3/22/2024
Holding Hope Again In 2024I will never forget the first time I was introduced to Jesus as more than just a cold, religious statue hanging on the big wall of our church.
I was 7. I was sitting at her table looking up at her. I thought she had the kindest eyes and made the best peanut butter sandwiches. She always gave us potato chips on the side. To this day I love sweet and salty together. She was talking about Jesus like she knew him personally. I didn’t really understand what she was telling me. To be honest, I don’t remember much about it at all. Until the end. I could hear my brothers playing with her kids outside and I wanted to go play with them. And then I heard my mom ringing our dinner bell, and I knew I better get home. And that’s when she said these words~ ”So Charisse, if you pray and ask Jesus to be your Savior, I will write that in this bible and you can take it home!” Man, I wanted that bible. It was red and shiny and new. It was amazing to my little eyes. We didn’t own a bible, except for the big storybook one my mom read to us at night. This was a real bible! A bible that would belong to me? I nodded my head and told her I would pray. A few days later that bible was mine. It sat on my nightstand like my most prized possession. I was so proud I owned something so important. Time went by. Days turned into years. We moved several times. We went through a lot of heartache. I have no doubt that my sweet neighbor prayed for little, 7 year old Charisse after she gave her that bible, and I have no doubt she continued to pray. My parents split up. Without warning my mom packed up our belongings, showed up at our school and we drove away. I never got to say goodbye to my friends. I was confused and hurting. Did my dad know where we were going? Why wasn’t he with us? A year passed. A year full of fighting and sadness. My mom moved us from our wonderful farm to the big city. Everything was scary to me. Back on our farm our beloved dog had been shot and killed, which added to the sadness. For the last ten years he had been our faithful, loving companion. There were a lot of ugly parts about my story that year. It seemed like my tears were constant. But then one day a glimmer of hope touched my heart. My parents made the decision that they would try again, this time with God. We found a church close by and started attending regularly. Week by week I could see a change in my mom and dad. Week by week I felt a change in my own heart. I was hearing things that were vaguely familiar to me. I was attending Sunshine Girl’s club at church one Monday night and it all came flooding back. Even though 5 years had passed, I remembered like it was yesterday. I remembered her kind eyes telling me about Jesus. I remembered the immense love she had for Him, as if He were a real person, and not just a statue. I remembered her telling me what the word sin meant and I remembered at the time not truly understanding. But here I was now. I finally understood. My teacher explained that God sent His Son Jesus to earth for me. That He was born in a manger only to die a horrible death on the cross. All for the sins of mankind. She told us that this was God’s gift to us. That if we understood that we were sinners and we were repentant of those sins, our great God would forgive us. All because of Jesus. He could be my Savior. This was too wonderful for me. I knew now why my sweet neighbor loved Him so much. She knew Him personally. He took away her sins and saved her from eternity in hell. He loved her immensely, more than she could ever love Him. And He loved me. I asked my teacher if I could talk to her after class and that day I knelt down in the back of that little church and asked Jesus if He would take away my sins and be my Savior too. I didn’t have a single doubt that He wouldn’t, and my life has forever been changed. I went home that night and dug that red bible out of the box in my closet. And I remembered. Hope filled my heart that day. I knew that no matter what my future held, Jesus would be right there with me. I would forever have that hope. Maybe it was the testimony of my kind neighbor and the love she had for her Jesus. Maybe it was her prayers for me and my family. Maybe it was her words that God burrowed deep into my heart until the day He knew I would truly receive them. Or maybe it was all of these things. Sometimes I lose sight of why I started this page. Satan knows how to discourage and get in my head. He tells me my words aren’t good enough. He tells me there are much better bloggers out there. He tells me I’m not worthy to pen words of hope to others because my own life is such a mess. But then I remember that little, 7 year old girl and the hope that was shared with her so long ago. The hope that kept her going and continues to be with her every single day. I might be a mess, but if we’re honest with ourselves~aren’t we all? And that’s where Satan will never have the victory~our hope is not dependent on us. It’s not dependent on our past or our future or how good we are or how messed up we are. Our hope is in Jesus alone and His finished work on the cross. I’m not here to share Charisse. I’m sharing Jesus. I’m right there with all of you in your struggles and heartaches, in your sadness and in your joys. I’m sharing that hope that only Jesus can give. I will continue to share and I will continue to pray for you all~ just like my neighbor did so many years ago. Because I want you to have that same hope burrowed deep inside your heart. A hope that will forever change your life. I can’t even tell you the number of bibles I’ve owned since I was 7, but I still have that red bible. It’s not shiny and new anymore but it is still my prized possession because no matter what I have gone through in the last 47 years, it has always been there~ Holding Hope.
2/23/2024
Hope and PraiseI know heartbreak. I know darkness. I know loneliness, sadness, depression, questions and sleepless nights. I share quotes about circumstances like these often, because I know they’re real. I’ve experienced each one. My countenance may have looked fine to the outside world, but during those moments the pain ran deep.
David is a perfect example of what each of us may go through at some point in our lives. In Psalms 5:11&12 we read of David shouting for joy, proclaiming God’s goodness. In the very next chapter (6:6-9) he tells us he is weary and groaning, filling his eyes with grief and his bed with tears. The Christian life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. It’s a battle. And it’s hard. And I’ve been in the middle of it. But the “hard” doesn’t stay. Praise God. It doesn’t stay my friend. And that’s why I started this page. Because of that hope. I know it exists, and I want to give God all the glory for it. In the past, when I have felt as if I couldn’t see an even a twinkle of light in the darkness that surrounded me, I did not give up on that hope. Because I remembered. I closed my eyes and whispered the name of Jesus. And the remembrance of all the times He has brought me through the heartaches and pain became incredible light flooding my darkness. I held on to that light. I held on to Jesus. So today’s post is going to be a little different. Today’s post I glorify God. I’m not going to dwell on the bad. There’s enough of that in the world today. I want to dwell on all the good. His goodness lasts forever. His mercies are new every morning. He is always faithful. His love is infinite. His comfort is constant. His peace truly passes understanding. Maybe you’re wondering when there will ever be a breakthrough, or when that peace and comfort will come. That’s why our testimonies are so important. People need your story. Satan wants to keep us in the dark. He wants us defeated. He wants us to lose our hope and give up. He wants us to forget about God and all His promises and answered prayers. He wants us to forget that God has saved our wretched soul from hell with the incredible, unfathomable gift of His Son Jesus. And when we’re in the middle of that pain, He wants us to feel alone. You are not alone dear friend. Jesus is standing in the middle with you. Let’s remind the hurting and broken world today what God has done for us. Let’s be like the disciple John who said “This is the disciple which testifieth of these things, and wrote these things: and we know that his testimony is true. And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen.” John 21:24-25 Let’s be lights in the darkness today. Let’s share God’s glory by sharing our testimonies. How God gave us hope. How He answered prayer. How He worked miracles. How He helped us overcome. How He placed scripture in our heart and people in our path. Psalm 107:2 tells us~ Let the redeemed of the Lord say so… Let’s “say so!” Let’s praise our amazing Savior together~ And give each other something to hold on to. HOPE SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 4:6&7 Lamentations 3:19-26 Isaiah 61:3, 25:1, 41:10&13, 43:2 Psalm 102:18, 71:14-21, 42:4&5 I Chronicles 23:30 Deuteronomy 10:21 I Peter 1:7 Psalms 5:11, 9:1&2, 27:1&3, 13&14, 28:7, 29:2, 26:7, 30:5, 10-12, 34:3&4, 35:18&28, 40:3, 45:17, 50:23, 52:9, 63:3&4, 6&7, 107:6-9, 13-15, 109:26&27, 30, 119:164, 150:6 Psalm 139 Psalm 145
2/16/2024
It’s Not Okay“I’m so sorry.”
“God is in control.” “Give it to Him.” “He has a plan.” “It’s going to be okay.” “God will give you the peace that passes understanding.”… But what if He doesn’t?? These are often the words of friends and loved ones when someone is going through trauma. They’re meant to comfort, but sometimes they don’t. What if your soul is completely wrecked? You’ve prayed. You’ve cried. You’ve begged, you’ve asked. But God remains silent. The pain does not dissipate. This week my husband and I were babysitting our four grandsons. The 2 year old tried to copy his older brother and ended up falling off of a bench. We knew immediately that something was very wrong. His parents were almost 2 hours from home, so we had to get permission to take him to the hospital. It broke my heart. His little body was hurting and he didn’t understand. Throughout the process of exams and X-rays and more exams and more X-rays, his big blue eyes looked lost. He was scared and crying. And over and over his grandpa and the doctors and the nurses sweetly repeated “it’s okay”. I even said it. But it wasn’t okay. Nothing he was going through felt okay. He only wanted to be held. He asked for his daddy, but even after His daddy came home and held him, he cried~because the pain did not go away. He had a broken collarbone and bruised ribs. I kept replaying it in my mind. How many times had we tried to reassure him that “it was okay”. Clearly it wasn’t okay. It was just our way of trying to soothe him. And how often do we as Christian’s do this with others when they are going through their own pain and heartache. When the tears won’t stop and they don’t understand why. We try to comfort with our words, but our words don’t give them the answers they’re seeking. It reminded me of the story of Job in the Bible, and all the heartache he went through. His friends had good intentions in the beginning, they truly desired to comfort him~they even cried with him. But in the end, they didn’t have the answers. Their words didn’t help because they weren’t the words that Job needed, they were the words of those lacking empathy. My grandson had to go through a lot of pain during his exams and X-rays. It was heart wrenching. The crazy thing is, there is no help for a broken collarbone. We do what we can to ease the pain. We are gentle with him, we console, we pray, but ultimately there is no answer. And so we try to give him the comfort he longs for. If you have a friend or loved one going through heartache of their own, you might not have an answer for them either. We can try to give hope. We can encourage with God’s word. We can say it’s going to be okay, but ultimately we can’t fix it or make it better. Only God can. Comfort comes in many forms. Everyone’s view of comfort is different. Ask God for wisdom and discernment when seeking to comfort, but more importantly ask Him to give you compassion and empathy for that particular person. Not what YOU would desire, but what THEY need. Sometimes it’s best just to love on them. Pray for them. Listen to them. Be there with them and cry with them. Don’t try to have all the answers. And if you are going though that pain yourself, be raw with God, just like Job was. There is nothing wrong with just pouring your heart out to Him. Letting the tears flow. Telling Him you don’t understand. Then crying some more. There’s such a lesson to be learned through the child like faith of a toddler. Isaiah doesn’t know how long he has to endure this pain. He doesn’t know why he is hurting, nor does he demand answers from his daddy. Day after day he crawls up onto his daddy’s lap, simply seeking comfort. He cries unashamedly. His daddy can’t take the pain away, but baby Isaiah trusts him fully to care for him as he heals, and ease the pain with his presence. And that’s exactly what we need to do in the middle of our own pain. Despite not having answers. Despite the heart ache, don’t give up hope… Day after day, climb up into your heavenly Daddy’s lap and trust him fully through the tears. Of this I am sure~ your healing will come. Romans 8:28 SCRIPTURE READING: James 5:11 1 Peter 1:6-9 1 Peter 5:7 Psalm 103:13-14 Psalm 91:4-5, 11-12, 14-15 Job 10:15 Job 16:2 , 4-5, 20-21 Job 1:22 Job 42:10 Job 13:15 1 Thessalonians 4:9 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
1/5/2024
How To LiveLast week, I told you about my friend. My friend whose husband had been diagnosed with an illness and given 3 years to live. My friend who had joy, and encouraged me despite her darkness. My friend who told me to live every day to the fullest~ one day at a time.
My friend who unexpectedly got her own diagnosis a month later. My friend who is now home with Jesus and whose husband is now a widower. My friend who taught me how to die. I have stood at the side of many death beds in the last 25 years. Too many. Each time there was a glimmer of hope that a miracle would come and each time, the miracle we were asking for did not come. When death lingered at the door, many were too weak to speak to me. Many were on medication to ease pain, and many just slept. Because there was always that measure of hope for recovery, I never truly had an opportunity to talk candidly with any of them about their imminent departure from this world. Until now. So many of my fellow Christian’s have shown me how to live. How to be lights for Christ in a dark world. How to overcome heartache and sorrow and live in the joy of the Lord, but no one really teaches you how to die because no one truly knows how they will react until they are put in that situation. It’s a morbid thought. No one wants to think about death at the beginning of a brand new year, but death is no respecter of time or person. And therein lies the importance of choosing to use our time wisely~living each day for the glory of God~ because none of us know when our appointment with death is. My friend certainly didn’t. Romans 8 tells us that our bodies are already dead because of sin. If we have accepted God’s gift of salvation, our spirits are alive because of Christ. Not just here on earth, but for eternity. What a season to grasp this lesson. A season of new beginnings, of hope, of life eternal. Because without the lowly birth in a manger there would be no death on a cross, and there would be no hope for us as we face death and eternity. My friend was on her death bed. She had bypassed treatment and although there was some pain, she was coherent. Her focus was on her Savior, on His promises and His goodness in her life. She didn’t speak of fear or uncertainty. She was smiling and laughing, albeit incredibly weak~ she was talking about the excitement of seeing Jesus. She was a light in the middle of so much darkness. And she probably never knew what an impact this had on me, until she was in glory. I asked her to give Jesus a hug for me when she saw Him. I will miss her so very much, and yet I have a peace about her home going. A comfort. Because of how she chose to live her days, she was not afraid when her days came to an end. I thought she taught me how to die. Until now. She didn’t just teach me how to die after all. She taught me how to live. What will you and I teach others in 2024? SCRIPTURE READING: Romans 8:10 Isaiah 46:4, 9-10 Isaiah 45:22 Romans 8:18, 22-28, 31-32, Romans 8:35, 37-39 Psalm 71:3, 5, 8-9, 14-21, 23-24 Psalm 73:23-26, 28 John 14:1-3 2 Corinthians 4:14-18 1 Corinthians 2:9 Philippians 3:20-21 Philippians 4:8 Colossians 3:16-17 1 Timothy 4:12 Matthew 5:16
12/22/2023
Need A Free Gift Idea?Countless gifts have been given and received within the last month. In just two days, people everywhere~in every walk of life~will be opening even more.
I could write the typical message about the greatest gift given, but I think you already know Who that is. Instead, I want to share some hope this Christmas. It’s been a tough month here. So much heartache within 30 days. A month that is supposed to be the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. I have longed to make everything better for everyone. Somehow, in my humanity I thought that if I could just find that one perfect gift to lift a hurting heart, things would be better for that person. Tonight I realized they wouldn’t. My presents would always come up short. Gifts might make the recipient smile and bring momentary happiness, but minutes later reality will hit again. We can’t give away true joy. But we can give away hope. It’s free. It costs us nothing but love. Not our human love, but the love of our Savior Who gave Himself for us. The love of the Christ Child born on Christmas. And that my friend, is the most important gift. No one’s life is hopeless, as long as they have Christ. So today and tomorrow and on Christmas Day, give the gift of hope. What is hope? I once read that the word “hope” never carries even the connotation of uncertainty in scripture. Every aspect of God's word gives us hope, hope that we can cling to. Hope that is our reality. Not the hope that comes from material things, or even people. The hope that is eternal. The hope of a Savior who always forgives. The gift of salvation and grace. The hope of mercies new every morning. The gift of love that never ceases. The hope that nothing can take that love away. The gift of peace that passes understanding. The hope of a Friend who sticks closer than a brother. The gift in knowing He will never leave or forsake us. The hope of heaven, our eternal home for those who believe. The gift our Savior gave us when He died for our sins. The hope that was born in a manger. Yes it’s been a tough month. Heartache upon heartache, but not heartache without hope. There is no greater gift. A hope to hold on to. A hope to share. Today I give you that gift, and I ask that you share it as well. Can you imagine if everyone could open that beautiful gift this Christmas? Let’s make that our resolution before the New year even hits. The gift of hope. The hope that was born in a manger. SCRIPTURE READING: Hebrews 11:1 I Corinthians 15:19-20 Psalm 42:11 Psalm 119:114 Colossians 1:27 Romans 5:1-2, 5 Romans 8:24-25 Romans 12:12 Romans 15:4, 13 Titus 3:4-7 1 John 1:9 Ephesians 1:7 Ephesians 2:8-9 Romans 6:23 1 John 4:9-10, 15-16 Lamentations 3:22-24 Romans 8:38-39 Philippians 4:7 Proverbs 18:24 Hebrews 13:5 Romans 5:5-8 John 3:16 John 10:28
12/8/2023
Glimpses Of GloryGuest post by my son Michael Goforth
Nostalgia — Have you ever felt it? That odd mixture of joy and sadness that floods your soul as you encounter something from yesteryear. An old song, a familiar smell, a worn out picture... The dictionary defines nostalgia as “a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past.” And there’s nothing quite like the Christmas season for bringing out these sentimental longings. We’re happy for that Christmas memory, but we’re simultaneously sad because it’s over. And as we try to sort through it all, we are left with these feelings that we’re not sure what to do with. What is going on here? And what are we to do with these longings? To answer these questions, we need to travel back to a place called Eden and consider how our story began. In Genesis 2:7-8 we read, “then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed.” If you continue reading, you’ll find that Eden was so much more than just a garden. It was a garden paradise, with everything you could want for joy and flourishing. And shortly after creating man, God made the woman. And he graciously gave them Eden as the place they could call home. A sanctuary for them to rest and rejoice in God and his gifts. Tragically, this is not how the story ends. Adam and Eve decided that all of this was still not enough, and they rebelled against God. This ushered sin, death, and brokenness into the world. And it resulted in their removal from Eden. Our first parents were officially exiles, banned from the garden sanctuary that they once called home. And ever since then, their descendants, with the rest of creation, have been longing for Eden (Rom 8:18-24). This is why all of us experience a homesickness of the soul. The world we live in is broken and sin-cursed. And the feelings of longing and nostalgia are echoes of a place we formerly called home. Now we wander through this life as exiles, often participating in the same rebellion of Adam and Eve, looking everywhere but God for fulfillment and satisfaction. So, how did God respond to all of this rebellion and brokenness? He responded with Christmas. He took on flesh and dwelt among us. The infinite God became an infant. Jesus, the Creator and Sustainer of all things, stepped into this sin-cursed world, to fix the brokenness that we caused. He lived the perfect life we never could and died the death that we should have died. He then rose again triumphantly to conquer sin, death, and hell forever. And he did all of it, “that he might bring us to God” (1 Pet. 3:18). The best part about Christmas is that it’s not over yet. Jesus has promised to come again. That he might rescue our homesick souls and bring us to the only real place that we can call home. A new heaven and a new earth with no more sin, no more sorrow, no more pain, no more brokenness, and no more death. A place of glory where all those who believe can live with God and enjoy Him forever. What if those feelings of nostalgia weren’t meant to make you long for the past? What if they were meant to make you long for the future? Personally, I believe this season, with its odd mixture of hope and longing, joy and sadness, beauty and brokenness—was all meant to be a glimpse of the glory that is to come. The glory that we know will come—because of Christmas. In the coming weeks, we’ll celebrate the sparkling lights, sing along to the beautiful music, marvel at the freshly fallen snow, embrace the warmth of gathering with our favorite people, and so much more. But if you are a Christian, these things are only a foretaste of your future. As C.S. Lewis explained, these things “are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited.” In other words, these things are only glimpses of the glory to come. One day, we will truly be home for the holidays, and oh what a glorious homecoming that will be.
11/24/2023
Hope For A Weary WorldToday I want to give you hope.
I know we live in a weary world. Holidays without our loved ones can be particularly sad. So can birthdays. Birthdays have always been very special to me, all because of my mom. When I was little~apart from Christmas~she made every birthday the best day of the year. Even as an adult, she knew how to make it special. My mom went home to heaven on November 3, 2003, one week before my birthday. My dad tried to continue my mom’s tradition. Back in 2020, I specifically remember sitting with him in church and talking about my upcoming birthday. It was only a month away, and he was already planning something. He had the sweetest twinkle in his eye as he talked about it. Two days later my dad went home to heaven too. 2003 was a hard year. 2020 was a hard year, but it wasn’t a “hard” without a hope. I have tried to make my own family’s birthdays just as wonderful as my parents made mine, and I love to wish everyone a Happy Birthday on their special day. Facebook is great that way. It reminds you who has a birthday, and gives you the opportunity to wish them a great one. Unfortunately you can also have many “friends” on Facebook that you don’t know much about. This was my case when I wished someone birthday greetings, and their daughter messaged me back to tell me they had passed away. My heart sank. As she read each birthday greeting written to her mom, I am sure the tears fell. Her mom would never receive them. Ever since then, I make it a point to check everyone’s status before any Happy Birthday wishes are sent, especially if I am not close friends with them. Yes, birthdays and holidays without our loved ones can be sad, but God reminds me of another birthday. The birthday of His Son. It is only because of this precious sacrifice by our Savior, His ultimate death on the cross and resurrection, that we all can have another birthday. Not the physical day that we were born, but the day we were born again. I am sure that many people who read my posts might label me one of those “christian fanatics”. Maybe I am, and I am ok with that. Because I fell in love with Jesus. And if you knew, if you truly knew His love for you and how He could change your life, you would fall in love with Him too. And so, as the Christmas season is fast approaching, I want to check your “status” and my question for you is this, have you been born again? Because if you have, there is no fear in death. There is no sadness without hope, because the day that Jesus was born was the day He gave hope to all mankind. He was born to die. Not to live a good life, or be a great leader or do amazing miracles. He was born to die. For me and for you. And when He died on that cross and proclaimed to all the world “It is finished!”, it rang throughout eternity. The debt was paid for our sins. A debt we could not pay ourselves. This Christmas, won’t you receive that gift from God? With a repentant heart, ask Him to be your Savior so that you can be born again. You can celebrate another birthday, a heavenly birthday. And if you have already received that gift, help someone else unwrap its wonder. Share this good news of great tidings with others! God so loved the world that He gave his only Son, and the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord! Do you know what’s wrapped up in that present? Peace, and joy, and love, and hope, and faith, and heaven, but more than all of that~ Jesus. Jesus is wrapped up in that gift for you. The very Son of God. And the sweet grace, and hope, and mercy of it all is this~ God promises that once we are born again, we are His child forever. Nothing can separate us from His love. When our physical birthdays have come to an end, we will immediately be in the presence of Jesus. My Jesus, who gave everything for me. Jesus, our thrill of hope for a weary world. SCRIPTURE READING John 3:3-7, 12, 15-17 Isaiah 26:3 Psalm 107:1-2, 8-9, 43 1 Thessalonians 4:13 1 Timothy 1:15 Romans 5:5-8, 11 Ephesians 2:8-9 Romans 6:23 Galatians 5:22 1 Corinthians 13:13 Philippians 4:7 Hebrews 4:16 John 10:28-30 Romans 8:31-32, 34-35, 37-39 Luke 23:43 1 Corinthians 15:55-57
11/17/2023
Time FliesHow can it be Thanksgiving already?
The nostalgia of the season has come upon me. I’m missing my loved ones. My grandparents, my parents, my best friend~ all gone on to heaven. I’m missing family gatherings full of aunts and uncles and cousins. I’m missing my children being tiny little beings full of giggles, and cuddles, and adoration. I’m missing the past. The music, the decorations, the food and the memories. When I was younger I was often told that time is fleeting. I didn’t really grasp the weight of those words, but as each year passes, that weight gets heavier and heavier. With the beautiful falling leaves painting the barren earth, this truth hits me even harder. I watch each colorful leaf dance in the wind…and then blow away, and I think about the years of my life doing the same. Like a vapor. The wind takes the years. I try to grasp at them and hold them tighter. I don’t want to let them go. I don’t want to see my grandsons turn into little men so quickly, or my granddaughters into young women. I am selfish. I want them to stay their tiny selves just a little bit longer. My children grew up too quickly. And now my grandchildren are doing the same. I remember last year, and the year before that… I had purposed in my heart to savor every minute. To slow down and enjoy the time with my children and their children. And I did. I stopped the busy. I stopped putting my housework, my schedule and my to do’s before family. I dropped everything at a moment’s notice to spend more time with the most important people in my life. I cherished every single minute. And yet, it did not make time slow down. Time was caught up in the wind. It danced and it was beautiful, and then it was gone. And so, I am that grandma talking about time fleeting to my children. Telling my daughters to cherish every minute. To look into the eyes of their children and soak it in. To burn that moment onto her heart, because that moment will never come again. It will dance and be beautiful, and then~ it will become a memory. I’ll be honest, as I pondered these thoughts this morning, I was saddened. My eyes filled with tears. I’m sure my mom passing away at only 63 plays a part in that. I am only 5 years from that very age. And so, as I often do, I cried to Jesus. I shared my heart. And as I opened His word I told Him how incredibly thankful I was for this beautiful life He has given me…”But oh Jesus, it’s going by too fast. It’s disappearing before my eyes!” And my heart didn’t feel as thankful. It felt heavy. It will be Thanksgiving and then Christmas and then a New Year, and time will dance away from me like the beautiful leaves outside. And just like He always does, Jesus gave me a word from His word. “For my days are consumed like smoke, And my bones are burned as an hearth. My days are like a shadow that declineth; And I am withered like grass. But thou, O LORD, shalt endure for ever; And thy remembrance unto all generations. This shall be written for the generation to come: And the people which shall be created shall praise the LORD. Of old hast thou laid the foundation of the earth: And the heavens are the work of thy hands. They shall perish, but thou shalt endure: Yea, all of them shall wax old like a garment; As a vesture shalt thou change them, and they shall be changed: But thou art the same, and thy years shall have no end. The children of thy servants shall continue, And their seed shall be established before thee.” Psalm 102:3, 11-12, 18, 25-28 “Like as a father pitieth his children, So the LORD pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; He remembereth that we are dust. As for man, his days are as grass: As a flower of the field, so he flourisheth. For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; And the place thereof shall know it no more. But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, And his righteousness unto children's children; To such as keep his covenant, And to those that remember his commandments to do them. The LORD hath prepared his throne in the heavens; And his kingdom ruleth over all. Bless the LORD, ye his angels, that excel in strength, That do his commandments, hearkening unto the voice of his word. Bless ye the LORD, all ye his hosts; Ye ministers of his, that do his pleasure. Bless the LORD, all his works in all places of his dominion: Bless the LORD, O my soul.” Psalm 103:13-22 The words leapt off the page. In that moment, the knowledge of God’s love for me transcended any words I might have had to try to convey the feelings of my heart. God knew exactly what I needed before I ever opened my Bible. And He told me~ My Jesus is eternal. He does not leave. He remains beautiful. Always present. Always with me. Life may change daily, fleeting and only leaving me memories, but my Jesus will never become just a memory, because my Jesus never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. My constant. My joy. My truth. My life. And as I strive to glorify Him in all I do, as I strive to live that life in front of my children and grandchildren, teaching them to make Him their everything~ He promises me that my children and my children’s children will be established and His mercy and righteousness will be upon them. And my heart is overwhelmed with thanksgiving. It feels as if it could burst for the joy He has given me. The weight of the words that felt so heavy just a few moments before, now gave me promise. Yes, time is fleeting but Christ is my firm foundation. My cornerstone. A foundation that will never be moved. He is my forever. The joy He brings will never, ever, ever leave. It will dance and be beautiful. And it will remain. For me, for my children, and for my children’s children. Thank you Jesus. Happy Thanksgiving dear friends! SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 126:2-3, 5-6 Hebrews 13:8 1 Corinthians 3:11 Hebrews 11:10 2 Timothy 2:19 1 Peter 2:6 Ephesians 2:18, 20 1 Corinthians 2:9
11/10/2023
My Great GodSometimes the hope we need for miracles in our own lives, come from the miracles and praises of others.
This is the season we will see countless posts and quotes about thankfulness. Why to be grateful and how to be thankful. They are all great reminders, but today I am not going to talk about any of them. Today I’m going to share some hope. Today I’m going to talk about my Jesus, and tell you how great our God is. Ever since my dad passed away in 2020, my heart has struggled with holding on and letting go. Letting go of his belongings (right down to a little magnifying glass he used to read his prescriptions), letting go of his home, and holding on to memories. Every time I thought about selling his home, I cried. I couldn’t. It was a heavy, internal struggle to say the least. So I prayed. And I prayed, and I prayed and I prayed, and I never felt a peace, and I never got an answer. My son and daughter in law were living there during this time. It made my heart happy that family lived within the walls that held so many memories for me, so I continually pushed the idea of selling all the way to the back of my mind… until the day they told us they were moving. I’ll be honest. I cried. And then I prayed some more. God had opened a door for my son that was literally a miracle. A dream house for them to be able to purchase. Something they had been praying about for a very long time themselves. And yet, in that moment I struggled. While they were getting their dream, I wanted to hold on to mine. Keeping a physical part of my dad for as long as possible. God continued to nudge my heart though, so I continued to pray. I remember telling one of my children that I wished God would just audibly tell me what to do. Don’t you feel that way sometimes? I was scared. I didn’t want to let go. I pondered all these things. I didn’t even talk to my husband about it. It was a Saturday in August when it was particularly heavy on my heart. An answer needed to come. The home would soon be empty and the mortgage was high. I begged God that day to show me. I asked him for specifics. An exact request. The entire day went by without an answer and late that night, when I thought no answer had come, God surprised me. He literally answered the exact request I had prayed for. I cried again. I don’t believe God speaks audibly to us, but in that moment it was as close to audible as you can get. He used His word. He used prayer. He used other believers. His Holy Spirit worked miracles through it all. This might seem trivial to you, but it was heart wrenching to me. Until God answered. And suddenly, the peace He gave me passed all understanding. A peace that could only come from Him. God was telling me to sell. Let me tell you what happened within the next 24 hours. We had 2 people interested in buying. And then, early Sunday morning I remembered that a friend of mine had asked me a year ago if I would be willing to sell. At the time I told her no. As a quick gesture, I let her know that I was now willing. Three interested people before we ever listed! And just like that, 24 hours later, my dad’s home sold for our asking price. Not only did it sell, it sold to my sweet friend. She was just as happy as I was, and told me that she had been praying about it! I couldn’t imagine anyone else living there and loving it like my dad did. God put her name on my heart that Sunday morning. Not only that, but my son and daughter told us they were expecting. After 5 heartbreaking years of trying, and praying and begging God, their miracle baby was here. They had a dream home and a baby coming. And I wept and I wept and I wept. God’s perfect timing was an understatement. And today I want to praise him. Today I want to thank him. Today I want to give you hope~don’t stop praying and seeking and asking and begging… And praising and thanking. He truly is our God of miracles. He is my Father who understands my frail humanity and has compassion on my hurting heart. Who sympathizes with my inconsequential struggling and fear, in the midst of a world filled with far worse. And despite the innumerable prayers lifted up to Him from all over this world, He cares about me. He continually reaches down and pulls me close, whispering to my heart that He understands. That’s my God. As hard as it is when you’re going through the process, don’t give up on Him. He knows exactly when to answer those prayers. Nothing is too big. Nothing is too small. And when the answer comes, and it will come, thank Him. Praise Him. And then, share that hope with the world. SCRIPTURE READING: Isaiah 12:2 Psalm 86:1-10, 12-13, 15 Psalm 88:1-3, 9, 13 Psalm 89:1-2, 5-8, 15-17 Ephesians 1:3-7, 12, 18-19
11/3/2023
The Truth I’m Standing OnI love history.
Please don’t stop reading just because you think you don’t relate. I guarantee this applies to you. You love history too, you just don’t realize it. Just a few weeks ago my husband took me on a dream vacation. It wasn’t Hawaii, or the Bahamas. It was Plymouth, Massachusetts, and I loved every single second of it. To walk inside a reproduction of the very ship~the Mayflower~ that the pilgrims sailed over on, and to realize the hardships they endured was overwhelming. To stand in the very place our pilgrims landed was incredibly moving. To visit a recreation of the plantation those same pilgrims started, nearly half of whom died, was emotional and humbling. But I was also saddened during our time there. We became aware that it seemed history was being rewritten in some areas we visited, and it really bothered me. It bothered me because I know… I know we have written accounts, original manuscripts from the very pilgrims that landed here, and people are actively trying to change these accounts. The authors of the original manuscripts had no agenda. Their writings were personal journals for their own behalf, yet correlated completely with each other. One day the next generation may view the beautiful history of our great country through a completely different lens. I want to be able to teach them the truth and to preserve that history. As I was saddened to ponder all of this, I thought about God and His word and my heart was filled with thankfulness. Despite what the world might throw at us, despite what they say is truth, even though that truth seems to change on a daily basis, my God never changes. His word never changes. The same yesterday, today and forever. What joy and peace and comfort that brings to my soul. And yes, that’s why you love history as much as I do, because God’s truths are our history. It’s in those truths that we receive the message of salvation and hope, of peace that passes understanding, of the terror of Hell, but the glory of Heaven. Of our God who has mercy and compassion and grace, and loves us no matter what. So much so that He gave His Son for us. All of that history that was written years ago is the hope we all cling to today. Can you imagine life without it? Its promises give us comfort on our darkest days. We love every word, and it’s still the truth today. It’s still alive today. It will never change. I will continue to teach my grandchildren the beautiful, sacrificial journey the pilgrims made and the blessing it is to live in this country, and worship God freely because of it. And I will continue to teach the next generation the beautiful, sacrificial journey our Savior made from His home in glory, so that we could have a home in heaven with Him one day. I will cling to its truths, despite what the world claims is truth. I will hold it in my heart and lean on its promises. As I stood at Plymouth Rock and my emotions swelled deep inside me, I couldn’t help but think of another rock. The solid rock. The truth I’m standing on. The rock that will never change, despite the storms that may surround us. It’s our cornerstone and foundation, and it’s the very rock that our pilgrims depended on as they set sail for this beautiful country we now have the privilege to call home. Thank God for that history that is ours. Thank God the pilgrims chose to build their house upon THE ROCK. SCRIPTURE READING: Malachi 3:6 Hebrews 13:8 2 Peter 1:19-21 Hebrews 4:12 2 Samuel 22:32 1 Samuel 2:2 Psalm 18:31 Psalm 62:2, 6&7 Psalm 31:3 Psalm 18:1-2 Matthew 7:24 Deuteronomy 32:4 Psalm 77:11-12 Psalm 78:2-4, 6-7
10/7/2023
Peace Be StillI barely came up for air when another wave crashed down upon me.
There had been a respite. I felt His peace, and relief swept over me. Trials seemed to be eased, and prayers answered. Until this week. It wasn’t a horrible diagnosis, a job loss or a death. It was a small attack of satan in the middle of the night as I slept peacefully, completely unaware. For the second time in a week, my Facebook account was hacked. Not only was it hacked, but the person posing as me posted evil pictures on my page, and in a chat. I woke up to a notification on my phone. Facebook told me I had violated their policies and I was locked out. I was sick inside. I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t even defend myself. I couldn’t tell any of you, or ask for prayer. I felt so confused inside. Was this Satan attacking me, or God trying to teach me something? I prayed all day. I also tried to refute the issue, and somehow defend myself in order to get control back of my page. But at the end of the day, my weary heart realized it wasn’t in my control at all. It actually never was. And honestly, Meta may think they have control, but God has the final say. So I had to ask myself~ do I have enough faith to trust Him through this? What if Holding Hope disappeared? What if 12,000 followers became 1 and I had to start all over? What if I couldn’t use this platform to reach others again? What if God was saying “no” to me, would that be ok? What if the “busy” things I was complaining about in my heart last week were my reality this week? I am not questioning God. I am asking Him for discernment and wisdom to know why this is happening. I am checking my own heart for sin. I am asking God to overcome the wicked one, and the darkness that seemed to have won. It’s incredibly hard for me to be able to read the comments on my posts, comments asking for prayer or saying things are hard right now~and I am unable to respond. I am unable to encourage. But, encouragement won’t end with me. If my page were to end today, God is faithful. He will send others to those in need of encouragement. I am reminded of my words from last week again. I am not God. God will be God, with or without me, and He will get the glory. Satan may have attacked, but God has taught me so much in just a few short days. He is my light in the darkness. His light will continue to shine and He will prevail. And if I am able, that is the message I want to leave with you. Whatever you are facing today, continue to pray through it. That is literally all I can do right now. Continue to check your own heart. Continue to ask God for wisdom and discernment. Continue to fight that darkness with Jesus’ light. Even if you were falsely accused. Even if you can’t defend yourself. Even if you feel all is lost. Even when it looks like Satan has won and the winds and waves are just too much to bear, remember~ our God walks on water and our God walks on the wings of the wind. Our God is light in that darkness. Our God always makes a way. This morning I came back up for air and the winds and the waves did not overcome. I could hear His very words~Peace be still. And so I wait. As I write this I am still locked out, but I’m not alone. God is in complete control. None of this came as a surprise to Him. You are not alone either. You are never alone. God is with you. His light will shine through your darkness. He will calm the storms around you and He will prevail when all seems lost. Even in the unknown~The battle has already been won my friends, and Jesus is our Victor!! SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 139:11-12 Psalm 34:4, 6, 8, 15, 17, 19, 22 1 Corinthians 10:13 Psalm 35:1-2, 7, 9-12, 15-23, 25, 27-28 Psalm 36:5, 7, 9-11 Psalm 37:1, 3-7, 23-26, 32-33, 35-36, 39-40 Psalm 104:3 Mark 4:39-40 Matthew 14:25, 27, 30-33 1 Corinthians 15:57 Romans 8:37 2 Corinthians 2:14 Deuteronomy 20:4 Romans 8:31 John 16:33 Isaiah 55:11 Why does life feel like a chore to me?
That was my first thought the other morning. I was tired before I even got out of bed. Not wanting to escape the warmth, I laid there thinking back to a time when I used to wake up excited about the day ahead. What happened to that girl? I thought I had it all figured out. I told myself there was just too much on my plate. Too much busyness. Too much weariness. My mind felt like there were a thousand things going on all at once, and I couldn’t make it stop. I wanted it to stop. It was exhausting me. How do I find myself here again? I don’t know how many blog posts I’ve written on this subject, and yet I fall prey to its defeat again and again. Google tells me we have anywhere from 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day. We have 6-7 thoughts per minute. 95% of our thoughts are repetitive, and 80% are negative. Why is that? What feeds that negativity? The world tells me busy is better. It chides me to do it all. I work part time from home. I also have a stitching business. I over stress trying to be a good wife, mom and pastor’s wife. I hold Bible studies and ladies meetings. I schedule and teach and study and pray. I write a blog and run a Facebook page. I create more content, to gain more followers, to encourage more ladies, to have more hope. But somehow along the way, I continually seem to lose my own hope under a pile of busy. And that’s when the devil tells me that I am failing. He convinces me that I don’t want to be a pastor’s wife with ministry responsibilities, I just want to be a plain old wife. I don’t want to create posts or write a devotional every single week. I just want to scroll and be fed by someone else. I just want to be me. I just want to not have to think. And I will be honest ladies, that morning I told God ALL of that. I tried telling Him that I am a homebody, an empathetic introvert who wears other’s heartaches on her sleeve. “Don’t you know this is all too much for me?” I asked. As if He doesn’t know me. And that’s when the Holy Spirit revealed to me that my thoughts had gained control over my heart. My busy schedule and commitments overwhelm my soul. What “new” message of hope I can give to my followers constantly captures my thoughts. The heartache of others is continually on my mind. I find myself thinking about ALL of these things more than I think about GOD Himself. In fact, I’m sure it would be safe to say that 80% of my thoughts are “busy” thoughts, maybe more. That means only 20% of my thoughts are being still with God and thinking about Him. And therein lies the problem. Life has become a chore because I’m not dwelling in His presence and it’s only in His presence that there is fullness of joy. I am trying to be God, instead of resting in Him, surrendering all my thoughts, and days, and moments to Him. I was “taking the yoke”, but I forgot about the “learning” part. That morning Jesus told me~”Take my yoke upon you and LEARN of ME. If you do this Charisse, you will find rest for your soul.” When will I learn? Probably never, this side of heaven. But I sure am thankful for a God who doesn’t give up on me. His mercies are new every morning. The busy won’t ever stop. Life is filled with it. It will continue to pile up, but instead of being under that weight~ we can be on top of it, if we will just learn from God. What have I learned? Here are just a few takeaways~ *To wake up and rejoice before I get out of bed, thanking God immediately for the day ahead, and all He has blessed me with. *Pray about everything, all day long. If a thought comes into my head and I start trying to figure out my own solution, I’ve got to stop. I have to pray about it, because let’s be honest~ God’s solutions are so much better. When I do this continually it helps me to cease from “Charisse’s” works and focus on God. That’s when I find rest. *I meditate on God’s words throughout the day. When I think on God’s words, it pushes the busy right out of my brain. My thoughts are on God, and His peace tells me that He is in control and will take care of whatever has me stressed, anxious, heartbroken or fatigued. His words comfort me and He calms that storm inside my head. *Learn from Jesus. He continually got alone with God. The insurmountable love and burden for a sinful, fallen world was completely on His shoulders and yet, He took the time to rest and be still with His Father. Imagine if our repetitive thoughts~ the ones that take up 95% of our waking moments~ were transformed to think about God and His promises to us? He wants us to rest, but that doesn’t mean He wants us to stop. That voice that’s telling you to quit is from Satan. God’s voice tells us~ Be still. He is God. We are not. Life isn’t a chore. It’s a blessed, joy-filled opportunity to be about our Father’s business. Google might tell me otherwise. The world tells me “I” have to do it all. The devil tells me that “I” am not cut out for the ministry and convinces me that~”I just want to be me, plain old Charisse”~ but GOD… Who am I with God? I am crucified with Christ, YET NOT I, but Christ… In the multitude of my thoughts within me, His comfort delights my soul. SCRIPTURE READING: Philippians 4:4-9 Matthew 11:28-30 Jeremiah 6:16 Psalm 46:10 Hebrews 4:9-12 Psalm 16:7-9, 11 Lamentations 3:22-24 Galatians 6:9 Romans 12:1-2 Galatians 2:20 Psalm 94:19
9/22/2023
Sorrow And JoyA bit of sadness awaits me, just around the corner. It’s hovering there in the autumn winds, like a storm rolling in. I don’t think about it, I just feel it in my bones.
Autumn is one of my favorite times of the year. As a child, the fall months seemed to make me thrive. They brought me joy. There was such a freedom, running around in the crisp air as vibrant leaves showered the earth with color. I absolutely loved everything about fall. I still do, but 50+ years later, heartache upon heartache has changed the way fall feels for me. I can’t escape it. I can’t pretend it didn’t happen. I don’t even think about it, I just feel it. On two separate occasions, it was during the autumn months that heartbreaking betrayal left me in darkness. Darkness that lasted a long time. It was also a crisp November morning, one week before my birthday, that my mom passed away suddenly. It was in early October, just three years ago, that my dear friend went home to heaven. The very day after his funeral, my precious dad passed away unexpectedly as well. And this year, my sweet friend found out she doesn’t have long to live. As the cozy fall vibes splash across social media and I’m reaching for my blanket on chilly nights, all of these moments whisper on the winds. My mind goes there without me even thinking about it. I miss my loved ones. I miss the years that were taken as I tried to dig myself out of a dark pit. I miss a future with my friend. A few months after my dad passed away, I remember laughing for the first time. Truly laughing. And immediately after the laughter, sadness engulfed me. Because I remembered. I ask myself, can I have joy and sadness at the same time? Will I ever be free in the fall months to thrive like I did when I was a child? Will this heaviness that the sadness brings ever feel lighter? I am absolutely sure of one thing, the answer is yes. God wants me to have joy. Satan wants to rob me of that joy. I long to be oblivious like the rest of the social media world seems to be. I want to turn on football games, get out those cute fall boots and put on a cozy sweater. I want to drink pumpkin spice “everything”, and smile as I gaze upon the beautiful colors of God’s masterpiece falling from limbs in the sky. Like nothing bad ever happened. With God’s help, I still can. You can too ladies. When heartache grips us, often our humanity does too. We remember. We want things to be like they were when our hearts were free, before the sadness came. We want to hold on to the comfort that once was. Because of this, we are incapable of moving on past the heartache without the help of the Holy Spirit. But when we ask the Holy Spirit to fill us and to empower us, we can readily apply God’s word to our broken hearts. His words that tell us to forget those things which are behind. That the devil comes to steal and destroy, but that the joy of the Lord is our strength. To lay aside every weight that we carry on our shoulders and look ahead at Jesus. And that is exactly what I am doing. I know God understands our humanity. Paul reminded us with the words~”as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing”. Jesus Himself wept, even though He knew the joy that was coming. There will always be sorrow on this earth, because sin brings sorrow. We are born into that darkness, but God is our light. I know that He knows when our hearts are hurting and I believe that yes, we can have joy and sorrow at the same time. We can because as a believer, our sorrow isn’t without hope. We can because our joy isn’t found in the temporary, it’s found in the eternal and even though our weeping may last for a moment, our eternal joy will last a lifetime. Just like the wind takes hold of all the beautiful leaves and showers the earth with color, the wind seems to have taken the beauty of my “befores” that I once held so close. But my God walks on the wings of the wind!! And I know that if He had never taken some of that beauty from my life, He couldn’t use me to shower the earth with its vibrant colors. Colors of encouragement for others. Colors that hold Hope. I’m not going to lie and say I have been miraculously changed, and the sadness is gone. My humanity wants my life to stay beautiful. Not to change. Not to lose its vibrant colors and the comfort of my “befores”. I read a great quote this week that said~”Looking back doesn't enable us to go back, and more times than not, it just makes us stuck”*. It’s a daily (sometimes hourly) battle to hand that heaviness over to Jesus. But when I truly do this, when I pray and ask Him to take it~because I can’t seem to let it go, I find freedom. And in that freedom, I find joy. So today, join me as the tears fall, but our hearts smile. Take my hand~ Let’s walk with our great God on the wings of the wind. Scripture Reading: “Who walketh upon the wings of the wind:” Psalm 104:3 Psalm 30:5 John 14:27 John 15:9, 11 John 16:22, 24 1 John 1:4-5 Psalm 19:8 Psalm 94:17, 19 2 Corinthians 6:10 Romans 14:17 Philippians 3:13-14 John 10:10 Hebrews 12:1-2 Hebrews 4:15-16 Psalm 144:15 Psalm 16:11 1 Peter 1:8 Jude 1:24 Romans 15:13, 32 Ephesians 3:16-21 *Christine Caine
9/8/2023
Pain Has A Purpose“Pain has a purpose.”
When I am in the middle of heartache, I don’t want to hear that. There have been seasons in my life where I could not see any purpose in the pain I was going through, because I allowed Satan to tell me otherwise. Times I thought that perhaps God was punishing me, or felt as if God was nowhere to be found. Thoughts based on feelings, and not God’s truth. As a pastor’s wife and child of God I always felt it was my “job” to encourage. My life should be a picture of joy and happiness, a light shining for the world to see. And so, for a very long time I kept my pain neatly tucked away, deep down where no one could see it except Jesus. But then God told me to start this Facebook page. Suddenly I am sharing my life with the world. An open book. And I am vulnerable. But I do it. And the more I share, the more I see the purpose. God never asked me to hide my pain. I believe He wants me to share it so that others going through similar heartache can know, they are not alone. I can honestly cheer you on and tell you~“You can do this!!” Because with God’s help, I have. It has caused me to pray and trust God more than ever before. When I am in the middle of a really hard season, this page has made me realize that my journey hasn’t just been about heartache. My life has had so much beauty, beauty that far outweighs the pain. Beauty that tips the scales. Satan doesn’t want me to realize that. He doesn’t want you to realize it either. Within the last two weeks, three major prayer requests of mine have been answered. I had been praying for one for over 6 years. I had been praying for one for over 6 months and I had been praying for one for over 6 weeks. The days and weeks leading up to these answers were absolutely brutal, but God answered in phenomenal ways. Like literally~ ”Fall to my knees, miracle working” ways. I felt like a child at Christmas. Tears were shed. Praises were said. I could not stop thinking about how awesome God is. Until yesterday. Only seven short days later. I don’t know if it was fatigue. I don’t know if it was hormones. I don’t know if it was just the fact that all those buried emotions came to the surface~ but I could not stop crying. I tried to read my bible. I tried to pray, but the tears continued to flow. Not good tears. Not happy tears. Sad, mixed up, ‘filled with lies’ tears. And I realized right then and there that this life is a continual battle. That our armor has to always be on, because Satan will always attack, especially when we are feeling weak. He knows just how to get to me. My weakness is my thought life. He plants the thought, and I am so naive that I just continue to water it. It gets bigger and bigger until I am convinced it is true and I can’t get past it. I think that I can’t pray because my heart isn’t right, and I find myself stuck in a mess of my own making. In a moment of weakness I have forgotten all of God’s goodness and believed all of satan’s lies. And I’ll be honest, after months of “hard”, I am tired. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to be in this battle. My brain is frazzled and I don’t want to think about anything. I don’t want to pray in these moments. I don’t want to get into God’s word. I want to sit on my couch, binge watch a show and eat ice cream. Heres the truth ladies~ WE HAVE TO FIGHT! Here’s another truth~ God wants us to have joy, satan doesn’t. Here’s another truth~ God’s words are power. Prayer is our life line. God has answered countless requests, He has come through for us time and time again. He has given us beauty from ashes. He has never left us. He has loved us more than life itself. The VERY life of His Son. That is true love… A week ago we took our 6 grandchildren up north for a little getaway. The days were filled with fun and laughter, lots of hugs, kisses and snuggles, but when bedtime came, so did the tears. Two separate nights, two of my grandchildren could not sleep because they were scared. They were scared because they were laying in bed allowing their thoughts to run rampant. I didn’t get mad. I held them close and allowed the tears to come, and then I asked them if the things that were making them scared were true. They knew they weren’t. I asked them if God wanted them to be sad. They knew He didn’t. I told them only the devil wants you to be scared and sad, not God. He wants us happy. And I told them to tell that devil to get lost, because God was with them. I encouraged them with something I used to tell my own children~to lay in bed and think about God’s goodness and all the wonderful, happy moments He has given us. Like Christmas morning. Like Jesus. It seemed too easy, but they were smiling and ended up falling right to sleep. Because that’s what child like faith looks like. And I wan’t to always have that kind of faith. I might not ever know the purpose behind some of the pain I have walked through, but I do know this. I never walked alone. It may have been an extremely lonely journey at times, but God never left my side. He didn’t get mad when I was scared and crying. Instead, He reminded me of His truths. Powerful truths to fight the lies. And when my focus turned to His truth, my heart could dwell on His goodness to me, and help me to remember all the beautiful ‘Christmas morning’ moments of my life. I want to encourage you today to keep fighting. To keep speaking God’s truths over satan’s lies. To remember how much God loves you and how He wants your life to be filled with joy. Don’t believe the lies ladies. Don’t fall into the same trap I did. Stop trying to figure out the purpose and just dwell in His presence. Once you do, you will see the path He has for you and realize that’s exactly where your fullness of joy is found. I desperately want you to know that there is beauty on the other side, and maybe one day the story of your pain will bring hope to others. You will cheer them on with the words~ ”You can do it!!” Because through God’s power~ You will know that you already have!! Psalm 16:11, 27:11-14, 34:19 Romans 8:18,24-39, 15:13 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, 4:16-18, 12:10 Philippians 1:6 Isaiah 61:1-3 1 Peter 4:13 James 1:12 2 Timothy 4:5 John 16:33 I can remember getting my first biopsy. Watching the needle go in on the screen. Holding my breath. So many emotions wrapped up in such a small amount of time.
As I look back over my life, countless moments were held captive by two words. ”What if”. My todays were taken away by worry over my tomorrows. Always wondering what would be on the other side of this mountain of “what ifs”. Somehow believing every worst case scenario and sometimes living through them. Maybe hope was lost. And in that believing~denying Christ power by giving up and giving in. Not only allowing the devil to believe he had won, but believing that lie myself. Recently I have pondered Christ sacrifice on the cross for me. I have thought about that dreadful day when all hope truly seemed lost. I have wondered about all the emotions his disciples were feeling~ so many emotions wrapped up in this moment. This wasn’t supposed to be the end. How could this be? Can you imagine their discouragement? All the incredibly powerful miracles they had witnessed and yet, it appeared death had won. Satan had won. Pretty sure that’s exactly what the devil believed too. But Jesus’ followers did not know what was coming. Neither did the devil. When it comes to scripture, at times I think we tend to take the outcome of mountain moving stories for granted. The faith isn’t spectacular to us because we know how the story ends. But when faced against our own mountains, the “what ifs” overwhelm us and we convince ourselves that we won’t be able to get over them to the other side. Let me remind you today of your beautiful reality~Satan doesn’t know what’s on the other side of your mountain anymore than you do because unlike God, Satan is not omniscient. He is not all knowing. He doesn’t hold your future, God does. There is so much power in that statement. Take heart in the fact that the very men who LITERALLY walked with God on this earth~those handpicked and chosen by Christ~ went through discouragement as they faced a mountain they thought was unclimbable. Even more comforting is the fact that Jesus~being all God yet all human~asked His Father if there was any way possible to avoid the overwhelming sorrow that was upon Him. He knew the deep love He had for His followers, and the heartbreaking emotions and confusion they would be faced with. He knew the mocking, the beating and the physical agony that was coming. He knew that He would be taking the sins of all mankind upon Himself. Jesus knew what was on the other side of that mountain He was facing, yet in that moment, He poured out His heart to God. Jesus understands completely what you are going through. We might say we trust God. We might even believe we have mountain moving faith, but that doesn’t mean the trials we go through will be easy. Trials that can overwhelm us. “What ifs” that can loom heavy over our souls. Don’t focus on this idea that the devil knows the end of your story and that he has already won. Instead, focus on the fact that only God knows what’s on the other side. On that side of the mountain is the irrefutable reality that the same Jesus Christ who defeated death and once again walked with His awestruck, astonished disciples upon this earth, is the same Jesus who is alive today~ daily making intercession on our behalf. He is the victor of every “what if” mountain we face. And that side of the mountain? It’s always good. Always. Because God told us so in His word. There is no “what if” scenario that God doesn’t have an answer for. There is no “what if” scenario that God will not provide comfort for. There is no “what if” scenario that God doesn’t give peace to face and weapons to fight. There is no mountain you will ever climb alone. SCRIPTURE READING: Matthew 17:20, 26:37-39, 28 Isaiah 51:12, 52:7, 54:10, 55:12 Mark 11:23, 14:33-36, 16 Psalm 90:2 Luke 22:41-44, 24 Romans 8:34 I John 2:1 Hebrews 7:25 Revelation 1:5,18 I Corinthians 15:19-23, 56-57 Philippians 2:10-12, 4:7 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, 10:4 John 14:18 Every day I see the posts, the pictures, the memories~
“Happy Birthday in heaven Daddy.” “Today is the day God called Mom home.” “I miss my son/daughter every single day, even more so today.” Mamas and Daddies, sons and daughters, husbands, wives, grandmas and grandpas. Loved ones and friends~ The loss of someone we loved incredibly. As hard as we might try, we can’t escape the date on the calendar. It will always be there. Year after year. A reminder of how much we lost. We relive that moment in our hearts and minds, and it breaks us all over again. The shock of it is as real today as it was yesterday, last year or ten years ago. We hide our tears in pillows or in the shower, alone in our grief because culture makes us believe we should be past this pain by now. I still find myself gazing at our “Pops condo” in utter disbelief that my dad is really, truly gone. I still have fleeting thoughts that I need to call and check on him. I still look into my grandchildren’s eyes, unable to control my tears as I think about how much my mom would have loved them. I still have dreams of my sister Amy and for a split second, wake up believing she is still with us. Even though I know God’s Word and His promises to me, even though I know my loved ones are in Heaven with my Savior, even though I know they are experiencing remarkable glory~ I have hope, but I also grieve. The bottom line is~ I miss them terribly, I still grieve them, I still wish I could talk to them every single day. I still randomly break down and cry. I still feel lonely. And that’s okay. It’s okay sweet friend. Don’t let society dictate to you how you should grieve someone who was your whole world, especially if they have never lost theirs. When it comes to the grieving process, one of the most important things society seems to forget is this~our pain is a direct result of our obedience to God’s second greatest command. Love. Hold on to this hope~ Jesus will NEVER be disappointed in us because we loved so deeply. He will not leave your side as you grieve. Jesus will not be angry as you cry, sometimes again and again and again. His Spirit knows when your grief is too deep for words. He is touched by your feelings and longs to comfort your broken heart as He whispers~ “It is okay sweet child. It is okay. I am with you.” Today I am here to remind you~ It is all okay. The tears, the memories, the pain But most important~ the love. It is ALL okay. SCRIPTURE READING: Matthew 22:37-40 Mark 12:30-31 Romans 8:18, 22-27 I Corinthians 13:13 Hebrews 4:15, 13:5-6 I John 4:7&8
1/13/2023
Precious PromiseThe tears fell as I listened to him sing. This wasn’t new to him, his mama often cried when she sang solos or gave testimonies. I don’t think he really understood why though. I could picture him catching a glimpse of me, shrugging his shoulder a bit and running to find his brothers. But he didn’t see me cry. My 9 year old grandson singing about His Messiah, our precious promise. I didn’t think my heart could get any fuller. Why did I cry? “Messiah, a baby born to save us all.” My baby was singing about the Baby born to save us all. The significance of the words resounded deep within my soul. “All we longed for, all we needed shining in a child’s eyes.” Jesus. Just a child yet a Savior. The innocence of childhood grasped me in that moment. My little Ethan. Ethan who has not yet experienced the pain that this sin cursed world can so cruelly throw at him. The heartbreaks that come again and again as we age. No, right now he is just a child singing about His Messiah. One day though, he will remember this moment. Singing with his mama. The words will whisper to his heart when it’s hurting… “Hope forever. Death defeated. Because of this one holy night.” Why did I cry? Because I have known death. I have known heartache. I know what lies ahead for this little man, but I also know his Hope. Jesus will be with him through it all. Everything he longs for, everything he will ever need. His Messiah. My Messiah. I listened to his little voice as he reminded me of a future he has yet to live and a promise I can cling to. I don’t need to fear the future. I don’t need to fear the future of my children or my grandchildren. And I smiled through the tears. “O come, let us adore Him.” So many emotions were wrapped up in that moment. That God would use my grandson to remind me of His love in sending His own Son for us all. The older I get the more I realize how truly sinful I am, and the impact of God’s grace, mercy and forgiveness on my life. I realize the hardness of life, but the promise of a Savior Who walks with us, and sometimes even carries us through it. This brings me to my knees. Someday Ethan will understand. Someday he will cling to the words he sings. Words that show me a future made beautiful by the past. “Because of this one holy night.” What a precious promise. Messiah. On our knees we fall. SCRIPTURE READING: Hebrews 2:14-18 Isaiah 9:2,6-7
12/23/2022
Silent NightLast week I wrote about missing my yesterdays…
Let me tell you about my today. I ponder this day as I reflect on Christmases past. Christmas Eves full of excitement. Trying to get children to sleep so that presents would appear under the tree the next morning. Late nights and early mornings every year. Joyful laughter filling every corner of the house. Of my home. But tonight. As parents around the world relate to this happy noise Christmas Eve brings, others are experiencing a silent night. The kids are grown and the house remains quiet. I couldn’t help but ponder the moment Jesus was born as I thought on this. God’s silent night. The earth’s Holy night. Jesus left His Father. Despite knowing the incredible sacrifice, sadness did not engulf His Father’s silent night, for the inexplicable love that God had for us took all sadness away. With joy unspeakable, His Son left the happiness of home and heaven. In the gift of Himself, He took away all silence and replaced it with a multitude of heavenly hosts praising God. He gave us glory and hope. He gave us Himself. Always with us. Never alone again. My kids might not be under my roof anymore. My home may be silent, but my heart can be full. Your heart can be full. On this night, that excitement that was once a part of my home lives on. It lives in my children as they share hope with a world that can sometimes feel hopeless. As they sing praises to God on this Holy night. As they share the good news of God’s gift with strangers and friends, loved ones and children. It lives in my grandchildren as their parents try to get them to sleep and then a few short hours later, in the laughter coming down stairs of expectation and joy. Tonight is not silent. Tonight is Holy. God came down. He came down to give us expectation and joy. Forgiveness and hope. From the star that led the way, to the cry of a newborn~every moment of this night leads us back to our Father. And oh that our hearts would pierce that silence with our songs of deliverance. Glory to God in the highest and on earth, peace goodwill toward man!! Scripture Reading: Daniel 12:3 Luke 2
11/18/2022
Not My StoryMy son’s birthday is this week.
What do I want for my son? A child. More than anything, a child. My heart longs for it desperately for him. I thought it was my story to tell when I got pregnant with my son by mistake. I thought it was my story to tell when the doctor told us he would have birth defects and abortion was a recommendation. I thought it was my story to tell when we said “absolutely not.” I thought it was my story to tell when he had a fibral seizure and lost his hearing. I thought it was my story to tell when I watched him walk to school every day and he would wave at me the entire time, until he was no longer in sight. I thought it was my story when I watched his tenderness with his sisters, with children and with babies and couldn’t wait to see the day that he would become a daddy. A wonderful, compassionate, selfless daddy. I thought it was my story to tell when he slowly grew away from God. I thought it was my story to tell when I prayed for him to return. I thought it was my story to tell when he surrendered to God’s call. When I prayed for the woman God would have for him. The woman who would love God and my son with her everything. And God answered. I thought it was my story to tell when I saw the love she had for children and babies and I knew that one day she would be a wonderful, compassionate, selfless mama. And I thought it was my story to tell you today that she isn’t, because they have not conceived despite the years of trying. Despite the tears. Despite the prayers. It is an unanswered request. My story wasn’t really my story after all. One day it became my son’s story as he stood behind a pulpit and shared the journey his life took. The road that led him to today. The steps that God directed to this very place in time. The ache inside my soul for my son and daughter cannot be compared to the empty ache they feel. It is a loneliness and a longing that cannot be described. It is a “hard” a mama never wants to see her child experience. And yet, if ever that cliche quote were true, it is true of them~ “My story for His glory”. I know that God has a purpose. His timing is perfect. There is a reason. We do not know what the future holds, only God does. I never imagined a future for my son that didn’t include children. It crushes my heart to even pen the words. It’s a future I do not want to face. It’s a future I have to give to God daily, some days minute by minute. But it isn’t my story to tell. And today I realize, it’s not even my son’s story to tell. It’s God’s story. Today I can only tell you my chapter of that story. My son and daughter will continue it and in my heart I want to believe that perhaps one day, miraculously they will repeat it to their child and their child will continue to tell it. And in the telling, hurting hearts will be healed. I might not ever know the end of the story, but I’m so thankful God does. Whatever that ending might be, I know it will be good and wonderful and miraculous. It has never been about me. It’s not even about us. It’s about God. Future generations being brought to a Savior who loves them beyond any human love a mother or father could ever give. A hope for the hurting. Those future generations might not ever hold our namesake, but they can hold God’s, if we just continue to share His story. A story for His glory. Scripture Reading: “One generation shall praise thy works to another, And shall declare thy mighty acts. I will speak of the glorious honour of thy majesty, And of thy wondrous works. And men shall speak of the might. And I will declare thy greatness. They shall abundantly utter the memory of thy great goodness, And shall sing of thy righteousness. The LORD is good to all: And his tender mercies are over all his works. They shall speak of the glory of thy kingdom, And talk of thy power; To make known to the sons of men his mighty acts, And the glorious majesty of his kingdom. Thy kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, And thy dominion endureth throughout all generations. The LORD upholdeth all that fall, And raiseth up all those that be bowed down.” Psalm 145:4-7, 9, 11-14 “For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; And his truth endureth to all generations.” Psalm 100:5 “This shall be written for the generation to come: And the people which shall be created shall praise the LORD.” Psalm 102:18 “Which we have heard and known, And our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come, The praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. That the generation to come might know them, Even the children which should be born; Who should arise And declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments:” Psalm 78:3-4, 6-7 “Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come”. Psalm 71:18 “Nevertheless he saved them for his name's sake, That he might make his mighty power to be known.” Psalm 106:8
9/9/2022
All Those Fall FeelingsMy mom’s birthday was Thursday. She died in 2003, but it seems like it was yesterday. October is also right around the corner, marking two years since my dad passed away. I haven’t come to the point where I’m able to take my dad’s contact information off of my phone. He died one month before my November birthday. My mom died one week before my birthday. Fall is one of my favorite times of the year, second only to Christmas~
but Fall brings all the feelings with it. I yearn for early cozy evenings by the fire, but I also yearn for mom and dad. Your life changes when you lose both of your parents. It’s like a part of you is missing. You almost feel like an orphan, no matter how old you are. You might have family all around you, yet you still feel very alone at times. And so, I have my dad still listed under “favorites” in my phone’s contacts. His cute picture with his new glasses, always smiling back at me. Sadly, I didn’t realize that after a year my phone would delete all my texts from my dad. One day they were just gone, just like he was. I was crushed. My phone also has an app called “find friends”. Anytime I get to worrying that my husband is running late and I’m wondering if he’s ok, I can look at that app and see exactly where he is. My dad is still listed on that app too, right under my husband. Every day my dad would check in with me. If he didn’t, before jumping to conclusions I would look to see if he was home or just busy running errands. Sometimes the phone will swirl and swirl, looking for a particular person. Every time it locates someone it will show you where they are on a map. As smart as my phone is, it can’t show me dad. It confesses~ “no location found”. Man, that gets me every time. I’ll admit, it brought tears for a long time. Sometimes it still does. But I know it holds no truth, because I know exactly where my dad is, and one day I will join him and my mom and so many loved ones there.* I Thessalonians 4:13-14 I will fall into the arms of my Savior and weep, letting go of all the grief I so readily push down into my pit of “I don’t want to think about this”. You might wonder how I can know. You might be asking yourself how you can know. How anyone can know with 100% assurance that heaven can be your eternal home? That the arms of the Savior will welcome you there? We can know because God’s word promises us exactly that.* Romans 10:9-10, I may have lost every word my dad sent me in a text, but we can never lose the words of God. They are eternal, just as He is.*Psalm 119:89 They are our promises to cling to through every trial we go through, and they promise that if we repent and ask Jesus to save our souls and give us a home in heaven with Him one day, He will.* 2 Corinthians 5:8 My mom and dad are with Jesus. As the air becomes crisp and cozy fires are lit, when pumpkin spice everything is everywhere, I find myself missing them a little more. As much as I miss them, I still have all the precious memories of Fall days that they left me with. The week before he died, my dad told me he was planning a birthday party for me. My tears smile at that remembrance. Fall might be hard for you. The early darkness that comes with the change of time, the cold temperatures and the seclusion can certainly get you down. You miss the sunshine. Missing your loved ones on top of that can make you ache inside. The good news is, this world is not our home and we are never truly alone. *Romans 8:38-39, I am not an orphan. I am a child of God. *John 1:12 You are a child of God. His words of comfort are always available. He always knows exactly where you are, because He is right there with you. He knows your thoughts, He knows your heart. He knows your aching and He knows your rejoicing.* Psalm 139, Philippians 4:6-7 We don’t have to wait until we get to heaven to fall into our Savior’s arms and let all our grief and sadness go. We don’t have to push it down into the pit of “I don’t want to think about this”. We can give it all to Him right now. In fact, He wants us to do exactly that.*Psalm 55:22, 1 Peter 5:7, Matthew 11:28-30, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, Psalm 23, 46:1-2 Whatever hard feelings Fall holds for you, with it’s falling leaves or falling snow, falling rain or… falling back into the darkness of daylight savings~ Remember these words and cling to them~ Fall into His arms. FALL into His arms.* Matthew 10:29-31 FALL into the arms of Jesus. What hope that holds and what comfort it gives~ because I know~ that’s exactly where my mom and dad are too. *John 16:33, Psalm 31:24
7/1/2022
Just Be QuietThere is too much noise.
Have you ever had days or even weeks like that? My brain won’t be quiet amidst the whirlwind of life going on around me. I am a thinker. I love to think on God’s word. I love to think about life lessons He has for me. I love to voice my thoughts to God as I pray. I love moments of quiet with Jesus. What if life isn’t quiet though? Morning until evening. Constant. No time to gather your thoughts or be still with God. I tend to assume that my blog suffers at times like these. I fret. I can’t seem to focus on what I should write about because I can’t seem to gather just a few moments to think, and when an opportunity presents itself, my brain strays and I end up focusing on everything else that’s going on in my life at the time. I find myself wishing for a miracle. I find myself begging God in the late hours of the night to give me a message of hope, but often I strive in my own strength. Trying to think. Trying to push past the noise. The noise hasn’t all been bad. There has been beautiful noise. The laughter of grandchildren. Wedding songs and vows made. The fellowship of extended family. Ladies discussing the study of God’s word. Church services and beautiful old hymns being sung. But then there has been the noise of other things. Things that push past quiet moments and steal away my thoughts toward God. The noise of traffic as we travel. The noise of packing and unpacking and packing again. The noise of responsibility and to do lists screaming at us to get finished before the noise of hospital stays next week. The noise of worry over my husband’s upcoming surgery. The noise of wondering and what ifs. And I just want to stop. I yearn for the quiet. I yearn for God. But my brain doesn’t want to be quiet. This morning I stole a few moments from my day. I turned on my Bible app and I sat and made myself listen to God’s words. I quietly asked Him to speak to me. To speak past the noise. To speak past the whirlwind in my brain. He never fails. Today He showed me the simple passage of the blind man in Mark 8. Jesus took him away from all the noise. Away from the city, (v. 23) and then He touched him. It didn’t happen right away~ that miracle God had just for him. Jesus asked him a simple question. “Do you see anything?” (v. 23) But things were still blurry to the man. So Jesus touched him again, and that’s when the miracle happened. The man could see. In that moment as I read, I knew that I needed to stop talking AT Jesus. I knew I needed to stop asking Him for something to write. Stop begging Him for a message of hope that might help others. I needed my brain to get away from it all and allow Jesus to speak to me. I didn’t need just the right words to share with the world, (Mark 8:26) I needed His words to see things clearer. I didn’t need a message of hope to write for my blog, I needed a message of hope FOR MY OWN HEART. In that moment, I heard His message. Do you see? Do you see me? I am here. It was blurry at first. Like the blind man, the noise still seemed larger than life to me. Like looming trees. (Mark 8:24) I read that passage and then read it again. And then the miracle happened. I could see. So clearly. I didn’t need the quiet. I was the one who needed to be quiet. I needed to look at Jesus and listen to Him. It never ceases to amaze me that I can read scripture countless times and miss a tiny morsel of knowledge that God has for me and then suddenly He touches me with His words and miracles happen. My eyes are opened and I see exactly what I need at the exact moment I need it. The blind man didn’t question God and ask why he couldn’t see after the first attempt, Jesus questioned the blind man. Sometimes we just need to be quiet, stop striving and just listen to God and apply His words to our souls so that are eyes are opened to His truths. Maybe some of you might feel like your life is out of control right now. The noise is deafening and your heart is crying out, but you just can’t seem to focus on God. Let me encourage you today. Stop trying. Get away from it all, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Then, stop talking AT Jesus and allow Him to speak to you. Get yourself a bible app and listen to His miraculous words. Your chaos. Your busy. Your overwhelm and your noise will all be silenced in awe of Him and you will feel His peace wash over you. What do you see? Imagine opening your eyes amidst the chaos that looms over your soul. Imagine opening your eyes and seeing Jesus there. Smiling back at you. That’s the miracle that can happen if you just stop to listen.
4/8/2022
Is Heaven Far Away?I listened to his breathing. Tears fell unashamedly from my eyes. It was excruciating to hear the labor with every breath that was drawn.
My heart yearned for heaven for him. I didn’t want him to leave, but I did not want this pain for him. So many of us have lost loved ones in the last few years. Death seems to be on the forefront of social media, as well as the prayer chains in our churches. Sorrow upon sorrow have hit so many. It has hit me more than I care to think on. I saw a picture recently that brought it to my mind once again. The sign read~”We know you would be here today, if heaven wasn’t so far away”. I understood the heart behind the words, but I rejoiced in the truth of God’s word and what a difference it can make in the believer’s life. If you have lost a loved one this might sound like your reality, but my friend~it is not. Heaven is not far away at all. Heaven is only one breath away for the believer. One last breath and you are in the presence of God. There is no waiting. 2 Corinthians 5:8 Just a breath. My scripture reading has been in the book of Job lately. A book that I desperately need God’s help to wrap my mind around. God never fails. I asked my husband why some preachers act like it’s so wonderful that in the end, Job got a double portion of everything he had previously lost. Job 42:12 Everything except his children. Every one of Job’s children had been killed. I could not wrap my mind around the idea that yes, Job had more kids, but they could never replace the children he had lost. My husband’s answer convicted me. God did not replace the children that Job lost, because they were not lost. He would see them again. 2 Samuel 12:23 How often do I forget this when I think on all those that I loved so dearly who have left this earth? They are not far away at all. They are as close as my last breath. Sweet friend, Jesus died on the cross to give us eternal life. Do we dare look at the cross and tell Jesus it is not enough? That what He endured for us wasn’t enough? When we work harder at being good, always hoping it’s good enough. When we give more to the church, as if trying to buy our way in~that’s exactly what we are telling our Savior. The words of Jesus become null and void in our representation of earning our way to heaven. His words~”It is finished”. God tells us that absent from the body is present with the Lord, and that the only way to be in His presence after death is through Jesus finished work on the cross. I John 5:12-13, Luke 23:43, Hebrews 7:25. Our repentance, His forgiveness. Romans 10:9-13 Once that’s our reality, Jesus tells us that no one can pluck us out of our Father’s hand. John 10:28-29. We have a home in heaven one day with our God of mercy, grace and love. No question. Immediately in His presence. And so my friend, rejoice in that truth. We might not understand why God chooses to take our loved ones when He does. Job 42:3 We weep, but so did our Savior. He understands our emotions because He lived them. John 11:35 We sorrow because we love, but we sorrow with the hope of heaven bringing light to our sadness. 1 Thessalonians 4:13 And knowing this~ we don’t ever have to be afraid of death, or feel as if God and Heaven are far away. Psalm 49:15, 1 Corinthians 15:54-58 If you are sorrowing today, ask God to bring the light of hope to your sadness. Your loved one isn’t far at all. Heaven is only one breath away.
3/4/2022
Don’t Stop PrayingIt has been an emotional week.
My dad has been gone for a little over a year and yet, thoughts of his passing have come to the forefront of my mind for no particular reason. At times I can hardly wrap my mind around it. My dad went home to heaven the day after the funeral of one of our dearest friends, who had unexpectedly passed away just the week before. The friend whose birthday would be this Monday~the day before my dads. They entered this earth a day apart and left this earth a week apart. Thoughts of the trials my children have faced, and continue to face have also weighed on me. Thoughts of missing my sister-in-law as I watch her son get married tonight have brought tears of happiness mixed with tears of sorrow. And then, thoughts of the horrors other countries are facing have been a constant, even as I write this. I have struggled with what to post this week. I have prayed and asked God for words to encourage, and yet He has been silent. And I couldn’t understand why. I wondered if perhaps he didn’t want me to write a thing. Certainly I don’t want to post some cliche story that God never intended I share. Sometimes you may wonder why continual “bad” hits you from every direction and God seems to remain silent. Here’s the thing. For me, He hasn’t been silent. He has been speaking to my soul, but my mind was screaming too loud to hear Him. My eyes were focused on the emotions I was feeling instead of on Him. My scripture reading landed on Job this week. I’ll be honest, I didn’t want to read it. I complained. I told God I needed something uplifting, but He knew exactly what I needed. Quotes that I had scheduled a month ago popped up on my Holding Hope page all week, and it still didn’t hit me. Quotes suggesting I pray about what my mind wanders to. Quotes reminding me to keep praying, even if all I have left is a whisper. (1 Thessalonians 5:17, Philippians 4:6) Quotes that told me to just Be Still. (Psalm 46:10) My mind was anything but still. My thoughts were running a marathon inside it. But today in the tiny moments of quiet I had, I prayed again. I finally heard Him. His whispers through the cracks of distractions touched my heart. (I Kings 19:11&11, Matthew 14:28-30) He kept telling me to be still and as much as I argued that I was being still, I knew deep down I wasn’t. So I stopped. I stopped trying to figure out all the answers on my own. I stopped and I just sat. I sat on my bed and I asked Jesus to sit with me. Just to sit there and hold my hand and still my heart. (Matthew 28:20, Jeremiah 29:11) And He did. And He told me to tell you to do the same. How easily I allow circumstances to weigh me down and steal my peace and joy as I wonder what’s going to happen. How easily I miss my loved ones and fall into a sadness I don’t want to climb out of, instead of realizing the comfort and hope of heaven.(1 Thessalonians 4:13) How easily I try to control situations and find myself in continual unrest. How easily I focus on the bad and miss all the good. I miss Him. We’re all looking for hope. For answers. We scroll through social media looking for that quote or devotional that will give us those answers we’re seeking. We even open our bibles, as if a verse will magically appear to answer our “whys”. God often uses all of these things to help those in need, myself included, but sometimes in the looking we are striving in our flesh to find the answers that only God knows. Sometimes the answer is simply Him, and that’s all we need to know. (Hebrews 6:18 & 19) Once we get to the place of that realization our eyes are opened. We see life through Him and in His stillness, everything is changed. We suddenly understand that we don’t have to know all the answers, we just need to be still with Him. (Ephesians 1:18) Don’t stop praying sweet friend, even if it feels like God is silent. He is not. Keep seeking Him in the stillness until His stillness pushes out all the distractions and it is just you and your Savior~ And through faith, you once again see your life through His eyes. The eyes of of Him who loves you and gave Himself for you. (Galatians 2:20, 2 Corinthians 4:17 & 18)
2/18/2022
Holding On To TearsHappy memories can dance through the recesses of our minds and bring so much joy to an ordinary day. Memories give us hope, because we can see the entire picture that the happiness was painted around.
Tears can stay with us as well. Just as much as the happy memories can linger, so can the memories that brought us tears. When I set my mind on one or the other, it amazes me how many of those moments come flooding back. The good and the bad. The moments that brought tears are so distinctive to me. Some have stayed with me from a very early childhood. They are etched into my brain and I can remember them like they were yesterday. Kindergarten and the first death of a beloved pet. The stinging words of a supposed friend. Having to move for the first of many times. My parents fighting. My parents separation. Leaving all my friends and moving far from our country home to a city filled with people. A heart broken by young love. The cool girl with her mean words. The word cancer and the death of my grandfather after a year of hospital visits and treatments. Watching the agonizing pain and heartache my mother was going through every single day because of it. Leaving my family to move 700 miles away. The words “your child will have birth defects. Termination is an option”. More moves. Losing my best friend. The mama tears of watching your children through every phase of their lives as they face all the same heartaches you did. A crushing betrayal. 10 wasted years of unforgiveness. Losing my mama. Death upon death upon death. Losing my daddy. Unanswered prayers of a begging heart. Too many tears to mention. In those moments I did not want to hear~ “God does everything for a reason” “We can’t have rainbows without rain”. Or any of the cliche things that people say, because they don’t know what to say. In those moments I just wanted to cry. And I wanted someone to cry with me and understand my pain. Tears are very lonely. Tears have a profound impact on us. Heartache can shape our souls if we allow it. Our days will be filled with misery or bitterness, anger or resentment, self pity or loss of hope. Sometimes even the loss of our will to live. And when the tears beat down on us day after day after day, sometimes we give up the fight, because there’s no fight left in us. But. If we continually look back at our life we can have hope again because we can see that somehow when we truly believed all was lost, God brought us out to the other side. We were never alone. (Joshua 1:9) He was always with us, we just lost sight of him through the tears that blurred our vision and blinded our hearts. Whatever might be causing your tears today will be a memory for your tomorrow. God does not just paint the beautiful pictures of happy moments. He paints His goodness and peace and comfort into every heartbreaking moment we go through. One day you will look back and see the entire picture God had painted. His word tells us that He puts every one of our tears in a bottle, and writes them all down in a book. A bottle is a container. It holds things. Every single one of your tears are precious to Him and when you thought you couldn’t hold it together any longer and it was the end of your story, He was holding you and writing what you didn’t think you could. (Psalm 56:8&9) Yes, if we set our minds on the heartache we will be overcome by the grief and so, our loving Heavenly Father and Friend bids us~ set your mind on things above. (Colossians 3:1) Time passes so quickly and the moments that I thought would break me are the moments I see God putting His loving arms around me, picking me up and carrying me through. (Psalm 34:18&19) I feel the comfort He gave and the peace that overcame the heartache. (John 14:27) I see that He did answer my prayers, despite the tears that blinded me in those moments. And I look ahead to the day I am in His presence when His loving hand will wipe away every single tear that has fallen from my eyes. (Revelation 7:17, 21:4) Each tear He holds in His bottle sets my heart on things above. Each tear reminds me of my Savior’s love. Each tear reminds me that He wept along with me and understands. (John 11:35) Each tear reminds me that my Savior suffered for me, yet He did it with joy. (Hebrews 12:2) Each tear reminds me that I am never ever alone, and as I look back each tear reminds me of the beautiful happy moments God created for me through it all. Because each tear makes every happy memory so much sweeter. And the happy far outweighs the sad. (Psalm126:1-3) Don’t hold on to the tears. Let Jesus hold them. You hold on to the good. Every single good memory~and just believe. You will see His glory. (John 11:40) because everything good and everything perfect always comes from God. (James 1:17) And because He is writing your book, and every story He has ever written always has a beautiful ending. (2 Peter 1:19, Psalm 139:1-18)
12/10/2021
The Empty Places At ChristmasOur children’s Christmas play might look a little different this year. Sickness has seem to hit our little town very hard. School activities have been canceled and our children’s midweek program has suffered. Attendance has been light to say the least, and because of this our Christmas program has also suffered. A program that we look forward to every year. A program that fills our little church with parents, grandparents and friends. A program that tells the good news of Jesus birth.
As I prayed about this Sunday, my heart wondered who would even attend? We only had a handful of children participating ~ half of whom were my own grandchildren. I thought about empty pews, and how that might affect them. But as I prayed God whispered to my heart that it would all be fine, because He brought to my remembrance the very first Christmas. The night the good news of Jesus birth was proclaimed by an angel. Not to a large auditorium full of people, but to shepherds in a field who came to a manger and worshipped a Savior. Thousands of people were in Bethlehem that night, but God came into the stillness of a silent night and spoke to the humble hearts of shepherds. And I knew that whether one person came and sat alone in our little auditorium, or 100 people came, God knew all along that the ones who needed the message would be there. Listening to the words of children proclaiming the good news. Watching the faith of a younger generation and having hope again in their hearts. And I knew that God would be there. Jesus among us~ no matter how small the attendance might be. This year your Christmas might look a little different, for one reason or another. Lack of family and friends and empty chairs might affect you. Don’t be tempted to look for Jesus in the big. Don’t look for Him in the parties or in the shopping and wrapping. Don’t look for Him in the Christmas music and movies. Don’t look for Him In the festivities filled with all the big Christmas things. Don’t look for His joy and peace in a place. Look for Him in the silent night, with the faith of a child. That’s where Christmas will be because that’s where God will be. His love fills all the empty places. Jesus among us. The precious gift of Jesus~right here in the stillness of your humble heart. “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27 ◦ |
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