This was very hard for me to write. I prayed and read and dug deep into scripture. Then I prayed and prayed some more because no matter what I came up with, I couldn’t even convince myself~ so, how could I convince you?
I don’t need to tell you this but I’m going to anyway~
Comparison is the thief of Joy.
Deep down, you already know that.
Sadly, so do I.
There’s so much I could write on this subject. 54 years of comparison stealing away joy. I’m not necessarily talking about possessions here (that’s another topic for another post). I’m talking about genetic personality traits that we are unhappy with. Our DNA. Ways we wish we were physically different than how God created us.
It all started one night when I was washing my face.
I was slathering wrinkle cream all over my neck and wondering why I waited until my 50’s to start doing this. I wished my mom had warned me, so I picked up my phone and jokingly sent a text to my daughters~
“Mom tip #54- start putting wrinkle cream on your neck right now, not just on your face”
My daughter Kathryn responded ~”thanks mom, but I’d like to know the other 53 tips too 😂😂😂”
I laughed at her response, but it sort of stuck with me. I’m 54. What tips could I leave with my daughters that could help them? Tips that might change their lives?
So, I started thinking about putting together a list of mom advice. 54 tips to help my kids. Add one each year.
But here’s what I kept thinking about~
All the mistakes I made and regrets I had. The very things I didn’t want my own daughters to experience.
One major regret was comparison. Why have I wasted 54 years wishing I could be like someone else? I can remember being this way since grade school. Wishing I wasn’t such a “girly” girl. Wishing I was stronger, more athletic, wishing I was more outgoing, wishing for a different body, hair, face. Thinking I wasn’t cool enough. Wishing I wasn’t so shy. Wishing I was more confident. Wishing I was like someone else.
Wishing I was like her...
So girls, here you go. Here are some things God has shown me this week, tips that have helped me to work on viewing myself through God’s lens instead of my own.
⁃ This will always be my #1 tip in every situation, no matter what~ ASK GOD FOR HELP.
⁃ Get in God’s word. Comparison has been around since the beginning of time. The story unfolds with Satan tempting Eve by comparing her to God, her son comparing himself to his brother, Rachel and Leah, Saul with David, Gideon, Moses and the list goes on. We can learn so much from reading their accounts. Some went through tremendous heartache because of comparison, but many were great men and women of God in the Bible. They felt lacking. They didn’t feel good enough or qualified enough to do the job, yet God always used them in mighty ways. He showed many of them that their comparison issues weren’t an issue at all, because it was never about them. It was, and always will be all about God.
He used them to fulfill the gospel.
This was such a comfort to me.
II Corinthians 10:12, Exodus 4:11
⁃ See myself as God sees me and be thankful. I don’t want to live the remainder of the time I have left comparing myself to other women and putting down God’s creation. God thought about every tiny detail of me and of you, and then He said~this is what I want her to be like. This is how I want her to look and this is the personality I want her to have. She will be mine, she will be marvelous and wonderful. She will be precious to me. Isaiah 64:8, Luke 12:7, Psalm 139:1-16 (read it, it’s true!!)
⁃ Every day write down one thing about yourself that makes you happy. Jot down those scriptures from Psalm 139. Stick them everywhere as a reminder of God’s love for you. Shove them in your purse. The next time you’re standing in line at Target and you see that super friendly, outgoing, beautiful lady in front of you and you start to compare and forget~you can reach for your wallet and pull out that card instead. Then smile, because God reminded you how beautiful you are to Him. I know as Christians we can view this as being prideful~but done in the right spirit, it is a heart of thankfulness to God. At times we can be critical regarding the fine line between pride and thankfulness. You know, the whole Pharisee/Sadducee argument (and let me just add, if you’re talking to others about how humble you are, that’s probably your pride finding it’s voice, but if you’re talking to God about how thankful you are, that’s your heart glorifying God). Everything about you is a gift from God. A gift you should be thankful for. If you think about it, when we dwell on the things we dislike about ourselves we are telling God that He made a mistake because we are viewing our opinions higher than His. We are telling God~I don’t believe what Your word says about me. I don’t believe You. But, if we view the things about ourselves that we are happy with and we thank God for them, we are actually glorifying Him through that thanksgiving. I Thessalonians 5:18, Philippians 4:11
⁃ Realize your mind is your enemy, she is not. She probably has issues deep down inside just like you do. Learn to renew your mind daily by feeding it with Gods word. (Which goes back to tip #2) Romans 12:2. If we don’t love ourselves exactly the way God made us, how can we possibly love others like Christ does? Like we’re supposed to? Resentment, jealousy and comparison will continually steal our joy. Matthew 22:39. Tell the “her” in your life how awesome she is. Tell her how much you appreciate her attributes. Stop that lady in front of you in line and let her know how beautiful she looks today. This is another way you can not only glorify God, but lift up another sister who might be going through a hard time just like you. You will be amazed at how much this will not only bless her, but bless you as well.
Ephesians 2:10, Isaiah 52:7
⁃ Realize social media, television and other people’s opinions are not what defines you. God is Who defines you. When God looks at us He sees His image. He sees the blood of His Son and the redemption it brings. He gives glorious liberty to help us get past that comparison. He sees a precious soul He loves. He knows everything about you. He knows every thought you have and He understands. He knows every word you will speak. He’s aware of every single one of your ways. And He loves you. Not the you that you wish you could be, the you that is reading this right now. Psalm 139:1-4, Genesis 1:27, Ecc 3:11, Psalm 90:17, Romans 8:21, 27, 29
Obviously I’m not talking about things that God has given us the ability to work on and change ie~
“well God made me a liar, so I’m going to perfect it and be thankful for that attribute.” Or “God made me lazy, so I’ll just lay here rejoicing in that.” “God created me to love junk food so I don’t have to listen to my doctor’s warnings about my health.” Etc.
I’m talking about comparison in areas that God intricately designed us to be.
Our ultimate goal~Be holy as God is holy. Not~ be like Sandy or Becky, Amy or Julie.
Just Jesus. Period.
You know what all those comparison wishes are? They’re whispers from Satan. They hit you when you least expect it and can change your entire day. You lose all joy and end up feeling defeated instead of praising God for the person He created you to be. The person you are.
You are a living gospel message.
You are you.
Fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image.
Do you know what the word fearfully means in Psalm 139?
It means~ “in a manner to impress admiration”. 🥰
You are you. A child of the most high God. His perfect blueprint.
Marvelous and precious.
Don’t ever forget that, it will change your life.