4/12/2024
As He SaidMany years ago, someone I cared for very deeply broke a promise they made to me. It truly crushed me, and it took me years to get past.
The pain ran deep. I found in those moments that we as Christians can do one of two things. We can either~ 1. Let the brokenness of humanity turn into bitterness and scar our relationship with Jesus and our trust in His promises to us, or~ 2. We can cling to those promises, understanding that Jesus will never break a promise He has made to us. Ever. I pondered this fact last Sunday as I read the gospel of Matthew and came across three small words in his resurrection account. Three words that broke through every trust barrier. Three simple words that meant everything to me. “AS HE SAID.” What a promise!!! Every promise in God’s word points to the gospel, and all of God’s promises are fulfilled directly or indirectly in Christ. Every promise made before His birth and every promise made after His glorious resurrection. Everything God has promised has been fulfilled or will be fulfilled, just as He said. Because Jesus is alive. He is no longer dead. Just as He said. Too often I take God’s promises for granted. I pick and choose the ones I want to cling to, instead of clinging to God Himself. I want physical results. I want that peace. I want that joy. I want that comfort. I want the promise. I forget about the praise. The praise in the promises He fulfills every single day. Promises to forgive. To meet my daily needs. To love me no matter what. To never leave me. To work all things out for my good. Promises that through His salvation I will be with Him for all eternity. As He said. I also find it interesting that God used Matthew to add those three small (but powerful) words in the first account of Christ’s resurrection. Matthew didn’t use a litany of proficient words to prove his trust in His Savior. “As He said.” That’s it. I am sure Matthew had trouble believing people when they made promises. As a tax collector, he was all about the facts. Either you paid or you didn’t. But this. This was fact. Jesus paid every debt ever owed. He was, and is alive. Just as He said. Choose to look to Christ today and rest in His promises. Take a lesson from Matthew, who knew the state of humanity all too well. Don’t allow past relationships to cause bitterness or scar your relationship with Christ. There isn’t a single minute you have to doubt Him and His love for you. In the middle of His horrific death on the cross, nothing looked good. It seemed all was lost. But God. God remembered His promises to all of mankind, His promises to me and His promises to you, and He fulfilled them. I do not say this lightly. I understand the pain many of you are going through right now. No matter how horrific your circumstances might be or what you might be in the middle of at this very moment, He will not break His promises to you. Cling to them, but more importantly~ cling to Him. He promises to meet our needs. He promises to hear our prayers. He promises peace, joy, comfort, mercy, strength and protection. He promises a love that never fails. He promises the salvation of our souls and eternity in heaven. He promises Himself. He promises to work everything out for your good~ just as He promised that He would raise from the dead. Let that sink in. JUST AS HE SAID. SCRIPTURE READING: Matthew 28:6, 2 Peter 1:4, 2 Corinthians 1:18-2, Philippians 4:7, Psalm 16:11, Psalm 23:4, Psalm 94:17-19, John 14:17-18, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, Luke 1:72, Ephesians 2:4, Psalm 66:20, Psalm 100:5, Psalm 32:7, Isaiah 41:10, Colossians 1:11-14, Ephesians 1:7, Philippians 4:19, John 10:28-30, 1 John 5:11-15, Ephesians 2:4-7, 2 Corinthians 4:18, Romans 8:18, 28, 31-32, 35, 37-39, Psalm 31:14-15
3/8/2024
He Knows You BetterAs I sat crying, I wondered how my mind could be so powerful, and yet so weak. It has the power to convince me of lies, and then the weakness to believe those lies.
Even though I know God knows everything about me, even though I know He knows my every thought, in my weakness I try to be strong. I realized today that I haven’t been an open book with God lately. As I prayed, my mind told me that I should not say “those words” out loud to Him. I dare not complain. I dare not list the thousand and one things that weigh me down, emotionally and spiritually. Because~ “That’s not what a good Christian does when they pray. Certainly God doesn’t want to be bothered with my petty problems, or pain from the past that I so easily succumb to.” You know me. I’ve written several posts about pouring your heart out to God. I have an easy time bringing all the big things to Him in prayer, but sometimes I don’t think to bring Him all the little things as well. And without me realizing, the little things continue to pile up on top of the big things. Suddenly I feel buried. Somehow I convinced myself that I shouldn’t expose my humanness to Him. He would be so disappointed. I have to push those thoughts aside. I have to fight the good fight. How silly of me. How weak of me to think I somehow have that power to hide those thoughts from God. I may not express them, but He knows every single one of them. And so, today I told him ALL of it. As each thing came to mind (and there were A LOT of “things”), I talked to Him about it. At times, I felt like a failure. So weak. How did I get to this place? This place of melancholy and lack of joy. This place of feeling burdened, misunderstood and alone. My heart already knew how. Because I never talked to Him about it to begin with. I just kept “trying”. Trying to be good in my own strength. Trying to tell myself that this is not how a Pastor’s wife and christian blogger should think. “Trying” in our humanness is pride. Pride because somehow we think we can do this life without God, even if it’s a life that we think honors Him. Without Him, we are nothing. And ladies, today as I poured out my heart~all my failures, all my thoughts, all my weaknesses and selfish motives and all my fears~ God was with me. He sat with me as I cried, and His word reminded me that He already knew all of my heart before I ever chose to reveal it to Him. He had been waiting for me to do just that. And once I did, my heart felt free. Through the tears I praised Him. I praised Him for never giving up on me. I praised Him for saving my soul. I praised Him for all the blessings in my life. I praised Him for listening and loving me. I praised Him for the peace that came over me and the joy that He restored. I praised Him for always giving me a word from His word, exactly what I need every single time. I praised Him for His grace. Ladies, don’t ever be embarrassed to talk to God. Don’t ever think you have to have it all together before you can come to Him, or that somehow you have to hide your true feelings as you talk to Him. We might not always know how to process our humanness and the emotions we are feeling, but God does~ so why do we even try to figure it out on our own? He knows you far better than you know you. Cast all your cares on Him, never forgetting how very much He cares for you. His grace will always, always be sufficient for exactly what we need. SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 38:8-10, 15 Psalm 39:7 Psalm 40:1-3, 5, 16 Psalm 55:22 Psalm 116:1-2 Psalm 139:1-12 Matthew 11:28 1 Peter 5:7 2 Corinthians 12:9 Galatians 5:1 Isaiah 58:6, 8-9 John 15:4-5, 11
3/1/2024
Please BewareEvery single day I have to block fraudulent profiles on my Holding Hope page. They usually attach themselves to someone else who has already commented on one of my posts, and seek their “friendship” with kind and inviting words. Their profiles always look professional, and quite often they pose as men in the military or medical field. They prey on women, hoping to catch someone unaware of who they really are. They appear to be one thing, but are completely the opposite. Please beware~
They aren’t your friend. They don’t want to be your friend. They want to steal your identity and destroy you. I couldn’t help but see a comparison. Scripture warns us that Satan is subtle and goes about sneaking and seeking. He gets into our heads. He lies, accuses, corrupts, destroys and steals~all while looking like an angel of light. He preys on our weaknesses, and once he has gotten into our heads he has us believing all his lies. ◦ Lies about relationships and loneliness: telling you that you will always be alone. ◦ Lies about insecurities, comparison and jealousy: she’s better, smarter, prettier, happier. ◦ Lies about social media: convincing you that this is what life is all about, this is what life should be. This is the life you will never have. ◦ Lies about self pity: no one cares about you. No one sees how hard you work. Your life is so hard. ◦ Lies about your job. ◦ Lies about your pride. ◦ Lies about what other people think. ◦ Lies about your spouse and your marriage. ◦ Lies about your church. ◦ Lies about your life. ◦ Even lies about Christ. What is a Christian to do? How can we possibly fight this? If Satan is that subtle, how will we even know what is a lie and what is truth? And that’s why week after week I post scripture. I cannot emphasize this enough~ my words cannot fight off the lies~ but God!!!! His words are power and we HAVE TO KNOW them!! We overcome when we continually draw nigh to God, by the blood of the Lamb, Christ Jesus our Savior. By the testimony of others. By God’s grace. By the power of Christ. By faith. By being rooted and grounded in His love. We overcome by acknowledging God in every single decision, by asking the Holy Spirit to shed light in our hearts and by being strong in the Lord. How do I know this? Because God’s word says so! I reminded you last week that the Christian life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. It’s a battle. We have to know who our enemy is but more importantly~ we have to know who GOD is. Let me tell you just a few of HIS truths: ◦ You’re never alone ◦ You’re eternally loved ◦ You’re who God created you to be ◦ EVERYTHING we need is written in HIS word ◦ Our identity is in Christ ◦ He is our all in all Please beware~Satan wants to steal your identity. He will sneak into your thoughts, comments and actions, all the while telling you lies you carelessly believe. That fraudulent friend request will continually come. Satan will never stop until we are at home in heaven. Every single day, every single thing we need is in Jesus, the Son of God. Hold tight to that truth, rooted and grounded in the love of your Savior, Redeemer, Comforter and Friend. Our God who gave us eternal life. Our God who cannot lie. Seek wisdom and discernment through His word. In all your ways acknowledge Him. His light will not only show you the lies of the enemy, His light will show you the truth. The truth that only comes from the truest Friend. SCRIPTURE READING: James 4:4 James 4:6-8 Proverbs 3:5-6 2 Corinthians 4:4, 6, 8-10 Ephesians 6:10-13 Revelation 12:9-12 2 Corinthians 11:3 John 10:10 John 8:44 2 Corinthians 11:14 1 Peter 5:8-9 Hebrews 13:5-6 Deuteronomy 31:6 Jeremiah 31:3 Ephesians 2:10 Psalm 139:14 Galatians 2:20 Romans 8:37-39 Colossians 3:1-2, 23-24 Galatians 6:3 Romans 8:14-17 Ephesians 3:17-19 1 Corinthians 15:28 Psalm 119 John 15:14-16 Zephaniah 3:17 Titus 1:2-3 Colossians 3:16
2/23/2024
Hope and PraiseI know heartbreak. I know darkness. I know loneliness, sadness, depression, questions and sleepless nights. I share quotes about circumstances like these often, because I know they’re real. I’ve experienced each one. My countenance may have looked fine to the outside world, but during those moments the pain ran deep.
David is a perfect example of what each of us may go through at some point in our lives. In Psalms 5:11&12 we read of David shouting for joy, proclaiming God’s goodness. In the very next chapter (6:6-9) he tells us he is weary and groaning, filling his eyes with grief and his bed with tears. The Christian life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. It’s a battle. And it’s hard. And I’ve been in the middle of it. But the “hard” doesn’t stay. Praise God. It doesn’t stay my friend. And that’s why I started this page. Because of that hope. I know it exists, and I want to give God all the glory for it. In the past, when I have felt as if I couldn’t see an even a twinkle of light in the darkness that surrounded me, I did not give up on that hope. Because I remembered. I closed my eyes and whispered the name of Jesus. And the remembrance of all the times He has brought me through the heartaches and pain became incredible light flooding my darkness. I held on to that light. I held on to Jesus. So today’s post is going to be a little different. Today’s post I glorify God. I’m not going to dwell on the bad. There’s enough of that in the world today. I want to dwell on all the good. His goodness lasts forever. His mercies are new every morning. He is always faithful. His love is infinite. His comfort is constant. His peace truly passes understanding. Maybe you’re wondering when there will ever be a breakthrough, or when that peace and comfort will come. That’s why our testimonies are so important. People need your story. Satan wants to keep us in the dark. He wants us defeated. He wants us to lose our hope and give up. He wants us to forget about God and all His promises and answered prayers. He wants us to forget that God has saved our wretched soul from hell with the incredible, unfathomable gift of His Son Jesus. And when we’re in the middle of that pain, He wants us to feel alone. You are not alone dear friend. Jesus is standing in the middle with you. Let’s remind the hurting and broken world today what God has done for us. Let’s be like the disciple John who said “This is the disciple which testifieth of these things, and wrote these things: and we know that his testimony is true. And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen.” John 21:24-25 Let’s be lights in the darkness today. Let’s share God’s glory by sharing our testimonies. How God gave us hope. How He answered prayer. How He worked miracles. How He helped us overcome. How He placed scripture in our heart and people in our path. Psalm 107:2 tells us~ Let the redeemed of the Lord say so… Let’s “say so!” Let’s praise our amazing Savior together~ And give each other something to hold on to. HOPE SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 4:6&7 Lamentations 3:19-26 Isaiah 61:3, 25:1, 41:10&13, 43:2 Psalm 102:18, 71:14-21, 42:4&5 I Chronicles 23:30 Deuteronomy 10:21 I Peter 1:7 Psalms 5:11, 9:1&2, 27:1&3, 13&14, 28:7, 29:2, 26:7, 30:5, 10-12, 34:3&4, 35:18&28, 40:3, 45:17, 50:23, 52:9, 63:3&4, 6&7, 107:6-9, 13-15, 109:26&27, 30, 119:164, 150:6 Psalm 139 Psalm 145
2/16/2024
It’s Not Okay“I’m so sorry.”
“God is in control.” “Give it to Him.” “He has a plan.” “It’s going to be okay.” “God will give you the peace that passes understanding.”… But what if He doesn’t?? These are often the words of friends and loved ones when someone is going through trauma. They’re meant to comfort, but sometimes they don’t. What if your soul is completely wrecked? You’ve prayed. You’ve cried. You’ve begged, you’ve asked. But God remains silent. The pain does not dissipate. This week my husband and I were babysitting our four grandsons. The 2 year old tried to copy his older brother and ended up falling off of a bench. We knew immediately that something was very wrong. His parents were almost 2 hours from home, so we had to get permission to take him to the hospital. It broke my heart. His little body was hurting and he didn’t understand. Throughout the process of exams and X-rays and more exams and more X-rays, his big blue eyes looked lost. He was scared and crying. And over and over his grandpa and the doctors and the nurses sweetly repeated “it’s okay”. I even said it. But it wasn’t okay. Nothing he was going through felt okay. He only wanted to be held. He asked for his daddy, but even after His daddy came home and held him, he cried~because the pain did not go away. He had a broken collarbone and bruised ribs. I kept replaying it in my mind. How many times had we tried to reassure him that “it was okay”. Clearly it wasn’t okay. It was just our way of trying to soothe him. And how often do we as Christian’s do this with others when they are going through their own pain and heartache. When the tears won’t stop and they don’t understand why. We try to comfort with our words, but our words don’t give them the answers they’re seeking. It reminded me of the story of Job in the Bible, and all the heartache he went through. His friends had good intentions in the beginning, they truly desired to comfort him~they even cried with him. But in the end, they didn’t have the answers. Their words didn’t help because they weren’t the words that Job needed, they were the words of those lacking empathy. My grandson had to go through a lot of pain during his exams and X-rays. It was heart wrenching. The crazy thing is, there is no help for a broken collarbone. We do what we can to ease the pain. We are gentle with him, we console, we pray, but ultimately there is no answer. And so we try to give him the comfort he longs for. If you have a friend or loved one going through heartache of their own, you might not have an answer for them either. We can try to give hope. We can encourage with God’s word. We can say it’s going to be okay, but ultimately we can’t fix it or make it better. Only God can. Comfort comes in many forms. Everyone’s view of comfort is different. Ask God for wisdom and discernment when seeking to comfort, but more importantly ask Him to give you compassion and empathy for that particular person. Not what YOU would desire, but what THEY need. Sometimes it’s best just to love on them. Pray for them. Listen to them. Be there with them and cry with them. Don’t try to have all the answers. And if you are going though that pain yourself, be raw with God, just like Job was. There is nothing wrong with just pouring your heart out to Him. Letting the tears flow. Telling Him you don’t understand. Then crying some more. There’s such a lesson to be learned through the child like faith of a toddler. Isaiah doesn’t know how long he has to endure this pain. He doesn’t know why he is hurting, nor does he demand answers from his daddy. Day after day he crawls up onto his daddy’s lap, simply seeking comfort. He cries unashamedly. His daddy can’t take the pain away, but baby Isaiah trusts him fully to care for him as he heals, and ease the pain with his presence. And that’s exactly what we need to do in the middle of our own pain. Despite not having answers. Despite the heart ache, don’t give up hope… Day after day, climb up into your heavenly Daddy’s lap and trust him fully through the tears. Of this I am sure~ your healing will come. Romans 8:28 SCRIPTURE READING: James 5:11 1 Peter 1:6-9 1 Peter 5:7 Psalm 103:13-14 Psalm 91:4-5, 11-12, 14-15 Job 10:15 Job 16:2 , 4-5, 20-21 Job 1:22 Job 42:10 Job 13:15 1 Thessalonians 4:9 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
2/2/2024
Love Like JesusMy sister in law was only 35 years old when she passed away in 2003 from complications in child birth. Many of you know the story. She died 6 days after giving birth to her 6th child. It broke me. My heart yearned to comfort her children, and take care of her baby. Just a few months later my own mother unexpectedly passed away, and my heart yearned for the comfort that only she could give. Comfort I had grown to lean on, from the one person who was now gone forever.
Wednesday was the anniversary of my sister in laws home going. It also happened to be the anniversary of another mother’s home going. The mama of a dear friend of mine. Two mothers who went home to heaven, and left children behind. Young and old. It really made me think~no matter the time that is passed or how old we are, the day our mama leaves us will always be hard. I thought about the posts I made last week. Posts about mamas, and the comments I received. Some women shared that they have never experienced that love and comfort that I spoke of. And I thought about my own children. Some are going through a very difficult time right now. As I was praying for them late one night, I was aware of the fact that one day I will be gone, and that “mama”comfort will be gone with me. The comfort in praying without ceasing, in encouraging and listening. The comfort in sharing laughter, hugs and tears. The comfort of loving unconditionally and sacrificing without limit. The comfort I will always try to give, because I am their mom. What happens when we lose that? It is a grief that cannot be put into words, because our hearts know~ no one loves you like your mom. And what if we never had that to begin with? It is an emptiness that can’t be explained. This week I shared another post, one that reminded us not to take for granted those who speak life into us, and encourage us. They are a gift from God. And that’s what motivated me to challenge you today. We live in a world full of hurting people. Health and financial burdens seem hopeless. Marriages and wayward children weigh heavy. The loss of a spouse or child leaves devastation, and grieving children~all those who have lost their mother, or never experienced a mother’s love to begin with, feel utterly alone. Who will step up and comfort them? Who will speak life into them? Who will encourage them? Who will fill that emptiness and be that gift from God to a broken soul? Our God is the God of all comfort, and we are instructed in His word to love as He does. When life is going good, and even when life is filled with pain~it’s easy to give that much for our children, but it isn’t always easy to give that much to another. To pray without ceasing. To encourage and uplift. To always be there for someone. To talk and cry and to love unconditionally. That’s sacrifice. That’s being Christ-like. I long to know that someone will be that for my children after I am gone. And with that thought I am convicted that I also need to be that for others while I am here, when life is good and even when life is painful. Not because I am a mother, and not because I had a wonderful mother, but because I have a good and wonderful Father. The beautiful fact is this. You don’t have to be a mother to love and comfort and encourage others like God does and you don’t have to have a personal experience of having that comfort that only a mother can give. You just have to have God. Love. Love like God. What a gift He has given us. A precious gift we ALL need to share. SCRIPTURE READING 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Psalm 34:18 Hebrews 12:12 Philippians 2:4 Ephesians 4:32 John 13:34-35 1 John 3:17-18 Matthew 25:37-40 Galatians 5:13-14 Galatians 6:2, 10 Colossians 3:12 1 Thessalonians 5:11 Proverbs 12:25 1 Peter 4:8-10 Isaiah 66:13
1/12/2024
An Ache In Your SoulI didn’t think I was going to write a post this week because,
quite honestly~I didn’t want to. I recognized the lack of motivation for what it was, even though I tried to push it aside. After posting two articles on living life to the fullest, somehow melancholy got the best of me. The fact that I’m a homebody didn’t help. I absolutely LOVE to stay home and I would never get tired of it. Give me a snow storm, a cozy fire and a hot cup of coffee, and I’m a happy girl. But when I want to shut the world out and shut myself in, when I recognized that all I wanted to do was sit in front of that fire with my coffee and not have to think about or do anything, I knew something had to change. The problem was, I didn’t want to change. I knew why I was unmotivated and melancholy. Because I’m tired. And because there was an ache in my soul. I have mentioned this before, but I’m that girl that just pushes her sad feelings down. I keep pushing and pushing until they reach my toes, because I don’t want to be unhappy. And I definitely didn’t want to be unhappy at Christmas. So, I went to bed late, I got up early. I stayed busy. I pushed the thoughts aside. I pretended. And it was exhausting. I was missing my friend, and my heart hurt deeply for her husband and daughter. Memories of going through that with my own dad came crashing in on me. Christmas memories surrounded me, and made me miss my parents even more. The ache of sadness wanted to push at me constantly, so instead I pushed it away~ and I kept pushing. And yesterday I realized I needed a reality check. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that I didn’t want to write a blog post for Saturday, but the little bit of OCD I have was eating away at me. I have never missed writing a post since I started this page. I couldn’t miss now. And that’s what God used. He uses everything, right down to the tiniest detail to get our attention. God knew I needed rest. I am weak. I’ve been here before and He knows I’ll probably be here again and again. In all His beautiful understanding and infinite mercy, God gave me that time to rest in my own way, and then He told me it was time to get myself up, brush myself off and get back in the fight. God works in the most amazing ways. Over the holidays I had neglected to read devotionals sent to my email. Yesterday as I sat in front of my fire, I decided to read them. I’m sad to admit that it wasn’t because I was getting myself back up and brushing myself off. There was nothing spiritual about it. Once again, it was because of that little piece of OCD in my brain. I wanted to clean up my emails. Simple, regrettable fact. And once again, that’s what God used. A paragraph jumped off the page at me with the words from my friend Linda~ “Why do I write? Is it for love of my Savior or merely because I enjoy it? Is it to bring Him glory and to magnify Him because I'm so in love with Him? That's what He wants. That's what He deserves. That's how He loves me.” I love to write. There’s nothing wrong with that fact, but this week, in my melancholy state, that was my only motivation. Before I read her words, I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to post anything this week. My heart kept telling me there was nothing worthy to give. How could I impart any spiritual wisdom to anyone when I didn’t feel any motivation whatsoever? When I read her words, I realized~ God is my motivation. Jesus is my worth. Not my love for writing, my love for Him and in turn~ for all of you. There isn’t a whole lot of spiritual insight here. Me, spilling my heart out. Just a friend talking to her friends. Sometimes it doesn’t take profound words for God to move. Sometimes it just takes raw honesty and a heart that listens and whispers “I understand. I’ve been there. I love you and I’m praying for you”. Words that tell you that whatever you are going through, you aren’t alone. Words to remind you that God will never leave you, that He will always be there waiting for exactly the right time to say~ “Okay my daughter, it’s time to pick yourself up, brush yourself off and get back in the fight. Let’s do this. Together.” SCRIPTURE READING: Matthew 22:37-3 2 Corinthians 4:6-9 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 1 Peter 5:10-11
1/5/2024
How To LiveLast week, I told you about my friend. My friend whose husband had been diagnosed with an illness and given 3 years to live. My friend who had joy, and encouraged me despite her darkness. My friend who told me to live every day to the fullest~ one day at a time.
My friend who unexpectedly got her own diagnosis a month later. My friend who is now home with Jesus and whose husband is now a widower. My friend who taught me how to die. I have stood at the side of many death beds in the last 25 years. Too many. Each time there was a glimmer of hope that a miracle would come and each time, the miracle we were asking for did not come. When death lingered at the door, many were too weak to speak to me. Many were on medication to ease pain, and many just slept. Because there was always that measure of hope for recovery, I never truly had an opportunity to talk candidly with any of them about their imminent departure from this world. Until now. So many of my fellow Christian’s have shown me how to live. How to be lights for Christ in a dark world. How to overcome heartache and sorrow and live in the joy of the Lord, but no one really teaches you how to die because no one truly knows how they will react until they are put in that situation. It’s a morbid thought. No one wants to think about death at the beginning of a brand new year, but death is no respecter of time or person. And therein lies the importance of choosing to use our time wisely~living each day for the glory of God~ because none of us know when our appointment with death is. My friend certainly didn’t. Romans 8 tells us that our bodies are already dead because of sin. If we have accepted God’s gift of salvation, our spirits are alive because of Christ. Not just here on earth, but for eternity. What a season to grasp this lesson. A season of new beginnings, of hope, of life eternal. Because without the lowly birth in a manger there would be no death on a cross, and there would be no hope for us as we face death and eternity. My friend was on her death bed. She had bypassed treatment and although there was some pain, she was coherent. Her focus was on her Savior, on His promises and His goodness in her life. She didn’t speak of fear or uncertainty. She was smiling and laughing, albeit incredibly weak~ she was talking about the excitement of seeing Jesus. She was a light in the middle of so much darkness. And she probably never knew what an impact this had on me, until she was in glory. I asked her to give Jesus a hug for me when she saw Him. I will miss her so very much, and yet I have a peace about her home going. A comfort. Because of how she chose to live her days, she was not afraid when her days came to an end. I thought she taught me how to die. Until now. She didn’t just teach me how to die after all. She taught me how to live. What will you and I teach others in 2024? SCRIPTURE READING: Romans 8:10 Isaiah 46:4, 9-10 Isaiah 45:22 Romans 8:18, 22-28, 31-32, Romans 8:35, 37-39 Psalm 71:3, 5, 8-9, 14-21, 23-24 Psalm 73:23-26, 28 John 14:1-3 2 Corinthians 4:14-18 1 Corinthians 2:9 Philippians 3:20-21 Philippians 4:8 Colossians 3:16-17 1 Timothy 4:12 Matthew 5:16
12/22/2023
Need A Free Gift Idea?Countless gifts have been given and received within the last month. In just two days, people everywhere~in every walk of life~will be opening even more.
I could write the typical message about the greatest gift given, but I think you already know Who that is. Instead, I want to share some hope this Christmas. It’s been a tough month here. So much heartache within 30 days. A month that is supposed to be the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. I have longed to make everything better for everyone. Somehow, in my humanity I thought that if I could just find that one perfect gift to lift a hurting heart, things would be better for that person. Tonight I realized they wouldn’t. My presents would always come up short. Gifts might make the recipient smile and bring momentary happiness, but minutes later reality will hit again. We can’t give away true joy. But we can give away hope. It’s free. It costs us nothing but love. Not our human love, but the love of our Savior Who gave Himself for us. The love of the Christ Child born on Christmas. And that my friend, is the most important gift. No one’s life is hopeless, as long as they have Christ. So today and tomorrow and on Christmas Day, give the gift of hope. What is hope? I once read that the word “hope” never carries even the connotation of uncertainty in scripture. Every aspect of God's word gives us hope, hope that we can cling to. Hope that is our reality. Not the hope that comes from material things, or even people. The hope that is eternal. The hope of a Savior who always forgives. The gift of salvation and grace. The hope of mercies new every morning. The gift of love that never ceases. The hope that nothing can take that love away. The gift of peace that passes understanding. The hope of a Friend who sticks closer than a brother. The gift in knowing He will never leave or forsake us. The hope of heaven, our eternal home for those who believe. The gift our Savior gave us when He died for our sins. The hope that was born in a manger. Yes it’s been a tough month. Heartache upon heartache, but not heartache without hope. There is no greater gift. A hope to hold on to. A hope to share. Today I give you that gift, and I ask that you share it as well. Can you imagine if everyone could open that beautiful gift this Christmas? Let’s make that our resolution before the New year even hits. The gift of hope. The hope that was born in a manger. SCRIPTURE READING: Hebrews 11:1 I Corinthians 15:19-20 Psalm 42:11 Psalm 119:114 Colossians 1:27 Romans 5:1-2, 5 Romans 8:24-25 Romans 12:12 Romans 15:4, 13 Titus 3:4-7 1 John 1:9 Ephesians 1:7 Ephesians 2:8-9 Romans 6:23 1 John 4:9-10, 15-16 Lamentations 3:22-24 Romans 8:38-39 Philippians 4:7 Proverbs 18:24 Hebrews 13:5 Romans 5:5-8 John 3:16 John 10:28
12/8/2023
Glimpses Of GloryGuest post by my son Michael Goforth
Nostalgia — Have you ever felt it? That odd mixture of joy and sadness that floods your soul as you encounter something from yesteryear. An old song, a familiar smell, a worn out picture... The dictionary defines nostalgia as “a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past.” And there’s nothing quite like the Christmas season for bringing out these sentimental longings. We’re happy for that Christmas memory, but we’re simultaneously sad because it’s over. And as we try to sort through it all, we are left with these feelings that we’re not sure what to do with. What is going on here? And what are we to do with these longings? To answer these questions, we need to travel back to a place called Eden and consider how our story began. In Genesis 2:7-8 we read, “then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed.” If you continue reading, you’ll find that Eden was so much more than just a garden. It was a garden paradise, with everything you could want for joy and flourishing. And shortly after creating man, God made the woman. And he graciously gave them Eden as the place they could call home. A sanctuary for them to rest and rejoice in God and his gifts. Tragically, this is not how the story ends. Adam and Eve decided that all of this was still not enough, and they rebelled against God. This ushered sin, death, and brokenness into the world. And it resulted in their removal from Eden. Our first parents were officially exiles, banned from the garden sanctuary that they once called home. And ever since then, their descendants, with the rest of creation, have been longing for Eden (Rom 8:18-24). This is why all of us experience a homesickness of the soul. The world we live in is broken and sin-cursed. And the feelings of longing and nostalgia are echoes of a place we formerly called home. Now we wander through this life as exiles, often participating in the same rebellion of Adam and Eve, looking everywhere but God for fulfillment and satisfaction. So, how did God respond to all of this rebellion and brokenness? He responded with Christmas. He took on flesh and dwelt among us. The infinite God became an infant. Jesus, the Creator and Sustainer of all things, stepped into this sin-cursed world, to fix the brokenness that we caused. He lived the perfect life we never could and died the death that we should have died. He then rose again triumphantly to conquer sin, death, and hell forever. And he did all of it, “that he might bring us to God” (1 Pet. 3:18). The best part about Christmas is that it’s not over yet. Jesus has promised to come again. That he might rescue our homesick souls and bring us to the only real place that we can call home. A new heaven and a new earth with no more sin, no more sorrow, no more pain, no more brokenness, and no more death. A place of glory where all those who believe can live with God and enjoy Him forever. What if those feelings of nostalgia weren’t meant to make you long for the past? What if they were meant to make you long for the future? Personally, I believe this season, with its odd mixture of hope and longing, joy and sadness, beauty and brokenness—was all meant to be a glimpse of the glory that is to come. The glory that we know will come—because of Christmas. In the coming weeks, we’ll celebrate the sparkling lights, sing along to the beautiful music, marvel at the freshly fallen snow, embrace the warmth of gathering with our favorite people, and so much more. But if you are a Christian, these things are only a foretaste of your future. As C.S. Lewis explained, these things “are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited.” In other words, these things are only glimpses of the glory to come. One day, we will truly be home for the holidays, and oh what a glorious homecoming that will be.
11/10/2023
My Great GodSometimes the hope we need for miracles in our own lives, come from the miracles and praises of others.
This is the season we will see countless posts and quotes about thankfulness. Why to be grateful and how to be thankful. They are all great reminders, but today I am not going to talk about any of them. Today I’m going to share some hope. Today I’m going to talk about my Jesus, and tell you how great our God is. Ever since my dad passed away in 2020, my heart has struggled with holding on and letting go. Letting go of his belongings (right down to a little magnifying glass he used to read his prescriptions), letting go of his home, and holding on to memories. Every time I thought about selling his home, I cried. I couldn’t. It was a heavy, internal struggle to say the least. So I prayed. And I prayed, and I prayed and I prayed, and I never felt a peace, and I never got an answer. My son and daughter in law were living there during this time. It made my heart happy that family lived within the walls that held so many memories for me, so I continually pushed the idea of selling all the way to the back of my mind… until the day they told us they were moving. I’ll be honest. I cried. And then I prayed some more. God had opened a door for my son that was literally a miracle. A dream house for them to be able to purchase. Something they had been praying about for a very long time themselves. And yet, in that moment I struggled. While they were getting their dream, I wanted to hold on to mine. Keeping a physical part of my dad for as long as possible. God continued to nudge my heart though, so I continued to pray. I remember telling one of my children that I wished God would just audibly tell me what to do. Don’t you feel that way sometimes? I was scared. I didn’t want to let go. I pondered all these things. I didn’t even talk to my husband about it. It was a Saturday in August when it was particularly heavy on my heart. An answer needed to come. The home would soon be empty and the mortgage was high. I begged God that day to show me. I asked him for specifics. An exact request. The entire day went by without an answer and late that night, when I thought no answer had come, God surprised me. He literally answered the exact request I had prayed for. I cried again. I don’t believe God speaks audibly to us, but in that moment it was as close to audible as you can get. He used His word. He used prayer. He used other believers. His Holy Spirit worked miracles through it all. This might seem trivial to you, but it was heart wrenching to me. Until God answered. And suddenly, the peace He gave me passed all understanding. A peace that could only come from Him. God was telling me to sell. Let me tell you what happened within the next 24 hours. We had 2 people interested in buying. And then, early Sunday morning I remembered that a friend of mine had asked me a year ago if I would be willing to sell. At the time I told her no. As a quick gesture, I let her know that I was now willing. Three interested people before we ever listed! And just like that, 24 hours later, my dad’s home sold for our asking price. Not only did it sell, it sold to my sweet friend. She was just as happy as I was, and told me that she had been praying about it! I couldn’t imagine anyone else living there and loving it like my dad did. God put her name on my heart that Sunday morning. Not only that, but my son and daughter told us they were expecting. After 5 heartbreaking years of trying, and praying and begging God, their miracle baby was here. They had a dream home and a baby coming. And I wept and I wept and I wept. God’s perfect timing was an understatement. And today I want to praise him. Today I want to thank him. Today I want to give you hope~don’t stop praying and seeking and asking and begging… And praising and thanking. He truly is our God of miracles. He is my Father who understands my frail humanity and has compassion on my hurting heart. Who sympathizes with my inconsequential struggling and fear, in the midst of a world filled with far worse. And despite the innumerable prayers lifted up to Him from all over this world, He cares about me. He continually reaches down and pulls me close, whispering to my heart that He understands. That’s my God. As hard as it is when you’re going through the process, don’t give up on Him. He knows exactly when to answer those prayers. Nothing is too big. Nothing is too small. And when the answer comes, and it will come, thank Him. Praise Him. And then, share that hope with the world. SCRIPTURE READING: Isaiah 12:2 Psalm 86:1-10, 12-13, 15 Psalm 88:1-3, 9, 13 Psalm 89:1-2, 5-8, 15-17 Ephesians 1:3-7, 12, 18-19 Psalm 23
Too often I think we take God’s word for granted. When life is good, our bible can sit unopened for days. When life is bad we want answers ASAP, and quite often look to the words of man over the words of God. We want to read a relatable blog post to help us feel better fast. Blog posts like I write every Saturday. I truly believe that God can use humans to uplift, encourage and convict when needed, but I also want to remind you that God’s words are more powerful than any word man could ever write. They are definitely more powerful than any word I could write. My words are the bandaid. God’s words are eternal. They are the medicine that heals and transforms. They are power. Today I want to share some of that power with you. A few weeks back, I woke up one morning and Psalm 23 was immediately on my heart and mind. That same morning~within the hour~ my daughter-in-law sent a text with a song she wanted to share. A song on Psalm 23. I knew God was speaking to me. I will be honest~this hasn’t been a “go-to” Psalm for me like it is for so many. It is such a familiar Psalm, probably one that many of us know by heart. I often overlook its familiarity. I shouldn’t. And so, I got out concordances and study bibles to dig a little deeper. Today I would like us to take a closer look, because I know these words will touch EVERYONE’S hearts in one way or another. There is so much truth, power and encouragement packed into this little chapter tucked away in the book of Psalms. As you read each verse, let it truly sink in. Ask the Holy Spirit to let it change and transform you. It is a beautiful, powerful Psalm. *The Lord is my Shepherd~ a Shepherd takes care of EVERY SINGLE need His sheep have. They are 100% dependent on Him. Philippians 4:19, Isaiah 40:11, John 10:11 *I shall not want~ When I was younger, I used to think that this meant I shouldn’t want “things”, that I should be content with what I have. Now that I have lived life for almost 60 years, I understand it so much better. He has ALWAYS provided for me. I may not have felt it in the moment, but when I look back at every hard situation I have been through, God made sure I had everything I needed. Because He is our shepherd, He will make sure we have everything we need. We will want for nothing that isn’t absolutely needed. Psalm 37:25 *He makes me lie down in green pastures~ green pastures are lush. They are nourishing and they are comforting. When we abide in God’s word and trials come, the Holy Spirit will bring to our minds comforting scripture to help us get through it. John 6:63, 14:26, 15:7 *He leads me beside the still waters~ sheep get startled easily, the presence of Jesus leads us to stillness and rest, away from the chaos and stress all around us and anything that might bring us fear. Revelation 7:17 *He restores my soul~ even the times we find ourselves fearful, or exhausted, He always restores us. “God can restore the joy of our salvation (Psalm 51:12) and bring us back to where we began believing in Him” Sarah Freymuth. Philippians 4:13, Deuteronomy 31:6, Isaiah 40:31, 41:10, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Matthew 11:28, Psalm 31:24, 51:12 *He leads me in the path of righteousness for His names sake~ God will lead us on the correct path no matter how far we stray, all to His glory. “God’s glory is tied to His goodness, and God’s goodness is tied to His name” Sarah Frazer. Psalm 5:8, Ephesians 1:18-19, Isaiah 58:8, Psalm 31:3, 138:7, John 17: 15,17,22-23 *Though I walk through the valley, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me~ Our valley may be the darkest we have ever walked through, but we have the assurance from His word that there is nothing to fear because He is always with us. “Often, our next step isn’t walking forward; it’s remembering who God is. God is loving. God is kind. God is patient. God is just. God is all-capable and all-knowing. God is forgiving. God is generous. God is good. Praying these truths about who God is will comfort us in our panic.” Lysa TerKeurst. Psalm 3:6, 27:1, Hebrews 13:5, Romans 8:38-39 *Thy rod and staff comfort me~ a rod and staff can be for chastisement, but also for leading and guiding. Whatever we are going through, it is ultimately used for our good. This verse takes us back to verses 2 & 3, almost as if we need to hear it again. He will lead us to the paths of righteousness, but He will also comfort us along the way. *Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies~ who or what are your enemies? Your thoughts? Your fears? Your insecurities? Physical ailments? Unrest? People that continually hurt or anger you? Whatever that enemy is that is surrounding you, you can sit and eat at the table of God’s bounty, because He is sitting there with you. This is such a beautiful picture. I can almost see myself surrounded by war on every side, yet sitting at a feast in complete peace. That’s what God can do in our lives. That is powerful. Philippians 4:7, Proverbs 16:7, Isaiah 26:3-4, *Thou anointest my head with oil~ Jesus has covered you in the anointing oil of prayer. What a beautiful thought. Jesus prays for us. Oil is also a symbol for rejoicing, gladness and God’s blessing in jewish society. Psalm 45:7, 104:15, John 17:15, 17, 22-23 *My cup runs over~ we are blessed beyond measure, our cups run over with blessings if we will just open our eyes to see it. James 1:17 *Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life~ God’s goodness will always be with us. Always. Until we take our last breath. His mercy will always pour over us. His compassion and forgiveness will never cease. Psalm 78:38-39, Lamentations 3:22-23, Hebrews 4:16, Ephesians 2:4-7, 1 Peter 1:3 *And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever~ always with God whether here on earth or in heaven one day. An eternity spent with the One who loves us more than anything. John 5:24, Romans 6:23, John 1:12, Matthew 28:20 Such simple truths to cling to~ whether we’re laying in that lush grass of comfort and peace, or walking through the darkest valley~ they literally hold the answer to every circumstance we might face. Preach them to yourself often, dwell on them and hide them in your heart. Teach them to your children and your children’s children. Psalms 71:18, 78:4, 100:5, 102:18, 145:4 The Lord is my Shepherd. Oh the sweetness that promise holds.
10/7/2023
Peace Be StillI barely came up for air when another wave crashed down upon me.
There had been a respite. I felt His peace, and relief swept over me. Trials seemed to be eased, and prayers answered. Until this week. It wasn’t a horrible diagnosis, a job loss or a death. It was a small attack of satan in the middle of the night as I slept peacefully, completely unaware. For the second time in a week, my Facebook account was hacked. Not only was it hacked, but the person posing as me posted evil pictures on my page, and in a chat. I woke up to a notification on my phone. Facebook told me I had violated their policies and I was locked out. I was sick inside. I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t even defend myself. I couldn’t tell any of you, or ask for prayer. I felt so confused inside. Was this Satan attacking me, or God trying to teach me something? I prayed all day. I also tried to refute the issue, and somehow defend myself in order to get control back of my page. But at the end of the day, my weary heart realized it wasn’t in my control at all. It actually never was. And honestly, Meta may think they have control, but God has the final say. So I had to ask myself~ do I have enough faith to trust Him through this? What if Holding Hope disappeared? What if 12,000 followers became 1 and I had to start all over? What if I couldn’t use this platform to reach others again? What if God was saying “no” to me, would that be ok? What if the “busy” things I was complaining about in my heart last week were my reality this week? I am not questioning God. I am asking Him for discernment and wisdom to know why this is happening. I am checking my own heart for sin. I am asking God to overcome the wicked one, and the darkness that seemed to have won. It’s incredibly hard for me to be able to read the comments on my posts, comments asking for prayer or saying things are hard right now~and I am unable to respond. I am unable to encourage. But, encouragement won’t end with me. If my page were to end today, God is faithful. He will send others to those in need of encouragement. I am reminded of my words from last week again. I am not God. God will be God, with or without me, and He will get the glory. Satan may have attacked, but God has taught me so much in just a few short days. He is my light in the darkness. His light will continue to shine and He will prevail. And if I am able, that is the message I want to leave with you. Whatever you are facing today, continue to pray through it. That is literally all I can do right now. Continue to check your own heart. Continue to ask God for wisdom and discernment. Continue to fight that darkness with Jesus’ light. Even if you were falsely accused. Even if you can’t defend yourself. Even if you feel all is lost. Even when it looks like Satan has won and the winds and waves are just too much to bear, remember~ our God walks on water and our God walks on the wings of the wind. Our God is light in that darkness. Our God always makes a way. This morning I came back up for air and the winds and the waves did not overcome. I could hear His very words~Peace be still. And so I wait. As I write this I am still locked out, but I’m not alone. God is in complete control. None of this came as a surprise to Him. You are not alone either. You are never alone. God is with you. His light will shine through your darkness. He will calm the storms around you and He will prevail when all seems lost. Even in the unknown~The battle has already been won my friends, and Jesus is our Victor!! SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 139:11-12 Psalm 34:4, 6, 8, 15, 17, 19, 22 1 Corinthians 10:13 Psalm 35:1-2, 7, 9-12, 15-23, 25, 27-28 Psalm 36:5, 7, 9-11 Psalm 37:1, 3-7, 23-26, 32-33, 35-36, 39-40 Psalm 104:3 Mark 4:39-40 Matthew 14:25, 27, 30-33 1 Corinthians 15:57 Romans 8:37 2 Corinthians 2:14 Deuteronomy 20:4 Romans 8:31 John 16:33 Isaiah 55:11
9/22/2023
Sorrow And JoyA bit of sadness awaits me, just around the corner. It’s hovering there in the autumn winds, like a storm rolling in. I don’t think about it, I just feel it in my bones.
Autumn is one of my favorite times of the year. As a child, the fall months seemed to make me thrive. They brought me joy. There was such a freedom, running around in the crisp air as vibrant leaves showered the earth with color. I absolutely loved everything about fall. I still do, but 50+ years later, heartache upon heartache has changed the way fall feels for me. I can’t escape it. I can’t pretend it didn’t happen. I don’t even think about it, I just feel it. On two separate occasions, it was during the autumn months that heartbreaking betrayal left me in darkness. Darkness that lasted a long time. It was also a crisp November morning, one week before my birthday, that my mom passed away suddenly. It was in early October, just three years ago, that my dear friend went home to heaven. The very day after his funeral, my precious dad passed away unexpectedly as well. And this year, my sweet friend found out she doesn’t have long to live. As the cozy fall vibes splash across social media and I’m reaching for my blanket on chilly nights, all of these moments whisper on the winds. My mind goes there without me even thinking about it. I miss my loved ones. I miss the years that were taken as I tried to dig myself out of a dark pit. I miss a future with my friend. A few months after my dad passed away, I remember laughing for the first time. Truly laughing. And immediately after the laughter, sadness engulfed me. Because I remembered. I ask myself, can I have joy and sadness at the same time? Will I ever be free in the fall months to thrive like I did when I was a child? Will this heaviness that the sadness brings ever feel lighter? I am absolutely sure of one thing, the answer is yes. God wants me to have joy. Satan wants to rob me of that joy. I long to be oblivious like the rest of the social media world seems to be. I want to turn on football games, get out those cute fall boots and put on a cozy sweater. I want to drink pumpkin spice “everything”, and smile as I gaze upon the beautiful colors of God’s masterpiece falling from limbs in the sky. Like nothing bad ever happened. With God’s help, I still can. You can too ladies. When heartache grips us, often our humanity does too. We remember. We want things to be like they were when our hearts were free, before the sadness came. We want to hold on to the comfort that once was. Because of this, we are incapable of moving on past the heartache without the help of the Holy Spirit. But when we ask the Holy Spirit to fill us and to empower us, we can readily apply God’s word to our broken hearts. His words that tell us to forget those things which are behind. That the devil comes to steal and destroy, but that the joy of the Lord is our strength. To lay aside every weight that we carry on our shoulders and look ahead at Jesus. And that is exactly what I am doing. I know God understands our humanity. Paul reminded us with the words~”as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing”. Jesus Himself wept, even though He knew the joy that was coming. There will always be sorrow on this earth, because sin brings sorrow. We are born into that darkness, but God is our light. I know that He knows when our hearts are hurting and I believe that yes, we can have joy and sorrow at the same time. We can because as a believer, our sorrow isn’t without hope. We can because our joy isn’t found in the temporary, it’s found in the eternal and even though our weeping may last for a moment, our eternal joy will last a lifetime. Just like the wind takes hold of all the beautiful leaves and showers the earth with color, the wind seems to have taken the beauty of my “befores” that I once held so close. But my God walks on the wings of the wind!! And I know that if He had never taken some of that beauty from my life, He couldn’t use me to shower the earth with its vibrant colors. Colors of encouragement for others. Colors that hold Hope. I’m not going to lie and say I have been miraculously changed, and the sadness is gone. My humanity wants my life to stay beautiful. Not to change. Not to lose its vibrant colors and the comfort of my “befores”. I read a great quote this week that said~”Looking back doesn't enable us to go back, and more times than not, it just makes us stuck”*. It’s a daily (sometimes hourly) battle to hand that heaviness over to Jesus. But when I truly do this, when I pray and ask Him to take it~because I can’t seem to let it go, I find freedom. And in that freedom, I find joy. So today, join me as the tears fall, but our hearts smile. Take my hand~ Let’s walk with our great God on the wings of the wind. Scripture Reading: “Who walketh upon the wings of the wind:” Psalm 104:3 Psalm 30:5 John 14:27 John 15:9, 11 John 16:22, 24 1 John 1:4-5 Psalm 19:8 Psalm 94:17, 19 2 Corinthians 6:10 Romans 14:17 Philippians 3:13-14 John 10:10 Hebrews 12:1-2 Hebrews 4:15-16 Psalm 144:15 Psalm 16:11 1 Peter 1:8 Jude 1:24 Romans 15:13, 32 Ephesians 3:16-21 *Christine Caine
9/15/2023
Just Show UpI’ll never forget the evening I was cleaning the restrooms at our church. I was all alone. My dad had just passed away, and my heart was hurting deeply. I was crying pretty hard, when a couple from church happened to show up. It wasn’t planned. They didn’t know I was there. They came to clean too. I tried to gain my composure before they saw me. When they did, she smiled~until she realized I was crying. And then she hugged me. She didn’t speak, she just allowed me to cry. She knew, because she had been down this path herself…
My husband has pastored here in our little town since 1995, and even though our church is small, we have had a very large amount of heartache. One of the hardest things about ministering in the same place for so long is having to see our dear ones go through this heartache~ or having to say goodbye to them as they leave this earth. I honestly think the ladies that have graced the hallways of my little church are super heroes. So many of my sisters in Christ have literally been through horrific heartache and trauma, and yet they stand faithful in their walk with God. I have seen their children, young and old, taken from this world. I have seen spouses suffer and die. I have seen illness and disease invade their fragile bodies. I have seen precious memories lost to dementia. I have seen infertility and miscarriage. I have seen abuse and infidelity. I have seen marriages end. I have seen wayward children and financial loss. I have seen their pain over and over again. And I have seen their light shine. Their smile. Their praise. Their faithfulness. Their strength. And I am undone. I am in awe. Because I know it can only be of God. And then there is me. I am not strong. My heart feels it would crumble when faced with similar circumstances. I get scared, anxious and even depressed. I am an introvert. When heartache hits home, my personality wants to hide. I don’t want to be with people. I don’t want to talk about it, and I don’t want to pretend I’m okay in public. Too often, I fake it. It’s much easier for me to talk about heartache when I can hide behind a laptop screen. I can encourage, but also allow the tears to flow. But when I am in the middle of that pain, it’s much harder for me to be an encouragement and show up, let alone talk about it face to face. But my ladies have shown up. They have talked about it. And I have listened. The ladies of my church have forged through the deep and dark. They have left a clear path for me to walk through. They have stood on the other side smiling back at me, shining their light as a beacon of hope and encouragement. Some have left and gone home to heaven, but they were faithful until their last breath. Others are here with me still. Still fighting the battle. Still smiling. Still praising… I don’t think they know how much of an impact they have had on my life. They cheer me on and are living testimonies of God’s words without even realizing. God’s words that proclaim~ When I am weak I am strong~ The peace that passes understanding~ I will send you a comforter~ I will never leave you or forsake you~ All things work together for the good~ Let your light so shine~ Comforting others the same way God has comforted you~ Pressing toward the mark and standing on the Rock~ And having done all… to stand. And I know, that if they can do it, I can too. I can be strong through Christ. Their strength gives me strength. I can have the peace that passes understanding. I can be comforted and be a comforter. I can let my light shine, and stand when I think I am too weak and will surely fall. That’s why it’s so important to stay in God’s word, continually talking to Him and being reminded of His promises. And that is why it is so important to have precious godly friends. Friends that lean into the arms of Jesus, and then draw you in with them. Friends who pray for you and encourage you in your pain. Friends who have walked through it, and sit with you in it. And that’s why it’s so important to encourage others if you have already gone down that path. So that you can always remind them~ We can’t do this life without Jesus, but with Jesus~ nothing is impossible. And so, I look at my own heart. What kind of friend will I be? What kind of friend will you be? Will we lean into Jesus or hide our light in the loneliness of despair? Of this one thing I am sure~ someone out there needs your light. Someone needs your testimony. Someone needs to walk behind you and know in their desperation that, with God’s power they will make it. Someone needs to see you leaning into Jesus and someone needs you to pull them in with you. To encourage and cheer them on. To smile and reach out your hand from the other side. Someone needs you. We just have to show up. 2 Corinthians 12:9&10 Philippians 4:6&7 John 14:26 Deuteronomy 31:6 Hebrews 13:5&6 Romans 8:28 Matthew 5:16 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 Ephesians 6:13 James 5:16 Philippians 3:14 Matthew 7:24-25 1 Thessalonians 5:11-13 Ephesians 3:16-21 Philippians 1:3-6
9/8/2023
Pain Has A Purpose“Pain has a purpose.”
When I am in the middle of heartache, I don’t want to hear that. There have been seasons in my life where I could not see any purpose in the pain I was going through, because I allowed Satan to tell me otherwise. Times I thought that perhaps God was punishing me, or felt as if God was nowhere to be found. Thoughts based on feelings, and not God’s truth. As a pastor’s wife and child of God I always felt it was my “job” to encourage. My life should be a picture of joy and happiness, a light shining for the world to see. And so, for a very long time I kept my pain neatly tucked away, deep down where no one could see it except Jesus. But then God told me to start this Facebook page. Suddenly I am sharing my life with the world. An open book. And I am vulnerable. But I do it. And the more I share, the more I see the purpose. God never asked me to hide my pain. I believe He wants me to share it so that others going through similar heartache can know, they are not alone. I can honestly cheer you on and tell you~“You can do this!!” Because with God’s help, I have. It has caused me to pray and trust God more than ever before. When I am in the middle of a really hard season, this page has made me realize that my journey hasn’t just been about heartache. My life has had so much beauty, beauty that far outweighs the pain. Beauty that tips the scales. Satan doesn’t want me to realize that. He doesn’t want you to realize it either. Within the last two weeks, three major prayer requests of mine have been answered. I had been praying for one for over 6 years. I had been praying for one for over 6 months and I had been praying for one for over 6 weeks. The days and weeks leading up to these answers were absolutely brutal, but God answered in phenomenal ways. Like literally~ ”Fall to my knees, miracle working” ways. I felt like a child at Christmas. Tears were shed. Praises were said. I could not stop thinking about how awesome God is. Until yesterday. Only seven short days later. I don’t know if it was fatigue. I don’t know if it was hormones. I don’t know if it was just the fact that all those buried emotions came to the surface~ but I could not stop crying. I tried to read my bible. I tried to pray, but the tears continued to flow. Not good tears. Not happy tears. Sad, mixed up, ‘filled with lies’ tears. And I realized right then and there that this life is a continual battle. That our armor has to always be on, because Satan will always attack, especially when we are feeling weak. He knows just how to get to me. My weakness is my thought life. He plants the thought, and I am so naive that I just continue to water it. It gets bigger and bigger until I am convinced it is true and I can’t get past it. I think that I can’t pray because my heart isn’t right, and I find myself stuck in a mess of my own making. In a moment of weakness I have forgotten all of God’s goodness and believed all of satan’s lies. And I’ll be honest, after months of “hard”, I am tired. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to be in this battle. My brain is frazzled and I don’t want to think about anything. I don’t want to pray in these moments. I don’t want to get into God’s word. I want to sit on my couch, binge watch a show and eat ice cream. Heres the truth ladies~ WE HAVE TO FIGHT! Here’s another truth~ God wants us to have joy, satan doesn’t. Here’s another truth~ God’s words are power. Prayer is our life line. God has answered countless requests, He has come through for us time and time again. He has given us beauty from ashes. He has never left us. He has loved us more than life itself. The VERY life of His Son. That is true love… A week ago we took our 6 grandchildren up north for a little getaway. The days were filled with fun and laughter, lots of hugs, kisses and snuggles, but when bedtime came, so did the tears. Two separate nights, two of my grandchildren could not sleep because they were scared. They were scared because they were laying in bed allowing their thoughts to run rampant. I didn’t get mad. I held them close and allowed the tears to come, and then I asked them if the things that were making them scared were true. They knew they weren’t. I asked them if God wanted them to be sad. They knew He didn’t. I told them only the devil wants you to be scared and sad, not God. He wants us happy. And I told them to tell that devil to get lost, because God was with them. I encouraged them with something I used to tell my own children~to lay in bed and think about God’s goodness and all the wonderful, happy moments He has given us. Like Christmas morning. Like Jesus. It seemed too easy, but they were smiling and ended up falling right to sleep. Because that’s what child like faith looks like. And I wan’t to always have that kind of faith. I might not ever know the purpose behind some of the pain I have walked through, but I do know this. I never walked alone. It may have been an extremely lonely journey at times, but God never left my side. He didn’t get mad when I was scared and crying. Instead, He reminded me of His truths. Powerful truths to fight the lies. And when my focus turned to His truth, my heart could dwell on His goodness to me, and help me to remember all the beautiful ‘Christmas morning’ moments of my life. I want to encourage you today to keep fighting. To keep speaking God’s truths over satan’s lies. To remember how much God loves you and how He wants your life to be filled with joy. Don’t believe the lies ladies. Don’t fall into the same trap I did. Stop trying to figure out the purpose and just dwell in His presence. Once you do, you will see the path He has for you and realize that’s exactly where your fullness of joy is found. I desperately want you to know that there is beauty on the other side, and maybe one day the story of your pain will bring hope to others. You will cheer them on with the words~ ”You can do it!!” Because through God’s power~ You will know that you already have!! Psalm 16:11, 27:11-14, 34:19 Romans 8:18,24-39, 15:13 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, 4:16-18, 12:10 Philippians 1:6 Isaiah 61:1-3 1 Peter 4:13 James 1:12 2 Timothy 4:5 John 16:33
9/1/2023
Come Into His PresenceIn the last few months my prayer life has been utterly chaotic. I’m a list girl and a homebody. I like simple days where I check off my to do’s and feel a sense of organized accomplishment at the end of that day. I’m sure it’s a control issue, and not always very realistic.
Ideally, I like to start each day spending time with God. Getting my coffee. Sitting in bed, reading His words and praying. Something in me craves this early morning organization and quiet. When painful, busy, heartbreaking moments hit day after day and that control and quiet is suddenly taken from me ~ I begin to get desperate. I find myself crying and telling God I can’t do it. I’m too tired. I am depleted. I need rest. I need just a few moments alone with Him. And in my self pity, I neglect to see that God has orchestrated all of this chaos for my good. Even when it feels far from good. Several months back I decided to be more committed to prayer throughout my day. My phone has always been a distraction to me, and I wanted to put it to better use. I changed the pictures on my lock screen so that a different picture continually pops up. I chose beautiful beaches and sunsets as the back drop, and then added names or groups to each picture. All of my children and their spouses. My grandchildren. Our church family. our extended family, etc. Each time a different name popped up, I would pray for that person/persons. I was vigilant in the beginning, but as my days of ease and comfort crept by, I didn’t always pray for the person on my screen when I picked up that phone. Until life turned upside down. Week after week went by, and due to hard and sometimes heartbreaking circumstances beyond my control, organized time with God became almost obsolete. I found myself asking God why. I found myself losing hope. I found myself crying and wondering how this could be for my good when I couldn’t even spend time with Him. And then God showed me. Throughout the hard days and weeks and months, I had prayed to God more than I ever did before. It wasn’t neatly organized with my bible and coffee cup in hand, it was desperation. It was heavy. It was chaotic. It was continual. It was pleading. It was lamenting. It was crying. Every time I picked up that phone and read the names there, it was consciously begging God to help, and comfort, and work miracles. Did my miracles come? Were my prayers all answered? No. I am still begging and lamenting and crying out to Him, but now I am also praising. Because the more I cried out to Him, the more I felt His presence. He took me and wrapped His arms around me and held me. He has walked with me through the chaos. I have never been alone. He let me cry. He let me lament. He allowed me to ask all the “why’s” and in His sweet, tender mercy and grace~ He loved me and drew me in even closer. And as my minutes of chaos pass each day, I feel His peace with me like I never have before. Maybe you’re going through a time like this yourself. Maybe you’re wondering where God is in all of this. He has never been closer. He’s always been right there with you. He’s walking behind you to catch you when you fall, he’s walking with you so that you can lean on Him when you’re weary and He’s walking ahead of you, continually making sure your path is an easier road to travel. Amid the chaos and pain, we may not even realize it, but minute by minute He’s taking our burdens on Himself. Life would be so much harder without Him. Sometimes we just can’t see that. Today I want you to take His hand as He leads you through your chaos. Lean on Him and tell Him all about it. All throughout your day continue to talk to Him~ wherever you are, whatever you are doing. You will feel your burden become lighter, even when the chaotic circumstances around you have not changed. And you will know. It’s all because of Him. Jesus never told us to come with our prayer journal neatly situated on our lap, coffee cup in hand and worship music playing softly in the background. There are no special requirements needed for coming into His presence, except to just come. Wherever we are. Whatever we are doing. Just come. His presence will overwhelm your tired soul with hope, and give you unimaginable peace again. Psalm 139, 145:18-19 Matthew 11:28 1 Peter 1:3-9
8/18/2023
Don’t StopI am scared.
And I can’t process it. Countless times in my past I always knew God was in control, despite the pain I might have been going through at the time. Trusting God hasn’t been an issue for me. My faith has always felt so strong. But somehow, this time is different. Awaiting an answer to prayer. And if it is the answer I don’t want to hear, I’m afraid I won’t trust God when I hear the outcome. Because I won’t understand why. And it’s breaking my heart. I want to trust. I want to have faith, but just thinking about one resulting answer as opposed to another, and the pain it could bring, brings me to my knees. My faith has never been challenged so deeply. My stomach feels sick and my heart races. How can the days of waiting seem like an eternity, yet too fast all at the same time? Waiting and praying and begging God. And the fear. I thought I had so much faith, but this has done me in. I am truly scared. Because what if God’s will is not what I had so desperately hoped for? Will I still love Him? Will I trust Him? Will I be able to glorify Him still, or see that somehow it’s for my child’s good? It doesn’t feel good. Even as I write these words, through tears my heart is saying I won’t. And that terrifies me. In all my 57 years, I have never been at a crossroads like this. I have written countless posts on faith and trust, on God being in control and the peace that passes understanding, but this time. This time I feel completely at a loss. My faith is smaller than a mustard seed, like a dust particle floating past me. I keep trying to grasp at it, but it disappears. No words seem to comfort me in this moment. No scripture seems to bring peace. And even though I don’t know the outcome, I find myself asking God why. Because, as desperately as I am trying to hold on to it, my hope has slowly been fading away. Just like my faith. A tiny particle that I can’t seem to grasp. So, why write a post like this? Because I want you to know that just like the Psalmist David, sometimes all we can do is cry out to God. Pour our hearts out to Him and leave it all there. We might not know how to go on from here. We might feel hopeless and alone, even desperate… In this moment, that is how I feel. Maybe you feel this way too. All I can do is to keep crying out to Him. I won’t stop. I might not understand any of this, and maybe all my heart can do is cry, but I will cry to Him. I might feel like He isn’t listening. That He doesn’t love me. That He doesn’t care, but I won’t stop calling out His name. I won’t stop. I will remember His promises. I will remember the thousands of times He has come through for me. When I reach the other side of that outcome, whatever it might be~ I won’t stop. Because if I did, I let Satan win. And if it isn’t the answer I longed for and I cannot trust my emotions, in my weak and feeble state I will trust His word. I will repeat it over and over and over to my broken heart. I will speak its truth into my unbelief. And as the sunshine streams across my tear stained face, I will open my eyes and see. Thousands of dust particles floating in its brilliance. And I will fight to remember. Jesus, my Hope~ He has always been faithful. I don’t have to grasp at those particles. They surround me because The Son’s presence surrounds me. I will whisper His name continually through the tears. I won’t stop. And that tiny dust particle is enough. Don’t stop. Whatever you are going though. Don’t stop. Your tiny dust particle is enough. Psalms of lament~ 6, 13, 22, 25, 28, 31, 38, 40, 42, 46, 55, 56, 69, 71, 77, 86, 88, 102, 130, 139, 142, 143 2 Corinthians 1:3&4 Psalms 31:16, 37:5&6, 67:1, 80:3&19, 116 Let’s think outside the box today. What is your enemy/enemies?
Notice I did not ask “who” your enemy was. Quite often we find ourselves in circumstances beyond our control. Those circumstances cause our hearts to be heavy and our thoughts to spiral, so we look for things to blame for those circumstances. A person that hurt us. A health problem. A financial scare. Watching those we love suffer. Such has been my case for the last few months. My adult children have been suffering, and I’ll be honest~it’s been way too hard. Anxiety and sleeplessness have prevailed. Countless tears have been shed. It’s been discouraging and frightening. It’s been physically and emotionally draining. It’s been me trying to blame the circumstances and problems for all the emotions I just listed. The reality is, the problem has been in my head. The multitude of thoughts within me have been on the problems instead of God’s promises. I realized that this morning. My reading was Psalm 1-8. Very familiar passages. Because I have read these chapters so many times, I actually had the fleeting thought that they would not bring me the comfort I was desperately needing today. But just like God always does, my eyes were opened once again. Let me break it down for you. Psalm 1:2~’His delight is in God’s word and he meditates on it day and night.’ I immediately realized I have been meditating on the darkness my kids have been walking through, and trying to somehow find a way to fix problems or bring them comfort, instead of meditating on God’s words and leaning on them. Psalm 3:1&2~’There are so many that trouble me, rise up against me and convince me that God will not help.’ So often when we read the Psalms, particularly verses like these, we think of physical people. Here is where I want you to think outside the box. What if you added~ Many “thoughts” trouble me. Many “thoughts” rise up against me. Many “thoughts” convince me that God cannot help. Because~ isn’t that the truth? God tells us over and over again that He loves us. He will help us. His plan is for our good. He will never leave us. But we let the enemy, our thoughts, convince us otherwise. *Our enemy called discouragement. *Our enemy called fear. *Our enemy called sadness. *Our enemy called unbelief. *Our enemy called hard. *Our enemy called anger or loneliness. *Our enemy called tired, depleted and empty. *Our enemy that tells us we can’t do this. We can’t go on. That it’s hopeless. Psalm 3:3~’But’. I’m so thankful for that little word, because it brings hope. ‘But God. God is our shield, our glory and the lifter up of our head.’ This verse really struck me. My daughter just had a baby girl 2 weeks ago. As my husband was holding her, she kept trying to hold her head up to look at him. We were amazed at the strength she had for only being 2 weeks old, but eventually her tiny self could not keep up. She let out the sweetest little cry and then she just laid down against my husband and in all that coziness, she fell fast asleep. You know where I’m going with this. When my feelings tell me that things will never look up, God literally just told me ‘He is the lifter up of my head’, not me. He is my strength when my tiny self has no strength. And then… Psalm 3:4&5~’I cried to God and He sustained me and I slept in peace.’ It isn’t until I realize all the things above that sleep and peace will come. It isn’t until I cry out to God and realize that it is He who holds me and sustains me and that I cannot do it myself, that I can lay down against Him and in all that coziness, rest in His peace. Psalm 3:6&8~ And that’s when I realize that ‘I don’t have to be afraid of ten thousand thoughts’ that enter this mama’s mind and fight against me. Because God is my strength and salvation. He is my children’s strength and salvation. His blessings are upon us. There is so much more here~ Psalm 4:1~God gives us relief when we are in distress. Psalm 4:3~The Lord has set us apart and will hear when we call. Psalm 4:4&5~I can be still when I put my trust in God, even when the thoughts creep in and say, ‘Will things ever be good again? Who will help me?’ Psalm 4:6~I know God will. His light will break through all the darkness and shine on me and my children. Psalm 4:7&8, 5:11&12~And God will put gladness and joy in my heart again. Sleeplessness will be replaced with joy. Psalm 5:3~And in the morning, I will look up at God, but things will be different because I won’t be trying to do it in my own strength anymore. He will be holding me.
7/7/2023
I Was Just A KidWhen I was younger, I was teased a lot. Mostly by boys, and not in a good way. Quite often the remarks went along the lines of my appearance. My boyish hair cut and body shape only added fuel to the fire. And even though I was just a kid, I can remember those remarks like it was yesterday, and they still sting…
There are many mistakes I made as a mom. I think most moms end up feeling this way at some point. Even today I worry that I disappoint my adult children, and they see a different mom than the one I hope to be. But one of my greatest regrets is not taking lessons from my own life, and praying specifically for those areas in the lives of my children. Years after the fact, I found out that my own kids went through teasing and heartache when they were younger. Heartache that they never told me about. That knowledge brings the tears. My heart hurts deeply for the little souls they once were. I thought we talked about everything. But then I realized, I never told my own mom about the comments that were made about me when I was younger. I kept them to myself and cried silently in bed at night. I prayed about so many things for my children, but there were so many other things I could have been praying about. My heart is burdened today to encourage mamas with children of all ages to get down on your knees and go to the throne of God for your kids. They are fighting battles from day 1 that we may never know about. I’m so thankful that as I have gotten older I’ve realized this, and as I look back at the struggles I had and the battles I fought, I can now pray specifically for my children in those areas. But their childhood is past. I can’t go back and change it. And even though they were just kids, the memories of all the bad still hold on. Satan has a way of doing that to us. And it discourages and defeats and depresses. So today, I am even more determined to bathe my kids in prayer. I can’t change the past but Jesus can change their future. He can change their outlook. He can give them victory. I don’t think parents can ever pray too much for their children, it is so incredibly important. Prayer is like breathing life into them. But I also remember those early stages of motherhood. When they’re little, sometimes it’s hard to see past the “now” into the future. We pray for things that are relevant. We pray for their salvation or their hearts to remain pure, we pray for their attitudes or their obedience. We pray for their personalities and characteristics, but too often we forget to pray for their minds. Their thought life. We forget to pray for their battles. Perhaps because we only see them as kids, and what might feel like a battle to them seems small and insignificant to us. Because we forget the battles we fought. The battles in our mind that still remain. Don’t forget mom. What is going on in their life right now will remain with them forever. Your prayers can change their futures. Prayers for protection against things that are said and done. Prayers that our own words and actions will uplift and encourage them. Prayers that they will always know how much they are loved by us, but more importantly by God. Prayers that their futures won’t be determined by the wrongful actions of others. Prayers that they will always come to you and share their hearts. Prayers that they will know, they can always go to you and ask for prayer. Because they know you’re a praying mom. Pray specifically mama. Talk to them about the battles you fought as a child. Ask your children questions. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to pray for your them. Don’t spend more time worrying about their circumstances than you spend on your knees talking to God on their behalf. Don’t look back and regret the fact that you missed the battles they were fighting, because they were literally fighting for their future. Cover that future in prayer. So many negative thoughts can be traced back to a childhood memory. Don’t allow Satan to have that victory over your kids. It’s built into a mama’s DNA to protect her children, but too often in the early years we focus so much on their physical well being and protection that we neglect to pray for the thoughts their futures will hold. You fight on your knees for them from the moment you find out you are going to be a mama. Day 1. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. They’re only kids, but they are your kids. Make sure they know they have a praying mama. There is no greater gift you can give your child. SCRIPTURE READING: Philippians 4:6,8 Deuteronomy 31:6 Matthew 22:37 I Peter 5:7&8 Romans 8:31-35,37-39, 12:2 Psalm 34:17-20, 71:18, 78:4,6&7, 94:19, 127:1-3, 147:3 2 Corinthians 10:5 Hebrews 4:12 Isaiah 26:3, 41:10, 54:13&17 Proverbs 3:5-6, 4:23 Ephesians 6:17
6/30/2023
When Life Isn’t A Joy RideI honestly don’t know how long I had been driving before I noticed the red and blue lights flashing in my rear view mirror. We live in a rural area. Long stretches of road with nothing but fields and beautiful views for miles. It’s wonderful, and doesn’t give much occasion to glance back at any oncoming traffic. Traffic is pretty nonexistent. I was singing along to some worship music with several kids in tow. Probably why I didn’t hear the siren. My children and their cousins were the reason I finally noticed. Fighting had ensued, followed by yelling (from me) “to knock it off or I’ll pull over!” It wasn’t until that moment that I finally looked in my mirror to see if they were obeying. Instead, I spotted flashing lights beckoning me to stop. So I pulled over. It wasn’t pretty. Apparently I had been speeding. 🤷🏼♀️ I was flustered, and when prompted to surrender proof of insurance, said proof could not be found. The officer returned to his vehicle, and of course that’s when I found it. When he came back I smiled cheerfully and said “I found it!” to which he replied. “Too late. I’m writing you a ticket.” My cheerfulness went right out the window. I’m sure the kids heard about it the rest of the way home. Isn’t that how life can be at times? We think we’re doing all the right things. We go to church and Bible studies. We read devotionals and blogs. We listen to podcasts and sing along to worship music. We coast through life enjoying the view, and then suddenly we are hit with an inconvenient attack from the devil. And we lose it. What we don’t realize is that~ all along Satan has been right on our tail but we were being too “spiritual” to notice. Too often all the good things take the place of the best things and when that inconvenience strikes, we can’t fight it. Suddenly we’re searching for truth, but we’re already in trouble. The Christian life isn’t just a joy ride. It’s a battle. We live in a day where knowledge and opinions are at our fingertips. So many people are telling us how we should live, that we don’t even search for that truth ourselves. We let others do that work, and in the process we miss out on all the wonders God has specifically for us. Wonders that only come from time spent with Him. Reading His words. Asking the Holy Spirit to show us what we need. Listening to the voice of God speak to our hearts. We want easy. We want quick. We want to glide through life and not have to dig for the answers. For the proof. Eventually Satan catches up to us. God’s word tells us that he goes about seeking who he can devour. How can we be prepared? By keeping God’s armor on at all times. The armor of God is so much more than a great Sunday School lesson or Vacation Bible School theme. It’s something you can study and glean countless knowledge from. I’m going to share a quick overview, but I HIGHLY recommend you get into God’s word yourself and look up scripture references that correlate with every piece of God’s armor. Armor God has specifically made for you! 1. The Belt of Truth- you cannot know what is truth if you aren’t in God’s word. Don’t let someone else tell you what is truth, read it for yourself. Jesus tells us HE is the way and the truth. God tells us to think on whatsoever things are true. Our hearts can so easily be deceived (even by ourselves) when we don’t know God’s truth. 2. The Breastplate of Righteousness- Righteousness only comes from Jesus. All our righteousness is like filthy rags. Nothing else can take the place of Jesus and the protection that He gives your heart and soul. 3. Shoes Fit for the Gospel of Peace- There is so much to learn from God’s word on the gospel of peace. God’s peace passes ALL understanding. When we are attacked, is this the reaction the world sees from us? 4. The Shield of Faith- Our faith will always be tested (proved) and it will not remain strong if we are continually relying on others for knowledge from God’s word. Faith strengthens when time is spent with the God of all strength. 5. The Helmet of Salvation- This is of utmost importance. Without the gift of salvation received by faith, the battle cannot be won. God’s gift of His Son’s death on the cross rescues us from eternal damnation. It renews and transforms our minds against anything the devil tries to deceive us with. Once received, salvation can never be taken away. It is our protection for eternity. 6. The Sword of the Spirit-God’s word is so powerful. It’s inspired. It speaks to our soul and spirit. It shows us doctrine, reproof, correction and instruction. I didn’t think it was fair when I received a ticket for not providing proof of insurance “fast enough”, because I still provided the proof. I’m not trying to compare that police officer to Satan but… 😂 Here’s the thing~Satan doesn’t play fair. Don’t coast through life on a joy ride with Satan on your tail, because he will catch up. Have your proof always ready and when he does show up, just speaking the name of Jesus will be your truth, because you know you’re ready for that battle. You’re strong in the Lord and the power of HIS might. His armor is all you need. Praise God for the gift He gives us in others, in the beautiful feet of those who share the gospel of peace. We all need specific men and women that God places in our lives, but their words should never take the place of HIS WORDS. Instead of allowing someone else (this blog included) to tell you how God is speaking to you, spend time in the presence of God Himself. That is a sweet, precious intimacy between you and your Savior. Nothing else can take its place. SCRIPTURE READING: John 8:32, 10:28-30, 14:16&27, 16:13&33, 17:17 Philippians 4:6-8 Isaiah 64:6 Romans 3:22&23, 10:15&17, 12:2&3, 15:13 Titus 3:5-7 James 3:17&18 Ephesians 2:8&9, 3:16&17, 4:3, 6:10-18 Psalm 119:165 Proverbs 3:5&6 Mark 9:23 I Peter 1:8&9, 5:8-10 2 Peter 1:19-21 I John 5:4 I Corinthians 16:13 Hebrews 4:12, 12:2 I Timothy 6:12 2 Timothy 2:15, 3:16&17 Isaiah 52:7, 54:17 Hebrews 2:1-3
6/23/2023
Are You Under AttackSatan knows when the best time is to attack. Each of us have our triggers. Maybe it’s loneliness, or something deep within that no one else knows about. For some, it might be the work place, for others it might be family. For me, it’s the dark of night.
Sharing this is something that I wrestled with. I haven’t wanted to. Maybe one day I will tell the whole story, but for today I will just share a part… During the day time hours it’s easy for me to feel like “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. It might not always be easy to fight battles, but my heart and my mind know what the truth is. I can think logically. I can get in God’s word. I can pray, quote scripture and listen to worship music. But in the middle of the night, when my brain is in a fog and I’m half asleep~that’s when satan strikes. Often. I get up 2-3 times a night. Old age and 4 kids. Always, I stumble into the bathroom. The entire world is dark and quiet, and even though I am half asleep~ thoughts immediately spring up into my head out of nowhere. My defenses are down and I am not prepared for the battle. And it’s a big one. A battle of doubt that wages against everything I’ve ever believed. And it’s scary. And it’s very hard to admit. Today I want to mention some things that have helped me through this. Maybe you don’t have the same issues that I do, but maybe you’re fighting different battles and you feel helpless and alone. Maybe scared. I pray these things can help and encourage you to fight with your everything, and to remember that God is always, always for you. There are no weapons that are stronger than He is, because our weapons aren’t carnal. They’re spiritual and they will pull down the strongholds that battle against us. He will always fight for us. For me, the time of the attacks is what makes them hard. 2-3 times, night after night. Let’s be real here, in my sleepy state I am not going to do a Bible study on the toilet in the dark. I’m not going to blast worship music and wake up my husband. Quite often I just want to go back to sleep, and I’m not thinking logically. So, what’s a person to do in that situation? Be prepared ahead of time. Here are some things that can help you with your battle, especially when the attack hits you out of nowhere. 1. Remember. It doesn’t matter what the situation is or where you are, you can remember the goodness of God on your life. In the past, in the present and in the future. If Jesus is your Savior, you will one day be in glory with Him. That alone can help sustain us. So when that attack happens, and it will happen, start thanking and praising Jesus for EVERYTHING. Every single thing that comes into your heart and mind. Remember our God of the Bible. He is your God too. Remember His faithfulness. Recall it. Say it out loud. Remember. 2. Read. Stay in God’s word and hide it in your heart. When an attack happens, you don’t have the luxury to say to Satan- “Can you hold on a minute while I get out my Bible and look up some verses?” Know God’s truths. Memorize them and use them to fight against the lies. An amazing chapter to meditate on is Psalm 119. I listen to it on my bible app every single day as I’m putting on my makeup and preparing for the day. Over and over let His words saturate your heart and soul. 3. Refrain. Stay away from things that can mess with your head, ie television shows, music and social media. For me, the things that my eyes (and heart) take in right before going to bed at night can have a huge impact on how my night goes. We don’t realize how much these things can affect us negatively. Every single day we soak it all in~ sadly, even more than we soak in God’s words to us. This is a huge deterrent to our spiritual warfare. The Holy Spirit will show you the things you need to steer clear of, you just need to listen. 4. Rely and Pray. In my situation there were times this was a tough one, because doubt was my battle field. In those moments all I could do was say the name of Jesus. And that is enough. There is power in His name. Did the doubts magically go away at 2am? No. 4am rolls around and BAM!, I’m hit again. But I will keep saying His name over and over. Why? Because of my first two points. He has always been faithful to me and I know He’s not going to stop now. His word is His promise. God helped me in ways I could never imagine. My heart was saying “Lord I believe, help my unbelief.” And He did just that. In amazing ways that bring tears to my eyes. And every night, I remember. Be prepared for the battle. Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks. Prove all things. Hold fast that which is good. Faithful is he that calls you, who also will do it. He will be your Warrior. He will be your Comfort. He will be your Peace. Remember. Read. Refrain. Rely. The battle is already won. SCRIPTURE READING: 1 Thessalonians 5:5-6, 8, 10-11, 16-18, 21-24 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 Psalm 71:18, 77:6, 78:4, 101:3, 102:18, 119, 143:5 Daniel 2:22 I John 5:14-15 Colossians 3:2 Ephesians 6:10-18 Romans 12:2-3 Philippians 2:9-11, 4:13 Mark 9:23-24 John 1:1-5,9, 8:12, 14:18, 26 Hebrews 13:5 Deuteronomy 1:30, 20:4 I Timothy 1:5-14, 6:12 2 Peter 1:12
6/2/2023
What Story Will Your Pain Tell?This wasn’t the plan.
In an instant, life changed and I desperately wished I could hit the rewind button. But I couldn’t. This moment had the power to rewrite the rest of my story, and I could not see a happy ending. I suddenly felt like I was in a dream. Day by day, trying to survive but living in a fog. Walking in darkness. Alone. This would be my life, because I could not go back and change the events that happened. And I cried for the memory of what I thought my life would look like. Have you ever been here? In this moment? Perhaps you are right now. As my husband was typing his Bible study the other day, I couldn’t help but think about this. He finished his first page and in his tired state, he hit “no” when prompted to save his work. We aren’t tech savvy. This has happened to me before and I knew there was a solution, I just had to find it. I warned my husband not to touch any keys but he was somehow sure he could figure it out. And he kept trying. By the time I googled the answer, it was too late. His study was gone. How many times in my life has this happened to me? What I thought my life would look like, disappearing within seconds. And my heart left broken like an empty page staring back at me, the cursor hovering over nothingness. What do I do now? How often I have tried to figure it out in my own strength. Trying, trying but failing. Sadly, there have been moments that turned into years upon years of me trying and missing all God had for me. Crying way too often, because this wasn’t supposed to be my life. What do you do when the unexpected happens? When your life is turned upside down in a moment and you weren’t prepared for it at all. When the shocking trauma blindsides you, and there’s nothing you can do to change it? When this is your new normal and you are left with a blank piece of paper representing the rest of your life? I am here to tell you that I did all the wrong things. For years. I kept writing on that paper and erasing it and trying again. Over and over. Until the day I finally gave God the pen. Ladies, I know it’s not easy because I’ve been there. Trauma leaves scars. It’s hard. So very hard. But God is our God of the impossible. And my life felt like a happy ending was definitely impossible. So today, I want to encourage you with a few things I learned through it all. It’s okay to have all the emotions, but don’t camp out there. Bring them ALL to God. Too often we cry about how it isn’t fair. How we don’t deserve this pain or how we do deserve to feel all the negative that our hearts are experiencing. We sit there in that muck and tell ourselves that we have every right to be angry or sad, scared and hurt or even depressed. And then we’re stuck. Exactly where Satan wants us. And we don’t even realize that we are hurting ourselves day after day with these emotions we are justifying. We begin to write our own story on that blank piece of paper, but this is not the story God wants your pain to tell. These aren’t God’s words, they aren’t even our words and in those moments we don’t even recognize that they are Satan’s. His lies. We have handed him the pen. It would be so easy for me to just say Trust God. He’s in control. The end. But when the hard really hits you, you don’t know what trusting God looks like because you are human and you’re hurting. And it’s in those moments that we need God to remind us. He understands our emotions better than we do. Not only because He created them, but He also experienced them Himself. There will be days that you are angry and don’t want to read His words. There will be days when you’re hurting so badly that you can’t even whisper a prayer, and there will be good days when God is your lifeline and you know deep down that He’s got this. You know you can trust Him. So what does trusting God look like? It is all of us in our feebleness understanding that God truly is in control and we are not. We were never alone in the darkness. He was always with us and He always will be. It’s looking back at all His goodness and looking ahead to the goodness to come. He knew what was going to happen. He knew all the hurt and anger, fear and sadness you would feel. He knew and because He allowed it, we have His promise that it’s for our good and for His glory. Instead of asking why, ask God to open your eyes to the truth of that goodness. And in the mean time, I highly encourage you to write down every single emotion you are feeling. Those emotions could change daily, and daily you will need God’s perspective. Once you’ve written them down, do a word study of each one in scripture. Google works great for this, so does an old fashioned Bible commentary. Give God that pen and let Him fill that blank piece of paper. Ask Him to take each emotion you are feeling and wrap it in His promises. Once you have God’s words written down, read them to yourself over and over. God’s words are power. Let them shout over Satan’s lies. Each day is a new day toward a different narrative. You can choose to wallow in what happened and what could have been, or you can decide that you are going to live your best life. You can decide that Satan will not have the victory and that cursor hovering over all the nothingness will suddenly be moving across moments of time filled with promises of joy and new beginnings. I’m not going to lie, it will be hard but God knows the outcome. I can say with 100% certainty, it will be worth it because today I can finally look back and see God’s story and His goodness. When I chose to let go of every emotion and give them over to God, my happy ending wasn’t impossible because my God worked the impossible deep within me. His power changed everything. And He gets all the glory. What story will your pain tell? Hand Him your pen my friend. SCRIPTURE READING: Revelation 12:9 Hebrews 4:15, 11:1, 13:5 Romans 8:26, 28, 37-39 Proverbs 3:5-6 Psalm 23:4, 34:4, 73:26, 94:19, 139 Deuteronomy 3:18 Isaiah 55:8-9 Exodus 14:14 Nehemiah 8:10, Isaiah 41:10 Ephesians 3:20 Luke 1:37 Matthew 19:26 Philippians 3:13-14 Ecclesiastes 3:11
4/28/2023
DepressionDepression can sometimes feel like a dirty word to a believer.
A few weeks ago I got into my own head and once there, my thoughts spiraled downward. I have some physical problems that left me in a dark place. Nothing life threatening, but two unrelated, painful issues that will stay with me the rest of my life. And that really bothered me. Due to flare ups, I wasn’t physically able to do normal, day to day activities. I couldn’t leave the house for long periods of time or do easy household tasks. I couldn’t even do the things that I enjoy, like my sewing or simply playing with my grandkids. Slowly, day by day the darkness crept in. “Is this it, is this how it’s going to be from now on? What am I even good for? What if I’m never the same again?” I have this picture in my head of what I’m supposed to be as a Pastor’s wife, as a mom. I tend to over analyze my performance in these areas (which is a root of worry over what others think of me, and a sin I tend to battle) Satan knows this, and by the end of the week depression had made a home inside my head. I felt like a huge disappointment, worthless and unloved. All within 7 days. I had no other words and found myself just asking God to please help me over and over, not so much from the physical pain, but from where my thoughts had taken me. I stayed in His word, reminding myself of His goodness and blessings~ but even when we do these things, sometimes the “hard” is still very hard. By Sunday night the tears wouldn’t stop and decided I was going to stay in bed all day Monday because~what was the point of getting up anyway, right? But God didn’t leave me in bed. Even when I was 100% sure that my thoughts were real, He broke through and showed me a different picture. He always does. I have been here before. Times that lasted much longer than 7 days. Over and over again throughout my life, He has delivered me when I was sure there would be no deliverance. Did my pain and physical issues go away? No, but all that darkness in my head did. God used a simple text from someone going through their own darkness, a podcast that stumbled across my path, a song that could’ve been written for me… I listened to the words of someone else who had the same fears I did, who was saying exactly what I was feeling… “What if this was it? What if I’m never the same?” His words stayed with me and I asked myself, “Do you believe God is still good and that He loves you? Do you believe He knows exactly what’s going on and He is in control?” I believed and I whispered to God, “Help my unbelief.” What if my greatest calling now was simply to be my husband’s cheerleader from the sidelines? His prayer warrior and safe haven. That would be enough. Even if I could never leave the house for long periods of time, or pick up my grandchildren or pen a note of encouragement. Even if I couldn’t play the piano, sew or garden, run or simply hand my husband his dinner plate, I knew in that moment that God was still good. And that He loves me. And I suddenly felt freedom from all that blackness that had collected inside my head. It’s scary for me to even share this, to be vulnerable and honest. There is a stigma attached to Christian’s and depression. The thoughts can easily get to me again. Worry over appearing overly dramatic or attempting to seek attention. But I am clinging to that gift of freedom God has given me, because maybe it could help someone else who might be having dark thoughts of their own. God has not given up on you my friend. He is good. He loves you. He’s not going to let you stay in that bed of depression. He’s going to continuously use His words, His Spirit, people and things to pull you out from under the covers of despair. Because He understands. What a comfort and peace that brings! And then, the miraculous will happen. He will use you to help others. Your darkness and deliverance has purpose. He will use you to break through someone else’s darkness. He will use you to share His love. Your circumstances may never change, but there is freedom in releasing that to God, knowing He is good. Knowing He loves you. Knowing you can be used by Him. Suddenly you will no longer see the negative, but all the goodness wrapped up in the words~ YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.
4/20/2023
He Weeps With UsToday I am sharing a guest post written by my daughter in law Shannon on the topic of infertility. Our prayer is that it will help others who are going through this heartbreaking experience as well. Shannon gives us a beautiful look into her heart and pain, but also into the hope she has in Jesus.
He Weeps With Us By: Shannon Goforth April 23rd marks the beginning of National Infertility Awareness Week – a week I never thought would have any significance to me, let alone know it even existed. Infertility is a topic that is personal, vulnerable, and even intimidating to share, but it is something that I have been praying about for months. I feel like God has finally pressed on my heart to share my story. I never thought I would be that “one in eight.” You get married and dream of starting a family one day, but you never think it will be difficult. After struggling with infertility for almost five years, being told we have a 2% chance of having a child naturally isn’t what I imagined we’d hear. This devastating news was horrible and scary from the beginning. As we began to process and cope with our new reality, I began to read stories of other couples who had struggled in the same way. Hearing others’ miracle endings gave me hope. It made me feel less alone seeing how others could beautifully articulate the pain infertility brings. But what about still being in the middle of the waiting? Wondering if you’ll ever get your miracle at the end of your long journey… Infertility isn’t something many people talk about. The waiting is extremely difficult. It has been one of the loneliest, darkest valleys Michael and I have ever had to walk through together – and still are. Despite this being such a heartbreaking struggle to endure, it has also been an amazing season of refining in our marriage. God has used our infertility to strengthen our relationship in such a remarkable way. We’ve experienced an incredible closeness with each other that has been so beautiful. Michael has been an incredible comfort to me throughout this entire process, all while experiencing such deep pain of his own. I could not get through any of this without his constant encouragement. We’re in this together, and I love that. As we’ve slowly started sharing our story with others, I’ve been blown away with how many women have reached out to me and shared that they’ve silently struggled with infertility as well. This is ultimately why I’m sharing this uncomfortable topic: to help even one person know they’re not alone in their journey, as I thought I was for so long. Being able to open up and share your story, then having an army of people praying behind you in response is so worth it, but I know that doesn’t make it easy. I want to share some truths that have comforted me while walking through this difficult journey. I pray these reminders can be an encouragement to anyone who is in a valley reading this — something you can turn back to and reference in Scripture when you are in your darkest moments. There’s a well-known story in the Bible that comes from John 11. Mary and Martha are grieving over the death of their brother, Lazarus. Even though Jesus knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead, He still looked at the tears of those around Him and was so gripped by their pain that Jesus, the God of the Universe, wept. From this passage in Scripture, we learn that God doesn’t just see our tears, He weeps alongside of us. This has been an amazing reminder to me that Jesus is always near. He sees me when I’m questioning His goodness and asking how any good could come from this. In the darkest moments when the enemy tries to get in my head and convince me that God has forgotten about me, I can look back on all His faithfulness in my life and know that’s the farthest thing from the truth! He is near. He is weeping with us in our pain. Not only that, but Jesus understands our pain more than we ever will. While Jesus is fully God, He is also fully man. He felt the pain that sin brings. He went to the cross for us on our behalf and felt the agony of pain leading up to that dark day. In Luke 22 He says to the Father “If you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done.” This passage goes on to say that He was in such agony over the cross and prayed so earnestly that His sweat became drops of blood. Can you imagine that pain? When I’m tempted to feel as though Jesus doesn’t understand my deepest pain, I’m reminded of this incredible truth. Not only does He walk alongside me through this, but He weeps with me and knows the pain I’m enduring. I would never choose to endure this pain of infertility, but the intimacy I’ve felt with the Lord and this beautiful realization He’s taught me during our devastating season has made it worth it. Had I not chosen to lean into Him a year ago during some of my darkest moments, this isn’t something I ever would’ve been able to say. God is still writing our story. Even though I don’t know what the future holds, I know He has a better ending for us than we could ever imagine. If you are currently walking this painful road of infertility, just know I see you and you’re not alone. More importantly, God sees you and weeps alongside you. |
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