You aren’t alone.
You aren’t the only one who struggles in your walk with God.
At times it’s hard to look at pictures of other people’s lives on social media. Posts that seem to dictate how close they are to God.
Pictures that make us wish we were more spiritually “mature”.
I always fall short.
I feel ashamed.
I beat myself up wondering why I go through these seasons of minuscule prayer time and five minute devotions.
I feel ashamed that I’m not praying more for the ones I love most in this world. That I lose my temper or my patience. That bitterness creeps in so easily and my fruits of the spirit seem non existent.
I feel ashamed that I don’t love God more.
I find myself asking how many times God can forgive me for messing up again.
No, you aren’t alone.
No, I don’t have it all together.
I find myself dwelling on past mistakes. Even mistakes from my childhood haunt me.
And I find myself believing how disappointed God must be with me.
For crying out loud, I’m a pastor’s wife.
I write a blog that’s supposed to encourage!
I post quotes about Gods mercy and love and grace, but find myself questioning how much mercy and love and grace God is willing to impart on such a failure and perhaps even hypocrite.
It is hard for me to grasp the truth that~
THIS IS NOT TRUE!
It’s hard for me to wrap my finite mind around a love so pure and a grace so infinite and a mercy so constant.
But my Father assures me that my finite mind doesn’t have to, because His love and His mercy and His grace are NOT contingent on my actions.
They are unconditional.
He whispers to my heart that He will always love me and nothing can separate me from that amazing love and grace.
I am a child. He is my Father. And just like a child, I will always be growing and learning and changing. Just like a child I can become lazy or try too hard to be independent.
And just like a child~
eventually I realize I just need my Dad.
And He will always be right there calling out to me~
“It’s time to come home Charisse.”
“You were never alone. I’ve been here all along. Right here. I haven’t moved. Patiently I’ve been waiting. You are my daughter and there is nothing you can do that will change that.”
And so, I sit and open His words to me. Immediately they speak to my saddened heart of all His love, all his mercy, all his grace.
And I weep with thanksgiving that anyone could love me so much.
No you aren’t alone.
I am right there with you,
but more important
So is He.
And He always will be.
Just come home.