I looked over at Mike as we drove in silence and my heart just filled with love. Sometimes when I think about how much I love him it brings tears to my eyes. He's my best friend. Yes, there are times that he drives me completely crazy and I want to kill him but honestly, I can't imagine life without him. I am closer to him than any other person on this earth. He knows everything about me, the good and the bad, and loves me still. We share everything. So, holding hands, we drove in silence, and I thought of what a comfort it was to just be still in the silence with him.
By now I'm sure you all know that I can tend to over think things. One area that's always been a source of overthinking is prayer. I've read so many books and heard so many pastors preach on the subject that honestly, it can seem a bit overwhelming, even to someone who has been in church their whole life. We're talking about talking to God here! That's huge! Even though it should be such a simple thing~ talking to our Father, I would still struggle. Am I praying long enough? Am I supposed to praise and thank Him first or ask for forgiveness first? Am I forgetting someone I'm supposed to be praying for? Is it stupid to ask God to help me with this? And so on. I've had many questions pop up through the years but that day, as I sat in the silence with the one person I loved the most on this earth~ my Heavenly Father answered them all. Mike and I don't 'make' ourselves sit for a designated amount of time each day talking, it just comes naturally. It's not a chore. It's a desire. We talk to each other all throughout the day. And if we have wronged one another~that fellowship is broken and needs to be restored by telling each other we are sorry. And then there are times where we don't talk at all. We are just still in the comfort of each other's presence. This is how it is meant to be with Jesus. Talking to Him all throughout our day, apologizing when we know we have wronged Him, taking comfort in just being still in His presence. It doesn't have to be complicated. It doesn't have to be specific words or phrases, just sharing our heart with the One Who loves us more than we can imagine. When I think about how much I love Mike, I can't even fathom how much my Savior loves me. I fall on my knees in awe. How could I, in turn, not love Him with my everything? And so, I will talk to Him all day. I will laugh about silly things with Him, that I'm sure only He and I understand. When I feel alone, He will hold my hand. I will cry with Him. I will apologize when I've done something stupid. I will share my stories and dreams and ask His advice. I will talk to Him about my children and grandchildren and friends and loved ones. I will sing songs to Him with a voice that only He could love. I will thank Him for this beautiful life He has blessed me with and I will sit in the silence of His comfort and~ Be Still.
7/22/2017
Rekindle That LoveSo, I asked my husband last Saturday what outfit I should wear to church the next day. In a "matter of fact" way he responded that he couldn't think of one. I said "Come on, when you think of your favorite outfit on me, what pops into your head?" His answer was still "I can't think of one", then he added "I can't even remember what you wore last Sunday." The funny thing is, he can remember dresses or outfits that he loved while we were dating, (see picture below) he just can't remember last Sunday's outfit. 😂 If it wasn't for the slight smirk on his face, I probably would've gotten upset about this. Instead, I burst out laughing. If I'm going to be completely honest ladies, I didn't remember what he was wearing the week before either.
We remember so much when we first fall in love. We save every love note and memory and can't get enough of each other, but then the years go by and you don't notice as much. You forget what you were wearing yesterday, let alone your spouses outfit from a week ago. God remembers and loves every beautiful thing about us though. Every detail. Every accomplishment. Every good hair day and bad hair day. In fact, He knows the very number of hairs on our heads. Sadly, we can become a lot like an old married couple when it comes to our love for God though. When we first realize how amazing God's love for us is and we accept the gift of His Son, we are so excited that we want to tell everyone. We remember every detail, we are in awe of His love, His words. His peace. His comfort. His presence. But then, time passes and pretty soon that love fades and we aren't so excited. We stop telling others. We might even stop reading His love letter to us and only find ourselves talking to Him when we're in trouble. All the while He is sitting right next to us, patiently waiting for that love to return to how it was in the beginning. He has never moved from our side. His love is constant and unchanging. Just like reading and reminiscing over old love letters from your dating years can rekindle that "first love" feeling~ talking to God throughout your day, getting into the Bible, Gods love letter written just for you, will~ without fail~ rekindle that love you might have lost. You will remember. And your awesome Heavenly Father will hug you and say "I never forgot".
7/15/2017
Before You BlinkToday I babysat all four of my grandchildren. My granddaughters went home but my grandsons spent the night. After a long day, I finally heard the soft breathing of sleeping babies as I tiptoed out of my room and down the hall. I shut the bathroom door and looked up at the Superman pj's hanging there. Within seconds my heart rushed back 20 years and I just wanted to hold those pj's and live in that moment. Does my daughter realize how beautiful this moment in her life is? When she looks at those little pj's does her heart fill with overwhelming love and thankfulness for having this little Superman in her life? Ethan will never be this age again. A little older every day. Every hour. Time goes by so quickly. I'm sure my daughters realize this but just like every mom, when you're in the heart of it you feel like it will never end, there will never be a break. But then you blink. You blink the tears away on their first day of school. Before you know it you're blinking the tears away as they graduate from high school, as they drive off to college, as they say "I do" to the love of their life. The laundry that was never ending and the dishes that were never done. The running to and from sporting events. The clothes and toys that didn't get picked up and the beds that didn't get made. The sleepless nights. The times you hid in the bathroom for just 5 minutes of quiet~ even though 2 minutes in little fists were pounding on the door and your name was being called. The never ending constants. But then you blink. Suddenly there aren't any more sporting events or dishes or beds that need to be made. And some days you sit in their bedroom thinking that it was just yesterday you were rocking your little super hero to sleep. He was snuggled in your arms whispering his love for you with sleepy eyes and a smile. Mama of little ones~ stop what you are doing. Put your phone down. Look at your babies. Hold them, sing to them, read to them, memorize every thing about their tiny little faces. Don't take one second for granted. Play with them, laugh with them, love on them. Just BE with them. Before you blink.
7/8/2017
Sparkling CleanAny time I know I am having people over, I clean like a crazy lady the weekend before and yet, inevitably the day of the visit I suddenly clean and organize areas that I didn't even know existed. 😂 Drawers and cupboards. Nooks and crannys. And the more I start, the worse it gets.
My mind works like this: 1. The weekend before: do a thorough cleaning of the entire house 2. The day before: "hmmm, I better dust again, and mop.....and vacuum" 3. The day of: "what if someone is using the bathroom and gets a little curious? I better clean out all my bathroom drawers. What if someone wants a tour of the house? I better straighten all the closets. What if someone wants something out of the refrigerator or freezer? What if dirty windows is their pet peeve? What if someone spills a drink on themself, needs to wash it, wants to throw it in my dryer...I better make sure my laundry room is straightened too 😳Yes my mind works like that (I warned you I was a little crazy) 🙄 And then I have this conversation with my granddaughters (who are 5 and 3): "Grandma is having company tonight so we are going to be extra careful and neat today." 3 year old Clara nods her head as she's eating her breakfast, drops a piece of pancake, looks down and steps on it. She then looks at me and with her foot still mashing it, tries to push it under the table. In between breakfast and lunch the insect exterminators stop by. They spray every single window that was just washed and advise that I leave the spray on for at least 24 hours. My sparkling windows have more spots than a giraffe. Lunch time rolls around. Clara proudly holds up her plate of grilled cheese crusts and crumbs to show me how neat she left the table, lifts the entire plate above her head, loses her balance and then with eyes the size of saucers just stares at me as everything on the plate falls backward onto the floor that I just vacuumed. If I am not careful, I can let all those little things get the best of me and ruin the joy I had (or wanted to have) in opening my home to others. In sitting and listening and fellowshipping and laughing. In enjoying. In sharing God's love with those who came to visit. It's in those moments leading up to the visit that God always teaches me something valuable. It's not about my house or my cleaning skills, my closets or drawers or freezer or even my laundry room. It's all about Him. No one has a perfect home but we can all have a perfect heart and the only way to achieve that isn't by trying to be a better person, a sinless person. It isn't by working harder and harder because we can never be good enough. We will always find one more thing wrong, just like I do with my home. We can only have that perfect heart through Christ and his gift of salvation. The gift of His very life that He gave for us. Sure we will mess up, just like my sweet little Clara. We will spill the crumbs of our messy life all over that perfectly cleaned heart but just like my love for Clara offers forgiveness to her precious little heart, Christ will continually love and continually keep our hearts clean for us because He knows we can't do it on our own. So I laugh with Clara who tries so very hard and I hug her tight and then I thank my Savior for loving me so much that He keeps the windows of my heart free from the spots of my sin, and because of His Son, sees only a sparkling soul.
7/1/2017
Freedom Really Isn't FreeThis life. This freedom. We take so much for granted. We can lay in our cozy beds each morning with luxuries at our fingertips. Hot coffee. Air conditioning. A smart phone. How do most Americans suffer for freedom? What do we suffer for the cause of Christ? Not much. Sadly, not much at all. Shame on me for so quickly taking it for granted and shame on me for letting any utterance of complaint of this blessed life I live slip from my lips.
I read a devotional recently of a group of ladies that went on a mission trip. The woman who wrote it described a time where she sat on a dirt floor and looked around a tiny one room home with a plastic sheet for a roof and no windows. No appliances. No comfortable beds, smart phones or TV's. No smell of coffee brewing, fresh laundry in the dryer or a roast in the oven. Nothing. She asked the mother of six how they could pray for her and what her greatest need was. Her response? "Please pray for me to teach my children to love the Lord all the days of their lives. That's my greatest need." I looked around my bedroom after I read that and I wept. We are a selfish nation and a selfish people. After all the countless blessings God our Father bestows upon us, we complain when our smartphones need charging or we don't have good wi fi. Some days our greatest need is a more comfortable chair to sit in and watch our huge, flat screen TV's or a higher quality thread count on our King size bed sheets. Our greatest needs ought to be teaching the generation to come to love the Lord all their days. Teaching them what hard work, freedom and sacrifice really mean. Teaching them all about those who came before us and gave their lives so that we can enjoy this life we so easily take for granted. Teaching them that for some, this freedom we enjoy wasn't really free. They gave everything for its cause. What is your greatest need today? |
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