he has heart problems or lung problems? 

What if he is no longer the strong man I lean on, when I really need to lean on him? 

My husband is my best friend. He’s the love of my life, but I’ll be honest~ there have been times I’ve lost my patience with him. I’ve lost the spark. I’ve misplaced my dreams, the very dreams that we actually got to live out together. 

I remember that childish girl who promised her forever to the man of those dreams. Our anniversary is this week and I remember my “for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” I meant every word as he held my hands in front of 500 people 37 years ago.

Truth be told~ I’m sure he didn’t think he signed up for a wife with all my issues either,  but he loves me despite me. 

This “outward” that we grow old with isn’t truly us, it’s just our physical bodies aging through the process of time. Our true self lies deep within. It is our souls. They never grow old. I fell in love with Mike’s soul 37 years ago.  

Today I want to encourage you to remember that soul you fell in love with. The soul God placed in your hands to love and cherish. Some days it’s a lot harder to do, but those are the days we need to remind ourselves that our husbands have hard days dealing with us as well. 

You hold his soul in the heart of your actions, your words, your respect, your passion, your touch, your empathy, your patience your tenderness~
and most importantly~
your love. 

Remember that young girl who couldn’t imagine a future without him. 

Whatever you face in the days ahead, whatever reality has squashed the dreams of that naive young bride you once were, don’t let go of that promise to love. No matter what. 

I wrote the words to that song we’re singing at our wedding. Mike came up with the tune. I cannot believe shy Charisse even attempted to sing it. That’s what love  does to you, makes you believe you can do anything. 

With all your heart, with all your soul~
Make each other believe again this Christmas. 

Scripture Reading:
I Corinthians 13:1-8, 16:14
I John 4:7-8
I Timothy 5:8
Romans 12:9-10
John 15:11-12
Hebrews 10:24

Have you ever prayed for your children, but deep down felt like it would take a literal miracle for it to be answered?
Sadly, I have…


I had a dear friend who used to remind me continually of who Jesus is. Not who Jesus was, but who He is~ the same yesterday, today and forever. The same Jesus who worked wondrous miracles throughout the Bible is the same Jesus working miracles in my life today.


My friend went home to heaven one week before my dad. He was such an encourager. From the day we met him until the day he went home to be with Jesus, he continually lifted my heart when it was down. His words were like presents and hugs wrapped into one. He was always jolly, and I think of him so often.


Today I recall such a day of encouragement. You see, a mother’s prayer has been answered and my friend encouraged me through the waiting.


If you have or had teenage children (or children in general), you will understand. Although it may seem trivial compared to the heartache some are facing today, it can still break a mama’s heart when her daughter’s fight continually and you don’t see any hope at the end of the tunnel. You have visions of them hating each other the rest of their lives. Every holiday get together from now until infinity will be riddled with strife or empty seats because they refuse to celebrate together.
Yes, it was that bad.


For a few years, I think I cried over my bible and coffee every morning after they left for school.


And then one day a miracle slipped in. It was so subtle and although they are completely different personalities, my girls became best friends. And I am in awe. I had almost given up on that prayer. A prayer I prayed for almost 20 years. And when I stood back and watched it unfold, I thought about the words of my friend as he told me stories of his own two girls. How he encouraged me continually, and how his smile lit up his face as he spoke of his daughter’s sweet friendship now.


Today, I am on a Christmas shopping trip with my own daughters. Not just the two I spoke of, but my youngest and my daughter in law as well. It has become a Christmas tradition. Our “girls” trip. We get a hotel. We shop, we eat, we drink lots of coffee, we shop some more, we laugh and maybe cry, we pray, we blast Christmas music…
and this mama rejoices.


My God is so good.


Today I want to encourage you to not give up on the heart of your mama prayers. Today I want to encourage you to be an encourager. Everyone needs a bit of jolly in their lives. You can give them that gift.


I’m so thankful for my friend and I’ll never forget his words to me. Today as I sit and listen to my girls laughter in the other room, I smile through the tears and I know my friend is smiling in heaven right along with me. With a twinkle in his eye I can hear him say~ I told you Charisse.
God can do anything.


Scripture Reading:
Hebrews 13:8
Hebrews 10:24-25
Romans 1:11-12, 8:26, 15:2, 5
I Thessalonians 5:11, 17
2 Corinthians 1:5
Galatians 6:2
Philippians 4:6
Luke 11:9
John 15:7
Mark 11:24
Jeremiah 33:3
Psalm 27:13-14, 28:7, 34:17

I want everyone to stop telling me to be thankful. I’m tired of reading it in devotionals, of hearing it in messages, of seeing quotes about it plastered all over social media.
I. DON’T. WANT. TO. BE. THANKFUL!


…Although I do not feel it this year, I have uttered those same thoughts during Thanksgivings of the past. Right around this time, heartache has hit home for me twice in the loss of both my parents. The despair was still raw. I was not angry at God, but in those moments I can honestly say~I wasn’t thankful either.


This past week I have heard some heavy hearts pour out that same ache to me over various situations in their lives. Thanksgiving does not feel thankful. One ache that has manifested itself often this holiday is that of a child who chooses to make the time for everyone else in their life except their mama.


The saddest part of that to me is the fact that the mothers are going through deep despair of their own. And yet, not a call, not a visit, not a hug, not a
“How are you doing mom? Are you okay?”


Nothing.
And it breaks my heart.


I was incredibly blessed to have a childhood many only dream of. We weren’t rich, but my parents made sure we knew how deeply we were loved. As the years went by, my relationship with my mom wasn’t always the best. I felt so justified in many of the angry moments I had toward her and her unrealistic expectations, but the older I get and the harder life becomes at times, the more I understand. She was hurting and I didn’t really get that.


I don’t think children ever really do until they’re putting those shoes on themselves. Mom is always mom. If the whole family is sick and she’s sick too, it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t get a day off. She takes care of everyone else. And for the rest of her life, that’s her role. Taking care of everyone else. Too often children forget that she’s hurting too. That she needs to be taken care of. That she needs someone to say, “Are you ok mom?”


Despite the disagreements, I would give anything to have my mom today. To hold her. To tell her how much I love her. To apologize for being selfish and not calling enough. To show her I understand now.


This Thanksgiving I am thankful for so many things. Blessings beyond measure. And I’m thankful for my mom and dad. I hope they always knew that. If they were alive today, I’d make sure I told them again and again.


Whatever your family dynamic is, pick up that phone and call your parents. Go visit them. Ask them how they’re doing. Tell them how much you love them. Try to see life from their eyes and how hard it can be at times. Ask God to show you their perspective before it’s too late.


Both years I lost my parents I faced the toughest Thanksgivings ever. Mom passed in November and dad in October. That’s an ache that no one understands unless you’ve gone through it yourself. I know of sweet mamas going through cancer treatments, sweet moms who lost their husbands recently, sweet moms who are all alone week after week after week.


Sweet moms who haven’t heard from their children.


I’m not going to tell you all the reasons you should be grateful this Thanksgiving. I know God tells us “In everything give thanks”, but I also understand heartache.
I will forever cling to the knowledge that Jesus wept. What a comfort~God understands too. Instead, I’m going to remind you that when you are hurting, your mom is hurting. Sometimes, SO much more. You have an opportunity today to give your parents a gift.


This Thanksgiving weekend, call your mom.
Call your dad.
Give your parents the gift of Thanksgiving. Oh if you only knew how much of a difference it would make in their lives and how much it would touch their hearts.


You might not understand today but,
one day you will and you will wish for today again. Make sure it’s a memory you’re grateful for and not one you will regret.


Scripture Reading:
I Timothy 5:4
Exodus 20:12
Deuteronomy 5:16
Proverbs 1:8
Psalm 133:1
Proverbs 10:1
Proverbs 23:22,25
I Corinthians 13:4-8,13
Luke 6:32
I Peter 4:8

I was a somewhat self centered new bride. Thirty seven years later, and I still am at times. Everything all about me. It’s something I’m constantly working on.


When we were newlyweds, we came up with our own little life plan. We were going to wait to have kids, spend a few years getting to know each other better and then start a family. Two months later I was pregnant. I was 20 years old.


Funny, with my first pregnancy it was all about the experience for me. (I blame it on my immaturity😂) The cute clothes, the big announcement, the first grandchild, the family excitement. The idea of being pregnant was so magical. Until reality hit.


I didn’t just have morning sickness, I had 24/7 sickness. Anytime, anywhere. When it hit, it hit hard. It was no respecter of time or place. And suddenly, it was no longer about that little baby growing inside of me. It was all about me.


I whined. I complained. I cried. I pouted. I felt sorry for myself. I forgot about the “why” because I was so focused on me.


But when my precious little child was born, everything changed.


All the sickness of pregnancy and pain of childbirth was wrapped up in a tiny baby and when that gift was given to me, it was beyond good. She was my miracle.


Her birthday is next week. She continues to teach me what selfless truly means. She is one of the most selfless people I know.


Looking back I realize, if I had taken my eyes off of Charisse and focused on the miracle inside me, things could have been so different. I’m not trying to say that I miraculously would have avoided morning sickness, but a different outlook could have changed my life, and the lives of those around me.


We are human. It’s easy to let the “what about me” feelings seep in and control us. It’s natural to want others to feel sorry for us when life is hard, to want a little compassion and even empathy.
Life is hard. For some, unbearably hard.


But even in the unbearable, we are not alone. There is a Miracle living inside us and His name is Jesus. From the beginning of time He has promised that He will always be with us and will never leave us comfortless.


Some of us might be so focused on ourselves that we completely miss God’s “why”. Others might not ever know the “why” of their suffering until they are home in heaven one day. In either case, we can choose to glorify our Savior if we will learn to continually fix our eyes on Him.


Sometimes we forget that. We take our eyes off the Miracle and focus on ourselves.


My first little miracle’s name is Jessica.
When she was born, everything changed.


The miracle of all mankind’s name is Jesus. The season of His birth is fast approaching. He is our Wonderful, our Counselor, our Prince of peace. He is our Comforter and Sustainer.


All our pain, all our sin and all our suffering was wrapped up in a precious little baby Who took it upon Himself when He died on the cross. When He was born, all of mankind was given the greatest gift of all.
Everything changed. Our past, our present, our future. Our eternity.


All the pain and all the “hard” that we might be going through will one day produce our own miracle. I know this to be true because God promises me that whatever I face is for my good, and I trust Him. I’m not trying to convince you that the hard will miraculously go away if we take our eyes off of ourselves and place them on our Savior, but I am saying that our lives will look a whole lot different if we do.


And the lives of those around you will be better for it.


Focus on the Miracle inside you.
Focus on the miracle of Jesus.






SCRIPTURE READING


Hebrews 12:1-2
Galatians 2:20
Ephesians 3:16-21
2 Corinthians 13:4-5
Isaiah 9:6-7
John 14:18-20
John 3:16
Romans 8:28, 38-39
Isaiah 41:10-13
1 Peter 5:7
Hebrews 13:5-6

I’m such a baby.


My husband had his knee replaced on Monday. He came home Monday night. Yes, that’s quick. Too quick. Since he did so great with his shoulder replacement in July, we thought we knew what to expect.
We were wrong. His first day home he overdid the exercises and didn’t take his prescribed pain medication. Tuesday the pain and swelling set in. By Tuesday evening the tears were rolling down my cheeks as I changed his bandages and heard him cry out in pain. Lessons learned for the next knee, scheduled in December.


Wednesday as I sat with him in Physical therapy and watched his face riddled with pain again, I fought back the tears and had this little conversation inside my head~ “Charisse. Get a hold of yourself. Be strong. You look ridiculous crying over this.”


I thought about that a lot today. Me being a big baby. How ridiculous I looked crying over my husband’s pain, how ridiculous I look when I cry about a lot of things…
but then I had a little God moment epiphany~
Who says? Who says it’s ridiculous to cry?
Who has the right to say it is weak to weep when we see loved ones in pain or even when we are experiencing heartache of our own?


God doesn’t. Man does.


Man’s words are continually ingrained into us~ Be strong. Other people are going through much worse. Look at all your blessings, you have no right to cry. Don’t show your vulnerabilities. Don’t be weak. And yet, the majority of the time it’s all a facade.


We are weak. We are human. Tears flow.


And guess what? God is okay with that because in our weakness we find His strength.


God really opened my eyes to that fact in my bible reading this week. I read the story of a woman who was barren. It touched me deeply. My own child is experiencing this anguish and it is a rollercoaster of emotions. Hard doesn’t come close to describing it. Prayers have been poured out. Tears have been shed. An answer has not come.


As I read God’s words to me about the story of Hannah, several things were brought to my attention. Hannah was never reprimanded by God for crying. Hannah cried because of how she was treated by another woman. She cried because her prayers weren’t answered. She cried because her heart was broken. She had bitterness of soul and wept.
Even the man of God judged her.
God did not. There is power in her story.


The hard hit home this week. My husband endured excruciating pain. A sweet friend had breast cancer surgery and another dear friend found out she has pancreatic cancer. There is heartache all around us. Life can be so cruel, but oh how powerful our great God is. He will help us walk through the unthinkable and from our pain He will produce miracles. Others may judge us because of our tears, but God does not. God does not diminish the pain we feel. He does not categorize our tears. He keeps every one of them. He tells us to cast ALL our cares on Him. Not just the big cares, ALL the cares. He understands. God offers grace. He offers tenderness. He offers miracles.

As I got my dad’s old walker out of the backseat of our car and helped my husband into another therapy session yesterday, the emotions were all there. Memories came rushing in of doing the same thing for my dad at countless doctor appointments. It was also the anniversary of my mom’s home going. In that brief moment I wanted to yell at the world~”I’m tired of trying to be strong!!!”


But then I recalled the words of a dear friend, beautifully reminding us all not to quit.


Hannah never quit. Though she had tears, she kept on praying to God for her miracle.


And so, I watched my husband take one tiny step after another and I thanked God through the tears. I know God’s working miracles, but I also know He thinks it’s okay if I cry through the process. I will give the hard to Him again and again, day after day because my yoke might be heavy but when I give that yoke to Him, my burdens become light. I may not see the answers I’m looking for and I might cry like a baby, but this one thing I am confident of~He will hold me through it all and allow me to let the tears fall with no judgement.
He will whisper to my soul~


It’s okay Charisse, have a good cry. Miracles are coming.




SCRIPTURE READING:


2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Philippians 1:6
Matthew 11:28-30
I Peter 5:7
Psalm 34:17-19, 56:8-9, 147:3-5
Hebrews 4:15-16
I Samuel 1
Isaiah 40:28-29, 43:2
John 16:33

Can you take out the trash? Can you go to the store? Can you fix the sink? Can you put gas in the car? Can you rub my back? Can you read my mind,
know why I’m in a bad mood without me telling you,
be romantic and meet my every need~ while also allowing me to take out every frustration on you?


Christmas movies are coming back in full swing. I’ve seen the commercials. I’ve heard the comments. “Same story, different town”. This week I reflected on my own Christmas movie moment 38 years ago. All the mushy feelings portrayed in those commercials, I was feeling that Christmas. And then I thought about today…


Each person’s love story is unique to them, but I think the one thing most of us can agree on is that it started out just like everyone else’s. Falling madly in love.


Despite the pressures and responsibilities, despite all the stress life could throw at you, you fell in love. You thought about that person constantly. You made time for each other and life seemed to melt away when you were together.


Today, 38 years later I realize too often that when life throws the “bad” at me, I take it out on my husband. I either want him to fix it, or I want to rehash all my frustrations without him giving me a practical solution. I just want to whine. And through it all I’m yelling
“I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at the situation!!!” This can be very confusing for the poor guy. Sure seems like I’m mad at the world, husband included.


I find that I look to him as a resource instead of a relationship. I take his love for granted.


I reread one of my own posts this week that asked the question~ “Are you treating your connection to God like a resource instead of a relationship?” When I first posted it, I honestly thought~
Nope! Not me!


So God did something a little different to open my eyes. He showed me all the ways I treat my connection to my husband like a resource instead of a relationship. Once He did that, I realized I was doing the same things with God. My mutterings are too often “Please, please, please” and not enough “thank you” or even just sitting still in His presence and loving just being with my Savior. Too often I want happiness, peace, comfort, love and answers to all my prayers~
instead of just God. I take His love for granted.


Here is the great takeaway though~
God actually WANTS to do all those things for us because THAT’S WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE. And then I thought of all the things I’m constantly asking of Mike and without complaint, he does them. Because that’s what love looks like.


And so, I determined to refocus on my relationship with my husband and with my Savior. I want to pour my heart and soul into those relationships. I want to remember all those feelings I had for Mike 38 years ago when life never got in the way.


There is nothing wrong with asking God to help us love more. To love our spouses more, to love God more. The very first fruit of His Spirit is love. So, this morning before I got out of bed I asked God to show me that love in Who He is. To help me not to just go to Him for “all the things”, but to have a real relationship with Him. I opened my bedroom curtains to a breathtaking sunrise. It painted the entire sky with it’s beauty. It made me realize that God is ALWAYS showing me that love in Who He is, I’m just too busy with Charisse to notice.


We should be one with our spouses, just as we should be one with God. He is in us and for us. He holds our hands and loves us through everything.


As the years pass, let’s not all end up with “same story, different town” in our relationships. Let’s not be so busy focusing on ourselves that we fail to notice the many ways our spouses show us they love us on a daily basis. Let’s bring on the romance when we’re in our 80’s. Let’s love on our spouses just because. Let’s remember all those mushy feelings we had.


And let’s not allow our relationship with God to become a resource only. Let’s think on Him constantly. Let’s allow life to melt away when we’re in His presence, let’s notice the many ways God shows us His love on a daily basis. It’s evident in every single thing your eye can behold. A love so great that all the books in the world could not contain the countless ways He loves us. Let’s sit at His feet and adore Him.


Because that’s what love looks like.




Scripture Reading: Luke 17:12-19,
John 21:25, Romans 1:20-21, Psalm 19:1-2, Matthew 22:37-40

​*Thats the view from my bedroom window ❤️

What is a woman?
I am a woman.


When I was a little girl, I never would have imagined that the use of that phrase could possibly cause controversy.


I am a woman.
I am incredibly thankful I am a woman.


Not because I am better than a man.
Not because I want to shove that sentence in someone’s face.

I am thankful because that is who God made me to be~
and I embrace it.


Through various movements of the last century, women have been inundated with two requisites. The first~Women are powerful. The second~Just being a woman isn’t enough.
We need to “be more” and “do more” so that we can prove we “are more”.
The world is constantly screaming “more” in the face of femininity.
The concept contradicts itself.


I have nothing to prove.
I am a woman.


Femininity has gone through all the stages.
From the genuine love of being a homemaker to~
“I am equal to and even better than man”, to “there is no such thing as a woman”. Wives, mothers and homemakers have been made to feel less than, looked down upon and even ignorant.


Definitely not powerful.


This morning as I prayed, my own mother came to mind. I pictured her doing “all the things”. Her arm halfway in a turkey on Thanksgiving morning. The ironing board out every Tuesday and the vacuum and mop every Friday. The home cooked meals, the date nights with my dad, the stories read to me before I went to bed each night.


She loved every minute of it.
I loved every minute of it.
And I wept.


Not because my mom was weak, brainwashed by society at the time, or even ignorant~


But because my mom was powerful.
She gave me the precious gift of a childhood that kids only dream of. She instilled in me a deep gratitude and love of everyday life, the feeling of comfort, security and love. The desire to pass that on to everyone I meet. She had an impact on my life in a thousand different ways. An impact that enables me to say today~


I am blessed to be a woman.
I am blessed to be a wife.
I am blessed to be a mother.


Over and over in scripture God gives us examples of powerful women. Today I read about two. One was a judge. One was a housewife. God used BOTH for His glory. His power was evident in the soft hand of a woman.


Woman and man.
Male and female.
I am a woman.


Any earthly accomplishments or possessions I have at the end of this life will only be wood hay and stubble. I cannot take my accomplishments and possessions with me when I die.


But oh the power in spreading light through darkness, kindness instead of hatred, finding joy in every moment, loving your husband and raising little souls for God’s kingdom. Little souls that will impact the world for a future we may never see.


Souls that can share the light of Jesus.
A light that this dark world desperately needs.


There is power in that. It doesn’t come from the reserve of an accomplished female who checks off all the boxes this world deems necessary to claim the pronoun “she” today.


The power comes from Christ within us.
And with that power we can change the world.


I am a woman.
If I choose, I will dance around the house in my skirts and high heels. I will cook meals and bake goodies with my grandchildren. I will clean my home and be thankful for the million little things God blesses me with on a daily basis. I will love on my husband. I will minister to other women, write blog posts, share God’s word, comfort and love in only a way a woman can do. I will be powerful and I will pass that power of Christ on to the next generation. I will embrace womanhood and shout it from the rooftops, with absolutely no shame.


I don’t have to choose my pronoun because God has chosen it for me from the beginning of time.


I am a woman,
And I praise God for it.


SCRIPTURE READING:
John 15:16
Jeremiah 1:5
Romans 8:4
Psalms 139:13-18
Judges 4

I don’t know when it started, but I became quite the little liar when I was a child. I suppose all children go through some stage of lying, but today I’m faced with the reality that I never really grew out of it.


Up until one particular day, I found I could lie my way out of anything and get away with it.


I asked my mom if I could play outside with my friend. It was summer. I was five. She told me that I could, but not until I cleaned my room. I definitely did NOT want to clean my room. I’m sure I did a lot of complaining because I just wanted to be happy and have fun. I remember this next part like it was yesterday. She said:
“and you better not shove it all in your closet or under your bed.”


Within minutes I called downstairs to let her know I was finished so she could come up to check. “Wow”, she said as she looked around, “you did such a good job.”And then she asked~ “You didn’t shove it all in your closet or under your bed, did you?”


To this day, I don’t know what my little five year old brain was thinking, because I looked her straight in the eye, nodded, smiled and said~ “no mama, I cleaned it all”.


And then she opened the closet door.


I had tried to make it look good on the outside so I could get what I wanted on the inside. Today as I searched my heart, I realized that I continue to do this. I want my life to be happy and fun~ and I want to tag Jesus on to all of it. So I do “all the things”. All the outward things “for His glory”, but the more I do for “His glory”, the less time I spend with Him.
And yet, I want Him to bless it all.


This blog included.


What was I thinking?


I can nod and smile and say “it’s all good”, but I know it isn’t. Too much good robs me of the best. Today, God opened the door of my heart and everything came tumbling out.


Bible study books, Sunday School lessons, Children’s Ministry material, Ladies Book ministries, the search for awesome quotes to post on my Holding Hope page and the search for the best words to write for this blog... They all came tumbling out, and along with them came fatigue and comparison, depression and questioning, complaining and defeat.


And there on the dresser sat my Bible.
The one needful thing.


Doing all the outward things doesn’t make God love us more. Doing “all the things” doesn’t guarantee us a happy, blessed, fun Christian life or gain us brownie points with God. Sometimes satan uses our busyness to distract us from the one needful thing and then he labels it “ministry.”


I fell into this mindset once again and realized I was lying to myself and to others, but more importantly~ to God.


And all along He knew.


I almost quit my blog and Facebook page this week. I looked at the numbers, the likes, the shares, the views and decided God wasn’t blessing it anymore. I looked at the numbers instead of my heart. So, I searched and prayed and opened my Bible and then I prayed some more. And just like He always does, God answered. Whenever I get writer’s block and discouragement over my blog hits me hard, I realize it’s because I am not doing that one needful thing. Looking to Jesus. Opening every door, letting it all tumble out and asking Him for guidance in cleaning it up. He always does. And then He gives me the words to pen.


And He shows me,
they aren’t for the reader,
they are for me.
Because they are the EXACT words I need to hear from Him.


I didn’t get to play outside that summer day so long ago. But my mom helped me by guiding and instructing me on how to actually clean my room the right way. And I got to spend an afternoon with my mama that I will never forget. Even at five, she instilled something in me that has lasted 52 years.


God knows what we’re hiding that needs to come tumbling out. Quit leaning against that door and let God open it. He’s been knocking, but sometimes we’re just too busy to hear. Give it all to Him and ask for His guidance. Every day He will instill something new in your heart that will change you~
Just by spending time with Him. There isn’t a ministry book or blog, a Facebook page or podcast (all the “fruit” that’s supposed to make us wise) that can replace time spent with God and His steadfast love. Don’t let satan deceive you. (Genesis 3:5-6) Trying to look good on the outside won’t give you what your soul needs on the inside.


Do the one needful thing.


Todays scripture reading:
Luke 10:42
Genesis 3:5-6
Psalm 107
Psalm 108:1-7, 12&13
Psalm 109:4, 21&22, 26&27, 30.
Luke 11:9-13

As a child, my family traveled down south for vacation one year and I distinctly remember thinking that I would never live in Ohio~
especially not the Toledo area…
(I’m sorry all you Buckeye fans)
Well, you know the old saying~
If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.
Only a few years into our marriage we had moved from Rochester, MI to Stratford, CT and then… you guessed it~ Toledo, Ohio.


“In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths”. Proverbs 3:5-6


I never saw our path leading us there, but God did, and I’m so glad that we asked for His wisdom and guidance. I’m so glad that we stepped out in faith and trusted Him~because it changed my life. Three short years made up a lifetime of happy memories. Three short years that God used to prepare my heart for the future in ways I never would have imagined.


*Sweet, precious, life long friendships were forged.
*We grew close to our teen group and continually prayed for them, even after moving away. Today we are so blessed to see answers to prayer in the godly adults and parents many of them have become.
*My faith grew tremendously through the trials of sick babies.
*When my husband had to work out of state five days a week, I realized how often I had taken him for granted. Our marriage grew even stronger.
*After many dormant years, I was somewhat forced to take up my piano playing again. I now play for our church every Sunday.
*For a brief moment in time, my children attended a Christian school in the area.
Today, many years later and many, many miles away~two of my children are married to spouses who attended that very same school. Not only that, but while my nephew was living with us he also met and married a young lady from the same school.


*I learned the incredible beauty of a grateful heart.


Through the heartbreaking tears of goodbye and an unknown future ahead, God eventually led us here, to our church family in Caseville. My husband has been the pastor here for 28 years.


Too often we go about our days without truly asking God to direct our paths. Our days are monotonous. In our human minds, our daily, mundane activities don’t seem important to His kingdom. We don’t think of our normal “everyday” as big things for God. Unless something is going wrong within our routine, we don’t always factor God into the equation. But, when we choose to ask God to direct our paths and our steps, He delights in us and leads us to places we might not have ever experienced without that acknowledgement.


Do you know how much easier your life becomes when you give God your days the moment you step out of bed? When you pray and ask God to order your steps and direct your paths, and then you trust Him to do just that? You begin to realize that everything that happens throughout your day was orchestrated and directed by Him, even if it wasn’t what you planned.


Your faith grows. And when your little, everyday plans, or your really big, (sometimes life changing) plans are disrupted~ it’s so much easier to trust God, because you know in your heart that you have given your days to Him and asked Him to direct your paths.
Psalm 32:8


Paths that will take you along the banks of green pastures and still waters. Paths of life and joy. Paths of peace that passes understanding and unexpected comfort. Beautiful opportunities to serve God and blessings that might have been missed had we not asked Him for direction. Paths that lead to our future and answers to prayer that will affect generations to come.
Psalm 16:11, 25:4-5, 37:23, 61:2, 78:6-7 & 72, 86:11, 119:105, Proverbs 3:5-6, 16:9, John 14:26 & 16:13, Isaiah 30:21, 48:17 & 58:11, Matthew 7:7-11, Philippians 4:7.


Every moment is big to God. Every moment can glorify Him.
Every step~ whether that step is in a workplace or inside the four walls of your home~ every single step can change your heart and your life.


In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths~even if that path isn’t going in the direction you want, or think is best. Trust me on this one. God’s paths will always lead to the very best. Take that step of faith today. Psalm 23

Our first day of Fall arrives this week.


For many, Fall is a welcome guest. Bring on the football games and sweater weather, hot cocoa and cider, changing leaves and cozy feels~ all wrapped up in blankets and pumpkin spice.


For others, Fall brings with it loneliness, darkness, isolation and depression. It is an unwanted guest.


Until recently, I never realized how many view the arrival of Fall like a dark storm cloud moving in, covering up all the beautiful sun of lazy summer days and long summer evenings.


And it’s hard.


Our mind is a powerful tool. It can make us believe things can’t or won’t get better. As the days become shorter and shorter it can convince you that you will never climb out of the darkness that lies ahead.


You know what’s more powerful than our mind?
The mind of Christ.(Philippians 2:5-11)
The Holy Spirit within us. (John 14:26)
The power of God. (Ephesians 6:10-11)


Satan knows that we are supposed to shine the light of Christ into the darkness of our world, so he convinces us that there is no light to shine. That life will not and cannot get better.


Don’t give up!
Don’t give in to those thoughts!
This is not truth!


God’s words are truth! (Hebrews 4:12)


And so~ with God’s help, I want to help each of us to renew our minds this Fall.


Fall Bucket Lists seem to be all the rage. Just type those words into Google or the Pinterest search bar and you will find a myriad of ideas. For some the lists are full of fun, Fall activities. For others they are only a reminder of their loneliness.


You are never alone because God is in you and for you. (Isaiah 41:10, Joshua 1:9, Deuteronomy 31:6 & 8, Romans 8:38-39, Zephaniah 3:17, Psalm 23:4, 46:1, 1 Peter 5:7)


With that in mind, I have come up with a Fall Bucket List to help each of us to renew our minds in Christ.
(Romans 12:2) To change our perspective. To grab a hold of that power and to learn to enjoy Fall in all its glory.


And for those of us who love Fall, maybe this list will be a good reminder that the changing seasons aren’t all about us and how many fun activities we can pack in. A gentle reminder that everything we do~whether we eat or drink or watch football games under cozy blankets~ everything is for God’s glory.
(1 Corinthians 10:31)


Perhaps God wants us to notice a little more, notice the ones who aren’t smiling. Notice the lonely. Notice the sad and broken and help make their lives a little brighter. (Galatians 5:13-14)


As the days get shorter and shorter, don’t allow all your fun activities to overshadow and don’t allow the darkness to overcome. Be the light.


You might truly believe you can’t, and that’s ok because you don’t have to. Christ’s power within you will overcome that darkness. (Philippians 4:13, 2 Corinthians 12:9, 2 Timothy 1:7, Luke 1:37)


And with the changing seasons, He can change your heart. With the dark, early evenings~ He can and will be your light~ so that you can be His light.
(Psalm 27:1, 2 Corinthians 10:5)


Turn up the lamp of God’s glory.
Be the light~ His glorious light!

Bible apps to listen to:
https://dwellapp.io/+99H0
https://www.bible.com/app
​

The older I get, the more I realize that wisdom comes with age and yet, I am not wise. I don’t have all the answers.* As a pastor’s wife, that can be hard. People come to you for answers. It’s hard to find yourself at a loss for words and admit~
”I don’t know.”


I don’t know why beautiful, Godly souls have suffered tremendous loss, sometimes over and over again. I don’t know why precious wives with longing hearts plead with God for children year after year, yet remain barren. I don’t know why marriages crumble despite prayers to God for restoration. I don’t know why depression or anxiety can grip you for no apparent reason, and wake you from a sound sleep.


I do know that if you typed any of these things into Google, you would have a myriad of answers, many from a biblical perspective. A sin cursed world is the obvious answer, but there isn’t a human being alive that can explain why heartache hits home for some~yet not for others. That answer is entrusted to God alone. God’s word tells us the comforting promise that everything we go through is for our good, but quite often it doesn’t feel good at all.* I have heard people say~ “just give it to God” or “God is in control, you just have to trust Him”.*


Easier said than done.


So many times I will read these things and all my heart can utter is~”how?” How do you just “give it to God”?


Recently I have woken from a sound sleep in complete panic. That’s another hard thing for me to admit. I honestly have no idea why it is happening. I don’t feel like I’m stressed or anxious, yet it has happened more than once. My heart races and sleep doesn’t come again for hours. And so, I will pray and pray and ask God to take it all~ anything I’m holding on to. My marriage, my children, my ministry. Anything that might be causing this. Any control issues I am not aware of. Over and over~”I give it all to you God.” And yet, sleep eludes me still.


Night after night I felt I was failing. I expected the anxiety to magically disappear when I gave it all to God. I felt like a disappointment to my Redeemer who loves me so much. I questioned whether I was truly surrendering everything to Him. What was I doing wrong?


These uncomfortable moments are but a blip in time compared to the years of anguish and questions some sweet Christians go through. Questions with no answers.


Today He reminded me of a beautiful truth. Out of nowhere a memory came to my mind of the many nights my children would have bad dreams when they were very little. Dreams that would wake them. Dreams that caused tears. Quite often they would either cry out for Mike and I, or come down to our bedroom crying. My mama heart was so incredibly tender toward them that the tears would swell up in my own eyes. They would snuggle in with us in bed, and eventually fall back asleep.


Did I reprimand them or get angry with them if it happened again the next night or if the tears would not cease? No. I never did. My love was so great for them that my heart shared in their pain. Did my presence take away the bad dream? Did my words make it magically disappear? No, but my presence and my words brought them comfort. Knowing I was there next to them is what made the difference.


And I think that’s the answer for us, even as adults.


That unfathomable love I have for my children is nothing compared to the love God has for us.


I don’t know why so many go through so much, but I do know that I can say without a shadow of a doubt that you will NEVER go through it alone.* God is always there. His words of comfort and strength are always available to us.


Does that magically take the heartache many are enduring away? No. But what comfort it brings to a weary soul. We are never alone. I may wake up tonight with a grieving heart over missing my parents and loved ones. I may wake up tonight with a heavy heart for the things my children are going through, I may wake up tonight with a deeply sad heart, or a racing heart for no apparent reason, but I need not fear or be anxious or wonder if God is disappointed that it has happened once again. His grace washes over me like a sweet lullaby and His joy warms my heart like a cozy blanket. I need only snuggle in with Him and realize that He may not take this away, but He will never, ever leave my side as I deal with it.


Whatever heartache, anxiety, unanswered prayer, devastation and loss you are experiencing~ you are not alone. Nightmares will never cease no matter our age, but you are His child and as little children we can cry out to our Father knowing He is closer than our very thoughts. Knowing that He shares in your pain, knowing that the bad dream won’t magically disappear but that we can snuggle into Him and He will hold us through it~*


That knowledge is good. It is glorifying. That knowledge will make all the difference, and that is a comfort to cling to.




*Psalm 131:1, Romans 8:18-23 & 28, Proverbs 3:5-6, Hebrews 13:5, Romans 8:38-39, Psalm 139:1-18,

I have a hard time getting rid of things. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a hoarder.
I have a very easy time throwing things away, a little too easy… 😂😂
Organizing and purging is a great past time of mine, but I’m also very sentimental.


Today, one of my baskets caught my eye. There’s really nothing special about it, in fact it doesn’t even go with my decor anymore. But when I looked at that basket, a memory rushed through me. A memory of antique shopping with my mom and dad. My dad bought me that basket and in that split second I was transported to that time, as if I was watching a scene from a film of my life. I was able to relive that moment with my dad and it made me smile.


I probably wouldn’t have thought about that specific moment in time if I didn’t have that basket.


Things of no significance to others can spark magic in our hearts by striking the memory of a beautiful moment.


There are times that I will be antiquing with my daughter and she will find something that brings her right back to her childhood and moments she shared with my mom. And her heart longs to own that piece that struck that memory.


Quite often we are admonished as Christian’s to not care so much about stuff. About things. Because they’re only things. We can’t take them with us when we die. But I see so much more when I look at things. I can’t take them with me, but I can create happiness all around them that I will leave for my children and grandchildren. Happy moments they will remember and talk about. Memories that will make them smile. Just by looking at one thing.


I don’t think God ever intended our lives to be stark and void of beauty. He intended our souls to be flooded with joy and happiness because that joy and happiness glorifies Him. All you have to do is look around you to realize this.


There is so much beauty God has given us that we take for granted. He didn’t have to create such beauty in a sunset or a field of flowers. Such awe in a starlit sky or the sand upon the seashore, the green pastures and the still waters, the lilies and the sparrows, the secret place of thunder and the little hills that rejoice on every side. (Psalm 23, Luke 12:27, Matthew 10:29-31, Psalm 81:7, Psalm 65:12)


When we recall these things in our mind’s eye, why do we smile? What purpose is in their beauty? Because God delights in joy. God delights in us and through that joy, He is glorified. (Proverbs 8:30-31, 11:20b, Psalm 18:19)


His beautiful creation screams His majesty to the entire world and we are in awe. (Psalm 19:1, 104)


Just as I am in awe of the simple basket at my feet. A basket that holds a precious memory beautifully wrapped inside. A gift from God that belongs exclusively to me. What a wonder to think upon.


They may be wood hay and stubble but don’t feel shame for the joy these sentiments bring. Instead recognize that these tiny treasures of joy are gifts from God. We aren’t meant to worship the gift, but the Giver.


I still have my mom’s old roaster, her big old frying pan, her Christmas dishes and candy jars. I have my dad’s glasses, the ones I helped him pick out just before he passed away. It makes me smile to think of how “spiffy” he felt in them. I cherish each one of these things, and so many more because when I look at them I am flooded with a thankful heart for the memories of happiness they evoke.


They aren’t just stuff. They are beauty to me. They are gifts from God. They are treasures from heaven. Just as His creation, I will always find myself praising Him when I think on them.


Find yourself praising God on a daily basis. Find your own basket and fill it with joy until it is overflowing. The more we recognize God’s amazing gifts all around us, the more we glorify Him and lay up treasures in heaven.


Those things and those memories? When I think on them, I weep with the knowledge of how much God loves me.
Moth and rust can never take that knowledge or those memories away. They are beautiful gifts from God that exemplify the meaning of glorifying through gratefulness. Gifts that we can leave for generations to come.