I'm married to a man who already gives me scenarios and instructions for when he's on his death bed. A man who reads the obituaries and sees the negative way more than he sees any positive. A "cup half empty" kind of guy. On the other hand, I'm always trying to see the good and the positive, you know~Mike and I at a nursing home, rocking side by side and hitting the big "1-0-0" together. He laughs at me and says he is a realist. I argue and say "with God anything is possible". 😉 So, our first year of marriage when I was 6 months pregnant and we moved 800 miles away from our homes and families, I tried to see the positive. When we were first dating and Mike told me his plans to move out east, I was in La-La land. All dreamy and in love. But then the reality of it all sank in and I'll just be honest, I cried the entire way. All I could think about was my parents and how they would be so far away and what if something happened to them and I wouldn't even be around to say goodbye. I tried to be positive as our little U-Haul turned down a side street that looked like something from a COPS show. I tried to stay positive with each house we passed.... "That one could be cute...Nope. Well, that ones not bad....Nope.....no, No, NOOO, PLEASE... that can't be it". BUT IT WAS. We were moving into a duplex and living on the first floor. The owners were wannabe farmers who owned a flock of geese penned in their tiny, tiny, city backyard, a yard that looked like a dumping ground for old cars. I hugged my baby belly a little tighter. Everything seemed to be a hazy grey. In the two years we lived there they had multiple dogs and cats. A flock of chicks living in their bath tub and a baby calf living in their hallway above us. We had fleas, we had roaches and we had mice, but despite what seemed like the worst, my heart changed for the better while I lived there. I made friendships with those crazy farmers that I probably never would have and this spoiled little daddy's girl became best friends with my husband. To others (including my parents who were worried sick that we were going to catch some crazy disease) this situation looked awful, but God showed me the beauty of it all. My first home with my best friend.
When we look back on that time together, we smile and we even laugh. God knew it was exactly what we both needed. Not only did we learn to leave father and mother and seriously cleave to each other, we learned to trust in God completely, more than we ever had before and once we did, we were able to see beauty all around us.
Despite my tears at leaving home and family behind, as I took my first steps into the duplex that day, I took my first steps into my new home. My NEW family's home. God knew that this was exactly what my childish heart, that relied so much on mom and dad, would need. And in His perfect timing, when He knew that I was ready, He would bring us all back together again. He showed me that my own children had to leave as they got married, to start their own "homes", their own "families". He showed me that it is God's plan for them to be best friends with their spouses first, and not mom or dad anymore, and that was ok and He made sure that my own dad is now living only a block down my street.
At times it can be hard to look past the tears, past the now. At times it can be hard to trust in God and His plan. Hard to let go and give Him complete control instead of trying to control the situation for Him but if we don't, we will be missing out on so much of the beauty that's right in front of our eyes. If we aren't careful we might even be stealing some of that beauty away from our children. Allow your children to experience God’s beauty on their own. Don’t take that away from them no matter how hard you want to intervene and learn to look ahead at the beauty God has waiting for you. In the midst of what might seem the worst, God knows it’s for our best. Because He truly is our Father of miracles, miraculous beauty awaits you if you’ll learn to trust in Him.