Do you ever see people and try to picture what type of home they live in or the way they might decorate that home? Do you ever drive through your neighborhood and look at house after house and wonder what it looks like inside?


Maybe I’m a little weird, but I do.
When I listen to audiobooks, when I watch work out videos, when I read devotionals or even meet random people, I find myself picturing what type of home they might live in.
I’m really not sure why haha.


Maybe it makes me feel that if I knew, I would know that person on a more personal level. I guess I want to know them deeper than just a face on a screen or a voice on a podcast.


Recently I’ve done something way out of my comfort zone.
I’ve invited people in at the spur of the moment.
Into my home, my introvert safe place.


I was fine inviting people in on social media, hiding behind a screen. It’s so easy to stage your house~just shove all the stuff you don’t want people to see out of the camera’s view. Even better, you don’t have to actually see people’s reactions to your pictures after they’re posted.


I was okay with having people over, as long as I knew way in advance so that I could prepare. Even then I would stress.
I’m such a Martha. (Luke 10:41-42)
None of this spur of the moment thing.


As little as a year ago this was something I never would have done, because of fear.
Fear that my house wasn’t clean enough, but mostly just fear over what people would think.


I believed the lies I told myself~ if I invite people in they might think I’m bragging about my home, they don’t care about how I decorate. They don’t care about antiques. This is not Pinterest worthy. They might think I’m nuts for decorating this way… and on and on.
The lies were my escape route.


But God was nudging my heart.
Let them in Charisse. Just let them in.


And I realized it wasn’t just about my home. It was about me, and the fear I had over the perception I thought people would have of me. My dumb pride always getting in the way.


If you’ve followed along on my blog journey you know this “introvert thing”, and my worry over what people think is not something new to me. I’m continually sweeping that “hospitality thing” Christ talks about under the rug. (1 Peter 4:9, Romans12:13, Titus 1:8) It’s something God has really been getting on me about for a while now.


I’m a mess in progress with a Hope in heaven and a God of great grace.


And so, I took the plunge and at the spur of the moment with no tidying, with no cleaning, with no worry that my floors were covered with grass clippings or beach sand or that dirty dishes were in the sink, with no worry that maybe I had left my sports bra hanging on the bathroom doorknob or that one of my grandkids did not flush the toilet,
I let them in.


And then something funny happened, again and again and again opportunities came up and again and again I let them in. And every single time I was amazed at the gratitude, the smiles, the appreciation, the kind words. I felt a freedom, I felt a happiness, I felt a joy in the fact that my home was lived in and traces of my grandchildren were everywhere I looked, because my home was filled with love.


Just yesterday, on a whim I invited a sweet acquaintance in to see my home. I’ve known who she was for years and always thought “she seems to be the kind of person I’d like to get to know”. But that’s where it ended. I admired from afar. Introvert Charisse never got to know her.
And so I invited her in. I’m so glad I did.
She completely surprised me with her kind words~ “Who knew this was in Caseville! It’s beautiful! Do your neighbors know this is what your home looks like inside?”


Her last comment is what got me.
No, no they probably don’t. Because I’ve always convinced myself that they wouldn’t care.


After she left I really thought about it. Why had I convinced myself that others wouldn’t care to be invited in when I readily admit that I would LOVE to peek inside the homes of others?

Our homes are an extension of our hearts. Our safe place. Our comfort. That’s why I don’t necessarily think that the gratitude and smiles really had so much to do with opening my front door and showing people how I decorate, but more so with opening my heart and sharing that comfort with them.


Maybe you are the very opposite of me. Maybe you aren’t an introvert and thoroughly enjoy having people over all the time. Maybe it’s not hard for you at all. But sometimes I think it’s a little hard for all of us to truly open up our hearts. To be vulnerable with others and allow them to see that vulnerability~ sports bra, unflushed toilet and all.


And so I encourage all you introverts today~ open your home to others.
And to you extroverts~ good for you!! I strive to get to that place.
But for both~ open your hearts. Let others in. If we never open our hearts to others, we can never truly care for each other, pray for each other (Ephesians 3:14-21) or lean on each other.(Galatians 6:2) If we never open our hearts to others they will never see the goodness of God inside of us. (2 Thessalonians 1:11-12) They won’t ever get to meet our Jesus Who lives there. (Revelation 3:20)
They won’t get to see His light and glory and love. (2 Corinthians 4:6, Matthew 5:13-16)
They will just see us.
The outside of a house. (Psalm 127:1)
Always wondering what it looks like on the inside.


Today I invite you. Come on in and let me show you around… 😊🥰

I had a heart to heart with Jesus last night.


Around midnight my husband’s pager went off. I always feel uneasy when his pager goes off, especially in the middle of the night.


Not only is my husband a firefighter, two of my son in laws are as well.


It was only minutes after he rushed out that I heard a loud explosive sound in my backyard. I quickly jumped out of bed and grabbed my phone to call him. And then it happened again, even louder than the first time. My whole backyard looked like it was on fire. We lost electricity and the sky grew dark again. My heart felt like it was beating outside of my chest. Within seconds the fire truck showed up. I sat at the top of my stairwell in the dark, looking out at my backyard, watching and listening as the firefighters got out, and with flashlights began to assess the area. They had complete faith in their training and fire gear and I was in awe. I watched those brave men outside and wondered if they might step on something electrical or worse, have the whole incident happen again.


To be honest, I was scared. As I sat there watching, I started thinking about all the stupid things I’ve allowed myself to be scared of my entire adult married life.
Compared to this moment, they seemed so insignificant.


So many things flooded my mind, but one stood out above the others~
I’ve been holding out on God because of pride.


All these years I’ve been blaming so many things on the fact that I’m “shy” and I’m an “introvert”. For the longest time, I wouldn’t willingly walk up and converse with people at church or around town and I always blamed it on my shyness.


God brought something to the forefront of my mind as I sat in that stairwell last night. Lately Facebook has been prompting me to do a video for my Holding Hope page so that followers could “get to know me”. I felt this nudge from God every time I got that notification. I know that this generation is drawn more to visual than written word. It’s easier to watch or even listen than to read. I also know that it is a marketing ploy on Facebook’s behalf and due to my shyness, my response has always been “no way”. I have an extremely hard time doing video chats with my own children let alone recording myself for a bunch of strangers.


I tend to be overly critical and find every flaw, not to mention the fact that when you’re recording, you’re pretty much talking to yourself on camera. I don’t know how this generation can do it so easily. I chalked it up to their self love and prided myself on my humbleness.


And that’s exactly what Jesus pointed out to me last night~
I was proud of my humbleness, when in reality I wasn’t being humble at all.
I was just proud.


It’s a lot easier to speak up for God behind a pen and paper or a social media post, but the minute you put your face out there you become vulnerable. I was scared of that vulnerability. My fear was this~


I was afraid of what people would think of me. Bottom line. Pride. Not because I’m shy. Not because I’m an introvert. Because I’m scared of the opinions of others and what they will think of how I look, talk and act. Sadly it wasn’t a fear of how I would represent the Lord, it was a fear of how people perceived Charisse.


I forgot the very important fact that God is within me and by my side and by hiding behind my pride and the false identity of shyness, I was hiding His glory and all the joy He brings to my life.


The next morning as I read His word, three verses popped out.
(1 John 1:4, 2 John 1:12, 3 John 1:4)
I thought about how much joy writing for this blog brings me. I thought about how much joy each one of you brings to my life. As I go through notifications, I pray for names of women I will most likely never meet, but it gives me joy to do so. It gives me so much incredible joy to share the hope of God. It brings joy to tell you how He can change your life forever. I don’t want to quench that joy. I don’t want to suppress it. I want it to multiply to all of you. If that means following the nudge of God, stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something new, then I know I can do it because God will be with me.


I don’t ever want people to see Charisse in my posts or conversations.
I always want them to see Christ.


So what is the point in my rambling and confessions? I guess to just encourage all of you to examine your own hearts. What are you allowing to hold you back? God’s word promises us that He will always be with us. It’s His training through His word that will sustain and carry us through. If He asks it of us, He will provide every measure of strength we need. Look for God’s leading in your life. Don’t be scared. If He is leading, He’s right there with you and He will continue to be with you every step of the way.


Yes, I am an introvert. I am shy. I’m not a people person and it’s very hard to put myself out there~but I can’t lean on that crutch for every situation in my life that feels uncomfortable.
I have to step out on faith.


Just like my brave firefighter husband, son in laws and friends did last night.


And in the process, you might just see some videos in the near future 😉 Philippians 1:6

This was very hard for me to write. I prayed and read and dug deep into scripture. Then I prayed and prayed some more because no matter what I came up with, I couldn’t even convince myself~ so, how could I convince you?

I don’t need to tell you this but I’m going to anyway~
Comparison is the thief of Joy.

Deep down, you already know that.
Sadly, so do I.

There’s so much I could write on this subject. 54 years of comparison stealing away joy. I’m not necessarily talking about possessions here (that’s another topic for another post). I’m talking about genetic personality traits that we are unhappy with. Our DNA. Ways we wish we were physically different than how God created us.

It all started one night when I was washing my face.
I was slathering wrinkle cream all over my neck and wondering why I waited until my 50’s to start doing this. I wished my mom had warned me, so I picked up my phone and jokingly sent a text to my daughters~

“Mom tip #54- start putting wrinkle cream on your neck right now, not just on your face”
My daughter Kathryn responded ~”thanks mom, but I’d like to know the other 53 tips too 😂😂😂”

I laughed at her response, but it sort of stuck with me. I’m 54. What tips could I leave with my daughters that could help them? Tips that might change their lives?

So, I started thinking about putting together a list of mom advice. 54 tips to help my kids. Add one each year.

But here’s what I kept thinking about~
All the mistakes I made and regrets I had. The very things I didn’t want my own daughters to experience.

One major regret was comparison. Why have I wasted 54 years wishing I could be like someone else? I can remember being this way since grade school. Wishing I wasn’t such a “girly” girl. Wishing I was stronger, more athletic, wishing I was more outgoing, wishing for a different body, hair, face. Thinking I wasn’t cool enough. Wishing I wasn’t so shy. Wishing I was more confident. Wishing I was like someone else.

Wishing I was like her...

So girls, here you go. Here are some things God has shown me this week, tips that have helped me to work on viewing myself through God’s lens instead of my own.

⁃ This will always be my #1 tip in every situation, no matter what~ ASK GOD FOR HELP.
⁃ Get in God’s word. Comparison has been around since the beginning of time. The story unfolds with Satan tempting Eve by comparing her to God, her son comparing himself to his brother, Rachel and Leah, Saul with David, Gideon, Moses and the list goes on. We can learn so much from reading their accounts. Some went through tremendous heartache because of comparison, but many were great men and women of God in the Bible. They felt lacking. They didn’t feel good enough or qualified enough to do the job, yet God always used them in mighty ways. He showed many of them that their comparison issues weren’t an issue at all, because it was never about them. It was, and always will be all about God.
He used them to fulfill the gospel.
This was such a comfort to me.
II Corinthians 10:12, Exodus 4:11
⁃ See myself as God sees me and be thankful. I don’t want to live the remainder of the time I have left comparing myself to other women and putting down God’s creation. God thought about every tiny detail of me and of you, and then He said~this is what I want her to be like. This is how I want her to look and this is the personality I want her to have. She will be mine, she will be marvelous and wonderful. She will be precious to me. Isaiah 64:8, Luke 12:7, Psalm 139:1-16 (read it, it’s true!!)
⁃ Every day write down one thing about yourself that makes you happy. Jot down those scriptures from Psalm 139. Stick them everywhere as a reminder of God’s love for you. Shove them in your purse. The next time you’re standing in line at Target and you see that super friendly, outgoing, beautiful lady in front of you and you start to compare and forget~you can reach for your wallet and pull out that card instead. Then smile, because God reminded you how beautiful you are to Him. I know as Christians we can view this as being prideful~but done in the right spirit, it is a heart of thankfulness to God. At times we can be critical regarding the fine line between pride and thankfulness. You know, the whole Pharisee/Sadducee argument (and let me just add, if you’re talking to others about how humble you are, that’s probably your pride finding it’s voice, but if you’re talking to God about how thankful you are, that’s your heart glorifying God). Everything about you is a gift from God. A gift you should be thankful for. If you think about it, when we dwell on the things we dislike about ourselves we are telling God that He made a mistake because we are viewing our opinions higher than His. We are telling God~I don’t believe what Your word says about me. I don’t believe You. But, if we view the things about ourselves that we are happy with and we thank God for them, we are actually glorifying Him through that thanksgiving. I Thessalonians 5:18, Philippians 4:11
⁃ Realize your mind is your enemy, she is not. She probably has issues deep down inside just like you do. Learn to renew your mind daily by feeding it with Gods word. (Which goes back to tip #2) Romans 12:2. If we don’t love ourselves exactly the way God made us, how can we possibly love others like Christ does? Like we’re supposed to? Resentment, jealousy and comparison will continually steal our joy. Matthew 22:39. Tell the “her” in your life how awesome she is. Tell her how much you appreciate her attributes. Stop that lady in front of you in line and let her know how beautiful she looks today. This is another way you can not only glorify God, but lift up another sister who might be going through a hard time just like you. You will be amazed at how much this will not only bless her, but bless you as well.
Ephesians 2:10, Isaiah 52:7
⁃ Realize social media, television and other people’s opinions are not what defines you. God is Who defines you. When God looks at us He sees His image. He sees the blood of His Son and the redemption it brings. He gives glorious liberty to help us get past that comparison. He sees a precious soul He loves. He knows everything about you. He knows every thought you have and He understands. He knows every word you will speak. He’s aware of every single one of your ways. And He loves you. Not the you that you wish you could be, the you that is reading this right now. Psalm 139:1-4, Genesis 1:27, Ecc 3:11, Psalm 90:17, Romans 8:21, 27, 29

Obviously I’m not talking about things that God has given us the ability to work on and change ie~
“well God made me a liar, so I’m going to perfect it and be thankful for that attribute.” Or “God made me lazy, so I’ll just lay here rejoicing in that.” “God created me to love junk food so I don’t have to listen to my doctor’s warnings about my health.” Etc.

I’m talking about comparison in areas that God intricately designed us to be.

Our ultimate goal~Be holy as God is holy. Not~ be like Sandy or Becky, Amy or Julie.

Just Jesus. Period.

You know what all those comparison wishes are? They’re whispers from Satan. They hit you when you least expect it and can change your entire day. You lose all joy and end up feeling defeated instead of praising God for the person He created you to be. The person you are.

You are a living gospel message.

You are you.
Fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image.
Do you know what the word fearfully means in Psalm 139?
It means~ “in a manner to impress admiration”. 🥰

You are you. A child of the most high God. His perfect blueprint.
Marvelous and precious.

Don’t ever forget that, it will change your life.

WALLS AROUND YOUR HEART

There were walls that surrounded my heart.

They had been there for years.

They started off small, but slowly I added to them. Year after year, brick after brick, I added to those walls until my heart was completely surrounded.

No one could break through. No one could hurt me again. I would not be vulnerable. I would protect myself. But in the darkness of those walls that surrounded me, my heart got cold.

It was a continual battle of my own making. I would not allow anyone in. I became insecure. I had trust issues. Bitterness slowly crept in. I thought that if I just stayed behind these walls, I would be safe.

Deep down I knew, I had built up walls against God as well. Despite all my efforts at trying to change, the walls would not come down.

I was too scared to let anyone in. I was too scared of being hurt again.

I was stuck.

Instead of giving God each circumstance that hurt me, I built the walls higher, and though I lied and told myself I didn’t, I blamed Him. Why didn’t He step in and stop that from happening? Why did He allow my heart to get so hurt? I always boasted that I never questioned God. Deep down I truly thought that I had faith in Him. That He has a reason for everything that happened, but I realized I was wrong~
I had blamed Him.

And now it was too late.

The wall was too high for me to climb. It was too hard. I couldn’t break it down. Some days I beat on it over and over and over, but I couldn’t stop the fear, the mistrust and the insecurities. And I fell on my face before God and cried.

I cried and I cried.

So many wasted years. I was of no use to Him now. How could I be?

But then He called my name.

He opened my eyes and He showed me. I didn’t have to break those walls down. I didn’t have to try to climb over them. There~ in the darkness that overwhelmed me~was a door. A door called grace. It had been there all along. He whispered to my aching heart that He was that door. All I need do was open it and walk through.

I would be free.

I hesitated. I hesitated for a very long time. I was scared to open that door and become vulnerable. I couldn’t do it. I cried and told Him that I couldn’t do it. I was too scared.

And that’s when He picked me up and He carried me.

He opened that door and He walked through it~
with me in His arms.
And as He walked through that door, those walls came crashing down behind us until nothing was left.

The darkness was gone.
I was completely engulfed in the beautiful Light of the world.

I was free because~
I was free in Him and through Him.

I was finally free.

John 8:12, 8:36

I CAN ONLY WRITE THE SONGS I NEED TO HEAR

Can I just be honest here~

I have fear. I get anxious. I don’t have answers to the hard questions. At times I struggle knowing what I should post or how I should pray, and sometimes I don’t think I even know what to think.

I’m not strong. I worry I’m doing this life wrong. I’m doing this mom thing, this wife thing, this pastor’s wife thing, this whole blog thing~wrong.

I have doubts. Who am I to write anything? I’ve been accused of overthinking. How can I tell others what they ought to think?

I get scared. Life is going too fast. The older I get the weeks seem to spiral past me like a movie on fast forward.

At times I find myself wishing I could be free of worry and doubt. Free from the overthinking and fear. Free from the “what~ifs” and “should~haves”.

And I’m scared that if I share this, everyone will think I’m a little bit crazy. Or a whole lot crazy. No one will want to read the words that I write.

God won’t get the glory.

But today, as I read HIS words to me, He tells me something different~

He tells me I am set free~
“For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death”

He tells me I don’t need to feel enslaved by my mess ups.
He tells me I don’t need to be scared~
“For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba (Daddy), Father.”

He tells me He is my Daddy and I can cry out to Him, day or night because I am His child~
“The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: “

He tells me He will be glorified~
“And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

He tells me He is always there to help me, when I don’t know what to write or think or pray, He knows~
“Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.”

He tells me that everything will work out~
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

That He is for me, and that’s all that matters~
“What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?”

And that nothing that I do or don’t do, nothing that I think, nothing that I say, no fear or worry~~
NOTHING can separate me from His love~
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?”

And that through Him, I will conquer~
“Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
‭‭
Romans‬ ‭8:2, 15-18, 26-28, 31-32, 35, 37-39‬ ‭

So, that’s what I will think. That’s what I will say. That’s what I will write. That’s what I will post. Because they are His words, and not mine,

And that’s what I will believe.

Have you ever seen a commercial of an energetic, happy go lucky woman that was smiling about everything and then wished you could be like her? I have. Often. Sometimes I feel like such a mess. A mess as a mom, a wife, a Christian or a friend. Instead of being excited and energetic about events on my calendar I tend to get too overwhelmed with all the "to do's" within the next month (and before the wedding) And I freak out a little. Or I will read a new devotional and think I must be doing things all wrong in my walk with God. I get down on myself. But then God does something amazing. He keeps nudging me and telling me to keep at it. Keep praying. Keep reading His word. And He shows me He loves me because I read about David, a man after God's own heart who wrote many of the Psalms. A man after God's own heart that admits he is overwhelmed in Psalm 102. So overwhelmed and sad that he doesn't even want to eat. He pours out his complaints to God but it doesn't end there. In Psalm 103 our amazing Savior tells us that He understands. He knows we are only human so He is merciful and gracious and slow to anger. His mercy is as high as the heaven from the earth and the east from the west. From everlasting to everlasting. And He tells me He's got this and He understands and He loves me. I don't need to beat myself up about feeling like a mess or compare myself to a TV commercial. I just need to talk to my Heavenly Father. He forgives, He redeems, He pours out His loving kindness. He satisfies us with good things so that we are renewed. He tells me "It's okay Charisse. I love you". David didn't have a devotional telling him the right way to live for God. He just talked to Him and poured out His heart and I think that's a perfect place to start. 💗