6/26/2019
I Lost The CrossI LOST THE CROSS
I wasn’t riding at a leisurely pace. A strong wind blew as I pedaled. Without thinking, I reached up to pull my tightened collar away from my neck. Even though my bike continued its speed, that split second seemed more like slow motion. My necklace broke and the two charms it held fell and bounced back onto the dark pavement behind me. Two charms that were very sentimental to me. I tried to stop as quickly as possible, but I had no idea how far I had traveled from the actual place my charms had fallen. I lost the cross that had once been my moms and the little diamond pendant my husband had gotten me. The tears welled and I could barely see as I turned back to search.... There may have been a time along life’s road when suddenly, without warning, something inside you broke. Sadness or anger may have overwhelmed you. The heartache may have broken you. And for a split second, you took your eyes off the cross~but that split second turned into slow motion. Your heart traveled farther and farther away. In your despair, as the tears welled, you looked back but could not see the cross any longer.... I went back and searched for what seemed like an eternity. I asked for help in my desperation. Finally, it was found, there in between the cracks and filth of a dirty road. My heart felt such a sense of peace and relief that I almost broke down right there in the middle of the street.... God is always there my friend. He will not move. If you have put your faith and trust in Him, you are His child and there is nothing you can do that can separate His love from you. And once you turn back and seek Him, or perhaps even ask for help in your brokenness~ He will be right there waiting for you and the peace and relief that your heart feels will comfort your soul to its very core. You can never lose the cross. You can never lose the deep love Christ has for you. You can never go too far or be too broken. The long road you have traveled will never be too dirty or have too many cracks. Because His love and mercy, forgiveness and compassion are always constant~ and His cross always remains. “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5 “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
6/19/2019
I Remember DadI REMEMBER DAD
I sat on his porch with him looking at the water. We rocked back and forth in silence for a while. He started to say something but couldn’t get the words out, so stopped in frustration. I knew it was something that bothered him, ever since his stroke. The words don’t come easily like they used to. I don’t call attention to it, and we continue to rock. Every night here on his porch since his hospital stay. I have asked him many questions in the evenings as we rock. I’ve learned so much more about him. Why did it take so long to get to this point? Because my life was too busy? Shame on me. I remember him singing to me when I was little. Songs like~ “Did You Happen To See The Most Beautiful Girl In The World” or “Up Up And Away In My Beautiful Balloon”. The words came easy back then. He had the best voice. I remember that I never had to worry about anything growing up. Dad took care of it. He was a constant. But I grew up. Life happened. Marriage, babies, toddlers, high school, college, weddings, grand babies. Just life. Of course we got together for holidays and birthdays. But not like this. Not in the quiet. Just being together for no reason but to be together. It makes me sad that I could’ve had this all along if I had just put forth a little effort. But we wait until tragedy strikes before our eyes our opened. The doctor gives bad news. We cry. We change, but often it’s too late. The time is fleeting before there isn’t any time left at all. TAKE the time today to MAKE the time to be with your daddy. To enjoy just being with him for no reason at all. To talk together. To get to know him and the man he was. The man he is. Don’t wait until it’s too late. How well do you truly know the man who raised you? I guarantee he would love to tell you his story. Work and friends and responsibilities~ they will always be there, but your dad will not. Go sit on the porch with him today. Just because. Then tell him how much you love him and how thankful you are for him. Every day can be Father’s Day with just a little effort and a whole lot of love.
6/12/2019
I Remember MomI REMEMBER MOM
When I was little, while all the other little girls at school went back and forth over what they wanted to be when they grew up, I always knew what I wanted. I played house. I played with dolls. I played grocery shopping. I wanted to be a mom. Just like my mom. I may have been only 4 or 5, but I watched her, and she didn’t even realize. As she cooked and cleaned, as she did the laundry and ironing, as she bought groceries and took care of my baby brother, as she kissed my daddy when he walked through the door~ my little eyes were always watching. She may have gotten frustrated at times. She may have yelled at me (for which I know I deserved), she may have gotten tired or sad or discouraged. She may have looked at the other moms and their accomplishments and wished she could DO more, not realizing~ She was already doing everything~ because my little heart wanted to grow up and be her. And at night, no matter what the day held, as she snuggled with me in bed and read me another chapter of my favorite book, it was the best feeling in the world and I never wanted it to end. Mama (and daddies of little boys) whatever your role, whatever your vocation~ little eyes are watching and wishing to be you. The world might try to convince you that simply being a “mom” is a worthless job. You might wish you could accomplish so much more for your children. There will be days you might wish you could retrace your steps and take back the yelling and frustration or weariness and impatience. Despite what we might see as failures~ you are the best feeling in the world to them~ their little hearts love unconditionally and they want to grow up to be just like us. Time goes by. Little hearts grow up. Little eyes notice more. Future plans change. Make sure your babies see a future wrapped up in Jesus. I landed my dream job. I’m a mom. I’m a grandma, and this morning as I got my coffee and the morning sunlight whispered through the windows, I almost cried. God has blessed me so much. A family. A house. Laundry and ironing. Dust on the furniture and cobwebs in the corners. A floor that needs sweeping. A grocery list and a pantry. Grandbabies. A morning cup of coffee. All the small things God gives us, that this life holds, aren’t really small after all. Things we might overlook, complain about or take for granted. But I remember. I remember wanting to push the grocery cart. I remember my Easy Bake Oven and play stove and fridge. I remember play shelves with play food. I remember my Fischer Price vacuum. I remember pretending to be mom drinking her coffee, I remember crying baby dolls and bottles and pretend diapers. I remember mom. And I wished that she was here to see it so that I could say thank you mom~ for showing me how to be just like you and loving every minute of it. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
6/5/2019
Glorious FlowersGLORIOUS FLOWERS
The other day while visiting my daughter I came across the stump of a tree they had cut down. It was the strangest thing~ sweet stickiness was bubbling up from inside that stump but the branches that were once attached lay brittle and lifeless. The beauty they once held had died. I gazed across the yard at another tree. It was standing strong with its branches all in tact, glorious flowers budding from every limb~and I smiled. I knew that I was like those limbs laying lifeless, because I hadn’t been attached to the strength of that Vine. With my dad being sick I’ve been emotional, tired, worried. I’ve let a cloud hover over my heart. I’ve let faith fall by the wayside of “what if’s”. I’ve allowed the struggles of life to take control instead of clinging to that Vine. Jesus is that Vine. The Vine that never fails. He is immovable and strong. Always there. And so I stop. I sit in the quietness of His presence. I ask everything of Him. I ask my Savior to speak to my heart. I ask Him to be my strength in the days ahead. I ask Him to renew my faith. I ask Him to show me life from His words so that I might bring glory to His name~ just like the glorious blooms of that beautiful tree across the yard. Days later I watched as my dad held on to the cane I recently purchased for him. The older gentleman that I bought it from explained to me that it was unique in that~ It was made from the strong roots of a tree. And I smiled. In that moment God’s glory was shown to me as my dad leaned on that vine. God whispered to my soul that not only would He always be my strength and support, He would be my dad’s as well. Glorious, joyful flowers bloomed in my heart that day. We cannot do this life if we are not attached to the Vine. All we need do is ask. Without Him we will be nothing but dead, brittle, lifeless branches. I want His sweetness to stick to my soul and His Vine to be my strength. I want His beautiful glory to make you smile. “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered. If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.” John 15:5-8, 11 |
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