ALL GONE, JUST LIKE THE TURKEY ON A CHRISTMAS STORY.
Christmas came and went. So much happy preparation for one day, and just like that~ It’s over. Maybe for you it was the best Christmas ever, or maybe it wasn’t everything you had hoped for, and sadness lingers. Can I ask you to search your heart? What gift did you give? Not to those who sat around your tree, but to the One whose birthday we celebrate? I will never forget the Christmas all my children woke up with the flu. For months I had been preparing for this day. My whole family would be visiting. My mom always hosted, but this year it would be my first time having everyone on Christmas Day~ and it would be the best Christmas ever. After being up till 2am (like every other parent on Christmas Eve), I fell into bed ~while visions of sugarplums danced in my head~ I was SO excited for the kids to wake up on Christmas morning and open their gifts. Instead, a few short hours later we woke up to crying and fevers and throwing up. One after another. All four kids. Over and over and over. And I cried. This was my day. THE day I looked forward to all year. Why would God do this? He knew how much I loved Christmas. All the cooking and baking, decorating and shopping, wrapping and work, all the sleep deprivation and expectations of joy. All gone. Just like the turkey on “A Christmas Story”. What about me? I was like a child in that moment. Illusions that it was my birthday and not the Savior of all mankind’s. Pouting over the gifts of expectations I would not receive. Complaining that it wasn’t fair. But what did I give Jesus that day? I asked for a lot. Maybe not audibly, but inwardly. A lot. But I gave Him very little. There have been many Christmases since that time where similar situations have happened. I wish I could have a do over. Not to prevent the awful circumstances of the day, but instead to change the way I viewed those circumstances. To give of myself to my Savior whose birthday I was supposedly celebrating. I read a quote today that said~ “The celebrations were never meant to satisfy. The Savior does.” I made it all about me when the day should have been all about Him, despite the circumstances. Despite the circumstances, He came from immaculate glory to a sin cursed world. The Savior, whose hands formed the universe, were now tiny hands, tightly formed around his mother’s finger. Tiny glory, lying in a manger of hay. Born into the worst circumstances you could imagine. For you. Christmas is over. Another year is gone. But today is a new day. We owe everything to Him, yet we ask everything of Him. A new year beckons us. A whole year before next year’s birthday celebration. A whole year to give every single day. Our life is a start. The best start. Our love. Our praise. Our thankfulness. Our everything. Belated birthday wishes are always a blessing. It’s never too late. Sing Happy Birthday in your heart today. The heart that Jesus gave everything for. ❤️
12/26/2018
It’s True, God Chose You!IT’S TRUE, GOD CHOSE YOU!
As I watched The Nativity on my television that day~ I saw the angel come to Joseph. Come to Mary. Speaking to their hearts~ ”Don’t be afraid.” Words of assurance. This was God. He would be born of the Holy Spirit. Messiah and Savior of the world. A baby. I saw His birth. I saw the manger. I watched His earthly parent’s faces filled with joy and love for this Child Who meant the world to them. I saw the gift of Christmas. My heart pondered the ones God had chosen to raise the Savior of all mankind. The parents whose house Jesus would live and be raised in. They must’ve been so special for God almighty to choose them. Why? Why did God choose Joseph? Why did God choose Mary? God answered me that day. He whispered words to my heart that brought tears. I chose you too Charisse. I chose you for my Son to live and dwell. Every day He is there with you because He has been born in you. That day, so many years ago, someone showed me God’s words of incredible love. Someone read me the Christmas story and told me that baby, grown into a man, died on the cross for me. He took my sin on Himself so that I could be justified and forgiven. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart. I was no longer afraid of death. Christ was born in me and every day since that day He lives in me, and with me. There is nothing that can separate me from Him and His love for me. I am not special. I have done nothing, not one thing to deserve this. Yet God chose me, because I am His and He loves me. And He loves you. God’s gift of His Son is for you as well. The gift of being born again. The gift of everlasting life. The gift of Christmas. Just as the angel spoke to Mary and she in turn had incredible faith to believe that the Messiah would live in her~ God is speaking to you. Have faith and believe that He can live in you as well. He can live in your heart and life every single day and one day receive you into the home He has prepared for you in heaven. No fear of death any longer. You can be His manger. You can be His home here on earth. You can be the light of His star that leads others to Him. Not because you are special. Not because you are good enough. Not because you go to church. But only because of God’s love. Only because of Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross. Don’t be afraid. God’s words give us assurance. By faith believe and accept God’s beautiful gift today. The gift of a baby~ The gift of Jesus~ The gift of Christmas! Isaiah 43:10&11 John 15:16 Titus 3:5 Galatians 2:16
12/11/2018
An Unplanned PregnancyAN UNPLANNED PREGNANCY
Two of my four children were planned. Our first was a happy, yet unexpected surprise for me. Our third was a different story, but one with a very happy ending. We lived in Connecticut at the time and my OBGYN told us that everyone born before 1965 should get vaccinated for chicken pox and measles, especially if we were planning to get pregnant. The disease could be deadly for a baby in the womb. He advised I get the vaccine at least a month before conceiving, with strict orders that I NOT get pregnant. So I did. We were extremely meticulous in obeying the Doctors orders, but as careful as we were...accidents happen. I freaked out. Mike freaked out. We both freaked out. The Doctor said “DON’T get pregnant”... But I did. And I freaked. The doctors kind of freaked too. They advised abortion. They advised tests to see if the baby would be born with deformities and if these tests were positive, they advised termination. We declined. This was our miracle baby. Against all odds, God chose for him to be born. No matter what ~ he would be perfect in our eyes~ because God had chosen to breathe life into his tiny little soul as I carried him. Month after month we prayed. And as that precious baby was placed in my arms and tears of joy spilled down our cheeks, we praised God for a perfect, healthy baby boy. Our only son. What a beautiful gift from God. My life was changed that day. We are human. We our sinful. As careful as we may try to be in obeying all the “rules”, in obeying God’s commands~ we can never be perfect. We can never be good enough. We will always mess up. Sin will always be present. But there’s still a very happy ending. Romans 5:21 We are not an accident in God’s eyes. We are precious to Him. God loves us so much, He made a way. Only one way~ and that way is through His Son. And through His Son, we can become perfect in God’s eyes. Born again. Not because of anything we have done, but because of everything He did for us. John 3:3,16 Christmas changed history. Christmas changed our hearts. Christmas changed our destiny. Christmas changed our lives for eternity. Christ was born. He left the glory of heaven’s majesty. For me. For you~ To be born in you. John 1:14, 3:7 For you, so that God almighty could breathe life into your soul. So that you could carry Him in your heart. So that your life could forever be changed. Against all odds. Against all mess ups. Against all rules. Ephesians 2:8&9 Only Jesus~ living in you. Romans 8:10 Tears of joy spill down my cheeks as I think of the absolute majesty and wonder of Christ’s birth, that precious baby placed in a manger~for me. It brings me to my knees. There will be no other gift this Christmas that can compare to such a Gift as this. The Gift of forgiveness and eternal life from a Father and His Son, our Savior that gave His life for you. When I ponder the birth of my son and that little miracle placed in my arms~ my thoughts go to that manger in Bethlehem and the greatest, most important Miracle of all mankind. Fall on your knees with me this Christmas and praise God for His miraculous Gift. Matthew 2:10-11 The Gift that changed our destiny. A Gift that can change your life today ~and forever. Titus 1:2, John 3:15, I John 2:25, Romans 6:23, I John 5:11 & 13, John 10:28, John 17:3
11/27/2018
It’s In The BagIT’S IN THE BAG
I was dubbed “The bag lady” by my teasing father~in~law. It’s true. A fact about me that I’m sure many of you don’t know. I stitch linen replicas of antique bags, and I love it. Almost always, the customer will want the initials of a loved one stitched onto the bag. Someone who is precious to them. A treasure. I can’t help but think of that person. That life. This touches my heart as I stitch. These are more than just bags to me. More than just orders for customers. They are memories and love and joy. I think of these initials and the love they hold in each person’s heart. How dear that loved one is. Or was. And just as precious as our loved ones are to us, we are so much more precious to God. I think about His life, and it touches my heart. It’s more than just a story. So much more. He lived on this earth. Born in a manger. He knows what it feels like to be human. He understands. And in all His glory, because of His unfathomable love, He died on the cross for our sins. But it doesn’t end there. It ends in such sweetness that it brings tears. Despite my sin, and because of His love, God literally tells me in His word that~my sins are sealed up in a BAG! And He SEWS up ALL my iniquity. Job 14:17 My name is on that bag. Sealed up and forgiven for eternity. He knows me. He loves me. He cares about me. Not because of anything I have done, but because of everything He did for me. “Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.” Psalms 91:14 “Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.” Isaiah 43:1b “...for thou hast found grace in my sight, and I know thee by name.” Exodus 33:17b I deeply want my orders to be beautiful to those who request them. A treasure. Yes, I am a bag lady~ and my longing is that everyone would see the sin our hearts hold, but not only that~ to truly see your heart as God sees it, through the love of His Son, repenting and requesting God’s precious gift this holiday season. Your own name, written in God’s book of life. Revelation 20:12&15, 21:27. Your own bag, your sins sealed up, never to be remembered again. Job 14:17 A home in heaven. John 14:1-3 That’s the gift I wish for you to receive. The beautiful gift God has given us. John 3:16 A treasure that surpasses any you have ever known. All in a bag. “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that fail not. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Luke 12:32-34
9/6/2018
I Once Was BlindI ONCE WAS BLIND
We were away from it all. No traffic, no street lights~ Only the moon and stars. Four little grandkids asleep for the night. We turn off the lights. Complete darkness surrounds me in this remote place. My eyes can not adjust~ the eyes that just witnessed their beautiful faces~ Before the darkness came. My heart cannot imagine living in darkness like this as a constant. Never seeing that beauty again. Or perhaps being born in darkness~ Never knowing the beauty of God’s creation all around me. Even now as I write I can picture it, because my eyes have seen it. The majesty of mountains and trees, rainbows and sunsets. The glory of oceans and sand, fields and flowers. The brilliance and beauty of the sun’s beams shouting out behind ominous thunderclouds. I cannot imagine never knowing color. Not even understanding what the word color means. Breathtaking hues of falling leaves that paint the world, pure whiteness dropping delicately from heaven, bright pinks and yellows, greens and purples that burst forth from the cold barren earth in spring, the crystal blue of oceans that meet and melt into the sky. Colors of God’s creation everywhere, except to the eyes that see only darkness. Except to the heart that has never known that beauty and therefore, cannot even imagine it. It is too hard for my mind to even comprehend. My heart becomes eternally grateful to God for the beauty He has allowed me to witness my entire life and sober at the thought of the awful reality some live with in such darkness. It moves me to tears as I think that once my heart was like that darkness~ Before Jesus. That blindness? That was my sin, your sin, and it was far worse than the dreadful reality of living in blackness and never knowing beauty. Far worse~ Until Jesus. My heart and eyes were opened to the beauty of His gift, His life. For Me. And that beauty shines upon my life daily~ Because of Jesus. As beautiful as God’s creation is to me, Jesus is far more beautiful. He is color to my fallen world, He is pure whiteness covering my darkness. He is new beginnings to a heart that was barren. He is incredible joy and brilliant beauty shouting forth through the ominous thunderclouds of life. Before Jesus. Until Jesus. Because of Jesus. My blindness is gone~ Because~ He is my light. “And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.” Psalms 90:17 “Give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name; worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.” Psalms 29:2 “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9 “For thou wilt light my candle: the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.” Psalms 18:28 “The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up.” Matthew 4:16 “Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” John 8:12 “But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:” 1 Peter 2:9 “The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined.” Isaiah 9:2
7/17/2018
All The World Was WaitingALL THE WORLD WAS WAITING I was sitting in the waiting room alone. The pager was on my lap and I began to wonder if its batteries were even working. I hadn’t heard a word in over 2 hours, going on 3. One of my children was in surgery. It wasn’t life threatening, but any type of surgery our children have, especially under anesthesia, can be scary to a mama. My phone battery had died, so all I could do was sit and watch and wait. I listened to all the different stories people were telling. Some small talk, some large tales, some praying. It was a rather loud waiting room but to me it seemed like a distant murmur. All I could think about was my child. I looked down at the pager again. Each time the door opened and a nurse came out my heart got anxious, but each time they weren’t there for me. Finally the Surgeon came out and told me he was finished. All was well. My heart was relieved. When our children have to endure pain, it is heart wrenching and when they have to endure something that is life threatening it’s almost unbearable. My human heart can not comprehend the unbearable and heart wrenching emotions of God my Father as His precious Son was tortured, then hung on a cross. To listen to the distant murmurings of a sinful world that watched and to wait in anguish for the words “It is finished” but instead to hear your precious child ask you- “if it’s ok, could you not allow me to go through this suffering?” Can you imagine your child asking this of you, and then having to turn your back on them? I can’t. As I looked around that waiting room, I know that I could not have allowed my child to die that day for even one of those people. But I’m not God. I couldn’t imagine the surgeon telling me my child was gone. But I’m not God. I can’t imagine the love my Heavenly Father had for a world that was waiting. A love that made Him think of everyone and turn His back on His Son. I’m not God, but I’m so thankful HE IS. Christ was there for me and when He spoke the grace filled words “It is finished” it was to the relief and redemption of the sinful hearts of all mankind. I can’t fathom that kind of love. I’m so thankful HE IS love. When I was able to finally see my child after surgery my heart was filled with joy and when God the Father was able to look at our sinful hearts through the love of His only begotten Son, it filled the entire world with joy. HE IS our joy. It is finished. It wasn’t the end that day those words were sproken, it was only the beginning. Three days later God’s precious Son rose again to live in the hearts of all humanity, if we only invite Him in. We don’t have to wait any longer. Three days later became the happiest day of all mankind. HE IS my Savior and HE IS alive! I am so thankful HE IS!
6/12/2018
This Place Called HomeWhen my kids were little, I used to have chore sheets for each of them. Every day after school they were required to do their specific chore and then mark it off the list. Some days would be good days. Happy moods. Willing hearts. Other days would be~ I. Hate. These. Stupid. Chores!Why can’t we just play outside with our friends and have fun?. At times I believe this is how many adults view God. They think that He is up in heaven with a list of rules they have to obey in order to get His approval. They’re afraid that if they choose God they will have to give up too much. They’re afraid they will miss out on all the fun. They look at church and the Bible as if it were one big chore list. But that’s not God. (1 Corinthians 2:9) There is nothing we could ever do to “earn” our way to heaven. (Ephesians 2:8-9) No rules we must to follow. No commandment we must keep. Church isn’t about rules. God isn’t about rules. He’s not up in heaven waiting to hit you over the head if you don’t mark off your daily chore. He doesn’t have a list of things He demands you give up before He will allow you into Heaven. (1 John 4:8) God is all about love and we desperately need to understand the extent of His love, (Psalm 103:12, Romans 8:38-39) and realize that if we could ever do enough good deeds, enough chores, if we could follow every single rule~ What was the point of His Son dying on the cross for us? God looks at us and He doesn’t see a chore list. He sees His Son and He loves us in spite of our sinful self. (Romans 5:8) All God wants is you. All He asks for is your heart. (Romans 10:9-10) My children had some very close friends growing up. “Best friends”. I truly loved all of them but that love didn’t even come close to the love I had for my own child. (Isaiah 49:15, 66:13) But God~ He loves us AS HE LOVES HIS OWN SON JESUS! (John 17:23) That’s PROFOUND!! It is mind blowing and hard for this mama to even comprehend. Oh my friend~ that’s what you’re missing out on. The love of a Father that would give His own Son for you! (John 1:11-12, 3:16, 4:10&14, 6:35, 1 John 4:9-10) And when we realize all that- we realize that church isn’t about rules. Its all about God the Father and His amazing, unending love for us. It’s Home. It’s a place where we can have child like peace and comfort in a messy world. Where we can be God’s child and rest in Him. My children are all adults now~ but there’s something special that happens when they come to visit. There are no chore lists, there are no rules. There is only love and fellowship with mom and dad. Child like comfort and security, love and rest in the place they once called Home. Won’t you come home today? (Deuteronomy 31:8, Exodus 33:14, Psalm 4:8, 23:4, 37:7, 62:1-2, 119:76, Philippians 4:7)
3/25/2018
Because He Loves YouBECAUSE HE LOVES YOU I married a man whose idea of a fun vacation was being in the middle of the woods in a pop up tent. My idea of a vacation was a nice hotel (on the beach, with a heated pool and room service). But hey, I fell hard for that handsome, rugged man so a few years later when he suggested we go camping, I said sure. I was OBVIOUSLY still in the dreamy stage. Jessica was just over a year and I was VERY pregnant with Andrea. We were camping in the middle of no where. This wasn’t a campground with restrooms, it was the woods with trees~ and the restroom was one of them. Trying to pee when you’re 8+ months pregnant, while leaning against a tree, is almost impossible. But I did it~ BECAUSE I LOVED HIM. When I think about that crazy camping experience and how hard I thought it was, my thoughts go to Mary~the mother of Jesus~who traveled thousands of miles on a donkey and gave birth in a manger. Because she loved HIM. Her Savior. And then, my heart takes me to her Savior~MY Savior. He left the immense majesty of heaven and all it’s glory for us~ BECAUSE HE LOVES US. He was born in a filthy cattle stall in Bethlehem~ BECAUSE HE LOVES US. He died a horrible death for me, for you, and He wants to be born in your heart~ BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU. Jimmy Pena put it beautifully. He wrote~ “Isn’t that what we want? For our hearts to be His Bethlehem? Born in us? When you and I walk into work or school or the gym... when we make dinner for the kids or visit a neighbor, we hold Him. We’re His Home on earth.” What better time than the week before Easter to be reminded of Christmas? So, my reminder to you for March is this~ Jesus our Savior, born for us. Don’t let a day go by this week, or this year, that you neglect to thank and praise Him for His amazing gift and for His home in your heart. BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU~ that beautiful, powerful name is the priceless, precious gift of Christmas that we should be thankful for every day of the year. ~~You didn’t want heaven without us, so Jesus you brought heaven down.~~
2/21/2018
We Have This HopeIt was late and a school night. Everyone was tired. As my grandma straightened the blankets one more time, I noticed her hands lingered a little longer. Everyone kissed grandpa and walked out of the room and down the cold, sterile hall toward the elevator. I watched them walk ahead of me but something made me stop, so I turned and walked back into his room. He was sleeping and I wasn’t even sure if he could hear me, but I took his hand and whispered~ ”I love you so much grandpa”~then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. I don’t know what made me do it, but I’m so glad I did. The next morning I woke to the phone ringing and my grandma’s sobs. I was a sophomore in high school, but I pulled the covers over my head and I cried like a baby. Losing a loved one is so hard, it doesn’t matter how old you are. Everyone’s heart breaks. He was my grandpa, my mom’s dad, my grandma’s husband. So many emotions and memories wrapped up in each one of those titles. My personality is the type that makes me want to run away and hide from the world when faced with tremendous heartache. But that doesn’t make it go away, and heart ache returns~ again and again. Even my wedding album reminds me of how often heartache has come for a visit. In one particular picture, 8 out of 15 of our family members are no longer living. Death has taken them. It is no respector of persons or titles, days or hours. Can we ever avoid this pain that is almost unbearable? We honestly cannot. As a pastors wife, I hear this question again and again and yet, I have no answer. Inevitably, we will endure pain and heartache, but we don’t have to endure it without hope. That morning, that phone call caused the tears to flow and since that time, many others have as well. But they did not flow for my grandpa, our cousins, my sister in law, my mom, or all of our precious grandparents. They flowed from the emptiness my heart felt for their absence. They flowed for the sorrow my other loved ones were going through. They flowed for the dark and lonely days ahead that my loved ones would be facing, but not for those that had gone home to heaven. And so, my hope is on the Solid Rock. Because of the gift of God’s Son and His death on the cross, my hope is in my Savior. My hope lies in knowing that my loved ones are in heaven with Him right now, dancing to the angel’s music, laughing with loved ones, sitting at their Savior’s feet. No more suffering this world has to offer. Can you even imagine? They can run to Jesus and hug Him any time they want to. And that’s the hope that puts a smile on my face. That hope allows me to face tomorrow. I don’t have to run away. I don’t have to hide. That hope tells me, it will be okay. Do you have that hope? God forbid, if something happened to you, would your family find comfort in that hope? Let that hope be your hope today. Titus 1:2, Titus 2:13, Titus 3:7, Colossians 1:5, Colossians 1:27, I Thessalonians 4:13, Romans 5:2, Romans 15:4, Psalm 42:11
11/11/2017
Whiter Than SnowIt was an unusually cold winter when the former pastor started renovations on our only bathroom. Until Mike was officially voted in, we were living with the pastor and his wife. Our kids were all very young, ranging from 3rd grade down to 2 year old Kathryn. We were excited to finally have a shower installed instead of just a tub, but the fact that we wouldn't have any water in the house for a week~ maybe longer~ was less than exciting. Waking 4 little kids up for school while it was still dark outside, bundling them up and carrying them over to the church through 2 feet of snow got old really fast. Not to mention 'middle of the night' trips due to a weak bladder from giving birth to said children. Add onto that washing hands, bathing in the church's kitchen sink, dirty dishes and diapers and this mom was exhausted. I can still picture it in my head like it was yesterday. The path through the snow that Mike had shoveled. The cold toilet seat in the middle of the night. The sleepy kids stumbling around trying to get their coats and boots on in the early morning hours. The times they thought it would be funny to stomp in the snow daddy had piled so neatly. Their little repentant hearts for messing up all daddy's hard work. The work involved just to get them clean and keep them clean so we didn't have to walk back over through the snow. And when I think about all of it, I can't help but think how very grateful I am that my path to heaven isn't something that I have to work at. It isn't a daily or even hourly chore, in fact there isn't a single good work that I could ever do to be clean enough on my own. Jesus shoveled that path for me when He died on the cross for my sins. He shoveled every past sin and every sin of my future out of the way and made my heart as white as snow. And then He spoke the words "It is finished". My debt was paid. I don't have to keep working on a pathway to heaven. With the simple prayer of a repentant heart, I only needed to accept His gift of the cross one time and a home in heaven became mine for eternity. Yes I still get dirty. Sin is always messy, but when I look ahead at my Savior He is smiling at me with open arms. On my path of life, my Heavenly Father doesn't see all my messy mistakes piled along side me. He only sees pure white snow.
Psalm 51:7
4/22/2017
Listen For His VoiceWithin minutes, the joy of a newborn baby girl was extinguished and fear entered our hearts. The nurses were wheeling my bed up to a room, chatting happily about my new baby and how sweet she was. Mike was standing next to me smiling proudly, when suddenly I knew something was wrong. Hemorrhaging had started. When I became unresponsive, Mike quickly realized something was wrong as well. The funny thing was, I could hear everything that was going on. I remember the nurses panicked voices as they called for the Doctor. I remember being rushed back down to surgery in a large, stainless steel room. I remember thinking that the joy of a new baby would quickly be stripped away from my husband, because I was going to die. In the midst of the panic, I also remember having a complete peace about dying because I knew when I woke up I would be in the arms of Jesus. I remember Mike's voice saying my name. Charisse. Charisse. That's what I woke up to when I came out of surgery. I recognized his voice even with my eyes still closed and it brought me a sense of comfort. Everything would be okay.
This week, as I recalled that moment in my life, I couldn't help but think of Mary in the Bible. So much had changed for her in 3 short days. Her Lord had been honored with cries of hosanna and joy flooded her heart with hope, but it was quickly stripped away when He was brutally beaten and crucified on the cross. She went to His tomb, but He was gone. For a moment she thought all hope was gone as well. She cried in torment to the gardener, pleading with Him for answers and then...she heard Him. Mary. Can you hear Him? Her eyes had been closed. She did not recognize who was standing right before her~until He spoke her name. Mary. Compassion, love, assurance all in one word. Mary. And then, all her fears were gone. When she heard His voice, she KNEW~and her joy returned as comfort flooded over her. This Easter, let us listen for His voice. He died a horrific death for us. He took our sins on Himself on the cross, He was crucified and laid in a tomb~but praise God He did not stay in that tomb. He arose and He wants us all to accept His beautiful gift of salvation. He is calling our names. Do you recognize His voice? Do you hear Him? Let His comfort and peace wash over you, even in the midst of a life that might seem hopeless. You might be tormented. You might feel like your joy has been stripped away and you have nothing left but sorrow. Don't give up hope. Jesus is calling your name. He wasn't just a simple carpenter. He wasn't the gardener. He IS my Savior, the Son of God. He has conquered death and has given me life everlasting. There is nothing in this world that can bring you the comfort that only He can give. Today, this Easter, listen for His voice. He is calling your name. Open your eyes and your heart and know~ everything will be okay.
4/8/2017
A Home In HeavenI'm a huge coffee drinker and can easily down an entire pot by myself, so one year while our family was on vacation in NC my husband bought me my own pot for our room. It stays at his grandparents home all year until we return again the following Spring. Every year I pack up the coffee pot and get nostalgic. It's only a coffee pot but it holds so many memories. It also holds on to the hope that I will see it again next year, along with my many loved ones. It waits patiently in grandma's attic, wondering who will return to the beach house next year and eager to hear the love filled laughter from all the other rooms. But for a year, it hears only silence. My husband's family members have been coming here in the Spring, since he was a baby. His sisters and brother, parents, aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents and now our grandchildren too. We all stay together in one house, every year looking forward to "the beach". When we drive away at the end of our stay, tears are always shed. Sometimes an entire year will go by before we see each other again. I recently read a quote that said "Heaven is a little closer in a house by the sea." Heartache has hit us all during these years. We lost our cousin Alan, and then our precious Amy, Mike's youngest sister. We lost parents and grandparents and our hearts wept. And for a moment it seemed like our laughter turned to silence. But we return and along the way God has brought us new loved ones, new spouses, new cousins and sweet grandbabies who are now so precious to us. We laugh and we love, we have hearts bursting with joy, not just because we have each other, but more importantly because of our great Savior. He fills our hearts with laughter when others might have thought that laughter would never return. He fills our hearts with joy because we know that we will see our loved ones again, just like that old coffee pot. We might not see them at "the beach" house but we have a sure confidence that we will see them when we go home to heaven. That home will far surpass the most beautiful ocean front house there is, and the laughter and joy it's halls bring will last an eternity. An eternity with our loved ones. An eternity with Jesus. I will fill my heart with memories as I pack this coffee pot back up in its box and I will forever be thankful to my Father for sending His Son to die for me. Because of His amazing gift, I will close up that box and know in my heart that we will all be together again.
Grandchildren can be brutally honest. They don't mean what they say in a bad way. They're just stating the truth, as their little minds see it. For instance, the other day my granddaughter Ellie was sitting on my lap and matter of fact-ly stated "I love you so much grandma. You have hair in your nose. You need to clean that out". Boy, statements like that are such confidence boosters 😂 Or the time I was holding little Gabe and he was hugging me and smiling and his chubby little 1 year old hand kept reaching up and grabbing grandma's turkey neck. He just laughed and laughed. Grandma did not. You know what's so amazing though? The things that I think are so unattractive in myself as I get older hold no barring on the love my grandchildren feel toward me. They love me regardless. They love me in my pajamas, with no makeup and my hair thrown up in the messiest (not in a cool way) bun just as much as they love me on Sunday morning all dressed up for church. To think of what comfort this unconditional love brings is such a joy, but it cannot be compared to the comfort we can have knowing the true unconditional love Christ has for us. It doesn't matter how ugly you think your heart is. It doesn't matter how much you feel like you have blown it. It doesn't matter what happened in your past or what is happening right now in your present. At our very worst, when others around us see only the ugly nose hairs of our lives, Christ loves us still. Even as they are shaking their heads and muttering about how we need to clean ourselves up~God our Father, because of Christ's payment on the cross~sees only the beauty inside our hearts and He has compassion. We can continue to fail Him daily, but He will never leave us or forsake us. He will continually grab that turkey neck of trouble we find ourselves in and will whisper to our broken hearts~ "I will take care of that for you." And then, He will restore that brokenness with laughter. I can't imagine choosing to only come into my grand children's presence when I look "Sunday ready" because I know for a fact, I would never see them. Remind yourself of this, even if it's on a daily basis. Don't wait to come to God when you think you are good enough. Come to Him now, in all your brokenness, heart ache and hurt. Bring all your mistakes, all your pain, all the ugliness you might think your heart holds, and let His love wash over you. There is nothing in this world that can compare to the unconditional love of God our Father.
10/15/2016
He Loves Us Still· As most of you know by now, my husband had retinal detachment surgery done back in August. He just recently stopped wearing his eye patch, but his vision has not returned. Praise the Lord, he does have some vision, but it is very distorted. When his retina first detached, all he could see was blackness. Now as he looks at words, he can see the first and last letter but nothing in between. And here's a fun fact, when he looks at me, apparently I look like a funny Snap Chat or fun house mirror reflection. Before our souls are united with Christ, everything seems black. The Bible can seem so hard to understand. Prayer seems like we are talking to a wall. But then, our Saviour heals our hearts when He enters in and the blindness disappears. That doesn't mean that we automatically understand everything the Bible says or that prayer automatically becomes easy. It takes time. It can seem distorted and hard to understand. So, we go back to the Great Physician and ask for help. Mike's surgeon told him last Friday that it was time for the patch to come off. To work his eye muscles so that they can focus and hopefully in time, see a little clearer. That's what we need to do as christians. Take off the patch of "I don't understand", "I don't feel like God hears me", "this seems too hard", etc. and ask your Heavenly Father for help. Ask him to help your focus so that you can better understand his book of comfort, the Bible. It's simply God's love letter to us. Ask for help as you pray. Prayer is simply talking to God as a child talks to a father. We don't know how long it will take before Mike will be able to see clearly out of that eye. It might not ever happen, but that doesn't mean he's going to give up trying. Understanding the Bible may take a long time. Don't give up. I haven't. I learn something new every single day and God opens my eyes and helps me to focus. So...back to that fun house mirror effect. Am I happy that's how my husband sees me? With a huge body and tiny head? Nope~ gotta be honest~not. one. bit. But he loves me regardless, because he is seeing through eyes of love. We can see ourselves as failures, as worthless, as a complete fun house mess at times, but that's not what God sees because God is looking through the eyes of His Son who died for us. What He sees is love. When Mike tells me that I'm beautiful and that he loves me, I tease him now and respond, "you think that because you are blind in one eye and need glasses for the other". God is not blind though. He sees us just as we are and yet, He thinks we are beautiful and He loves us still.
I will never forget the moment my baby Jessica was placed in my arms. The overwhelming love I felt as tears rolled down my cheeks is indescribable. I will never forget my husband's words as his own tears fell~ "now I truly know how much my Heavenly Father loves me." God let our hearts see how much He loved us. I would give my life for my children. My love for them is fierce and if I am capable of that kind of love, the love of God is greater than our human hearts can imagine. When I was in the 6th grade my parents were having a lot of marital problems. One day my mom showed up at my school with all our belongings, picked up my brothers and I and we left my dad and our home without even a goodbye. Eventually my parents decided to try again and realized being in church would help. We began going to a non denominational church and it was here that I learned of God's amazing gift. I learned that I couldn't go to heaven when I died just by being good or by going to any specific church. I learned there was nothing I could do in my own strength to go to heaven because if there was, Christ would not have had to die on the cross for my sins. It was only because of Gods grace, mercy and love in sending His only Son to die for me. It was the greatest gift and it was mine to accept. I realized my sinful heart separated me from God but that all I needed to do was ask His forgiveness. God didn't want me to join a church or give more money or be a better person. He only wanted my repentant heart. I gave my heart to Him and I have not had one day that I have regretted it. More than any other words I could ever post to give comfort, hope or encouragement, these are the most important for you to know. God wants you to have a home in heaven someday. God wants you to receive His precious gift of salvation. If you never have, let today be that day and if you have already~whether it was yesterday or 39+ years ago like me~ don't ever forget that day you met Him, sing of His grace that's still amazing and shout like you've heard it for the first time.
3/5/2016
The God I KnowI cannot imagine my life without my Jesus. He is my Father, my Comforter, my Protector, my Savior, my Friend. He is my Everything. My Jesus is Love. I could not make it through one day without Him. Twice in the past week I have heard references on TV to God as an "angry" God and it brought tears to my eyes. How could anyone talk about my God that way? And yet I am afraid that many people see Him as just that. A God who is ready to strike at the slightest offense. That is not the God I know. The Bible tells us "that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God,which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." He is a Father who loves us dearly and is ready to forgive and have mercy on us, no matter what we have done. God's love is a gift. A gift He wants everyone to receive. He loves us so very much that He sent His only Son to die for our sins on the cross. If we have accepted His perfect gift, when God looks at us He sees only His precious child through the redemptive blood of His Son. I read a quote once that said, "The question is not- why would a loving God send anyone to hell but why would anyone choose hell over a loving God." He gave His Son so that someday when we die, we can spend eternity in heaven. He loves me, He forgives me. I fail Him every day and yet He continues to love me, with no anger but only mercy and grace. I want everyone to know Him as your Father, your Comforter, your Protector, your Savior and Friend but most of all, I want you to know His love for you. If there are any questions in your heart about where you would go if you were to die, or how you can know for sure that you would go to heaven, please message me. I want you to know today that He is not an angry God, but my God who gave EVERYTHING for you and for me.
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