2/16/2024
It’s Not Okay“I’m so sorry.”
“God is in control.” “Give it to Him.” “He has a plan.” “It’s going to be okay.” “God will give you the peace that passes understanding.”… But what if He doesn’t?? These are often the words of friends and loved ones when someone is going through trauma. They’re meant to comfort, but sometimes they don’t. What if your soul is completely wrecked? You’ve prayed. You’ve cried. You’ve begged, you’ve asked. But God remains silent. The pain does not dissipate. This week my husband and I were babysitting our four grandsons. The 2 year old tried to copy his older brother and ended up falling off of a bench. We knew immediately that something was very wrong. His parents were almost 2 hours from home, so we had to get permission to take him to the hospital. It broke my heart. His little body was hurting and he didn’t understand. Throughout the process of exams and X-rays and more exams and more X-rays, his big blue eyes looked lost. He was scared and crying. And over and over his grandpa and the doctors and the nurses sweetly repeated “it’s okay”. I even said it. But it wasn’t okay. Nothing he was going through felt okay. He only wanted to be held. He asked for his daddy, but even after His daddy came home and held him, he cried~because the pain did not go away. He had a broken collarbone and bruised ribs. I kept replaying it in my mind. How many times had we tried to reassure him that “it was okay”. Clearly it wasn’t okay. It was just our way of trying to soothe him. And how often do we as Christian’s do this with others when they are going through their own pain and heartache. When the tears won’t stop and they don’t understand why. We try to comfort with our words, but our words don’t give them the answers they’re seeking. It reminded me of the story of Job in the Bible, and all the heartache he went through. His friends had good intentions in the beginning, they truly desired to comfort him~they even cried with him. But in the end, they didn’t have the answers. Their words didn’t help because they weren’t the words that Job needed, they were the words of those lacking empathy. My grandson had to go through a lot of pain during his exams and X-rays. It was heart wrenching. The crazy thing is, there is no help for a broken collarbone. We do what we can to ease the pain. We are gentle with him, we console, we pray, but ultimately there is no answer. And so we try to give him the comfort he longs for. If you have a friend or loved one going through heartache of their own, you might not have an answer for them either. We can try to give hope. We can encourage with God’s word. We can say it’s going to be okay, but ultimately we can’t fix it or make it better. Only God can. Comfort comes in many forms. Everyone’s view of comfort is different. Ask God for wisdom and discernment when seeking to comfort, but more importantly ask Him to give you compassion and empathy for that particular person. Not what YOU would desire, but what THEY need. Sometimes it’s best just to love on them. Pray for them. Listen to them. Be there with them and cry with them. Don’t try to have all the answers. And if you are going though that pain yourself, be raw with God, just like Job was. There is nothing wrong with just pouring your heart out to Him. Letting the tears flow. Telling Him you don’t understand. Then crying some more. There’s such a lesson to be learned through the child like faith of a toddler. Isaiah doesn’t know how long he has to endure this pain. He doesn’t know why he is hurting, nor does he demand answers from his daddy. Day after day he crawls up onto his daddy’s lap, simply seeking comfort. He cries unashamedly. His daddy can’t take the pain away, but baby Isaiah trusts him fully to care for him as he heals, and ease the pain with his presence. And that’s exactly what we need to do in the middle of our own pain. Despite not having answers. Despite the heart ache, don’t give up hope… Day after day, climb up into your heavenly Daddy’s lap and trust him fully through the tears. Of this I am sure~ your healing will come. Romans 8:28 SCRIPTURE READING: James 5:11 1 Peter 1:6-9 1 Peter 5:7 Psalm 103:13-14 Psalm 91:4-5, 11-12, 14-15 Job 10:15 Job 16:2 , 4-5, 20-21 Job 1:22 Job 42:10 Job 13:15 1 Thessalonians 4:9 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
2/2/2024
Love Like JesusMy sister in law was only 35 years old when she passed away in 2003 from complications in child birth. Many of you know the story. She died 6 days after giving birth to her 6th child. It broke me. My heart yearned to comfort her children, and take care of her baby. Just a few months later my own mother unexpectedly passed away, and my heart yearned for the comfort that only she could give. Comfort I had grown to lean on, from the one person who was now gone forever.
Wednesday was the anniversary of my sister in laws home going. It also happened to be the anniversary of another mother’s home going. The mama of a dear friend of mine. Two mothers who went home to heaven, and left children behind. Young and old. It really made me think~no matter the time that is passed or how old we are, the day our mama leaves us will always be hard. I thought about the posts I made last week. Posts about mamas, and the comments I received. Some women shared that they have never experienced that love and comfort that I spoke of. And I thought about my own children. Some are going through a very difficult time right now. As I was praying for them late one night, I was aware of the fact that one day I will be gone, and that “mama”comfort will be gone with me. The comfort in praying without ceasing, in encouraging and listening. The comfort in sharing laughter, hugs and tears. The comfort of loving unconditionally and sacrificing without limit. The comfort I will always try to give, because I am their mom. What happens when we lose that? It is a grief that cannot be put into words, because our hearts know~ no one loves you like your mom. And what if we never had that to begin with? It is an emptiness that can’t be explained. This week I shared another post, one that reminded us not to take for granted those who speak life into us, and encourage us. They are a gift from God. And that’s what motivated me to challenge you today. We live in a world full of hurting people. Health and financial burdens seem hopeless. Marriages and wayward children weigh heavy. The loss of a spouse or child leaves devastation, and grieving children~all those who have lost their mother, or never experienced a mother’s love to begin with, feel utterly alone. Who will step up and comfort them? Who will speak life into them? Who will encourage them? Who will fill that emptiness and be that gift from God to a broken soul? Our God is the God of all comfort, and we are instructed in His word to love as He does. When life is going good, and even when life is filled with pain~it’s easy to give that much for our children, but it isn’t always easy to give that much to another. To pray without ceasing. To encourage and uplift. To always be there for someone. To talk and cry and to love unconditionally. That’s sacrifice. That’s being Christ-like. I long to know that someone will be that for my children after I am gone. And with that thought I am convicted that I also need to be that for others while I am here, when life is good and even when life is painful. Not because I am a mother, and not because I had a wonderful mother, but because I have a good and wonderful Father. The beautiful fact is this. You don’t have to be a mother to love and comfort and encourage others like God does and you don’t have to have a personal experience of having that comfort that only a mother can give. You just have to have God. Love. Love like God. What a gift He has given us. A precious gift we ALL need to share. SCRIPTURE READING 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Psalm 34:18 Hebrews 12:12 Philippians 2:4 Ephesians 4:32 John 13:34-35 1 John 3:17-18 Matthew 25:37-40 Galatians 5:13-14 Galatians 6:2, 10 Colossians 3:12 1 Thessalonians 5:11 Proverbs 12:25 1 Peter 4:8-10 Isaiah 66:13
9/15/2023
Just Show UpI’ll never forget the evening I was cleaning the restrooms at our church. I was all alone. My dad had just passed away, and my heart was hurting deeply. I was crying pretty hard, when a couple from church happened to show up. It wasn’t planned. They didn’t know I was there. They came to clean too. I tried to gain my composure before they saw me. When they did, she smiled~until she realized I was crying. And then she hugged me. She didn’t speak, she just allowed me to cry. She knew, because she had been down this path herself…
My husband has pastored here in our little town since 1995, and even though our church is small, we have had a very large amount of heartache. One of the hardest things about ministering in the same place for so long is having to see our dear ones go through this heartache~ or having to say goodbye to them as they leave this earth. I honestly think the ladies that have graced the hallways of my little church are super heroes. So many of my sisters in Christ have literally been through horrific heartache and trauma, and yet they stand faithful in their walk with God. I have seen their children, young and old, taken from this world. I have seen spouses suffer and die. I have seen illness and disease invade their fragile bodies. I have seen precious memories lost to dementia. I have seen infertility and miscarriage. I have seen abuse and infidelity. I have seen marriages end. I have seen wayward children and financial loss. I have seen their pain over and over again. And I have seen their light shine. Their smile. Their praise. Their faithfulness. Their strength. And I am undone. I am in awe. Because I know it can only be of God. And then there is me. I am not strong. My heart feels it would crumble when faced with similar circumstances. I get scared, anxious and even depressed. I am an introvert. When heartache hits home, my personality wants to hide. I don’t want to be with people. I don’t want to talk about it, and I don’t want to pretend I’m okay in public. Too often, I fake it. It’s much easier for me to talk about heartache when I can hide behind a laptop screen. I can encourage, but also allow the tears to flow. But when I am in the middle of that pain, it’s much harder for me to be an encouragement and show up, let alone talk about it face to face. But my ladies have shown up. They have talked about it. And I have listened. The ladies of my church have forged through the deep and dark. They have left a clear path for me to walk through. They have stood on the other side smiling back at me, shining their light as a beacon of hope and encouragement. Some have left and gone home to heaven, but they were faithful until their last breath. Others are here with me still. Still fighting the battle. Still smiling. Still praising… I don’t think they know how much of an impact they have had on my life. They cheer me on and are living testimonies of God’s words without even realizing. God’s words that proclaim~ When I am weak I am strong~ The peace that passes understanding~ I will send you a comforter~ I will never leave you or forsake you~ All things work together for the good~ Let your light so shine~ Comforting others the same way God has comforted you~ Pressing toward the mark and standing on the Rock~ And having done all… to stand. And I know, that if they can do it, I can too. I can be strong through Christ. Their strength gives me strength. I can have the peace that passes understanding. I can be comforted and be a comforter. I can let my light shine, and stand when I think I am too weak and will surely fall. That’s why it’s so important to stay in God’s word, continually talking to Him and being reminded of His promises. And that is why it is so important to have precious godly friends. Friends that lean into the arms of Jesus, and then draw you in with them. Friends who pray for you and encourage you in your pain. Friends who have walked through it, and sit with you in it. And that’s why it’s so important to encourage others if you have already gone down that path. So that you can always remind them~ We can’t do this life without Jesus, but with Jesus~ nothing is impossible. And so, I look at my own heart. What kind of friend will I be? What kind of friend will you be? Will we lean into Jesus or hide our light in the loneliness of despair? Of this one thing I am sure~ someone out there needs your light. Someone needs your testimony. Someone needs to walk behind you and know in their desperation that, with God’s power they will make it. Someone needs to see you leaning into Jesus and someone needs you to pull them in with you. To encourage and cheer them on. To smile and reach out your hand from the other side. Someone needs you. We just have to show up. 2 Corinthians 12:9&10 Philippians 4:6&7 John 14:26 Deuteronomy 31:6 Hebrews 13:5&6 Romans 8:28 Matthew 5:16 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 Ephesians 6:13 James 5:16 Philippians 3:14 Matthew 7:24-25 1 Thessalonians 5:11-13 Ephesians 3:16-21 Philippians 1:3-6
4/20/2023
He Weeps With UsToday I am sharing a guest post written by my daughter in law Shannon on the topic of infertility. Our prayer is that it will help others who are going through this heartbreaking experience as well. Shannon gives us a beautiful look into her heart and pain, but also into the hope she has in Jesus.
He Weeps With Us By: Shannon Goforth April 23rd marks the beginning of National Infertility Awareness Week – a week I never thought would have any significance to me, let alone know it even existed. Infertility is a topic that is personal, vulnerable, and even intimidating to share, but it is something that I have been praying about for months. I feel like God has finally pressed on my heart to share my story. I never thought I would be that “one in eight.” You get married and dream of starting a family one day, but you never think it will be difficult. After struggling with infertility for almost five years, being told we have a 2% chance of having a child naturally isn’t what I imagined we’d hear. This devastating news was horrible and scary from the beginning. As we began to process and cope with our new reality, I began to read stories of other couples who had struggled in the same way. Hearing others’ miracle endings gave me hope. It made me feel less alone seeing how others could beautifully articulate the pain infertility brings. But what about still being in the middle of the waiting? Wondering if you’ll ever get your miracle at the end of your long journey… Infertility isn’t something many people talk about. The waiting is extremely difficult. It has been one of the loneliest, darkest valleys Michael and I have ever had to walk through together – and still are. Despite this being such a heartbreaking struggle to endure, it has also been an amazing season of refining in our marriage. God has used our infertility to strengthen our relationship in such a remarkable way. We’ve experienced an incredible closeness with each other that has been so beautiful. Michael has been an incredible comfort to me throughout this entire process, all while experiencing such deep pain of his own. I could not get through any of this without his constant encouragement. We’re in this together, and I love that. As we’ve slowly started sharing our story with others, I’ve been blown away with how many women have reached out to me and shared that they’ve silently struggled with infertility as well. This is ultimately why I’m sharing this uncomfortable topic: to help even one person know they’re not alone in their journey, as I thought I was for so long. Being able to open up and share your story, then having an army of people praying behind you in response is so worth it, but I know that doesn’t make it easy. I want to share some truths that have comforted me while walking through this difficult journey. I pray these reminders can be an encouragement to anyone who is in a valley reading this — something you can turn back to and reference in Scripture when you are in your darkest moments. There’s a well-known story in the Bible that comes from John 11. Mary and Martha are grieving over the death of their brother, Lazarus. Even though Jesus knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead, He still looked at the tears of those around Him and was so gripped by their pain that Jesus, the God of the Universe, wept. From this passage in Scripture, we learn that God doesn’t just see our tears, He weeps alongside of us. This has been an amazing reminder to me that Jesus is always near. He sees me when I’m questioning His goodness and asking how any good could come from this. In the darkest moments when the enemy tries to get in my head and convince me that God has forgotten about me, I can look back on all His faithfulness in my life and know that’s the farthest thing from the truth! He is near. He is weeping with us in our pain. Not only that, but Jesus understands our pain more than we ever will. While Jesus is fully God, He is also fully man. He felt the pain that sin brings. He went to the cross for us on our behalf and felt the agony of pain leading up to that dark day. In Luke 22 He says to the Father “If you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done.” This passage goes on to say that He was in such agony over the cross and prayed so earnestly that His sweat became drops of blood. Can you imagine that pain? When I’m tempted to feel as though Jesus doesn’t understand my deepest pain, I’m reminded of this incredible truth. Not only does He walk alongside me through this, but He weeps with me and knows the pain I’m enduring. I would never choose to endure this pain of infertility, but the intimacy I’ve felt with the Lord and this beautiful realization He’s taught me during our devastating season has made it worth it. Had I not chosen to lean into Him a year ago during some of my darkest moments, this isn’t something I ever would’ve been able to say. God is still writing our story. Even though I don’t know what the future holds, I know He has a better ending for us than we could ever imagine. If you are currently walking this painful road of infertility, just know I see you and you’re not alone. More importantly, God sees you and weeps alongside you.
2/17/2023
So Today, I Talked To God About You.Last January as I was taking down my Christmas decorations, I decided to put my 7 foot Christmas tree away all by myself. My husband wasn’t home that night, but I didn’t want to wait. I found the perfect shelf for it out in our garage, all I had to do was haul it out there and hoist it up on to that shelf.
The shelf was much higher than my head. I was sure I could do it with a ladder and a little gumption. I set the tree bag upright and then climbed the ladder, grabbed the tree and pulled. It was very heavy and awkward, but I managed to get it over my head. That’s when I got stuck. It was too heavy to hoist above my shoulders and onto the shelf, and I began to lose my balance. I couldn’t put it down because if I moved, my balance would be off and I would fall backwards. I didn’t want to risk just dropping it and somehow breaking it. So I stood there on that ladder, holding on to that tree as it balanced on top of my head. My spine began to feel like an accordion, I was all alone, I didn’t have my cell phone and my husband wouldn’t be home for two more hours. I don’t know how much time went by, or how many ideas and scenarios went through my head. (My husband coming home to me lying on the garage floor under a Christmas tree~probably dead~was one of them.) So, how did I get out of it? I think somehow God miraculously helped me because when I didn’t think there was any possible answer for the situation I found myself in, I prayed. Why is it so often our last resort? Maybe I felt like it was hopeless. Perhaps I felt foolish going to God about the stupid mess I got myself into~ thinking I could do it all on my own~ but just like that, He answered. He gave me an idea, I tried it and within minutes that tree was on that shelf. It seems to me, in my own life I can catch myself doing this same thing. So many loved ones and friends have been going through heartache and it’s a heavy, heavy burden. Add social media to the mix and the barrage of bad news on a daily basis, and you can feel like the weight of it is too much. With friends on Facebook and Instagram and instant access to requests for prayer, often you close your computer feeling utterly heartbroken over the trials many are going through. And you feel helpless. I find myself wishing I could make their pain go away or that I could physically do something, anything to make them feel better. The suffering of loved ones and friends is a constant weight inside my mind. Even as I prayed about what to write to you today, I felt helpless. I asked God how I could help those of you who are reading this, how I could encourage and uplift to make other’s lives a little better. And then I opened His word, and I knew He heard my prayer. He showed me that I can’t fix everyone’s pain. I am not the answer because I am not God. Suddenly I found myself picturing the hundreds of hurting friends, loved ones and acquaintances. And Jesus. Just like the hundreds begging for help in Jesus day. It was never too many. He did not turn any away. Long lines, throngs of people pressing in. And the beautiful compassion of Jesus. And He whispered to my heart~ “Bring them to me. Don’t carry that heavy burden on your shoulders, I will carry it for you, all you need do is bring them to me.” And so, I have. Every time my heart feels heavy and helpless for the needs of many, I bring those needs to Jesus. It might seem like such a small thing, praying for the needs of others when you wish you could physically do something for them, but my friend~ it’s the most powerful gift you can give them. The compassion of Jesus. Maybe you’re trying to fix things on your own, not wanting to wait for help. Maybe your burden is for the heartache of others. Maybe your burden is for your own heartache or maybe you’re just trying to balance life’s ladder, holding all of your baggage and ashamed of the messes you’ve gotten yourself into. There is not one burden we’re meant to carry alone. There is not one burden that is hopeless. As much as I wish I could, there are no fancy words I could pen to magically make everything better, but the needs of many are not meant to rest on my shoulders. When we continue to worry, to think of every worst case scenario, to feel like the situation is hopeless and help is far away, we will end up flat on our backs under the weight of it all, just like I almost did with that tree. God wants us to hand it to Him and trust that He will take care of it. So today, I talked to God about you. He took you. He lifted you up. He set you up on a high place, under the shadow of His wings. A place of peace, where the weight of the world becomes weightless. And I know~ There is no better place for my friend to be. SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 3:3, 28:7, 31:24, 34:17-18, 40:2-4, 61:2, 91:14, 121, 145:18 Ecclesiastes 4:10 Numbers 6:24-26 Matthew 9:36, 11:28-30, 19:26 I Peter 5:7 Isaiah 41:13 Jeremiah 31:25 Philippians 4:6-7 Today I’m inviting you to my wedding. I’m sharing a video my son made for us 7 years ago for our 30th anniversary… When you’re young and you fall in love, quite often you don’t think too far ahead. You’re living in the moment. Maybe you talk about children or future plans, but the farthest you get in your thought process is the dream of getting old together, sitting on a porch with a white picket fence and smiling at the wonderful life God allowed you. Lately, I have continually heard the question~ “How did you know he was the one?” It seems to be a recurring theme on sappy Christmas movies. I pondered that as I thought back. It occurred to me the other day that I actually had that vision of Mike and I when I first got married, the whole “growing old, white picket fence” thing. I never saw that future with anyone else. A future where I couldn’t live without him. When I was 20, I never dreamed that someday my crazy, active young man (who could face any challenge and do any thing) would have three major joints replaced within 5 months time. His shoulder, right knee and next week, his left knee. When we’re young, we don’t like to think about the “what if’s” of our futures. What if my husband gets dementia? What if my husband gets cancer? What if he has heart problems or lung problems? What if he is no longer the strong man I lean on, when I really need to lean on him? My husband is my best friend. He’s the love of my life, but I’ll be honest~ there have been times I’ve lost my patience with him. I’ve lost the spark. I’ve misplaced my dreams, the very dreams that we actually got to live out together. I remember that childish girl who promised her forever to the man of those dreams. Our anniversary is this week and I remember my “for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” I meant every word as he held my hands in front of 500 people 37 years ago. Truth be told~ I’m sure he didn’t think he signed up for a wife with all my issues either, but he loves me despite me. This “outward” that we grow old with isn’t truly us, it’s just our physical bodies aging through the process of time. Our true self lies deep within. It is our souls. They never grow old. I fell in love with Mike’s soul 37 years ago. Today I want to encourage you to remember that soul you fell in love with. The soul God placed in your hands to love and cherish. Some days it’s a lot harder to do, but those are the days we need to remind ourselves that our husbands have hard days dealing with us as well. You hold his soul in the heart of your actions, your words, your respect, your passion, your touch, your empathy, your patience your tenderness~ and most importantly~ your love. Remember that young girl who couldn’t imagine a future without him. Whatever you face in the days ahead, whatever reality has squashed the dreams of that naive young bride you once were, don’t let go of that promise to love. No matter what. I wrote the words to that song we’re singing at our wedding. Mike came up with the tune. I cannot believe shy Charisse even attempted to sing it. That’s what love does to you, makes you believe you can do anything. With all your heart, with all your soul~ Make each other believe again this Christmas. Scripture Reading: I Corinthians 13:1-8, 16:14 I John 4:7-8 I Timothy 5:8 Romans 12:9-10 John 15:11-12 Hebrews 10:24
5/13/2022
I Asked My Mother In Law For AdviceAs I was praying about what I could post for Mother’s Day last week, part of me was at a loss. I thought back to my early years of motherhood~ All the helpless moments. The weary days and the long nights. And all the amazing moments filled with joy and laughter. The longing in a Grandma’s heart to go back and do it better, or just to go back and hold them and rock them one more time. There were times my husband and I thought we had it all figured out, but as I look back now, I realize we didn’t know a thing. With age comes wisdom. The wisdom in admitting that even at this age~I don’t know a thing. That knowledge has my heart searching for answers, and for wisdom from those who have been where I am even now. And so, I asked my Mother In Law if she could impart wisdom to young moms, and older moms, and all the moms in between. I have always viewed my Mother In Law as the “All Knowing Fountain of Wisdom”, so her response surprised me. Her words were: “I appreciate that you feel that my advice has the potential to be of benefit to anyone, but I fear you may be seeing me through eyes of love.” And so, perhaps I did glean a little age old wisdom in my acknowledgment that~ the older we get, the more we feel we aren’t really wise at all. And yet, her words brought truth to my heart that I wanted to share with all ladies, whether you are a mom or not. Here are her words: 1. “Marry the right man. When dealing with moms, they have already made that decision for better or worse. The philosophy of “it takes a village” may be popular, but it ideally takes a couple who are willing to devote themselves to raising responsible human beings who know and love God. People who can take care of themselves and others.” (The verdict is still out on whether or not she thinks I chose wisely. She keeps reminding me~”I warned you”… 😂) 2. “Children don’t belong to us. If we do it right they become independent and we feel abandoned until we realize we gave them the tools that made it possible.” 3. Seek backup and be the backup. My mother in law told me that she had “total backup. Husband, parents, in-laws, sisters, all in harmony with their beliefs. Very few people are so blessed.” So often I hear parents sharing hardships on their journey of child rearing, and sadly I also hear the response~’it was your choice to have kids.’ Raising godly children who love the Lord and want to serve Him is probably the hardest yet most important task a mother can do. A task that ultimately brings great glory to God. Be the back up. Don’t demean that task with trivial comments. Just as you have hardships in your life, mom’s do too. Let’s strive to support them on their journey of motherhood and raising little ones who will one day be our next generation. As I was having my devotions this week, God brought something to my attention. Even Moses, the man who God spoke to directly, needed advice from his Father In Law. Moses could have responded to his Father In Law in a negative way. He could have said- ‘Don’t you realize who you are advising? The man who talks directly to God! Who do you think you are?’ But that wasn’t his response at all . He humbly accepted the advice given, and it helped him tremendously. God could have given that advice to Moses directly, but God chose to use Moses Father in Law to impart that wisdom. Ladies, we don’t have it all figured out. We never will until we get to glory, especially when it comes to this mom thing. Learn to seek wisdom from those who have traveled this journey before us. I’m so thankful I did. My Mother In Law may believe that I see her this way through eyes of love, but God has used her in mighty ways in my life, and for that I will forever be thankful. Marry the right man. Give your children to God. Seek backup. Be the backup. Four simple things, yet four things that can change your life and the lives of your children for eternity. Thank you Mom! I love you!
3/18/2022
Never Alone AgainI was blessed to have a very unusual high school experience.
I know many others could not say the same. When I look back on those years, I truly believe God used every incident to produce habits in my own life for years to come. For that, I am forever grateful. I went to a very small Christian high school that was a part of our church ministry. The friendships that were forged are the kind that last a lifetime. One thing about those years that really stands out in my heart and mind is this~ I never felt alone. I felt loved by a community of believers and friends who always had my back. Through grief they comforted. When I fell away from God, they lovingly picked me up. When I laughed, they laughed with me. When I cried, they held me close. When God moved in hearts, we celebrated together. There was never a feeling of loneliness, unworthiness or judgment. I never felt the need to be something I was not. Many years have passed since I was that impressionable teenager. Sadly, through the years a few people have now and then made me feel like I didn’t quite measure up. I know that I am not alone in this area, and yet it’s an incredibly lonely feeling. There have been times I have fallen away from God and felt shame. Times I would never dream of sharing my failures with others, or even ask for help because of that shame. I was all too familiar with the inevitable reaction of shaking heads and disapproving judgment. There have been times I find myself knee deep in the insecure feelings of “not good enough”, convinced that I’m doing it wrong, saying it wrong, writing it wrong or sharing it wrong. Convinced that everyone else has their act together and knows what they’re doing in their Christian walk, except for me. Convinced I should be someone else. A much better version of me. What have we become? Why are so many churches filled with people that look the part but have no empathy or compassion for others? Who continually find the speck of wrong doing in others, but can’t even see the log homes of pretense they themselves are building? (Matthew 7:1-5) Churches filled with people, often women, who make others feel “less than” and alone. Our church communities should not be this way. I have found that many churches tend to lean one way or the other. Too many churches are made up of people playing a part. People who look down on others who don’t outwardly measure up. The Bible calls them Pharisees. (Matthew 23:25-28) On the other hand there are churches filled with people who share the “come as you are” mantra, but don’t follow through with biblical teaching on how to grow beyond where they linger. There is no solid ground of repentance and forgiveness, encouragement and change. It’s all just a “feel good” atmosphere. The Bible calls this the seeds that have fallen on stony places. (Matthew 13:4-9, 18-23) Both can leave a person feeling very alone. Jesus never intended any of this to be our reality. What was my high school reality? I can remember a friend sharing scripture with me on the bus ride to a basketball game. I was going through uncertainty, and she lifted me up with God’s words. When I found out my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer, I can remember the comfort I felt in the embrace of a friend as she held me in silence and allowed me to cry. I can remember a group of us sharing tears of joy in the bathroom after a revival service at our church. I can remember testimonies of God’s working in front of bonfires. I can remember sharing the gospel with a new student and friend in an empty room off of the church sanctuary, and her prayer asking Jesus to save her. I can remember that Jesus was real to us, and we were real with each other. What habits did my high school years teach me? That we could be truthful without feeling “less than”. That we could share in the good without the worry that others would think we were bragging. That we could cry without being made to feel weak. That we could share our struggles without condemnation. That we could talk about God without feeling like others viewed us as trying to appear “better than”. That we could be real. Real and never alone. Just like Jesus taught. Just like Jesus was here on earth~ and still is today. That should be our reality. A fellow sister in Christ should never feel alone. We should have each others backs instead of sticking knives in them. We should lend a hand when they fall, and give our heart when they’re hurting. We should rejoice when they rejoice, and weep when they weep. (Romans 12) We should reach down and lift them up. We should be the hands and feet of Jesus, and have the heart of Him who saved us from the wretched sinners we all are. (Romans 3: 10, 23) Somehow I think too many forget that part. Today, search your hearts. Look into someone’s eyes and tell them it’s going to be okay. Give them your hand and your heart and lift them up. Share God’s words of love with them. Empowerment as women should not be our goal. Making sure that others never feel alone should be our calling. Just like Jesus. A habit we should never, ever forget.
9/4/2021
Reading A Book Called GraceI’m very good at judging a book by its cover, especially the “judging” part. Something I do not take pride in.
My problem is, I never read the entire book. I decide I know the whole story just by skimming a few chapters, or even looking at the cover. I realized the other day how often I will watch other women, how often I will listen to their words and how often I will come to a conclusion about them based solely on a few comments or their outward demeanor. I am ashamed to say that I allow my mind those conclusions when only God knows their heart. I Samuel 16:7 I am not God. One comment, one action, one mean word and we can tend to write someone off as a bad book. We have no idea what’s going on in their heart, in the ugly chapters with the long words and heartbreaking scenarios. We don’t know what they’ve been through or might be going through. The defenses and walls they’ve put up. The hurt they’ve endured. The sadness that overwhelms. There is always something deeper. I am not condoning bad behavior. We should always strive to be like Christ, but often we are quick to apply that rule to others and not to ourselves. Matthew 7:2-5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:5 I know without a doubt that Christ has never had thoughts similar to those I have had in the past. Wretched thoughts such as~ “What a jerk. What a witch. What a miserable, horrible person”. Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 139: 16-17 Putting it on paper makes me weep because I know, all Christ sees is love. Forgiveness. Understanding. Mercy and grace. He sympathizes with our circumstances because He is fully aware of what this life entails. He’s been through it. His understanding is infinite. Psalm 147:5, Philippians 2:6,7, Hebrews 4:15,16 Too often I have heard the words… “but you don’t know what she’s like, what she said, what she did, what she wrote. You don’t know…” I have spoken those exact words myself. God knows though. Inevitably by saying those words I am somehow trying to justify myself for my wrong actions in judging that person. My actions that were not Christlike. Romans 12:21 My actions that were no better than hers. There have been times I was hurting deeply. There have been times I have been stuck in a place of darkness and loneliness, feeling as if no one understood. All the raw emotions that gripped me would suddenly spill out, and I would lash out at someone from the agonizing pain I had been holding in. Other moments tears would be so close that I would remain quiet, appearing aloof. In all my setbacks and shortcomings, I am so glad Christ never judged me by my cover. I am so glad he knew my thoughts and heart and instead of judging He was my advocate to God my Father. He sat with me in the pain and pulled me out of it. He gave me grace. I John 2:1-2, James 4:6 Oh ladies, why can’t we be like Christ? Why can’t we look a little deeper and show a little more empathy? Why are we so quick to judge and so lax to pray? Why can’t we offer to sit with them in the pain~with grace on our lips instead of grumbling in our hearts? I want to be that book called grace. I want my pictures and words to be beautiful illustrations of mercy, empathy, forgiveness and love. More important, when God looks at my thoughts and heart toward others, I want Him to see those exact pictures too. We can hide behind a beautifully illustrated cover, but what does Christ see when He looks inside? Proverbs 4:23, I Peter 3:3-4, Psalm 19:14 Our world is a wounded, hurting world. A world that desperately needs Hope, the hope that only Christ can give. A world that needs to read your book. Let it be the book called Grace. James 4:6,11-12, I Peter 2:9, Proverbs 3:3-4 As a mother, one of the most comforting passages in scripture to me are the simple words of Jesus in John 2~
My hour is not yet come. In other words~ It’s not time yet, this wasn’t the plan. The magnitude of this speaks volumes to my mama heart because it shows the heart my Savior had for his own earthly mother. The God of the universe, the Christ who controls every aspect of time and space and knows every detail of our lives down to the second~ changed the very course of time for his mother. It wasn’t time for Him to reveal God’s plan to the world. It wasn’t time for Him to reveal Himself as the Messiah. It wasn’t His plan to perform His first miracle that day. Until that moment, He was simply a guest at a wedding. With the pleas of a mother, all of that changed in an instant. Not because she was a saint. Not because she had some power over Him that He could not refuse. Simply because she was his mama, a normal mama just like you and me. A mother. A miracle. A Messiah. His mother asked for help from the only One she knew could truly help. She needed a miracle. He did not hesitate. His heart for her was displayed in a single moment. Compassion, empathy, honor, love. And yes, that speaks volumes to me. Because I know that He knows. He understands. He has compassion and empathy and love. For me. Whatever I am facing as a mother, He will understand, and He will always be there to perform the miracles this mother needs in her own life. No matter what stage of motherhood you are in, Jesus will be with you through it all. ~When the pregnancy test comes back positive and suddenly, you are holding a precious newborn in your arms. ~When your once peaceful home becomes crazy and chaotic with toddlers and toys, diapers and bottles, giggles and laughter. ~When you fight back the tears on their first day of kindergarten and their last day of high school. ~When you smile for every “first” you get to experience, every proud moment, every minute spent together, every confidence shared. ~When you cry as they drive off to college or vow their life to another. ~When suddenly you are staring into the sweetness and wonder of your first grandchild, and it feels like it was just yesterday that you were holding their mama in your arms. As quickly as it starts, time will fly by even faster. With the best intentions, you might have the perfect plan laid out for your future, but the minute your baby is conceived is the minute everything changes. You become a mother. Through every “first” you can rest assured that He will be with you on your journey. Because He knows. He knows all about mamas and plans and change. He is with you through the uncertainty, the fear, the joy, the wonder, the stress, the tears, the loneliness, the pride, the amazement and the thankfulness. You are never alone mama. Your Savior has a heart for you. Even as Jesus was tortured and dying, He took care of His mother. I do not have one shadow of a doubt that He will do the same for me~ because it was for me that He was on that cross. Whatever you are facing, know that you can face it with Him. Not only the hard stuff, but the celebrations of motherhood as well. No one understands like He does. No one will have compassion and empathy for you as He does. No one will love you more on this journey of motherhood than He does. He knows. He understands. A mother. A miracle. Our Messiah.
3/19/2021
Apples Of Gold. Pictures Of Silver.A little miracle in someone’s life is only minutes away.
It isn’t some grand gesture or expensive gift. In fact, it doesn’t have to cost a thing. It’s simply your words. Maybe a text or a note, an email or message. Maybe it’s a hug and a whisper ~ “you are loved” or “I’m praying for you” or even~ “it’s going to be okay”. You can be someone’s miracle today. Through the heaviness my heart has been feeling these last few months, God has used so many of you to be those little miracles in my life. When I was home alone, sitting on the bathroom floor crying, and a loving text would come through at that exact moment. When I was packing up my dad’s clothes with tears streaming down my cheeks, and a personal message popped up on my phone. When I cried all morning and asked God for help and a card came in the mail... On one particular day my heart was hurting deeply. Loneliness overwhelmed me, a loneliness that had been lingering for days. Each day God had continually brought someone to my mind~someone I should reach out to for help. I didn’t listen. I was too worried about what she would think of me if I expressed how I was feeling and asked for help. And so, God in all His amazing grace placed me on her heart instead. She sent me a quick text letting me know she was thinking about me and praying for me. The minute I got it, I knew it was God. I ended up pouring my heart out to her and her empathy and comforting response was exactly what I needed. I no longer felt that loneliness. I felt the compassionate love of my sweet friend, with no judgement and only understanding. I knew she felt my sorrow and grief. Her words were like getting a hug that I desperately needed. I don’t think I ever would have messaged her had she not listened to the nudge God gave her to send me a text. Never, ever underestimate the power of your words and speaking joy over someone. If God has put someone on your heart I urge you to not push those thoughts aside, but to take action. Pray for them. Send them a card or email, or a quick text telling them how much they mean to you. Tell them that you are praying for them. Show them that you care. Maybe God is nudging you to reach out to a complete stranger. That mama in line at the grocery store that’s having a hard time. The waitress whose countenance screams sorrow. That cashier who looks as if she’s fighting back tears behind a generic smile. Don’t let those moments slip by. Heartache and sorrow bed down in the home of loneliness. Each person’s sorrow holds a unique heartache all their own, because every individual has their own unique personality. Even though you may have gone through a similar experience as someone else, the way they deal with it could be completely different than the way you or I deal with it. This is where the heart of Jesus, through empathy and compassion comes in. Don’t be quick to judge that young mom in line, that waitress or cashier or even that person that keeps popping into your head and heart all day long, just because they deal with heartache and grief differently. We have no idea what is going on in the lives of those we come in contact with on a daily basis. A brave smile might mask wounds that cut deep, pressures that threaten to overwhelm or heartache that is debilitating. So listen to God’s nudges. Send that text. Write that message. Speak joy. Don’t ever be too timid to speak to a hurting soul or send encouragement to someone God has placed on your heart. Because ultimately, it isn’t our words that we are speaking. It’s the joy of Jesus speaking through us. Shine the joy of Jesus into the darkness someone’s heart holds today. You can be the very miracle they’ve been searching for. A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Proverbs 25:11 A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it! Proverbs 15:23 Benign. Malignant.
One word that can change her life forever. 2 minute read The blankets were warm. The lights were dim. The voices were soft...compassionate. She was explaining to me what she would be doing, showing me the screen and the images. I watched as the needle went in, almost as if it wasn’t happening to me. But it was. And time stood still... Thousands of us have been here. Right here in this very moment. Holding our breath. Watching time stand still~ yet our life pass before our eyes. Waiting for the results that are finally spoken. And in the waiting, those who have been here before us have two options: To show that person empathy, or to show them apathy. To remember the fear, the anxiousness, the worry~ and to allow all of those pieces of our hearts to spill forth into our words~ or to thoughtlessly dismiss it because somehow you made it through. You were ok. But she may not be. I remember both reactions in those moments my life stood still. I will never forget the sweet compassion and heartfelt prayers of those who knew exactly what I was going through. As that needle went in and I watched, I felt God comfort my weary soul. I felt the prayers of loved ones wash over me and as time stood still, I heard my Savior whisper to my anxious heart that I would be okay... No matter what story that needle had to tell~I would be okay. Because He is my Father and even if I lost my very life, I would never, ever lose Him. And if my physical body had to endure tremendous pain in the process and I had no strength left to hold on~ I wouldn’t have to~ because He would be holding me. And my sisters would be holding me. Holding me in prayer and compassion. The compassion of those who had been there, who remembered the 60 seconds it took as the doctor told them their results. That compassion and those prayers allowed me the peace that passes understanding. 60 seconds that could change a person’s life forever. One word that could bring immense relief or heart wrenching sorrow. Benign. Malignant. So choose your words and actions wisely as you encounter a sweet soul going through the waiting. Remember exactly how you felt and what you wished someone had said to you. Only 60 seconds, but they could change her life forever. Your empathy can tell them a different story. A story of comfort and of hope. A story of a sister who will stay by their side and a Savior Who will carry them through. The story of peace that passes understanding~ No matter what story that needle has to tell. II Corinthians 1:3-4 Romans 12:15 Colossians 3:12 Galatians 6:2
7/10/2019
I’m Praying For You“I’M PRAYING FOR YOU”
The words seemed empty. Empty because they had been used so many times. The heartache my friend carried was too hard to comprehend. Blow after blow had hit her. How much can a human being handle before they break? And yet, I continued to say~ “I’m praying for you.” The loss of a child~ “I’m praying for you” The loss of a spouse~ “I’m praying for you” A cancer diagnosis~ “I’m praying for you” Surgery, divorce, job loss, a wayward child, a distant husband, a terminal illness~ “I’m praying for you...” But, are you? Are we really praying, or is that just our pet answer to a hopeless situation? Once we have walked in those same shoes and lived the horrors this life can throw at us, our souls understand how important prayer is. If our hearts truly hold empathy and compassion, if we truly are going to God on their behalf, if we are begging God to comfort and heal~ Then our God~ Who is full of mercy and compassion~ will do just that. And those simple words won’t be empty words. They become words full of power and hope. They are words to cling to. They are a lifeline for a soul that is breaking. Don’t allow “I’m praying for you” to become an empty promise to the problems others face. Fall on your knees and go to God for that person. Hold them, cry with them and pray with them. Let God be real to them in that moment and ask for His comfort and peace to wash over them. The comfort and peace that only He can give. Ask Him to cradle that dear person in His arms. That person who doesn’t know if they can take much more. And then, when you say the words~ ”I’m praying for you” they will feel those words come alive. **“Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 **“The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” James 5:16 **“But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth.” Psalms 86:15 **Psalm 116:1-9
5/29/2019
The Reality Of ManyTHE REALITY OF MANY
One minute the sun is shining. You’re smiling as you sing along to your favorite iTunes. It’s a perfect Saturday morning. The next minute you’re getting a call from your dad, asking to be taken to emergency. And everything changes. One week turns into two, and then three. For some people this scenario goes on for months or even years. Hospitals. Doctors. Sickness. You feel as if you are living in a dream. Emotional and physical fatigue take control of your normal routine. You can’t sleep at night and you can’t seem to drag yourself out of bed in the morning. You leave your loved one in the evening and hold your breath the next day, waiting to hear from them, trying not to think the worst. And then you do it all over again. You go through the day to day motions, not sure how you even managed. Not only do you find yourself wondering about the distant future, you wonder about tomorrow. You wonder about an hour from now. Sadly, this is the horrible reality of life for many. This is the person next to us in line at the store. This is the lady that quietly comes to church but sits alone. This is the cashier that takes our money with a tired smile. This is the waitress that takes our order with heavy shoulders. This is our brother. This is our sister. This is someone who needs us. Petty little things that disrupt our daily routine do not compare to the heartache others are quietly facing. We get angry over the long lines at the store. We lose our patience with the cashier for taking so long. We snap at the waitress who got our order wrong. We don’t get out of our seat to welcome that lady sitting all alone. Too often life revolves around “me.” We don’t open our eyes to those hurting all around us. We don’t look for opportunities to encourage those we speak to, because we are too busy focusing on ourself. Our day. Our schedule. Our “to-do’s” And all along that lady standing next to you is wondering if her daddy will see tomorrow. That wife is wondering if she will get to see another anniversary with her husband. That mom is wondering if her child will see another birthday. Don’t wait for your own crisis to recognize this. Something I found myself guilty of as I walked down the hospital corridor day after day. As I looked into the rooms of patients that had been there for months and into the tired, heartbroken eyes of loved ones. Look for opportunities to share a kind word, a smile, a meal, a hug. Offer to sit with a loved one who’s been sick far too long. Pick up groceries or run errands for a tired care giver. Look into the eyes of that cashier, that waitress, that person next to you in line, that lady sitting all alone. Look right past yourself and into their eyes. Truly see them. Then do your best to give them a little bit of that Saturday sunshine back again. WHEN “GOD WON’T GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE” DOESN’T CUT IT.
I’ve been accused of living in a bubble. It used to upset me and I’d feel the need to defend myself. I watch the news. I know what’s going on in the world. Tragedy has hit home in my own life on more than one occasion. I know and understand the suffering of others. But maybe, just maybe my blog has become a bubble of pet answers and cute cliches, and I truly wasn’t seeing the deep despair some are living with on a daily basis. What answers do I give to those who feel as if they have no hope? How can I tell a mother that her children will be okay when that mother is facing debilitating heartache and despair in her own life? How can I speak words of hope to those who know all those same words, and still can’t grasp that hope? “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle” doesn’t cut it. So what do I say? I don’t know. I don’t have all the answers. As desperately as I want to, I can’t write some cute cliche that will answer all the heartache and pain you are going through. The only answer I have, the only answer I can cling to is this~ God loves you. When life is at its darkest, when those we love the most in this world have failed us~ failed us in a way that breaks us to the point we think there can be no return, God loves us. He is the only One Who loves us unconditionally~with grace and mercy. With power. With hope. With strength. With compassion and with comfort. And when there isn’t anything else left to cling to~ we cling to Him. When the pain is so deep we don’t have words left to say~we just ask Him to hold us and keep loving us because that’s all we have left in our emptiness. And we can know that He will never leave us. He will never forsake us. He will keep loving us amidst the anger we feel for the circumstances life has thrown at us. He will keep loving us when we stop believing He does. He will keep loving us when we can’t pray. When we have lost all faith. When we can’t function. When we can’t stop the tears from flowing. He will keep loving us. Cling to Him as He holds on to you. He won’t ever let go. Everything and everyone will eventually disappoint. But God. When you feel like there’s nothing left in this world to trust in~ trust this~ the One Who gave His only Son for you because of His unfathomable, indescribable, unending love ~ THAT love belongs to you. It is all yours. It wraps around your heart and soul and holds you when you think you can’t go on. God will never stop loving you. And if that is all we have left in this world, It is enough.
7/31/2018
God’s Women Warriors~~On the cloudiest of days, when my soul is dark and my heart is thundering~ God will give me little snippets of unexpected sunshine... Discouragement comes in many forms and often sets up camp in the deepest recesses of our hearts and minds. It’s a mental enemy that battles against us and gains it’s strength from every wayward thought our contrite heart imagines. God uses the smallest things to remind us of His love, but we can often miss it because that enemy discouragement is clouding every bit of sunshine the Savior throws our way. Sadly, many times encouragement is fleeting. It can often come in the smallest gesture of another, and change someone’s day completely. God can use all of us in this battle against discouragement. He wants us to be on the front lines, fighting for Him. He is tapping our shoulder. He is whispering in our ear~ “Go. Tell her. Speak kindness. Uplift. Encourage. My child needs your words today. They are hurting.” But we brush it off. We make excuses. We’re too busy. We wouldn’t know what to say. We don’t even know that person. And we walk away, not even realizing in the moment how desperately that person needed a word from a stranger, a smile, a hug. My grandson Ethan saw a political sign in someone’s yard last week. He asked his daddy if someone placed the sign there to tell everyone~‘Have a good day!’ 😊 Wow! We are quick to speak on politics or our favorite sports teams. We put their signs in our yards and their jerseys on our backs. We are quick to speak our disapproval of others and the choices they make- and yet, too often, words of encouragement are absent from our vocabulary. I cannot tell you the amount of times you, the reader, have encouraged me. When discouragement sneaks in and tells my wandering heart that it has no business speaking words of truth, God sends a warrior my way. Someone that otherwise would NEVER cross my path in my normal day to day activities. It astounds me every single time. He uses YOU to bless me. And that brings tears to my eyes. Let’s wear God’s words and outwardly show others the beautiful signs of our Saviors love~~ Speak those words, give that hug, send that card, bring that meal, say that prayer. Shine like your Savior and lift someone up out of the depths of discouragement. Be God’s warrior today.
4/24/2018
Those Tight Leather ShoesTHOSE TIGHT LEATHER SHOES
Three of my kids were in college. My fourth was a senior in high school. My life had suddenly become very quiet and I found myself with some “me time”. Leisurely mornings consisted of coffee and God’s word, followed by a morning work out with plenty of day leftover. I’m a list person and each perfectly “scheduled and planned out” day I crossed off my “to-do’s” with a feeling of accomplishment. At the time, I remember having a conversation with a young lady whose life was very different than my own. She had 5 young children, a full time job and was super involved at church. I specifically remember her telling me in tears that she could barely find the time to spend with God. As I look back on that conversation, I can remember my heart’s response in thinking-“ you make the time for what’s important in your life”. I didn’t allow the words to leave my mouth. Perhaps I knew it was the wrong attitude to have toward this sweet lady because all the while God was whispering to my heart~"Charisse. Have compassion, have understanding. Remember." But my judgmental heart chose not to. So He reminded me. Within just a few short months my youngest went off to college, my oldest had our first grandchild, her husband (who was going to be the main caregiver of their newborn) got a full time job and I became the full time nanny/grandma. It was like becoming a new mom all over again, except with half the energy. Add to it, Pastor’s wife and mom to four adult children and it was hard. Very hard. I love my precious granddaughter so much, but I’m not going to lie and tell you how much I loved this new nanny role I was put in. I didn’t. I know that sounds absolutely horrible and I hate to even admit it. People would always comment~ “isn’t being a grandparent amazing?” In my coma-like state I would smile and nod, but deep down inside I just wanted to cry. All. The. Time. My life was turned completely upside down. It took a long time for God to change my heart and show me this was His plan and once I accepted that, everything changed. Grace filled my heart. I loved my life. (And 6 years later, I’m still babysitting both granddaughters daily, and still loving it) In the mean time, it was a struggle. I’m not a morning person, but was thrown into very early mornings full of baby busyness right from the get go. 5:30am came too quickly and 10pm couldn’t come fast enough. There were long days of constant crying (both baby and grandma) and absolute, pure exhaustion. I had every intention of getting alone with God before going to sleep each night but my evenings were filled with church activities or family plans and I couldn’t seem to catch up or catch a breath. I resorted to plastering notecards with Bible verses all over my house, setting alarms throughout the day reminding me to pray and once in bed, trying to talk to God, but falling asleep the minute my head hit the pillow. God taught me a valuable lesson through all of this. Too often we as women can become very judgmental. We look at other women and think we know exactly how they should be living, eating, dressing, marriage-ing, raising their children and even worshipping. We don’t put ourselves in others shoes, so sometimes God has to shove our feet into those shoes Himself. They’re never a nice comfy pair of slippers but more like a brand new pair of leather stilettos~tight and uncomfortable, maybe even painful. The thing about tight leather shoes is~ the longer they’re on our feet, the more they soften and conform. God might have to put us in uncomfortable, and maybe even painful circumstances, to soften our hearts toward others. To conform us to His image. To help us have compassion. Yes, we most definitely should “make the time for what’s important” in our lives, and God should be at the top of our list, but we should also remember that only God can see and know the hearts of others. Only God understands the circumstances they are in. The shoes that God put on me were very tight, uncomfortable and even painful but He opened my eyes to what others might be going through and He filled my heart with compassion. He whispered to my soul that it was ok to fall asleep at night. He wasn’t disappointed in me. He understood and showed me that taking care of that grandchild was the most important thing He wanted me to do at the time. Don’t be so quick to judge. Learn compassion. Stick your feet into some tight leather shoes for a while and have a little more understanding~ or God may be picking out some stilettos a few sizes too small just for you. 😉 Jude 1:22 I Peter 3:8 I John 3:17
6/25/2016
Not Too Far From HereToday my husband will be doing the funeral for our dear neighbor, Rose Storm. This past year, any passerby might look at Rose's beautiful, picture perfect home and gardens and not think twice that heartache was within that home's beautiful walls. Rose lost her husband to cancer and shortly afterward found out that she had cancer and didn't have long to live. Not only was she going through the heartache of missing her husband, but also the heartache of knowing she would die soon and say goodbye to her children forever. To all appearances, you would never know. This is the very thought that burdens my heart. I am often too guilty of it myself. Our busy lives, wrapped up in the many "to-do's". We drive down the streets in our neighborhoods and rarely give a second thought to the homes and the people that live in them and the needs they might have. Even in our day to day lives~ the cashier at the store, the mom on the soccer field, the waitress at the restaurant, the grandma on her front porch~all of them could be going through some type of heartache that we know nothing about. We get so busy, we don't take the time for a kind word and smile or an invitation to church or a note of encouragement. I read a quote that said "If the devil can't make us bad, he will make us busy." All the things that take up our time might not be bad things at all, but they can blind us to the hurting souls of those around us. The souls Christ loved so much that He died for. Christ never called us to be super moms or wives. He never told us to make sure our kids were involved in every sport and activity or stay so busy we never sit down as a family for a meal. He called us to look on the multitudes with compassion. To love as He loved. Today as you drive past your neighbor's homes, look at each with open eyes and open hearts. Slow down. Think. Pray. And when you finally get home after a day of"busy"remember~
someone needs Christ's love not too far from here.
4/16/2016
It's Okay To Ask For PrayerI'm not really the healthiest person. It's always bothered me. I wanted to be one of those moms full of energy who played with their kids non stop, kept a spotless home, cooked amazing meals and still worked out like a champ every day. So not me. I've had stomach problems since I was in high school. I was hospitalized and went through so many tests and so much waiting. For years. I eventually found out it was Celiac disease, but not until Michael was a senior in high school. I've had cysts on my ovaries that Drs thought were cancerous. More waiting. I've had so many mammograms with bad results and biopsies and more waiting. I had migraines every month that lasted for a week and sometimes longer. I've had a hysterectomy due to a small mass on my uterus that looked cancerous. I've had mono 4 times and combined with the Celiac, I now have chronic fatigue. I said all that to say this. I have had a lot of scares when it comes to my physical body. A lot of waiting on test results. A lot of crying and asking God what was wrong with me. A lot of nights laying in bed in the quiet darkness wondering if I might possibly die very soon. All of this might sound so trivial in light of what others are actually faced with physically on a daily basis, but in that moment of waiting time can seem to stand still and worry can creep in. In times of waiting I have had to put my trust completely in my Savior. I have had to ask Him to comfort my heart, to hold me in His arms, to help me not to worry. It hasn't always been easy but every time I have cried out to Him, He has given me His comfort. He has given me a peace in my heart that no matter what, He was in control and He loved me and everything would be ok, even if that meant cancer and dying. I have many friends right now who are waiting. Waiting on your own test results or those of a loved one. I have been through scares recently with my own children of waiting. I also know that sometimes ladies like to keep things private, but can I encourage you to reach out and ask your fellow sisters for prayer? I know it's because of the prayers of others that I could go through the situations I have been in with a peace in my heart. I could feel your prayers. If you have been through a time of waiting in your own life, reach out to those who are going through it now. Let them know you understand, that you love them and you are praying for them. We need each other. I desperately need prayer on a daily basis. I truly believe the things we face can be used for God's glory. They can help us draw closer to Him and they can help us to have a more compassionate heart towards others. We all need compassion. In times of desperation, we all need that peace that passes understanding and the knowledge that others love us, understand and are praying. If you are waiting today, please know that God is with you. Allow Him to hold you and when you feel that you can't take another step, allow Him to carry you. And know that you are loved and you are prayed for.
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