1/12/2024
An Ache In Your SoulI didn’t think I was going to write a post this week because,
quite honestly~I didn’t want to. I recognized the lack of motivation for what it was, even though I tried to push it aside. After posting two articles on living life to the fullest, somehow melancholy got the best of me. The fact that I’m a homebody didn’t help. I absolutely LOVE to stay home and I would never get tired of it. Give me a snow storm, a cozy fire and a hot cup of coffee, and I’m a happy girl. But when I want to shut the world out and shut myself in, when I recognized that all I wanted to do was sit in front of that fire with my coffee and not have to think about or do anything, I knew something had to change. The problem was, I didn’t want to change. I knew why I was unmotivated and melancholy. Because I’m tired. And because there was an ache in my soul. I have mentioned this before, but I’m that girl that just pushes her sad feelings down. I keep pushing and pushing until they reach my toes, because I don’t want to be unhappy. And I definitely didn’t want to be unhappy at Christmas. So, I went to bed late, I got up early. I stayed busy. I pushed the thoughts aside. I pretended. And it was exhausting. I was missing my friend, and my heart hurt deeply for her husband and daughter. Memories of going through that with my own dad came crashing in on me. Christmas memories surrounded me, and made me miss my parents even more. The ache of sadness wanted to push at me constantly, so instead I pushed it away~ and I kept pushing. And yesterday I realized I needed a reality check. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that I didn’t want to write a blog post for Saturday, but the little bit of OCD I have was eating away at me. I have never missed writing a post since I started this page. I couldn’t miss now. And that’s what God used. He uses everything, right down to the tiniest detail to get our attention. God knew I needed rest. I am weak. I’ve been here before and He knows I’ll probably be here again and again. In all His beautiful understanding and infinite mercy, God gave me that time to rest in my own way, and then He told me it was time to get myself up, brush myself off and get back in the fight. God works in the most amazing ways. Over the holidays I had neglected to read devotionals sent to my email. Yesterday as I sat in front of my fire, I decided to read them. I’m sad to admit that it wasn’t because I was getting myself back up and brushing myself off. There was nothing spiritual about it. Once again, it was because of that little piece of OCD in my brain. I wanted to clean up my emails. Simple, regrettable fact. And once again, that’s what God used. A paragraph jumped off the page at me with the words from my friend Linda~ “Why do I write? Is it for love of my Savior or merely because I enjoy it? Is it to bring Him glory and to magnify Him because I'm so in love with Him? That's what He wants. That's what He deserves. That's how He loves me.” I love to write. There’s nothing wrong with that fact, but this week, in my melancholy state, that was my only motivation. Before I read her words, I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to post anything this week. My heart kept telling me there was nothing worthy to give. How could I impart any spiritual wisdom to anyone when I didn’t feel any motivation whatsoever? When I read her words, I realized~ God is my motivation. Jesus is my worth. Not my love for writing, my love for Him and in turn~ for all of you. There isn’t a whole lot of spiritual insight here. Me, spilling my heart out. Just a friend talking to her friends. Sometimes it doesn’t take profound words for God to move. Sometimes it just takes raw honesty and a heart that listens and whispers “I understand. I’ve been there. I love you and I’m praying for you”. Words that tell you that whatever you are going through, you aren’t alone. Words to remind you that God will never leave you, that He will always be there waiting for exactly the right time to say~ “Okay my daughter, it’s time to pick yourself up, brush yourself off and get back in the fight. Let’s do this. Together.” SCRIPTURE READING: Matthew 22:37-3 2 Corinthians 4:6-9 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 1 Peter 5:10-11
1/5/2024
How To LiveLast week, I told you about my friend. My friend whose husband had been diagnosed with an illness and given 3 years to live. My friend who had joy, and encouraged me despite her darkness. My friend who told me to live every day to the fullest~ one day at a time.
My friend who unexpectedly got her own diagnosis a month later. My friend who is now home with Jesus and whose husband is now a widower. My friend who taught me how to die. I have stood at the side of many death beds in the last 25 years. Too many. Each time there was a glimmer of hope that a miracle would come and each time, the miracle we were asking for did not come. When death lingered at the door, many were too weak to speak to me. Many were on medication to ease pain, and many just slept. Because there was always that measure of hope for recovery, I never truly had an opportunity to talk candidly with any of them about their imminent departure from this world. Until now. So many of my fellow Christian’s have shown me how to live. How to be lights for Christ in a dark world. How to overcome heartache and sorrow and live in the joy of the Lord, but no one really teaches you how to die because no one truly knows how they will react until they are put in that situation. It’s a morbid thought. No one wants to think about death at the beginning of a brand new year, but death is no respecter of time or person. And therein lies the importance of choosing to use our time wisely~living each day for the glory of God~ because none of us know when our appointment with death is. My friend certainly didn’t. Romans 8 tells us that our bodies are already dead because of sin. If we have accepted God’s gift of salvation, our spirits are alive because of Christ. Not just here on earth, but for eternity. What a season to grasp this lesson. A season of new beginnings, of hope, of life eternal. Because without the lowly birth in a manger there would be no death on a cross, and there would be no hope for us as we face death and eternity. My friend was on her death bed. She had bypassed treatment and although there was some pain, she was coherent. Her focus was on her Savior, on His promises and His goodness in her life. She didn’t speak of fear or uncertainty. She was smiling and laughing, albeit incredibly weak~ she was talking about the excitement of seeing Jesus. She was a light in the middle of so much darkness. And she probably never knew what an impact this had on me, until she was in glory. I asked her to give Jesus a hug for me when she saw Him. I will miss her so very much, and yet I have a peace about her home going. A comfort. Because of how she chose to live her days, she was not afraid when her days came to an end. I thought she taught me how to die. Until now. She didn’t just teach me how to die after all. She taught me how to live. What will you and I teach others in 2024? SCRIPTURE READING: Romans 8:10 Isaiah 46:4, 9-10 Isaiah 45:22 Romans 8:18, 22-28, 31-32, Romans 8:35, 37-39 Psalm 71:3, 5, 8-9, 14-21, 23-24 Psalm 73:23-26, 28 John 14:1-3 2 Corinthians 4:14-18 1 Corinthians 2:9 Philippians 3:20-21 Philippians 4:8 Colossians 3:16-17 1 Timothy 4:12 Matthew 5:16
12/1/2023
God With UsI’m rushing around making the lists, baking the cookies, wrapping the presents, decorating the tree, shopping for gifts, listening to the carols~
And all the while He sits there watching. I don’t stop to talk to Him. Even though He is right there, in the room with me. If I could physically see Him, I would not ignore him. I would fall on my knees. I would stop and talk to Him, and cry with Him, and laugh with Him. I would tell Him how much I miss my loved ones, how excited I am for new grand babies… and how burdened I am for so many of you. He would put His arms around me, and peace would wash over me. I would sing the carols with Him. He would help me decorate the tree, and finish the shopping, and baking, and wrapping and it would be so fun. His presence would fill the room with warmth and light, laughter and joy, and I would fight to keep the tears of happiness from spilling down my cheeks. Every burden lifted. Every tear wiped away. Emmanuel. God with us. And we would sit by the fire at the end of the day and reminisce about memories old, and memories yet to be made. I would talk and talk, and He would quietly listen. And after it all, He would tell me how very much He loves me. I would fall asleep there in His presence, with complete peace~ knowing that everything was right with the world. Why isn’t this our reality? This Christmas let’s change that. Because it can be our reality~ if we so choose. He sits there watching, yet we don’t stop to talk to Him. He is in every room with us as we do every task, as we fret and stress to get it all done. He whispers to our very hearts this Christmas~ Come, give me every burden and I will give you rest. Every tear wiped away. Where warmth and light, laughter and joy fills every room, And all is right with the world. Emmanuel. God with us. “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: In thy presence is fulness of joy; At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.” Psalm 16:11 Psalm 23
Too often I think we take God’s word for granted. When life is good, our bible can sit unopened for days. When life is bad we want answers ASAP, and quite often look to the words of man over the words of God. We want to read a relatable blog post to help us feel better fast. Blog posts like I write every Saturday. I truly believe that God can use humans to uplift, encourage and convict when needed, but I also want to remind you that God’s words are more powerful than any word man could ever write. They are definitely more powerful than any word I could write. My words are the bandaid. God’s words are eternal. They are the medicine that heals and transforms. They are power. Today I want to share some of that power with you. A few weeks back, I woke up one morning and Psalm 23 was immediately on my heart and mind. That same morning~within the hour~ my daughter-in-law sent a text with a song she wanted to share. A song on Psalm 23. I knew God was speaking to me. I will be honest~this hasn’t been a “go-to” Psalm for me like it is for so many. It is such a familiar Psalm, probably one that many of us know by heart. I often overlook its familiarity. I shouldn’t. And so, I got out concordances and study bibles to dig a little deeper. Today I would like us to take a closer look, because I know these words will touch EVERYONE’S hearts in one way or another. There is so much truth, power and encouragement packed into this little chapter tucked away in the book of Psalms. As you read each verse, let it truly sink in. Ask the Holy Spirit to let it change and transform you. It is a beautiful, powerful Psalm. *The Lord is my Shepherd~ a Shepherd takes care of EVERY SINGLE need His sheep have. They are 100% dependent on Him. Philippians 4:19, Isaiah 40:11, John 10:11 *I shall not want~ When I was younger, I used to think that this meant I shouldn’t want “things”, that I should be content with what I have. Now that I have lived life for almost 60 years, I understand it so much better. He has ALWAYS provided for me. I may not have felt it in the moment, but when I look back at every hard situation I have been through, God made sure I had everything I needed. Because He is our shepherd, He will make sure we have everything we need. We will want for nothing that isn’t absolutely needed. Psalm 37:25 *He makes me lie down in green pastures~ green pastures are lush. They are nourishing and they are comforting. When we abide in God’s word and trials come, the Holy Spirit will bring to our minds comforting scripture to help us get through it. John 6:63, 14:26, 15:7 *He leads me beside the still waters~ sheep get startled easily, the presence of Jesus leads us to stillness and rest, away from the chaos and stress all around us and anything that might bring us fear. Revelation 7:17 *He restores my soul~ even the times we find ourselves fearful, or exhausted, He always restores us. “God can restore the joy of our salvation (Psalm 51:12) and bring us back to where we began believing in Him” Sarah Freymuth. Philippians 4:13, Deuteronomy 31:6, Isaiah 40:31, 41:10, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Matthew 11:28, Psalm 31:24, 51:12 *He leads me in the path of righteousness for His names sake~ God will lead us on the correct path no matter how far we stray, all to His glory. “God’s glory is tied to His goodness, and God’s goodness is tied to His name” Sarah Frazer. Psalm 5:8, Ephesians 1:18-19, Isaiah 58:8, Psalm 31:3, 138:7, John 17: 15,17,22-23 *Though I walk through the valley, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me~ Our valley may be the darkest we have ever walked through, but we have the assurance from His word that there is nothing to fear because He is always with us. “Often, our next step isn’t walking forward; it’s remembering who God is. God is loving. God is kind. God is patient. God is just. God is all-capable and all-knowing. God is forgiving. God is generous. God is good. Praying these truths about who God is will comfort us in our panic.” Lysa TerKeurst. Psalm 3:6, 27:1, Hebrews 13:5, Romans 8:38-39 *Thy rod and staff comfort me~ a rod and staff can be for chastisement, but also for leading and guiding. Whatever we are going through, it is ultimately used for our good. This verse takes us back to verses 2 & 3, almost as if we need to hear it again. He will lead us to the paths of righteousness, but He will also comfort us along the way. *Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies~ who or what are your enemies? Your thoughts? Your fears? Your insecurities? Physical ailments? Unrest? People that continually hurt or anger you? Whatever that enemy is that is surrounding you, you can sit and eat at the table of God’s bounty, because He is sitting there with you. This is such a beautiful picture. I can almost see myself surrounded by war on every side, yet sitting at a feast in complete peace. That’s what God can do in our lives. That is powerful. Philippians 4:7, Proverbs 16:7, Isaiah 26:3-4, *Thou anointest my head with oil~ Jesus has covered you in the anointing oil of prayer. What a beautiful thought. Jesus prays for us. Oil is also a symbol for rejoicing, gladness and God’s blessing in jewish society. Psalm 45:7, 104:15, John 17:15, 17, 22-23 *My cup runs over~ we are blessed beyond measure, our cups run over with blessings if we will just open our eyes to see it. James 1:17 *Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life~ God’s goodness will always be with us. Always. Until we take our last breath. His mercy will always pour over us. His compassion and forgiveness will never cease. Psalm 78:38-39, Lamentations 3:22-23, Hebrews 4:16, Ephesians 2:4-7, 1 Peter 1:3 *And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever~ always with God whether here on earth or in heaven one day. An eternity spent with the One who loves us more than anything. John 5:24, Romans 6:23, John 1:12, Matthew 28:20 Such simple truths to cling to~ whether we’re laying in that lush grass of comfort and peace, or walking through the darkest valley~ they literally hold the answer to every circumstance we might face. Preach them to yourself often, dwell on them and hide them in your heart. Teach them to your children and your children’s children. Psalms 71:18, 78:4, 100:5, 102:18, 145:4 The Lord is my Shepherd. Oh the sweetness that promise holds. Why does life feel like a chore to me?
That was my first thought the other morning. I was tired before I even got out of bed. Not wanting to escape the warmth, I laid there thinking back to a time when I used to wake up excited about the day ahead. What happened to that girl? I thought I had it all figured out. I told myself there was just too much on my plate. Too much busyness. Too much weariness. My mind felt like there were a thousand things going on all at once, and I couldn’t make it stop. I wanted it to stop. It was exhausting me. How do I find myself here again? I don’t know how many blog posts I’ve written on this subject, and yet I fall prey to its defeat again and again. Google tells me we have anywhere from 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day. We have 6-7 thoughts per minute. 95% of our thoughts are repetitive, and 80% are negative. Why is that? What feeds that negativity? The world tells me busy is better. It chides me to do it all. I work part time from home. I also have a stitching business. I over stress trying to be a good wife, mom and pastor’s wife. I hold Bible studies and ladies meetings. I schedule and teach and study and pray. I write a blog and run a Facebook page. I create more content, to gain more followers, to encourage more ladies, to have more hope. But somehow along the way, I continually seem to lose my own hope under a pile of busy. And that’s when the devil tells me that I am failing. He convinces me that I don’t want to be a pastor’s wife with ministry responsibilities, I just want to be a plain old wife. I don’t want to create posts or write a devotional every single week. I just want to scroll and be fed by someone else. I just want to be me. I just want to not have to think. And I will be honest ladies, that morning I told God ALL of that. I tried telling Him that I am a homebody, an empathetic introvert who wears other’s heartaches on her sleeve. “Don’t you know this is all too much for me?” I asked. As if He doesn’t know me. And that’s when the Holy Spirit revealed to me that my thoughts had gained control over my heart. My busy schedule and commitments overwhelm my soul. What “new” message of hope I can give to my followers constantly captures my thoughts. The heartache of others is continually on my mind. I find myself thinking about ALL of these things more than I think about GOD Himself. In fact, I’m sure it would be safe to say that 80% of my thoughts are “busy” thoughts, maybe more. That means only 20% of my thoughts are being still with God and thinking about Him. And therein lies the problem. Life has become a chore because I’m not dwelling in His presence and it’s only in His presence that there is fullness of joy. I am trying to be God, instead of resting in Him, surrendering all my thoughts, and days, and moments to Him. I was “taking the yoke”, but I forgot about the “learning” part. That morning Jesus told me~”Take my yoke upon you and LEARN of ME. If you do this Charisse, you will find rest for your soul.” When will I learn? Probably never, this side of heaven. But I sure am thankful for a God who doesn’t give up on me. His mercies are new every morning. The busy won’t ever stop. Life is filled with it. It will continue to pile up, but instead of being under that weight~ we can be on top of it, if we will just learn from God. What have I learned? Here are just a few takeaways~ *To wake up and rejoice before I get out of bed, thanking God immediately for the day ahead, and all He has blessed me with. *Pray about everything, all day long. If a thought comes into my head and I start trying to figure out my own solution, I’ve got to stop. I have to pray about it, because let’s be honest~ God’s solutions are so much better. When I do this continually it helps me to cease from “Charisse’s” works and focus on God. That’s when I find rest. *I meditate on God’s words throughout the day. When I think on God’s words, it pushes the busy right out of my brain. My thoughts are on God, and His peace tells me that He is in control and will take care of whatever has me stressed, anxious, heartbroken or fatigued. His words comfort me and He calms that storm inside my head. *Learn from Jesus. He continually got alone with God. The insurmountable love and burden for a sinful, fallen world was completely on His shoulders and yet, He took the time to rest and be still with His Father. Imagine if our repetitive thoughts~ the ones that take up 95% of our waking moments~ were transformed to think about God and His promises to us? He wants us to rest, but that doesn’t mean He wants us to stop. That voice that’s telling you to quit is from Satan. God’s voice tells us~ Be still. He is God. We are not. Life isn’t a chore. It’s a blessed, joy-filled opportunity to be about our Father’s business. Google might tell me otherwise. The world tells me “I” have to do it all. The devil tells me that “I” am not cut out for the ministry and convinces me that~”I just want to be me, plain old Charisse”~ but GOD… Who am I with God? I am crucified with Christ, YET NOT I, but Christ… In the multitude of my thoughts within me, His comfort delights my soul. SCRIPTURE READING: Philippians 4:4-9 Matthew 11:28-30 Jeremiah 6:16 Psalm 46:10 Hebrews 4:9-12 Psalm 16:7-9, 11 Lamentations 3:22-24 Galatians 6:9 Romans 12:1-2 Galatians 2:20 Psalm 94:19 Let’s think outside the box today. What is your enemy/enemies?
Notice I did not ask “who” your enemy was. Quite often we find ourselves in circumstances beyond our control. Those circumstances cause our hearts to be heavy and our thoughts to spiral, so we look for things to blame for those circumstances. A person that hurt us. A health problem. A financial scare. Watching those we love suffer. Such has been my case for the last few months. My adult children have been suffering, and I’ll be honest~it’s been way too hard. Anxiety and sleeplessness have prevailed. Countless tears have been shed. It’s been discouraging and frightening. It’s been physically and emotionally draining. It’s been me trying to blame the circumstances and problems for all the emotions I just listed. The reality is, the problem has been in my head. The multitude of thoughts within me have been on the problems instead of God’s promises. I realized that this morning. My reading was Psalm 1-8. Very familiar passages. Because I have read these chapters so many times, I actually had the fleeting thought that they would not bring me the comfort I was desperately needing today. But just like God always does, my eyes were opened once again. Let me break it down for you. Psalm 1:2~’His delight is in God’s word and he meditates on it day and night.’ I immediately realized I have been meditating on the darkness my kids have been walking through, and trying to somehow find a way to fix problems or bring them comfort, instead of meditating on God’s words and leaning on them. Psalm 3:1&2~’There are so many that trouble me, rise up against me and convince me that God will not help.’ So often when we read the Psalms, particularly verses like these, we think of physical people. Here is where I want you to think outside the box. What if you added~ Many “thoughts” trouble me. Many “thoughts” rise up against me. Many “thoughts” convince me that God cannot help. Because~ isn’t that the truth? God tells us over and over again that He loves us. He will help us. His plan is for our good. He will never leave us. But we let the enemy, our thoughts, convince us otherwise. *Our enemy called discouragement. *Our enemy called fear. *Our enemy called sadness. *Our enemy called unbelief. *Our enemy called hard. *Our enemy called anger or loneliness. *Our enemy called tired, depleted and empty. *Our enemy that tells us we can’t do this. We can’t go on. That it’s hopeless. Psalm 3:3~’But’. I’m so thankful for that little word, because it brings hope. ‘But God. God is our shield, our glory and the lifter up of our head.’ This verse really struck me. My daughter just had a baby girl 2 weeks ago. As my husband was holding her, she kept trying to hold her head up to look at him. We were amazed at the strength she had for only being 2 weeks old, but eventually her tiny self could not keep up. She let out the sweetest little cry and then she just laid down against my husband and in all that coziness, she fell fast asleep. You know where I’m going with this. When my feelings tell me that things will never look up, God literally just told me ‘He is the lifter up of my head’, not me. He is my strength when my tiny self has no strength. And then… Psalm 3:4&5~’I cried to God and He sustained me and I slept in peace.’ It isn’t until I realize all the things above that sleep and peace will come. It isn’t until I cry out to God and realize that it is He who holds me and sustains me and that I cannot do it myself, that I can lay down against Him and in all that coziness, rest in His peace. Psalm 3:6&8~ And that’s when I realize that ‘I don’t have to be afraid of ten thousand thoughts’ that enter this mama’s mind and fight against me. Because God is my strength and salvation. He is my children’s strength and salvation. His blessings are upon us. There is so much more here~ Psalm 4:1~God gives us relief when we are in distress. Psalm 4:3~The Lord has set us apart and will hear when we call. Psalm 4:4&5~I can be still when I put my trust in God, even when the thoughts creep in and say, ‘Will things ever be good again? Who will help me?’ Psalm 4:6~I know God will. His light will break through all the darkness and shine on me and my children. Psalm 4:7&8, 5:11&12~And God will put gladness and joy in my heart again. Sleeplessness will be replaced with joy. Psalm 5:3~And in the morning, I will look up at God, but things will be different because I won’t be trying to do it in my own strength anymore. He will be holding me.
6/23/2023
Are You Under AttackSatan knows when the best time is to attack. Each of us have our triggers. Maybe it’s loneliness, or something deep within that no one else knows about. For some, it might be the work place, for others it might be family. For me, it’s the dark of night.
Sharing this is something that I wrestled with. I haven’t wanted to. Maybe one day I will tell the whole story, but for today I will just share a part… During the day time hours it’s easy for me to feel like “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. It might not always be easy to fight battles, but my heart and my mind know what the truth is. I can think logically. I can get in God’s word. I can pray, quote scripture and listen to worship music. But in the middle of the night, when my brain is in a fog and I’m half asleep~that’s when satan strikes. Often. I get up 2-3 times a night. Old age and 4 kids. Always, I stumble into the bathroom. The entire world is dark and quiet, and even though I am half asleep~ thoughts immediately spring up into my head out of nowhere. My defenses are down and I am not prepared for the battle. And it’s a big one. A battle of doubt that wages against everything I’ve ever believed. And it’s scary. And it’s very hard to admit. Today I want to mention some things that have helped me through this. Maybe you don’t have the same issues that I do, but maybe you’re fighting different battles and you feel helpless and alone. Maybe scared. I pray these things can help and encourage you to fight with your everything, and to remember that God is always, always for you. There are no weapons that are stronger than He is, because our weapons aren’t carnal. They’re spiritual and they will pull down the strongholds that battle against us. He will always fight for us. For me, the time of the attacks is what makes them hard. 2-3 times, night after night. Let’s be real here, in my sleepy state I am not going to do a Bible study on the toilet in the dark. I’m not going to blast worship music and wake up my husband. Quite often I just want to go back to sleep, and I’m not thinking logically. So, what’s a person to do in that situation? Be prepared ahead of time. Here are some things that can help you with your battle, especially when the attack hits you out of nowhere. 1. Remember. It doesn’t matter what the situation is or where you are, you can remember the goodness of God on your life. In the past, in the present and in the future. If Jesus is your Savior, you will one day be in glory with Him. That alone can help sustain us. So when that attack happens, and it will happen, start thanking and praising Jesus for EVERYTHING. Every single thing that comes into your heart and mind. Remember our God of the Bible. He is your God too. Remember His faithfulness. Recall it. Say it out loud. Remember. 2. Read. Stay in God’s word and hide it in your heart. When an attack happens, you don’t have the luxury to say to Satan- “Can you hold on a minute while I get out my Bible and look up some verses?” Know God’s truths. Memorize them and use them to fight against the lies. An amazing chapter to meditate on is Psalm 119. I listen to it on my bible app every single day as I’m putting on my makeup and preparing for the day. Over and over let His words saturate your heart and soul. 3. Refrain. Stay away from things that can mess with your head, ie television shows, music and social media. For me, the things that my eyes (and heart) take in right before going to bed at night can have a huge impact on how my night goes. We don’t realize how much these things can affect us negatively. Every single day we soak it all in~ sadly, even more than we soak in God’s words to us. This is a huge deterrent to our spiritual warfare. The Holy Spirit will show you the things you need to steer clear of, you just need to listen. 4. Rely and Pray. In my situation there were times this was a tough one, because doubt was my battle field. In those moments all I could do was say the name of Jesus. And that is enough. There is power in His name. Did the doubts magically go away at 2am? No. 4am rolls around and BAM!, I’m hit again. But I will keep saying His name over and over. Why? Because of my first two points. He has always been faithful to me and I know He’s not going to stop now. His word is His promise. God helped me in ways I could never imagine. My heart was saying “Lord I believe, help my unbelief.” And He did just that. In amazing ways that bring tears to my eyes. And every night, I remember. Be prepared for the battle. Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks. Prove all things. Hold fast that which is good. Faithful is he that calls you, who also will do it. He will be your Warrior. He will be your Comfort. He will be your Peace. Remember. Read. Refrain. Rely. The battle is already won. SCRIPTURE READING: 1 Thessalonians 5:5-6, 8, 10-11, 16-18, 21-24 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 Psalm 71:18, 77:6, 78:4, 101:3, 102:18, 119, 143:5 Daniel 2:22 I John 5:14-15 Colossians 3:2 Ephesians 6:10-18 Romans 12:2-3 Philippians 2:9-11, 4:13 Mark 9:23-24 John 1:1-5,9, 8:12, 14:18, 26 Hebrews 13:5 Deuteronomy 1:30, 20:4 I Timothy 1:5-14, 6:12 2 Peter 1:12
2/17/2023
So Today, I Talked To God About You.Last January as I was taking down my Christmas decorations, I decided to put my 7 foot Christmas tree away all by myself. My husband wasn’t home that night, but I didn’t want to wait. I found the perfect shelf for it out in our garage, all I had to do was haul it out there and hoist it up on to that shelf.
The shelf was much higher than my head. I was sure I could do it with a ladder and a little gumption. I set the tree bag upright and then climbed the ladder, grabbed the tree and pulled. It was very heavy and awkward, but I managed to get it over my head. That’s when I got stuck. It was too heavy to hoist above my shoulders and onto the shelf, and I began to lose my balance. I couldn’t put it down because if I moved, my balance would be off and I would fall backwards. I didn’t want to risk just dropping it and somehow breaking it. So I stood there on that ladder, holding on to that tree as it balanced on top of my head. My spine began to feel like an accordion, I was all alone, I didn’t have my cell phone and my husband wouldn’t be home for two more hours. I don’t know how much time went by, or how many ideas and scenarios went through my head. (My husband coming home to me lying on the garage floor under a Christmas tree~probably dead~was one of them.) So, how did I get out of it? I think somehow God miraculously helped me because when I didn’t think there was any possible answer for the situation I found myself in, I prayed. Why is it so often our last resort? Maybe I felt like it was hopeless. Perhaps I felt foolish going to God about the stupid mess I got myself into~ thinking I could do it all on my own~ but just like that, He answered. He gave me an idea, I tried it and within minutes that tree was on that shelf. It seems to me, in my own life I can catch myself doing this same thing. So many loved ones and friends have been going through heartache and it’s a heavy, heavy burden. Add social media to the mix and the barrage of bad news on a daily basis, and you can feel like the weight of it is too much. With friends on Facebook and Instagram and instant access to requests for prayer, often you close your computer feeling utterly heartbroken over the trials many are going through. And you feel helpless. I find myself wishing I could make their pain go away or that I could physically do something, anything to make them feel better. The suffering of loved ones and friends is a constant weight inside my mind. Even as I prayed about what to write to you today, I felt helpless. I asked God how I could help those of you who are reading this, how I could encourage and uplift to make other’s lives a little better. And then I opened His word, and I knew He heard my prayer. He showed me that I can’t fix everyone’s pain. I am not the answer because I am not God. Suddenly I found myself picturing the hundreds of hurting friends, loved ones and acquaintances. And Jesus. Just like the hundreds begging for help in Jesus day. It was never too many. He did not turn any away. Long lines, throngs of people pressing in. And the beautiful compassion of Jesus. And He whispered to my heart~ “Bring them to me. Don’t carry that heavy burden on your shoulders, I will carry it for you, all you need do is bring them to me.” And so, I have. Every time my heart feels heavy and helpless for the needs of many, I bring those needs to Jesus. It might seem like such a small thing, praying for the needs of others when you wish you could physically do something for them, but my friend~ it’s the most powerful gift you can give them. The compassion of Jesus. Maybe you’re trying to fix things on your own, not wanting to wait for help. Maybe your burden is for the heartache of others. Maybe your burden is for your own heartache or maybe you’re just trying to balance life’s ladder, holding all of your baggage and ashamed of the messes you’ve gotten yourself into. There is not one burden we’re meant to carry alone. There is not one burden that is hopeless. As much as I wish I could, there are no fancy words I could pen to magically make everything better, but the needs of many are not meant to rest on my shoulders. When we continue to worry, to think of every worst case scenario, to feel like the situation is hopeless and help is far away, we will end up flat on our backs under the weight of it all, just like I almost did with that tree. God wants us to hand it to Him and trust that He will take care of it. So today, I talked to God about you. He took you. He lifted you up. He set you up on a high place, under the shadow of His wings. A place of peace, where the weight of the world becomes weightless. And I know~ There is no better place for my friend to be. SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 3:3, 28:7, 31:24, 34:17-18, 40:2-4, 61:2, 91:14, 121, 145:18 Ecclesiastes 4:10 Numbers 6:24-26 Matthew 9:36, 11:28-30, 19:26 I Peter 5:7 Isaiah 41:13 Jeremiah 31:25 Philippians 4:6-7
7/15/2022
Religion Does Not Love YouI have this Bible app that I love. I can listen to God’s word with beautiful music playing in the background. It’s normally so comforting, but today it was not. This app also tells you the amount of time you have spent in God’s word each month. My performance was very lacking. When I saw it, I felt like a little girl getting a bad report card. I felt shame. I grew up with a religious view of God. Like the magnificent statues in my church when I was little. Beautiful, but cold. The first time I saw the Wizard of Oz, I imagined that that was what God was like, the Wizard. Scary and unaproachable. Somehow He broke through my view of Him to show me His love and mercy and grace. I had no problem understanding that I was a sinner the first time I heard someone talk to me about Jesus. I knew I did bad things. I may not have committed murder or stolen from anyone, but I knew that I was quite the little professional when it came to lying. And I knew that was wrong. In my adolescent mind, I understood that my sin separated me from God. I wasn’t worthy to come into His presence. Some might think that I was merely scared of God because of that thought pattern I was taught from a young age~the fear of His Kingship. I don’t. I believe the moment that someone opened the Bible and showed me my sinfulness and need of repentance and how very much God loved me~was the moment His Holy Spirit broke through all my barriers and spoke to my heart… because that fear had kept me from believing that He was loving and approachable. That fear had lied to me. The day I understood that His love for me was so incredible was the day that changed my life. I think religion tends to make it too hard. In our human minds we believe it must be a process for us to gain approval, because deep down we understand how bad we truly are. We might not want to admit it, but we know. Here are some facts God wants us to realize~ ~It’s not hard, we need only the faith of a child. How simple is that? ~We are all sinners. ~Our sin separates us from God. ~There is nothing we can physically do to “earn” our way to heaven. ~God loves us. ~God sent His Son to earth to save us from ourselves. To save us from our sins. To save us from hell. To close that gap of separation between us and God. ~God’s Son Jesus was born in a manger and died a horrific death on the cross of Calvary. He took every one of our sins upon Himself that day. Every sin from our past, every sin from our future. ~God’s salvation is a free gift to all, a gift that cost Him everything, a gift that we must receive. It isn’t enough for us to say that we believe Jesus died for us. It isn’t enough to say that we know God is loving and forgiving. In complete repentance and surrender, we must receive His gift. ~What does that look like? A heart that is truly sorry for their sin. A soul that says~ God, I am all yours, please forgive me for my sin and save me. A thankful spirit that praises God for the ultimate sacrifice of His Son’s death on the cross. ~A person that knows God is their Father and they are a child of the King. A prayer that will change a person’s life forever. The complete assurance that you are God’s child for eternity and nothing can change that. I thank God at the age of 12 someone explained that to me. I saw God differently that day. No longer a fearful statue. No longer an unapproachable King. But a Father Who loved me. It’s been over 50 years since that prayer and yet, there are many times that my old religious thought patterns sabotage me. Times I think everything has to be just right before I can have a prayer session with God. Times I convince myself I messed up big time and He is angry with me. Times like today when I feel my performance is lacking. Perhaps for many of my younger years religion was taught more than repentance. Religion more than relationship. Performance over personal. I am sure it was always with good intentions, but God is so much more that a perfect checklist of good deeds that we must do to gain His approval. Too often we miss that in our churches. He is a God Who meets us where we are and it is crazy to me that I am realizing this more and more, the older I get. The many people Jesus went to in the gospels were imperfect sinners just like me. And Oh, how MUCH Jesus loved them. They weren’t religious, they weren’t perfect. They were me, and they were you. He has saved my soul and I know that I will always be His child because the Bible tells me this truth. I also know that I will mess up every day because I am human. Unlike the statues in my old religious settings, God became human for me in the form of an innocent perfect baby. He grew up loving the imperfect and lowly, like me~and He died on the cross for me. During His time here on earth, He knew what it was like to be me and He loves me. And He knows what it’s like to be you. And He loves you too. He understands, He forgives but most important~ He loves. Religion will not save your soul. Jesus will. All you have to do is ask. And for eternity you remain His child. I will not allow fear to lie to me. The Holy Spirit comforts my heart continually and shows me that my loving Father understands the month I have had, because He has been right here with me through it all. Not only does He understand, but He meets me here in my weakness and He gives me strength and peace. Not based on performance. Based solely on His incredible love for me. That’s Who my God is, and today I needed that reminder. I am not worthy because of religion. I am not accepted because of performance. I am loved because of Jesus. No matter what. Religion does not love you. Jesus does. I was upstairs brushing my teeth when I heard it. My husband was still downstairs, and as he left the den he said~ ”Alexa, turn off the lights please.” “PLEASE!?” He said “please” to Alexa. 😂 In case you aren’t aware, (according to Google) Alexa is a ‘virtual assistant technology smart speaker.’ My rough and tough husband said please to a little, non human speaker. (I love him so much 🥰) I started laughing so hard that I had to sit down. I wasn’t sure he even realized he said it, so I didn’t bring it up. The next night as we were both heading upstairs, he again asked Alexa to turn off the lights. I stopped and looked at him~ and I knew he knew. He was trying to hide the smirk on his face. He innocently asked “what??” Trying not to laugh I responded “you forgot to say please.” And we both burst out laughing. The whole Alexa incident got me thinking about our lives and all the technology and answers that are right at our fingertips. You can Google anything nowadays and get an answer in minutes. As long as it is plugged in, I can ask Alexa a question and get an immediate response. Somehow this need for immediate results has crept over into our spiritual lives. We want answers from God right NOW. Technology has wonderful benefits, but when it comes to the way we think and perceive life, it can have its downfalls. The news is constantly bombarding us with the horror this world throws at us~ all within minutes of when it happened. We fear. We self diagnose. We binge watch. We covet. We buy more. We fear more. We get depressed. We worry. Mental health has spiraled downward. And then we end up questioning God’s love for us. My daughter and I were having this conversation a few weeks back. She made the comment that she didn’t think God ever intended for us to have this much information at our fingertips 24/7. I remember responding that ‘back in the day, all a woman had to think about was taking care of her family and Jesus. Eyes and heart always on the Lord, because nothing else was around to take His place’. It’s time for us to get back to loving God. A tender, fervent, personal love. Get back to digging deep into His word. Get back to seeking Him with our whole heart. Get back to giving our families to Jesus and raising them to love Him with their everything. Get back to talking to Him continually. Asking Him for the answers. Trusting Him for the outcomes. Being still in His presence and having faith in His unbelievable love for us. A love that is ALWAYS for us and NEVER against us. A love that can’t be measured or bought. A love freely given because of His Son. (John 15:10, Romans 8:31-39, Ephesians 2:8-9, 3:18) We are too wrapped up in today. (Revelation 2:4) ‘Loving God with our everything’ has become a passing Christian phrase with no real meaning. And because our love has waned, our laughter has been lost. We often treat God like He’s Alexa, and quite often we don’t even say please. We have forgotten that the joy of the Lord is our strength and in His presence is fullness of joy. (Nehemiah 8:10, Psalm 16:11) Today I want to encourage you to take a sabbatical from technology. From our phones and laptops and kindles. From the 24 hour news. From binge watching. From Amazon and Google. From Alexa. This summer focus on being still in His presence and growing in our love for our Savior. When we are plugged into His power, He will give us all the answers we need. We will find rest in His presence, comfort and peace. And our laughter will return. When I think about that night my husband spoke to Alexa, I smile when I recall his words but I laugh when I remember the laughter we shared together. When I look back on my life I don’t want to remember all the bad. I want to remember my soul being filled with laughter. My greatest happiness being loved by my Savior. A life completely filled up with the joy of the Lord. (1 Peter 1:8) Long summer days await us my friend. Feed your soul. Fill those days with the love of God and with laughter. (Psalm 16:8-9, 11, 89:15-17, 94:19, 126:2-3, Romans 5:5, 8:38-39, Ephesians 3:16-19, Philippians 4:4, )
3/4/2022
Don’t Stop PrayingIt has been an emotional week.
My dad has been gone for a little over a year and yet, thoughts of his passing have come to the forefront of my mind for no particular reason. At times I can hardly wrap my mind around it. My dad went home to heaven the day after the funeral of one of our dearest friends, who had unexpectedly passed away just the week before. The friend whose birthday would be this Monday~the day before my dads. They entered this earth a day apart and left this earth a week apart. Thoughts of the trials my children have faced, and continue to face have also weighed on me. Thoughts of missing my sister-in-law as I watch her son get married tonight have brought tears of happiness mixed with tears of sorrow. And then, thoughts of the horrors other countries are facing have been a constant, even as I write this. I have struggled with what to post this week. I have prayed and asked God for words to encourage, and yet He has been silent. And I couldn’t understand why. I wondered if perhaps he didn’t want me to write a thing. Certainly I don’t want to post some cliche story that God never intended I share. Sometimes you may wonder why continual “bad” hits you from every direction and God seems to remain silent. Here’s the thing. For me, He hasn’t been silent. He has been speaking to my soul, but my mind was screaming too loud to hear Him. My eyes were focused on the emotions I was feeling instead of on Him. My scripture reading landed on Job this week. I’ll be honest, I didn’t want to read it. I complained. I told God I needed something uplifting, but He knew exactly what I needed. Quotes that I had scheduled a month ago popped up on my Holding Hope page all week, and it still didn’t hit me. Quotes suggesting I pray about what my mind wanders to. Quotes reminding me to keep praying, even if all I have left is a whisper. (1 Thessalonians 5:17, Philippians 4:6) Quotes that told me to just Be Still. (Psalm 46:10) My mind was anything but still. My thoughts were running a marathon inside it. But today in the tiny moments of quiet I had, I prayed again. I finally heard Him. His whispers through the cracks of distractions touched my heart. (I Kings 19:11&11, Matthew 14:28-30) He kept telling me to be still and as much as I argued that I was being still, I knew deep down I wasn’t. So I stopped. I stopped trying to figure out all the answers on my own. I stopped and I just sat. I sat on my bed and I asked Jesus to sit with me. Just to sit there and hold my hand and still my heart. (Matthew 28:20, Jeremiah 29:11) And He did. And He told me to tell you to do the same. How easily I allow circumstances to weigh me down and steal my peace and joy as I wonder what’s going to happen. How easily I miss my loved ones and fall into a sadness I don’t want to climb out of, instead of realizing the comfort and hope of heaven.(1 Thessalonians 4:13) How easily I try to control situations and find myself in continual unrest. How easily I focus on the bad and miss all the good. I miss Him. We’re all looking for hope. For answers. We scroll through social media looking for that quote or devotional that will give us those answers we’re seeking. We even open our bibles, as if a verse will magically appear to answer our “whys”. God often uses all of these things to help those in need, myself included, but sometimes in the looking we are striving in our flesh to find the answers that only God knows. Sometimes the answer is simply Him, and that’s all we need to know. (Hebrews 6:18 & 19) Once we get to the place of that realization our eyes are opened. We see life through Him and in His stillness, everything is changed. We suddenly understand that we don’t have to know all the answers, we just need to be still with Him. (Ephesians 1:18) Don’t stop praying sweet friend, even if it feels like God is silent. He is not. Keep seeking Him in the stillness until His stillness pushes out all the distractions and it is just you and your Savior~ And through faith, you once again see your life through His eyes. The eyes of of Him who loves you and gave Himself for you. (Galatians 2:20, 2 Corinthians 4:17 & 18)
10/2/2021
Glory! Glory! Glory!Our sweet uncle David went home to glory on Thursday evening. As I prayed about what to post, this particular one came to mind immediately. I had written it a few weeks back as an encouragement for those who might be going through a personal darkness. For those whose mind is racing when the rest of the world is fast asleep. And for those who might not be able to sleep, even though they are physically exhausted. It is something that I often practice. Instead of counting sheep, I go through the alphabet. As I think of each letter, I sing a wonderful, old hymn of faith to each one. I praise God for the words and for who He is and for the peace that only He can give. Sometimes I will go letter by letter and quote verses to match as well. Every time God allows me much needed slumber.
Our uncle David loved music. It was his life~and what a beautiful life it was. I will never forget a particular song that he had picked for the choir to sing one Sunday. I had never heard it before and it moved me beyond words. Years later, I still weep when I hear it~ ”Were You There When They Crucified My Lord.” Today I weep for my Aunt Cindy, for their daughter Chelsea, for our hurting hearts~ but I also weep tears of joy~ for uncle David is now in heaven shouting~ “GLORY! GLORY! GLORY!!” I pray that these old hymns of faith and the simple prayers of praise that accompany them will help you focus on praises to your Savior and will bring comfort, peace and much needed slumber to a tired soul today. All Hail the Power of Jesus Name~I praise you for the power in your name. Blessed Assurance Jesus is Mine~I praise you for the assurance I have that nothing can pluck me out of your hand. You are mine! What a thought! Calvary Covers it All~I praise you that your blood shed for me at Calvary covers every sin. Past, present and future. Day by Day (and with each passing moment, strength I find to meet my trials here)~I praise you for the strength I find in you through prayer and reading your word. Every Day with Jesus is Sweeter Than the Day Before~I praise you that when I am walking with you, every day becomes sweeter. Face to Face~ I praise you for the day I will see you face to face. When grief and pain are banished, and replaced with rejoicing for eternity. Great is Thy Faithfulness~I praise you that you are faithful, even when my faith is lacking. Have Faith in God~I praise you that even when I feel the darkness winning, you whisper to my tired soul “Have faith in Me”. I Have Decided to Follow Jesus~I praise you for leading me beside the still waters. Jesus Is the Sweetest Name I Know~I praise you that I can call upon your sweet name at any time and in any place. Keeps Me Singing As I Go~I praise you for the song of deliverance you have placed in my heart. Love Lifted Me~I praise you that your love lifted me out of the depths of hell. Make Me a Blessing~I praise you that I get to share your blessings on my life to bless others. Nothing But the Blood~I praise you that your blood washes away every sin. If my eternal destiny were in my own hands, I would utterly fail. Oh How He Loves You and Me~I praise you for a love that transcends any human idea of love that I have ever had. Peace, Peace, Wonderful Peace~I praise you for the peace you give me that passes all understanding. Quiet Rest (Near to the Heart of God)~I praise you that you are not a far away God, but a loving Father who is right here with me in the darkness. Revive Us Again~I praise you that I can call upon your name and lift this country that I love so dearly in prayer to you, asking you for revival. Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus~ I praise you for the freedom to stand up for you daily, despite the wickedness this world may throw at me. Take Time to Be Holy~ I praise you that even among the chaos, I can get alone with you and take the time to be in your very presence. Under His Wings~ I praise you for the shelter, love, protection, comfort and peace that is found under your wings. Victory in Jesus~I praise you for every victory I have in your name and for the victories yet to come. WERE YOU THERE~ I praise you that you rose up from the dead, that you conquered death and that for all eternity I will shout “GLORY, GLORY, GLORY!” eXpress (My Tribute)~I praise you for all the undeserved things You have done for me. The voices of a million angels could not even express my thankfulness. Yesterday He died For Me~I praise you for dying for me, but also for living for me. Zions Hill~ I praise you that one day I will run to you. I will hug you. I will weep for the burdens that have been taken off my shoulders and the freedom I find in your presence. I will fall at your feet on Zions hill in praises to you.
8/27/2021
Don’t Run From Him, Run To HimI found her there, all alone.
Joy filled laughter echoed from the other room. The room she had just left. It didn’t seem logical for a child to leave all that fun behind. To be sitting in the dark, alone. She was staring out the window in complete silence. I wrapped her in a blanket and asked if she was okay. Her tiny face was so forlorn as she looked up at me and whispered~ “I miss mommy and daddy.” My heart melted in that moment. Just like my granddaughter, how often have I felt those exact emotions. My parents are gone now. Somehow, even though I am a grandma, having my dad so close had given me a sense of security. The sweetness of childlike comfort. There are days I don’t want to do the hard stuff, I just want to be that child again. And then I thought about Jesus. When did we make Jesus so hard? So complicated? When did we grow up and turn Jesus into “adulting”? When did humanity turn our Savior and Redeemer into a religion of self reliance where we constantly feel we come up short? When did we begin to believe the lie that we have to be a certain way for Him to love us? That we have to do all the “things” for Him to accept us? Jesus Himself tells us that we need the faith of a child. Not an adult with all the adult complications and responsibilities. A carefree child. What is it about being a child that brings so much comfort? Perhaps the idea of knowing that our parents will take care of everything. When we were tiny beings, we had no responsibilities. We were freely given the gift of life the moment we were born. We did not have to do one thing in order to receive that gift. As infants, our lives were completely and joyously surrendered to our parents. We didn’t have to make the hard decisions. We didn’t have to worry if our needs would be met. When we were born, we didn’t have to perform or be perfect to be loved. We were simply loved because of who we were. But then, things slowly began to change. One day, the innocence shifted. For one reason or another we decided to muster up our four year old courage and pack up our tiny little suitcase with our teddy bears and baby dolls, and we ran away from home. Maybe we made it to the end of our street. Maybe we hid in our backyard for a while. But soon we realized, we missed mommy and daddy and even though we were just a child, we somehow understood how very much they loved us and how much we needed them. We came home, and if we couldn’t find our way, they always found us. But each day the “hard” took over the “carefree” a little bit more. We grew up. We became an adult. And now, too often as adults we are running away from God. God our Father who asks us to simply have the faith of a child. God who wants us to have joy and comfort and peace, simply because He loves us. He doesn’t ask for perfection. He doesn’t ask for performance. He asks for us. Our entire hearts. And yet, we hide. We think we have to be different, better, changed in order to come to Him. We think we have to obey all the rules to be loved. We think we have to do this life on our own. We think we have to “adult” when it comes to Jesus. Oh friend. Unpack your suitcase. Jesus wants you. He wants to give you a new life. A life born into His family. Forever His child. He asks for nothing from you, because there isn’t a single thing you can physically do. Jesus did it all already. He simply wants you. With childlike faith, accept His gift of life. Let your Father make all the hard decisions. Let Him meet all your needs. Let Him love you. Somehow we have convinced ourselves that a life with Jesus is hard. Complicated. If I’m being honest, there are times I fall into that mentality myself. Sometimes I make my relationship with Him too hard. I make life complicated in my own mind. Jesus never leaves me there though. He always finds me. He always comes through for me and I know without a doubt that I could not do this life without Him. Do you find yourself alone, sitting in the dark, missing that childlike innocence and the comfort it brings? You may have tried everything in your quest for happiness. You can hear the echo of laughter from long ago in the background of the years you let slip away. Always running, always searching, yet never finding joy. The joy of just being a child. It’s time to come home. Slip your hand into His. Let Him wrap His love around you like a warm blanket. Don’t lose that childlike wonder. Look up into the face that loves you. Pour out your heart to Him and let Him take away all the “hard”. Or maybe, simply whisper in the quiet~ I miss you.
8/14/2021
I Kept A Secret From My HusbandI had been looking forward to this day for months.
Just like when they were little. Little children, little problems. Today, big children, big problems. And so~ We needed time away. Time to focus on each other. But my heart held a secret from him. The moment we drove away, I missed them all already. (They all live on our block) How could this be? I had felt the need to get away from the chaos for so long. I needed to just be a wife, and not a mom for a short amount of time. He needed me to be just a wife and not a mom for a short amount of time. This has happened time and time again, since they were babies. The chaos gets to us mamas and we become desperate for alone time. Desperate for time away just to gather our thoughts and feel sane again. The crying of little ones, the fighting toddlers, the cleaning and cooking and laundry and endless chores. The noise level and continual talking. The lack of adult conversation. The constant. We feel our minds screaming inside to have some time with our husbands so we can feel like a wife again, like a woman again. But when we finally get it~we miss them and suddenly we can’t remember all the bad, we only remember the good. The soft smell of their little heads, their kisses and hugs, their giggles, their smiles, their unconditional love, their joy at just being in our presence. We remember them snuggled into us, fast asleep and our hearts just want to burst. And when they become adults, that mama life doesn’t get any easier. When your adult children are hurting, the pain in your heart manifolds itself into every area of your life, as does their joy. Even when they’re adults, it’s in a mama’s DNA to take care of her children but you can’t just put a bandaid on all the bad that they will go through. You feel it deeply because you know a kiss and a smile from mom won’t take that pain away any longer. It hurts a mama’s heart to the core. Not only can their hurts lay constant on your heart, but their stresses, their arguments, their jobs and spouses and children… all of it becomes bigger than life and as a mama, your heart just wants to make it all better~but you realize you can’t. And you realize that it takes a toll. It can take a toll on you spiritually and if you aren’t careful, it can take a toll on your marriage. That weight was never meant for a mama to bear, it was meant to be carried by God. You realize your mama’s heart of worry has drowned out the heart of His word and all His promises. And then you know, you NEED that time alone with God, because you aren’t God. You can’t fix everything. And you NEED that time away with your spouse, to reconnect with the one who has been in it with you for the long haul. Who loves your children as much as you do, but also needs that time away. Mama, go away. Go away with God. Go away with your spouse. You will fight it. Your heart will feel guilty and the second you drive away, you will miss them terribly. But you NEED it. Your heart NEEDS it. Your spouse NEEDS it, and you both will be better for it. Figure out a way to get away, and make it happen. He will be a better husband and daddy for it and you will be a better wife and mama. And so~I looked over at my husband as we drove in silence. He was smiling. He had no idea what my heart was feeling. I prayed and God reminded me of how much we needed this. I knew He was right. I needed to let go. I asked God to give my heart peace in leaving it all with Him and focusing on my relationship with Him, and our relationship as a married couple. It didn’t take long. God’s good that way. He gave me a comfort in that moment that this was what was needed. I would return home with a restored soul. With a better appreciation for the beautiful life God has given me. With a deeper love for my husband and a deep peace in my heart. I would be a better mama for it and my marriage would be that much sweeter. So, I reached over, I took his hand in mine and I smiled at him~ Because I knew it already was. When was the last time you laughed?
I mean really, truly laughed, holding nothing back. Laughed until you cried and your sides hurt and you couldn’t breathe? Do you remember the freedom in that? Feeling like just for a moment all the cares of the world were pushed aside and you were free to let go and experience unfiltered joy? (Luke 6:21, Psalm 126:2) If you cannot recall a time like this, perhaps you are living inside circumstances of sorrow, whatever that sorrow might be. Maybe you didn’t even realize you were residing there, until you thought about how long it had been since you laughed in such a way. Maybe you’re sitting in circumstances of your own choosing or maybe you have no control over the sorrow that has enveloped your life. Whatever the case, I don’t want you to be stuck there and more importantly, God doesn’t want you stuck there. A life of being stuck in sorrow is not His plan for you. I’ve looked back at articles I’ve written and realized that I can be a bit emotional at times. When God moves my heart so tremendously, it stirs a deep passion within me to want to share that with others. Phrases I often use are: God loves you so much. God is always with you. God will help you through anything. Allow Him to hold you. Cry out to Him. All of these things are true, but might leave the reader feeling lost and questioning~ but how? And so today, we’re going to start with the first 3 points on our journey through circumstances to joy. I’m going to show you some things that God has used in my own life to pull me out of my sorrow and help me see hope in the joy before me. 1. If you read my Ebook you know that my first point is always the same. The difference in how this point is applied often depends on the circumstances we are in. Whatever the circumstances are, this will always be the most important thing you can do. Ask God for help. (Matthew 11:28-30, Galatians 5:22a) I will never stop asking, even when I know deep in my heart that there are things I need to change. When I know that I should be implementing the steps in this article on a daily basis, but I don’t. When I am too emotionally and physically exhausted to push through and do those things, I continually just talk to God all day long. Even on those days that I fool myself into thinking joy will never come again, so “what’s the point?”~there is one thing I know to be true no matter what~ He will never leave me. He won’t abandon me. He will pull me through this. The Holy Spirit will minister to my heart and comfort me, even when life feels hopeless and joy feels far. God is always trying to help us but too often our circumstances tune Him out. Never stop asking God to help you, even if you feel like He is silent. He is helping you without you even realizing it. (John 14:16,18, Zephaniah 3:17, Isaiah 26:3&4 2. Realize that when you ask for help, the circumstances that follow are God’s way of helping you~you just need to open your eyes to see it. You know what usually makes me happy? Predictable, mundane, day in, day out schedules. Being in control. Knowing that each day holds its tasks and at the end of that day Mike and I will relax on the couch. Maybe we will talk or watch a few of our favorite shows. We will laugh, we’ll go to bed, I will feel fulfilled with what I accomplished that day. I’m that kind of person. I’m a schedule and list maker. I thrive on routine. I’m a control freak. If my house isn’t cleaned up and straightened at night with everything in its place, I can’t relax. I feel uneasy and unhappy. This need to be in control is just as bad as looking at material things for happiness. I’m looking at “the control I think I have over situations” to make me happy and last March when life went out of control and spiraled downwards month after month into continual heartbreak, I lost all control and my happiness along with it. I yearn for predictable and mundane. It’s how I’m wired. The past 3 weeks have been anything but. My dad passed away unexpectedly in October. Working on packing up his things has only been part of the “crazy busy” my life has been. Long days have gone into long evenings right into early mornings and the crazy busy beginning all over again. I found myself thinking I just want a normal day at home. I want to do some laundry, bake some cookies, clean my house, sit in front of my cozy fire drinking coffee or just watch TV! But as I complained about that busyness and thought about my prayer for help, the Holy Spirit showed me that because I have been so busy I haven’t had time to just sit and think. Usually “the sitting and thinking” leads to “the missing and crying”. As my head hit the pillow each night I realized I was so exhausted that I fell asleep quickly, as opposed to laying in the dark crying. And I knew it was God. God was helping me. It might not have been a way I would’ve chosen, it certainly wasn’t an easy way, but it was God’s way and it worked. He knows my crazy, emotional, over thinker brain far better than I do. (Psalm 139:2) Jesus is continually going to God on our behalf and I now wonder how many times through the years I missed the answers to the prayers I had prayed, just because they weren’t the solution I was looking for. (Romans 8:34, Hebrews 7:25) 3. Stop listening to yourself (John 15:11) If God in all His wisdom did not intervene and answer my cries for help, I would be overthinking everything. My emotions are continually telling my brain that things will never change. Because I’m such an emotional person, I too often let my emotions dictate my life. I think all women~ whether they want to admit it or not~ are emotional. Our lovely hormones play a big part in that. When my emotions begin to dictate what my life story is, I start to believe it. I don’t like to admit this, but quite often since my dad died I have been scared. Not scared as in fearful, but scared as in “this unshakeable heaviness and lonely feeling.” Scared as in “this dark cloud of sadness will never go away. I will never see joy again.” The beginning of each day seems to be promising as I open God’s words to me and pray, but as the day slowly creeps by and thoughts bombard my mind, as my emotions kick me over and over again~ I feel as if God is very far away. That scares me. These are the times that we must realize our thoughts are not God’s thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9, Psalms 94:19), Even if we are struggling to believe it, we must go back to point number 1 and talk it out with God. Stop listening to ourselves and listen to what God is speaking over us. (Philippians 3:3) His words are truth, our emotions are not. He isn’t far away. He isn’t there only in the times we set aside to kneel and pray. He is our constant companion. A friend that sticks closer than a brother. A comforter and peace maker. He is the ONLY One who understands with 100% clarity and compassion what our heart is going through. (Psalms 139:1-18, Philippians 2:5, 4:6-7, 2 Timothy 1:7, Proverbs 16:3, Luke 2:10, John 15:11) You can’t simply “choose joy” without God. You can’t wake up and just decide “Starting today, I’m going to be happy” without God. Our strength is not enough. It will never be enough. It doesn’t matter what kind of a personality you have, Satan knows your weakness and he will find a way to steal that joy. Only Jesus is the strength of our joy. Pray about these first few points this week. Ask God to open your heart and your eyes and show you what you’ve been missing. (Nehemiah 8:10) I am so confident in the strength and power of God’s truths and the joy they speak over our circumstances, that I am adding a second post today. Scripture that you can print out and continually read throughout your day to comfort and encourage your heart. You can have freedom from sorrow. You can laugh again~deep, heartfelt, freeing laughter from the depths of your soul. Laughter that comes from unfiltered joy. Laughter that only comes from God and the joy that only Jesus gives. Make that your goal this week. JOY.
10/5/2020
How Is Your Childhood?On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your childhood?
Do you ever have adult days where you wish you were a child again? When sadness, stress and anxiety weigh heavy on your heart? Days when you remember crying in your mother’s arms, and those beautiful arms making everything okay? Being free from the pressure of responsibilities, deadlines and schedules? Not worried about being sick, because mom always took care of you and made you feel better? To just feel that cozy comfort of home? The comfort of being a carefree child again? I do. The other night my husband and I were watching a game show and the question was asked~”how would you rate your childhood?” Mike looked over at me and asked that same question. I didn’t even have to pause. My answer was 10. My childhood was not free from problems and heartache, but no matter what we went through as a family, I knew that I was deeply loved and cared for. My childhood was magical and wonderful and beautiful. My parents made sure of that. It got me thinking of another conversation I had recently with my daughter in law. She was telling a story about her own childhood. A precious memory of her mother that she had. Her eyes twinkled through tears as she spoke~ ...We sat on the couch. I was snuggled in close to my mom as she read to us about Jesus. It was only my little sister and I, but my mom did this every single day. And then we would sing. I watched my little sister dance around the living room, pretending to fly as we sang “Mount Up With Wings As Eagles”. She was laughing and singing and flying, and I was smiling. My childhood heart had no idea that someday this would be such a beautiful memory for me.... Oh mama, there is nothing more important in this world than making your child feel that way. To give them the gift of time. To snuggle in close with them. No phones, no TV, no distractions. Just you and your child and Jesus. The gift of making them feel that magic and wonder, beauty and comfort and love. The gift of them knowing that no matter what, your beautiful arms will make everything ok. There is nothing more precious than teaching them about Jesus, than laughing and flying with them in your living room as you sing about your Savior, than making sure they know that no matter what~ they are deeply loved and cared for. Oh daughter, there is nothing more important in this world than knowing that you are your Father’s child. He holds eternity in His hands, and yet has all the time in the world for you. You are never alone. He is always present. Make the time to snuggle in with Him. No phones, no TV, no distractions. Just you and Jesus. His word will show you the wonder, beauty and comfort of His love. He will give you the gift of knowing that no matter what, His beautiful arms will always make everything ok. He wants you to know that you are deeply loved and cared for. One day when you enter Heaven’s glory, what if Jesus were to ask you~ How was your childhood daughter? Did you know that I sat there next to you on your couch as you cried? Did you know My words of comfort were always available to you? Did you realize that you could have been free from the heavy weight of your sadness and stress, responsibilities and deadlines, if you had only placed them into My hands? I was there through the sickness and pressures of life. I never left your side. You were never alone. Through every problem, through every heartache, you were deeply loved and cared for. How would we answer our loving Savior? Our Father and Friend? Our Protector and Provider? Oh sister, we don’t have to wish we were children again because we are children. We are God’s children. Snuggle in close and read about the One Who holds you in His arms. Laugh with Him. Sing with Him. Mount up with wings like eagles. Run without getting weary. Walk without fainting. Wait on Him. He will renew your strength. He will make everything okay. Yes, snuggle in. Smile and feel that childlike wonder, magic and beauty all over again. How is your childhood dear mother, dear sister, dear daughter of God? Close your eyes and remember. Remember what it felt like to be a child, then let your Savior pick you up and take you back. Feel the cozy comfort of home. The comfort of His love. The comfort of being a child again. Isaiah 40:31 Hey Moms, you’ve been on my heart a lot lately.
Especially moms of little ones. A few months back when our lives were suddenly turned upside down and parents were forced to stay at home with their kids, I began seeing posts from mothers that really surprised and sometimes saddened me. To be honest some of them made me wonder why some women became a mom to begin with. Staying at home with their kids was driving them crazy. Please don’t get the wrong idea, I understand crazy. My own kids have driven me to that point many times (and sometimes still do.😂) I’m not trying to portray myself as some super mom. I can’t even tell you the amount of times I lost it with my own kids (just ask them), and as I look back I can say without a doubt that ‘feeling sorry for myself’ had a big role in some of those moments. Being a mom is hard work. I understand that. It’s stressful and overwhelming and exhausting, and moms everywhere need breaks and some “me time”. We have to be so careful though. When we start to look inward and listen to those thoughts that continually whisper to our tired souls~”what about me?” Pretty soon those thoughts aren’t whispering. They’re screaming. And thats when the crazy hits us. With that being said, I would like to encourage you on how to get your sanity back. I could probably write a book on all the things I wish I had done differently as a mom. Today will be some basics. Let’s say page 1 of chapter 1. 😂 I’ll warn you right now, it’s going to take some work~mentally and physically~and I know what all you exhausted moms out there are thinking~ I don’t want to work at anything right now!!! I want a maid and a cook and a babysitter and twelve straight hours of sleep. And some chocolate. No tantrums, no dirty diapers, no potty training, no children in bed with me, no laundry surrounding me on my couch or dirty dishes in my sink. No sticky fingers and faces and toilet seats. No work~PLEASE. And that my sweet mamas is what takes me directly to point number 1~ 1. Go to God and ask for help. Right now. Stop reading and ask Him to help you. I’m serious. Just put your phone down and plead to Him for help. Whether you feel like you’re doing fine with this mothering thing or whether you’re in the middle of the chaotic crazy. Stop and ask. If you don’t do this, the rest of this post won’t help you at all. We as moms have to realize we cannot do this mom thing without God’s help. Whether you’re pregnant right now, have a newborn, toddlers, teenagers or college students~ or even if you are a grandma~ you never “arrive”. You need God’s help and guidance every step of this motherhood journey, until you step into Heaven. 2. With that being said, my second tip would be prayer and time with God. I’ve written a lot of posts on prayer and if you go to my blog and type prayer in the search bar, I’m sure you will find many. I know how hard it is to find the time to pray when you’re a mom of little ones, but sometimes I think we look at prayer completely wrong. We think that we have to have this “holy time” set aside; alone in our rooms, kneeling by our bed, devoting complete attention to God. When you’re a mother of little ones, you know that won’t ever be a reality. So, here’s what I want you to think about. Do you love your children? Of course you do. When they come to you, do you tell them they have to make an appointment to talk to you so that you can devote your entire attention to them? Of course not. Your children come to you ALL DAY LONG. You answer their questions, you provide comfort and nourishment. You provide love. That’s how it’s meant to be with God. Moms need to realize that God is right there with them ALL DAY LONG. You can go to Him anytime and He will listen. He will help you with your questions, He will comfort and nourish your soul. He will love. Not only should you ask God to help you, but it is never too early to begin praying for your children. From the time the THOUGHT of starting a family enters your head, it should be bathed in prayer. It doesn’t matter how old they are, never stop praying for your kids or asking God for help in raising them! We cannot do it in our own strength because many times moms of little ones have no strength left to give. We have to rely on God. He is the one Who will give us the energy to be the moms we need to be for our children. 3. Next, I want you to switch your focus off of yourself. When your little ones don’t give you a moment’s peace. When you hide in the bathroom and tiny hands are knocking and little voices are shouting “mommy, mommy, mommy”. When your newborn is crying all night long~ when all of these things overwhelm you and your exhausted mind starts screaming~”what about me?” I want you to think about the thoughts that are running through your mind at that moment and then think to yourself~ what if my Savior had these same thoughts about me? When I’m asking Him to help me ALL DAY LONG. When I’m sometimes shouting “Father, Father, Father” because I just can’t do it alone. When I can’t sleep at night and I’m crying out to Him. He always, always, always gives grace. Give your children some grace. Don’t feel sorry for yourself and snap at them. They are children. They aren’t adults. They don’t understand hard mommy days, they don’t understand mommy and daddy fights, they don’t understand when you’re bent over the toilet with morning sickness and they’re hanging on your neck telling you that they love you (Jessica 😊). They don’t understand the stress of a pandemic or worry over their futures. They don’t understand. All they know is that you are mommy and YOU ARE LOVE and that’s what they need. Show them grace. Show them love. Just like your Heavenly Father does for you. 4. With that out of the way, now I DO want you to focus on yourself haha. Show YOURSELF a little grace. Every mom needs a little “Me time” for her own sanity. Whether you leave for a half hour to take a walk or a ride, whether that looks like grocery shopping for you or a hot bath, whether it’s time alone with friends or time with your husband, or time just sitting in your car alone in the driveway. You need TIME, but not before God time. Stay in God’s word and pray. This goes back to point number 2. If you don’t ask God for help and find little snippets of time to be with Him, your “me time” won’t make one bit of difference. You will return home to the chaos and crazy, and immediately lose it all over again. Remember to not only talk to God all throughout your day but also remember His promises to you. Promises from His word. It’s hard to find that time with God to actually read the Bible when you have little ones getting up at the crack of dawn, on top of a newborn that spent the whole night crying. The exhaustion is just overwhelming and your eyes can’t even focus on your coffee cup, let alone God’s word. Something that has always helped me is to find promises from God’s word, write them or print them out and place them strategically around your home. They will be constant reminders of God’s love for you. Put them above your kitchen sink, on your fridge, next to the changing table or toilet (your escape ie~”mommy is going potty, go away) or on your mirror to remind you first thing in the morning. Doing this will uplift your soul and encourage you no matter how tired you are. If you put this into practice and then you take some “me time” you will return home refreshed with a new outlook and more patience and grace for your little ones (and for your husband). By talking to God and staying in His word, His love will continually fill all the tired, empty spots and push aside all that crazy. When you return home from time away, you will be able to pour that love right back into your family, no matter what you return home to. Sticky kisses and toilet seats included. God understands that we are only human. Don’t ever allow yourself to feel guilty for taking some time for yourself. It will make you a better mommy to those little ones and a better wife to your husband. Like I said, these are only some brief points on motherhood and those beginning crazy years and I have some good news, if you think it’s crazy now, it’s only the beginning ha ha. But if you strive to make it a habit to put these points into practice, the years ahead will be so much easier for you because you will have that foundation and you will know that God is right there by your side, helping you along the way. Remember, this parenting thing will be different for everyone. Don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t like that “other mom”, you know~the one that is perfect and has her life all together. You be you, the perfect mom God created for your children. Ask God for help. Stay close to Him in prayer and through His word. Show grace to your children and to yourself. I promise it will change your life.
5/25/2020
Nothing About This Is NormalNOTHING ABOUT THIS IS NORMAL
2 minute read Last year’s home was gone. The tall evergreen had been cut down. The tree she had made her home in every single year. It had been a hard winter. The wind off the water had been brutal, continually knocking down the only trees left, the fake ones my dad put on his porch that overlooked the lake. The trees that now gave life to the porch area, despite not being real. They lay half toppled over, waiting to be picked up and placed aright again. Waiting for the sunshine to replace the snow~even though it was May. It was Mother’s Day and yet, even though they lay in a crumpled bunch, even though nothing about this Mother’s Day was normal~ They held life. They held promise. They held hope. Deep in their fallen branches lay a beautiful nest. As we approached my dad’s door that evening, a protective mama flew from that nest. The home she had made for her babies despite the circumstances. As we peered inside we saw that promise of hope. Four beautiful blue eggs. And we were joyful. Our homes may not have been the same this year. This Mother’s Day. They may have looked different than last year. The snow and cold may have discouraged us. Missing our loved ones because of this virus may have had us feeling defeated and alone. Maybe some were hoping and praying that this year they would celebrate their first Mother’s Day, but that dream had not been fulfilled. Maybe some had lost their mother or a child this year, and the loneliness of that loss left an aching deep in their soul. And yet, God our Father has not forsaken. He meets us, comforts us and protects us right where we are. Wherever that may be. He gives us hope for our futures. He builds a home in our hearts. In our crumpled, fallen down mess, as we wait for Him to pick us back up~He tells us that He is here. He has always been here. He will never leave. He holds us under the shadow of His wings We watched as that mama returned. She would not leave her babes. Despite the home, despite the circumstances, despite the mess. Despite us, she remained. As the snow blew in the cold wind, she protected them there. They knew no different. They were safe. They were loved. Allow Gods presence to overshadow you today. Rest under His wings as He protects. Give Him every circumstance that surrounds you. You are safe. You are loved. Let His peace comfort your heart until you know no different. God showed me hope that day. He showed me the promise of life despite what our world might look like right now. New life. New beginnings. Soon those babies will hatch. They will fly from the crumpled mess their home once was. We will pick up those trees and they will stand aright again. And they will always be a reminder of Gods love, of His promises, of His care and protection. Of His presence. They will remind us how beautiful our lives can be, no matter what our circumstances are. Despite ourselves, He will always be there hiding us under the shadow of His wings. Psalm 17:8, 32:7, 36:7, 57:1, 63:7
4/16/2020
Fix Your Eyes On JesusI’ll never forget the Easter my cousin Erick decided to dress up as the Easter bunny. We were in middle school, and both our brothers were much younger. He thought it would be fun to surprise them. It had the opposite effect. When his younger brother Peter saw him, he was petrified. He started crying and wouldn’t stop. We tried to comfort him but nothing helped. My cousin repeatedly told him- “It’s me, your brother. You don’t have to be afraid. I’m right here.” But the crying persisted. My poor little cousin was looking into the face of fear, despite the words of comfort he was hearing. It wasn’t until Erick took off that bunny mask that Peter finally calmed down and realized, it was his brother all along. This Easter many of us are looking at all the quarantine masks and our hearts are petrified. We are looking into the face of fear, instead of the face of our Savior. His words of comfort are constantly reminding us that He is with us always, but fear has such a grip on our hearts that we cannot be comforted by His very words... “fear not”, “be not afraid”, “I am with you always”. Can I encourage you today to trust the One Who loves us so much that He sent His very Son to die for us? To trust the One Who promises us a home in heaven if we accept the beautiful gift of His Son. To trust the One Who tells us He will be with us always. ALWAYS. Why is it that we can have the faith to trust that God will take us to heaven when we die, but our faith falls short when we have to trust Him to take care of us physically or monetarily? I think it’s because we know that what Jesus did on the cross for us is what assures us a home in heaven~not anything that we ourselves have done, or could ever do. Our sins are completely forgiven because of Jesus alone. The situation changes when it comes to our physical bodies, and the well being of those we love. Somehow we think we are the ones in control of things here on earth. Our health. Our finances. Our futures. When things become out of control, fear invades our hearts instead of faith. Romans 8:31,32. Stop looking into the face of fear and dwelling there. Stop watching the news all day. Stop the googling and social media. Sit at your Savior’s feet and soak in His comfort and peace. When you stop looking into the face of fear, you will realize your Heavenly Father has been with you all along. Romans 8:35,37-39. Fix your eyes on Jesus. He is in you. He gives you the power to overcome. The power that we could never achieve on our own. Power, even when things of this world are out of control. John 1:12. The Coronavirus is no surprise to Him. I John 3:20. My cousin asked his brother if he wanted to hold the bunny mask. Reluctantly, Peter took it. He looked at it, and with tears still streaming down his little cheeks~he gave it right back. We all laughed and soon he was laughing too. We don’t have to wait until we remove the quarantine masks for our fears to subside. We don’t have to wait until we remove the masks to realize God has been right here with us all along. Exodus 33:14. Give all that fear right back to your Heavenly Father. Find your laughter again. And hear him reassuring you over and over- “It’s me. Your Father. You don’t have to be afraid. I am right here.”
3/19/2020
Don’t Be Scared, I Am HereDON’T BE SCARED, I AM HERE.
2 min read As we sat in the hospital waiting room, we finally heard the lullaby playing over the speakers. Every time a baby was born the lullaby played. We were so excited. We were sure our little Ellie had made her grand entrance. But the wait continued, with no proud father emerging. When my son in law finally came through the door, we all knew something was wrong. They had taken Ellie away immediately. She had a collapsed lung and in the process of taking care of her, the doctor found out she had a serious strep b infection. I can remember standing next to my daughter and looking across the hall as they all worked on little Ellie. When they came in and told us they had to transfer her to a larger hospital 30 minutes away, Jessica was devastated. They would not allow her to go. She hadn’t even gotten to hold her child, or even see her. My husband stayed next to Ellie in the NICU that whole night trying to bring some sort of comfort to Jessica, but the next morning despite many obstacles, Jessica walked through that door to her child. She whispered the barely audible words “I’m here Ellie. Mama’s here” In that moment I saw my daughter in a different light. She was my hero. She endured tremendous pain to be there for her child. Her love for her daughter was overwhelmingly beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. I remembered the pain of child birth and the amount of time I was allowed to recuperate in my hospital bed, yet here she stood next to her child just hours after giving birth. The love she had drew every ounce of strength from her weak body so that she could be there for her baby. The love of a mother is fierce, it transcends all obstacles for its child. That love, that incredible fierce love we have for our kids is only a shallow puddle compared to the ocean of love our Heavenly Father has for us. His love transcends all obstacles. His love endured tremendous pain on the cross for us, because of our sins. He took all our brokenness and sin and nailed it to that cross where His only Son died in our place. John 3:16. Ellie didn’t do a thing to deserve Jessica’s love. She was born into it and it was all hers. Jessica loved her because she was her child. There’s nothing we can do to deserve Gods love either. God loves you and wants you to be born again. Born into His family. John 1:12, 3:3. No amount of good works could take Christ place on that cross. Ephesians 2:8-9. No amount of church attendance could wipe away the pain that He endured. Acts 4:12. He gave the very gift of Himself to us. John 5:24 The gift of life. Once you believe that such a love is possible~your heart will be changed and you will desire to give all of it to the One Who could love you that much. Our ultimate Hero. And when you truly understand that God’s love is fully yours, your heart will know without a doubt that He will do everything, EVERYTHING, to take care of you, His child. No matter the circumstance, we are not alone. Almighty God, the Creator of this universe, the Giver of life and peace and strength~ He is in us. He is with us. He is in control and He will take care of us. Think about what Jessica and mothers everywhere have endured, and overcome for their children. The bible tells us that if our earthly parents will go to such extents~ how much more will our Heavenly Father do for us. Luke 11:13 He is whispering to our souls even now~ Don’t be scared~ I AM HERE, I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS. Matthew 28:20 This is His promise. Believe His words. He will not fail us. Because not only is He our Hero~ He’s our Daddy and we are His child.
8/21/2019
Never Stop Praying For That ChildNEVER STOP PRAYING FOR THAT CHILD
3 minute read “Mrs. Goforth, this is officer Joy. We have your son in the back of our squad car....” I thought it was a prank call. At the time I didn’t realize our town had an officer with the last name “Joy”. I started laughing, until he cut me off to tell me what my son had been up to~ jumping off a barge into the Pigeon River. Apparently he had gotten permission to do so earlier in the day, but he had NOT gotten permission to go back at night with his friends. This wasn’t the first time Michael had “befriended” the police. *A few years earlier he climbed on top of our shed and shot a BB gun toward some trouble makers on Devil’s night. He thought he was protecting us. The police were knocking on our door a few minutes later. He was 7. *On a family trip, he left a convenience store at 9pm because he couldn’t find us. He started walking toward the highway and the police picked him up. He was 9. *He rode a moped on his senior trip without a helmet. The police stopped him, despite his protests that everyone else was doing it. *He snuck out at night and put an 8’ fiberglass rabbit in the middle of Main Street. A police chase ensued. Tasers were involved and the trouble makers ran into our church to hide out. (Yes, my husband is the pastor of that church). None of these things were terrible, life altering mistakes. They began in innocence. Slowly mischief was added, a little bit at a time and each time, my heart was pricked a little more. Our children’s actions can do that to us. And then, as mothers we worry. I was worried I was a terrible mother and I was worried about the direction my son seemed to be heading. When you write a weekly blog that all your children read, when you live in a small town and all those children live in that same town AND grew up in that same town, it makes it difficult to share past experiences and heartache you may have gone through in raising said children. At the same time I cannot pretend our life was a wonderful bed of roses, or that we were perfect parents and they were perfect children. I wasn’t. They weren’t. I had struggles and heart ache just like every other parent. This mom had more sleepless nights~filled with tears~than she cares to recall. But God is faithful. That isn’t cliche. It isn’t a cute phrase. It’s a truth I know from the depths of my heart, and have witnessed in each of their lives. The very first time we were called into the school office due to my son’s misbehavior, my mama heart wanted to blame everyone else. The teacher for not controlling her class, and the mischievous little boys he was interacting with. But that day God showed me that Michael wasn’t sweet and innocent either. He played just as much a part as the other boys involved, and this mom began praying even harder. I prayed specific prayers. I begged God to watch over my children and help them make Godly choices. I asked God ALL DAY LONG to keep His angels around my babies like a fortress, and to hold them under the shadow of His wings. So, from the moment I started praying earnestly on Michael’s behalf did his life dramatically change? Did he become the perfect little boy who grew into the Godly preacher he is today? Obviously, after reading the beginning of this story you know the answer~he did not. But, this mom never gave up on begging God and to this day, even though they are grown and married~ she’s still begging. Don’t ever stop going to God on your children’s behalf. Jesus Himself goes to God our Father on our behalf. If Christ, our ultimate example, does that for me~ then I will continue to do that for my own children until my last breath. Don’t give up mom. No matter how discouraging their choices and actions might be~Wait on the Lord. God is faithful. If you will keep asking~ He will answer and in time it will be true joy, and not an officer, calling to your heart. John 16:24- ...ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full. Psalm 27:14- Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. Psalm 91:4,11, Psalm 34:7, Matthew 18:10, Hebrews 1:14
7/24/2019
Safe And CozySAFE AND COZY
2 minute read The sky turned black and the clouds rumbled. Torrential rain came down in thick, heavy sheets. We opened the front door. Both of them tucked their little hands into mine. And we watched. Summer heat and mists of rain hit our faces, but they remained unmoved. A few moments later I turned away to shut the door. Even though my eyes could not adjust to the darkness, a sense a peace and comfort washed over me. Little Ellie looked up at me and said~ “Grandma I love your house when it’s raining like this. It makes me feel so safe and cozy.” I almost cried. She said exactly what my heart was feeling. Safe and cozy. That’s the feeling I want my granddaughters to have for the rest of their lives. I wish I could protect them from all the hurts and disappointments that life will throw at them. From the ugly words and angry people that will step across their paths. But I can’t. I could choose to be sad and worry over the outlook of their future, knowing the evils this world holds, or I can choose to give those babies to God. I can choose to teach them that yes, no matter what, they can always feel safe and cozy. I can, because I have experienced all these things myself. I remember the dark nights that I lay in bed feeling completely alone. I remember the tears that fell like torrential rain from hurts that were thrown my way. I remember my soul yearning for comfort that no human could give and I remember begging my Heavenly Father to wrap His arms around me. As silly as it sounds, this 54 year old will always be her Heavenly Father’s little girl. I will always want to tuck my hand into His or crawl up into His lap and just be held. Where every other person in this world may fail me, He will not. When my mind can’t wrap around the hurt my heart feels, I close my eyes. I picture my Father’s home. It is safe there. I will never grow too old to ask Him to hold me. He will always keep me~ safe and cozy. And that is what I want my grandchildren to grasp. That is the knowledge I want them to hold close. And I will know that one day, when the rain and heat of this world hits them, they will remain unmoved Because their hand will always be tucked into His. 💗 “For thou hast been a strength to the poor, a strength to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shadow from the heat, when the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm...” Isaiah 25:4 “For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” Isaiah 41:13 Psalm 16:1, 46:1, 91:2 & 14, 118:6 & 8, Proverbs 18:10, John 10:28 & 29
2/26/2019
Are You There God?ARE YOU THERE GOD?
In the late 1970’s, all the girls my age were reading the same book~ ‘Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret’. I was in junior high. I was boy~crazy, wore knee hi’s and couldn’t wait to grow up. Are you there God? Such silly things to talk to God about~ Boys and womanhood. Are you there God? I’m graduating high school and leaving for college. Scared and excited. Are you there God? The man of my dreams is asking to marry me. Are you there God? I’m moving hundreds of miles away. Away from everything and everyone I know and love. Are you there God? This little one is calling me mom. Do I even have a clue how to do this ‘baby’ thing? This ‘teenage’ thing? This ‘saying goodbye as they leave for good’ thing? Are you there God? Devastation has hit our country. The Twin Towers. Thousands are killed. Are you there God? I don’t think I can recover from the deep hurt this person caused. Are you there God? My sister in law died leaving six children. Her youngest only 6 days old. Are you there God? My mom is gone. The same year. I can’t breathe. Will I ever laugh again? Are you there God? Sickness, Celiac, mammograms, biopsies, abnormal cells. Are you there God? My dad has had a heart attack and stroke. Are you there God? My husband can’t see. He’s losing his sight.... Yes God is here. I could not have made it through without Him. He held me and carried me through each one of these moments in my life. He is here even now as I laugh with my dad. He’s here as I cherish memories of my mom and sister. He’s here as I gaze lovingly at my children, their spouses, their children. He’s here in the twinkle of my grandchildren’s eyes and the giggles of their hearts. He’s here in the whispers of my husband’s I love you’s. Even as He was there when I was boy~crazy and wanted to grow up too fast. It wasn’t silly to Him when I asked. Nothing is too silly, nothing is too hard and nothing is too sad, because He loves me. He knows everything about me. He understands. Just as He understands whatever it is you are facing at this moment. And He loves you. Are you there God? You are not alone. Ask Him today. He will answer your heart~ I am always here my child. Always. I will hold you. I will carry you through. All you need do is ask. Psalm 62:8, 139:17 Zephaniah 3:17 Philippians 1:6
11/6/2018
But, What If We Can’t Rest?BUT, WHAT IF WE CAN’T REST?
Last week I wrote about the importance of rest. I told you how we all need it. I reminded you that it isn’t just a suggestion, it’s a commandment. But what if we can’t? What if it is physically impossible to rest~except for the few short hours between our heads hitting the pillow and our feet once again hitting the floor? What if our days are full of people who depend on us entirely~ whether that means a job or the littles that belong to you, or both. Maybe a sick child, husband or parent. People who are so dependent on you that there is no physical way you can bail. No way to get away. No way to rest. And then your days spill into your evenings. Evenings full of responsibilities. Church or sports, meetings or errands. Groceries bought and bills paid. Homework finished and lunches made. Laundry and dishes. Crying babies. Hurting teens. Sick loved ones. Life. Our evenings turn into late nights with morning right around the corner. No time to breathe. No time to rest. And then the alarm clock goes off at 5am and the cycle begins again. What then? How can we possibly obey God’s command to rest when no rest can be had? I have had these seasons in my life. Seasons where concerned loved ones have advised me that if I didn’t slow down, I would fall down. Inside I just wanted to cry~ “you don’t understand. I literally CANNOT stop. People depend on me”. It has been in these seasons that I have realized a valuable truth. This may sound counterproductive but~rest takes work. Intentional work on our part. Hebrews 4:9-11 The good news is that we never have to go it alone. In fact, we cannot do it alone. We can only do it through Him and in His power. Psalm 71:16, Isaiah 41:10 Rest can be had in the only one Who can give it. Our Savior. We have to be intentional in the 24 hours He gives us each day. If we allow the busyness of our lives to overwhelm us, every task we face will become a chore and life will lose its joy altogether. We will start to feel alone and sadness will overcome us. Life was never meant to be lived alone. It was always meant to be lived in Christ and for Him. So work to be intentional. Retrain your mind to think on Christ every moment you can, and not on your circumstances. For you, that might mean going in the bathroom and locking the door for 5 minutes alone with Him. That might mean talking to Your Father as you shower or put on your makeup. That might mean dwelling on Him and His words as you drive to and from work, as you make dinner, fold laundry, do dishes, comfort that crying baby, take care of that sick parent or loved one. Don’t allow yourself to be lulled into a false rest when life gives you a few moments to yourself. Don’t pick up your phone to mindlessly scroll, pick up God’s word. Don’t turn that TV on and vegetate, turn to Him and talk to Him. Intentionally set your mind on Christ and ask Him for His rest. Be relentless in your quest. John 11:22, psalm 61:2, Matthew 11:28&29. All day, through everything life throws at you, whisper to Him. Let Him be your brace, your hope, your joy, your peace, your mercy and your comfort. And as your head hits the pillow, you won’t have to worry about what the next day holds. Psalm 3:5, 4:8. Isaiah 57:2 Overwhelming peace will flow through you. Philippians 4:7 Your feet won’t touch the floor the next morning, because He will be carrying you. Isaiah 46:4, Exodus 33:14 And suddenly, it won’t be work anymore because you will be resting safely in His arms. Psalm 16:9, 132:14, Jeremiah 31:25 II Thessalonians 1:7, II Corinthians 12:9
10/30/2018
Stop The ChaseSTOP THE CHASE
I’m not exactly sure how it happened. We were in Walmart. It started out fun. My son was chasing my youngest around clothes racks. Like kids do. She was laughing and out of breath, until she wasn’t. It was dizzying. Suddenly it was no longer fun for her. The smallest trip~on nothing. All carpet. No visible reason for the fall. Except the chasing. She began to cry. It was unusual for her to cry. She wasn’t dramatic and could tolerate pain better than any 4 year old I knew. The chasing got to her and the tears did not stop. After a trip to the ER our worries were confirmed. She had a broken collar bone. No more chasing. Just rest. She got to spend time with daddy. She wore his shirt because it fit the best over her brace. He read to her. He held her. Isn’t that how it is with us? What has happened to us? This generation is full of busyness. Our calendars are full, our days and even minutes are packed. Always on our phones. Thinking, planning, doing. The feelings of guilt if we choose to rest, or try to rest. Why have our lives become a constant chase? We run around in circles until we become dizzy. We want to say no, but the chasing continues. And then, with no visible reason to the outside world, inwardly we lose it. We fall, and the pain becomes unbearable. We can’t continue, and all the while God is telling us to rest. Just rest. And so we listen. We stop. We spend time with Him. We put on His armor like a comfy shirt. Ephesians 6:11 We lean on Him~~but not long enough. And pretty soon, as we try to rest, as we try to read His words or pray, our phones start to buzz. That notification. That text. That email. That appointment. That need. And our rest is no longer rest as we’re drawn into the chase again. As hard as it was to see Kathryn in pain that day, it was even harder a week later. Her brace had come off sometime in the night and the next day her daddy had to put it back on. Her pain in the repositioning was worse than the actual break. Her cries were absolutely heartbreaking to this mama. And that’s how it is with us. We get to the point where we think a few hours on Sunday is enough. But God needs to be our brace every single moment, not just a few hours on Sunday. And when He is no longer our brace and we think we can do this crazy, busy life on our own, the inward pain only becomes worse and God brings us back to the place where He alone is our brace. He alone is our rest. Psalm 116:7, Psalm 46:10 Stop the chase. Set time aside to rest. It isn’t just a suggestion. It’s a command from God Himself. Exodus 20:9-11 Why is it so easy for us to see the importance of obeying every other commandment He gives~ i.e. adultery, stealing, murder... but neglecting the one that Christ Himself chose to do? Mark 4:36-38, 6:31 Stop feeling guilty for obeying His command. The world says go, go, go. God says stop. When I came back into the room after her cries had softened, she was in her daddy’s arms. He was telling her it was okay. And she believed him. Believe Him. He’s telling you it’s okay. Put your phone down. Shut your notifications off. Go for a walk or a drive. Take in Gods beauty all around you. Or just close your eyes. Think on it. Think on Him. Hebrews 4:9 Let Him hold you and be your brace. Every single day. And rest in Him. Psalm 27:14 |
© 2020 HOLDING HOPE