Have you ever wondered if you were a little crazy? Don't tell anyone, but I have. 😂Maybe it's because I'm a deep thinker. Sometimes that can get you into trouble because then you tend to over think every situation. There have been times that I lay in bed at night and vocalize my crazy thoughts to my poor husband and afterward realize that he must think I have some serious issues. So then I ask him if he does think that I have some serious issues (because I am laying next to him over thinking) and he hugs me tight and whispers "not at all" then rolls over and within seconds is fast asleep. In the mean time~there I lay. Thinking. At times, if we aren't careful, our minds can get us into trouble, especially if you are a pre-menopausal woman like me who sometimes has trouble sleeping at night. All kinds of things can pop into your head and suddenly you are worried about issues you probably wouldn't have even thought about in the busy day time hours. It's at these times that I am so thankful for God's words to me. When the rest of the world is fast asleep and my husband lays next to me snoring~I am thankful that the Bible tells me that my Heavenly Father never sleeps or slumbers. He stays awake with me. He holds my hand and my heart when it frets. When my brain won't shut off and my thoughts become scattered~ again God reminds me that His thoughts are not my thoughts neither are His ways my ways. He asks me to set my thoughts on things above, not on things on the earth and He promises me that if I think on these things; things that are lovely, things that are true, things that are honest, just and pure, that the peace of God that passes all understanding will keep not only my heart, but my mind and all those crazy thoughts inside it. So I snuggle in closer to my husband under the covers and listen to my Savior whisper psalms to my heart and then I drift off to sleep under a blanket of peace that truly passes all my pre-menopausal understanding.
My hair wasn't the only thing that changed with each pregnancy 😂~Each one of my pregnancies and each delivery were all completely different. I threw up constantly with Jessica and couldn't gain weight. The doctor actually advised eating lots of beef and milk shakes. Jessica's due date came and left and one evening my water just broke. No warning contractions. I sat on a pile of every bath towel we owned. It was like a pipe burst. I was just as sick with Andrea but when she was due I slept through most of my contractions and as my husband would say~"gave birth without a bullet to bite on". No pain meds whatsoever. I wasn't sick with Michael and when he was due, after many hours of contractions that were only 2 minutes apart, the contractions stopped completely. I was then induced, had an epidural and got to watch the entire birth with no pain. With Kathryn I gained the most weight and my doctor actually told me "YOU HAVE TO STOP EATING" 😂 I had a normal, fairly quick delivery and Kathryn was my fattest baby at 9lb 13oz. Each of us have been born into families that are probably all very different but one thing we all have in common is that as a baby in the womb, we didn't have to do a single thing to be born into our family, we just accepted the gift of life. My friend, it is exactly this way being born into God's family and becoming His child. We don't have to work for it, we don't have to be "good enough", we don't have to ask Him if we can be His child on a daily basis. When we just accept His gift of life we are immediately born into His family and forever His child. With God, you will always be Daddy's little girl. There isn't anything that can change this. Just like there were plenty of times I disobeyed my parents and probably even hurt them, there will be times that I disobey my Heavenly Father and probably hurt Him. But with the love that only a parent can give, He forgives me. Over and over He continually loves and continually forgives. And I remain forever His.
As a mom, and now a grandma, there were and are countless times that I have felt like I really messed up. I over analyze past situations that I wish I could have or should have done differently. I wonder if I gave my children a happy childhood and a happy mom. Was I a good, godly example as their little eyes watched me or did I blow it in situations where I should have acted differently? Was I joyful, compassionate, patient, understanding? Motherhood can be tough. You are raising a person. Their future, their personality, their faith, their work ethic, their outlook on life, can all rest on your shoulders. That's so huge. There were times I just sat in the bathroom crying. There were times I was afraid my kids would never stop fighting. There were times I just begged God to show me what to do. There were times that I had to apologize to them. There were times I felt like I had really blown it. There were times I compared myself to other moms and never measured up. As mother's, we all have our moments where we feel this way but we can take comfort in this- God our Father thinks we are the perfect mom for our children, otherwise He wouldn't have blessed us with them. Our all-knowing God created you to be the exact mama your children would need. You are their super mom and you mean the world to them. So throw away the tissues, unlock that bathroom door, hug those precious babies of yours and always remember~ God chose YOU because YOU are the ONLY PERFECT mom for them!
With Mother's Day just around the corner, thoughts of my children and their younger years always come to mind. I'm so very thankful for the time God gave me to invest in their little lives before they married and started families of their own. So many fun memories for which I am thankful for, and especially their daddy who always made sure we took the time to just BE with them. Day trips traveling around the Thumb with a bag of Lefty's foot longs and some amazing onion rings. Daddy reading his favorite childhood books to them as mom drove the family van up to the Falls and Sleeping Bear. No phones, no computers, no TV~ just reading, talking, laughing and being silly. Ice cream cones and watermelon. Pillow fights and hide-n-seek. Forts and fishing, swimming and Jesus. Always Jesus. I recently read a quote that said "you will never look back on life and think 'I spent too much time with my kids'." This couldn't be more true. Purpose in your heart that next Mothers Day you will look back on a year full of amazing memories. Take the time this year to really spend with your children. It doesn't have to be a fancy trip or expensive outing. Camping in the back yard and roasting marshmallows will do just fine. And then some sleepy snuggles, prayers and lots of thankfulness. Hold them close. All they really need is you. Jesus and you.