Today I’m inviting you to my wedding. I’m sharing a video my son made for us 7 years ago for our 30th anniversary… When you’re young and you fall in love, quite often you don’t think too far ahead. You’re living in the moment. Maybe you talk about children or future plans, but the farthest you get in your thought process is the dream of getting old together, sitting on a porch with a white picket fence and smiling at the wonderful life God allowed you. Lately, I have continually heard the question~ “How did you know he was the one?” It seems to be a recurring theme on sappy Christmas movies. I pondered that as I thought back. It occurred to me the other day that I actually had that vision of Mike and I when I first got married, the whole “growing old, white picket fence” thing. I never saw that future with anyone else. A future where I couldn’t live without him. When I was 20, I never dreamed that someday my crazy, active young man (who could face any challenge and do any thing) would have three major joints replaced within 5 months time. His shoulder, right knee and next week, his left knee. When we’re young, we don’t like to think about the “what if’s” of our futures. What if my husband gets dementia? What if my husband gets cancer? What if he has heart problems or lung problems? What if he is no longer the strong man I lean on, when I really need to lean on him? My husband is my best friend. He’s the love of my life, but I’ll be honest~ there have been times I’ve lost my patience with him. I’ve lost the spark. I’ve misplaced my dreams, the very dreams that we actually got to live out together. I remember that childish girl who promised her forever to the man of those dreams. Our anniversary is this week and I remember my “for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” I meant every word as he held my hands in front of 500 people 37 years ago. Truth be told~ I’m sure he didn’t think he signed up for a wife with all my issues either, but he loves me despite me. This “outward” that we grow old with isn’t truly us, it’s just our physical bodies aging through the process of time. Our true self lies deep within. It is our souls. They never grow old. I fell in love with Mike’s soul 37 years ago. Today I want to encourage you to remember that soul you fell in love with. The soul God placed in your hands to love and cherish. Some days it’s a lot harder to do, but those are the days we need to remind ourselves that our husbands have hard days dealing with us as well. You hold his soul in the heart of your actions, your words, your respect, your passion, your touch, your empathy, your patience your tenderness~ and most importantly~ your love. Remember that young girl who couldn’t imagine a future without him. Whatever you face in the days ahead, whatever reality has squashed the dreams of that naive young bride you once were, don’t let go of that promise to love. No matter what. I wrote the words to that song we’re singing at our wedding. Mike came up with the tune. I cannot believe shy Charisse even attempted to sing it. That’s what love does to you, makes you believe you can do anything. With all your heart, with all your soul~ Make each other believe again this Christmas. Scripture Reading: I Corinthians 13:1-8, 16:14 I John 4:7-8 I Timothy 5:8 Romans 12:9-10 John 15:11-12 Hebrews 10:24
12/2/2022
A Bit Of JollyHave you ever prayed for your children, but deep down felt like it would take a literal miracle for it to be answered?
Sadly, I have… I had a dear friend who used to remind me continually of who Jesus is. Not who Jesus was, but who He is~ the same yesterday, today and forever. The same Jesus who worked wondrous miracles throughout the Bible is the same Jesus working miracles in my life today. My friend went home to heaven one week before my dad. He was such an encourager. From the day we met him until the day he went home to be with Jesus, he continually lifted my heart when it was down. His words were like presents and hugs wrapped into one. He was always jolly, and I think of him so often. Today I recall such a day of encouragement. You see, a mother’s prayer has been answered and my friend encouraged me through the waiting. If you have or had teenage children (or children in general), you will understand. Although it may seem trivial compared to the heartache some are facing today, it can still break a mama’s heart when her daughter’s fight continually and you don’t see any hope at the end of the tunnel. You have visions of them hating each other the rest of their lives. Every holiday get together from now until infinity will be riddled with strife or empty seats because they refuse to celebrate together. Yes, it was that bad. For a few years, I think I cried over my bible and coffee every morning after they left for school. And then one day a miracle slipped in. It was so subtle and although they are completely different personalities, my girls became best friends. And I am in awe. I had almost given up on that prayer. A prayer I prayed for almost 20 years. And when I stood back and watched it unfold, I thought about the words of my friend as he told me stories of his own two girls. How he encouraged me continually, and how his smile lit up his face as he spoke of his daughter’s sweet friendship now. Today, I am on a Christmas shopping trip with my own daughters. Not just the two I spoke of, but my youngest and my daughter in law as well. It has become a Christmas tradition. Our “girls” trip. We get a hotel. We shop, we eat, we drink lots of coffee, we shop some more, we laugh and maybe cry, we pray, we blast Christmas music… and this mama rejoices. My God is so good. Today I want to encourage you to not give up on the heart of your mama prayers. Today I want to encourage you to be an encourager. Everyone needs a bit of jolly in their lives. You can give them that gift. I’m so thankful for my friend and I’ll never forget his words to me. Today as I sit and listen to my girls laughter in the other room, I smile through the tears and I know my friend is smiling in heaven right along with me. With a twinkle in his eye I can hear him say~ I told you Charisse. God can do anything. Scripture Reading: Hebrews 13:8 Hebrews 10:24-25 Romans 1:11-12, 8:26, 15:2, 5 I Thessalonians 5:11, 17 2 Corinthians 1:5 Galatians 6:2 Philippians 4:6 Luke 11:9 John 15:7 Mark 11:24 Jeremiah 33:3 Psalm 27:13-14, 28:7, 34:17
11/25/2022
Give Your Parents A GiftI want everyone to stop telling me to be thankful. I’m tired of reading it in devotionals, of hearing it in messages, of seeing quotes about it plastered all over social media.
I. DON’T. WANT. TO. BE. THANKFUL! …Although I do not feel it this year, I have uttered those same thoughts during Thanksgivings of the past. Right around this time, heartache has hit home for me twice in the loss of both my parents. The despair was still raw. I was not angry at God, but in those moments I can honestly say~I wasn’t thankful either. This past week I have heard some heavy hearts pour out that same ache to me over various situations in their lives. Thanksgiving does not feel thankful. One ache that has manifested itself often this holiday is that of a child who chooses to make the time for everyone else in their life except their mama. The saddest part of that to me is the fact that the mothers are going through deep despair of their own. And yet, not a call, not a visit, not a hug, not a “How are you doing mom? Are you okay?” Nothing. And it breaks my heart. I was incredibly blessed to have a childhood many only dream of. We weren’t rich, but my parents made sure we knew how deeply we were loved. As the years went by, my relationship with my mom wasn’t always the best. I felt so justified in many of the angry moments I had toward her and her unrealistic expectations, but the older I get and the harder life becomes at times, the more I understand. She was hurting and I didn’t really get that. I don’t think children ever really do until they’re putting those shoes on themselves. Mom is always mom. If the whole family is sick and she’s sick too, it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t get a day off. She takes care of everyone else. And for the rest of her life, that’s her role. Taking care of everyone else. Too often children forget that she’s hurting too. That she needs to be taken care of. That she needs someone to say, “Are you ok mom?” Despite the disagreements, I would give anything to have my mom today. To hold her. To tell her how much I love her. To apologize for being selfish and not calling enough. To show her I understand now. This Thanksgiving I am thankful for so many things. Blessings beyond measure. And I’m thankful for my mom and dad. I hope they always knew that. If they were alive today, I’d make sure I told them again and again. Whatever your family dynamic is, pick up that phone and call your parents. Go visit them. Ask them how they’re doing. Tell them how much you love them. Try to see life from their eyes and how hard it can be at times. Ask God to show you their perspective before it’s too late. Both years I lost my parents I faced the toughest Thanksgivings ever. Mom passed in November and dad in October. That’s an ache that no one understands unless you’ve gone through it yourself. I know of sweet mamas going through cancer treatments, sweet moms who lost their husbands recently, sweet moms who are all alone week after week after week. Sweet moms who haven’t heard from their children. I’m not going to tell you all the reasons you should be grateful this Thanksgiving. I know God tells us “In everything give thanks”, but I also understand heartache. I will forever cling to the knowledge that Jesus wept. What a comfort~God understands too. Instead, I’m going to remind you that when you are hurting, your mom is hurting. Sometimes, SO much more. You have an opportunity today to give your parents a gift. This Thanksgiving weekend, call your mom. Call your dad. Give your parents the gift of Thanksgiving. Oh if you only knew how much of a difference it would make in their lives and how much it would touch their hearts. You might not understand today but, one day you will and you will wish for today again. Make sure it’s a memory you’re grateful for and not one you will regret. Scripture Reading: I Timothy 5:4 Exodus 20:12 Deuteronomy 5:16 Proverbs 1:8 Psalm 133:1 Proverbs 10:1 Proverbs 23:22,25 I Corinthians 13:4-8,13 Luke 6:32 I Peter 4:8
11/18/2022
Not My StoryMy son’s birthday is this week.
What do I want for my son? A child. More than anything, a child. My heart longs for it desperately for him. I thought it was my story to tell when I got pregnant with my son by mistake. I thought it was my story to tell when the doctor told us he would have birth defects and abortion was a recommendation. I thought it was my story to tell when we said “absolutely not.” I thought it was my story to tell when he had a fibral seizure and lost his hearing. I thought it was my story to tell when I watched him walk to school every day and he would wave at me the entire time, until he was no longer in sight. I thought it was my story when I watched his tenderness with his sisters, with children and with babies and couldn’t wait to see the day that he would become a daddy. A wonderful, compassionate, selfless daddy. I thought it was my story to tell when he slowly grew away from God. I thought it was my story to tell when I prayed for him to return. I thought it was my story to tell when he surrendered to God’s call. When I prayed for the woman God would have for him. The woman who would love God and my son with her everything. And God answered. I thought it was my story to tell when I saw the love she had for children and babies and I knew that one day she would be a wonderful, compassionate, selfless mama. And I thought it was my story to tell you today that she isn’t, because they have not conceived despite the years of trying. Despite the tears. Despite the prayers. It is an unanswered request. My story wasn’t really my story after all. One day it became my son’s story as he stood behind a pulpit and shared the journey his life took. The road that led him to today. The steps that God directed to this very place in time. The ache inside my soul for my son and daughter cannot be compared to the empty ache they feel. It is a loneliness and a longing that cannot be described. It is a “hard” a mama never wants to see her child experience. And yet, if ever that cliche quote were true, it is true of them~ “My story for His glory”. I know that God has a purpose. His timing is perfect. There is a reason. We do not know what the future holds, only God does. I never imagined a future for my son that didn’t include children. It crushes my heart to even pen the words. It’s a future I do not want to face. It’s a future I have to give to God daily, some days minute by minute. But it isn’t my story to tell. And today I realize, it’s not even my son’s story to tell. It’s God’s story. Today I can only tell you my chapter of that story. My son and daughter will continue it and in my heart I want to believe that perhaps one day, miraculously they will repeat it to their child and their child will continue to tell it. And in the telling, hurting hearts will be healed. I might not ever know the end of the story, but I’m so thankful God does. Whatever that ending might be, I know it will be good and wonderful and miraculous. It has never been about me. It’s not even about us. It’s about God. Future generations being brought to a Savior who loves them beyond any human love a mother or father could ever give. A hope for the hurting. Those future generations might not ever hold our namesake, but they can hold God’s, if we just continue to share His story. A story for His glory. Scripture Reading: “One generation shall praise thy works to another, And shall declare thy mighty acts. I will speak of the glorious honour of thy majesty, And of thy wondrous works. And men shall speak of the might. And I will declare thy greatness. They shall abundantly utter the memory of thy great goodness, And shall sing of thy righteousness. The LORD is good to all: And his tender mercies are over all his works. They shall speak of the glory of thy kingdom, And talk of thy power; To make known to the sons of men his mighty acts, And the glorious majesty of his kingdom. Thy kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, And thy dominion endureth throughout all generations. The LORD upholdeth all that fall, And raiseth up all those that be bowed down.” Psalm 145:4-7, 9, 11-14 “For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; And his truth endureth to all generations.” Psalm 100:5 “This shall be written for the generation to come: And the people which shall be created shall praise the LORD.” Psalm 102:18 “Which we have heard and known, And our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come, The praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. That the generation to come might know them, Even the children which should be born; Who should arise And declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments:” Psalm 78:3-4, 6-7 “Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come”. Psalm 71:18 “Nevertheless he saved them for his name's sake, That he might make his mighty power to be known.” Psalm 106:8
11/11/2022
All About MeI was a somewhat self centered new bride. Thirty seven years later, and I still am at times. Everything all about me. It’s something I’m constantly working on. When we were newlyweds, we came up with our own little life plan. We were going to wait to have kids, spend a few years getting to know each other better and then start a family. Two months later I was pregnant. I was 20 years old. Funny, with my first pregnancy it was all about the experience for me. (I blame it on my immaturity😂) The cute clothes, the big announcement, the first grandchild, the family excitement. The idea of being pregnant was so magical. Until reality hit. I didn’t just have morning sickness, I had 24/7 sickness. Anytime, anywhere. When it hit, it hit hard. It was no respecter of time or place. And suddenly, it was no longer about that little baby growing inside of me. It was all about me. I whined. I complained. I cried. I pouted. I felt sorry for myself. I forgot about the “why” because I was so focused on me. But when my precious little child was born, everything changed. All the sickness of pregnancy and pain of childbirth was wrapped up in a tiny baby and when that gift was given to me, it was beyond good. She was my miracle. Her birthday is next week. She continues to teach me what selfless truly means. She is one of the most selfless people I know. Looking back I realize, if I had taken my eyes off of Charisse and focused on the miracle inside me, things could have been so different. I’m not trying to say that I miraculously would have avoided morning sickness, but a different outlook could have changed my life, and the lives of those around me. We are human. It’s easy to let the “what about me” feelings seep in and control us. It’s natural to want others to feel sorry for us when life is hard, to want a little compassion and even empathy. Life is hard. For some, unbearably hard. But even in the unbearable, we are not alone. There is a Miracle living inside us and His name is Jesus. From the beginning of time He has promised that He will always be with us and will never leave us comfortless. Some of us might be so focused on ourselves that we completely miss God’s “why”. Others might not ever know the “why” of their suffering until they are home in heaven one day. In either case, we can choose to glorify our Savior if we will learn to continually fix our eyes on Him. Sometimes we forget that. We take our eyes off the Miracle and focus on ourselves. My first little miracle’s name is Jessica. When she was born, everything changed. The miracle of all mankind’s name is Jesus. The season of His birth is fast approaching. He is our Wonderful, our Counselor, our Prince of peace. He is our Comforter and Sustainer. All our pain, all our sin and all our suffering was wrapped up in a precious little baby Who took it upon Himself when He died on the cross. When He was born, all of mankind was given the greatest gift of all. Everything changed. Our past, our present, our future. Our eternity. All the pain and all the “hard” that we might be going through will one day produce our own miracle. I know this to be true because God promises me that whatever I face is for my good, and I trust Him. I’m not trying to convince you that the hard will miraculously go away if we take our eyes off of ourselves and place them on our Savior, but I am saying that our lives will look a whole lot different if we do. And the lives of those around you will be better for it. Focus on the Miracle inside you. Focus on the miracle of Jesus. SCRIPTURE READING Hebrews 12:1-2 Galatians 2:20 Ephesians 3:16-21 2 Corinthians 13:4-5 Isaiah 9:6-7 John 14:18-20 John 3:16 Romans 8:28, 38-39 Isaiah 41:10-13 1 Peter 5:7 Hebrews 13:5-6
11/4/2022
A Good CryI’m such a baby.
My husband had his knee replaced on Monday. He came home Monday night. Yes, that’s quick. Too quick. Since he did so great with his shoulder replacement in July, we thought we knew what to expect. We were wrong. His first day home he overdid the exercises and didn’t take his prescribed pain medication. Tuesday the pain and swelling set in. By Tuesday evening the tears were rolling down my cheeks as I changed his bandages and heard him cry out in pain. Lessons learned for the next knee, scheduled in December. Wednesday as I sat with him in Physical therapy and watched his face riddled with pain again, I fought back the tears and had this little conversation inside my head~ “Charisse. Get a hold of yourself. Be strong. You look ridiculous crying over this.” I thought about that a lot today. Me being a big baby. How ridiculous I looked crying over my husband’s pain, how ridiculous I look when I cry about a lot of things… but then I had a little God moment epiphany~ Who says? Who says it’s ridiculous to cry? Who has the right to say it is weak to weep when we see loved ones in pain or even when we are experiencing heartache of our own? God doesn’t. Man does. Man’s words are continually ingrained into us~ Be strong. Other people are going through much worse. Look at all your blessings, you have no right to cry. Don’t show your vulnerabilities. Don’t be weak. And yet, the majority of the time it’s all a facade. We are weak. We are human. Tears flow. And guess what? God is okay with that because in our weakness we find His strength. God really opened my eyes to that fact in my bible reading this week. I read the story of a woman who was barren. It touched me deeply. My own child is experiencing this anguish and it is a rollercoaster of emotions. Hard doesn’t come close to describing it. Prayers have been poured out. Tears have been shed. An answer has not come. As I read God’s words to me about the story of Hannah, several things were brought to my attention. Hannah was never reprimanded by God for crying. Hannah cried because of how she was treated by another woman. She cried because her prayers weren’t answered. She cried because her heart was broken. She had bitterness of soul and wept. Even the man of God judged her. God did not. There is power in her story. The hard hit home this week. My husband endured excruciating pain. A sweet friend had breast cancer surgery and another dear friend found out she has pancreatic cancer. There is heartache all around us. Life can be so cruel, but oh how powerful our great God is. He will help us walk through the unthinkable and from our pain He will produce miracles. Others may judge us because of our tears, but God does not. God does not diminish the pain we feel. He does not categorize our tears. He keeps every one of them. He tells us to cast ALL our cares on Him. Not just the big cares, ALL the cares. He understands. God offers grace. He offers tenderness. He offers miracles. As I got my dad’s old walker out of the backseat of our car and helped my husband into another therapy session yesterday, the emotions were all there. Memories came rushing in of doing the same thing for my dad at countless doctor appointments. It was also the anniversary of my mom’s home going. In that brief moment I wanted to yell at the world~”I’m tired of trying to be strong!!!” But then I recalled the words of a dear friend, beautifully reminding us all not to quit. Hannah never quit. Though she had tears, she kept on praying to God for her miracle. And so, I watched my husband take one tiny step after another and I thanked God through the tears. I know God’s working miracles, but I also know He thinks it’s okay if I cry through the process. I will give the hard to Him again and again, day after day because my yoke might be heavy but when I give that yoke to Him, my burdens become light. I may not see the answers I’m looking for and I might cry like a baby, but this one thing I am confident of~He will hold me through it all and allow me to let the tears fall with no judgement. He will whisper to my soul~ It’s okay Charisse, have a good cry. Miracles are coming. SCRIPTURE READING: 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 Philippians 1:6 Matthew 11:28-30 I Peter 5:7 Psalm 34:17-19, 56:8-9, 147:3-5 Hebrews 4:15-16 I Samuel 1 Isaiah 40:28-29, 43:2 John 16:33
10/28/2022
What Love Looks LikeCan you take out the trash? Can you go to the store? Can you fix the sink? Can you put gas in the car? Can you rub my back? Can you read my mind,
know why I’m in a bad mood without me telling you, be romantic and meet my every need~ while also allowing me to take out every frustration on you? Christmas movies are coming back in full swing. I’ve seen the commercials. I’ve heard the comments. “Same story, different town”. This week I reflected on my own Christmas movie moment 38 years ago. All the mushy feelings portrayed in those commercials, I was feeling that Christmas. And then I thought about today… Each person’s love story is unique to them, but I think the one thing most of us can agree on is that it started out just like everyone else’s. Falling madly in love. Despite the pressures and responsibilities, despite all the stress life could throw at you, you fell in love. You thought about that person constantly. You made time for each other and life seemed to melt away when you were together. Today, 38 years later I realize too often that when life throws the “bad” at me, I take it out on my husband. I either want him to fix it, or I want to rehash all my frustrations without him giving me a practical solution. I just want to whine. And through it all I’m yelling “I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at the situation!!!” This can be very confusing for the poor guy. Sure seems like I’m mad at the world, husband included. I find that I look to him as a resource instead of a relationship. I take his love for granted. I reread one of my own posts this week that asked the question~ “Are you treating your connection to God like a resource instead of a relationship?” When I first posted it, I honestly thought~ Nope! Not me! So God did something a little different to open my eyes. He showed me all the ways I treat my connection to my husband like a resource instead of a relationship. Once He did that, I realized I was doing the same things with God. My mutterings are too often “Please, please, please” and not enough “thank you” or even just sitting still in His presence and loving just being with my Savior. Too often I want happiness, peace, comfort, love and answers to all my prayers~ instead of just God. I take His love for granted. Here is the great takeaway though~ God actually WANTS to do all those things for us because THAT’S WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE. And then I thought of all the things I’m constantly asking of Mike and without complaint, he does them. Because that’s what love looks like. And so, I determined to refocus on my relationship with my husband and with my Savior. I want to pour my heart and soul into those relationships. I want to remember all those feelings I had for Mike 38 years ago when life never got in the way. There is nothing wrong with asking God to help us love more. To love our spouses more, to love God more. The very first fruit of His Spirit is love. So, this morning before I got out of bed I asked God to show me that love in Who He is. To help me not to just go to Him for “all the things”, but to have a real relationship with Him. I opened my bedroom curtains to a breathtaking sunrise. It painted the entire sky with it’s beauty. It made me realize that God is ALWAYS showing me that love in Who He is, I’m just too busy with Charisse to notice. We should be one with our spouses, just as we should be one with God. He is in us and for us. He holds our hands and loves us through everything. As the years pass, let’s not all end up with “same story, different town” in our relationships. Let’s not be so busy focusing on ourselves that we fail to notice the many ways our spouses show us they love us on a daily basis. Let’s bring on the romance when we’re in our 80’s. Let’s love on our spouses just because. Let’s remember all those mushy feelings we had. And let’s not allow our relationship with God to become a resource only. Let’s think on Him constantly. Let’s allow life to melt away when we’re in His presence, let’s notice the many ways God shows us His love on a daily basis. It’s evident in every single thing your eye can behold. A love so great that all the books in the world could not contain the countless ways He loves us. Let’s sit at His feet and adore Him. Because that’s what love looks like. Scripture Reading: Luke 17:12-19, John 21:25, Romans 1:20-21, Psalm 19:1-2, Matthew 22:37-40 *Thats the view from my bedroom window ❤️
10/21/2022
What If Snowflakes Were Chocolate Chips?What if snowflakes were chocolate chips?
It was probably a day much like today. The fall of 1976. My husband was in the 9th grade when he sprained his neck during a gym class game of tackle football. And so, he was home from school~ alone, bored and unhappy. He knew where his mom hid the chocolate chips, so he made his way into the kitchen to sneak some before she got home. Wearing a neck brace made things a little tricky but he was sure he could pull it off. Due to his injury, the pain was too intense to turn his head or even bend over. With outstretched arms and bag in hand, he slowly poured some out only to have them spill all over the kitchen floor. A floor with black and white tiles. He found himself in a predicament. He could not look down. The best thing to do would be to back up, look at where the chocolate chips had fallen and then try to go to that spot to retrieve them. Each time he backed up and looked he was able to gather more, until he could no longer see any chocolate chips. Feeling quite proud of himself, he had no worries when his mom got home. Until she walked into the kitchen. “I see you got into the chocolate chips Michael”… He didn’t take into account that from far away, the black tiles made the chocolate disappear. This morning while I was reading God’s word, I couldn’t help but think of that story. One verse in particular stood out to me~ “He casteth forth His ice like MORSELS: Who can stand before His cold?” Psalm 147: 17. I don’t know why, but immediately my mind went to Nestle Toll House Morsels. Bear with me, I’m not trying to rewrite God’s word, it just really got me thinking about how we view our lives and what the lesson was in such a crazy concept~ What if snowflakes were chocolate chips? We don’t see the big picture the way God does, we only have a partial view. We pray and want answers immediately. We complain about our circumstances. We look for joy in things, instead of Jesus. We think that if our circumstances were different or if we could have that ONE thing, life would be better and we would find that happiness that’s missing. And when we fall prey to that line of thinking, we neglect to remember EVERYTHING God has already blessed us with. We dismiss His tremendous love, understanding and care for us. Psalm 147 brings out some amazing truths that we need to be reminded of. The entire chapter speaks of God’s glory and power. ~v.3 He heals the broken hearted (crushed or hurt feelings). ~v.5 His understanding is beyond measure. ~v.6 He lifts (encompasses and restores) up the meek (depressed in mind or circumstances). ~v. 11 He takes pleasure in those who hope (patiently wait and trust) in His mercy (kindness). And this is just a tiny handful of the abundant sweetness God blesses us with. Blessings that we often forget. Back to my snowflake analogy. Think about all the petty things we complain about. Winter is right around the corner, and I’ve already heard several disdainful comments about the impending snow. We complain so often about the things we don’t like, myself included. Here is something I would like us to ask ourselves: Do we honestly think God is just sitting up in heaven laughing and saying “I know how to make them miserable, I’ll give them a snow storm!”? It sounds ridiculous to say that out loud, but when we complain about the things in our lives we aren’t happy about, we’re pretty much placing God on a human level and blaming Him for it. We don’t see the big picture because we aren’t God. God has a reason for the snow just as much as He does for the wind and for the rain, for the sunshine and for the clouds. (Psalm 147) What if we looked at life differently, knowing that God put’s everything in our lives for a reason and trusting Him with that reason? What if we viewed snow with the same pleasure we view chocolate chips? When my husband spilled all those chocolate chips many years ago, he was trying to make a bad situation better by doing something that he shouldn’t have been doing. When he backed up, he didn’t see the goodness that was hiding in the dark areas, he only viewed the light. His brace was hindering him. Maybe if he had taken more time and looked more closely he could have seen the big picture the way his mom did, and things would have turned out differently (He probably would have enjoyed a lot more chocolate chips). What is hindering our view today? Sometimes we’re put into circumstances that make it hard to see or trust in God’s plan. We feel so far from God and like those black tiles, dark circumstances can make our previous blessings disappear. On the other hand, maybe some of us have simply become a complaining, petty people. Complaining won’t make a bad situation better, it will only make it worse. Whatever the case, perhaps it’s time we decide to step back and try to see the big picture by reminding ourselves of all the amazing ways God blessed us with goodness, even in the moments that seemed so dark. To back up and see where all the chocolate chips in our life have fallen. To go back to that time and retrieve the thankfulness that’s missing. We don’t see things the way God does, but if we patiently wait and trust in His kindness and steadfast love, the more we back up and look, the more we will see. All the times He has healed our brokenness. All the times He understood our pain. All the times He held us close during the most painful circumstances. And not just a tiny handful of love, but ALL the love He has poured into us~ Every single moment of every single day. The more we see, the more joy we have and the more grateful we become. Our view has to change. How different our lives will be when all our snowflakes become sweet chocolate chips.
10/14/2022
I Am A WomanWhat is a woman?
I am a woman. When I was a little girl, I never would have imagined that the use of that phrase could possibly cause controversy. I am a woman. I am incredibly thankful I am a woman. Not because I am better than a man. Not because I want to shove that sentence in someone’s face. I am thankful because that is who God made me to be~ and I embrace it. Through various movements of the last century, women have been inundated with two requisites. The first~Women are powerful. The second~Just being a woman isn’t enough. We need to “be more” and “do more” so that we can prove we “are more”. The world is constantly screaming “more” in the face of femininity. The concept contradicts itself. I have nothing to prove. I am a woman. Femininity has gone through all the stages. From the genuine love of being a homemaker to~ “I am equal to and even better than man”, to “there is no such thing as a woman”. Wives, mothers and homemakers have been made to feel less than, looked down upon and even ignorant. Definitely not powerful. This morning as I prayed, my own mother came to mind. I pictured her doing “all the things”. Her arm halfway in a turkey on Thanksgiving morning. The ironing board out every Tuesday and the vacuum and mop every Friday. The home cooked meals, the date nights with my dad, the stories read to me before I went to bed each night. She loved every minute of it. I loved every minute of it. And I wept. Not because my mom was weak, brainwashed by society at the time, or even ignorant~ But because my mom was powerful. She gave me the precious gift of a childhood that kids only dream of. She instilled in me a deep gratitude and love of everyday life, the feeling of comfort, security and love. The desire to pass that on to everyone I meet. She had an impact on my life in a thousand different ways. An impact that enables me to say today~ I am blessed to be a woman. I am blessed to be a wife. I am blessed to be a mother. Over and over in scripture God gives us examples of powerful women. Today I read about two. One was a judge. One was a housewife. God used BOTH for His glory. His power was evident in the soft hand of a woman. Woman and man. Male and female. I am a woman. Any earthly accomplishments or possessions I have at the end of this life will only be wood hay and stubble. I cannot take my accomplishments and possessions with me when I die. But oh the power in spreading light through darkness, kindness instead of hatred, finding joy in every moment, loving your husband and raising little souls for God’s kingdom. Little souls that will impact the world for a future we may never see. Souls that can share the light of Jesus. A light that this dark world desperately needs. There is power in that. It doesn’t come from the reserve of an accomplished female who checks off all the boxes this world deems necessary to claim the pronoun “she” today. The power comes from Christ within us. And with that power we can change the world. I am a woman. If I choose, I will dance around the house in my skirts and high heels. I will cook meals and bake goodies with my grandchildren. I will clean my home and be thankful for the million little things God blesses me with on a daily basis. I will love on my husband. I will minister to other women, write blog posts, share God’s word, comfort and love in only a way a woman can do. I will be powerful and I will pass that power of Christ on to the next generation. I will embrace womanhood and shout it from the rooftops, with absolutely no shame. I don’t have to choose my pronoun because God has chosen it for me from the beginning of time. I am a woman, And I praise God for it. SCRIPTURE READING: John 15:16 Jeremiah 1:5 Romans 8:4 Psalms 139:13-18 Judges 4
10/8/2022
I Am A LiarI don’t know when it started, but I became quite the little liar when I was a child. I suppose all children go through some stage of lying, but today I’m faced with the reality that I never really grew out of it. Up until one particular day, I found I could lie my way out of anything and get away with it. I asked my mom if I could play outside with my friend. It was summer. I was five. She told me that I could, but not until I cleaned my room. I definitely did NOT want to clean my room. I’m sure I did a lot of complaining because I just wanted to be happy and have fun. I remember this next part like it was yesterday. She said: “and you better not shove it all in your closet or under your bed.” Within minutes I called downstairs to let her know I was finished so she could come up to check. “Wow”, she said as she looked around, “you did such a good job.”And then she asked~ “You didn’t shove it all in your closet or under your bed, did you?” To this day, I don’t know what my little five year old brain was thinking, because I looked her straight in the eye, nodded, smiled and said~ “no mama, I cleaned it all”. And then she opened the closet door. I had tried to make it look good on the outside so I could get what I wanted on the inside. Today as I searched my heart, I realized that I continue to do this. I want my life to be happy and fun~ and I want to tag Jesus on to all of it. So I do “all the things”. All the outward things “for His glory”, but the more I do for “His glory”, the less time I spend with Him. And yet, I want Him to bless it all. This blog included. What was I thinking? I can nod and smile and say “it’s all good”, but I know it isn’t. Too much good robs me of the best. Today, God opened the door of my heart and everything came tumbling out. Bible study books, Sunday School lessons, Children’s Ministry material, Ladies Book ministries, the search for awesome quotes to post on my Holding Hope page and the search for the best words to write for this blog... They all came tumbling out, and along with them came fatigue and comparison, depression and questioning, complaining and defeat. And there on the dresser sat my Bible. The one needful thing. Doing all the outward things doesn’t make God love us more. Doing “all the things” doesn’t guarantee us a happy, blessed, fun Christian life or gain us brownie points with God. Sometimes satan uses our busyness to distract us from the one needful thing and then he labels it “ministry.” I fell into this mindset once again and realized I was lying to myself and to others, but more importantly~ to God. And all along He knew. I almost quit my blog and Facebook page this week. I looked at the numbers, the likes, the shares, the views and decided God wasn’t blessing it anymore. I looked at the numbers instead of my heart. So, I searched and prayed and opened my Bible and then I prayed some more. And just like He always does, God answered. Whenever I get writer’s block and discouragement over my blog hits me hard, I realize it’s because I am not doing that one needful thing. Looking to Jesus. Opening every door, letting it all tumble out and asking Him for guidance in cleaning it up. He always does. And then He gives me the words to pen. And He shows me, they aren’t for the reader, they are for me. Because they are the EXACT words I need to hear from Him. I didn’t get to play outside that summer day so long ago. But my mom helped me by guiding and instructing me on how to actually clean my room the right way. And I got to spend an afternoon with my mama that I will never forget. Even at five, she instilled something in me that has lasted 52 years. God knows what we’re hiding that needs to come tumbling out. Quit leaning against that door and let God open it. He’s been knocking, but sometimes we’re just too busy to hear. Give it all to Him and ask for His guidance. Every day He will instill something new in your heart that will change you~ Just by spending time with Him. There isn’t a ministry book or blog, a Facebook page or podcast (all the “fruit” that’s supposed to make us wise) that can replace time spent with God and His steadfast love. Don’t let satan deceive you. (Genesis 3:5-6) Trying to look good on the outside won’t give you what your soul needs on the inside. Do the one needful thing. Todays scripture reading: Luke 10:42 Genesis 3:5-6 Psalm 107 Psalm 108:1-7, 12&13 Psalm 109:4, 21&22, 26&27, 30. Luke 11:9-13
9/30/2022
God’s PathsAs a child, my family traveled down south for vacation one year and I distinctly remember thinking that I would never live in Ohio~
especially not the Toledo area… (I’m sorry all you Buckeye fans) Well, you know the old saying~ If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans. Only a few years into our marriage we had moved from Rochester, MI to Stratford, CT and then… you guessed it~ Toledo, Ohio. “In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths”. Proverbs 3:5-6 I never saw our path leading us there, but God did, and I’m so glad that we asked for His wisdom and guidance. I’m so glad that we stepped out in faith and trusted Him~because it changed my life. Three short years made up a lifetime of happy memories. Three short years that God used to prepare my heart for the future in ways I never would have imagined. *Sweet, precious, life long friendships were forged. *We grew close to our teen group and continually prayed for them, even after moving away. Today we are so blessed to see answers to prayer in the godly adults and parents many of them have become. *My faith grew tremendously through the trials of sick babies. *When my husband had to work out of state five days a week, I realized how often I had taken him for granted. Our marriage grew even stronger. *After many dormant years, I was somewhat forced to take up my piano playing again. I now play for our church every Sunday. *For a brief moment in time, my children attended a Christian school in the area. Today, many years later and many, many miles away~two of my children are married to spouses who attended that very same school. Not only that, but while my nephew was living with us he also met and married a young lady from the same school. *I learned the incredible beauty of a grateful heart. Through the heartbreaking tears of goodbye and an unknown future ahead, God eventually led us here, to our church family in Caseville. My husband has been the pastor here for 28 years. Too often we go about our days without truly asking God to direct our paths. Our days are monotonous. In our human minds, our daily, mundane activities don’t seem important to His kingdom. We don’t think of our normal “everyday” as big things for God. Unless something is going wrong within our routine, we don’t always factor God into the equation. But, when we choose to ask God to direct our paths and our steps, He delights in us and leads us to places we might not have ever experienced without that acknowledgement. Do you know how much easier your life becomes when you give God your days the moment you step out of bed? When you pray and ask God to order your steps and direct your paths, and then you trust Him to do just that? You begin to realize that everything that happens throughout your day was orchestrated and directed by Him, even if it wasn’t what you planned. Your faith grows. And when your little, everyday plans, or your really big, (sometimes life changing) plans are disrupted~ it’s so much easier to trust God, because you know in your heart that you have given your days to Him and asked Him to direct your paths. Psalm 32:8 Paths that will take you along the banks of green pastures and still waters. Paths of life and joy. Paths of peace that passes understanding and unexpected comfort. Beautiful opportunities to serve God and blessings that might have been missed had we not asked Him for direction. Paths that lead to our future and answers to prayer that will affect generations to come. Psalm 16:11, 25:4-5, 37:23, 61:2, 78:6-7 & 72, 86:11, 119:105, Proverbs 3:5-6, 16:9, John 14:26 & 16:13, Isaiah 30:21, 48:17 & 58:11, Matthew 7:7-11, Philippians 4:7. Every moment is big to God. Every moment can glorify Him. Every step~ whether that step is in a workplace or inside the four walls of your home~ every single step can change your heart and your life. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths~even if that path isn’t going in the direction you want, or think is best. Trust me on this one. God’s paths will always lead to the very best. Take that step of faith today. Psalm 23
9/23/2022
Taste And SeeWe took our grandsons to Dairy Queen last Sunday evening. My two older grandsons asked if they could share a banana split. I wasn’t sure they understood how large a banana split was, but they assured me they knew, and it wouldn’t be a problem.
They are 9 and 6. We were in the drive through. Our plan was to go around the corner to our break wall and watch the sun set over the water as we ate our treats. I explained to Gabe (the younger of the two) that while we were still in the car I was going to have Ethan hold the sundae until they were able to sit together on the bench to share. I expected a bit of arguing or even the very familiar words “that’s not fair”. To my complete surprise, neither were spoken. Gabe turned to Ethan and in the sweetest, most precious and sincere voice he asked~ ”Could I just look at it Ethan?” That right there melted my heart. His sweet sincerity brought tears to my eyes. I often read devotionals written for moms of young children on how to cope with the overwhelming moments. I remember those moments. I understand. The response of older moms is almost always an encouraging word to cherish that time because it’s over so quickly. But I rarely read about the “hard” of being a mom of adults~ When your adult children have walked away from God. When your adult children are all fighting. When your children are going through horrendous heartache. When their faith is being tried and their prayers aren’t being answered. When your children are all struggling in different areas and pouring their hearts out to you, but not wanting the other siblings to know. When your children don’t want you in their life anymore. Gone are the days that you can lovingly remind them to get back on God’s path when they have misbehaved~ and through tears they agree. Gone are the days when you can send them all to their rooms for fighting, and suddenly they’re giggling and playing like it never happened. Gone are the days that you can rock them as they snuggle in your arms and you tell them everything will be ok, and they believe you. Gone are the days when you are their everything. You pray and you worry and you wonder. How did things change so quickly? And you watch as each day passes. You find yourself wondering if things will ever be ok. And you want to hold those beautiful days again. The days you believed were overwhelming at the time. You understand now why older moms always told you to cherish that time. And then one day things do change, but not in the way you expected. Through his tears of heartache you hear your son telling you~ “everything is going to be okay mom”, because he truly believes that his unanswered prayers are “for his good and God’s glory”. And you are in awe, because your own heart saw the hurt he was experiencing. Your own heart could not see the good. His sweet sincerity brings tears to your own eyes. Not only has God allowed you to just look at His goodness and beauty. He has allowed you to taste it. “O taste and see that the LORD is good: Blessed is the man that trusteth in him.” Psalm 34:8 Just moments after my grandsons started in on their banana split, I heard them exclaim~this is the best thing I’ve ever tasted” Not once, not twice, but the entire time they ate until the bowl was completely empty. Oh how often we as moms can ask God if He would just allow us to look and see some semblance of an answer to our prayers for our children and their future. Could we just look and see and know everything will be ok? And then, sometimes without us even realizing, He does. He shows us. We not only look upon it, but we get to taste of His beauty. Some days a taste of Gods goodness might be right around the corner. Other days it might feel like you’ve been looking at the truth of His words about your children, but have yet to taste of it. And the road seems long. When it comes to your adult children, you might find yourself overwhelmed, heartbroken or even arguing with God. You might find yourself crying that it isn’t fair. This wasn’t your dream as you held that child so close to your heart and rocked them to sleep. But you can still choose to believe in the goodness God has to offer, even though you have yet to taste it. You can choose to open His word and partake in His promises. To trust in a beautiful future ahead and truly believe that you will one day say~ this is the best thing ever. As you whisper through tears~ “can I just look at it God?” He hears the sincere prayers that come from your heart. Taste and see ❤️ SCRIPTURE REFERENCES: “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:18, 28 “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, Neither have entered into the heart of man, The things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9 “casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 “From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, When my heart is overwhelmed: Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou, O God, hast heard my vows: Thou hast given me the heritage of those that fear thy name.” Psalm 61:2, 5 “I will praise thee for ever, because thou hast done it: And I will wait on thy name; for it is good before thy saints.” Psalm 52:9 “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, And delivered me from all my fears. This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him, And saved him out of all his troubles. O taste and see that the LORD is good: Blessed is the man that trusteth in him. The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, And delivereth them out of all their troubles. The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; And saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: But the LORD delivereth him out of them all.” Psalm 34:4, 6, 8, 17-19 “And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us: And establish thou the work of our hands upon us; Yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.” Psalm 90:17
9/16/2022
A Fall Bucket ListOur first day of Fall arrives this week.
For many, Fall is a welcome guest. Bring on the football games and sweater weather, hot cocoa and cider, changing leaves and cozy feels~ all wrapped up in blankets and pumpkin spice. For others, Fall brings with it loneliness, darkness, isolation and depression. It is an unwanted guest. Until recently, I never realized how many view the arrival of Fall like a dark storm cloud moving in, covering up all the beautiful sun of lazy summer days and long summer evenings. And it’s hard. Our mind is a powerful tool. It can make us believe things can’t or won’t get better. As the days become shorter and shorter it can convince you that you will never climb out of the darkness that lies ahead. You know what’s more powerful than our mind? The mind of Christ.(Philippians 2:5-11) The Holy Spirit within us. (John 14:26) The power of God. (Ephesians 6:10-11) Satan knows that we are supposed to shine the light of Christ into the darkness of our world, so he convinces us that there is no light to shine. That life will not and cannot get better. Don’t give up! Don’t give in to those thoughts! This is not truth! God’s words are truth! (Hebrews 4:12) And so~ with God’s help, I want to help each of us to renew our minds this Fall. Fall Bucket Lists seem to be all the rage. Just type those words into Google or the Pinterest search bar and you will find a myriad of ideas. For some the lists are full of fun, Fall activities. For others they are only a reminder of their loneliness. You are never alone because God is in you and for you. (Isaiah 41:10, Joshua 1:9, Deuteronomy 31:6 & 8, Romans 8:38-39, Zephaniah 3:17, Psalm 23:4, 46:1, 1 Peter 5:7) With that in mind, I have come up with a Fall Bucket List to help each of us to renew our minds in Christ. (Romans 12:2) To change our perspective. To grab a hold of that power and to learn to enjoy Fall in all its glory. And for those of us who love Fall, maybe this list will be a good reminder that the changing seasons aren’t all about us and how many fun activities we can pack in. A gentle reminder that everything we do~whether we eat or drink or watch football games under cozy blankets~ everything is for God’s glory. (1 Corinthians 10:31) Perhaps God wants us to notice a little more, notice the ones who aren’t smiling. Notice the lonely. Notice the sad and broken and help make their lives a little brighter. (Galatians 5:13-14) As the days get shorter and shorter, don’t allow all your fun activities to overshadow and don’t allow the darkness to overcome. Be the light. You might truly believe you can’t, and that’s ok because you don’t have to. Christ’s power within you will overcome that darkness. (Philippians 4:13, 2 Corinthians 12:9, 2 Timothy 1:7, Luke 1:37) And with the changing seasons, He can change your heart. With the dark, early evenings~ He can and will be your light~ so that you can be His light. (Psalm 27:1, 2 Corinthians 10:5) Turn up the lamp of God’s glory. Be the light~ His glorious light! Bible apps to listen to: https://dwellapp.io/+99H0 https://www.bible.com/app
9/9/2022
All Those Fall FeelingsMy mom’s birthday was Thursday. She died in 2003, but it seems like it was yesterday. October is also right around the corner, marking two years since my dad passed away. I haven’t come to the point where I’m able to take my dad’s contact information off of my phone. He died one month before my November birthday. My mom died one week before my birthday. Fall is one of my favorite times of the year, second only to Christmas~
but Fall brings all the feelings with it. I yearn for early cozy evenings by the fire, but I also yearn for mom and dad. Your life changes when you lose both of your parents. It’s like a part of you is missing. You almost feel like an orphan, no matter how old you are. You might have family all around you, yet you still feel very alone at times. And so, I have my dad still listed under “favorites” in my phone’s contacts. His cute picture with his new glasses, always smiling back at me. Sadly, I didn’t realize that after a year my phone would delete all my texts from my dad. One day they were just gone, just like he was. I was crushed. My phone also has an app called “find friends”. Anytime I get to worrying that my husband is running late and I’m wondering if he’s ok, I can look at that app and see exactly where he is. My dad is still listed on that app too, right under my husband. Every day my dad would check in with me. If he didn’t, before jumping to conclusions I would look to see if he was home or just busy running errands. Sometimes the phone will swirl and swirl, looking for a particular person. Every time it locates someone it will show you where they are on a map. As smart as my phone is, it can’t show me dad. It confesses~ “no location found”. Man, that gets me every time. I’ll admit, it brought tears for a long time. Sometimes it still does. But I know it holds no truth, because I know exactly where my dad is, and one day I will join him and my mom and so many loved ones there.* I Thessalonians 4:13-14 I will fall into the arms of my Savior and weep, letting go of all the grief I so readily push down into my pit of “I don’t want to think about this”. You might wonder how I can know. You might be asking yourself how you can know. How anyone can know with 100% assurance that heaven can be your eternal home? That the arms of the Savior will welcome you there? We can know because God’s word promises us exactly that.* Romans 10:9-10, I may have lost every word my dad sent me in a text, but we can never lose the words of God. They are eternal, just as He is.*Psalm 119:89 They are our promises to cling to through every trial we go through, and they promise that if we repent and ask Jesus to save our souls and give us a home in heaven with Him one day, He will.* 2 Corinthians 5:8 My mom and dad are with Jesus. As the air becomes crisp and cozy fires are lit, when pumpkin spice everything is everywhere, I find myself missing them a little more. As much as I miss them, I still have all the precious memories of Fall days that they left me with. The week before he died, my dad told me he was planning a birthday party for me. My tears smile at that remembrance. Fall might be hard for you. The early darkness that comes with the change of time, the cold temperatures and the seclusion can certainly get you down. You miss the sunshine. Missing your loved ones on top of that can make you ache inside. The good news is, this world is not our home and we are never truly alone. *Romans 8:38-39, I am not an orphan. I am a child of God. *John 1:12 You are a child of God. His words of comfort are always available. He always knows exactly where you are, because He is right there with you. He knows your thoughts, He knows your heart. He knows your aching and He knows your rejoicing.* Psalm 139, Philippians 4:6-7 We don’t have to wait until we get to heaven to fall into our Savior’s arms and let all our grief and sadness go. We don’t have to push it down into the pit of “I don’t want to think about this”. We can give it all to Him right now. In fact, He wants us to do exactly that.*Psalm 55:22, 1 Peter 5:7, Matthew 11:28-30, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, Psalm 23, 46:1-2 Whatever hard feelings Fall holds for you, with it’s falling leaves or falling snow, falling rain or… falling back into the darkness of daylight savings~ Remember these words and cling to them~ Fall into His arms. FALL into His arms.* Matthew 10:29-31 FALL into the arms of Jesus. What hope that holds and what comfort it gives~ because I know~ that’s exactly where my mom and dad are too. *John 16:33, Psalm 31:24
9/2/2022
I Don’t KnowThe older I get, the more I realize that wisdom comes with age and yet, I am not wise. I don’t have all the answers.* As a pastor’s wife, that can be hard. People come to you for answers. It’s hard to find yourself at a loss for words and admit~
”I don’t know.” I don’t know why beautiful, Godly souls have suffered tremendous loss, sometimes over and over again. I don’t know why precious wives with longing hearts plead with God for children year after year, yet remain barren. I don’t know why marriages crumble despite prayers to God for restoration. I don’t know why depression or anxiety can grip you for no apparent reason, and wake you from a sound sleep. I do know that if you typed any of these things into Google, you would have a myriad of answers, many from a biblical perspective. A sin cursed world is the obvious answer, but there isn’t a human being alive that can explain why heartache hits home for some~yet not for others. That answer is entrusted to God alone. God’s word tells us the comforting promise that everything we go through is for our good, but quite often it doesn’t feel good at all.* I have heard people say~ “just give it to God” or “God is in control, you just have to trust Him”.* Easier said than done. So many times I will read these things and all my heart can utter is~”how?” How do you just “give it to God”? Recently I have woken from a sound sleep in complete panic. That’s another hard thing for me to admit. I honestly have no idea why it is happening. I don’t feel like I’m stressed or anxious, yet it has happened more than once. My heart races and sleep doesn’t come again for hours. And so, I will pray and pray and ask God to take it all~ anything I’m holding on to. My marriage, my children, my ministry. Anything that might be causing this. Any control issues I am not aware of. Over and over~”I give it all to you God.” And yet, sleep eludes me still. Night after night I felt I was failing. I expected the anxiety to magically disappear when I gave it all to God. I felt like a disappointment to my Redeemer who loves me so much. I questioned whether I was truly surrendering everything to Him. What was I doing wrong? These uncomfortable moments are but a blip in time compared to the years of anguish and questions some sweet Christians go through. Questions with no answers. Today He reminded me of a beautiful truth. Out of nowhere a memory came to my mind of the many nights my children would have bad dreams when they were very little. Dreams that would wake them. Dreams that caused tears. Quite often they would either cry out for Mike and I, or come down to our bedroom crying. My mama heart was so incredibly tender toward them that the tears would swell up in my own eyes. They would snuggle in with us in bed, and eventually fall back asleep. Did I reprimand them or get angry with them if it happened again the next night or if the tears would not cease? No. I never did. My love was so great for them that my heart shared in their pain. Did my presence take away the bad dream? Did my words make it magically disappear? No, but my presence and my words brought them comfort. Knowing I was there next to them is what made the difference. And I think that’s the answer for us, even as adults. That unfathomable love I have for my children is nothing compared to the love God has for us. I don’t know why so many go through so much, but I do know that I can say without a shadow of a doubt that you will NEVER go through it alone.* God is always there. His words of comfort and strength are always available to us. Does that magically take the heartache many are enduring away? No. But what comfort it brings to a weary soul. We are never alone. I may wake up tonight with a grieving heart over missing my parents and loved ones. I may wake up tonight with a heavy heart for the things my children are going through, I may wake up tonight with a deeply sad heart, or a racing heart for no apparent reason, but I need not fear or be anxious or wonder if God is disappointed that it has happened once again. His grace washes over me like a sweet lullaby and His joy warms my heart like a cozy blanket. I need only snuggle in with Him and realize that He may not take this away, but He will never, ever leave my side as I deal with it. Whatever heartache, anxiety, unanswered prayer, devastation and loss you are experiencing~ you are not alone. Nightmares will never cease no matter our age, but you are His child and as little children we can cry out to our Father knowing He is closer than our very thoughts. Knowing that He shares in your pain, knowing that the bad dream won’t magically disappear but that we can snuggle into Him and He will hold us through it~* That knowledge is good. It is glorifying. That knowledge will make all the difference, and that is a comfort to cling to. *Psalm 131:1, Romans 8:18-23 & 28, Proverbs 3:5-6, Hebrews 13:5, Romans 8:38-39, Psalm 139:1-18,
8/26/2022
All That StuffI have a hard time getting rid of things. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a hoarder.
I have a very easy time throwing things away, a little too easy… 😂😂 Organizing and purging is a great past time of mine, but I’m also very sentimental. Today, one of my baskets caught my eye. There’s really nothing special about it, in fact it doesn’t even go with my decor anymore. But when I looked at that basket, a memory rushed through me. A memory of antique shopping with my mom and dad. My dad bought me that basket and in that split second I was transported to that time, as if I was watching a scene from a film of my life. I was able to relive that moment with my dad and it made me smile. I probably wouldn’t have thought about that specific moment in time if I didn’t have that basket. Things of no significance to others can spark magic in our hearts by striking the memory of a beautiful moment. There are times that I will be antiquing with my daughter and she will find something that brings her right back to her childhood and moments she shared with my mom. And her heart longs to own that piece that struck that memory. Quite often we are admonished as Christian’s to not care so much about stuff. About things. Because they’re only things. We can’t take them with us when we die. But I see so much more when I look at things. I can’t take them with me, but I can create happiness all around them that I will leave for my children and grandchildren. Happy moments they will remember and talk about. Memories that will make them smile. Just by looking at one thing. I don’t think God ever intended our lives to be stark and void of beauty. He intended our souls to be flooded with joy and happiness because that joy and happiness glorifies Him. All you have to do is look around you to realize this. There is so much beauty God has given us that we take for granted. He didn’t have to create such beauty in a sunset or a field of flowers. Such awe in a starlit sky or the sand upon the seashore, the green pastures and the still waters, the lilies and the sparrows, the secret place of thunder and the little hills that rejoice on every side. (Psalm 23, Luke 12:27, Matthew 10:29-31, Psalm 81:7, Psalm 65:12) When we recall these things in our mind’s eye, why do we smile? What purpose is in their beauty? Because God delights in joy. God delights in us and through that joy, He is glorified. (Proverbs 8:30-31, 11:20b, Psalm 18:19) His beautiful creation screams His majesty to the entire world and we are in awe. (Psalm 19:1, 104) Just as I am in awe of the simple basket at my feet. A basket that holds a precious memory beautifully wrapped inside. A gift from God that belongs exclusively to me. What a wonder to think upon. They may be wood hay and stubble but don’t feel shame for the joy these sentiments bring. Instead recognize that these tiny treasures of joy are gifts from God. We aren’t meant to worship the gift, but the Giver. I still have my mom’s old roaster, her big old frying pan, her Christmas dishes and candy jars. I have my dad’s glasses, the ones I helped him pick out just before he passed away. It makes me smile to think of how “spiffy” he felt in them. I cherish each one of these things, and so many more because when I look at them I am flooded with a thankful heart for the memories of happiness they evoke. They aren’t just stuff. They are beauty to me. They are gifts from God. They are treasures from heaven. Just as His creation, I will always find myself praising Him when I think on them. Find yourself praising God on a daily basis. Find your own basket and fill it with joy until it is overflowing. The more we recognize God’s amazing gifts all around us, the more we glorify Him and lay up treasures in heaven. Those things and those memories? When I think on them, I weep with the knowledge of how much God loves me. Moth and rust can never take that knowledge or those memories away. They are beautiful gifts from God that exemplify the meaning of glorifying through gratefulness. Gifts that we can leave for generations to come.
8/19/2022
This Is Your ReminderWhen my grandson was only 3, I wrote a blog post entitled~ “Before You Blink”.
I really wrote it as a reminder for my daughter, because I remembered. I warned her how quickly time goes by. To cherish every moment with her little one. I warned her not to blink. But then I blinked. Six years went by. Last week we took our 5 oldest grandchildren up north for a few days and on the way we stopped for lunch. The restaurant wasn’t particularly busy so when my 9 year old grandson asked if he could refill his drink all by himself, I allowed it. The other kids and I were in the play place as I watched this little man wait patiently in line and then use the large pop machine to mix his lemonade and iced tea. As I stood behind that glass partition, a flood of emotions enveloped my soul. I love him more than words can express. He is so precious to me. I would die to protect him. I’m so proud of him and the kind little man he has become. His desire to love the Lord brings tears. I felt every feeling in that moment as I watched him. My eyes gazed over at all my grandchildren and I almost cried standing there in that playroom. What a love. This is what love looks like. It is so powerful that the most eloquent words ever written cannot capture that feeling my heart has for them. And right there in that moment all the noise of customers and laughter of children faded into the background as I felt God telling me~ “That love. Magnify that love over and over and you still will not know the depth of love I have for you, or how much I love you Charisse.” The realization of that and the thought that God would remind me right then and there was overwhelmingly beautiful to me. That love? The most eloquent words I have ever written could not capture the magnitude of love God has for me. And for you. I will often read that old post I wrote because it’s such a good reminder. It is relatable for anyone you love deeply. Cherish every minute. I don’t want to blink. I want to celebrate every beautiful, precious moment with my husband, my children, my family and my sisters and brothers in Christ. And I want to hold on to every breathtaking moment with these grandchildren of mine. I want to soak up every word as they talk to me, because I know how quickly time passes. And as I think on this, I cannot help but think of my Heavenly Father loving me like that. I have no eloquent words this week. No long text with multiple scripture references. Just one thought. Just one verse. God loves you. Three words that say everything. God loves YOU! “For God SO LOVED the world…” John 3:16 Maybe you needed to be reminded of that today. I know I did, and in that moment as I watched my little man…when I was trying not to blink, yet blinking away the tears… God reminded me. I am a list maker, a type A, detailed planner and organizer. I confess, what I’m going to write about today was hard for me because I often feel embarrassment for being over the top in this area. (Probably because I am also a people pleaser and worry way too much about what other people think of me.)
I have often longed to be a free spirit. A spur of the moment, care a less kinda girl. Instead, I schedule my days with lists of things I feel are most productive. If I have checked everything off at the end of the day I not only have a sense of accomplishment, but also a sense of comfort. I’m the kind of mom who would go out of town and leave 5 pages of typed, detailed instructions plastered to the fridge for her kids. If I wanted to teach them tasks around the house, I would write out step by step instructions for them. Everything. Always. Orderly. I viewed being this way as flawed. But then I read Psalm 139. I read it and reread it. Over and over God has brought this Psalm to my mind. This week the verses that struck me most were that I am fearfully (*in a manner to impress adoration and astonishment) and wonderfully (*in a manner to excite wonder or surprise) made. (Psalm 139:14) And then God reminded me again when my son in law preached on the passage this past Sunday. He spoke about these exact verses before he even began his message. Because that’s how amazing God is! I am adoringly made in His image. (Genesis 1:27) And so this morning as I opened my Bible I asked God to show me God. (Psalm 84:2b, Jeremiah 29:13) If I am made in His image, my heart longs to be the best representation of that image. I can only do that by truly seeking to know Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. (Deuteronomy 6:5, Proverbs 8:17, Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30, Luke 10:27) Today in my bible reading He showed me… but it took a while. I was sure I would be meditating on some beautiful, poetic sonnets that would wash peace and assurance over me as I started my week. Instead, my reading had me in the book of Numbers. Usually I follow along with my Bible open as my app reads soothingly to me. Today, I just listened with coffee in hand and eyes closed. And I thought, “Numbers?? Really God? Mondays are already tough.” It’s very easy to zone out as you go through the book of Numbers. I even found myself wondering why God added this book to the Bible. (Shame!🥴) All the details and names and instructions. Verse after verse after verse… And that’s when it hit me. I am just like the book of Numbers! And~ I am fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image. The very thing that I have thought was a flaw about myself is exactly how God made me~ and He thinks I’m wonderful. (Colossians 3:10) It’s hard for me to write that because, to be honest it sounds very pious to me. I am doing a Ladies Bible Study on control and last week I read this quote by Jennifer Dukes Lee~”As Christian women…anything that looks like achievement becomes synonymous with conceit. But that’s not fair to God’s creative genius at work within us.” That stopped me in my tracks. I mulled it over but it was still hard for me to accept. Please do not mistake me here. I am not saying I am perfect because I am made in God’s image. We are all flawed because we are human and we are sinners. We can’t allow certain sins in our lives, and then self righteously justify those sins because “that’s just the way God made us”. My organizing, detailed, sometimes high maintenance, controlling behavior isn’t always a good thing. When my joy is based on my to do list getting done instead of Jesus, I allow sin to enter in. When I react negatively to those I love because they didn’t do something the way I wanted or told them to, I allow sin to enter in. But when I give my traits to God wholly, seeking His will~ that’s when He is most glorified. Today I think He smiled as I listened to Numbers. Maybe He chuckled a bit, wondering when it would click~ and then it did. I am a “book of Numbers” kind of girl, formed in the image of God. Perhaps God knew my children needed that crazy bit of order in their lives before stepping out on their own. Perhaps God knows my to do lists will greater serve His kingdom when I do them for His glory. What a thought! (Philippians 1:20,21, I Corinthians 10:31, Colossians 3:17) You may not have the same crazy quirks that I do. You might be a free spirit. You might be a Peter or a John or a Paul. Maybe a David or Mary or Martha. The crazy, surprising and astonishing thing about this is~ we are ALL made in His image. YOU are made in His image, just like I am. I’m so thankful for ALL of God’s word and the ways He shows us exactly who we are. Whatever your traits, you can use them for His glory! (Ephesians 4:11-13, 15-16) That’s the goal. Heart, mind, soul, strength. His glory. I’m sure it’s one that will never be checked off on my to do list because I’m human and fail daily, but I’m so thankful for God’s mercy and love for me regardless of my failings. (Philippians 3:10-12)If I have purposed throughout my day to bring Him glory through everything I am able to accomplish, there’s a reason He gives me comfort at the end of the day. (Ephesians 2:10) That comfort is His assurance to me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I will embrace it. (Psalm 71:21, 139:14) “but let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD.” Jeremiah 9:24 *Noah Webster 1828 American dictionary of the English language.
8/5/2022
Notice The ChildrenShe walked down the long dock, all the way to the end. My sweet granddaughter looked tiny next to such a large body of water. She stood there for a minute, and then she knelt down and placed the beautiful flower petals on the sea of glass.
I watched that video of my granddaughter over and over again last summer. My daughter recorded her without her knowing. I don’t know if I’m writing this because I want to challenge others, or because someday I want her to read this. I don’t want her to forget. Maybe a little of both... Children have been on my mind a lot this week. Our little church just had Vacation Bible School. 70 different children got to hear about the love of Jesus. All their tiny faces are etched in my memory. Soon we will be starting our new after school program. The opportunity to minister to these little ones and give them the hope of Jesus makes my heart swell. Because so many children don’t have hope. Many are frightened over an unknown future. Many don’t truly understand what love is, and the comfort it brings. Many will grow up with the guilt that their parents mistakes are because of them. There are so many that just need to be loved, but instead will grow up with scars because they are over looked or dismissed. All of our children need Jesus and all of that has weighed heavy on my heart this week. And that’s what sparked this memory... The death of my dad in 2020 hit my granddaughter Clara hard. She was 6 at the time. He had a special bond with her, the two of them. His death had an impact on her little soul, but so did another home going~ the death of a dear old saint who had ministered in our church for years. The funny thing is, at the time Dorothy wasn’t involved in any of our children’s ministries. Dear Dorothy played the organ. That was it. But she had an impact on my little Clara and that will encourage me all my days. Clara can be a handful at times. I often call her my crazy Clara. She’s wild and beautiful and unique. Somehow she always manages to spill something on her clothes and her hair looks like it hasn’t been brushed in days, all within five minutes of her mother getting her ready for church. But her heart… if you knew her you would know. Her heart is so big and her love for others is even bigger. And therein lies the problem. Many don’t know her, therefore she is easily overlooked and dismissed. Just like so many of our children today. Dorothy didn’t dismiss her. I don’t know what Dorothy did that made such a difference in my granddaughter’s life. Maybe it was a smile or a hug. Maybe she leaned down to listen or surprised her with a bit of candy on a bustling Sunday morning. Maybe she talked to her about her life. Maybe she talked to God about her life. Maybe she noticed her. That video I watched over and over? It was something Clara did all summer long, placing beautiful flower petals in water “to remember Pops and Dorothy”. My crazy Clara and her sentimental heart. The souls of children everywhere are like beautiful flower petals to Jesus. Tiny hearts that can either float away in a sea of harshness and cruelty, or love and comfort and hope. Children are not an annoyance. They are our future. You can give them Jesus through your actions. You can change a life for eternity. We might not ever know what goes on in their little hearts, but we can make a difference. You can make a difference. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be a smile or a hug or a little bit of candy on a Sunday morning. It can be a conversation with God about them. It can be a spark of hope and a measure of love that will stay with them all week long, and maybe the rest of their life. If we would just take the time to notice.
7/29/2022
Every Moment MattersThere were a sea of faces all around me~ children my age.
Hands outstretched, waiting to be filled with tiny, tasty goldfish~ a picture of one of the many miracles of Jesus. The 5 loaves and 2 fishes. Another day straw cowboy hats were given to every child. I can still remember the delicious smell of that straw as it filled the gymnasium. We made crafts with popsicle sticks and learned the song~ “STOP and Let Me Tell You What the Lord Has Done For Me”. I was in awe of the STOP and GO signs the leaders held up as each verse was sung. Everything was so foreign to me at the time. But I remembered. These are memories I have. Pieces of a time in my life that wasn’t the norm for my family and wouldn’t be the norm until almost ten years later. But God knew that. He was working in this little girl’s life before she could truly understand. He was whispering to my heart~”let me introduce you to my Son. One day, He will be your very best friend.” Put aside the fact that for one brief week, I was in the same church my future husband attended. Maybe he was one of the young boys handing out hats~ or fishes. Maybe he sat next to me as we sang. Maybe he even smiled at me. We never attended that church again and yet, despite moving 4 different times to 4 different cities,16 years later I met him and married him. God has a miraculous way of using everything in our lives. Everything in our children’s lives. Nothing is by chance. Nothing is an accident. God introduced a little girl that knew nothing about Jesus, to His Son~ She was only in Kindergarten. And she remembered. Vacation Bible School. God used all the workers that week, all the “behind the scenes” helpers, every craft, every snack and every prize. It all mattered. None of them will ever know the impact they made on my life that week, until someday we meet in heaven. But it made a difference in this little girl’s heart. And she remembered. Vacation Bible School. Don’t discount the importance of our children and the impact God’s word can have on their lives. Every moment matters. And 52 years later that little girl will start her 28th Vacation Bible School with her husband, but this year her daughter and son in law will take the lead. Joy will fill her heart as she looks into the eyes of each little child~ And she remembers.
7/22/2022
Help My UnbeliefIt hit me this week
My faith. Or lack thereof. If Jesus said I could move mountains with faith as small as a mustard seed, my faith must be the size of a dust particle. You know, the ones you can only see when the sun is streaming through the windows. That’s me. Boasting on my faith when life is all sunshine and happiness~ until a cloud rolls by~ and just like that, the little particle disappears into nothingness. I’ve had a lot of clouds roll by throughout my life. This past month has been no exception. My husband was scheduled for complete shoulder replacement surgery and I’ll be an open book here~ I was dreading it. The doctor, the nurses, the anesthesiologist and people who have had the surgery all warned me that my sweetheart would be in a tremendous amount of pain, and it would be hard. VERY hard. The doctor spoke with me after the surgery and told me that it was worse than he expected. Lots of muscle to get through. He cut, he drilled, he scraped, he chiseled. This would be a tough recovery. So I did what any Christian would do. I reached out and asked for prayer. Hundreds of people responded. It brought tears to my eyes. And yet, despite this, deep down I was mentally preparing myself for the worst. The “worst” never came. And silly me, I kept looking for it. Day after day. I then questioned it. Something must be wrong. How can he have ZERO pain with everything the doctor did? With everything everyone told me to expect? It has been two weeks and he’s not even taking Tylenol. The worst never showed up. The miracle did. And I realized that I didn’t look for the miracle or even expect it when I asked for prayer. And in that moment, so many other things came flooding to my mind. Pleas that I had been praying about for years. Things that God had miraculously answered. Prayers I had prayed with no faith at all, because I was convinced that the person or situation could never change. Prayers prayed for thirty years that had been answered. And I wept. Because God was so faithful to me despite my unfaithfulness. He showed me today that it isn’t about me and how large my faith is, because God doesn’t need my faith. I need my faith. When I uttered the request, He answered. He saw that tiny dust particle floating around and He created a miracle from it in my life. If someone had told me thirty years ago, or even ten years ago that some of my prayers would be answered ten years down the road, my flesh probably would have whined and complained. “TEN years???? That’s SO LONG!!” But, I blinked and it happened. Miracle after miracle after miracle. I continually find myself saying~ I believe, please help my unbelief. And He does. Over and over again. My great God breathed hope back into situations that seemed utterly hopeless. He restored, He healed, He answered. Always when I was least expecting it. When I wasn’t looking. When my faith was floating around like a dust particle… Think back to when you were a child. Do you remember seeing the sunshine streaming through your windows? Can you remember watching in awe as all the little particles danced in that sunshine? Do you remember thinking that somehow you could grab a hold of one and hold it in your hand, yet somehow they eluded your tiny little grasp? Hearken back to that my friend. That child like wonder and awe. That belief that anything is possible. Because it is. But only with God. That tiny particle of faith that you have never eludes Him. His power resides inside it. *Even a tiny faith holds all of Christ. He grabs a hold of that particle and makes something beautiful. He remains faithful despite our unfaithfulness. Today I look over at my sweetheart. There is no logical explanation for the fact that he has zero pain. Except God. Time and time again He has shown me~ Keep looking for your answer, even when your faith seems small because~ He is faithful. When we are looking for the worst, He is creating our miracles.
7/15/2022
Religion Does Not Love YouI have this Bible app that I love. I can listen to God’s word with beautiful music playing in the background. It’s normally so comforting, but today it was not. This app also tells you the amount of time you have spent in God’s word each month. My performance was very lacking. When I saw it, I felt like a little girl getting a bad report card. I felt shame. I grew up with a religious view of God. Like the magnificent statues in my church when I was little. Beautiful, but cold. The first time I saw the Wizard of Oz, I imagined that that was what God was like, the Wizard. Scary and unaproachable. Somehow He broke through my view of Him to show me His love and mercy and grace. I had no problem understanding that I was a sinner the first time I heard someone talk to me about Jesus. I knew I did bad things. I may not have committed murder or stolen from anyone, but I knew that I was quite the little professional when it came to lying. And I knew that was wrong. In my adolescent mind, I understood that my sin separated me from God. I wasn’t worthy to come into His presence. Some might think that I was merely scared of God because of that thought pattern I was taught from a young age~the fear of His Kingship. I don’t. I believe the moment that someone opened the Bible and showed me my sinfulness and need of repentance and how very much God loved me~was the moment His Holy Spirit broke through all my barriers and spoke to my heart… because that fear had kept me from believing that He was loving and approachable. That fear had lied to me. The day I understood that His love for me was so incredible was the day that changed my life. I think religion tends to make it too hard. In our human minds we believe it must be a process for us to gain approval, because deep down we understand how bad we truly are. We might not want to admit it, but we know. Here are some facts God wants us to realize~ ~It’s not hard, we need only the faith of a child. How simple is that? ~We are all sinners. ~Our sin separates us from God. ~There is nothing we can physically do to “earn” our way to heaven. ~God loves us. ~God sent His Son to earth to save us from ourselves. To save us from our sins. To save us from hell. To close that gap of separation between us and God. ~God’s Son Jesus was born in a manger and died a horrific death on the cross of Calvary. He took every one of our sins upon Himself that day. Every sin from our past, every sin from our future. ~God’s salvation is a free gift to all, a gift that cost Him everything, a gift that we must receive. It isn’t enough for us to say that we believe Jesus died for us. It isn’t enough to say that we know God is loving and forgiving. In complete repentance and surrender, we must receive His gift. ~What does that look like? A heart that is truly sorry for their sin. A soul that says~ God, I am all yours, please forgive me for my sin and save me. A thankful spirit that praises God for the ultimate sacrifice of His Son’s death on the cross. ~A person that knows God is their Father and they are a child of the King. A prayer that will change a person’s life forever. The complete assurance that you are God’s child for eternity and nothing can change that. I thank God at the age of 12 someone explained that to me. I saw God differently that day. No longer a fearful statue. No longer an unapproachable King. But a Father Who loved me. It’s been over 50 years since that prayer and yet, there are many times that my old religious thought patterns sabotage me. Times I think everything has to be just right before I can have a prayer session with God. Times I convince myself I messed up big time and He is angry with me. Times like today when I feel my performance is lacking. Perhaps for many of my younger years religion was taught more than repentance. Religion more than relationship. Performance over personal. I am sure it was always with good intentions, but God is so much more that a perfect checklist of good deeds that we must do to gain His approval. Too often we miss that in our churches. He is a God Who meets us where we are and it is crazy to me that I am realizing this more and more, the older I get. The many people Jesus went to in the gospels were imperfect sinners just like me. And Oh, how MUCH Jesus loved them. They weren’t religious, they weren’t perfect. They were me, and they were you. He has saved my soul and I know that I will always be His child because the Bible tells me this truth. I also know that I will mess up every day because I am human. Unlike the statues in my old religious settings, God became human for me in the form of an innocent perfect baby. He grew up loving the imperfect and lowly, like me~and He died on the cross for me. During His time here on earth, He knew what it was like to be me and He loves me. And He knows what it’s like to be you. And He loves you too. He understands, He forgives but most important~ He loves. Religion will not save your soul. Jesus will. All you have to do is ask. And for eternity you remain His child. I will not allow fear to lie to me. The Holy Spirit comforts my heart continually and shows me that my loving Father understands the month I have had, because He has been right here with me through it all. Not only does He understand, but He meets me here in my weakness and He gives me strength and peace. Not based on performance. Based solely on His incredible love for me. That’s Who my God is, and today I needed that reminder. I am not worthy because of religion. I am not accepted because of performance. I am loved because of Jesus. No matter what. Religion does not love you. Jesus does. I looked at that beautiful white picket fence. It was like something from a storybook. The kind of book that always says “Happily Ever After” at the end.
As I watched him put his little car away, I gazed down the road to where my house was. He smiled at me and waved. And the words to this song played in my head~ “Do you ever get the feeling that there’s something greater happening here? It’s like our hearts are a part of a bigger story…” Was this real? My grandsons sharing their moments in between the white picket fence and my heart. All right down the road from me. I looked over my shoulder as the sun set. I looked at the place my daddy had called home. I smiled because I knew that my son and his wife were making memories there now. I heard my youngest daughter’s laughter as she walked home with her husband. I thought of my granddaughters playing with their new puppy just across the creek. All on my block. All my children and grandchildren. All right down the road from my home. And my heart was so full. And the words to that song played in my head~ “Do you ever get the feeling that there’s something greater happening here? It’s like our hearts are a part of a bigger story?…” Every single day. This story God wrote for me. It’s beautiful. I know I might not live to see the end. I might not be here when my grandsons grow up and get married. I might not be here when my granddaughters have their own children~ when my children become grandparents. But I know my heart is a part of this big story and I am going to cherish every single second of it while God allows. Because it’s beautiful. Our lives are beautiful. Too often we don’t even realize until we are at the end of our story. There’s beauty all around us. Beauty we can easily miss if our eyes tend to focus on the bad. Every moment, every second you are a part of a bigger story. God is using you to write it. Days flow into each other. Faster and faster. The pages keep turning. We are always anxious for the next chapter. We worry that the ending won’t be a “Happily Ever After”, so we strive to make sure it is. In that constant rush we miss all the good parts. That one chapter that changed the entire narrative. That paragraph that touched our heart. That word that held the meaning of a thousand words in one. Your story. Linger longer. Stay on that page and read it again. Hold it close. Because time and moments and memories will change with each chapter and if you aren’t absorbing the words~ you will miss it. And you will wish you could go back to the beginning and read it again. Slower. Soaking in every beautiful second. But you can’t. We can’t. “Do you ever get the feeling that’s there’s something greater happening here? Its like our hearts are a part of a bigger story…” I stood there and allowed the soft twilight to wash over me. I lingered and soaked in his smile and wave. This moment would not come again. His smile is that one word that holds a thousand words. Tomorrow was a new chapter. And my heart is full, because I know~ My heart is a part of a bigger story.
7/1/2022
Just Be QuietThere is too much noise.
Have you ever had days or even weeks like that? My brain won’t be quiet amidst the whirlwind of life going on around me. I am a thinker. I love to think on God’s word. I love to think about life lessons He has for me. I love to voice my thoughts to God as I pray. I love moments of quiet with Jesus. What if life isn’t quiet though? Morning until evening. Constant. No time to gather your thoughts or be still with God. I tend to assume that my blog suffers at times like these. I fret. I can’t seem to focus on what I should write about because I can’t seem to gather just a few moments to think, and when an opportunity presents itself, my brain strays and I end up focusing on everything else that’s going on in my life at the time. I find myself wishing for a miracle. I find myself begging God in the late hours of the night to give me a message of hope, but often I strive in my own strength. Trying to think. Trying to push past the noise. The noise hasn’t all been bad. There has been beautiful noise. The laughter of grandchildren. Wedding songs and vows made. The fellowship of extended family. Ladies discussing the study of God’s word. Church services and beautiful old hymns being sung. But then there has been the noise of other things. Things that push past quiet moments and steal away my thoughts toward God. The noise of traffic as we travel. The noise of packing and unpacking and packing again. The noise of responsibility and to do lists screaming at us to get finished before the noise of hospital stays next week. The noise of worry over my husband’s upcoming surgery. The noise of wondering and what ifs. And I just want to stop. I yearn for the quiet. I yearn for God. But my brain doesn’t want to be quiet. This morning I stole a few moments from my day. I turned on my Bible app and I sat and made myself listen to God’s words. I quietly asked Him to speak to me. To speak past the noise. To speak past the whirlwind in my brain. He never fails. Today He showed me the simple passage of the blind man in Mark 8. Jesus took him away from all the noise. Away from the city, (v. 23) and then He touched him. It didn’t happen right away~ that miracle God had just for him. Jesus asked him a simple question. “Do you see anything?” (v. 23) But things were still blurry to the man. So Jesus touched him again, and that’s when the miracle happened. The man could see. In that moment as I read, I knew that I needed to stop talking AT Jesus. I knew I needed to stop asking Him for something to write. Stop begging Him for a message of hope that might help others. I needed my brain to get away from it all and allow Jesus to speak to me. I didn’t need just the right words to share with the world, (Mark 8:26) I needed His words to see things clearer. I didn’t need a message of hope to write for my blog, I needed a message of hope FOR MY OWN HEART. In that moment, I heard His message. Do you see? Do you see me? I am here. It was blurry at first. Like the blind man, the noise still seemed larger than life to me. Like looming trees. (Mark 8:24) I read that passage and then read it again. And then the miracle happened. I could see. So clearly. I didn’t need the quiet. I was the one who needed to be quiet. I needed to look at Jesus and listen to Him. It never ceases to amaze me that I can read scripture countless times and miss a tiny morsel of knowledge that God has for me and then suddenly He touches me with His words and miracles happen. My eyes are opened and I see exactly what I need at the exact moment I need it. The blind man didn’t question God and ask why he couldn’t see after the first attempt, Jesus questioned the blind man. Sometimes we just need to be quiet, stop striving and just listen to God and apply His words to our souls so that are eyes are opened to His truths. Maybe some of you might feel like your life is out of control right now. The noise is deafening and your heart is crying out, but you just can’t seem to focus on God. Let me encourage you today. Stop trying. Get away from it all, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Then, stop talking AT Jesus and allow Him to speak to you. Get yourself a bible app and listen to His miraculous words. Your chaos. Your busy. Your overwhelm and your noise will all be silenced in awe of Him and you will feel His peace wash over you. What do you see? Imagine opening your eyes amidst the chaos that looms over your soul. Imagine opening your eyes and seeing Jesus there. Smiling back at you. That’s the miracle that can happen if you just stop to listen.
6/24/2022
Your No Might Be God’s YesI can remember sitting in Cobo arena with my parents.
Thousands of people were there to hear one man speak. I was probably only in 7th or 8th grade but I can vividly remember looking at that crowd and thinking how amazingly beautiful it would be if I were in that man’s shoes, reaching and encouraging thousands for the Lord. I prayed that someday, somehow I could glorify Jesus that way. I finished high school with a longing in my heart to be a teacher. I enrolled in college with a major in elementary education. I loved teaching and I loved children. I just knew God placed that desire within me and I prayed that someday that desire would be fulfilled. I got married and we started a family. Since grade school I had dreamt of becoming an author and publishing a book. I started with a course on children’s writing. I had so many thoughts in my head that I wanted my pen to tell. I prayed that someday, when my children were grown and my life was less busy God would allow me that dream. In each instance I asked God~ Would You allow this for me? Could You? But as the years went by~ I thought His answer to each of these was no. I have never gotten to reach or encourage thousands of people in an arena. I never was an elementary school teacher. I never wrote or published a book. I married a pastor and eventually we moved to a small town in the thumb of MI. No huge crowds. No large arenas. A pastor’s wife at a tiny church of less than 100. The years went by. I raised my children and watched and prayed as each left our little home and then one day... as I sat and listened to the broken heart of a woman seeking counsel, God whispered to my own heart to begin something new. That was this. The beginning of Holding Hope. And so, yesterday as I thanked Him for this beautiful privilege He has allowed me~ He showed me. He would, He could and He did. 40 years after the quiet prayer of a shy girl in the midst of thousands, He answered. He didn’t answer in the way I expected. No, I don’t get up in an arena and talk to thousands. From my very small town in the Midwest, God chose to use social media as His platform instead. Holding Hope. No, I never taught in a school. God brought me to a church where, for a long time I was the only teacher for the children there. For 25 years He has allowed me to fulfill that dream and today I teach along side my own children in that very same church. And no, I have never published or even written a book, but every week God allows this pen to write the stories He puts in my heart. Don’t give up. Wherever you might be right now, whatever your prayer, whatever your dream~ God has your answer. It might not come tomorrow or next week or next year. It might take 40 years, but He will answer. Hold on to that hope. You might be a student, sitting in a classroom wondering if God could ever use you to reach and encourage others. You might be a mama, sitting in the middle of babies and bottles and diapers with a “someday” dream tucked away in your heart. You might be a grandmother who hasn’t even realized that God has already answered your prayers. He has always been faithful, even in my unfaithfulness. My no was His yes. Search your heart for His yes and when you find it, you will find so many more answers to the prayers you have whispered through the years. Prayers you may have forgotten~ but He never did, and He never will. *Repost from 1/23/20 |
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