4/2/2021
Feel The Weight. Know The JoyIn the last week I have been asked a very similar question on two separate occasions. The question went along the lines of~ What has God done for you this year?
I am embarrassed to admit that both times my mind went blank. My immediate thought was~He took my dad. And for some reason I couldn’t get past that. I didn’t want to answer. I wanted to get up and leave the room, partially because younger family members were waiting for my reply and partially because I’m a pastor’s wife, so shouldn’t I have my act together? Shouldn’t I come up with a million things God has done for me? I could have plastered on a fake smile and given a rehearsed, cliche answer on God’s abundance. I knew all the right words to say. In my heart I know He has given me countless blessings, but in that moment that was all that I could think of. My dad. He took my dad. As I contemplated what to write for a post this week I knew that I wanted it to go along with Easter, but again my mind was drawing a blank. For some reason I had writer’s block. I mentioned it to my husband only minutes before I was asked for the second time~ what has God done for you this year? I went down to my bedroom later and felt shame that I hesitated and could not answer in a way that would glorify my Savior. As I lay in bed in the quiet darkness that night, I mulled over that question again and again and I truly believe God answered me. A tender compassionate answer full of mercy and grace, patience and love~ Yes I took your dad Charisse, but that’s not the end of your story. I took him to heaven. I brought him home. Not only is he in the presence of the many loved ones that have gone on before him, but he is in My presence. That has given Me joy. He is home with me. And I wept. If it wasn’t for Easter. If it wasn’t for the horrific death Christ endured on the cross, my dad wouldn’t be in heaven today. The breathtakingly beautiful part of the glorious story of Easter doesn’t end with the horror of that death. It begins with life after death and the incomprehensible knowledge that~ Jesus did it all with joy. He was beaten and nailed to that cross. He hung in agony as He took the sins of all mankind upon Himself. He died for me and for you and he did it with joy. Did you get that? Do you truly understand that? He did it with JOY. Why? Because that’s how much He loves us. That’s how much He loves my dad. That’s how much He loves you. No matter what we go through or how hard our circumstances are, I have this hope to cling to~ Jesus did it with joy. For me. If I had to do it over, my answer would be so different. God has done so many amazingly beautiful things for me each and every day. I know there will always be trials, there will always be sorrow and pain, sickness and suffering. There will always be heartache in the permanent form of death, but none of these things are the end of our story. Love is. Jesus is. Heaven is. And Easter is our promise of that joy. What has God done for me this year? Everything. He’s done everything. And to know that He has done it with joy makes my heart sing. A love like that is almost unbelievable. How do I know it exists? I know because not only has He told me in His word, He continually reminds me when sorrow makes my heart forget. I truly believe God gave me writer’s block because He wanted to be the author and finisher of my faith. Easter is the perfect first chapter. It’s ending is a beginning. A beginning overflowing with pure love and absolute joy. Easter. For the joy that was set before Him He endured the cross that we might become the children of God. My dad is partaking in that reality in heaven even now. I get to partake of that reality here on earth. All because of Jesus. And because of that reality, my story has only just begun. “Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God...” 1 John 3:1 “For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:26 “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2
3/27/2021
Palms and PromisesWhoever finds a palm tree first gets a pickle...
I don’t know where my granddaughter Clara came up with this game, but we all started laughing. Five grandkids in the back of our vehicle, only minutes away from our vacation destination. The excitement could not be contained. It got me thinking about Palm Sunday and the excitement Easter holds, and I couldn’t help but think of the verse~ “eye hath not seen, nor ear heard... the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him.” I Corinthians 2:9 Do you know what I like about Palm Sunday? Despite knowing the future anguish Christ would endure for all of mankind, God did not stop there. We can praise God for the promise of Easter and the knowledge that one day in heaven we will have eternity to shout Hosanna! So today, I’d like to share with you a place, a problem, a Person and a promise. I’d like to tell you about a place. It’s a place that isn’t popular to talk about in this “feel good” generation, when so many are scared to even go out of their homes, and just want to escape into the unreality of television and social media. It’s a place whose destination has been joked about, and even bragged about at times. It’s a place called hell. It isn’t great material for jokes, it’s a horrifying place of fire and darkness. It’s real and it’s eternal. (1) It’s a destination for all sinners. There will be no so social gatherings there. There will be no parties or camaraderie. Only torment and pain. (2) The cost of our sin. (3) I’d like to tell you about a problem. The problem that lies within each and every one of us. A problem we are all born with, myself included. (4) That problem is sin. From murdering to the little white lie, sin is sin. None of us are sinless. I am as much a sinner as the murderer on death row or the sweet, little old lady down the street. (5) Being a pastor’s wife does not make me exempt. No one is exempt. There is nothing we can do, no good deeds we can accomplish, no church we can attend, no charity we can give to that can take away that sin. (6) And because of the depravity of our sinful hearts, the punishment for that sin is separation from God and eternity in hell. (7) I’d like to tell you about a Person. The only sinless Person Who took all our sins upon Himself so that we would not have to face that punishment. That Person isn’t me. It isn’t my pastor husband. It isn’t the priest or the preacher down the street. That Person is Jesus. (8) Born in a manger, He took the form of a human baby for the love of a people who don’t deserve it, but desperately need it. (9) Jesus Who, with joy endured the brutal beating and death on a cross to save our wicked souls from eternity in hell. (10) Jesus Who rose again from that death and sits on the right hand of God the Father, making intercession for us, praying for us even now. (11) That person Who we owe everything to. That person is inviting you to a promise. (12) I’d like to tell you about that promise. To believe. To have faith in that belief that Jesus took your sins upon Himself on that cross. (13) To joyfully except His invitation by repenting and turning away from the blindness sin has caused (14) in allowing you to somehow be fooled into thinking that hell isn’t that bad, and heaven isn’t that good, and Jesus death was just a bible story for little kids in Sunday school. The lie that the Bible and church is for religious people or fanatics and that you’ll be just fine, because you aren’t that bad a person. You’re actually pretty good. There is nothing good about us. (15) Our hearts need the grace only Jesus can give. (16) Our hearts need the faithful believing that His shed blood on that cross washes away sins. (17) Our hearts need sorrow for that sin and repentance. Our hearts need Jesus. (18) And once we have Jesus, He promises us that we are forever His child. Nothing will ever separate us from Him. He promises us a home in heaven when we leave this earth. He promises to never leave us or forsake us. He promises to be with us always. (19) A palm tree and a pickle. A place, a problem, a Person and a beautiful promise. Are you excited about your destination after death? We have hope in the Person and His promise. Freedom from the fear of death. (20) The hope of heaven and not hell, but so much more that that~ The hope that we get God. We get Jesus. Our Father, our Friend, our forgiveness. Our Savior. We get a love beyond anything our human hearts have ever, or could ever comprehend. (21) Yes, there is a place and a problem, but there is a Person with a Promise. And that embodies peace. (22) (1) Psalm 11:6 (2) Luke 16:22-31 (3) Romans 6:23 (4) Romans 5:12 (5) Romans 3:23 Revelation 21:8 (6) Ephesians 2:8-9 (7) Romans 5:10 (8) I John 2:2, 4:9-10 (9) Philippians 2:7 (10) Hebrews 12:2 (11) Romans 8:34 (12) Revelation 3:20 (13) I Peter 2:24 (14) 2 Corinthians 4:4 (15) Romans 7:18 (16) Romans 5:15 (17)I John 1:7-9 (18) 2 Corinthians 7:9-10 (19) Hebrews 13:5 Matthew 28:20 (20) I John 4:18 Hebrews 2:14-15 Romans 15:13 (21) Ephesians 3:16-19 (22) Philippians 4:7 “I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart: and I will glorify thy name for evermore. For great is thy mercy toward me: and thou hast delivered my soul from the lowest hell.” Psalms 86:12-13
2/20/2021
Stop Speaking AT GodPart 3
Way back when I was in college, before cell phones and instant communication, my university had this cute mail system set up. Every night the guys and girls would send and receive letters from each other, and at a set time each evening the letters would be delivered. The heavy aroma of cologne filled the air as each letter was slipped under your dorm room door. Giggles and excitement always ensued. After I was married, I will never forget the correspondence I received from my sister in law who was attending that same college. Mike and I would just sit and laugh at the things she wrote. At first she wrote all about this “crazy” guy who was pursuing her. He was sending her letters every night, but she had NO interest in him whatsoever. As the months continued on, her correspondence to us changed. Her letters changed because of his letters. Her letters were filled with joy. It was the unfolding of a beautiful love story. He never stopped pursuing her or expressing his love for her and as she read his letters, she got to know him more and more and eventually she fell deeply in love with him... And so we take another step on our journey to joy. My next point on this journey is: Ask God to speak TO you through prayer and scripture, instead of you constantly speaking AT God. Psalms 46:10 Besides praying for God’s help when we are going through hard circumstances, one of the most important things we can do is to listen to God and not just speak AT Him. The best way to listen is to read His love letters to us. How crazy to think that we have God’s very words at our fingertips, love letters that cannot be compared to any love our human hearts have ever experienced and yet, we never pick them up and read them. If you’ve grown up in church like I have you probably know verses like the back of your hand. At times when I’ve been through some gut wrenching moments I just want to scream~ “I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW! I’ve read these verses a thousand times. I can quote them in my sleep!!! I know what they say, but it isn’t helping me!!!” I think those are the moments I just want to wallow in self pity, feel sorry for myself and scream at the world that “IT ISN’T FAIR!!!” When I find myself in situations like this, God has shown me time and time again that this is all just satan’s manipulation. I can’t just quote a verse and expect it to heal my heart immediately. Even verses that I’ve known to be truth my whole life will not mean a thing during sorrowful circumstances if I don’t stop. II Chronicles 20:17 *Stop talking at God about my pitiful life and start listening to what He is trying to teach me. *Listen for God speaking to my broken heart through those words. *Meditate on them and realize that they are God’s words, not just letters on a page. They are God’s personal words to my soul and mind, my thoughts and heart. The deepest parts of my being that I’m not even aware of,~but God is. Hebrews 4:12, Psalms 1:2, 63:6, 119:48, Joshua 1:8 Let me put it this way. Do we ever tire of hearing the words “I love you” from another human being? As wonderful as those words are, there are times that we as humans say them out of habit without really thinking about it. That doesn’t mean that we mean them any less. If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, they just come natural. I can remember having a particularly stressful day once and Mike teasing me as he was leaving to drive the bus. I told him “I love you” and with a smirk he said- “are you sure?” We both laughed, but between taking out our stress on each other, the circumstances of our day and the familiarity of the words, they didn’t seem to mean as much. On the other hand, the times that we choose to stop and focus on our relationship and truly listen to each other are the times the familiar words “I love you” come alive to us. They comfort us because we know them to be true. Because we’re human, we can tend to feel the same way toward God. God’s words are truth. Sometimes we just can’t hear that truth because it has become too familiar to us and the familiarity has made us complacent. We allow self pity and the things of this world to drown out the very words God is speaking over us. His word will always be truth because He cannot lie. We can lie to ourselves, satan can lie to us, but God never will. Titus 1:2 So whether you “think” they will help or not, you ask God to speak them over you. Again and again and again. Because only His truth will set you free from the bondage of your circumstances that satan has over you. Psalms 94:19 Perhaps you aren’t like me, perhaps you don’t know God’s word at all. Maybe you have a Bible on a shelf somewhere in your home but you never pick it up and read it. Too often we look at God’s word as if it were a self help book. We only pay close attention to it when we need something or when we’re going through the tough times and want an instant fix. Or, I hear people say that reading the Bible is too hard or boring. They don’t know where to start, or what to read or they don’t understand what they are reading. They give up on it far too quickly and decide it’s not for them. If God’s word does not make sense to you, I humbly ask you to search out your heart and ask yourself if you have ever had a time when you asked Christ to forgive your sins and to be your Savior. Without that relationship, you will not understand what the Heavenly Father is speaking to you. If you truly are a child of God, He promises us in His word that He will help us to understand it. The Holy Spirit will speak it’s truths to our very hearts as we read. John 16:13, 17:17. We just have to pick it up and read it! And so, I go back to my original story. Imagine if my sister in law never opened a single letter she received? Imagine if she just put each letter on a shelf without ever reading it? She would never have gotten to know her soul mate and the deep joy and love that relationship held. The same is true for us. Maybe you do find it hard to read and understand. Maybe you don’t know where to start. My simple advice to you would be to ask God for help and to ask Him to speak to you. Start with a Proverb a day. There are 31 chapters in the book of Proverbs so it’s a perfect book to read each month. Or start with the book of John and all his words about the love of our heavenly Father. Wherever you choose, ask God to open your heart and eyes and don’t stop reading. I guarantee that once you have gotten to know the Healer of your soul and read of the tremendous love your Savior has for you, you will fall in love with the Author. You will find yourself excited to pick up the Bible and read His words to you. You will understand more and more each day. You will know the deep joy that can be found in a relationship with Jesus, just by reading His words of love to you. God’s letters will change your life on your journey to joy. They will be the unfolding of a beautiful love story. A love story that not only ends with Happily Ever After but with joy. A joy unspeakable and full of glory. I Peter 1:8 Romans 15:13, Psalms 16:7-11, Philippians 1:6 How can I get my joy back?
If I was asked this question a year ago, I would have been very confident in how I responded. Today I don’t know. I guess that isn’t 100% true, sometimes I just “feel” like I don’t know. My emotions feel like a jumble of “I don’t knows”. Even though there are a lot of good answers on how to find joy, I can tell you this, not all circumstances merit that cliche answer many people like to throw out there. ie~ “choose joy”. It isn’t always that simple. The “fake it till you make it” mentality doesn’t work when it comes to joy. Sure we can change our attitudes and mindset to reflect happiness, but in some circumstances the darkness is still buried deep inside, no matter our good intentions . The good news is, there is Someone Who will always be our answer. THE answer to every heartbreaking circumstance this world throws at you. Jesus~ first and foremost. Actually, only Jesus. The end. He’s the answer. Joy=Jesus. God obviously knew that our human hearts would still struggle. He knows our frame. (Psalms 103:13-14) He is our strength through every circumstance. We’re the ones who forget. So he gave us His word. The Bible. And in it we find a wealth of wisdom on how to find joy. The hard part is applying that wisdom to our everyday lives. How do you find joy when you’ve lost more loved ones in the last year than ever before? How do you find joy after coming home from a heart wrenching funeral of the dearest friend, only to find your precious daddy gone without warning the very next day? How do you smile when your heart hurts terribly for friends and loved ones going through their own heart wrenching moments? Sickness, job loss, accidents, affairs, abusive relationships, death. When sleep won’t come because you can’t stop hurting for them? Or for yourself? When you feel like joy and Jesus are very far away? And in the unexpected moments when you do catch yourself smiling and feel a little spark of that joy, you immediately feel guilt along with it. Our little church has been bombarded with heartache lately. Truly tough stuff. It’s knocked the air out of our lungs as my husband and I try to minister. Last week I woke up feeling like this heavy cloud was hanging over my life. Our lives. I just wanted everything to stop. I wanted to sit in front of my cozy fire, oblivious to my circumstances and forget everything. I wanted to smile again. I wanted to go back to when things were predictable and happy. When I woke up feeling that way, I could almost picture that black cloud hovering above me and all I could utter was~ “God please help me.” And He did. God immediately reminded me of the story in the Old Testament about the children of Israel wandering in the wilderness for 40 years. (You can read about it here~Exodus 13:21-22, 40:34-38, Numbers 9:15-23, Psalms78:14) If you’re not familiar, God led them with a cloud by day. The moment God brought that picture into my head felt like freedom. God was in that cloud. It was His reminder to me that He is always with me, even in the dark clouds hanging over my life. He is in control and despite feeling hopeless, He is in that cloud protecting and guiding me. Not only did God lead and protect them with a cloud by day, He also gave them a pillar of fire by night. Just as I longed for my predictable life and the comfort of sitting next to my cozy fire, I saw that pillar of fire that God provided as comfort too. (John 14:8) If you continue digging deeper into God’s words you will find that the pillar of cloud and fire were continually leading and when they stopped, the people were to stop and set up God’s tabernacle. That tabernacle was God’s gracious presence. A place to reside for a time. A home. A dwelling place. God showed me that He is always leading. Sometimes my moments might feel cozy, warm and comfortable and other times I might feel like a dark cloud is parked over every facet of my existence. That’s when God wants me to stop. Stop wandering on my own and just be home with Him in His beautiful presence, beside the still waters (Psalms 23) and among the peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7) . He tells me I can stay as long as I need because He will never leave. (Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5) He is my dwelling place no matter what circumstances look like all around me. (Psalms 46:1-2, 91:1-9) Despite that phenomenal story of God’s leading in the Old Testament, His children still complained. They were still afraid. They wanted to go back to their predictable lives back in Egypt, even though they were slaves in that predictable existence. They missed all the beauty that was ahead for them. All that God had prepared for them. I don’t want to miss the beauty God has ahead for me. I don’t want to just exist and be a slave to my circumstances. I don’t want you to miss God’s beauty either. That dark cloud that you might feel is constantly looming overhead, that cloud is guiding you. Whatever your cloud might be, God is in it. In the next few weeks I would like to take you on a journey with me. The journey to find joy again. I want to help you to see that God is in that cloud. I want to show you specific ways God has shown me how to find joy again, despite the deeply sorrowful circumstances we might be in. I want to share with you my Savior’s solutions. He is there. Don’t let go of that hope. Joy will come again. My heart is glad. My whole being rejoices. My flesh rests in hope. (Psalm 16:7-11, 30:5, 34:17-19, Isaiah 41:10)
1/16/2021
Run and PlayIn that moment, I saw God.
Not an angry God. Not a disappointed God. A forgiving God. A loving God. A God full of joy. Let me take you there... My grandson’s big blue eyes held a lot of fear for such a little guy. He was confessing to his parents. He was asking for forgiveness. You see, moments before in Sunday school I had taught a lesson on that very subject. Forgiveness. His little 5 year old mind couldn’t seem to grasp the concept, so I made up a story to illustrate. A fictional story about him, a little boy who broke something of his moms without her knowing. The little boy hid what he broke, but later that night as he lay in bed his heart seemed to hurt. He knew he had to tell her what he had done. He needed to confess. So he went to her bedroom and explained everything. With tears he told her he was sorry and asked her to please not be mad for what he had done. He asked for forgiveness. As I told that fictional story his eyes seemed to increase in size with every detail, and then I found out why. He told me his own story. We both decided it was something he needed to confess to his parents. So here we were, in the front pew after church. With his sweet little lisp he spoke- “Last summer, I climbed up on top of the shelves in the garage and reached for some of your pottery and one piece fell and broke... so I buried it in the dirt behind the garage. I’m sorry”. There was no hesitation in his parent’s reaction. They could see his repentance. He was their child. They smiled (and almost laughed) they pulled him close and hugged him and told him he was forgiven. And with childlike faith, it was over. He smiled and ran to play. In that moment I saw forgiveness. I saw freedom and release. I saw unconditional love. Little Gabe did not carry that weight with him. He let it go and with unabashed joy he laughed and played as if it never happened, and in amazement I watched it all unfold. This 55 year old grandma was reminded again of the love my Father has for me. This was God. Our Father. How often do we feel the weight of guilt for the things we have done? How often do we worry that God is angry with us? We might try to hide our sin, or we might recognize it, repent and ask for forgiveness, but deep down we struggle with believing that our past truly can be forgiven. We might view God as an angry God who expects perfection and if we don’t measure up, punishment will ensue. But this is not God at all. Our God is the God of that little child. You are that child. He is our God full of mercy, grace and love. Our “It is finished” Father. Our God who wants us to have faith as a little child. To leave it all with Him and to experience the freedom, joy and peace of repentance and forgiveness. At times I think we make it too hard. We’re human and we tend to look at God as if He were human too. He holds no grudges as we do. Whether it’s broken pottery or a broken past, with absolutely no hesitation He pulls us close and hugs us. He tells us~ “It is finished my child~ All has already been forgiven”. With the beauty this knowledge holds, how can we not be filled with unadulterated, pure joy in that freedom? Our Father is smiling down at us~ let us run and play again. No thought of the past. No fear of the future. As little children. Children full of faith in the love and forgiveness of our heavenly Father. Psalm 103:12 Romans 5:20b Hebrews 7:25 I John 1:7, 9 II Corinthians 5:21
12/24/2020
Find JesusI stumbled downstairs last Sunday and with sleepy eyes poured myself a cup of coffee. At the moment, I definitely did not feel excitement. I was tired and wouldn’t have minded crawling right back into bed. And then it hit me. Today was my anniversary, and immediately I thought about Charisse 35 years ago on this day. The barely 20 year old who couldn’t sleep. The young girl who couldn’t wait for this day and the beginning of a life full of beautiful. The thankfulness her heart felt toward God for blessing her with everything this day held. Yet here I was, 35 years later muttering about how tired I was. Wishing for bed instead of worship. Many things went wrong on the day of our wedding. A huge snow storm hit that day. The limo my parents ordered to drive us to the wedding never showed up. My father in law’s cummerbund got misplaced, so at the last minute my fiancé drove in the storm to the tuxedo shop to get another. He then got hit by a car due to slippery roads. My grandparents were late due to the storm and almost didn’t make it. The snow worsened by the minute and we weren’t sure anyone would show up. None of this swayed my joy. None of this made me want to go back to bed so I didn’t have to think about all the “bad”. All I could focus on was him, Because I loved him. As I remembered that day, it gripped my heart. It’s the season of Christmas and yet, so many of us are focusing on the bad. The countless number of times I have heard or read that “2020 is the worst year in history” has been staggering. I can’t help but think about God and the murmuring He hears coming from those of us who are supposedly His children. Praise has not been on our lips, including my own. Thankfulness has not filled our hearts, but instead continual complaining about all we are subject to. There is no joy. There will always be something to complain about. We live in a sin cursed world where the wrong seems to outweigh the right. We can complain about our government or injustice or this pandemic and the rules we are asked to abide by. We can complain about not seeing family members or the fear of catching this sickness. But I would like to remind you that the good can outweigh the bad, we just haven’t been looking for it. We have been focusing on the bad so much that we have lost sight of all the incredibly good things God has blessed us with. Lives filled with beautiful. I would like to challenge you today to focus on Him. I have found in my own life that when I take my focus off of Him and place it on myself, I find all kinds of things to complain about. But, when I shift my focus to Him I find countless reasons to be thankful. That’s when joy floods my heart and soul. Think back to a special day in your own life. A day that you remember that feeling of pure joy and the reasons you felt that joy. That’s a beginning. That’s the first step in telling God thank you. If we could just decide in our hearts that we are going to choose thankfulness and praise over complaining, our lives will be transformed. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of the bad. I’m sick of social media and the news and the constant “bad” that is bombarding us. I want to focus on the good. All that is good in our life is only because of God. I want to focus on Him. I know there are hard days. I’m not always the picture of happiness and joy. Sweet friends have gone home to heaven this year. My precious dad went home to heaven. Covid has hit our little town. Family won’t be with us to celebrate this year. Our children’s Christmas program has been canceled. Just yesterday I broke down while shopping. The memory of Christmas shopping with my dad just last year hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to hide out in the underwear section until the tears subsided. We all have bad days, but later my husband reminded me of what a precious memory that was to have. Christmas shopping with dad. Our wedding day ended up being my fairy tale. All my dreams came true. Over 500 people came out in that storm to celebrate our union. Happiness and joy filled the church that day. A day I will never forget. Don’t ever forget when Christ filled your heart. A heart that once was dark, now filled with His light and love, joy and happiness. What if we all chose to celebrate Christ’s birth differently than the rest of the world, despite the storms we have all been facing? Find the good. Find the thankful. Find the gladness and joy. Find the beautiful. It’s right there where you are, you’ve just been missing it. This Christmas, focus on Him. Find Jesus. And he brought forth his people with joy, and his chosen with gladness:” Psalms 105:1-5, 43 KJV Psalms 78:22, 32, 37-39, 42, 53 KJV
12/17/2020
35 Years And I Still Adore HimThe other day my husband handed me a piece of mail that contained coupons.
Apparently he had not looked at them. The computers now keep track of previous sales and give you coupons for the specific things you have purchased in the past. I think this is great. I’ve been very careful to keep us on a healthy diet, so coupons are always good. I opened them up and funny thing~ there were coupons for organic orange juice, fresh fruits and vegetables, grass fed beef.... I looked up at him with a smirk. “I don’t remember buying Pringle’s or peanut M&M’s” I said. He tried his hardest to keep a straight face but we both burst out laughing. No way out of this one. He thought he hid the evidence but he’d been caught. Tomorrow we will celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary. That’s pretty baffling to me when I think about it. When I was little, I vividly remember my mom complaining about turning 35 because she thought it was so old. I don’t know why that stuck with me, but here I am. Married that long. To the same man. Haha The man that can literally drive me insane. He can make me cry and scream and mutter things a pastor’s wife shouldn’t say under her breath. But I adore him. He’s my rock. He loves me no matter what. He makes me laugh when my heart slides down into dark places. He pulls me back out and shows me how to smile again. I love him with my everything and I’d do anything for that man, despite the Pringles and peanut M&M’s. 😉 Mike and I do not have a perfect marriage. We argue and fight and say things we shouldn’t say. Anger, bitterness and grudges have visited us. We’ve gone through some hard things. We definitely aren’t the epitome of the perfect couple, but in my eyes, everything about our marriage is beautiful. When I think about how much I love him, I don’t think it could be possible for my heart to be any more full. .....I know I’ve said this before, but it’s just so phenomenal to me~ When I think about that kind of love, I can’t help but think of the overwhelming love God has for me, despite me. There’s no hiding the evidence of my sins from God. He knows my every thought and deed. Can you grasp that? Our perfect, sinless God knows our EVERY thought and deed. Every single one. And yet, He loves us. He doesn’t hold it against us. He forgives us and has mercy and grace. Just like Mike and I are celebrating our love on our anniversary tomorrow, in a few weeks we will be celebrating that amazing love God has for us. Christmas. The day He sent His Son to a little town called Bethlehem to be born for the sins of the whole world. The sins He took upon himself when He died on the cross. Marriage isn’t always easy. There have been times I have not wanted to forgive. Times I was hurt and felt justified in holding onto the anger my heart felt. I’m sure Mike has felt the same way about me at times too. But when you love someone more than you love yourself, when you offer mercy and grace and put their needs above your own, it’s a beautiful thing. Thank God He always forgives. Thank God that because of the blood His Son shed on the cross and the gift of salvation He offers, we are justified in His sight. Just as if we never sinned. In God’s eyes everything about us is perfect. And that’s a beautiful thing. His love is the love that will make you laugh. That will pull you out of the dark places. That will give you joy. His love is the love that will never be angry or hold a grudge. His love is the love that knows about the Pringles and M&M’s of our lives, the things no one else knows, and yet loves us still. His love is perfect and beautiful and I adore Him. As I celebrate with the love of my life tomorrow, that’s the beautiful I want our story to portray. That’s the beautiful I want you to behold and celebrate this Christmas. God’s perfect, beautiful love. A love that causes me to adore Him, but even more unfathomable is the knowledge that God adores me. He adores me!! He adores me with His everything, And that’s such a beautiful, beautiful thing.
12/11/2020
Give It All To MeThe morning sun shimmered across a blanket of heavy snow.
It was breathtaking. Each crystal captured a single ray of sunshine and turned the world into diamonds. Andrea’s feet touched the cold floor as she slipped out of bed, her sisters still fast asleep. She tiptoed into Michael’s room and they quietly made their way downstairs. They didn’t want to wake up dad. This was something they wanted to do on their own. Moments later, adorned with coats and scarves, boots and mittens, they quietly stepped outside. The chill took their breath away, but it didn’t matter. The excitement they held warmed them from head to toe. “Stay behind me,” Andrea cautioned. “Step into my footprints as I walk so we don’t mess up the pretty snow.” The weight of what she was carrying made the journey more difficult, but she was determined. Michael followed close behind, carefully stepping into each footprint her tiny boots made. Finally they made it to the road. “Dad will be so happy we did this for him” Michael said, but just as the words left his mouth a truck pulled up. The man rolled down his window and said “Hey kids! No trash pick up today! It’s Christmas Eve. Let your dad take care of that after Christmas” All the worry of keeping the snow as perfect as possible. All the worry of trying to make their father pleased. All for naught. Some of you might be more like my children than you realize. You try so hard. You try to obey God’s words, carefully stepping into each rule you think is necessary to get you into heaven. Working so hard to be good and to receive the acceptance of your Father. Taking step by step, commandment by commandment. And yet, despite all your striving, there you stand~somehow still holding the garbage of sin that makes you feel unworthy. Wishing your heart was empty of it, yet feeling the weight as it gets heavier and heavier every day. Wondering if you will ever be good enough. Wondering if God will be pleased with you. My friend, all our works at trying harder are for naught, because no matter what we do, how hard we try, how we work to make our hearts as white as snow~ we will still be left holding our sin. Just like my children were left holding our garbage. The good news is~ that’s not the end of the story. On the very first Christmas Eve our world was in darkness. Up until that day we were left holding our sin with no one to take it from us. But on Christmas... He broke through that darkness. The God Who created the universe took on the form of a newborn baby. He was born for you and for me. He was born to take away the sins of the world. My friend~ He wants you to hand Him the weight of your heaviness, the burden of your sin. He wants to cleanse your heart and empty it of every heartache and disappointment, of everything you’ve been trying so hard to fix and then he wants to fill that emptiness with Himself. You don’t have to hold that burden anymore. That’s the gift of Christmas. Jesus Himself. No more trying for perfection and failing. He doesn’t want perfection. He just wants us. The very next morning~on Christmas Day, Christmas Eve snow covered up the empty prints my children had left. They were filled with beautiful new snow. No trash on the curb, no more emptiness in the path they had trod. Only beauty. The beauty of the gift of Christmas. Turn and look at the footprints you’ve been trying so hard to stay inside. If we could ever be that perfect, there would be no need for Christmas at all. There would be no reason for Christ to be born. He was born for one reason. To die on the cross for our sins. For all the things we think we can somehow clean up ourselves. Hand Him your heart that’s holding on to all the garbage that’s crippling you. Hear His words this Christmas season as He whispers into your emptiness~ ”Stop trying so hard to pick up your trash my child. Its Christmas! Let your Father take care of that. It’s the reason I was born so long ago. Give it all to Me~ believe in Me and I will wash you whiter than snow”. Psalm51:7, Isaiah 1:18
11/20/2020
Heaven On EarthI made my daughter a pot of chili the other day. It’s one of her favorites. She sent me a text later that read~” this chili tastes like heaven in my mouth”. 😂😂
I needed that laugh. It got me thinking~ What does heaven on earth mean to you? To some it might mean the comfort of a hot bowl of soup or a slice of deliciousness drenched in chocolate. To some it might mean cuddling with your spouse on date night. To some it might mean having your entire family home for the holidays. And to some it might mean freedom from crippling depression or anxiety, no more worry over pandemics or politics. Just peace. But what does heaven on earth look like to Jesus? It doesn’t look like my yesterday’s have looked this month. Grief has left an emptiness but it has also left empathy. Thousands of women are wishing and praying for a glimpse of heaven on earth as the holidays approach. This week as I read the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:9-10 “thy will be done~ on EARTH as it is in HEAVEN” they had a different meaning to me. Heaven seems so much closer to me as every year passes, but Jesus doesn’t want heaven to only be something that we look forward to ‘someday’. He wants us to live and experience heaven on earth today. So I asked Him how. Through the darkness of grief, how do I live heaven on earth? He opened my heart to hundreds of possibilities and this post was the very first way. Sharing the immense beauty of heaven with others who are going through depression and sadness or stress and anxiety. I needed to get myself up, dust myself off and realize that my grief is not unique. I needed to focus on others. I needed to focus on Jesus. Simple acts of serving and loving are a huge way of living heaven on earth. Two words that perfectly describe Jesus. He was constantly serving during His ministry here on earth and then with a sinless, pure, unconditional love~ He died in the cross for all humanity and it’s only because of Him that heaven is possible. Philippians 2 In order to experience heaven on earth we must realize our great need for God’s presence, provision, love, redemption, grace, peace and mercy. Heaven is Jesus. Plain and simple. Every one of us needs Him. When I fixed my thoughts on all these things, the beautiful light of heaven and God’s glory broke through my dark and empty heart and through the praise and thankfulness of worship I truly felt heaven on earth. And that made me want to share that joy and happiness with all of you. Everywhere we go we have the opportunity to share a piece of ourselves. We can choose to share sadness or grumpiness and allow it to rub off on everyone we come in contact with or we can choose to switch our focus to Jesus and share the crazy joy and happiness that He gives. Do we even realize the power our attitudes hold? Can you imagine if we all chose to share the good? To share the light of Jesus and His joy as the holidays approach? That’s heaven on earth guys. Love, joy, serving, sharing. Jesus. We are His body. Let’s make sure heaven is shining from the inside out bringing glorious light to all the darkness so many are going through today. If you are feeling the weight of that darkness, let me introduce you to Jesus. Let me help you experience heaven on earth. Reach out to me today and allow me to share from God’s word what that means. And if you already know Jesus, worship Him right now in this moment. Thank and praise Him. Share His beauty and joy. Feel heaven wash over you today. Let’s carry it with us wherever we go and through everything we do because joy is the serious business of heaven, the joy that only Jesus can bring. Colossians 3:1-4 Romans 14:17 Psalm 34:8 Psalm 16:11 Revelation 22:5 Revelation 21 “Joy is the serious business of heaven.”CS Lewis.
11/12/2020
The Sweetest VisitIt was the sweetest visit.
The time went by way too fast, but it was precious. Three full years, almost to the day. Right down my street. He came and he stayed, with no rush or agenda. Just sitting, visiting and reminiscing. We laughed so much. Sometimes we cried. We went on Father Daughter “dates” and drank the best cup of Main Street coffee (his favorite). I rocked with him every summer night on his porch. I signed every note and card “Daddy’s Little Girl”. He told me so many stories about his life that I never knew. I didn’t think I could love him more than I already did. His visit changed all that, and my love grew deeper every day. I wanted happiness for him, yet even through the fun times and the laughter, there was always a bit of loneliness in his eyes for home. For his sweetheart. At times I could tell he was physically in pain, but he would never complain. He always smiled. He always laughed. He joked with me and he worried about me. Each conversation was like a comforting hug. Each “goodnight text” and each “good morning” Santa emoji made me smile. I knew he wouldn’t be able to stay long, but in my heart I had hoped it would be longer. He didn’t like goodbyes, so the day he left shouldn’t have been a surprise. He wouldn’t have wanted to say goodbye. He wouldn’t have wanted any sadness, so he quietly left. He went home. Home to his sweetheart. Home to his Father. I didn’t want him to leave. The pain seems unbearable to not have him here with me anymore. I wonder if the tears will ever stop. At times I am completely broken and feel I can’t go on. He moved in, right down my street on October 6, the week of Homecoming. We got to watch the school parade together. He got to see his great grandchildren marching and calling “Hi Pops!” Three years later on October 8 he left. The week before Homecoming. Homecoming. Now he is truly Home. And I think of him and how happy he is to be there. No more pain or loneliness or sadness. His little girl could never have taken that away from him while he was here, no matter how hard I tried. I’m so thankful God gave us that three year visit. What a precious, happy time. I know without a doubt that I will see him again. I will get to go to his home and it won’t just be a visit. We will have eternity to laugh together with our Heavenly Father. No more tears or sadness, pain or loneliness. It was the very best visit. Every day mattered. I’m so glad I realized that sooner than later. I’m so glad I rode my bike down to his house every day. I’m so glad I cooked him meals and took him to doctor appointments. I’m so glad he got three wonderful years with his grandkids and great grandkids. I’m so glad I didn’t have to say goodbye. It was just a visit and I will see him again soon. He isn’t gone forever, just for a while. Thank you Jesus for allowing him to visit me. Thank you Jesus for writing me a love letter that gives me the assurance that this was not goodbye. Thank you Jesus for preparing a home for him. Thank you Jesus for preparing a home for me. Not a home on Prospect Street in Caseville. A home on streets of gold. Next door to my daddy in the presence of our Father. He isn’t home in heaven today because he was such a great dad or grandpa. He’s not home because he went to church or tried his best to be good. He’s home because of Jesus taking away his sins on the cross. He’s home because he knew he was a sinner that needed a Savior. Jesus transformed his heart and life. All of us are truly just visiting. This world isn’t our home for eternity. We don’t ever have to say a final goodbye. I’d love for you to know that you can have a home with my dad and my Heavenly Father someday. I’d love for you to meet the man that made my heart so happy and the Father who’s joy is my strength. We can be free of the fear of death because of Jesus. That’s something my daddy would’ve wanted you to know. No sad goodbyes. Just a sweet and precious visit.
11/2/2020
ARE YOU FATHERLESS?The raw humanity of grief has overwhelmed my soul the last few weeks. My heart feels such a hurting emptiness. My emotions have gone from despair to anger to joy, almost as if I’m on a roller coaster. Despair that I will never say I love you to my dad again, or visit with him on his porch. No texts, no meals together, no more reminiscing about the beautiful life God blessed us with. Despair at the feeling that my childhood has been taken from me and I am left alone without the comfort of a mom or a dad to love me, as only a mom and dad can. Anger when others have told me God won’t give me more than I can handle. Anger that someone would tell my kids they shouldn’t be so broken hearted. Anger when others have told me my dad wouldn’t want me sad, or how much sweeter heaven gets every day. My selfish heart wants that sweetness back. My selfish heart wants them here with me again. I am ashamed to even admit this. I know in my heart that the despair and the anger are not where God wants me to stay, but I also know He understands. He understands the despair. He understands the anger. When you lose someone you loved with all your heart, He understands the tears. The tears fell this week. I cried out to God. I told Him I don’t want to be strong, I just want my dad back. I begged God to help me. As I cried out to Him, somehow through the tears and the despair, through the anger and the weeping~joy came. Psalm 30:5b Joy because God showed me how very much He loves me. His love is infinitely greater than my own. It’s infinitely greater than the love of my mom or my dad. God’s love is greater than life itself. As I wept over the fact that I lost my dad so close to Christmas and that we would not be sharing our favorite holiday together, as I tried to hold on to hope amidst the ache my heart felt~God reminded me of a song my daughter sang last Christmas Eve. A song my dad loved. I have listened to that song over and over again this week. The words have filled me with unexplainable joy~ “Wondrous Gift of heaven, the Father sends the Son. Planned from time eternal, moved by holy love. He will carry our curse~ and death He’ll reverse~ so we can be daughters and sons. Who would’ve dreamed, or ever foreseen that we could hold God in our hands? The Giver of life, born in the night revealing God’s glorious plan. To save the world. To save the world.” He knew the pain of death and separation from our loved ones would be a pain we could never bear on our own. He knew the sin of the world would bring death. And so~ He sent His Son. God sent His Son to save the world. He sent His Son to save me. He sent His Son to save you. That is the joy I will focus on. The joy of the wondrous gift God gave me. The gift of His Son. He reversed death and gave me the gift of eternal life in heaven with Him. The gift of being carried home to my people someday. The gift of being in the presence of God almighty. The gift of falling into the arms of my Jesus, my Savior and my Redeemer. The gift of knowing that my mom and my dad are in Gods presence even now. Because God gave His only begotten Son. The rawness of my broken heart will probably never go away until the day I see Jesus, but I will cling to that joy in the brokenness because those I miss so very much are in the presence of Jesus. And one day I will be too. I can never stop thanking Him for such a beautiful gift. I miss my dad~ but I am God’s daughter. He is a Father to the fatherless. He is my Father, a Father of infinite love. Love greater than life itself.
9/15/2020
Are You More Powerful Than God?Do you think you are stronger than Jesus or more powerful than God?
The majority of people reading this would laugh and say no. I would laugh and say no. But I’d be wrong. I know I have written about this recently, but in my heart I believe someone needs this today~ because I needed this today. Again. Satan has a way of twisting my thoughts and subtly making me believe that I have more power than Jesus does. Do you want to know how? By making me believe that I’m a big disappointment to God because I’m not doing enough to earn His favor. What’s wrong with this mindset? Good works are not wrong. They become wrong when we begin to believe that in doing these things God will love us more, He will answer our prayers or He will bless our lives. They become wrong when we believe if we don’t do these things He will be angry with us or even punish us. And in believing that lie, we give the power to ourselves. Read that again~ WE GIVE THE POWER TO OURSELVES. Somehow we believe that our power trumps Christ’s. Matthew 28:18 It is only through placing our faith in Jesus and his shed blood on the cross that we are given grace. Ephesians 2:8-9 Grace. There’s not a single thing we can do that would make God love us more, because His unconditional love for us rests in the death of His Son on the cross and there is no love greater than that. John 15:13, I John 4:10 Religions everywhere proclaim that if you just do more, God will be happy with you. Some teach that you have to dress a certain way or listen to the right kind of music. Sadly in the teaching, grace gets buried and good works and rules become the focus. We believe if we mess up the works, God will certainly chastise. With this mindset we tend to look down on others who do not obey our set of “rules” and trick ourselves into believing we are more righteous because of what WE do and not what CHRIST already did. In other religions the teachings switch to what you must do just to get into heaven. Confession to someone other than God, communion, steps and degrees of holiness, gaining God’s favor by giving to charities or serving (with the fear that this favor could be lost at any time). Once again, a religion of rules that buries grace. All the while the religions are teaching that what we are doing somehow outweighs what Jesus already did. Here’s the difference~ JESUS ISN’T A RELIGION. JESUS IS A RELATIONSHIP. It is certainly wonderful to have good works, but not out of guilt or want of reward. Our works should be an outpouring of our love for our Savior. Please hear me friend. You are not stronger than Jesus. There is nothing you can do that could earn you a ticket to heaven. You do not have that power. There is nothing you do that can separate you from God’s love. You do not have that power. Once you have accepted that Jesus is the only way to heaven and truly believe that God’s gift in sacrificing His Son is the only gift of grace~and not anything you could ever do~then you will be free from the bondage of works. Titus 3:4-7. You will be free from the chains of guilt and trying harder. You will have a relationship with a Father Who continually gives amazing grace. Who will never leave you. Who will always love you. No matter how hard we try we will always fail because we are human. We measure God’s standards by our human standards but praise God, He is not human and we aren’t Jesus. Psalm 103:10-14. I too often find myself scared that God is angry with me. Scared that I screwed up again. So I try a little harder. I do a little more, but I fail time after time. All of this really hit home for me last summer. We took all 5 of our grandchildren (ages 2-8) up north to our family cottage. Our grandchildren absolutely love it there. Excitement filled the car the entire drive up. As we got closer they began chanting “Higgins lake, Higgins lake” over and over with smiles on their faces. The cottage isn’t anything spectacular. It’s a tiny two bedroom on a lot in the woods, but to our grandchildren it’s everything. It’s memories and love and time with family. We didn’t make them do a single thing to enter that cottage when they got there. We allowed them in because we love them. They are family. The following day Mike and I were surprised to see those kids outside raking and pulling weeds. They were working as hard as their little bodies would allow. With smiles on their faces. I asked why they were doing it and Ethan’s reply was “for Bapa, because we love him so much” Ya that brought tears. Do u see where I’m going here? Yes we need to realize how sinful we are but the moment we do and we ask God for forgiveness and for the gift of His salvation through His Son’s shed blood on the cross, we will always have a home in heaven~ because we are family. We become God’s child. We will be excited about our walk with God. We will want to serve and pray and give out of sheer love for our Savior. Not for reward. Not out of guilt or shame or worry of punishment. Simply out of love. The closer we get to Jesus, the more love out pours from our hearts and we find rest in His power to save us from ourselves. AND THAT MY FRIEND IS GRACE. Galatians 2:16-21, II Corinthians 12:9, Ephesians 3:7-12.
7/19/2020
Shining From The Inside OutDo you know how to pray?
I’m confessing my faults here. It doesn’t always come easy for me. I’m not a morning person at all, and I’m not a social butterfly. Two things that really seem to hinder my prayer life at times. I’ve written articles on this before but even after 54 years, I can’t say I’ve got it down. I don’t wake up and automatically talk to God. I’m one of those “don’t talk to me for 2 hours” kind of non-morning people. I wish when that alarm went off I was praising Jesus instead of grumbling all the way to the coffee maker. From the moment I wake up, a thousand thoughts run through my head. The first ten or twenty are usually “I want to go back to sleep”, but then I start thinking ahead about my day and my schedule. I have a hard time just sitting and being still. My hands are always doing something. My mind is always thinking ahead. For me, bible reading comes easy. It’s a task that I am physically doing. Prayer not so much. I am an introvert, a quiet thinker but not a big talker. For some reason I dread even talking on the phone. I’ve heard that women talk way more than men, but in my case my husband must say three times the words I do in a day. And then, as soon as I do start talking to God, my mind begins to wander and I’m thinking of everything I want to accomplish that day. I know that’s not God, that’s Satan trying to limit my prayer life. He knows what our weaknesses are and he knows how to use them against us. When I think of goals, I often think about the account of Moses shining so brightly after he talked to God. Deep down that is my desire. To just shine for Jesus. To just talk to Him so big and so often that everyone knows He is my Jesus. He is my everything. Listening to sermons and reading devotions and going to church can all motivate but having a personal one on one time with Jesus is the only thing that will truly help us get to know God and learn what it means to talk to Him as a Father and Friend. To shine from the inside out. You might be completely different than I am. Prayer might come easy to you but Bible reading is harder. Either way, I hope these next tips can challenge you as you talk to God on a day to day basis. 1. First and foremost, I want you to ask yourself~am I a child of God? I know that I mentioned in my last article that my first tip will always be to ask God for help, but before you can do that~ Do you know if you are truly His child? We are not all “good”. All of us have sinned. We are born sinners. Romans 3:12,23. From that tiny white lie that you told to the murderers on death row. We were all born with a sin nature and can never be good enough or do enough good deeds to somehow make it to heaven when we die. Ephesians 2:8&9. That’s why Jesus had to come and die for our sins. He paid the debt we owed to God for all the wrong we’ve ever done. We have to believe in Him, repent and receive Him to be permanently forgiven of our sins and become God’s child. Romans 10:9&10. This isn’t a “get out of jail free” card or a ticket you hand to God when you die that says “I said a prayer, so I get one free pass to heaven”. This is a true prayer of repentance and forgiveness from the heart that leads to a beautiful relationship with God for all of eternity. John 3:16. If you don’t have a relationship with God, the rest of this article will be of no help to you. If this is something you have questions about, please message me. With all my heart I would love to talk to you further about this. ~So, with that being said~ 2. ASK God for help. If you don’t know where to start, if you don’t know what to say. If you feel like you are talking to a wall and you can’t feel His presence. KEEP asking for help. Every single day. All day. Keep asking. God wants a relationship with you. He wants you to communicate with Him all day long and He wants to help you with this. Pursue Him and don’t give up. Romans 8:26 3. Get to know God better by reading His words. I wrote a post about this that you can read here~ https://www.cbcofcaseville.org/blog/read-through-the-bible A big part of the problem many people have with prayer is that they don’t really know God. You might know about Him but until you open His word and read about His tremendous love for you, prayer will not become real to you. 4. Make it a habit to talk to Him all day long. Prayer doesn’t have to be a special time set aside. Prayer is simply talking to God. Talk to Him, cry with Him, sing with Him. Sit in silence and listen to Him. Thank Him. Prayers of thanksgiving can change everything about your prayer life. I encourage you to read my post about that here~ https://www.cbcofcaseville.org/blog/a-prayer-that-can-change-your-life#comments All of these things are a part of prayer. His presence is ALWAYS with you, so why not talk to Him ALWAYS? 5. Once you are a child of God, nothing can separate you from His love. Romans 8:39, John 10:28&29. You will always be His child but if you know deep down that you have sin in your life, make sure you ask Him to forgive you and restore your relationship. Psalm 66:18. Just like in any relationship, if you have wronged someone, that relationship can’t move forward and flourish until you ask for forgiveness. Now that we got past some basics, here are a few new things God showed me this week about my own prayer life. 1. Quit viewing it as a job, a duty or a mandate and start viewing it as an expression of love. I don’t know how many sermons I’ve heard on the importance of bible reading and prayer. ~You need to read and pray~ has been ingrained into me since junior high. It seemed as if it was almost portrayed as a command and if that command was not followed, punishment would ensue. As the years went by, I didn’t realize I began to view prayer as a duty to God. A job. Something every Christian is “supposed” to do. Prayer can too easily become mechanical. This is not what God intended at all. Think about the person you love most on this earth. Do you ever think about talking to them as a duty? No, that’s ridiculous. We WANT to talk to them. It comes natural because we love them so much. That is how it should be with God. We should wake up excited to speak to Him. We should want to share everything with Him about our day, we should lay all our burdens and anxieties at His feet. He should be the first person we want to go to when problems arise and when overwhelming happiness floods our souls. All because we love Him and all because He loves us. 2. I’ve heard women say that it’s too hard to talk to someone who is not physically there with with them, yet we talk to ourselves all the time. Think about that. Let it sink in. Our inner thoughts command our steps without us even realizing it. Women have thousand of thoughts running through their minds at once. It’s how we were created. Not all our thoughts are good. Not all our thoughts are uplifting. We can beat ourselves up with negative thinking. We listen to our criticizing inner voices and we believe them. Isaiah 55:8&9, Jeremiah 17:9. Why is it so easy to talk to ourselves and to listen to those inner voices, yet convince ourselves that we can’t talk to God or hear from Him? Whenever my inner thoughts start getting the best of me, I have tried to make it a habit to stop listening to them and bring all those thoughts to God. 2 Corinthians 10:5. I talk to Him about everything going through my mind. It’s so much easier to give the burdens to Him. I Peter 5:7. Try this practice the next time your inner thoughts are gaining a negative control on your life. Romans 12:2 3. I’ve read a lot of helpful tips on what to do if your mind wanders like mine does. Things like praying out loud, praying in a room with no distractions, kneeling when you pray etc. What has helped me most is to first ask the Holy Spirit for help, and second to remind myself that Jesus is literally right there with me. I can talk to him so much easier when I picture Him there with me. I can laugh and I can allow Him to hold me as I sob tears of heartache or shame. Because He is right there. Once your mind gets a hold of this truth, prayer is life changing. We are all created different. God knows this. He understands this. Our prayer lives will all look different. There isn’t a magic cookie cutter mold that God expects us to master. God loves you just the way you are and He will love your conversations with Him, because He will know that’s you. He knows everything about you. He knows the deepest thoughts and feelings of our hearts. Nothing is hid from Him, so why not be real and raw when you talk to Him? Don’t try to pray like someone else. Let your prayers be the words your heart speaks. You pray you. And it will change your life. JESUS~ Don't ever let Him become just a nonessential habit. A check list. Let His love break you to the point that nothing in this world compares. Determine that each day you will not talk to others until you talk to Him. When you speak to Him in public, or in private, may you never forget that you are speaking to the King of Kings~ your Almighty Father. Focus on that thought every single time you hear the words "let's pray". That every thought, every word, every action and every reaction is all abandoned to Him and His glory. Let His love be blinding in its brilliance as it shines from your heart. Let Him be so real to you that you can hear His voice in every decision, that you can feel His presence no matter where you are that you can feel His peace no matter what you are going through. Be addicted to Him and Him only. Let thoughts of the cross and His love for you bring you to your knees. Worship Him incessantly. Praise Him endlessly. Pray to Him continually. Don't ever take His grace for granted. Let His mercy move you and His Word always awe you. Be so consumed with Christ that thankfulness is always in your thoughts and on your lips. Always have the selfless heart of the Servant your Savior was. See the world through the eyes of your Savior as He suffered on the cross for your sins and mine. Don't ever get used to it. Let it be renewed in your heart every minute of every day. What does Love require? It required everything. And that’s exactly what He gave. Make Him your Everything.
12/25/2019
Coming Home For ChristmasCOMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS
While my kids were away at college, one of my favorite things about Christmas was when they arrived home. I missed them so much. Before they had cell phones, we had to call their dorm phones. While they were in class I would leave them messages filled with all their favorite Christmas songs. I’d put the receiver next to my CD player and record “I’ll be home for Christmas” on their answering machine. I will never forget the first year my youngest came back home. We were all so excited as we waited at the airport. It was snowing outside and Christmas was just waiting for her back in our small hometown. Just like a scene from Its A Wonderful Life. As we watched the terminal at the airport, I finally spotted her. When she saw me she didn’t say a word. She just hugged me and cried. She cried and cried and wouldn’t let go. (If you knew my youngest, you would know that’s not like her at all.) She didn’t care who was watching or where she was, she just knew that in my arms she was home. In that moment I didn’t think twice about holding her and comforting her. I was so happy she was in my arms. I didn’t think about all the good things she had done as a daughter, and I didn’t have a checklist of all the bad things. She is my daughter and I love her unconditionally. You are God’s daughter. God isn’t keeping a checklist of every good thing you’ve done and every bad thing you’ve done, and then deciding how much He will love you based on that list. God’s love is unconditional. God’s love is Christmas. Wrapped up in a manger. That gift was all for you. God’s love is Jesus. He is leaving you messages of hope and love, mercy and grace. Forgiveness. Just listen. They are the sounds of Christmas. Don’t worry about where you are. Don’t worry about who is watching. You don’t have to say a word. He hears your heart. He misses you. It doesn’t matter what you have done~ His arms are open and waiting. Fall into them dear daughter. Fall into them and cry. Fall into them and laugh. Fall into that love and live. Once you do, you will realize that the peace and comfort He gives is home. Home in His arms. A home that will always be there for you. Christmas is in your Father’s arms. Come home this Christmas. 
9/25/2019
He Will Always Bend DownHE WILL ALWAYS BEND DOWN
TO LISTEN 1 minute read I walked into the auditorium. Services would begin soon. People were filling the pews. People I should greet, I should welcome, I should encourage. Amidst all the bustling and noise I hear a little voice, and I stop everything. It is my 6 year old grandson, excited to recite his bible verse. It takes him a moment, but I smile. I patiently listen. This is important. Another Sunday. I hear a voice, it is my 7 year old granddaughter showing me a hurt. Tears are in her eyes as she seeks comfort. I stop. I hold her. I wipe her tears away. Another Sunday. It is my younger grandson, He is 3. He is asking me for a drink. I lead him into Bapa’s quiet office and hand him my water. And another Sunday it is my younger granddaughter, she is 5. She is asking if I can show her how to play the piano. Since she was a baby she has wanted to sit with me there. And so, amidst all the people the piano lulls for a moment as I show her a few notes. And I stop. Every time. I bend down. I listen. Amidst all the chaos, Amidst all the responsibilities, Amidst all the needs, It all stops around me as I listen, Because my heart is filled with a love for each of them. A love that cannot be explained. And I know. That is the love my God has for me. That is my Jesus Who bends down to listen, amidst everything this world throws at Him. He still bends down to listen To me. He listens when I’m excited, It doesn’t matter to Him how long I ramble. He listens when I’m hurt, and holds me in His arms as He wipes my tears away. He listens when I’m needy, and leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul. He listens when I ask for help. Despite the millions of cries for help all over the world, in that moment all is quiet to my omnipresent God except my tiny voice among many. A love I don’t deserve. A love I have done nothing on my own to merit. The beautiful love of my Father for His child. I am that child. You are that child. His child. And just as if you are His only child in this world, He will always bend down to listen.
7/31/2019
We’re All In This TogetherWE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER
3 minute read “We’re all in this together”. Recently a friend described attending our church this way. I had never thought about it quite like that, but realized immediately how true those words were. We’re all sinners. Nothing we do, no church we attend, no services we perform, no money we give~ None of these things makes us any better than the person sitting next to us. None of these things guarantees us a home in heaven. (Isaiah 64:6, John 14:6, Romans 3:10, I Peter 1:18-19) Only Jesus. And we’re all in this together. I’m so thankful that the Bible didn’t stop at the verse~ ALL have sinned and come short of God’s glory. (Romans 3:23) God made sure we knew how very, very much He loves the WHOLE world, ALL of us, (John 3:16, I John 4:10) and even though we are all sinners and we all deserve punishment (Romans 6:23) ~God didn’t leave us hanging. He didn’t leave us wondering what would happen to us when we die. Instead, He gave us ALL the Gift of His only Son who took our punishment and hung on a cross. (Romans 5:8, Ephesians 1:7,I John 2:2) We don’t have to wonder anymore. We can know, because He tells us so. (I John 5:13) He tells us there is nothing we can physically do to be with Him in heaven when we die. (Ephesians 2:8&9) All we need is a heart of repentance and faith to believe in His gift of eternal life through Jesus. It’s all Jesus. None of us are better than the other. Not my husband (the pastor), not me, not the Sunday School teachers or King’s Kids workers, not the Children’s Church workers or any leader in any church anywhere. Because we’re all in this together. We’re all a bunch of sinners who desperately need Jesus. You don’t have to have some miraculous, pivotal moment in this journey. There are no “rules”. It doesn’t have to be complicated. You don’t have to attend church or be baptized. You can be sitting alone at home or on a quiet beach. You can be in the middle of a busy restaurant or a crazy commute. Gods gift is there for the taking no matter where you are or what you are doing at this very moment. If you haven’t had that time in your heart of hearts that you have put your faith and trust in His gift of Jesus, you can right now! Just talk to God. He’s right there waiting. You can tell Him you love Him. You can say you’re sorry. You can thank Him for sending Jesus. You can just believe. (Romans 10:9-10) And you can know that I’m right there with you~ a sinner who needed Jesus and asked Him to be her Savior when I was 13. It doesn’t make me perfect. I still mess up every day, but thank God He loves me so much, He continually forgives and He whispers to my heart~ It’s okay Charisse~ We’re all in this together.
4/23/2019
It’s In The ExpectingIT’S IN THE EXPECTING
We always hid Easter baskets for our kids when they were little. They absolutely loved finding those baskets, even when it got too hard and they were prompted with the timeless hints of “hot” and “cold”. Why did they love it so much? The expecting. They were expecting a basket full of joy because of all it held inside. What are we expecting? Sadly, many of us have grown cold. We have gotten farther and farther away from the joy that comes in the expected. And in the coldness, time spent with God has become a duty. Church should never be just a duty. It’s not a job where you clock in and clock out. It’s not a “Christmas and Easter only” facility, yet that’s how many of us view it. What are we expecting when we walk through the doors? Are we expecting God’s presence to wash over us as we sing to Him? As we hear His words, are we expecting those words to change our heart and soul? Are we expecting those words to bring life? Or, do we simply attend expecting nothing at all and leave with the same emptiness we had before we came? Clock in. Clock out. Three days after Christ was crucified a heartbroken Mary went to His tomb. What was she expecting? She wasn’t expecting emptiness, yet that’s what she found. She found emptiness because she wasn’t searching for life. Mary could have left that day with a continued emptiness. With a heavy sorrow. What was different? Unlike so many of us, in her emptiness Mary realized how desperately she needed the Savior and it was in that moment that He revealed Himself to her by simply saying her name. Mary. And she knew. He was alive. His presence washed over her and her heart was changed. The tomb was empty but her heart was full. Life can get hard, but it doesn’t have to be. God is always prompting us to draw closer. We don’t have to remain cold. Just like a child searching for and expecting to find a basket full of joy, let me encourage you to expect the unexpected this Easter. What can make the difference? Search for life. The difference comes in the expecting. An empty tomb. A risen Savior.A life changed. A heart full. A basket full of joy because of all it holds inside. What are you expecting? Whatever you are looking for is what you will find~and everything you’re looking for can be found in Christ.
3/12/2019
Measuring UpMEASURING UP
I sat in my car. My son’s last soccer game, and here I sat, alone in the parking lot. Too weak to even walk across the field to the stands. I would never see my little boy play soccer again. Next year he would be away at college. Next year might not come for me. Why had I been so sick for so many months without answers? The doctors couldn’t figure out the cause of my illness. Test after test. Month after month I could not keep food down. I continually lost weight until my body started to fight against itself for survival. I could not walk from my bedroom to my bathroom. Our church members told my husband something needed to be done. He was going to lose me. So I sat in that car alone and watched my boy run, with tears streaming down my cheeks. I didn’t know that in a few short months my Doctor would discover I had Celiac disease. I thought this was my fault. I was letting my husband down, my children down and my church down. And I believed it was my fault because I believed God was punishing me. Not punishing me because He was mean. I believed it was out of love. Somehow I was convinced that the moment I had become a Christian, there were rules, everything I did had consequences~ and since I felt I never measured up, those consequences were always bad. Consequences for not being a better parent, a better wife, a better Christian. Consequences for not praying enough, for not caring for others more, for not thinking about God more or being more thankful. For not being good enough. The weight of that will bury you. I cried and told God I was sorry. I knew I deserved His anger. But I was so wrong. Because that is not my God, He is not an angry God, even when I can’t be good enough. He doesn’t expect me to be. He never expects me to be. And that is freeing. God sees all my imperfections, all my shortcomings and all my failures. I don’t have to be perfect, because His only Son is perfection, and when God looks down at me that is what He sees. And He loves me with a love that covers it all. I am covered in His robe of righteousness. Please don’t misunderstand my words here, the Bible is clear this doesn’t give us a license to willfully sin. Choosing to willfully sin when we know it’s wrong is never okay biblically, but neither is the misconception that God expects us to be perfect. I had many conversations with my patient husband about this. Time and again he showed me verse after verse. And then, one day... In all my brokenness, I gave God the shovel and allowed Him to miraculously empty the heaviness that was burying me. Through tears, I could see a glimmer of light. Little by little. One shovel full after another, until I heard Him tell me~ Charisse, my Son is your perfection. If you could be good enough, I would not have sent Him to die on the cross. My overwhelming love for you took care of all future punishment that day. And I finally believed Him. I might not ever have answers or know the reasons why we go through heartache and pain, but I know it isn’t because God wants to punish us and I can rest in knowing that He knows the “why”. A relationship with God is not all about rules. He does not seek to punish when we don’t measure up. He understands that we are human. He longs to take care of us and He loves us with a love that we could never, ever fully comprehend. If my words could help just one heart to understand this, one heart to be freed from this weight~every heart ache I have ever been through would be worth it~ because my God is love. Overwhelming love. That’s what I want you to grasp. That is the answer I want you to know. Won’t you hand Him your shovel today? Isaiah 53:5 Galatians 3:11,13, 22,24-25 I Peter 5:10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 Jeremiah 29:11-14 Isaiah 41:10, 61:10 Psalm 32:7, 73:23, 103:10 & 11 Romans 4:7, 12:10,12-16 John 3:17, 9:1-3 II Timothy 1:9
1/8/2019
Don’t Miss Out On The RooftopsDON’T MISS OUT ON THE ROOFTOPS
I stand at my bedroom window in the quiet. This room that my three daughters once shared. It didn’t used to be this way. Quiet. I look out into the darkness. The moon’s brilliance reflects softly off the snowy rooftops. My bedroom used to be downstairs. I never had this view. I didn’t realize what I was missing. My life was downstairs. Down in the trenches of the crazy life of a pastor’s wife with four children. Busy and happy. Crying and laughter. Moments turned into memories. Now~all quiet. I see the snow covered rooftops of our church....our hall....our beautiful town. I look toward my children’s rooftops. Sleeping soundly with their spouses. Their children. Their moments. Their memories. They will be busy. They will be happy. They will have crying and they will have laughter. And I weep for the blessings my Heavenly Father has bestowed upon me. The happiness He has allowed me to hold under this rooftop. Some years I was so focused on the mess that I missed the moments. So focused on the busyness that I missed the blessings. But now I see them all. I look at the rooftops. The beautiful clean snow falling softly in the darkness. I see God. Don’t miss the rooftops. They’re there~ in the craziness, in the busyness. They’re there in the crying and laughing. They’re all the sweet blessings God gives us each day~ that we often somehow miss. They’re all the beautiful moments that make up our memories. There~ under the rooftops. Soon the snow will melt. Winter will pass and before you can blink~the tiny laughter of little children, the busyness, the craziness~ It will all pass, and another rooftop will hold that magic inside. Cherish those moments while you can. You might not even realize what you are missing. Don’t get so caught up in the trenches that you miss the miracles you hold at your fingertips. But don’t get so caught up in the memories that you miss the moments you have right now. I hear my husbands soft breathing as he sleeps, and I smile. Old memories are deeply cherished but new ones are ahead. Don’t miss out on the rooftops. ALL GONE, JUST LIKE THE TURKEY ON A CHRISTMAS STORY.
Christmas came and went. So much happy preparation for one day, and just like that~ It’s over. Maybe for you it was the best Christmas ever, or maybe it wasn’t everything you had hoped for, and sadness lingers. Can I ask you to search your heart? What gift did you give? Not to those who sat around your tree, but to the One whose birthday we celebrate? I will never forget the Christmas all my children woke up with the flu. For months I had been preparing for this day. My whole family would be visiting. My mom always hosted, but this year it would be my first time having everyone on Christmas Day~ and it would be the best Christmas ever. After being up till 2am (like every other parent on Christmas Eve), I fell into bed ~while visions of sugarplums danced in my head~ I was SO excited for the kids to wake up on Christmas morning and open their gifts. Instead, a few short hours later we woke up to crying and fevers and throwing up. One after another. All four kids. Over and over and over. And I cried. This was my day. THE day I looked forward to all year. Why would God do this? He knew how much I loved Christmas. All the cooking and baking, decorating and shopping, wrapping and work, all the sleep deprivation and expectations of joy. All gone. Just like the turkey on “A Christmas Story”. What about me? I was like a child in that moment. Illusions that it was my birthday and not the Savior of all mankind’s. Pouting over the gifts of expectations I would not receive. Complaining that it wasn’t fair. But what did I give Jesus that day? I asked for a lot. Maybe not audibly, but inwardly. A lot. But I gave Him very little. There have been many Christmases since that time where similar situations have happened. I wish I could have a do over. Not to prevent the awful circumstances of the day, but instead to change the way I viewed those circumstances. To give of myself to my Savior whose birthday I was supposedly celebrating. I read a quote today that said~ “The celebrations were never meant to satisfy. The Savior does.” I made it all about me when the day should have been all about Him, despite the circumstances. Despite the circumstances, He came from immaculate glory to a sin cursed world. The Savior, whose hands formed the universe, were now tiny hands, tightly formed around his mother’s finger. Tiny glory, lying in a manger of hay. Born into the worst circumstances you could imagine. For you. Christmas is over. Another year is gone. But today is a new day. We owe everything to Him, yet we ask everything of Him. A new year beckons us. A whole year before next year’s birthday celebration. A whole year to give every single day. Our life is a start. The best start. Our love. Our praise. Our thankfulness. Our everything. Belated birthday wishes are always a blessing. It’s never too late. Sing Happy Birthday in your heart today. The heart that Jesus gave everything for. ❤️
12/26/2018
It’s True, God Chose You!IT’S TRUE, GOD CHOSE YOU!
As I watched The Nativity on my television that day~ I saw the angel come to Joseph. Come to Mary. Speaking to their hearts~ ”Don’t be afraid.” Words of assurance. This was God. He would be born of the Holy Spirit. Messiah and Savior of the world. A baby. I saw His birth. I saw the manger. I watched His earthly parent’s faces filled with joy and love for this Child Who meant the world to them. I saw the gift of Christmas. My heart pondered the ones God had chosen to raise the Savior of all mankind. The parents whose house Jesus would live and be raised in. They must’ve been so special for God almighty to choose them. Why? Why did God choose Joseph? Why did God choose Mary? God answered me that day. He whispered words to my heart that brought tears. I chose you too Charisse. I chose you for my Son to live and dwell. Every day He is there with you because He has been born in you. That day, so many years ago, someone showed me God’s words of incredible love. Someone read me the Christmas story and told me that baby, grown into a man, died on the cross for me. He took my sin on Himself so that I could be justified and forgiven. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart. I was no longer afraid of death. Christ was born in me and every day since that day He lives in me, and with me. There is nothing that can separate me from Him and His love for me. I am not special. I have done nothing, not one thing to deserve this. Yet God chose me, because I am His and He loves me. And He loves you. God’s gift of His Son is for you as well. The gift of being born again. The gift of everlasting life. The gift of Christmas. Just as the angel spoke to Mary and she in turn had incredible faith to believe that the Messiah would live in her~ God is speaking to you. Have faith and believe that He can live in you as well. He can live in your heart and life every single day and one day receive you into the home He has prepared for you in heaven. No fear of death any longer. You can be His manger. You can be His home here on earth. You can be the light of His star that leads others to Him. Not because you are special. Not because you are good enough. Not because you go to church. But only because of God’s love. Only because of Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross. Don’t be afraid. God’s words give us assurance. By faith believe and accept God’s beautiful gift today. The gift of a baby~ The gift of Jesus~ The gift of Christmas! Isaiah 43:10&11 John 15:16 Titus 3:5 Galatians 2:16
12/11/2018
An Unplanned PregnancyAN UNPLANNED PREGNANCY
Two of my four children were planned. Our first was a happy, yet unexpected surprise for me. Our third was a different story, but one with a very happy ending. We lived in Connecticut at the time and my OBGYN told us that everyone born before 1965 should get vaccinated for chicken pox and measles, especially if we were planning to get pregnant. The disease could be deadly for a baby in the womb. He advised I get the vaccine at least a month before conceiving, with strict orders that I NOT get pregnant. So I did. We were extremely meticulous in obeying the Doctors orders, but as careful as we were...accidents happen. I freaked out. Mike freaked out. We both freaked out. The Doctor said “DON’T get pregnant”... But I did. And I freaked. The doctors kind of freaked too. They advised abortion. They advised tests to see if the baby would be born with deformities and if these tests were positive, they advised termination. We declined. This was our miracle baby. Against all odds, God chose for him to be born. No matter what ~ he would be perfect in our eyes~ because God had chosen to breathe life into his tiny little soul as I carried him. Month after month we prayed. And as that precious baby was placed in my arms and tears of joy spilled down our cheeks, we praised God for a perfect, healthy baby boy. Our only son. What a beautiful gift from God. My life was changed that day. We are human. We our sinful. As careful as we may try to be in obeying all the “rules”, in obeying God’s commands~ we can never be perfect. We can never be good enough. We will always mess up. Sin will always be present. But there’s still a very happy ending. Romans 5:21 We are not an accident in God’s eyes. We are precious to Him. God loves us so much, He made a way. Only one way~ and that way is through His Son. And through His Son, we can become perfect in God’s eyes. Born again. Not because of anything we have done, but because of everything He did for us. John 3:3,16 Christmas changed history. Christmas changed our hearts. Christmas changed our destiny. Christmas changed our lives for eternity. Christ was born. He left the glory of heaven’s majesty. For me. For you~ To be born in you. John 1:14, 3:7 For you, so that God almighty could breathe life into your soul. So that you could carry Him in your heart. So that your life could forever be changed. Against all odds. Against all mess ups. Against all rules. Ephesians 2:8&9 Only Jesus~ living in you. Romans 8:10 Tears of joy spill down my cheeks as I think of the absolute majesty and wonder of Christ’s birth, that precious baby placed in a manger~for me. It brings me to my knees. There will be no other gift this Christmas that can compare to such a Gift as this. The Gift of forgiveness and eternal life from a Father and His Son, our Savior that gave His life for you. When I ponder the birth of my son and that little miracle placed in my arms~ my thoughts go to that manger in Bethlehem and the greatest, most important Miracle of all mankind. Fall on your knees with me this Christmas and praise God for His miraculous Gift. Matthew 2:10-11 The Gift that changed our destiny. A Gift that can change your life today ~and forever. Titus 1:2, John 3:15, I John 2:25, Romans 6:23, I John 5:11 & 13, John 10:28, John 17:3
11/27/2018
It’s In The BagIT’S IN THE BAG
I was dubbed “The bag lady” by my teasing father~in~law. It’s true. A fact about me that I’m sure many of you don’t know. I stitch linen replicas of antique bags, and I love it. Almost always, the customer will want the initials of a loved one stitched onto the bag. Someone who is precious to them. A treasure. I can’t help but think of that person. That life. This touches my heart as I stitch. These are more than just bags to me. More than just orders for customers. They are memories and love and joy. I think of these initials and the love they hold in each person’s heart. How dear that loved one is. Or was. And just as precious as our loved ones are to us, we are so much more precious to God. I think about His life, and it touches my heart. It’s more than just a story. So much more. He lived on this earth. Born in a manger. He knows what it feels like to be human. He understands. And in all His glory, because of His unfathomable love, He died on the cross for our sins. But it doesn’t end there. It ends in such sweetness that it brings tears. Despite my sin, and because of His love, God literally tells me in His word that~my sins are sealed up in a BAG! And He SEWS up ALL my iniquity. Job 14:17 My name is on that bag. Sealed up and forgiven for eternity. He knows me. He loves me. He cares about me. Not because of anything I have done, but because of everything He did for me. “Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.” Psalms 91:14 “Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.” Isaiah 43:1b “...for thou hast found grace in my sight, and I know thee by name.” Exodus 33:17b I deeply want my orders to be beautiful to those who request them. A treasure. Yes, I am a bag lady~ and my longing is that everyone would see the sin our hearts hold, but not only that~ to truly see your heart as God sees it, through the love of His Son, repenting and requesting God’s precious gift this holiday season. Your own name, written in God’s book of life. Revelation 20:12&15, 21:27. Your own bag, your sins sealed up, never to be remembered again. Job 14:17 A home in heaven. John 14:1-3 That’s the gift I wish for you to receive. The beautiful gift God has given us. John 3:16 A treasure that surpasses any you have ever known. All in a bag. “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that fail not. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Luke 12:32-34
11/20/2018
Now I’m That MomNOW I’M THAT MOM
Hey all you mamas out there~ What is it that you want from your children? Not FOR them, but FROM them. Does that sound selfish? Let go of the idea that it is, and look deep into your mama heart. What do you want more than anything FROM your kids? Love? Respect? Compassion?Thankfulness? Time? When they are tiny little ones, the answers are a lot easier. What we probably want most is rest. We don’t think a lot about the other things. Yet. The fact is, when they are tiny they automatically do all the other things. But then they get a little older. Love is still there, but that respect thing starts to lose its footing. A little older, and thankfulness and compassion turn into eyes rolling and heavy sighs. Still, a little bit older and we would give anything for time. Time with the ones who were our whole world for so long. How quickly things change. Our babies once snuggled on our laps, begging us to read to them, soaking up the sound of our voice with sweet, childlike adoration. And then, adulthood in all her glory turns that childlike adoration to annoyance and frustration if we call and want to talk. How quickly it changes from making every “boo boo” better with just a kiss. From caring for their sick little bodies through the night, to more annoyance if we share our concerns when they aren’t well. I can remember all of these scenarios in my own life with my mother, but they are only a memory now. My little self wanting to be with her and like her. Wanting to spend time with her. Wanting to be taken care of. Time changes things. I became a mom. Amidst the endless responsibilities young children bring, the phone rings and it annoys me. I know it is her. I’m so ashamed of the thoughts my mouth would not utter~ “She always picks the worst time to call. I don’t have TIME to talk to her right now!” But then one morning the phone rings again. Amidst the chaos of craziness that surrounds me, I hear nothing but my dad’s voice~almost as if he is speaking in slow motion... “Your mom is gone”~ My breath escapes me as my entire world rushes backward. I long to give more love, more respect, more compassion, more thankfulness, more time. So much more time. For a very long while, whenever the phone rang after that moment~ I thought for an instant that it was her. I wanted it to be her. So, I’m that mom now. The one on the other end of the phone. Calling, worrying, wondering if they’re ok. Wanting to help. Wanting to love. Wanting to spend time with them. Wanting all of those things. The same things my mom wanted from me. And as much as my human mama heart loves her children, it doesn’t touch the love my heavenly Father has for me. A love that desires all these things. Love. Respect. Compassion. Thankfulness. Time. Glory in the time you have with your little ones. Glory in the time you have with your mama. Glory in time spent with your Savior. Don’t allow time to change your child like adoration~ Allow it to deepen the love you have~ Not only for your mama~ but most especially for your Savior. |
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