5/29/2018
Bats In Your Bed“Are you sure you weren’t dreaming?” Those were my husband’s words~ and I wanted to punch him. It was 2am. I don’t know what woke me, but I sat up in bed. Our bedroom door was open to our living room and in the darkness it almost looked like a light was bouncing off of our living room walls. I grabbed my phone, turned on its flashlight and got out of bed. (Don’t ask me why I was brave enough to go check out a potential burglar, while my husband was fast asleep.) I shined the flashlight into the living room, illuminating the cause of the bouncing light effect. A bat was flying back and forth in front of our open window and to my horror, when it spotted my light, it flew directly at me. I quickly jumped back into bed but that crazy bat followed me into our bed. By now you probably know that my house isn’t decorated in a “normal” style. 🤣 I love 17th century antiques. We sleep in an enclosed “Scrooge bed” as Mike calls it, complete with four posts and curtains on all sides. That bat was flying around above me inside that bed, and Mike was still fast asleep. I started screaming his name and shaking him. In his sleepy state he sat up, which startled the bat who then flew toward the foot of the bed right into one of the curtains. It caught him and he plummeted to the floor. Mike never saw a thing. We turned every light on in the house, but after shaking every one of those bed curtains and all my blankets multiple times, we never found the bat. Of course, Mike was sure I dreamt the whole thing. I got even angrier (there might’ve been a few tears too) and ended up sleeping on the floor in the bathroom. Mike slept soundly in the bed all night. In the morning, I found the bat, alive and well, hanging upside down on one of my kitchen cupboards. Here’s the thing. I didn’t have the confidence Mike had. I wanted proof that the bat was found and taken care of. I wasn’t going to take Mike’s word that (IF there was a bat 🙄), it would leave us alone. I knew that bat was in there somewhere but because I couldn’t find it, my actions were not pretty. I couldn’t rest until it was found. That’s exactly how we need to be with God’s word. Do we know why we believe what we believe or are we just taking someone’s word for it, and going with that. You might’ve been raised in a Christian home and gone to church your whole life. You believed the words of your pastor or parents and based your own beliefs on the words of someone else, never really knowing why you believe them yourself. You might have married someone that has strong beliefs and taken their word that their way was the right way. Even now you might be raising your children to honor God and Country, but aren’t really teaching them to know why they believe what they believe. In this day and age, it is so very important to teach our children to know the “why’s”. It’s important to teach them to study God’s words, because the world will always have questions and we need to have the right answers. God’s answers. It’s not enough to say~”well, that’s what my parents always taught me” or “that’s what my church teaches”. We shouldn’t be content to “rest” in our beliefs until we have the proof. If we aren’t taking the time to read the Bible, when people come across our path and the questions fly at us like that crazy bat, will we have God’s word hidden in our hearts like our own personal flashlight~ able to shine HIS answers? Or are we looking at every other light~church, our pastor, our spouse or parents, even social media~for the answers, but never really finding our own? When we aren’t resting firmly in God’s word, when we don’t know why we believe what we believe, our actions will not be pretty. Let’s teach our children, and ourselves, that we don’t need to be afraid of the unknown, as long as we are resting in Gods words and have the proof hidden away in our hearts. Psalm 78:6-7, Psalm 119:11, Psalm 119:105, Psalm 119:41-42, Psalm 119:165, I Peter 3:15, Psalm 132:12-14, Hebrews 4:9
5/22/2018
I’m Not ReadyI’M NOT READY
May 15,2018 My daughter gave birth early this morning. Her sweet little Caleb decided he wanted to arrive 9 days early. Caleb’s mommy happens to be just like his grandma. A planner. A list maker. A “get. every. single. thing. done. before. the. baby. comes” mommy. When the contractions started~and then continued every five minutes on the dot~she still didn’t want to believe it. This wasn’t part of the plan. She frantically tidied, vacuumed and even cried a little (okay~maybe a lot) and she said~ “I’m not ready.” But God her Father thought differently. I couldn’t help but think of all the times I uttered those words through the years. “I’m not ready.” When the pregnancy test came back positive. When I went into labor. When I brought my little one home for the very first time. When my children spoke their first words and took their first steps. When they were no longer a baby. When they left for their first day of school. When they no longer wanted to snuggle. When they chose their friends over mom and dad. When they were no longer a child. When they graduated and drove off to college. When they said “good bye”~ to say “I do”. When they were no longer mine. Even today I find myself saying those words, but when I think about the absolute miracle of pregnancy and natural childbirth, when I think about the fact that Andrea couldn’t do a single thing to control the situation when she went into labor early, when I think about the precision of labor~the perfectly timed contractions telling mama it was time~I see God’s hand all over it. How could I not? I saw my Savior holding my daughter last night and telling her it was ok. He was with her. It was time. Time to let go and give Him control. And each stage of my children’s lives where I didn’t feel ready~God was holding me. I can now look back and see that He was always in control. He had a plan and His plan was for this mama to let go of everything she was holding onto so tightly and give it to Him, trusting Him completely. No matter how hard. When your heart is being squeezed. When the tears begin to fall. When you utter the words “I’m not ready”~ God your Father thinks differently. Trust in Him and let go. Our children are the most precious gift God has given us apart from His Son, but they aren’t ever really, truly ours~they will always be His. Our plans for our children may not be God’s plans. No matter how old they get, you will always hold your child in your heart. Take comfort in knowing that God will always hold your heart in His hands. Once you realize that His way is perfect and give Him control, once you learn to trust Him completely~that’s when you’ll hear Him whispering the words~ “You are ready mama.”
5/15/2018
Just Like My MomJUST LIKE MY MOM
Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was playing Barbies with my girls in their bedroom? That I was teaching my son how to tie his shoes? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was hiding money under pillows, in place of tiny teeth? That we were snuggling during thunder storms and I was whispering away nightmares? As I think about my children, my heart has this deep longing for my words to somehow impart some wisdom into their younger hearts. If I could, I would wish that they could magically catch a glimpse of their future and their children’s future, to see how much their “now” impacts that. If only I could pen the words that would open their eyes to a not so distant world where they are grandparents looking back... Just like me. What do my kids remember of me as they learned to walk, as they learned their alphabet, mathematics and manners, as they went through puberty or had their first crush, as they graduated high school? As they went off to face the world without me? Moms with young children~ what do you remember growing up? Think deeply about that. What do you want your children to remember? How will they remember you? Oh if I could go back in time, I would do things so differently. My highest priority would not be a “perfect” house. My hormones wouldn’t get the best of me and physical insecurities would not be so prevalent. I would love on their daddy a little more and yell a lot less. The glory of God’s grace would shine a lot brighter, like beautiful beams of light guiding their tiny steps. I would want my children to remember that I was always praying and always praising, that I loved life and loved my Savior. That He was very real to me~ and that He was my very best friend. That I was always happy. I would want them to look at me and say~ “when I grow up, I want to be just like my mom.” I can’t go back but I can go forward. Precious grandchildren are now looking up at me. What do they see? Mama, you have a lifetime ahead of you. Despite what we may allow the world to see on social media, our children see the real “us”. Choose wisely. Little eyes are looking up at you and little hearts are soaking it all in. Your choices today are impacting their tomorrows. Someday when your children become adults, if they could choose to be anything in the world~ would not your heart burst with maternal humility to hear them say~ When I grow up, I want to be~ JUST LIKE MY MOM. 💗💗
5/8/2018
Fix My MarriageFIX MY MARRIAGE!
Why does “marriage” get such a bad rap? Why do men complain to other men that they “won’t ever get any physical attention” once the ring goes on, while women whine to other women about everything their husbands do wrong? I remember the early years of our marriage like it was yesterday. We had this “mixed tape” of love songs we’d listen to while we kissed on the couch. All. The. Time. And then life happened. Cue the babies, sleepless nights, dirty diapers and terrible two’s. Suddenly they’re in high school with teenage drama, sporting events, graduations and college prep and before you know it you are planning weddings and baby showers. The “kissing” sessions on the couch became few and far between. At times there would be a lull in the busyness and we would find ourselves on that couch like a couple of teenagers, but more often than not, we had to purposely make the time for each other (no matter how exhausted we were) to love on each other and rekindle the romance. We had to remember the “us” of our early years. When we didn’t, the irritability levels rose and the fights became more frequent. Why is it that even today, after 32 years of marriage I can be listening to a love song that gives me all those mushy, wedding night vibes toward my husband but five minutes after he walks in the door he will say or do something that irritates the snot out of me? Here’s the shocking answer to that question~ I am selfish~not selfless. I want those mushy feelings, but only on my terms, where “happily ever after” revolves around me. Too often I focus on me and my day and don’t take into account the kind of day my husband had. There’s so many good books out there with advice on how to fix a broken marriage, but ladies~I have found that the BEST book on marriage was penned by God Himself and HIS first step to fixing your marriage is this: Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 2:5-8) He made Himself of no reputation by completely emptying Himself of all the glory due Him. He became a Servant. He forgives our every trespass and loves us unconditionally, expecting NOTHING in return. He gave His very life for us. I’m not saying that every day will be a bed of roses if we apply these principles and I can guarantee your marriage won’t instantly be amazing. Some days will be hard, very hard. Do whatever it takes to continually have the mind of Christ. Don’t give up. Fight for your marriage. Plaster notecards everywhere and set alarms on your phone that say~ !!! HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST !!! Strive to look at your own heart before casting blame and then forgive and forgive and forgive again. Always remember the mushy feelings and “make-out” sessions. Love unconditionally, expecting nothing in return. And finally~ when we are tempted to blow up at our husbands, or wallow in self-pity, when we feel like “that was the last straw”~ think about all Jesus forgave of you and what He endured to accomplish that. If you want your marriage to be fixed, fix your eyes on Christ. (Hebrews 12:2) Christ is our ultimate example and with His help we can continually press toward that mark (Phil. 3:14) and finally give marriage a good name. The one God always intended. ALLOW YOUR HEART TO SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS AGAIN I know I can be a unique kind of crazy at times, especially at Christmas. I’m the crazy lady that doesn’t mind thunderstorms, cloudy days or 5” of snow in April. (I can see you guys rolling your eyes 🙄😂) I’m that one who’s listening to Christmas music in secret right after Labor Day so no one will think I’m nuts. So, it’s easy for me to write a different reminder every month about the “word” I chose for 2018~”Christmas”~along with all the reasons I love it, and why we should celebrate those reasons throughout the year. But what about those who don’t love Christmas? The Christmas my mom died I determined that nothing on my calendar was going to change, maybe I was trying to stay busy so my heart wouldn’t have a chance to face the pain. A ladies Christmas cookie exchange had been on our church calendar for quite a while and I was hosting it. The night before, I decided that I wanted my Christmas tree up for the party. My husband urged me “not to go crazy”, (I’ve actually heard those words from him quite often) and told me the ladies would surely understand, but I wouldn’t listen. At 1am I put the last of the bulbs on the tree~ some very special ones my dad had just given me. They were bulbs my mom kept through the years from her very first Christmas with my dad. I felt relief when my head finally hit the pillow that night. The next day everything seemed to be running smoothly. With only an hour to spare, disaster struck with a loud crash. My Christmas tree had fallen over and my mom’s bulbs were shattered all over the floor. I sat down right there in that mess and sobbed. I felt a deep pain inside. My heart felt shattered just like those bulbs and I wasn’t sure my life could ever be beautiful again. I didn’t have time for a pity party so, despite my inner turmoil, I got up and cleaned up the mess and there, behind the tree I found one beautiful bulb that did not break. The sobs returned. Love for my mom filled a broken heart that was desperately hurting. I know that the world is full of people who have gone through something similar in their own lives. A situation that broke their heart, or hardened it. Something that made them despise the holidays with all its reminders of what was, or what could have been. The cheerful music and beautiful decorations only make them more glum and the Merry Christmas greetings make them want to hide in silence and cry. But God so LOVED the world. YOU are His world. But God SO loved the world that He gave. He gave Love, He gave hope, He gave EVERYTHING His SON~ for YOU. Your heart might be hurting in silence, inwardly screaming in pain. Let me remind you, sweet friend, that you mean the world to your Heavenly Father. Allow His Love to come into your darkness and show you all the hope and peace and joy that “Merry Christmas” truly means. Allow Him to be the light of your world. It didn’t happen for me overnight. My mom died one month before Christmas. The pain lasted a long time and every year I am reminded, without even thinking about it. Winter snowflakes and crisp air. The smell of cookies. Andy Williams, Charlie Brown and Rudolph. One beautiful bulb that did not break. My mom~wrapped up in all these things. My desperately hurting heart was just like that beautiful bulb to my Savior. I thought it was shattered. I thought my life couldn’t be beautiful again, but He made it beautiful. Christ alone. Because His love found me and His love healed me. Allow His love to wash over you today and heal your brokenness. Allow your heart to say Merry Christmas again. |
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