3/8/2024
He Knows You BetterAs I sat crying, I wondered how my mind could be so powerful, and yet so weak. It has the power to convince me of lies, and then the weakness to believe those lies.
Even though I know God knows everything about me, even though I know He knows my every thought, in my weakness I try to be strong. I realized today that I haven’t been an open book with God lately. As I prayed, my mind told me that I should not say “those words” out loud to Him. I dare not complain. I dare not list the thousand and one things that weigh me down, emotionally and spiritually. Because~ “That’s not what a good Christian does when they pray. Certainly God doesn’t want to be bothered with my petty problems, or pain from the past that I so easily succumb to.” You know me. I’ve written several posts about pouring your heart out to God. I have an easy time bringing all the big things to Him in prayer, but sometimes I don’t think to bring Him all the little things as well. And without me realizing, the little things continue to pile up on top of the big things. Suddenly I feel buried. Somehow I convinced myself that I shouldn’t expose my humanness to Him. He would be so disappointed. I have to push those thoughts aside. I have to fight the good fight. How silly of me. How weak of me to think I somehow have that power to hide those thoughts from God. I may not express them, but He knows every single one of them. And so, today I told him ALL of it. As each thing came to mind (and there were A LOT of “things”), I talked to Him about it. At times, I felt like a failure. So weak. How did I get to this place? This place of melancholy and lack of joy. This place of feeling burdened, misunderstood and alone. My heart already knew how. Because I never talked to Him about it to begin with. I just kept “trying”. Trying to be good in my own strength. Trying to tell myself that this is not how a Pastor’s wife and christian blogger should think. “Trying” in our humanness is pride. Pride because somehow we think we can do this life without God, even if it’s a life that we think honors Him. Without Him, we are nothing. And ladies, today as I poured out my heart~all my failures, all my thoughts, all my weaknesses and selfish motives and all my fears~ God was with me. He sat with me as I cried, and His word reminded me that He already knew all of my heart before I ever chose to reveal it to Him. He had been waiting for me to do just that. And once I did, my heart felt free. Through the tears I praised Him. I praised Him for never giving up on me. I praised Him for saving my soul. I praised Him for all the blessings in my life. I praised Him for listening and loving me. I praised Him for the peace that came over me and the joy that He restored. I praised Him for always giving me a word from His word, exactly what I need every single time. I praised Him for His grace. Ladies, don’t ever be embarrassed to talk to God. Don’t ever think you have to have it all together before you can come to Him, or that somehow you have to hide your true feelings as you talk to Him. We might not always know how to process our humanness and the emotions we are feeling, but God does~ so why do we even try to figure it out on our own? He knows you far better than you know you. Cast all your cares on Him, never forgetting how very much He cares for you. His grace will always, always be sufficient for exactly what we need. SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 38:8-10, 15 Psalm 39:7 Psalm 40:1-3, 5, 16 Psalm 55:22 Psalm 116:1-2 Psalm 139:1-12 Matthew 11:28 1 Peter 5:7 2 Corinthians 12:9 Galatians 5:1 Isaiah 58:6, 8-9 John 15:4-5, 11
3/1/2024
Please BewareEvery single day I have to block fraudulent profiles on my Holding Hope page. They usually attach themselves to someone else who has already commented on one of my posts, and seek their “friendship” with kind and inviting words. Their profiles always look professional, and quite often they pose as men in the military or medical field. They prey on women, hoping to catch someone unaware of who they really are. They appear to be one thing, but are completely the opposite. Please beware~
They aren’t your friend. They don’t want to be your friend. They want to steal your identity and destroy you. I couldn’t help but see a comparison. Scripture warns us that Satan is subtle and goes about sneaking and seeking. He gets into our heads. He lies, accuses, corrupts, destroys and steals~all while looking like an angel of light. He preys on our weaknesses, and once he has gotten into our heads he has us believing all his lies. ◦ Lies about relationships and loneliness: telling you that you will always be alone. ◦ Lies about insecurities, comparison and jealousy: she’s better, smarter, prettier, happier. ◦ Lies about social media: convincing you that this is what life is all about, this is what life should be. This is the life you will never have. ◦ Lies about self pity: no one cares about you. No one sees how hard you work. Your life is so hard. ◦ Lies about your job. ◦ Lies about your pride. ◦ Lies about what other people think. ◦ Lies about your spouse and your marriage. ◦ Lies about your church. ◦ Lies about your life. ◦ Even lies about Christ. What is a Christian to do? How can we possibly fight this? If Satan is that subtle, how will we even know what is a lie and what is truth? And that’s why week after week I post scripture. I cannot emphasize this enough~ my words cannot fight off the lies~ but God!!!! His words are power and we HAVE TO KNOW them!! We overcome when we continually draw nigh to God, by the blood of the Lamb, Christ Jesus our Savior. By the testimony of others. By God’s grace. By the power of Christ. By faith. By being rooted and grounded in His love. We overcome by acknowledging God in every single decision, by asking the Holy Spirit to shed light in our hearts and by being strong in the Lord. How do I know this? Because God’s word says so! I reminded you last week that the Christian life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. It’s a battle. We have to know who our enemy is but more importantly~ we have to know who GOD is. Let me tell you just a few of HIS truths: ◦ You’re never alone ◦ You’re eternally loved ◦ You’re who God created you to be ◦ EVERYTHING we need is written in HIS word ◦ Our identity is in Christ ◦ He is our all in all Please beware~Satan wants to steal your identity. He will sneak into your thoughts, comments and actions, all the while telling you lies you carelessly believe. That fraudulent friend request will continually come. Satan will never stop until we are at home in heaven. Every single day, every single thing we need is in Jesus, the Son of God. Hold tight to that truth, rooted and grounded in the love of your Savior, Redeemer, Comforter and Friend. Our God who gave us eternal life. Our God who cannot lie. Seek wisdom and discernment through His word. In all your ways acknowledge Him. His light will not only show you the lies of the enemy, His light will show you the truth. The truth that only comes from the truest Friend. SCRIPTURE READING: James 4:4 James 4:6-8 Proverbs 3:5-6 2 Corinthians 4:4, 6, 8-10 Ephesians 6:10-13 Revelation 12:9-12 2 Corinthians 11:3 John 10:10 John 8:44 2 Corinthians 11:14 1 Peter 5:8-9 Hebrews 13:5-6 Deuteronomy 31:6 Jeremiah 31:3 Ephesians 2:10 Psalm 139:14 Galatians 2:20 Romans 8:37-39 Colossians 3:1-2, 23-24 Galatians 6:3 Romans 8:14-17 Ephesians 3:17-19 1 Corinthians 15:28 Psalm 119 John 15:14-16 Zephaniah 3:17 Titus 1:2-3 Colossians 3:16
10/13/2023
Flaws And AllI have been reading God’s word since I was 12 years old, but I can remember my mom reading me Bible stories before I was ever in school. When I was younger, I used to think that the people God used were all flawless heroes of the faith. The older I get, the more my perspective has changed.
The ladies at my church are doing a Bible study right now on Women of the Bible. When you study 5 women each month, it really opens your eyes. God has taught me so many truths through this study. One that has stood out to me over and over is this~ throughout history He has used imperfect women to accomplish His perfect will. Women just like me. Women just like you. And that gives me so much hope. Homemakers and working women, servants and queens, teenagers and elderly, women of ill repute, and women immersed in the work of the kingdom. He never asks them to become someone they are not. He redeems, He indwells and He provides. He uses each one with their unique personalities, flaws and all. And that prompted my thoughts today. God doesn’t want us to change our personalities to fit a cookie cutter mold of what the world thinks we should be, and He certainly doesn’t want us to change our personalities to a cookie cutter mold we THINK christian women are supposed to be. He wants us to be what His word tells us to be. He wants us to be us. He created us exactly the way we are, and He wants to use our unique personalities for His glory. God created me with an introvert personality. I am a housewife and a homebody. And I love it. That is who He made me. He doesn’t want me to try harder to be an extrovert, or be disappointed in myself for not having a prestigious 9-5 job. There will be times that He asks me to step out of my comfort zone to better glorify Him, but He never requires me to be someone else. Here is the thing I want you to get~you be you, not some version of what the world tells you to be. My friend sent me a very revealing quote a few months back, and I’m just going to drop it right here because it says SO MUCH. "We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving. We pride ourselves on getting as little sleep as possible and thrive on self-deprivation. We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins. We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We never want to be as passive-aggressive as our mothers, never want to marry men as uninspired as our fathers. We are the daughters of the feminists who said, 'You CAN be anything,' and we heard, 'You HAVE TO be everything.'" Courtney Martin We continually hear the shouts telling us that we HAVE to be everything and if we aren’t, then we are flawed. Sometimes those shouts come from within us. You don’t have to BE EVERYTHING my friend. You just have to be you. All of that stuff, that’s what the world is constantly screaming at us. But that’s not what God is whispering to our hearts. Let’s examine ourselves ladies. What are we passing down to the next generation? Because sometimes I believe we all are hanging on by a thread, instead of the hem of HIS garment. Do we really want our daughters and granddaughters to be the ones with all the issues wrapped up in that quote, or do we want them to be themselves~walking through each day with Jesus and wrapped up in Him~being exactly who HE made them to be. We are being the example that they see. We are teaching them with our own behavior. Are we always too busy? Are we always stressed? Are we trying to be too serious, too relentless? Are we too judgmental of ourselves? Are we even being ourselves? Are we happy? Truly happy? Can we be silly, and laugh, can we play and have fun, or are our busy lives consuming our every waking minute? Is your life the life you wish for your daughter? And so, I will repeat what I wrote last week- Who am I? I am crucified with Christ, yet not I, but Christ. I am me, the introvert, shy, wife, mom, grandma, pastor’s wife, homemaker and blogger. Exactly the person God created me to be. And my constant prayer will be that the life I live isn’t the life the world is screaming it should be, but it’s the life I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I pray all our lives can exemplify this to our daughters and their children. I want to encourage you to always use the unique personality God gave you to glorify Him in every single thing that you do. That is my own prayer~ A flawed hero of the faith. Just by being me. SCRIPTURE READING: Galatians 2:20 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 Romans 12:1-8 2 Corinthians 8:11-15 Why does life feel like a chore to me?
That was my first thought the other morning. I was tired before I even got out of bed. Not wanting to escape the warmth, I laid there thinking back to a time when I used to wake up excited about the day ahead. What happened to that girl? I thought I had it all figured out. I told myself there was just too much on my plate. Too much busyness. Too much weariness. My mind felt like there were a thousand things going on all at once, and I couldn’t make it stop. I wanted it to stop. It was exhausting me. How do I find myself here again? I don’t know how many blog posts I’ve written on this subject, and yet I fall prey to its defeat again and again. Google tells me we have anywhere from 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day. We have 6-7 thoughts per minute. 95% of our thoughts are repetitive, and 80% are negative. Why is that? What feeds that negativity? The world tells me busy is better. It chides me to do it all. I work part time from home. I also have a stitching business. I over stress trying to be a good wife, mom and pastor’s wife. I hold Bible studies and ladies meetings. I schedule and teach and study and pray. I write a blog and run a Facebook page. I create more content, to gain more followers, to encourage more ladies, to have more hope. But somehow along the way, I continually seem to lose my own hope under a pile of busy. And that’s when the devil tells me that I am failing. He convinces me that I don’t want to be a pastor’s wife with ministry responsibilities, I just want to be a plain old wife. I don’t want to create posts or write a devotional every single week. I just want to scroll and be fed by someone else. I just want to be me. I just want to not have to think. And I will be honest ladies, that morning I told God ALL of that. I tried telling Him that I am a homebody, an empathetic introvert who wears other’s heartaches on her sleeve. “Don’t you know this is all too much for me?” I asked. As if He doesn’t know me. And that’s when the Holy Spirit revealed to me that my thoughts had gained control over my heart. My busy schedule and commitments overwhelm my soul. What “new” message of hope I can give to my followers constantly captures my thoughts. The heartache of others is continually on my mind. I find myself thinking about ALL of these things more than I think about GOD Himself. In fact, I’m sure it would be safe to say that 80% of my thoughts are “busy” thoughts, maybe more. That means only 20% of my thoughts are being still with God and thinking about Him. And therein lies the problem. Life has become a chore because I’m not dwelling in His presence and it’s only in His presence that there is fullness of joy. I am trying to be God, instead of resting in Him, surrendering all my thoughts, and days, and moments to Him. I was “taking the yoke”, but I forgot about the “learning” part. That morning Jesus told me~”Take my yoke upon you and LEARN of ME. If you do this Charisse, you will find rest for your soul.” When will I learn? Probably never, this side of heaven. But I sure am thankful for a God who doesn’t give up on me. His mercies are new every morning. The busy won’t ever stop. Life is filled with it. It will continue to pile up, but instead of being under that weight~ we can be on top of it, if we will just learn from God. What have I learned? Here are just a few takeaways~ *To wake up and rejoice before I get out of bed, thanking God immediately for the day ahead, and all He has blessed me with. *Pray about everything, all day long. If a thought comes into my head and I start trying to figure out my own solution, I’ve got to stop. I have to pray about it, because let’s be honest~ God’s solutions are so much better. When I do this continually it helps me to cease from “Charisse’s” works and focus on God. That’s when I find rest. *I meditate on God’s words throughout the day. When I think on God’s words, it pushes the busy right out of my brain. My thoughts are on God, and His peace tells me that He is in control and will take care of whatever has me stressed, anxious, heartbroken or fatigued. His words comfort me and He calms that storm inside my head. *Learn from Jesus. He continually got alone with God. The insurmountable love and burden for a sinful, fallen world was completely on His shoulders and yet, He took the time to rest and be still with His Father. Imagine if our repetitive thoughts~ the ones that take up 95% of our waking moments~ were transformed to think about God and His promises to us? He wants us to rest, but that doesn’t mean He wants us to stop. That voice that’s telling you to quit is from Satan. God’s voice tells us~ Be still. He is God. We are not. Life isn’t a chore. It’s a blessed, joy-filled opportunity to be about our Father’s business. Google might tell me otherwise. The world tells me “I” have to do it all. The devil tells me that “I” am not cut out for the ministry and convinces me that~”I just want to be me, plain old Charisse”~ but GOD… Who am I with God? I am crucified with Christ, YET NOT I, but Christ… In the multitude of my thoughts within me, His comfort delights my soul. SCRIPTURE READING: Philippians 4:4-9 Matthew 11:28-30 Jeremiah 6:16 Psalm 46:10 Hebrews 4:9-12 Psalm 16:7-9, 11 Lamentations 3:22-24 Galatians 6:9 Romans 12:1-2 Galatians 2:20 Psalm 94:19 Let’s think outside the box today. What is your enemy/enemies?
Notice I did not ask “who” your enemy was. Quite often we find ourselves in circumstances beyond our control. Those circumstances cause our hearts to be heavy and our thoughts to spiral, so we look for things to blame for those circumstances. A person that hurt us. A health problem. A financial scare. Watching those we love suffer. Such has been my case for the last few months. My adult children have been suffering, and I’ll be honest~it’s been way too hard. Anxiety and sleeplessness have prevailed. Countless tears have been shed. It’s been discouraging and frightening. It’s been physically and emotionally draining. It’s been me trying to blame the circumstances and problems for all the emotions I just listed. The reality is, the problem has been in my head. The multitude of thoughts within me have been on the problems instead of God’s promises. I realized that this morning. My reading was Psalm 1-8. Very familiar passages. Because I have read these chapters so many times, I actually had the fleeting thought that they would not bring me the comfort I was desperately needing today. But just like God always does, my eyes were opened once again. Let me break it down for you. Psalm 1:2~’His delight is in God’s word and he meditates on it day and night.’ I immediately realized I have been meditating on the darkness my kids have been walking through, and trying to somehow find a way to fix problems or bring them comfort, instead of meditating on God’s words and leaning on them. Psalm 3:1&2~’There are so many that trouble me, rise up against me and convince me that God will not help.’ So often when we read the Psalms, particularly verses like these, we think of physical people. Here is where I want you to think outside the box. What if you added~ Many “thoughts” trouble me. Many “thoughts” rise up against me. Many “thoughts” convince me that God cannot help. Because~ isn’t that the truth? God tells us over and over again that He loves us. He will help us. His plan is for our good. He will never leave us. But we let the enemy, our thoughts, convince us otherwise. *Our enemy called discouragement. *Our enemy called fear. *Our enemy called sadness. *Our enemy called unbelief. *Our enemy called hard. *Our enemy called anger or loneliness. *Our enemy called tired, depleted and empty. *Our enemy that tells us we can’t do this. We can’t go on. That it’s hopeless. Psalm 3:3~’But’. I’m so thankful for that little word, because it brings hope. ‘But God. God is our shield, our glory and the lifter up of our head.’ This verse really struck me. My daughter just had a baby girl 2 weeks ago. As my husband was holding her, she kept trying to hold her head up to look at him. We were amazed at the strength she had for only being 2 weeks old, but eventually her tiny self could not keep up. She let out the sweetest little cry and then she just laid down against my husband and in all that coziness, she fell fast asleep. You know where I’m going with this. When my feelings tell me that things will never look up, God literally just told me ‘He is the lifter up of my head’, not me. He is my strength when my tiny self has no strength. And then… Psalm 3:4&5~’I cried to God and He sustained me and I slept in peace.’ It isn’t until I realize all the things above that sleep and peace will come. It isn’t until I cry out to God and realize that it is He who holds me and sustains me and that I cannot do it myself, that I can lay down against Him and in all that coziness, rest in His peace. Psalm 3:6&8~ And that’s when I realize that ‘I don’t have to be afraid of ten thousand thoughts’ that enter this mama’s mind and fight against me. Because God is my strength and salvation. He is my children’s strength and salvation. His blessings are upon us. There is so much more here~ Psalm 4:1~God gives us relief when we are in distress. Psalm 4:3~The Lord has set us apart and will hear when we call. Psalm 4:4&5~I can be still when I put my trust in God, even when the thoughts creep in and say, ‘Will things ever be good again? Who will help me?’ Psalm 4:6~I know God will. His light will break through all the darkness and shine on me and my children. Psalm 4:7&8, 5:11&12~And God will put gladness and joy in my heart again. Sleeplessness will be replaced with joy. Psalm 5:3~And in the morning, I will look up at God, but things will be different because I won’t be trying to do it in my own strength anymore. He will be holding me.
7/14/2023
Don’’t Let Satan Talk To YouI’m not a morning person. Not at all. I literally wake up on the wrong side of the bed Every. Single. Morning. I think my blood type is “tired”. My body literally screams at me~ “Just let me sleep!!”.
This morning, after not seeing my husband for two weeks (and being ecstatic at his return home the night before), I pour my coffee and he makes a comment. Nothing negative, just a simple comment about the day. I am silent, but in my mind I have a quick, smart mouth response. It’s not pretty. Inwardly grumbling, I turn and walk silently back upstairs. Coffee in hand. In my mind I’m thinking~ “He knows I’m not a morning person. I’m tired. I don’t want to talk to anyone, except maybe Jesus.” And then my heart is pricked. I am a terrible person. After that silent comment, my thoughts tell me~surely Jesus doesn’t want to talk to me. My thoughts have gotten me into more trouble than I would ever care to admit. This reminded me of the other night. As I lay in bed in the darkness, a thought entered my mind. I knew it was wrong, but I ran with it. I knew it wasn’t truth, but I didn’t fight it. I didn’t pray, I just let it take control. It put me in a bad place and I felt utterly defeated. I could picture satan laughing and chiding me~”Gotcha”. The beauty is, no where in the Bible does it say that Satan knows our thoughts. He can certainly place them in our path, but we are the ones who can choose to grab a hold of those thoughts, or fight them off. He doesn’t know whether or not he has won that battle unless consequential action is taken. Even then he cannot read our minds. But God can. This can bring shame, but praise God it can also bring SO MUCH HOPE. There’s so many lessons here. For the Christian who judges others actions, but whose thoughts are far worse. God is so clear in His word on this matter. Pride and arrogance on the outside, but dirt on the inside. God sees the dirt my friend. And He sees all my dirt. All the negative thoughts I have, but don’t say out loud. I’m so thankful they stay inside my head and don’t come spewing out my mouth. I’m supposed to be the “good girl”. Sweet Charisse. Pastor’s wife. I would NEVER speak some of the things I think out loud. And sadly I would never tell a soul some of the places my thoughts have taken me. Here is where the Hope comes in. Satan can plant that thought and his lies in our path. In our human frailty we can either choose to cling to that disruptive thought and let it take over, or we can continually remind ourselves that God is with us ALWAYS. Right in that moment we have the power of God, His Son and Holy Spirit to fight for us and take that thought captive. That my friend is incredible hope. We are NEVER alone in our fight against the evil one. NEVER. The moment you become a Christian, Christ lives inside you. Satan might try to get inside your head, but he doesn’t live there. Jesus does. And here is another bit of beautiful hope. We are human. We mess up constantly. Satan may know our weaknesses but praise God, so does Jesus. Our God knows what we’re going to do. He knows the times we’re going to fail and not call out to him for help. He knows when we’re going to give in and our thought life is not going to be pleasing to Him, and yet even with this omniscient knowledge comes His amazing grace. Mercy and help in time of need. Love. Incredible love. He never turns His back. The times my thoughts are judging. The times my thoughts are sinful. The times my thoughts are filled with worry or fear. The times my thoughts are angry, sad, mean, prideful, wicked, doubting, covetous, self destructive, self reliant. He doesn’t turn His back. And when my heart weeps for the path my thoughts have taken and I allow myself to believe the lie that Jesus doesn’t want to talk to me~when I know He is always there to rescue me and I still push Him aside. He still loves. And He tells me His mercy is new EVERY morning and GREAT is His faithfulness. Satan might come knocking but we don’t have to let Him in. Let us continually remind ourselves that God owns this house we live in and when we reach for that door knob, stop and turn to Jesus. Look at Him and be reminded of that mercy and faithfulness, then walk away from the door. Tomorrow morning when my feet hit the floor, despite what my body might be screaming, I’m going to talk to Jesus instead of allowing Satan to talk to me. SCRIPTURE READING: 2 Corinthians 10:5, 12:9, 13:4 Proverbs 6:16-23 Matthew 23:23-27, 28:20 1 Corinthians 6:19&20, 10:12&13 Matthew 5 Romans 5:8, 7:15-25, 8:28, 15:13 Galatians 2:20 Hebrews 4:16 2 Timothy 1:7 Psalm 42:11, 55:22, 62:11, 103:14, 121:7&8, 136:12, 139:1-18 Philippians 4:6-7&13 1 Peter 5:7 Isaiah 41:10-13 Deuteronomy 31:7&8 Proverbs 15:3 James 4:7 Lamentations 3:22&23 Ephesians 1:19-21, 3:20, 6:10 I Chronicles 29:11 Colossians 1:16 Romans 8:37-39
7/7/2023
I Was Just A KidWhen I was younger, I was teased a lot. Mostly by boys, and not in a good way. Quite often the remarks went along the lines of my appearance. My boyish hair cut and body shape only added fuel to the fire. And even though I was just a kid, I can remember those remarks like it was yesterday, and they still sting…
There are many mistakes I made as a mom. I think most moms end up feeling this way at some point. Even today I worry that I disappoint my adult children, and they see a different mom than the one I hope to be. But one of my greatest regrets is not taking lessons from my own life, and praying specifically for those areas in the lives of my children. Years after the fact, I found out that my own kids went through teasing and heartache when they were younger. Heartache that they never told me about. That knowledge brings the tears. My heart hurts deeply for the little souls they once were. I thought we talked about everything. But then I realized, I never told my own mom about the comments that were made about me when I was younger. I kept them to myself and cried silently in bed at night. I prayed about so many things for my children, but there were so many other things I could have been praying about. My heart is burdened today to encourage mamas with children of all ages to get down on your knees and go to the throne of God for your kids. They are fighting battles from day 1 that we may never know about. I’m so thankful that as I have gotten older I’ve realized this, and as I look back at the struggles I had and the battles I fought, I can now pray specifically for my children in those areas. But their childhood is past. I can’t go back and change it. And even though they were just kids, the memories of all the bad still hold on. Satan has a way of doing that to us. And it discourages and defeats and depresses. So today, I am even more determined to bathe my kids in prayer. I can’t change the past but Jesus can change their future. He can change their outlook. He can give them victory. I don’t think parents can ever pray too much for their children, it is so incredibly important. Prayer is like breathing life into them. But I also remember those early stages of motherhood. When they’re little, sometimes it’s hard to see past the “now” into the future. We pray for things that are relevant. We pray for their salvation or their hearts to remain pure, we pray for their attitudes or their obedience. We pray for their personalities and characteristics, but too often we forget to pray for their minds. Their thought life. We forget to pray for their battles. Perhaps because we only see them as kids, and what might feel like a battle to them seems small and insignificant to us. Because we forget the battles we fought. The battles in our mind that still remain. Don’t forget mom. What is going on in their life right now will remain with them forever. Your prayers can change their futures. Prayers for protection against things that are said and done. Prayers that our own words and actions will uplift and encourage them. Prayers that they will always know how much they are loved by us, but more importantly by God. Prayers that their futures won’t be determined by the wrongful actions of others. Prayers that they will always come to you and share their hearts. Prayers that they will know, they can always go to you and ask for prayer. Because they know you’re a praying mom. Pray specifically mama. Talk to them about the battles you fought as a child. Ask your children questions. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to pray for your them. Don’t spend more time worrying about their circumstances than you spend on your knees talking to God on their behalf. Don’t look back and regret the fact that you missed the battles they were fighting, because they were literally fighting for their future. Cover that future in prayer. So many negative thoughts can be traced back to a childhood memory. Don’t allow Satan to have that victory over your kids. It’s built into a mama’s DNA to protect her children, but too often in the early years we focus so much on their physical well being and protection that we neglect to pray for the thoughts their futures will hold. You fight on your knees for them from the moment you find out you are going to be a mama. Day 1. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. They’re only kids, but they are your kids. Make sure they know they have a praying mama. There is no greater gift you can give your child. SCRIPTURE READING: Philippians 4:6,8 Deuteronomy 31:6 Matthew 22:37 I Peter 5:7&8 Romans 8:31-35,37-39, 12:2 Psalm 34:17-20, 71:18, 78:4,6&7, 94:19, 127:1-3, 147:3 2 Corinthians 10:5 Hebrews 4:12 Isaiah 26:3, 41:10, 54:13&17 Proverbs 3:5-6, 4:23 Ephesians 6:17
6/23/2023
Are You Under AttackSatan knows when the best time is to attack. Each of us have our triggers. Maybe it’s loneliness, or something deep within that no one else knows about. For some, it might be the work place, for others it might be family. For me, it’s the dark of night.
Sharing this is something that I wrestled with. I haven’t wanted to. Maybe one day I will tell the whole story, but for today I will just share a part… During the day time hours it’s easy for me to feel like “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. It might not always be easy to fight battles, but my heart and my mind know what the truth is. I can think logically. I can get in God’s word. I can pray, quote scripture and listen to worship music. But in the middle of the night, when my brain is in a fog and I’m half asleep~that’s when satan strikes. Often. I get up 2-3 times a night. Old age and 4 kids. Always, I stumble into the bathroom. The entire world is dark and quiet, and even though I am half asleep~ thoughts immediately spring up into my head out of nowhere. My defenses are down and I am not prepared for the battle. And it’s a big one. A battle of doubt that wages against everything I’ve ever believed. And it’s scary. And it’s very hard to admit. Today I want to mention some things that have helped me through this. Maybe you don’t have the same issues that I do, but maybe you’re fighting different battles and you feel helpless and alone. Maybe scared. I pray these things can help and encourage you to fight with your everything, and to remember that God is always, always for you. There are no weapons that are stronger than He is, because our weapons aren’t carnal. They’re spiritual and they will pull down the strongholds that battle against us. He will always fight for us. For me, the time of the attacks is what makes them hard. 2-3 times, night after night. Let’s be real here, in my sleepy state I am not going to do a Bible study on the toilet in the dark. I’m not going to blast worship music and wake up my husband. Quite often I just want to go back to sleep, and I’m not thinking logically. So, what’s a person to do in that situation? Be prepared ahead of time. Here are some things that can help you with your battle, especially when the attack hits you out of nowhere. 1. Remember. It doesn’t matter what the situation is or where you are, you can remember the goodness of God on your life. In the past, in the present and in the future. If Jesus is your Savior, you will one day be in glory with Him. That alone can help sustain us. So when that attack happens, and it will happen, start thanking and praising Jesus for EVERYTHING. Every single thing that comes into your heart and mind. Remember our God of the Bible. He is your God too. Remember His faithfulness. Recall it. Say it out loud. Remember. 2. Read. Stay in God’s word and hide it in your heart. When an attack happens, you don’t have the luxury to say to Satan- “Can you hold on a minute while I get out my Bible and look up some verses?” Know God’s truths. Memorize them and use them to fight against the lies. An amazing chapter to meditate on is Psalm 119. I listen to it on my bible app every single day as I’m putting on my makeup and preparing for the day. Over and over let His words saturate your heart and soul. 3. Refrain. Stay away from things that can mess with your head, ie television shows, music and social media. For me, the things that my eyes (and heart) take in right before going to bed at night can have a huge impact on how my night goes. We don’t realize how much these things can affect us negatively. Every single day we soak it all in~ sadly, even more than we soak in God’s words to us. This is a huge deterrent to our spiritual warfare. The Holy Spirit will show you the things you need to steer clear of, you just need to listen. 4. Rely and Pray. In my situation there were times this was a tough one, because doubt was my battle field. In those moments all I could do was say the name of Jesus. And that is enough. There is power in His name. Did the doubts magically go away at 2am? No. 4am rolls around and BAM!, I’m hit again. But I will keep saying His name over and over. Why? Because of my first two points. He has always been faithful to me and I know He’s not going to stop now. His word is His promise. God helped me in ways I could never imagine. My heart was saying “Lord I believe, help my unbelief.” And He did just that. In amazing ways that bring tears to my eyes. And every night, I remember. Be prepared for the battle. Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks. Prove all things. Hold fast that which is good. Faithful is he that calls you, who also will do it. He will be your Warrior. He will be your Comfort. He will be your Peace. Remember. Read. Refrain. Rely. The battle is already won. SCRIPTURE READING: 1 Thessalonians 5:5-6, 8, 10-11, 16-18, 21-24 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 Psalm 71:18, 77:6, 78:4, 101:3, 102:18, 119, 143:5 Daniel 2:22 I John 5:14-15 Colossians 3:2 Ephesians 6:10-18 Romans 12:2-3 Philippians 2:9-11, 4:13 Mark 9:23-24 John 1:1-5,9, 8:12, 14:18, 26 Hebrews 13:5 Deuteronomy 1:30, 20:4 I Timothy 1:5-14, 6:12 2 Peter 1:12
4/28/2023
DepressionDepression can sometimes feel like a dirty word to a believer.
A few weeks ago I got into my own head and once there, my thoughts spiraled downward. I have some physical problems that left me in a dark place. Nothing life threatening, but two unrelated, painful issues that will stay with me the rest of my life. And that really bothered me. Due to flare ups, I wasn’t physically able to do normal, day to day activities. I couldn’t leave the house for long periods of time or do easy household tasks. I couldn’t even do the things that I enjoy, like my sewing or simply playing with my grandkids. Slowly, day by day the darkness crept in. “Is this it, is this how it’s going to be from now on? What am I even good for? What if I’m never the same again?” I have this picture in my head of what I’m supposed to be as a Pastor’s wife, as a mom. I tend to over analyze my performance in these areas (which is a root of worry over what others think of me, and a sin I tend to battle) Satan knows this, and by the end of the week depression had made a home inside my head. I felt like a huge disappointment, worthless and unloved. All within 7 days. I had no other words and found myself just asking God to please help me over and over, not so much from the physical pain, but from where my thoughts had taken me. I stayed in His word, reminding myself of His goodness and blessings~ but even when we do these things, sometimes the “hard” is still very hard. By Sunday night the tears wouldn’t stop and decided I was going to stay in bed all day Monday because~what was the point of getting up anyway, right? But God didn’t leave me in bed. Even when I was 100% sure that my thoughts were real, He broke through and showed me a different picture. He always does. I have been here before. Times that lasted much longer than 7 days. Over and over again throughout my life, He has delivered me when I was sure there would be no deliverance. Did my pain and physical issues go away? No, but all that darkness in my head did. God used a simple text from someone going through their own darkness, a podcast that stumbled across my path, a song that could’ve been written for me… I listened to the words of someone else who had the same fears I did, who was saying exactly what I was feeling… “What if this was it? What if I’m never the same?” His words stayed with me and I asked myself, “Do you believe God is still good and that He loves you? Do you believe He knows exactly what’s going on and He is in control?” I believed and I whispered to God, “Help my unbelief.” What if my greatest calling now was simply to be my husband’s cheerleader from the sidelines? His prayer warrior and safe haven. That would be enough. Even if I could never leave the house for long periods of time, or pick up my grandchildren or pen a note of encouragement. Even if I couldn’t play the piano, sew or garden, run or simply hand my husband his dinner plate, I knew in that moment that God was still good. And that He loves me. And I suddenly felt freedom from all that blackness that had collected inside my head. It’s scary for me to even share this, to be vulnerable and honest. There is a stigma attached to Christian’s and depression. The thoughts can easily get to me again. Worry over appearing overly dramatic or attempting to seek attention. But I am clinging to that gift of freedom God has given me, because maybe it could help someone else who might be having dark thoughts of their own. God has not given up on you my friend. He is good. He loves you. He’s not going to let you stay in that bed of depression. He’s going to continuously use His words, His Spirit, people and things to pull you out from under the covers of despair. Because He understands. What a comfort and peace that brings! And then, the miraculous will happen. He will use you to help others. Your darkness and deliverance has purpose. He will use you to break through someone else’s darkness. He will use you to share His love. Your circumstances may never change, but there is freedom in releasing that to God, knowing He is good. Knowing He loves you. Knowing you can be used by Him. Suddenly you will no longer see the negative, but all the goodness wrapped up in the words~ YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.
3/24/2023
Change Lives In MeThere are certain things I’ve been struggling with lately. I am ashamed to admit that my perception of people has been a big one. Just this morning I realized how completely messed up my perception is.
I can “preach” on this platform about how “God can change your life” and how “you don’t have to remain the same once you know Christ, because His power lives in you”, and yet… This morning I had a conversation with myself that sort of went like this~ ‘What are you supposed to do Charisse? Past circumstances have led you here. Trauma that sucked the life out of you and left you weak. You can’t help it that you feel this way. The situation is hopeless. It is what it is. Just accept it and live with it.’ Immediately I was convicted. Nothing is hopeless with God. No past circumstances or feelings I might have are stronger than the power of God in me. He can change anything and anyone. And here’s the shocker~ the change starts with me, not with the person I am perceiving to be in the wrong. If I build up walls and raise the white flag of defeat on relationships in my life, I do not know the love of Christ at all, because He did the opposite. He loved the very unlovable. And despite past circumstances in His life~ He continues to love the unlovable… and I am at the top of that list. Do you know why I felt that immediate conviction this morning? Because Jesus lives in me. The Holy Spirit lives in me. God’s love lives in me. And because of all of this… Change lives in me. I thought darkness had a permanent dwelling in my heart, and the perceptions I had were truly hopeless situations. But I was wrong. The past is the past. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. The same power that raised Jesus from the grave is THE POWER that lives in me. And today that light has permeated the darkest recesses of my heart, because I know that Every day is a new day with Jesus and… Nothing, absolutely nothing is impossible with God. SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 51:6, 55:18 Proverbs 19:21, 21:2 Malachi 3:6 Hebrews 13:8 Luke 1:37 Matthew 19:26
7/1/2022
Just Be QuietThere is too much noise.
Have you ever had days or even weeks like that? My brain won’t be quiet amidst the whirlwind of life going on around me. I am a thinker. I love to think on God’s word. I love to think about life lessons He has for me. I love to voice my thoughts to God as I pray. I love moments of quiet with Jesus. What if life isn’t quiet though? Morning until evening. Constant. No time to gather your thoughts or be still with God. I tend to assume that my blog suffers at times like these. I fret. I can’t seem to focus on what I should write about because I can’t seem to gather just a few moments to think, and when an opportunity presents itself, my brain strays and I end up focusing on everything else that’s going on in my life at the time. I find myself wishing for a miracle. I find myself begging God in the late hours of the night to give me a message of hope, but often I strive in my own strength. Trying to think. Trying to push past the noise. The noise hasn’t all been bad. There has been beautiful noise. The laughter of grandchildren. Wedding songs and vows made. The fellowship of extended family. Ladies discussing the study of God’s word. Church services and beautiful old hymns being sung. But then there has been the noise of other things. Things that push past quiet moments and steal away my thoughts toward God. The noise of traffic as we travel. The noise of packing and unpacking and packing again. The noise of responsibility and to do lists screaming at us to get finished before the noise of hospital stays next week. The noise of worry over my husband’s upcoming surgery. The noise of wondering and what ifs. And I just want to stop. I yearn for the quiet. I yearn for God. But my brain doesn’t want to be quiet. This morning I stole a few moments from my day. I turned on my Bible app and I sat and made myself listen to God’s words. I quietly asked Him to speak to me. To speak past the noise. To speak past the whirlwind in my brain. He never fails. Today He showed me the simple passage of the blind man in Mark 8. Jesus took him away from all the noise. Away from the city, (v. 23) and then He touched him. It didn’t happen right away~ that miracle God had just for him. Jesus asked him a simple question. “Do you see anything?” (v. 23) But things were still blurry to the man. So Jesus touched him again, and that’s when the miracle happened. The man could see. In that moment as I read, I knew that I needed to stop talking AT Jesus. I knew I needed to stop asking Him for something to write. Stop begging Him for a message of hope that might help others. I needed my brain to get away from it all and allow Jesus to speak to me. I didn’t need just the right words to share with the world, (Mark 8:26) I needed His words to see things clearer. I didn’t need a message of hope to write for my blog, I needed a message of hope FOR MY OWN HEART. In that moment, I heard His message. Do you see? Do you see me? I am here. It was blurry at first. Like the blind man, the noise still seemed larger than life to me. Like looming trees. (Mark 8:24) I read that passage and then read it again. And then the miracle happened. I could see. So clearly. I didn’t need the quiet. I was the one who needed to be quiet. I needed to look at Jesus and listen to Him. It never ceases to amaze me that I can read scripture countless times and miss a tiny morsel of knowledge that God has for me and then suddenly He touches me with His words and miracles happen. My eyes are opened and I see exactly what I need at the exact moment I need it. The blind man didn’t question God and ask why he couldn’t see after the first attempt, Jesus questioned the blind man. Sometimes we just need to be quiet, stop striving and just listen to God and apply His words to our souls so that are eyes are opened to His truths. Maybe some of you might feel like your life is out of control right now. The noise is deafening and your heart is crying out, but you just can’t seem to focus on God. Let me encourage you today. Stop trying. Get away from it all, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Then, stop talking AT Jesus and allow Him to speak to you. Get yourself a bible app and listen to His miraculous words. Your chaos. Your busy. Your overwhelm and your noise will all be silenced in awe of Him and you will feel His peace wash over you. What do you see? Imagine opening your eyes amidst the chaos that looms over your soul. Imagine opening your eyes and seeing Jesus there. Smiling back at you. That’s the miracle that can happen if you just stop to listen.
3/4/2022
Don’t Stop PrayingIt has been an emotional week.
My dad has been gone for a little over a year and yet, thoughts of his passing have come to the forefront of my mind for no particular reason. At times I can hardly wrap my mind around it. My dad went home to heaven the day after the funeral of one of our dearest friends, who had unexpectedly passed away just the week before. The friend whose birthday would be this Monday~the day before my dads. They entered this earth a day apart and left this earth a week apart. Thoughts of the trials my children have faced, and continue to face have also weighed on me. Thoughts of missing my sister-in-law as I watch her son get married tonight have brought tears of happiness mixed with tears of sorrow. And then, thoughts of the horrors other countries are facing have been a constant, even as I write this. I have struggled with what to post this week. I have prayed and asked God for words to encourage, and yet He has been silent. And I couldn’t understand why. I wondered if perhaps he didn’t want me to write a thing. Certainly I don’t want to post some cliche story that God never intended I share. Sometimes you may wonder why continual “bad” hits you from every direction and God seems to remain silent. Here’s the thing. For me, He hasn’t been silent. He has been speaking to my soul, but my mind was screaming too loud to hear Him. My eyes were focused on the emotions I was feeling instead of on Him. My scripture reading landed on Job this week. I’ll be honest, I didn’t want to read it. I complained. I told God I needed something uplifting, but He knew exactly what I needed. Quotes that I had scheduled a month ago popped up on my Holding Hope page all week, and it still didn’t hit me. Quotes suggesting I pray about what my mind wanders to. Quotes reminding me to keep praying, even if all I have left is a whisper. (1 Thessalonians 5:17, Philippians 4:6) Quotes that told me to just Be Still. (Psalm 46:10) My mind was anything but still. My thoughts were running a marathon inside it. But today in the tiny moments of quiet I had, I prayed again. I finally heard Him. His whispers through the cracks of distractions touched my heart. (I Kings 19:11&11, Matthew 14:28-30) He kept telling me to be still and as much as I argued that I was being still, I knew deep down I wasn’t. So I stopped. I stopped trying to figure out all the answers on my own. I stopped and I just sat. I sat on my bed and I asked Jesus to sit with me. Just to sit there and hold my hand and still my heart. (Matthew 28:20, Jeremiah 29:11) And He did. And He told me to tell you to do the same. How easily I allow circumstances to weigh me down and steal my peace and joy as I wonder what’s going to happen. How easily I miss my loved ones and fall into a sadness I don’t want to climb out of, instead of realizing the comfort and hope of heaven.(1 Thessalonians 4:13) How easily I try to control situations and find myself in continual unrest. How easily I focus on the bad and miss all the good. I miss Him. We’re all looking for hope. For answers. We scroll through social media looking for that quote or devotional that will give us those answers we’re seeking. We even open our bibles, as if a verse will magically appear to answer our “whys”. God often uses all of these things to help those in need, myself included, but sometimes in the looking we are striving in our flesh to find the answers that only God knows. Sometimes the answer is simply Him, and that’s all we need to know. (Hebrews 6:18 & 19) Once we get to the place of that realization our eyes are opened. We see life through Him and in His stillness, everything is changed. We suddenly understand that we don’t have to know all the answers, we just need to be still with Him. (Ephesians 1:18) Don’t stop praying sweet friend, even if it feels like God is silent. He is not. Keep seeking Him in the stillness until His stillness pushes out all the distractions and it is just you and your Savior~ And through faith, you once again see your life through His eyes. The eyes of of Him who loves you and gave Himself for you. (Galatians 2:20, 2 Corinthians 4:17 & 18)
12/31/2021
What Is Your “Because”?It’s going by too fast. Faster than I want it to. Fear of the swiftness grabs a hold of my heart. I try to reach behind me and grasp at it, but it has already moved past me. Time. I want more time. Time with my kids and grandkids. Time with my best friend of 36 years.
What happened to this year? What happened to this Christmas season? What happened to yesterday? I want it to slow down, but it pays no heed to my desires. This year I watched as beloved friends lost their best friends and soul mates, and it crushed me. How could they move on? Is that the reality of what we thought would be our “Happily Ever After”? To fall more in love as each year passes, to grow old together and then to face the heartache of losing one another? Of losing your whole life? And then, the other night I watched as the story of Christmas came alive on television. And the message spoke to my heart. It went beyond the good tidings of great joy to a message of hope for all mankind. A message of hope because of Jesus. Do not be afraid. That message was spoken to Zacharias, to Joseph, to Mary, to the shepherds. The beautiful message tucked away within the pages of Christmas. Do not be afraid. That message spoke to me. I watched the television as Mary, the mother of Jesus, lay close to death. I couldn’t help but think how excited she must have been with the knowledge that her life was drawing to an end. The fear of death did not grip her. She did not try to grasp at the past, because she knew Who was waiting for her. Her Son and her Messiah. What love her heart held for Him. And it humbled my own heart that the love I have for Him does not reach that level as it should. I used to pride myself in the fact that I wasn’t afraid of death, because I had no doubt a home in heaven awaited me. Not because of anything I had done, but because of everything Jesus did for me. As each year passes, the reality of death has changed for me. I realize that there is a fear~not for myself~but a fear of loss. Loss of what I hold so dear. And I do not want to face it. I fear the loss of my husband. I fear the loss of time. Time that goes too quickly. Time that I want back. Death has become so much more real to me as the years go quickly by. If my eyes are not on Jesus, fear can consume my thoughts. But the angels words whisper to my fearful heart over and over again. Do not be afraid. God speaks those very words so often in His word, that it is easy to pass them by. Just like time. To not be intentional in the regarding. The regarding of every minute of every day. The regarding of choosing to truly hear God’s words spoken to a fearful heart. Do not be afraid. If God allows, next year I will be writing words of encouragement as another year ends. Next year. It will fly by even faster. I will look back and wonder where the time went. And so, I will purpose in my heart to let the message of this Christmas season soak into my soul. Do not be afraid. I don’t know what next year holds. So much can change, but God’s words will never change. They will be a constant until I behold Him in glory. I will cling to His unchanging promises as I step into the future and I will choose to believe them. Do not be afraid. Why? Because~ Jesus. When was the last time you laughed?
I mean really, truly laughed, holding nothing back. Laughed until you cried and your sides hurt and you couldn’t breathe? Do you remember the freedom in that? Feeling like just for a moment all the cares of the world were pushed aside and you were free to let go and experience unfiltered joy? (Luke 6:21, Psalm 126:2) If you cannot recall a time like this, perhaps you are living inside circumstances of sorrow, whatever that sorrow might be. Maybe you didn’t even realize you were residing there, until you thought about how long it had been since you laughed in such a way. Maybe you’re sitting in circumstances of your own choosing or maybe you have no control over the sorrow that has enveloped your life. Whatever the case, I don’t want you to be stuck there and more importantly, God doesn’t want you stuck there. A life of being stuck in sorrow is not His plan for you. I’ve looked back at articles I’ve written and realized that I can be a bit emotional at times. When God moves my heart so tremendously, it stirs a deep passion within me to want to share that with others. Phrases I often use are: God loves you so much. God is always with you. God will help you through anything. Allow Him to hold you. Cry out to Him. All of these things are true, but might leave the reader feeling lost and questioning~ but how? And so today, we’re going to start with the first 3 points on our journey through circumstances to joy. I’m going to show you some things that God has used in my own life to pull me out of my sorrow and help me see hope in the joy before me. 1. If you read my Ebook you know that my first point is always the same. The difference in how this point is applied often depends on the circumstances we are in. Whatever the circumstances are, this will always be the most important thing you can do. Ask God for help. (Matthew 11:28-30, Galatians 5:22a) I will never stop asking, even when I know deep in my heart that there are things I need to change. When I know that I should be implementing the steps in this article on a daily basis, but I don’t. When I am too emotionally and physically exhausted to push through and do those things, I continually just talk to God all day long. Even on those days that I fool myself into thinking joy will never come again, so “what’s the point?”~there is one thing I know to be true no matter what~ He will never leave me. He won’t abandon me. He will pull me through this. The Holy Spirit will minister to my heart and comfort me, even when life feels hopeless and joy feels far. God is always trying to help us but too often our circumstances tune Him out. Never stop asking God to help you, even if you feel like He is silent. He is helping you without you even realizing it. (John 14:16,18, Zephaniah 3:17, Isaiah 26:3&4 2. Realize that when you ask for help, the circumstances that follow are God’s way of helping you~you just need to open your eyes to see it. You know what usually makes me happy? Predictable, mundane, day in, day out schedules. Being in control. Knowing that each day holds its tasks and at the end of that day Mike and I will relax on the couch. Maybe we will talk or watch a few of our favorite shows. We will laugh, we’ll go to bed, I will feel fulfilled with what I accomplished that day. I’m that kind of person. I’m a schedule and list maker. I thrive on routine. I’m a control freak. If my house isn’t cleaned up and straightened at night with everything in its place, I can’t relax. I feel uneasy and unhappy. This need to be in control is just as bad as looking at material things for happiness. I’m looking at “the control I think I have over situations” to make me happy and last March when life went out of control and spiraled downwards month after month into continual heartbreak, I lost all control and my happiness along with it. I yearn for predictable and mundane. It’s how I’m wired. The past 3 weeks have been anything but. My dad passed away unexpectedly in October. Working on packing up his things has only been part of the “crazy busy” my life has been. Long days have gone into long evenings right into early mornings and the crazy busy beginning all over again. I found myself thinking I just want a normal day at home. I want to do some laundry, bake some cookies, clean my house, sit in front of my cozy fire drinking coffee or just watch TV! But as I complained about that busyness and thought about my prayer for help, the Holy Spirit showed me that because I have been so busy I haven’t had time to just sit and think. Usually “the sitting and thinking” leads to “the missing and crying”. As my head hit the pillow each night I realized I was so exhausted that I fell asleep quickly, as opposed to laying in the dark crying. And I knew it was God. God was helping me. It might not have been a way I would’ve chosen, it certainly wasn’t an easy way, but it was God’s way and it worked. He knows my crazy, emotional, over thinker brain far better than I do. (Psalm 139:2) Jesus is continually going to God on our behalf and I now wonder how many times through the years I missed the answers to the prayers I had prayed, just because they weren’t the solution I was looking for. (Romans 8:34, Hebrews 7:25) 3. Stop listening to yourself (John 15:11) If God in all His wisdom did not intervene and answer my cries for help, I would be overthinking everything. My emotions are continually telling my brain that things will never change. Because I’m such an emotional person, I too often let my emotions dictate my life. I think all women~ whether they want to admit it or not~ are emotional. Our lovely hormones play a big part in that. When my emotions begin to dictate what my life story is, I start to believe it. I don’t like to admit this, but quite often since my dad died I have been scared. Not scared as in fearful, but scared as in “this unshakeable heaviness and lonely feeling.” Scared as in “this dark cloud of sadness will never go away. I will never see joy again.” The beginning of each day seems to be promising as I open God’s words to me and pray, but as the day slowly creeps by and thoughts bombard my mind, as my emotions kick me over and over again~ I feel as if God is very far away. That scares me. These are the times that we must realize our thoughts are not God’s thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9, Psalms 94:19), Even if we are struggling to believe it, we must go back to point number 1 and talk it out with God. Stop listening to ourselves and listen to what God is speaking over us. (Philippians 3:3) His words are truth, our emotions are not. He isn’t far away. He isn’t there only in the times we set aside to kneel and pray. He is our constant companion. A friend that sticks closer than a brother. A comforter and peace maker. He is the ONLY One who understands with 100% clarity and compassion what our heart is going through. (Psalms 139:1-18, Philippians 2:5, 4:6-7, 2 Timothy 1:7, Proverbs 16:3, Luke 2:10, John 15:11) You can’t simply “choose joy” without God. You can’t wake up and just decide “Starting today, I’m going to be happy” without God. Our strength is not enough. It will never be enough. It doesn’t matter what kind of a personality you have, Satan knows your weakness and he will find a way to steal that joy. Only Jesus is the strength of our joy. Pray about these first few points this week. Ask God to open your heart and your eyes and show you what you’ve been missing. (Nehemiah 8:10) I am so confident in the strength and power of God’s truths and the joy they speak over our circumstances, that I am adding a second post today. Scripture that you can print out and continually read throughout your day to comfort and encourage your heart. You can have freedom from sorrow. You can laugh again~deep, heartfelt, freeing laughter from the depths of your soul. Laughter that comes from unfiltered joy. Laughter that only comes from God and the joy that only Jesus gives. Make that your goal this week. JOY.
7/19/2020
Shining From The Inside OutDo you know how to pray?
I’m confessing my faults here. It doesn’t always come easy for me. I’m not a morning person at all, and I’m not a social butterfly. Two things that really seem to hinder my prayer life at times. I’ve written articles on this before but even after 54 years, I can’t say I’ve got it down. I don’t wake up and automatically talk to God. I’m one of those “don’t talk to me for 2 hours” kind of non-morning people. I wish when that alarm went off I was praising Jesus instead of grumbling all the way to the coffee maker. From the moment I wake up, a thousand thoughts run through my head. The first ten or twenty are usually “I want to go back to sleep”, but then I start thinking ahead about my day and my schedule. I have a hard time just sitting and being still. My hands are always doing something. My mind is always thinking ahead. For me, bible reading comes easy. It’s a task that I am physically doing. Prayer not so much. I am an introvert, a quiet thinker but not a big talker. For some reason I dread even talking on the phone. I’ve heard that women talk way more than men, but in my case my husband must say three times the words I do in a day. And then, as soon as I do start talking to God, my mind begins to wander and I’m thinking of everything I want to accomplish that day. I know that’s not God, that’s Satan trying to limit my prayer life. He knows what our weaknesses are and he knows how to use them against us. When I think of goals, I often think about the account of Moses shining so brightly after he talked to God. Deep down that is my desire. To just shine for Jesus. To just talk to Him so big and so often that everyone knows He is my Jesus. He is my everything. Listening to sermons and reading devotions and going to church can all motivate but having a personal one on one time with Jesus is the only thing that will truly help us get to know God and learn what it means to talk to Him as a Father and Friend. To shine from the inside out. You might be completely different than I am. Prayer might come easy to you but Bible reading is harder. Either way, I hope these next tips can challenge you as you talk to God on a day to day basis. 1. First and foremost, I want you to ask yourself~am I a child of God? I know that I mentioned in my last article that my first tip will always be to ask God for help, but before you can do that~ Do you know if you are truly His child? We are not all “good”. All of us have sinned. We are born sinners. Romans 3:12,23. From that tiny white lie that you told to the murderers on death row. We were all born with a sin nature and can never be good enough or do enough good deeds to somehow make it to heaven when we die. Ephesians 2:8&9. That’s why Jesus had to come and die for our sins. He paid the debt we owed to God for all the wrong we’ve ever done. We have to believe in Him, repent and receive Him to be permanently forgiven of our sins and become God’s child. Romans 10:9&10. This isn’t a “get out of jail free” card or a ticket you hand to God when you die that says “I said a prayer, so I get one free pass to heaven”. This is a true prayer of repentance and forgiveness from the heart that leads to a beautiful relationship with God for all of eternity. John 3:16. If you don’t have a relationship with God, the rest of this article will be of no help to you. If this is something you have questions about, please message me. With all my heart I would love to talk to you further about this. ~So, with that being said~ 2. ASK God for help. If you don’t know where to start, if you don’t know what to say. If you feel like you are talking to a wall and you can’t feel His presence. KEEP asking for help. Every single day. All day. Keep asking. God wants a relationship with you. He wants you to communicate with Him all day long and He wants to help you with this. Pursue Him and don’t give up. Romans 8:26 3. Get to know God better by reading His words. I wrote a post about this that you can read here~ https://www.cbcofcaseville.org/blog/read-through-the-bible A big part of the problem many people have with prayer is that they don’t really know God. You might know about Him but until you open His word and read about His tremendous love for you, prayer will not become real to you. 4. Make it a habit to talk to Him all day long. Prayer doesn’t have to be a special time set aside. Prayer is simply talking to God. Talk to Him, cry with Him, sing with Him. Sit in silence and listen to Him. Thank Him. Prayers of thanksgiving can change everything about your prayer life. I encourage you to read my post about that here~ https://www.cbcofcaseville.org/blog/a-prayer-that-can-change-your-life#comments All of these things are a part of prayer. His presence is ALWAYS with you, so why not talk to Him ALWAYS? 5. Once you are a child of God, nothing can separate you from His love. Romans 8:39, John 10:28&29. You will always be His child but if you know deep down that you have sin in your life, make sure you ask Him to forgive you and restore your relationship. Psalm 66:18. Just like in any relationship, if you have wronged someone, that relationship can’t move forward and flourish until you ask for forgiveness. Now that we got past some basics, here are a few new things God showed me this week about my own prayer life. 1. Quit viewing it as a job, a duty or a mandate and start viewing it as an expression of love. I don’t know how many sermons I’ve heard on the importance of bible reading and prayer. ~You need to read and pray~ has been ingrained into me since junior high. It seemed as if it was almost portrayed as a command and if that command was not followed, punishment would ensue. As the years went by, I didn’t realize I began to view prayer as a duty to God. A job. Something every Christian is “supposed” to do. Prayer can too easily become mechanical. This is not what God intended at all. Think about the person you love most on this earth. Do you ever think about talking to them as a duty? No, that’s ridiculous. We WANT to talk to them. It comes natural because we love them so much. That is how it should be with God. We should wake up excited to speak to Him. We should want to share everything with Him about our day, we should lay all our burdens and anxieties at His feet. He should be the first person we want to go to when problems arise and when overwhelming happiness floods our souls. All because we love Him and all because He loves us. 2. I’ve heard women say that it’s too hard to talk to someone who is not physically there with with them, yet we talk to ourselves all the time. Think about that. Let it sink in. Our inner thoughts command our steps without us even realizing it. Women have thousand of thoughts running through their minds at once. It’s how we were created. Not all our thoughts are good. Not all our thoughts are uplifting. We can beat ourselves up with negative thinking. We listen to our criticizing inner voices and we believe them. Isaiah 55:8&9, Jeremiah 17:9. Why is it so easy to talk to ourselves and to listen to those inner voices, yet convince ourselves that we can’t talk to God or hear from Him? Whenever my inner thoughts start getting the best of me, I have tried to make it a habit to stop listening to them and bring all those thoughts to God. 2 Corinthians 10:5. I talk to Him about everything going through my mind. It’s so much easier to give the burdens to Him. I Peter 5:7. Try this practice the next time your inner thoughts are gaining a negative control on your life. Romans 12:2 3. I’ve read a lot of helpful tips on what to do if your mind wanders like mine does. Things like praying out loud, praying in a room with no distractions, kneeling when you pray etc. What has helped me most is to first ask the Holy Spirit for help, and second to remind myself that Jesus is literally right there with me. I can talk to him so much easier when I picture Him there with me. I can laugh and I can allow Him to hold me as I sob tears of heartache or shame. Because He is right there. Once your mind gets a hold of this truth, prayer is life changing. We are all created different. God knows this. He understands this. Our prayer lives will all look different. There isn’t a magic cookie cutter mold that God expects us to master. God loves you just the way you are and He will love your conversations with Him, because He will know that’s you. He knows everything about you. He knows the deepest thoughts and feelings of our hearts. Nothing is hid from Him, so why not be real and raw when you talk to Him? Don’t try to pray like someone else. Let your prayers be the words your heart speaks. You pray you. And it will change your life.
7/8/2020
Fighting WordsEven though it’s scary, I’m going to be an open book here.
Back in March when this virus gripped our nation, I experienced something I never have before. I’ve had my fair share of depression, stress and even a bit of anxiety from time to time~ especially in situations involving my loved ones. It was always something God helped me get through quickly and easily. But this, this was something new. Fear. Fear and fearful anxiety, and I couldn’t shake it. It seemed to control me despite everything I tried. I would wake up out of a sound sleep with my heart racing for no apparent reason. It seemed to consume me. I felt alone. I felt ashamed that I was afraid. I knew that my mind was getting the better of me. My thoughts were controlling me instead of Christ and I couldn’t seem to make it stop. Some days I would read His words and they would be like a familiar friend. I would feel so close to Him. But then I left my bedroom~ my safe Jesus and me space. Sadly, without even realizing it I had allowed myself to believe that Jesus was back chilling out on my bed while I was fighting continual battles. My mind allowed myself to forget that He was right there with me through every step and every breath that I took. As I went about my day, the cares of this world bombarded me and pushed away all the beauty I held in my heart from earlier in the day. I would fall into bed at night feeling very far from Him and wonder what happened. Why am I like this? There are seasons where my inner thoughts are a continual enemy, fighting against me. Thoughts like- ⁃ I’m so scared. ⁃ I’m so messed up inside. ⁃ If anyone knew what I was really like, they’d wonder how I could even be a pastor’s wife. ⁃ I have to appear to have it all together, even though I feel like a disaster. ⁃ I wish I could be like her. She’s so strong, confident, fearless, friendly.... ⁃ God must be so angry/disappointed with me. ⁃ I can’t even tell my own husband some of the crazy things that go through my head, he’d think I was nuts. ⁃ Why am I so anxious? Why am I so scared? - I’ve got to snap out of this. - How can I possibly help others when my mind is in such chaos? ⁃ I shouldn’t be so scared. ⁃ I need help. These inner thoughts can create a deep loneliness and when my thoughts start to control me, it’s a battle. My heart fighting with my mind. In March my mind was winning. It was a long battle. Whatever battle you are facing, realize you cannot fight it in your own strength. No amount of positive thinking, meditating, self help devotionals or even sermons can safe-step you through this battlefield. It is only through God’s redeeming love~ in the death of Christ on the cross~that you will have the power to defeat your inner thoughts, depression, stress or anxiety. It is only your relationship with Christ that can give you that power. His power. Christ is the only One Who can carry you across your personal battlefield. So today I want to share some tips with you on what has helped me get past that fear and anxiety and what has helped me get through depression and stress in the past. If you don’t remember anything else from this post, I urge you to remember this ~FIGHTING WORDS. Each one of these tips involve fighting words. ⁃ Every day, no matter how afraid or messed up I felt, I asked the Holy Spirit to help me. Day after day after day. I did not give up asking, even when I felt like it wasn’t working. These were my fighting words. John 14:16-18,26, 15:26, 16:13-15, I Cor. 2:10 ⁃ I started a bible plan with an accountability partner where large amounts of scripture were read daily. You can read about that post here~ https://www.cbcofcaseville.org/blog/read-through-the-bible These were God’s fighting words. Psalm 1:2, 119:15-16, 148, Romans 10:17 ⁃ I took one day a week to sit in God’s presence and simply thank Him without asking for a thing. Even when my heart was scared and didn’t feel thankful. You can read about that experience here~ https://www.cbcofcaseville.org/blog/a-prayer-that-can-change-your-life These were my fighting words. Ephesians 5:20 ⁃ I wrote down uplifting promises from God’s word and placed them all over my house. God’s fighting words. Deuteronomy 6:6,9 ⁃ I downloaded the app Dwell https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dwell-audio-bible/id1343917374 (I highly recommend this app) Whenever I am able, I listen to this all day long. It’s a beautiful way to listen to God speaking His words directly to me. It creates a place of safety, comfort and peace no matter where you are. Again~ God’s fighting words. Deuteronomy 11:18a, John 15:11 ⁃ I listen to uplifting music. Music that is centered around Christ and glorifies Him can change your heart in ways nothing else can. Here is an album that brought me much comfort back in March. https://music.apple.com/us/album/hidden-in-my-heart-a-lullaby-journey-through-scripture/464465132 Fighting words. Psalms 104:33-34, Ephesians 5:19, Colossians 3:16 ⁃ And for those times when nothing seemed to help, I literally sat in bed and cried. I imagined that I was curled up in my Savior’s arms, because deep down I knew that I truly was, and I cried and cried. No words came, but I knew that God knew the words of my heart. These were the Holy Spirit’s fighting words. Romans 8:26,27, Psalm 16:11, 56:8-13, 63:6, 91:1-16 ⁃ If you are trying to do life in your own strength, if you are scared or anxious, sad or stressed, if you are trying to be like someone else instead of who God made you to be, if you are trying to work your way into God’s good graces, if you are fooling yourself into thinking that you are too screwed up for God to love you or help you, if you’ve convinced yourself that He is angry or disappointed with you~ then you are basing your relationship with Him on works instead of His redemption. I know because I have lived all of those scenarios. The last time I was feeling this way, going through some hard moments, God pricked my heart to look up the word redeemed and He showed me something that really stuck~ the very definition of redemption. Isaiah 43:1 “Redemption refers to the deliverance of Christians from sin. It assumes an important position in salvation because the transgressions in question form part of a great system against which human power is helpless”. Human power is helpless. I can’t get past that fear or stress, anxiety or depression because I alone am helpless. BUT CHRIST IN ME! Those are fighting words. I am redeemed. He is my power. He will fight for me. He will carry me through that battlefield of my mind right over to the other side. And He will carry you too my friend. Exodus 15:13 And guys, it will change your life. I CAN ONLY WRITE THE SONGS I NEED TO HEAR Can I just be honest here~ I have fear. I get anxious. I don’t have answers to the hard questions. At times I struggle knowing what I should post or how I should pray, and sometimes I don’t think I even know what to think. I’m not strong. I worry I’m doing this life wrong. I’m doing this mom thing, this wife thing, this pastor’s wife thing, this whole blog thing~wrong. I have doubts. Who am I to write anything? I’ve been accused of overthinking. How can I tell others what they ought to think? I get scared. Life is going too fast. The older I get the weeks seem to spiral past me like a movie on fast forward. At times I find myself wishing I could be free of worry and doubt. Free from the overthinking and fear. Free from the “what~ifs” and “should~haves”. And I’m scared that if I share this, everyone will think I’m a little bit crazy. Or a whole lot crazy. No one will want to read the words that I write. God won’t get the glory. But today, as I read HIS words to me, He tells me something different~ He tells me I am set free~ “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death” He tells me I don’t need to feel enslaved by my mess ups. He tells me I don’t need to be scared~ “For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba (Daddy), Father.” He tells me He is my Daddy and I can cry out to Him, day or night because I am His child~ “The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: “ He tells me He will be glorified~ “And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” He tells me He is always there to help me, when I don’t know what to write or think or pray, He knows~ “Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.” He tells me that everything will work out~ “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” That He is for me, and that’s all that matters~ “What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?” And that nothing that I do or don’t do, nothing that I think, nothing that I say, no fear or worry~~ NOTHING can separate me from His love~ “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?” And that through Him, I will conquer~ “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:2, 15-18, 26-28, 31-32, 35, 37-39 So, that’s what I will think. That’s what I will say. That’s what I will write. That’s what I will post. Because they are His words, and not mine, And that’s what I will believe.
8/8/2018
Lift Your Hand And Let GoThere is a sphere. It continually turns, as water gently cascades across its surface. It sits in a waiting room and when my children were younger, the first time they saw it they were in awe. It was limitless. It was powerful. It was beautiful~yet, with the simple touch of their tiny hand they could stop it all. Without realizing it, we often limit God’s power in every hard situation we face. We compartmentalize what we believe God can and can’t do in our lives. In our messes. In our anxieties, in our fears, in our unknowns and in the world around us. We might hear the trite words~ “God does everything for a reason”. Or~”you just need to pray about it more”. Although meant to be, these aren’t words of comfort. They are often pet answers from a sincere heart that has no answers. Perhaps a heart that hasn’t truly been intimate with God’s power. And we limit God. God can do anything. ANYTHING! Just like that sphere, when our hands interfere and our hearts disbelieve-God’s beautiful glory no longer cascades across our lives and the lives around us. And we ask “why God, why?” And the whole while our sweet Father is telling us-“lift your hand of disbelief away and allow my power and my glory to wash over you. Let Me show you what I can do in your life.” In the waiting. That job situation. That school situation. That hurting marriage. That crying infant. That rebellious teenager. That health scare. That loved one’s illness. That unknown future. I used to watch my children as their tiny fingers touched that sphere and think about how big they looked next to it, as if they had the world in their hands. They held the power to control its beauty. And then, I couldn’t help but think~ My God is so much bigger. The reality of our minute stature hits me hard~ He holds our world in His hands and we hold His power in our hearts. With Him, anything is possible. ANYTHING Lift your hand. Let go. Watch God’s power, glory and beauty cascade over your life and just believe. Just believe. “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,” Ephesians 3:20 “God hath spoken once; twice have I heard this; that power belongeth unto God.” Psalms 62:11 “Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God.” Matthew 22:29 “Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come.” Psalms 71:18 “But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:” John 1:12 “But I will sing of thy power; yea, I will sing aloud of thy mercy in the morning: for thou hast been my defence and refuge in the day of my trouble.” Psalms 59:16 “And they were all amazed at the mighty power of God.” Luke 9:43a “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?” Jeremiah 32:27 “I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee.” Job 42:2 “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” Psalms 55:22 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
7/3/2018
For Women Only***FOR WOMEN ONLY*** I’d just had my first baby only one month before. Between the post baby body and hormones, my insecurities were at an all time high. Mike suggested we go out and do something that sounded fun to me so we packed up the stroller and headed to the mall. It was December of 1986. Baby Jessica decided in the middle of our mall trip that she was hungry and she could not wait. Things were different. Moms didn’t just whip it out in public and start nursing, even with a blanket covering them. So, I went out to our small, cramped car and attempted to nurse fussy Jessica under my heavy sweater and winter coat. Despite the freezing temperatures, the sweat began to roll and the hormones began to rage. The hormones were definitely winning the battle and I started to cry. When I got back inside, the first thing I saw was a full wall advertisement for Victoria’s Secret. Not life size. Bigger. Gigantic, gorgeous, amazon women with perfect hair and bodies. And I lost it. That was the beginning of the end. My insecurities got worse instead of better. I felt fat and ugly after each baby. Instead of doing something about it, I resorted to junk food and complaining. Continual complaining. “I’m so fat. I’m so ugly. My double chin, my small chest, my flabby stomach...” and on and on and on. I was defeated without a fight. And my daughters watched it all. Why do we let society dictate what qualifies as beautiful to us? Why do we allow it to dictate those qualities to our daughters? Why is it so hard to believe that we are beautiful? It starts so young and once it grabs hold, it’s hard to shake. My innocent granddaughter Ellie with her naturally curly, brown hair came home from kindergarten and told me she was ugly because her hair wasn’t straight. Or blonde. It broke my heart. She is so beautiful to me. She is so beautiful to God. How can we change this mindset in our daughters? YOU are beautiful to God. Start believing it’s true in yourself. And that’s where it gets so hard. Many of us can’t. Including myself. It’s a continual battle that I cannot seem to win. With every TV commercial and magazine cover hitting me where it hurts. Ephesians 6:12-18 So you buy books and read articles and decide you’re going to change. And the first week you get up and spend time with God and read and feel the confidence returning. You smile. You’re happy. And then you walk into the mall with your husband.... And you are defeated and complaining all over again. Romans 7:22&23 Your husband sits in silence. He has told you time and time again how beautiful you are to him. He is at a loss for words. But your daughter hears your EVERY word. She thinks you’re beautiful. She thinks you’re amazing. She’s confused. Why is this a continual cycle in our lives? Because society screams at us from every direction and we listen to them and NOT TO GOD. We don’t believe GOD’S words. I can hear some of your thoughts as you read this. “Oh brother. You’re tall and slim. Why are you complaining?” But we all have our trouble spots. We all have our insecurities. Your daughter looks at you and thinks~ “mom you are amazing and beautiful and I want to be JUST LIKE YOU. Why do you complain?” And even sadder, God looks at us and says-“I made you in MY IMAGE. You are wonderfully made. You are beautiful in MY EYES. Why do you complain?” Genesis 1:27 In a way, we are telling God~”you created the world and you saved my soul from eternal damnation, but man~You really missed the mark with this body of mine.” Romans 9:20, Psalm 8:3-4 Shame on us. Shame on me. I’m not condoning being lazy and not taking care of ourselves. It’s not ok to go buy a bag of Lays and a half gallon of ice cream and have at it every time we feel ugly~ because pretty soon, for some of us, that could be our daily diet. It’s actually harmful to our bodies in so many ways and it’s teaching our children that food is the answer. Food is our comfort. Food is our happiness. And God isn’t in the equation. Isaiah 55:2 I Corinthians 10:31 I wish I had started my healthy journey earlier but after my daughter Jessica went to college I decided it was time for change. I started working out. I ate right. I lifted. I lost weight and gained muscle. But when I looked in the mirror I was still discouraged. All that work would not take away the hidden wrinkling, sagging skin that age allows to creep up on us. It didn’t take away my hidden flabby tummy after having four children and a hysterectomy. It didn’t take away the hidden dimples (aka cellulite) I had in all the wrong places or the varicose veins that looked like a road map on my thighs. I just learned how to hide it all. But my heart was hidden too. Hidden behind push up bras, loose shirts and control top panty hose. Why was I hiding behind these things in self loathing doubt and why do I still try to hide? Because I’m not hiding God’s words in my heart. Romans 8:9-11 That’s where it has to start and that’s what we have to keep going back to. Over and over and over. That thought process is very, very foreign to so many of us. We can’t win this battle on our own ladies. We can only win with Christ in our hearts and His power on our lives. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 So this is my journey. ✔️To take care of this body He has given me. To work hard on the things I CAN change but accept the things I PHYSICALLY can not. Matthew 6:27 ✔️To continue to stay healthy, eat healthy and work out. ✔️To tirelessly play with my grandchildren and someday see them graduate and get married. (And maybe my great grandchildren one day too.) ✔️To understand that outward beauty is vanity but inward beauty is EVERYTHING. Proverbs 31:30 ✔️To focus on the beauty of my Lord and continually remind myself that when He looks at me, He sees beautiful. Song of Solomon 4:7, Isaiah 62:3, Psalm 90:17 ✔️To understand that He has made me in HIS image. Genesis 1:26-26,31 HIS IMAGE!! That’s HUGE! ✔️To look in the mirror and choose to be like Christ and not like the world’s standard of beauty. Psalms 17:15 ✔️To trust that God knew about each part of my body before I was even born. He knew about every future wrinkle, every dimple, every sag and every measurement and when He celebrated my very first birth day~ He said “perfect”. Psalms 139:13-17, Luke 12:7, ✔️To teach my granddaughters what beauty really means in God’s eyes. Romans 10:15 ✔️To show them they are strong and can accomplish anything with Christ in their heart and God by their side. Ephesians 2:10, I Peter 2:9, Philippians 4:13 ✔️To know that it’s not about me but it’s all about God. And God’s beauty shines brighter and longer and more magnificent than any wall mural this world has to offer. Psalm 90:17 And that’s all I need to know. Because I am made in His image.
5/27/2017
My Thoughts Are Not Your ThoughtsHave you ever wondered if you were a little crazy? Don't tell anyone, but I have. 😂Maybe it's because I'm a deep thinker. Sometimes that can get you into trouble because then you tend to over think every situation. There have been times that I lay in bed at night and vocalize my crazy thoughts to my poor husband and afterward realize that he must think I have some serious issues. So then I ask him if he does think that I have some serious issues (because I am laying next to him over thinking) and he hugs me tight and whispers "not at all" then rolls over and within seconds is fast asleep. In the mean time~there I lay. Thinking. At times, if we aren't careful, our minds can get us into trouble, especially if you are a pre-menopausal woman like me who sometimes has trouble sleeping at night. All kinds of things can pop into your head and suddenly you are worried about issues you probably wouldn't have even thought about in the busy day time hours. It's at these times that I am so thankful for God's words to me. When the rest of the world is fast asleep and my husband lays next to me snoring~I am thankful that the Bible tells me that my Heavenly Father never sleeps or slumbers. He stays awake with me. He holds my hand and my heart when it frets. When my brain won't shut off and my thoughts become scattered~ again God reminds me that His thoughts are not my thoughts neither are His ways my ways. He asks me to set my thoughts on things above, not on things on the earth and He promises me that if I think on these things; things that are lovely, things that are true, things that are honest, just and pure, that the peace of God that passes all understanding will keep not only my heart, but my mind and all those crazy thoughts inside it. So I snuggle in closer to my husband under the covers and listen to my Savior whisper psalms to my heart and then I drift off to sleep under a blanket of peace that truly passes all my pre-menopausal understanding.
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