“GIVING IN” MOMENTS OF MAMAS WITH TEENS
3 minute read
When our kids were little we adopted a rescue dog. The kids named her Mandy and she became a part of our family.
On one particular night around 2am, Mandy began pacing, running up and down our steps. She was relentless and whiny.
Mike (my husband) was tired.
He was annoyed.
He gave in.
He got out of bed and let her out.
As soon as the door opened, she took off.
I don’t know how long she was gone. When she finally returned, before we could stop her she ran right back upstairs and into bed with the girls.
It was too late.
The stench filled our entire house.
Mandy had been playing tag with a skunk.
The skunk won.
The next morning despite the smell, we sent the kids to school.
(I know...what were we thinking? 😂)
It didn’t take long for the stench to permeate the entire school. It emanated from their closed lockers, book bags, clothing and hair.
Let’s just say that “perfect attendance” was not high on the school’s priority list that day.
My kids were all sent home.
They were not happy.
This might seem like a silly tale,
can I just encourage you~
don’t give in.
It starts at a young age. Our children want to do the same things the other kids are allowed to do. They want to watch the same shows and listen to the same music and wear the same clothes and go to the same places. They want to get out of our house.
They will whine and cry and beg. And it will not stop for at least... 18 to 22 years 😂
And you will get tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of being “that parent”. Tired of being the bad guy. Tired of the relentless begging and whining.
You will be tempted to just give in.
if your intuition is screaming “NO” and you give in, if you try to convince yourself that maybe it isn’t as bad as you think~
that one moment of weakness could lead to future heartache and unhappiness. No matter how hard you try to pretend it didn’t happen, you won’t be able to go back on the decision you made to just give in.
Giving in is just like allowing them to play tag with a skunk. The skunk will always win.
The stench that might ensue will permeate every aspect of your child’s life and the consequences could emanate for years.
One single moment of “giving in” could change everything.
Mama, you know what’s best for your child. You know in your heart of hearts the things that you shouldn’t give in to. God gave you a mother’s intuition.
Believe me, I know how hard it is to say no over and over and how much it hurts when the response is continual anger. You feel as if your child hates you~ and truthfully, they might believe they do hate you. But God knows all of that. God hears your prayers and knows your hurt. He will watch over your child and one day, when they’re an adult and have children of their own, their eyes will be opened to the truth and they will realize the tremendous love you had for them in the “not giving in” season of their life.
And when that day comes, your children will thank you.
My children are all grown now. There are times I look back on and wish I hadn’t given in. I hadn’t worried about being the cool parent or having my children “like” me.
I wish I would’ve had the faith to trust God that they might not have liked me in the moment but they would love me for that “no moment” in the future.
There are also instances we look back on and my adult children thank me and tell me they don’t know where they’d be today if I had given up and given in.
Even though I remember the hurt from the hateful looks and angry responses (especially between the ages of 13-18 😬) my heart is full today and I thank God for the intuition He gave this mama because without Him...
That skunk would’ve won.