10/23/2021
Your ValidationWhen my daughter was in grade school, another student made an allegation against me that was not true.
My sweet daughter became so upset after hearing the words, that she made sure everyone knew it was a lie. She wanted to defend me because she loved me. Anger was her initial reaction, followed by tears and a phone call from the principal asking me to come in and help settle the disagreement… When you put yourself out there on social media, you have to be prepared for some backlash from time to time. I know this and yet, I am never prepared. This week, when I received not one but two comments on something I posted~ ~initially my heart became angry, and then sad. I knew they weren’t attacking me personally, they were making fun of my relationship with Christ, and it bothered me to my core. I didn’t want to defend “me” or even my post~ I wanted to defend Christ because I knew that what they said was not truth. I wish my simple, inadequate words could somehow convey all He has done in my life. He is everything to me. I was told to grow up, and informed that my life was depressing if Christ was my entire validation. Maybe today you are reading this and thinking those very same thoughts. I know that there is no way for Charisse to convince you otherwise, but I know God can. Even if you don’t believe it. My life is anything but depressing, because He is real in my life. Every time I have felt lost and alone, He showed me that I wasn’t. He never left my side and He always made a way out. His undeniable breakthrough into the sorrows I have helplessly clung to have been little miracles in my life time and time again. To have joy when you think there is no joy to be found. To have peace when your situation is daunting and the world around you is a mess. To have comfort through every diagnosis or loss of a loved one. To have a weight lifted from you that you were sure would drown you in sorrow. To be known when you feel like you don’t even know yourself. To have Someone love and forgive you no matter what you do, or have done, or might do. To have a relationship with a perfect God Who gave His life for you. Yes, my identity is in Jesus. Yes He is real in my life. Yes, every single thing my eye beholds is a blessing from His hands. That is my truth. I have pondered all of this and come to the conclusion that there are people who refuse to believe such a relationship can exist~or choose to believe it, but fear holds them back from defending it. People who have learned how to mask pain. How to push away negative feelings by staying busy or finding a cause to work for, a charity to give to or a medication to make it all better. I guarantee if you sit still long enough you will realize that there is something missing deep down in your soul. The pretense of a strong identity and self worth cannot cover up the void that dwells in the deep, innermost parts of your being. We are a generation of people that look for joy in everything around us so that we don’t have to face our inner emptiness, and then with a plastered on smile of pretend confidence we try to convince ourselves and others that we have it all together. Until Christ becomes your Redeemer, there will always be an emptiness. He is the only one who can fill it. My words can never fully illustrate the majesty and glory of being fully known and loved by Jesus. Knowing Him and being known of Him is the life He always intended for you. And then there are those who claim to believe this. They hear the mockery this world throws at the very One who took their sins upon Himself when He died on the cross, yet refuse to acknowledge that the world’s view and allegations couldn’t be further from the truth. Fear triumphs over faith. The world’s perception of them becomes more important than the beautiful perfection of a relationship with Christ. Allow me to give you a truth to hold on to~ it’s a lot easier defending someone you deeply love than defending yourself and the more love you have for that person, the easier it becomes to defend them. Fear becomes present when we lose sight of Who it is we are defending. The situation with my daughter and her classmates was quickly resolved. The student admitted to lying and justice was momentarily restored. Was that the last time something like that has ever happened? No. And because of social media, I am sure things like that will continue to happen. But my daughter’s love for me that day triumphed over any concerns she had on how she was perceived~ and I will never forget that. Today I want you to know truth because I love you, but more importantly because God loves you. Because I want you to experience the love of God in your own heart. In the middle of your hurts and in the middle of your happiness. To know a true and lasting joy that cannot be explained with the mere words of my pen. A joy unspeakable and full of glory. That’s what I want for you. The incredible, sacrificial love of Jesus~ the only validation of our existence. I Peter 1:3-9
8/21/2021
That Woman Isn’t MeThrough the years I have heard many sermons on *John 16:21 and I have to be honest, each time I’ve heard one I felt a little shame. Am I the only mom who remembers?
I get the joy part, no problem~ but forgetting the pain in childbirth?? I don’t know what mother that is, but it’s definitely not me. That woman must be a superhero. I can remember every detail. When both of my daughters went into labor, I may or may not have experienced sympathy pains! (I’m joking 🤔Haha) I can remember when we arrived at the hospital, ready for our first born to be delivered. Mike and I could hear a woman screaming in the room next to us. It literally sounded like she was being murdered, I kid you not. I’m sure my eyes looked like saucers when I glanced over at my husband. 😳 No one warned me about pain that horrifying. I don’t think that woman ever forgot HER pain, I don’t care HOW cute her child was. The more I contemplated that age old saying, the more I realized the truth of it. I might remember my labor pain like it was yesterday, but today~that pain doesn’t define me and I am not stuck there. Sure it hurt like nobody’s business (especially having my first two with no medication at all), but it wasn’t horrifying, murderous pain. It lasted for a moment in time and today I see all the beautiful joy wrapped around it, just like Jesus talks about. And that’s the key. It’s the key to so many situations in our life. We just have to put that key into the lock and turn it, opening the door to God’s unlimited, joy filled promises and inviting them into our hearts, souls and minds. The key is joy. Retraining our brains to find the joy in every situation. If we could do that, I think our lives would be drastically different. Instead we have turned ourselves into a bunch of Negative Nancy’s, victims and martyrs in our own minds. Sadly, the next generation isn’t going to be any better. Every bad scenario is the end of the world, and we make sure everyone knows about it. Too often we turn petty little complaints into prayer requests, seeking the pity of others instead of looking to Jesus for everything and finding His joy through everything. This is not the life God intended us to live. God intended us to live a life of joy, shining so that others could see His glory. Shining so that others want that joy that lives inside of us. Again, that woman wasn’t me. When I was younger and the “hard” hit, I was always the victim. Poor Charisse. Look how busy she is, look how hard her life is, look at all she’s going through. From years of fighting a disease I didn’t know I had, having Epstein Barr and mono 5 times, dealing with allergy ridden babies, sleepless nights, many moves, heartbreaking deaths, sick children, hospital stays and cancer scares. I have always made myself the victim. I still get drawn into that mentality and I can probably count on one hand the number of times I truly looked for joy in my “bad” situations. If I had, it would’ve changed my life. My husband would have had a different wife and my children could’ve seen a different mama. They would have had a completely different perspective on life. Yet, God is faithful. He is merciful. Every day is a new start. He doesn’t hold my old victim mentality against me and despite me, His glory has shown through my children a thousand times over. Today, I want to encourage you to find the joy. Look for joy in every single thing. If you truly look, with your heart open to all of God’s promises, promises that will never fail, you will find it. I’m not trying to say that life isn’t hard. The death of a loved one is excruciating. Cancer scares are hard, continual sickness is overwhelming. Pain and sorrow can truly break us. Sometimes they are harder than we ever imagined. Days where we don’t think we can make it through. When you don’t have the answers, when your heart begs to know why, these are the days you beg God for a glimpse of that joy. These are the days you beg God for His peace and comfort. These are the days you hold onto that truth that Jesus is the author and finisher of your faith, you are not. These are the days you look ahead and in His strength know that you will conquer. You will overcome because~ HE WILL NOT FAIL. Maybe today life for you is good. You’re smiling and things couldn’t be better. I encourage you to start small~ If you stub your toe (ie-if I hadn’t stubbed my toe, I would’ve tripped on that rug and broken my ankle 🤷🏼♀️)~look for the joy. If you’re stuck in traffic (ie- this is the alone time I was begging God for, after complaining about not having enough time with Him)~look for the joy. Look and you will find it. If you retrain your brain to look for the joy in the little things, soon you will see that even on your worst day~you will find it. Because Jesus is that joy and when you’re holding on to Him, His joy floods your heart and soul with comfort and peace. Finding joy in the bad does not come easy for me. Sometimes I want to park there and just feel sorry for myself, but all the times I thought it was the end of the world proved otherwise. None of them were as bad as I had allowed my mind to think in the moment. The older I get, the more I realize this and the more I want to encourage others in this area, especially young women and moms just starting out. That phrase- “this too shall pass” can certainly be irritating when you’re in the thick of it, but it really is truth. Horrifying labor pains and all. Sorrow might be there for a while, but joy always comes, it’s just waiting for you to invite it in. * “A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.” John 16:21
7/23/2021
Choose To BelieveMy husband and I are spending the week with our 5 grandchildren. It’s definitely a reality check for a grandma who is used to quiet mornings with only her coffee and Jesus. The three boys form a pack of rambunctious early risers. On the other hand, the girls love to sleep, just like their grandma. Every time I babysit I gain more empathy for mamas of little ones who can’t seem to get even a minute in God’s word before the sun hits the horizon. It is now Thursday and I’m wondering how I’ll get a chance to have one conversation with the Lord, let alone write this post. At the moment I am hiding out in the bathroom. 😂 So, last night at midnight I lay in bed with all kinds of ideas about what I wanted to write. I preset my coffee pot to be ready when I woke. I would grab my coffee in the morning and sneak back to my bedroom first thing while my husband kept them occupied. Nope. I stumbled out of bed half asleep after a rather sleepless night, walked into the tiny kitchen in the cabin only to find my coffee pot empty and the counter top and floor covered in hot coffee and coffee grounds. You’d think the pot exploded. I still don’t know what happened. I immediately wanted to cry. I am NOT a morning person. I NEEDED that coffee and I NEEDED Jesus. And I needed it BEFORE the kids woke up. I almost gave in. I’m sure that exactly what Satan wanted. Thankfully Jesus did not allow me to lose it. He reminded me in that moment that I had a choice~ the very topic I had planned to write about… A few phrases have come up quite often this week. The first being~ ”What were you thinking?” to the precious grandchild of mine who runs out into parking lots when we say WAIT. And to that same grandchild who gets into an elevator with our youngest and to our horror~pushes the button as we come running. Yep. The elevator doors closed. And then there’s the phrase my 3 year old grandson seems to use All. THE. TIME~ ”I can do it myself”. We know they can’t do it themselves, yet we try to muster up the patience to wait and wait and then wait some more~only to lose that patience and say “Just let me do it!” or have them come to us in frustrated tears, asking for help. Ironically, we turn around and try to encourage our children by cheering them on with the phrase~”YOU CAN DO IT!!” That has to be so confusing to a little 3 year old. I find myself thinking about what I would feel like if God were this way with me. What if God was like grandma? What if God lost His patience and asked me “what were you thinking?” I can’t even count the number of times I have decided I can do things on my own and end up messing up over and over and over. What if God lost It with me? Or what if I do hear Him cheering me on with truths from His word~ truths like “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” And yet still find myself trying to do it alone and failing miserably, until I finally ask for help. In the last few months God has been working on me and the choices I make. He has opened my eyes to all the seemingly normal irritations we allow and then blame on genetics or DNA. How utterly ridiculous that for the past 50 plus years I have allowed Satan to convince me that I am not a morning person and I do not have a choice in my overall morning attitude because it’s just how I’m wired. Morning equals miserable. That’s so silly! When I think about all the ways that I must drive God crazy, I can get very down on myself. I find myself asking~ Charisse what were you thinking? But then God shows me what HE is thinking with the one phrase I have heard more than any other this week~ “I love you”. When the day is done and sleepiness lays heavy in the air, when snuggles ensue and I brush away their hair to kiss them softly on the forehead… when they whisper “I love you grandma.”~ Oh the beautiful power those words hold. That is when God squeezes me heart. It’s in that moment that I see my humanness and how easily I made the choice to become frustrated… but I also see God, because it’s in that very moment that I know I would choose this time with my grandchildren a thousand times over. I would do anything in the world for them~ Because I love them too. More than my words could ever express. I am so thankful that even after 56 years of choosing to allow my mind to get the better of me, of choosing to try and do things on my own without asking God for help, in choosing to believe it’s just normal to be miserable now and then (or possibly every single morning of those 56 years) that God’s words express His love for me in astoundingly beautiful ways. I am so thankful that as my head hits the pillow and sleepiness lays heavy in the air God kisses my forehead with peace and whispers to my childish heart over and over again~ “I love you.” Oh the power those words hold. ….What was my choice early this morning? My choice was to believe Him.
5/22/2021
Your Miracle ZoneI had a heart to heart with Jesus last night.
Around midnight my husband’s pager went off. I always feel uneasy when his pager goes off, especially in the middle of the night. Not only is my husband a firefighter, two of my son in laws are as well. It was only minutes after he rushed out that I heard a loud explosive sound in my backyard. I quickly jumped out of bed and grabbed my phone to call him. And then it happened again, even louder than the first time. My whole backyard looked like it was on fire. We lost electricity and the sky grew dark again. My heart felt like it was beating outside of my chest. Within seconds the fire truck showed up. I sat at the top of my stairwell in the dark, looking out at my backyard, watching and listening as the firefighters got out, and with flashlights began to assess the area. They had complete faith in their training and fire gear and I was in awe. I watched those brave men outside and wondered if they might step on something electrical or worse, have the whole incident happen again. To be honest, I was scared. As I sat there watching, I started thinking about all the stupid things I’ve allowed myself to be scared of my entire adult married life. Compared to this moment, they seemed so insignificant. So many things flooded my mind, but one stood out above the others~ I’ve been holding out on God because of pride. All these years I’ve been blaming so many things on the fact that I’m “shy” and I’m an “introvert”. For the longest time, I wouldn’t willingly walk up and converse with people at church or around town and I always blamed it on my shyness. God brought something to the forefront of my mind as I sat in that stairwell last night. Lately Facebook has been prompting me to do a video for my Holding Hope page so that followers could “get to know me”. I felt this nudge from God every time I got that notification. I know that this generation is drawn more to visual than written word. It’s easier to watch or even listen than to read. I also know that it is a marketing ploy on Facebook’s behalf and due to my shyness, my response has always been “no way”. I have an extremely hard time doing video chats with my own children let alone recording myself for a bunch of strangers. I tend to be overly critical and find every flaw, not to mention the fact that when you’re recording, you’re pretty much talking to yourself on camera. I don’t know how this generation can do it so easily. I chalked it up to their self love and prided myself on my humbleness. And that’s exactly what Jesus pointed out to me last night~ I was proud of my humbleness, when in reality I wasn’t being humble at all. I was just proud. It’s a lot easier to speak up for God behind a pen and paper or a social media post, but the minute you put your face out there you become vulnerable. I was scared of that vulnerability. My fear was this~ I was afraid of what people would think of me. Bottom line. Pride. Not because I’m shy. Not because I’m an introvert. Because I’m scared of the opinions of others and what they will think of how I look, talk and act. Sadly it wasn’t a fear of how I would represent the Lord, it was a fear of how people perceived Charisse. I forgot the very important fact that God is within me and by my side and by hiding behind my pride and the false identity of shyness, I was hiding His glory and all the joy He brings to my life. The next morning as I read His word, three verses popped out. (1 John 1:4, 2 John 1:12, 3 John 1:4) I thought about how much joy writing for this blog brings me. I thought about how much joy each one of you brings to my life. As I go through notifications, I pray for names of women I will most likely never meet, but it gives me joy to do so. It gives me so much incredible joy to share the hope of God. It brings joy to tell you how He can change your life forever. I don’t want to quench that joy. I don’t want to suppress it. I want it to multiply to all of you. If that means following the nudge of God, stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something new, then I know I can do it because God will be with me. I don’t ever want people to see Charisse in my posts or conversations. I always want them to see Christ. So what is the point in my rambling and confessions? I guess to just encourage all of you to examine your own hearts. What are you allowing to hold you back? God’s word promises us that He will always be with us. It’s His training through His word that will sustain and carry us through. If He asks it of us, He will provide every measure of strength we need. Look for God’s leading in your life. Don’t be scared. If He is leading, He’s right there with you and He will continue to be with you every step of the way. Yes, I am an introvert. I am shy. I’m not a people person and it’s very hard to put myself out there~but I can’t lean on that crutch for every situation in my life that feels uncomfortable. I have to step out on faith. Just like my brave firefighter husband, son in laws and friends did last night. And in the process, you might just see some videos in the near future 😉 Philippians 1:6
4/9/2021
Laughter And Abundant LifeI blame my children.
I don’t ever recall having bladder issues pre-kids. It all went downhill after my first child was born. My bladder seemed to have shrunk to the size of a pea. During my third and fourth pregnancies, my husband happened to be working as the Assistant Pastor to a very close friend. His wife and I became great buddies. Laughter continually permeated that friendship and ironically, we always seemed to be pregnant together. We knew where every public restroom was within a 100 mile radius. On one particular instance, we were on our way home from a fun shopping excursion and both of us had to use the bathroom. At the time I did not know I was pregnant, but she knew that she was. We were only a few miles from home so we decided to wait. Why did we wait????? Seconds later we were in a minor car accident. She ended up on a stretcher with a neck brace, all because she told the police officer she was pregnant. The EMT’s were called and she was strapped down. I got to ride along in the ambulance. Even though she told them how desperately she needed to go to the bathroom, they would not let her get up. The minute she was on a bed in the emergency room, I told her how much I loved her and with a smirk abandoned her and ran down the hall to find the nearest restroom. I could hear her calling after me~ “this IS NOT fair!!!”... I almost peed my pants laughing. Now we can both laugh at that story, even more so knowing that I found out a few days later I was also pregnant. I should’ve been on a stretcher next to her. So, what is my application in all of this? When I first started typing these words, I honestly did not know. Here are some things I do know~ Every single second of our life has God’s hand all over it. He knows exactly what’s going to happen as you take your next breath. He knows what’s going to happen tonight, tomorrow, next month and next year. He even knows what’s going to happen 28 years from now (the age of my fourth child who had a part in all of this) He has a reason for everything. He even has a reason for you reading this right now. It seems like this past year the entire world has become so serious and focused on all the bad, that I’m afraid we’ve carried that over into our personal lives as well. We get so busy with our schedules and agendas and life in general that when interruptions come that we aren’t expecting, we get irritated and even angry. Smiles and laughter have become the exception instead of the rule. This is what a pandemic and politics have done to us. A dark cloud looms over us continually. That’s not what God ever intended our lives to look like. He intended our lives to be filled with joy and laughter and abundant life. So, why am I telling you my story? It was a huge inconvenience for both of us pregnant women. We did not want to be stuck in a hospital all afternoon. We did not want to be in literal pain because we had to go to the bathroom SO BAD. But, I can look back at that moment in time and smile. I can even laugh. And 28 years later I can listen to my daughter’s complain about the over abundance of my use of public restrooms, (when the reality of the situation is that it’s their fault to begin with) and inwardly chuckle. Their day is coming. I am not trying to downplay the circumstances of this last year, but circumstances should not control us. God should. His joy should. His peace should. His sovereignty should. Satan comes to steal and destroy. God came to give us abundant life. So, maybe I do know the lesson in this story. The lesson is, there is no lesson. It’s a small, insignificant story in my life that makes me smile. A story that I wanted to share so that you could smile along with me, and maybe even laugh. If you find yourself getting angry or sad over the suffocating circumstances of this present world, all you need do is look back and remember all the good. All the laughter. All the joy. Remember all the funny stories God has blessed your life with. We don’t need to know why everything happens. Perhaps certain things happen solely for God’s pleasure. Maybe God knew that as I prayed this morning I needed a smile, so He brought that random memory to my mind and I laughed out loud. That laughter in the remembering. And maybe the only reason He made sure we didn’t use the bathroom before getting into that vehicle 28 years ago was to make YOU smile TODAY, to bring laughter into YOUR life. Because that’s what kind of God He is. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,” Ephesians 1:3, 5 “Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me, Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure:” Isaiah 46:9-10 “Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Luke 12:32 “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.” Philippians 2:13 “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10 “Behold, this is the joy of his way, and out of the earth shall others grow. Till he fill thy mouth with laughing, and thy lips with rejoicing.” Job 8:19, 21
3/6/2021
Fight For HappinessOld seemed so far away.
I was on vacation. Laying in the sand, soaking up the sun, listening to the waves. Getting browner by the minute, and loving every second of it. I took my young body for granted. Never worrying about what I ate or didn’t eat, never worried about joints aching or not being able to open jars. Never worried about wrinkles or skin cancer. Those thoughts never once entered my mind. Yes I took life for granted. And then I had a few kids, and pretty soon I realized these kids really, truly needed me. I loved them with an ache that could not be compared to anything I’d ever experienced. And suddenly, I was worried about skin cancer and what I ate or didn’t eat. As I lifted each child, as I hauled a baby around on my hip that supported a pregnant belly above it, I no longer took that body for granted. I lathered on sunscreen and wrinkle cream. I took vitamins and ate healthier. I spent more time in God’s word instead of magazines with beautiful models on their covers. I began to see things differently as each year went by. Pretty soon my arms and hands were lifting boxes as each child moved into their new homes. I was unpacking kitchen utensils and bathroom necessities for them. I was helping hang pictures and making up beds in their new bedrooms. Bedrooms that were no longer above me upstairs. And later in the evening I was rubbing medicinal cream on achey joints and back muscles. I was missing them. And I was remembering. I was remembering a young 20 year old basking in the sun. Unpacking boxes in her new apartment. Welcoming each child into her heart and home, and taking so much for granted. And I whispered thank you to Jesus. Because I never really realized all He gave me, and I took so much of it for granted. I determined that I no longer would. And I was watching my dad before he passed. How slowly he moved. How hard it was for him to see like he used to. How easily he tired. And yet, he still smiled. He still laughed. He still enjoyed life. And I felt young again. And I knew that every day would be a gift. Every day would hold beauty. Every day would be a day I would look back on with either happiness or sorrow, and every day I would fight for that happiness. And I would tell you~ don’t take it for granted. Cherish every single minute of every single day and thank Jesus for it, because it goes by so quickly. Thank God for your young self. Don’t take your body for granted. Thank God for that body and all it’s able to do. Thank God for His word and the wisdom it gives you each and every day. Thank God for your children and for achey joints and backs, because you were able to help them. Because they still needed you. Thank God that you miss them~ because He gave you so much beauty to miss. Thank God and don’t ever take another minute of another day of your beautiful life for granted again. When was the last time you laughed?
I mean really, truly laughed, holding nothing back. Laughed until you cried and your sides hurt and you couldn’t breathe? Do you remember the freedom in that? Feeling like just for a moment all the cares of the world were pushed aside and you were free to let go and experience unfiltered joy? (Luke 6:21, Psalm 126:2) If you cannot recall a time like this, perhaps you are living inside circumstances of sorrow, whatever that sorrow might be. Maybe you didn’t even realize you were residing there, until you thought about how long it had been since you laughed in such a way. Maybe you’re sitting in circumstances of your own choosing or maybe you have no control over the sorrow that has enveloped your life. Whatever the case, I don’t want you to be stuck there and more importantly, God doesn’t want you stuck there. A life of being stuck in sorrow is not His plan for you. I’ve looked back at articles I’ve written and realized that I can be a bit emotional at times. When God moves my heart so tremendously, it stirs a deep passion within me to want to share that with others. Phrases I often use are: God loves you so much. God is always with you. God will help you through anything. Allow Him to hold you. Cry out to Him. All of these things are true, but might leave the reader feeling lost and questioning~ but how? And so today, we’re going to start with the first 3 points on our journey through circumstances to joy. I’m going to show you some things that God has used in my own life to pull me out of my sorrow and help me see hope in the joy before me. 1. If you read my Ebook you know that my first point is always the same. The difference in how this point is applied often depends on the circumstances we are in. Whatever the circumstances are, this will always be the most important thing you can do. Ask God for help. (Matthew 11:28-30, Galatians 5:22a) I will never stop asking, even when I know deep in my heart that there are things I need to change. When I know that I should be implementing the steps in this article on a daily basis, but I don’t. When I am too emotionally and physically exhausted to push through and do those things, I continually just talk to God all day long. Even on those days that I fool myself into thinking joy will never come again, so “what’s the point?”~there is one thing I know to be true no matter what~ He will never leave me. He won’t abandon me. He will pull me through this. The Holy Spirit will minister to my heart and comfort me, even when life feels hopeless and joy feels far. God is always trying to help us but too often our circumstances tune Him out. Never stop asking God to help you, even if you feel like He is silent. He is helping you without you even realizing it. (John 14:16,18, Zephaniah 3:17, Isaiah 26:3&4 2. Realize that when you ask for help, the circumstances that follow are God’s way of helping you~you just need to open your eyes to see it. You know what usually makes me happy? Predictable, mundane, day in, day out schedules. Being in control. Knowing that each day holds its tasks and at the end of that day Mike and I will relax on the couch. Maybe we will talk or watch a few of our favorite shows. We will laugh, we’ll go to bed, I will feel fulfilled with what I accomplished that day. I’m that kind of person. I’m a schedule and list maker. I thrive on routine. I’m a control freak. If my house isn’t cleaned up and straightened at night with everything in its place, I can’t relax. I feel uneasy and unhappy. This need to be in control is just as bad as looking at material things for happiness. I’m looking at “the control I think I have over situations” to make me happy and last March when life went out of control and spiraled downwards month after month into continual heartbreak, I lost all control and my happiness along with it. I yearn for predictable and mundane. It’s how I’m wired. The past 3 weeks have been anything but. My dad passed away unexpectedly in October. Working on packing up his things has only been part of the “crazy busy” my life has been. Long days have gone into long evenings right into early mornings and the crazy busy beginning all over again. I found myself thinking I just want a normal day at home. I want to do some laundry, bake some cookies, clean my house, sit in front of my cozy fire drinking coffee or just watch TV! But as I complained about that busyness and thought about my prayer for help, the Holy Spirit showed me that because I have been so busy I haven’t had time to just sit and think. Usually “the sitting and thinking” leads to “the missing and crying”. As my head hit the pillow each night I realized I was so exhausted that I fell asleep quickly, as opposed to laying in the dark crying. And I knew it was God. God was helping me. It might not have been a way I would’ve chosen, it certainly wasn’t an easy way, but it was God’s way and it worked. He knows my crazy, emotional, over thinker brain far better than I do. (Psalm 139:2) Jesus is continually going to God on our behalf and I now wonder how many times through the years I missed the answers to the prayers I had prayed, just because they weren’t the solution I was looking for. (Romans 8:34, Hebrews 7:25) 3. Stop listening to yourself (John 15:11) If God in all His wisdom did not intervene and answer my cries for help, I would be overthinking everything. My emotions are continually telling my brain that things will never change. Because I’m such an emotional person, I too often let my emotions dictate my life. I think all women~ whether they want to admit it or not~ are emotional. Our lovely hormones play a big part in that. When my emotions begin to dictate what my life story is, I start to believe it. I don’t like to admit this, but quite often since my dad died I have been scared. Not scared as in fearful, but scared as in “this unshakeable heaviness and lonely feeling.” Scared as in “this dark cloud of sadness will never go away. I will never see joy again.” The beginning of each day seems to be promising as I open God’s words to me and pray, but as the day slowly creeps by and thoughts bombard my mind, as my emotions kick me over and over again~ I feel as if God is very far away. That scares me. These are the times that we must realize our thoughts are not God’s thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9, Psalms 94:19), Even if we are struggling to believe it, we must go back to point number 1 and talk it out with God. Stop listening to ourselves and listen to what God is speaking over us. (Philippians 3:3) His words are truth, our emotions are not. He isn’t far away. He isn’t there only in the times we set aside to kneel and pray. He is our constant companion. A friend that sticks closer than a brother. A comforter and peace maker. He is the ONLY One who understands with 100% clarity and compassion what our heart is going through. (Psalms 139:1-18, Philippians 2:5, 4:6-7, 2 Timothy 1:7, Proverbs 16:3, Luke 2:10, John 15:11) You can’t simply “choose joy” without God. You can’t wake up and just decide “Starting today, I’m going to be happy” without God. Our strength is not enough. It will never be enough. It doesn’t matter what kind of a personality you have, Satan knows your weakness and he will find a way to steal that joy. Only Jesus is the strength of our joy. Pray about these first few points this week. Ask God to open your heart and your eyes and show you what you’ve been missing. (Nehemiah 8:10) I am so confident in the strength and power of God’s truths and the joy they speak over our circumstances, that I am adding a second post today. Scripture that you can print out and continually read throughout your day to comfort and encourage your heart. You can have freedom from sorrow. You can laugh again~deep, heartfelt, freeing laughter from the depths of your soul. Laughter that comes from unfiltered joy. Laughter that only comes from God and the joy that only Jesus gives. Make that your goal this week. JOY. How can I get my joy back?
If I was asked this question a year ago, I would have been very confident in how I responded. Today I don’t know. I guess that isn’t 100% true, sometimes I just “feel” like I don’t know. My emotions feel like a jumble of “I don’t knows”. Even though there are a lot of good answers on how to find joy, I can tell you this, not all circumstances merit that cliche answer many people like to throw out there. ie~ “choose joy”. It isn’t always that simple. The “fake it till you make it” mentality doesn’t work when it comes to joy. Sure we can change our attitudes and mindset to reflect happiness, but in some circumstances the darkness is still buried deep inside, no matter our good intentions . The good news is, there is Someone Who will always be our answer. THE answer to every heartbreaking circumstance this world throws at you. Jesus~ first and foremost. Actually, only Jesus. The end. He’s the answer. Joy=Jesus. God obviously knew that our human hearts would still struggle. He knows our frame. (Psalms 103:13-14) He is our strength through every circumstance. We’re the ones who forget. So he gave us His word. The Bible. And in it we find a wealth of wisdom on how to find joy. The hard part is applying that wisdom to our everyday lives. How do you find joy when you’ve lost more loved ones in the last year than ever before? How do you find joy after coming home from a heart wrenching funeral of the dearest friend, only to find your precious daddy gone without warning the very next day? How do you smile when your heart hurts terribly for friends and loved ones going through their own heart wrenching moments? Sickness, job loss, accidents, affairs, abusive relationships, death. When sleep won’t come because you can’t stop hurting for them? Or for yourself? When you feel like joy and Jesus are very far away? And in the unexpected moments when you do catch yourself smiling and feel a little spark of that joy, you immediately feel guilt along with it. Our little church has been bombarded with heartache lately. Truly tough stuff. It’s knocked the air out of our lungs as my husband and I try to minister. Last week I woke up feeling like this heavy cloud was hanging over my life. Our lives. I just wanted everything to stop. I wanted to sit in front of my cozy fire, oblivious to my circumstances and forget everything. I wanted to smile again. I wanted to go back to when things were predictable and happy. When I woke up feeling that way, I could almost picture that black cloud hovering above me and all I could utter was~ “God please help me.” And He did. God immediately reminded me of the story in the Old Testament about the children of Israel wandering in the wilderness for 40 years. (You can read about it here~Exodus 13:21-22, 40:34-38, Numbers 9:15-23, Psalms78:14) If you’re not familiar, God led them with a cloud by day. The moment God brought that picture into my head felt like freedom. God was in that cloud. It was His reminder to me that He is always with me, even in the dark clouds hanging over my life. He is in control and despite feeling hopeless, He is in that cloud protecting and guiding me. Not only did God lead and protect them with a cloud by day, He also gave them a pillar of fire by night. Just as I longed for my predictable life and the comfort of sitting next to my cozy fire, I saw that pillar of fire that God provided as comfort too. (John 14:8) If you continue digging deeper into God’s words you will find that the pillar of cloud and fire were continually leading and when they stopped, the people were to stop and set up God’s tabernacle. That tabernacle was God’s gracious presence. A place to reside for a time. A home. A dwelling place. God showed me that He is always leading. Sometimes my moments might feel cozy, warm and comfortable and other times I might feel like a dark cloud is parked over every facet of my existence. That’s when God wants me to stop. Stop wandering on my own and just be home with Him in His beautiful presence, beside the still waters (Psalms 23) and among the peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7) . He tells me I can stay as long as I need because He will never leave. (Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5) He is my dwelling place no matter what circumstances look like all around me. (Psalms 46:1-2, 91:1-9) Despite that phenomenal story of God’s leading in the Old Testament, His children still complained. They were still afraid. They wanted to go back to their predictable lives back in Egypt, even though they were slaves in that predictable existence. They missed all the beauty that was ahead for them. All that God had prepared for them. I don’t want to miss the beauty God has ahead for me. I don’t want to just exist and be a slave to my circumstances. I don’t want you to miss God’s beauty either. That dark cloud that you might feel is constantly looming overhead, that cloud is guiding you. Whatever your cloud might be, God is in it. In the next few weeks I would like to take you on a journey with me. The journey to find joy again. I want to help you to see that God is in that cloud. I want to show you specific ways God has shown me how to find joy again, despite the deeply sorrowful circumstances we might be in. I want to share with you my Savior’s solutions. He is there. Don’t let go of that hope. Joy will come again. My heart is glad. My whole being rejoices. My flesh rests in hope. (Psalm 16:7-11, 30:5, 34:17-19, Isaiah 41:10)
1/16/2021
Run and PlayIn that moment, I saw God.
Not an angry God. Not a disappointed God. A forgiving God. A loving God. A God full of joy. Let me take you there... My grandson’s big blue eyes held a lot of fear for such a little guy. He was confessing to his parents. He was asking for forgiveness. You see, moments before in Sunday school I had taught a lesson on that very subject. Forgiveness. His little 5 year old mind couldn’t seem to grasp the concept, so I made up a story to illustrate. A fictional story about him, a little boy who broke something of his moms without her knowing. The little boy hid what he broke, but later that night as he lay in bed his heart seemed to hurt. He knew he had to tell her what he had done. He needed to confess. So he went to her bedroom and explained everything. With tears he told her he was sorry and asked her to please not be mad for what he had done. He asked for forgiveness. As I told that fictional story his eyes seemed to increase in size with every detail, and then I found out why. He told me his own story. We both decided it was something he needed to confess to his parents. So here we were, in the front pew after church. With his sweet little lisp he spoke- “Last summer, I climbed up on top of the shelves in the garage and reached for some of your pottery and one piece fell and broke... so I buried it in the dirt behind the garage. I’m sorry”. There was no hesitation in his parent’s reaction. They could see his repentance. He was their child. They smiled (and almost laughed) they pulled him close and hugged him and told him he was forgiven. And with childlike faith, it was over. He smiled and ran to play. In that moment I saw forgiveness. I saw freedom and release. I saw unconditional love. Little Gabe did not carry that weight with him. He let it go and with unabashed joy he laughed and played as if it never happened, and in amazement I watched it all unfold. This 55 year old grandma was reminded again of the love my Father has for me. This was God. Our Father. How often do we feel the weight of guilt for the things we have done? How often do we worry that God is angry with us? We might try to hide our sin, or we might recognize it, repent and ask for forgiveness, but deep down we struggle with believing that our past truly can be forgiven. We might view God as an angry God who expects perfection and if we don’t measure up, punishment will ensue. But this is not God at all. Our God is the God of that little child. You are that child. He is our God full of mercy, grace and love. Our “It is finished” Father. Our God who wants us to have faith as a little child. To leave it all with Him and to experience the freedom, joy and peace of repentance and forgiveness. At times I think we make it too hard. We’re human and we tend to look at God as if He were human too. He holds no grudges as we do. Whether it’s broken pottery or a broken past, with absolutely no hesitation He pulls us close and hugs us. He tells us~ “It is finished my child~ All has already been forgiven”. With the beauty this knowledge holds, how can we not be filled with unadulterated, pure joy in that freedom? Our Father is smiling down at us~ let us run and play again. No thought of the past. No fear of the future. As little children. Children full of faith in the love and forgiveness of our heavenly Father. Psalm 103:12 Romans 5:20b Hebrews 7:25 I John 1:7, 9 II Corinthians 5:21
1/4/2021
Finding The Good In The GrievingFINDING THE GOOD IN THE GRIEVING
I realize this is a very long post, but I ask you to bear with me because once again, I’m going to be brutally honest here and admit some things I’m dealing with. Things I don’t want to think about, let alone write about. But things that God has given me to help me through this. Steps that I think can truly help others. I know many of you have been anticipating 2021 since March of 2020. It’s been a year of horrors, and people desperately need to believe everything will change for the better in the coming year. But I am struggling. Thanksgiving and Christmas~ decorating shopping, wrapping, baking, Hallmark movies and Christmas music~ all of these things masked the deep ache of grief in my heart. I didn’t want to face it just like I don’t want to face 2021. I don’t want to move forward. My heart wants to go back in time. I’m facing the responsibilities that go along with losing your last parent. Packing up a lifetime of memories my dad held on to. My memories. I don’t want to go through his drawers and cupboards and make the hard decisions on what gets thrown away, or given away, or kept. I want to keep it all, right down to the tape dispenser and air freshener he recently purchased. No, my heart doesn’t want to move forward. Instead, I want to go back in time and just sit with him there in his living room. Laughing about something funny my grandchildren did. Sharing a chocolate. Reminiscing. I want to see his red Jeep outside my front door as he stops by for his daily check in. Always smiling. I want to tell him one more time how much I love him. I know many of you are in the same boat. This year has taken so many loved ones. The heartbreak has been unfathomable. In the past 5 months I’ve written 7 posts on a variety of things that can change your life for the better. Today my own heart longs to be changed. I don’t want to be sad. I don’t want to mask the pain with busyness or superficial happiness. I don’t want to continue to push it down into the recesses of my soul and pretend it isn’t there, always looming over me like a black cloud. I don’t want to dwell on “what if’s” and “could have been’s”. So how? How do I move past this deep ache of grief? I understand that everyone deals with grief differently. My own personality does not want to read someone else’s words on how to deal with grief. The devil knows this. He knows our personalities and he will use our own deceitful hearts against us. (Jeremiah 17: 9) He tricks me into believing that I am unique in my pain and no one can possibly understand enough to write anything that will help. But he is wrong. God has continually been tugging at my heart. He will never leave me. (Hebrews 13:5b) He will not give up on me~ even when I feel like giving up on me. He is always whispering to my sadness~”I am right here Charisse.” (Romans 8:38&39) And so, today I want to share some simple things God has used to comfort me. I am a work in progress. My words are not the ‘end all’ solution. They are a day by day choice. Every single day has new challenges and I know I am facing some even harder ones in the coming weeks. 1. Ask God for help- As I have said in my previous ‘life changing’ posts, my number 1 tip will always, always, always be to ask God for help. You will never conquer the next 6 steps if you do not take this very first one. (Psalms 16:11, Romans 8:26, John 14:16-18, 26, I Peter 5:7) 2. Stay in Gods word- The minute I slip away and allow other things to come before, or even replace my time spent talking to God or reading His word is the minute the heartbreaking grief takes control. (John 15:11, I Thessalonians 5:17) Every morning I must get out of bed and choose joy. (Nehemiah 8:10) Choose God, His words, His promises, His peace. Some days when I wake up I just know it’s going to be a good day. I smile. I tell myself I can do this. Other mornings, I just want to hide under the covers and sleep the day away so I don’t have to deal. I don’t know why one morning can be so different from the next, but these are the days that I must choose wisely. I must choose God. Which takes me back to point number 1. I cannot do this in my own strength, so on days like this I cry out to Him and ask Him to help me. Some days I am silently begging Him for help over and over and over again. Even though the day may feel like it was the worst day ever, when I lay my head on my pillow that night I realize I made it through, but only because of Him. If we could see our lives the way God can~if we could understand how horrible things would have been without His continuing presence~we would realize that even on our worst days He was right there with us and got us through it. (Jeremiah 33:3) Tomorrow is a new day. (Psalms 118:24) 3. Face your grief- as much as I don’t want to, I have realized that I cannot pretend my dad is just gone visiting my brothers. I cannot push the pain down deep and not think about it, because in doing so the pain will remain debilitating. I must face it, and in facing it a myriad of other steps come into play. 4. Cry. Talk it out. Ask for help and prayer- We should not feel shame for the grief we are going through. We do not have to pretend we have it all together. We need to cry and not bottle everything inside. This is an area I have a hard time with. I do not want to cry because I do not want to cause my children worry or sadness and I don’t want my grandchildren to see me sad. I have realized that this not only makes the process harder, but drags the grief out longer and longer. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, for someone to just come and sit with you as you talk about what you’re going through or just need to reminisce. (Galatians 6:2) There is nothing wrong with asking others to please pray for you when you are having a bad day. (I Thessalonians 5:25, James 5:16, Matthew 18:20) There is nothing wrong with crying. (Psalms 56:8-13) There is nothing in the Bible that says that we shouldn’t cry, only that we should not cry as if we have no hope. (I Thessalonians 4:13) Which brings me to my next point. 5. Eternity- God has given us this amazing, unaltering hope through the shed blood of His Son Jesus on the cross. Eternity. If we believe that Jesus died and rose again, if we in repentance accept His gift of salvation~ God promises us eternity with Him in heaven. (I Thessalonians 4:14) My daddy did this and I have the full assurance from God’s word that my dad is at home in heaven right now. (Romans 6:8, John 14:2, I John 5:13, II Corinthians 5:8) If I choose to focus on my dad instead of myself~ it changes my whole perspective. Why would I choose to wish for him to be here with me, when he is in the very presence of his God? His Heavenly Father who loved him so greatly that He sent His Son to die for Him? My cousin so sweetly reminded me of this on Christmas Day. His very words were~”he is celebrating Christ with your mom right now.” My parents are celebrating Christ, and what a celebration!!! They are in glory. No more pain. (Revelation 21:4) Only praises. (Psalms 89:5, Luke 15:10) 6. Focus on the good and be thankful- This can be a hard one because when we focus on the good and happy memories, they often bring the tears as well. I know there will come a day when my tears turn into happy, thankful tears. And so, I will remember all the happy times. All the moments turned into memories. The moments that wouldn’t seem particularly special at all to anyone else, but hold beautiful happiness to me. Moments that I thank God for. (Philippians 4:6) As much as my heart hurts and wants those moments back, if I continually remember step number 1, I know that God will help me to be thankful and to see how amazing it was that I had all those silly, special, mundane moments with my dad here in Caseville the last four years. 7. Live every day as if it were your last- (Psalms 90:12b) We do not know what tomorrow holds. (James 4:14) We aren’t promised tomorrow, or even today. Knowing this, and with God’s help, I am moving into the future. Today. January 1, 2021. I am resolving to live every day to the fullest. To see the beauty in every single thing~ whether that’s the snow storm in our forecast, whether that’s the silly things my husband does that tend to irritate me or my aching back that I threw out putting Christmas decorations away~ I am asking God to show me the good in every singe thing. And my friend~ there is SO MUCH GOOD. (James 1:17) Beautiful, fresh clean snow. A picture of a new beginning. A husband that loves me despite all my irritating qualities (like putting away heavy Christmas boxes without asking for help) and then waits on me hand and foot. Time spent sitting with him because, as much as I want to, I can’t move. And realizing how precious this time of doing ‘nothing’ is. I am resolving to truly be present for my grandchildren. To stop and listen to their childish babbling and soak in every word. To play with them and create beautiful moments they can someday remember and be thankful for. So I will ask you~ how do you want your friends and your loved ones to remember you right now? Today? If you drew your last breath as you fell asleep tonight, just as my dad did, would they remember sadness or would they remember joy? Not a masked happiness but the true joy that only comes from God? I want my friends and loved ones to remember joy. I want my husband and children and grandchildren to remember my laughter. I want them to remember me smiling, just as I will always hold the memory of my dad. My sweet, precious dad outside my front door in his red Jeep. Smiling. Smile again with me my friends. I promise, God can change your life! Ask Him to help you find the good again.
12/30/2020
Dear Mom, You Can’t But God CanWhen my children were little, each night I would go upstairs to check on them before going to sleep myself. Seeing them nestled peacefully~all snug in their beds, made my heart feel so incredibly full. Every Christmas I wanted to make all their Christmas wishes come true. Perhaps it was my heart’s way of trying to show them a picture of the incredible love their Heavenly Father had for them. After checking on them, I’d quietly tiptoe back downstairs and I would always stop at the window in our stairwell to check for snow. Snow was always on their wish list for Christmas, something I knew would truly bring them joy, but something I could never provide. Every single night I would stop at that window and look out at my quiet town below. Wishing for snow. Tonight I stopped at that same window and all those memories came flooding back. My heart wished for snow for my children. My grown up adult children who still get excited when beautiful white snowflakes appear in the sky. My adult kids who still text me to tell me it’s snowing outside. I know many of you think I’m crazy. Many of you hate the snow, but you have to admit~ there’s something breathtakingly beautiful about a world covered in white at Christmas time. Especially this year. Maybe this year my heart longs for that blanket of white because our world has been so dark. Maybe for a moment I want my kids to be free from the cares of this world and once again feel like little children. As easy as it seemed to provide happiness for them when they were little, it is almost near impossible when they are adults, and that’s hard. Life is hard. 2020 was hard. But tonight as I sat in our stairwell, looking down at our little town, wishing for snow and pondering all these things, God whispered to my heart~ “Just like you couldn’t provide snow when they were little, you can’t provide snow for your children now Charisse. You can’t take the cares of this world away. You can’t lift the heavy burdens off their hearts. You can’t provide true joy”~ “But I can.” My heart knew that all those Christmases we didn’t have a single snowflake, it didn’t matter. My children never doubted my love for them. They knew they were loved. They knew they would be taken care of. And that’s exactly what I want them to know when they’re adults. As Christmas Day approaches and a new year is on the horizon, I want them to believe like little children again. I want them to trust that they are loved and that God will take care of them. That has been God’s message all along. The message of Christmas. He sent His Son to a little town in Bethlehem to show us His love. To show us He will always take care of us. To wash our hearts whiter than snow. My heart is filled with peace as I look out that window at my own little town and remember. I know my God will take care of my children no matter what the year ahead holds. Joy floods my soul as I think about how much He loves each of them. I don’t have to worry about a thing. He will provide. And as I smile in the darkness~ beautiful, white snowflakes begin to fall.
12/24/2020
Find JesusI stumbled downstairs last Sunday and with sleepy eyes poured myself a cup of coffee. At the moment, I definitely did not feel excitement. I was tired and wouldn’t have minded crawling right back into bed. And then it hit me. Today was my anniversary, and immediately I thought about Charisse 35 years ago on this day. The barely 20 year old who couldn’t sleep. The young girl who couldn’t wait for this day and the beginning of a life full of beautiful. The thankfulness her heart felt toward God for blessing her with everything this day held. Yet here I was, 35 years later muttering about how tired I was. Wishing for bed instead of worship. Many things went wrong on the day of our wedding. A huge snow storm hit that day. The limo my parents ordered to drive us to the wedding never showed up. My father in law’s cummerbund got misplaced, so at the last minute my fiancé drove in the storm to the tuxedo shop to get another. He then got hit by a car due to slippery roads. My grandparents were late due to the storm and almost didn’t make it. The snow worsened by the minute and we weren’t sure anyone would show up. None of this swayed my joy. None of this made me want to go back to bed so I didn’t have to think about all the “bad”. All I could focus on was him, Because I loved him. As I remembered that day, it gripped my heart. It’s the season of Christmas and yet, so many of us are focusing on the bad. The countless number of times I have heard or read that “2020 is the worst year in history” has been staggering. I can’t help but think about God and the murmuring He hears coming from those of us who are supposedly His children. Praise has not been on our lips, including my own. Thankfulness has not filled our hearts, but instead continual complaining about all we are subject to. There is no joy. There will always be something to complain about. We live in a sin cursed world where the wrong seems to outweigh the right. We can complain about our government or injustice or this pandemic and the rules we are asked to abide by. We can complain about not seeing family members or the fear of catching this sickness. But I would like to remind you that the good can outweigh the bad, we just haven’t been looking for it. We have been focusing on the bad so much that we have lost sight of all the incredibly good things God has blessed us with. Lives filled with beautiful. I would like to challenge you today to focus on Him. I have found in my own life that when I take my focus off of Him and place it on myself, I find all kinds of things to complain about. But, when I shift my focus to Him I find countless reasons to be thankful. That’s when joy floods my heart and soul. Think back to a special day in your own life. A day that you remember that feeling of pure joy and the reasons you felt that joy. That’s a beginning. That’s the first step in telling God thank you. If we could just decide in our hearts that we are going to choose thankfulness and praise over complaining, our lives will be transformed. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of the bad. I’m sick of social media and the news and the constant “bad” that is bombarding us. I want to focus on the good. All that is good in our life is only because of God. I want to focus on Him. I know there are hard days. I’m not always the picture of happiness and joy. Sweet friends have gone home to heaven this year. My precious dad went home to heaven. Covid has hit our little town. Family won’t be with us to celebrate this year. Our children’s Christmas program has been canceled. Just yesterday I broke down while shopping. The memory of Christmas shopping with my dad just last year hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to hide out in the underwear section until the tears subsided. We all have bad days, but later my husband reminded me of what a precious memory that was to have. Christmas shopping with dad. Our wedding day ended up being my fairy tale. All my dreams came true. Over 500 people came out in that storm to celebrate our union. Happiness and joy filled the church that day. A day I will never forget. Don’t ever forget when Christ filled your heart. A heart that once was dark, now filled with His light and love, joy and happiness. What if we all chose to celebrate Christ’s birth differently than the rest of the world, despite the storms we have all been facing? Find the good. Find the thankful. Find the gladness and joy. Find the beautiful. It’s right there where you are, you’ve just been missing it. This Christmas, focus on Him. Find Jesus. And he brought forth his people with joy, and his chosen with gladness:” Psalms 105:1-5, 43 KJV Psalms 78:22, 32, 37-39, 42, 53 KJV
12/3/2020
I Have EnoughThere wasn’t a better feeling in the whole world than the feeling she had right now.
Snuggled on her daddy’s lap. Laughing at her little brother. Listening to Andy Williams as he told her It Was The Most Wonderful Time. Seeing the glow of the fireplace as it danced across the tinsel that hung from the tree. Smiling at her beautiful mom all dressed up, yet working in the kitchen preparing the turkey. Little wax angels on the window sill watching over her. A snowman candle on the piano and daddy’s teddy bear tucked on her lap. Christmas books laid out, ready to read on this perfect Christmas Eve. Her tiny heart was so full. My tiny heart was so full. Others might laugh at the things I choose to display at Christmas time~ The books, the candles, my dads teddy bear. My parents retro Christmas bulbs or the fruited wreath and basket my mom always displayed~ but all of these things are beautiful reminders to me of those I love. Reminders of my mom and my dad who aren’t here with me this year to celebrate the holiday they both loved so much. The holiday they made so magical for me. Each one of these things is a piece of them, a piece of my heart. Even though they are simple heirlooms, they remind me of a heart full of thankfulness for those I love so dearly. They remind me that even though my heart misses them, I cannot be sad as I celebrate Thanksgiving because they have left me so much joy and happiness. They have left me the gift of gratitude. I want to leave that same joy and happiness for my own children and grandchildren. This year has been horrific for many of us and yet, my heart that once was so tiny is now so full. How can I not be thankful? I have so much to be thankful for. I lost my daddy, but I will never lose the legacy he left me. I will never lose the beautiful memories my heart clings to. I will never lose the love he gave. I will never lose the magic of Christmas he instilled in me. Today I snuggle with my granddaughters. The glow from the fireplace dances off the ornaments that were once my parents. Andy Williams is telling us It’s The Most Wonderful Time. The teddy bear is tucked on Ellie’s lap as Clara holds our manger’s baby Jesus. I want their tiny hearts to be full. Someday when I’m gone and they’re up in my attic looking through my boxes, I want them to cherish the decorations that only they might hold so dear. Others might not understand why they choose to display them. My prayer is that when they do, they don’t remember the Thanksgiving grandma was so sad but instead how very much they were loved and how much they have to be thankful for. Yes, there is always so very much to be thankful for. Fill the tiny hearts in your life with that love and thankfulness this Thanksgiving. Give them the gift of gratitude. Psalms 78:4-7, 102:18, I Thessalonians 5:18 Colossians 3:15 II Corinthians 9:11 Philippians 4:11, 13 JJHeller I Have Enough
11/24/2020
You Are Creating MemoriesI looked at their tiny faces. Excitement was in their eyes.
The glow of the fireplace filled the room and candles were our only light. Our power was lost due to high winds. It was an inconvenience to many, but to these little boys~an exciting adventure. They got to pack up and go to grandmas. They got to sit in the dark with flashlights and candles and soak up the warmth of the fire. And without even realizing it, we were making memories for them. Memories of eating grandma’s treats in the dark and playing with Bapa’s head light. Memories of toys and pillows all over the floor. Memories of the lighthearted laughter of aunt Jessica, grandma and mommy. Memories of Christmas music playing in the background and the smell of yummy candles in every room. Memories of their firefighter daddy and Bapa safely coming in from a fire call, and the joy that they were finally home. Memories of tickles and snuggles. Memories of the sound of howling winds yet the cozy comfort of being inside with those they loved. Memories of turning a bad situation into a beautiful one they will never forget. And we didn’t even realize. Sweet mama, make those memories for your children. Their little hearts hold on and they remember. We have opportunities in front of us to fill those little hearts with beautiful memories of the holiday seasons approaching. They will remember the year they might not get to go to grandmas for Thanksgiving or be with their cousins on Christmas Day. We have the power to make those days beautiful for them. Our adult minds understand what’s going on in our world right now. It’s scary and sad and difficult to wear a smile with so much hardship going on around us~ but we can. We must. For our children. Amidst the howling winds of fear and anger and the sickness and sadness that’s going on outside, we might feel like we have lost power, but we haven’t. Our children believe we can do anything. We have the power to make them feel cozy and safe within our homes, within our arms. We have the power to continually show them the joy that only Jesus can give. We have the power to fill their hearts with beauty and with memories that will last the rest of their lives. One day my grandsons will look back and laugh and say “remember the time we lost power and got to go to grandmas?” And even though they will be adults, it will make their grown up hearts feel like kids again~ and they will smile. Those are the memories I want to leave with my grandchildren. I want to leave as many good memories as I can in their tiny hearts~ no matter what is going on in our world right now. I don’t want to fill those precious hearts with fear and anxiety or sadness. I want them to be filled with joy. This is their childhood and they will only be children once. Every single day is a new memory. They’re watching and listening. Too often I think we forget that. Pay attention to your words and your emotions. Pay attention to your reactions and responses. Purpose in your heart to have a life filled with the joy and peace of Jesus no matter what the circumstances around you are like. Because good or bad~ without even realizing~ you are the one creating memories for your children~ Make sure they’re beautiful. Psalms 16:8,9, 11 2 Timothy1:7 Acts 1:8a John16:33 Ephesians 3:20, 6:10 Romans 15:13 2 Samuel 22:33 Isaiah 40:29 Colossians 1:11
11/2/2020
ARE YOU FATHERLESS?The raw humanity of grief has overwhelmed my soul the last few weeks. My heart feels such a hurting emptiness. My emotions have gone from despair to anger to joy, almost as if I’m on a roller coaster. Despair that I will never say I love you to my dad again, or visit with him on his porch. No texts, no meals together, no more reminiscing about the beautiful life God blessed us with. Despair at the feeling that my childhood has been taken from me and I am left alone without the comfort of a mom or a dad to love me, as only a mom and dad can. Anger when others have told me God won’t give me more than I can handle. Anger that someone would tell my kids they shouldn’t be so broken hearted. Anger when others have told me my dad wouldn’t want me sad, or how much sweeter heaven gets every day. My selfish heart wants that sweetness back. My selfish heart wants them here with me again. I am ashamed to even admit this. I know in my heart that the despair and the anger are not where God wants me to stay, but I also know He understands. He understands the despair. He understands the anger. When you lose someone you loved with all your heart, He understands the tears. The tears fell this week. I cried out to God. I told Him I don’t want to be strong, I just want my dad back. I begged God to help me. As I cried out to Him, somehow through the tears and the despair, through the anger and the weeping~joy came. Psalm 30:5b Joy because God showed me how very much He loves me. His love is infinitely greater than my own. It’s infinitely greater than the love of my mom or my dad. God’s love is greater than life itself. As I wept over the fact that I lost my dad so close to Christmas and that we would not be sharing our favorite holiday together, as I tried to hold on to hope amidst the ache my heart felt~God reminded me of a song my daughter sang last Christmas Eve. A song my dad loved. I have listened to that song over and over again this week. The words have filled me with unexplainable joy~ “Wondrous Gift of heaven, the Father sends the Son. Planned from time eternal, moved by holy love. He will carry our curse~ and death He’ll reverse~ so we can be daughters and sons. Who would’ve dreamed, or ever foreseen that we could hold God in our hands? The Giver of life, born in the night revealing God’s glorious plan. To save the world. To save the world.” He knew the pain of death and separation from our loved ones would be a pain we could never bear on our own. He knew the sin of the world would bring death. And so~ He sent His Son. God sent His Son to save the world. He sent His Son to save me. He sent His Son to save you. That is the joy I will focus on. The joy of the wondrous gift God gave me. The gift of His Son. He reversed death and gave me the gift of eternal life in heaven with Him. The gift of being carried home to my people someday. The gift of being in the presence of God almighty. The gift of falling into the arms of my Jesus, my Savior and my Redeemer. The gift of knowing that my mom and my dad are in Gods presence even now. Because God gave His only begotten Son. The rawness of my broken heart will probably never go away until the day I see Jesus, but I will cling to that joy in the brokenness because those I miss so very much are in the presence of Jesus. And one day I will be too. I can never stop thanking Him for such a beautiful gift. I miss my dad~ but I am God’s daughter. He is a Father to the fatherless. He is my Father, a Father of infinite love. Love greater than life itself. Hey Moms, you’ve been on my heart a lot lately.
Especially moms of little ones. A few months back when our lives were suddenly turned upside down and parents were forced to stay at home with their kids, I began seeing posts from mothers that really surprised and sometimes saddened me. To be honest some of them made me wonder why some women became a mom to begin with. Staying at home with their kids was driving them crazy. Please don’t get the wrong idea, I understand crazy. My own kids have driven me to that point many times (and sometimes still do.😂) I’m not trying to portray myself as some super mom. I can’t even tell you the amount of times I lost it with my own kids (just ask them), and as I look back I can say without a doubt that ‘feeling sorry for myself’ had a big role in some of those moments. Being a mom is hard work. I understand that. It’s stressful and overwhelming and exhausting, and moms everywhere need breaks and some “me time”. We have to be so careful though. When we start to look inward and listen to those thoughts that continually whisper to our tired souls~”what about me?” Pretty soon those thoughts aren’t whispering. They’re screaming. And thats when the crazy hits us. With that being said, I would like to encourage you on how to get your sanity back. I could probably write a book on all the things I wish I had done differently as a mom. Today will be some basics. Let’s say page 1 of chapter 1. 😂 I’ll warn you right now, it’s going to take some work~mentally and physically~and I know what all you exhausted moms out there are thinking~ I don’t want to work at anything right now!!! I want a maid and a cook and a babysitter and twelve straight hours of sleep. And some chocolate. No tantrums, no dirty diapers, no potty training, no children in bed with me, no laundry surrounding me on my couch or dirty dishes in my sink. No sticky fingers and faces and toilet seats. No work~PLEASE. And that my sweet mamas is what takes me directly to point number 1~ 1. Go to God and ask for help. Right now. Stop reading and ask Him to help you. I’m serious. Just put your phone down and plead to Him for help. Whether you feel like you’re doing fine with this mothering thing or whether you’re in the middle of the chaotic crazy. Stop and ask. If you don’t do this, the rest of this post won’t help you at all. We as moms have to realize we cannot do this mom thing without God’s help. Whether you’re pregnant right now, have a newborn, toddlers, teenagers or college students~ or even if you are a grandma~ you never “arrive”. You need God’s help and guidance every step of this motherhood journey, until you step into Heaven. 2. With that being said, my second tip would be prayer and time with God. I’ve written a lot of posts on prayer and if you go to my blog and type prayer in the search bar, I’m sure you will find many. I know how hard it is to find the time to pray when you’re a mom of little ones, but sometimes I think we look at prayer completely wrong. We think that we have to have this “holy time” set aside; alone in our rooms, kneeling by our bed, devoting complete attention to God. When you’re a mother of little ones, you know that won’t ever be a reality. So, here’s what I want you to think about. Do you love your children? Of course you do. When they come to you, do you tell them they have to make an appointment to talk to you so that you can devote your entire attention to them? Of course not. Your children come to you ALL DAY LONG. You answer their questions, you provide comfort and nourishment. You provide love. That’s how it’s meant to be with God. Moms need to realize that God is right there with them ALL DAY LONG. You can go to Him anytime and He will listen. He will help you with your questions, He will comfort and nourish your soul. He will love. Not only should you ask God to help you, but it is never too early to begin praying for your children. From the time the THOUGHT of starting a family enters your head, it should be bathed in prayer. It doesn’t matter how old they are, never stop praying for your kids or asking God for help in raising them! We cannot do it in our own strength because many times moms of little ones have no strength left to give. We have to rely on God. He is the one Who will give us the energy to be the moms we need to be for our children. 3. Next, I want you to switch your focus off of yourself. When your little ones don’t give you a moment’s peace. When you hide in the bathroom and tiny hands are knocking and little voices are shouting “mommy, mommy, mommy”. When your newborn is crying all night long~ when all of these things overwhelm you and your exhausted mind starts screaming~”what about me?” I want you to think about the thoughts that are running through your mind at that moment and then think to yourself~ what if my Savior had these same thoughts about me? When I’m asking Him to help me ALL DAY LONG. When I’m sometimes shouting “Father, Father, Father” because I just can’t do it alone. When I can’t sleep at night and I’m crying out to Him. He always, always, always gives grace. Give your children some grace. Don’t feel sorry for yourself and snap at them. They are children. They aren’t adults. They don’t understand hard mommy days, they don’t understand mommy and daddy fights, they don’t understand when you’re bent over the toilet with morning sickness and they’re hanging on your neck telling you that they love you (Jessica 😊). They don’t understand the stress of a pandemic or worry over their futures. They don’t understand. All they know is that you are mommy and YOU ARE LOVE and that’s what they need. Show them grace. Show them love. Just like your Heavenly Father does for you. 4. With that out of the way, now I DO want you to focus on yourself haha. Show YOURSELF a little grace. Every mom needs a little “Me time” for her own sanity. Whether you leave for a half hour to take a walk or a ride, whether that looks like grocery shopping for you or a hot bath, whether it’s time alone with friends or time with your husband, or time just sitting in your car alone in the driveway. You need TIME, but not before God time. Stay in God’s word and pray. This goes back to point number 2. If you don’t ask God for help and find little snippets of time to be with Him, your “me time” won’t make one bit of difference. You will return home to the chaos and crazy, and immediately lose it all over again. Remember to not only talk to God all throughout your day but also remember His promises to you. Promises from His word. It’s hard to find that time with God to actually read the Bible when you have little ones getting up at the crack of dawn, on top of a newborn that spent the whole night crying. The exhaustion is just overwhelming and your eyes can’t even focus on your coffee cup, let alone God’s word. Something that has always helped me is to find promises from God’s word, write them or print them out and place them strategically around your home. They will be constant reminders of God’s love for you. Put them above your kitchen sink, on your fridge, next to the changing table or toilet (your escape ie~”mommy is going potty, go away) or on your mirror to remind you first thing in the morning. Doing this will uplift your soul and encourage you no matter how tired you are. If you put this into practice and then you take some “me time” you will return home refreshed with a new outlook and more patience and grace for your little ones (and for your husband). By talking to God and staying in His word, His love will continually fill all the tired, empty spots and push aside all that crazy. When you return home from time away, you will be able to pour that love right back into your family, no matter what you return home to. Sticky kisses and toilet seats included. God understands that we are only human. Don’t ever allow yourself to feel guilty for taking some time for yourself. It will make you a better mommy to those little ones and a better wife to your husband. Like I said, these are only some brief points on motherhood and those beginning crazy years and I have some good news, if you think it’s crazy now, it’s only the beginning ha ha. But if you strive to make it a habit to put these points into practice, the years ahead will be so much easier for you because you will have that foundation and you will know that God is right there by your side, helping you along the way. Remember, this parenting thing will be different for everyone. Don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t like that “other mom”, you know~the one that is perfect and has her life all together. You be you, the perfect mom God created for your children. Ask God for help. Stay close to Him in prayer and through His word. Show grace to your children and to yourself. I promise it will change your life. Last week I shared with you something that really, truly changed my life. Reading through the Bible in 60 days. Yep. The WHOLE bible in only 60 days. Click here to read that post~ And here is the link to the plan I followed~ I'm reading the @YouVersion plan 'Power Read The Bible In 60 Days With Jeff Anderson'. Check it out here: https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/12221  I highly recommend it for everyone! One thing that stood out to me was how often I read the words~ glorify, praise and thanksgiving. This was something I knew I had read before, but after reading large amounts of scripture every day~ it really stuck with me. It was a continual theme. I was reading it over and over and over. And my heart was convicted. This was something I wasn’t doing enough of. I did plenty of asking but I wasn’t glorifying, praising and thanking God enough. I had made the majority of my prayer life all about petitions instead of taking the time to fall on my knees in thankfulness. So today I want to share something else that truly changed my life. Instead of petitioning God, I simply sat and thanked Him. I was amazed at the many things that came to mind. I probably could’ve sat all day praising and thanking Him~ and it changed me. After thanking Him over and over for the countless blessings He has bestowed upon me, my heart knew without a shadow of a doubt that He would take care of my usual requests and burdens. My heart was joyful. It was light. It was free from stress and anxiety. It was free from burdens. I knew He was in complete control and I could let go. I could simply say thank you with a peace that passed all understanding. And so, I want to give you some tips that helped me on my new journey of thankfulness and release. ⁃ Find a quiet place that is free from distractions. A place for just you and Jesus. (For me this is my bedroom) ⁃ The first thing I always do is ask the Holy Spirit for help. I ask the Holy Spirit to speak deeply to my soul. To clear my heart and mind of distractions and help me to focus only on Jesus. ⁃ Next, I talk to Jesus as if He is sitting right next to me, because He is! The Bible tells me He will never leave me and I truly believe He is with me every moment of every day. ⁃ I then start thanking God. At first it was hard because I immediately wanted to petition Him on behalf of loved ones, friends and circumstances. So, I continued to ask the Holy Spirit to guide me. Even if you find yourself distracted or disconnected, don’t stop. Keep thanking Him. ⁃ I started with things that were right in the room with me, things that we so easily take for granted. My bed, clothing, a closet for those clothes, a warm comforter etc. then my home and all that He provides for me inside that home. By focusing on what’s right in front of you, God will open your eyes to a world of thankfulness. ⁃ I then moved my focus beyond that as I looked outside. The sunshine, the blue skies and cotton candy clouds. The birds singing. The rooftop of our precious church. ⁃ I then moved my focus beyond that to my wonderful hometown. My neighbors, our farms and beaches, rivers and lake. ⁃ I then thanked God for my sweet family. My husband, children and grandchildren. My dad and brothers. My in-laws and cousins. My aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews. ⁃ Make this a habit you practice at least once a week. ⁃ ⁃ The more I thanked God, the deeper my soul felt that thankfulness. I found myself weeping as I thanked Him for each thing, but especially for His Son dying for me on the cross. For giving me the gift of eternal life at such a cost. For loving me despite myself. ⁃ Some of you might not know where to start when it comes to prayer and others might feel like this is too simple. These are just a few of the tips that helped me. I hope you get the idea. Something completely different might work better for you. You might be reading this and thinking that it’s easy for me to be thankful because of how many blessings I have, but you find yourself in a dark, lonely place filled with heartache. Can I tell you my friend that even there you can find the light. You can find your way out of the dark if you give Jesus your hand. Take it one step at a time. Thank Him for being there with you. In your quiet place. Just you and Jesus. You are not alone. Thank Him for dying for you. Thank Him that no matter how dark things seem right now, His gift of salvation has given you light and peace for all eternity. If His redeeming love and forgiveness is something you have never experienced, I urge you to reach out to me. I would love to share the gospel with you. I would love for you to know my Jesus and the thankfulness my heart feels. There is no doubt that as you go about your day, loved ones and friends, burdens or circumstances will come to the forefront of your heart. Choose to remain thankful each time. Thank God for the burdens He places upon your heart, for the circumstances He placed you in, for that person He gave you to love. Thank Him all day long as you go about each task. The more you say thank you, the more thankful you become. Guys, I promise it will change your life!
4/8/2020
Everything Will ChangeEVERYTHING WILL CHANGE
2 minute read When my husband’s sister passed away in 2003, all our lives were torn apart. Everything changed. She left behind 6 children. Her youngest only 6 days old. I saw how it affected my husband and my children. I saw how it affected her husband, her children, her parents and siblings, her church family. I saw how it affected me. I decided my life would be different. I would give of myself more. I would invest in other’s lives. I would spend more quality time with my children instead of stressing over a clean house, schedules and “to do’s”. I would love on my husband more fiercely, forgive more readily. I wouldn’t get irritated and argue with him over stupid things. I would be selfless and put his needs before my own. Because I did not know how much time I had left with the ones I loved, and I wanted it to be precious. Yes everything changed.... for a while. Slowly, as the years went by and life became more normal again~ I forgot those decisions. And every once in a while my heart would be pricked, because I wasn’t following through. I always blew it off. Surely God understood how busy I was~ I had schedules to keep. I had a house to keep clean. I had too much on my plate to help that person. I had every right to get irritated with my husband. But deep down, I knew that wasn’t true. We make the time for the ones we love. We forgive, we give of ourselves, we love selflessly. Deep down, I knew~ I just loved myself more. As we sit in our houses and reflect on this time~As we think about our lives and what will change~As we pray desperately for the safety of our loved ones~As we give God our moments~As we search His promises for peace~As we watch the news and cry and pray~As we realize how very precious our families truly are~As our eyes are opened to what is most important in our lives. Let’s not ever forget. One year from now. Two years from now. If and when our lives become our normal again. We cannot ever forget. We will make new choices. We will determine to put God first. To spend time with Him. To make the time for our children despite our list of “to-do’s” and love on our spouses more fiercely. We will determine to forgive more readily. We will not allow busyness to take over our family time. We will give of ourselves to others. Until we don’t. Until the years go by and we slowly forget this horrible, terrible, life changing virus that has encapsulated our entire world. Because our lives will be our normal again. But for some, their lives will forever be changed because this virus took someone that was precious to them. Mark this day and the next and the next. Write notes in your bible to remember. Take pictures. Cut out newspaper articles. Create memories. Remember. Please remember. And pray for the future God has for us. Pray that we don’t ever forget. And one day, let us look back on our memories and notes and pictures. Let us relive it and be reminded how good God is to us. How much He has blessed us with. Then hug on your babies a little tighter. Kiss on your spouse a little longer. Give of yourself to your neighbors a little more and give God every part of every day. Because we don’t know how much time we have left. Maybe this virus has made us all more aware and because of that, we can be thankful, because of that~ Everything will change.
1/8/2020
How To Hold On To HopeHOW TO HOLD ON TO HOPE
December 2019 did not end the way I had anticipated. My heart was tremendously heavy for loved ones, neighbors and even people on social media that I have never met. People going through horrible heartache and trials. I couldn’t shake the sadness I felt for each of them. Prayers were spoken continually for what seemed like hopeless situations. And with the sadness, I looked to a season for happiness instead of my Savior. I wrapped presents. I made cookies. I went to parties. I ate too much junk food. I stayed up too late. I struggled with perfectionism. I watched too many Hallmark movies while I neglected much needed time with God. And yet, at the stroke of midnight a new decade was ushered in, whether Charisse was ready for it or not. In the quietness of my bedroom as these words pour out of me, God begins whispering His words into my heart. New Years resolutions? My flesh has already failed my resolve, but praise God He tells me that my flesh does not have to prevail~ as long as He is my hope. Psalm 73:26 He is telling me that I don’t have to be ready. I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to have my life in order as I step into this new decade, because~ CHRIST IS MY PERFECTION. And that’s what Holding Hope is all about. No matter what you feel, no matter what you are going through at this very moment~ the very first week of this new decade~ You can hold onto hope. If your heart is screaming right now~ “How?... How do I hold on to hope?” The only answer I have for you is this~ Jesus Call out to Him. Read His words of hope, written just for you. Ask others to go to Him on your behalf. Seek Him. Even if you mess up every single day or your future looks grim~ keep calling out to Him. Even if your heart has been deeply wounded by others, or maybe wounded over the heartache of others~ Keep calling out to Him. He assures us that His mercies are new EVERY morning and so is His faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22&23 His faithfulness is not contingent on our faithfulness. His comfort, peace and joy are not contingent on our worthiness. His love is not contingent on our love and His forgiveness, grace and mercy are not contingent on our perfection. Today I whisper His name. Over and over and over I whisper it. I whisper it for others. I whisper it for myself. I whisper it for you. And my heart rests in knowing that 2020 will be perfect. Not because of anything Charisse has done, but because of EVERYTHING Christ has done for me~ and for you. There are no hopeless situations because He is my God of all Hope~ And I will forever hold on to that. Isaiah 43:18-19 Philippians 3:13 1 Corinthians 2:9 Psalms 16:9
1/1/2020
Step Through That DoorSTEP THROUGH THAT DOOR
2019~ I want to linger here a little longer. Perhaps it’s because I realize each year seems to pass more quickly than the last. Time is fleeting. I want to linger in the Christmas magic. I don’t want it to be over already. I want to linger in the childlike wonder of my grandchildren. I want to linger in the sounds of their tiny little voices as they tell me all about their moments and their days. I want to linger as they hand me Christmas pictures they drew. I want to linger in their snuggles, before they are too old to want to snuggle anymore. Just like I wanted to linger when my own children were that age. Yes, I want to linger, but I know I can’t. Where did the year go? No, I don’t want 2019 to end. But I hold out my hand, I ask God to take it and I step through the door of 2020. This is Gods plan. Not to look back. Not to hold on to the past, but to look forward to the future. Philippians 3:13 As hard as it was at times to watch my children grow up and out of the childlike wonder Christmas held for them, I look at them now, and the glow of Christmas still lights up their eyes. The smile on their faces on Christmas morning still takes me back and the pride I have for the adults they’ve become still brings tears. And I can see it. I can see all of the same things in my grand babies eyes~ and it’s magical. I can see a future wrapped up in Jesus. And that brings tears. They were being naughty the other day. I was trying to get them to calm down and behave, so I turned on a Christmas movie. It didn’t have the desired effect I was hoping for. Naughtiness still ensued. Jumping on the couch. Doing somersaults on the floor. Asking a thousand times how many more days until they could open their presents. So I asked the one who was misbehaving most~“Clara, are you paying attention to the movie?” She looked at me and nodded, so I asked~“Then what’s the best way to spread Christmas cheer?” (If you’ve seen the movie you know the answer- ‘singing loud for all to hear’.) Suddenly the room got very quiet. The other grandchildren were sure she would get it wrong. In the softest, sweetest voice she answered~ “Jesus” And she meant it. No questions. No hesitating. It’s a future of moments like this that I can’t wait to unwrap. It’s hard to let go of the past. It’s hard to see our babies become adults. But the sweetness the years bring when those years are wrapped up in Jesus is a future that’s filled with hope and love. Joy and excitement. Peace. Philippians 4:7 Yes I will step through the door of 2020 and spread that Christmas cheer. I may want to linger still, but I will look ahead to a future wrapped up in the excitement and joy that only Jesus can bring. Clara got it so right. The door of new beginnings. The door of possibilities. The door of joy and peace. The door that only Jesus can open. Jesus. Look ahead. Take His hand and step through that door with me. 2020 Happy New Year dear friends!
12/11/2019
Presents, Plans, Parties & PeacePRESENTS, PLANS, PARTIES & SWEET PEACE
We live for tomorrow’s while missing today’s, especially at Christmas. Without realizing it, our lives are consumed with tomorrow’s~ What’s next on our Christmas calendars and to do lists. And all the while we are missing the moments and minutes of right now. Soaking up Gods presence right this second. Glorifying Him in the now. Loving the Christmas chaos of flour and sugar and chocolate chips all over the kitchen, wrapping paper and boxes all over our living rooms, cards that still need to be addressed all over our tables, party invitations and orders that need to be finalized on our computers and shopping lists. And we miss Jesus. Instead of living as if today were our last, we live for tomorrow and we stress and we worry and we fret and we lose all the joy of what this crazy season truly means. I recently reposted an article I wrote last year about living today as if it were our last, and my own words convicted me once again. I don’t do this. I’m constantly thinking ahead of what I need to get done and instead of enjoying it, I stress over it and the joy is completely drained out of moments that should be magical. I rush around trying to accomplish so much and in the process~I miss so much. I miss my grandchildren playing Elf on the Shelf with each other, I miss snuggles with them as they watch Christmas movies. I miss messes made with them baking cookies because I’m in too big a hurry and just want to do it myself. I miss the awe and wonder of their precious faces as they look at my Christmas tree and manger. I miss moments right in front of me because I’m continually looking at tomorrow. But what if I don’t have a tomorrow? What did I do today that my precious grandchildren will remember? Will they remember grandma was stressed and in a hurry and overwhelmed and impatient? Will they remember how beautifully I celebrated Christ’s birth with them every day in December or only a December that made grandma frazzled? We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow, tonight could be your last night here on earth. What will your own children, your grandchildren, your spouses and coworkers remember about you on this day? Don’t miss the magical moments that are wrapped up in Jesus. Maybe we all need to refocus and truly treat each other, each day and each moment as if it were our last. I think if we did, we would find that sweet peace and joy that only Jesus brings. The true joy of Christmas.
12/4/2019
Dirty Dishes & Christmas ChaosDIRTY DISHES & CHRISTMAS CHAOS
I wrote this post to encourage young mothers but yesterday as I read it, God spoke to this grandma’s heart about how much I needed these very words. Amidst all the chaos of this season~ I just need Him. As darkness still covered the world in the early morning hours, how many of those mornings did she cry? How she longed for just a little time alone with her Savior. Just one morning. But again, little footsteps interrupted. Little cry’s from a crib down the hall. Little pleas for breakfast and snuggles. Why couldn’t she just have one moment? Dear mama, don’t you realize~ He is in every moment. Somehow we look at our lives and see our peace and comfort coming from things we think we need~ And if we don’t get that, we can tend to be irritated and down or depressed and angry. Just one moment. Why can’t it be ours? Sweet mama, amidst all the chaos surrounding you throughout your day~ The phone ringing. The dog barking. The cartoons on television. The baby crying. The laundry piled everywhere and the dishes in the sink. Close your eyes. And see Him. He is there. He is always there. Every single moment is not ours, It is His. He is there next to you every morning in that darkness. He is smiling at your child. He is whispering His love to their hearts and to yours. He is singing lullabies to your baby and snuggling with your toddler. He is providing breakfast for hungry tummy’s and blankets for morning snuggles. He is sitting right there next to you and He is listening. He can hear your very heart, even when you can’t hear it yourself. He understands exactly what we need~more than we even do, or ever could. He longs for you to know He is ever present. He isn’t only there in your morning worship and prayers. He isn’t only there in a church building or a praise song. He promises us that He is with us ALWAYS, and at times that is hard for our human minds to comprehend. He is with you right this very moment. He is standing next to you as the phone rings and the dog barks. As the cartoons play and the baby cries. As the laundry piles up and the dishes need washing. If need be~ stop everything and literally picture Him there. Don’t only speak to Him throughout your day, but ask Him to speak to you. He is right there next to you and once your heart understands this, truly understands this~ everything changes. He is shushing your anxious heart and whispering to your soul~ “Right now, I just need you to be a mama. My glory shines in the smile of your little one, in the home you are making, in the little, everyday, seemingly unimportant tasks of a mama. My glory shines through you sweet mama. I am here, right here next to you. You don’t need a few moments alone. You only need me~ And I am ALWAYS~right here.”  Psalm 139:7-10 Hebrews 13:5 Joshua 1:5 Deuteronomy 31:6,8 Matthew 11:28 Philippians 4:13, 19
11/13/2019
A Hug And A Bowl Of Chicken SoupA HUG AND A BOWL OF CHICKEN SOUP
3 minute read I was watching The Brady Bunch. Not the new HGTV series, but the 1969 originals on Hulu. I was sick and in bed and I was binge watching The Brady Bunch. It felt good. One week turned into three. This never ending cough threw me for a loop and in an odd way, I found comfort in that old show. I watched it when I was little. It was the only time my parents allowed us to stay up past our bedtime. It reminded me of home and of mom and of being taken care of. I think I was yearning for that comfort because mom is no longer with me. And because I was feeling sorry for myself. Slowly I found myself allowing little things to bother me. Things people said, even my own family members, left me feeling hurt or angry. Little pieces of bitterness, sadness and jealousy crept in. I started having self doubts about my role as a pastor’s wife and mother~ and even this blog. So I began to turn to something seemingly innocent for comfort. The Brady Bunch. I know it’s ridiculous, (you guys probably think I’m nuts haha) but I reasoned that God understood how sick I was and He was ok with me not picking up my bible or talking to Him. But that’s where I was wrong. God wasn’t waiting to punish me for not talking to Him, watching too much TV or not reading His words. I was punishing myself. I was missing out on the incredible comfort, joy and peace that only He can give. I miss my mom so much, sometimes even more when I’m sick~ and while I was feeling sorry for myself, I failed to realize He is the God of ALL comfort. II Corinthians 1:3,4 If I had just talked to Him, He would have whispered to my heart that everything was going to be ok. That He would take care of me. I Peter 5:7 My heart attitude would have been different toward words that were spoken because His words would have been hidden in my heart. Psalm 119:11 Compared to today’s television The Brady Bunch had some great traditional/family oriented episodes ( I still love it 🤦🏼♀️) but~ anything we go to for comfort besides our heavenly Daddy will always come up short. The more we reach for it, the deeper our hearts and minds will stray from the truth of God’s words and it won’t take long for our thoughts to be messed up big time. Satan knows how to dig in and completely change your thoughts, patterns, activities and mindset. He knows how to use seemingly innocent activities to make us stray. One day turns into two then three and soon a month has passed. And all the while we fail to realize we are listening to him and allowing him to drown out every good and perfect word our Savior longs for us to hear. James 1:17 We are punishing ourselves, all the while being deceived into thinking this is what will make us happy and bring us peace and comfort. What are you turning to for comfort today? When you are down and just want someone to hold you and make you feel better? When you want a hug and a bowl of chicken soup? When you want someone to tell you it’s going to be okay? We go to so many things for comfort~ social media, TV, food, relationships~ But somehow, nothing changes. That “complete” comfort is missing. When I finally heard God whisper to my heart, when I finally turned off the TV and I opened His words, when I finally broke down and told Him all the ways I was hurting~ it was like getting a hug. Everything changed. Everything. Don’t miss out on the very best by settling for good. Good will always come up short because~ “good” is not God.
6/12/2019
I Remember MomI REMEMBER MOM
When I was little, while all the other little girls at school went back and forth over what they wanted to be when they grew up, I always knew what I wanted. I played house. I played with dolls. I played grocery shopping. I wanted to be a mom. Just like my mom. I may have been only 4 or 5, but I watched her, and she didn’t even realize. As she cooked and cleaned, as she did the laundry and ironing, as she bought groceries and took care of my baby brother, as she kissed my daddy when he walked through the door~ my little eyes were always watching. She may have gotten frustrated at times. She may have yelled at me (for which I know I deserved), she may have gotten tired or sad or discouraged. She may have looked at the other moms and their accomplishments and wished she could DO more, not realizing~ She was already doing everything~ because my little heart wanted to grow up and be her. And at night, no matter what the day held, as she snuggled with me in bed and read me another chapter of my favorite book, it was the best feeling in the world and I never wanted it to end. Mama (and daddies of little boys) whatever your role, whatever your vocation~ little eyes are watching and wishing to be you. The world might try to convince you that simply being a “mom” is a worthless job. You might wish you could accomplish so much more for your children. There will be days you might wish you could retrace your steps and take back the yelling and frustration or weariness and impatience. Despite what we might see as failures~ you are the best feeling in the world to them~ their little hearts love unconditionally and they want to grow up to be just like us. Time goes by. Little hearts grow up. Little eyes notice more. Future plans change. Make sure your babies see a future wrapped up in Jesus. I landed my dream job. I’m a mom. I’m a grandma, and this morning as I got my coffee and the morning sunlight whispered through the windows, I almost cried. God has blessed me so much. A family. A house. Laundry and ironing. Dust on the furniture and cobwebs in the corners. A floor that needs sweeping. A grocery list and a pantry. Grandbabies. A morning cup of coffee. All the small things God gives us, that this life holds, aren’t really small after all. Things we might overlook, complain about or take for granted. But I remember. I remember wanting to push the grocery cart. I remember my Easy Bake Oven and play stove and fridge. I remember play shelves with play food. I remember my Fischer Price vacuum. I remember pretending to be mom drinking her coffee, I remember crying baby dolls and bottles and pretend diapers. I remember mom. And I wished that she was here to see it so that I could say thank you mom~ for showing me how to be just like you and loving every minute of it. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
4/10/2019
Standing In The Middle Of BeautifulSTANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF BEAUTIFUL.
Psalm 118:24 Tears filled her eyes as she spoke. Almost 30 of us, all staying under the same roof. One week together. Oak Island. Family. She spoke about her children all being together. She spoke of how much it meant to her that we had continued this tradition all these years. She first came when my husband was a baby, followed by siblings, then their children and now great grandchildren. As I looked around the room, tears filled everyone’s eyes, including my own. What we have is special. My mother in law recognized it and she was grateful. This year my children and grandchildren all came down. We want to continue this tradition with my in laws, and this year tears filled my eyes once again. As my grandson ran to hug me when we finally arrived. As my granddaughter snuck into my room in the early morning hours to sleep with me. As I watched my grown children laugh together and love on each other. As I watched my grandchildren run in the sunshine and sand and dip their tiny toes in the surf. Our lives had become so busy that even living in the same town, time spent together like this was very rare. And this year the tears spilled down my own cheeks as I waved goodbye to them all and turned to an empty house without them. Such a beautiful house on the ocean and yet, in this moment it was only a building. What made that building so beautiful were the people who filled it. I could picture them all there, in the now empty rooms. The time went by too fast. I realized then that I wouldn’t mind being back in the middle of snow and ice and freezing temperatures, because I would be with the people who made everything beautiful. My family. Every moment of every day can be beautiful if we realize what God has blessed us with. Too often we think that if we could just go on that vacation or if we had a bigger house or new furnishings, then we would be happy. We seek our joy in things. The grass is always greener syndrome. We miss what is right in front of us, and sadly we don’t realize how beautiful it is until it’s gone. Think about what truly makes life beautiful. Look for that beauty in the small things. Beauty that surrounds you on a daily basis. A morning sunrise. An open bible. Your daily routine. Your church family. Your hometown and neighbors. A hug. A smile. The sunset and stars. Your cozy bed. Your home and loved ones. Your whispers to the Savior as you fall asleep. Sometimes what we overlook as the small stuff is really the big stuff. The stuff that dreams are made of are too often the very things we take for granted. My mother in law recognized it. It wasn’t just this place, it was the people in this place that made it beautiful. And that place is right where you are at this very moment. Choose to see the beauty in it. Don’t wait until it’s gone before you realize all God has blessed you with. Recognize the joy in every moment of every day right where you are. You’re standing in the middle of beautiful, you just have to open your eyes and heart to see it. It’s always been there~ That beautiful stuff that dreams are made of. |
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