His eyes were huge and scared.
Pools of blue.
Tears almost spilling over, yet trying to be brave.
Who was this little man I was raising?Who would he become?
As he walked to school his very first day, he continued to look back at me until he was no longer in sight.
And then he was gone.
Each year passed.
He brought me flowers he picked on his way home from grade school.
He made me cards and wrote inside that he would never marry, or leave home.
He brushed my hair and bought me trinkets.
He wore his heart on his sleeve.
He wrote sermons, and told me he would one day be a preacher.
Who was this little man I was raising, and who would he become?
He would become someone’s husband. Someone’s father. Someone’s preacher.
And then he would be gone.
He would grow into a man with no need to look back at his mama~
and her blue eyes would spill over. Trying to be brave, yet praising her Father for the man he had become.
For the husband he was.
For the love of his Savior as he preached.
For the father she knew he would be.
Who is that little man you are raising?Who is that child you hold close?
They will one day be
someone’s husband, someone’s wife. Someone’s father. Someone’s mother.
You are teaching them that even now.
What a heavy, glorious responsibility it is. One we need to remember daily. One we need to bring to our Savior minute by minute, hour by hour.
One we must never forget~
Before they are gone.
DON’T TRY TO FIT JESUS INTO A BOX
I guess it’s a little obvious that I love to write.
When Mike and I first started dating, I was constantly writing him letters and poems~ not so much now. The years have shown me that he’s definitely not a sappy “Hallmark card” kinda guy. But back then~ he would always respond with a love letter in return.
We would talk about everything in our letters. His words expressed so much and our relationship matured because we got to know each other on a deeper level.
Letter writing is a lost art.
(But that’s a subject for another day😉)
I can’t even imagine how I would have felt on our wedding day if he confessed that he never actually wrote a single letter to me, but instead had someone else put their thoughts and feelings into script.
I’m sure I would question if he really loved me and how well I truly knew him.
Today you can google just about any topic and find a devotional that goes along with it. There are thousands. Blogs and Facebook pages, books and plans.
There’s a huge market for it, because people are searching.
They want someone to tell them in 500 words or less how to get the most out of this life as a Christian.
We want help in our marriages and with our children. We want to learn how to trust God more. We want someone to show us the correct way to go through heart ache, to be hospitable, to worship and to pray.
We want our lives to feel good.
We search for joy in our answers. We want a quick fix.
But we don’t search for the answers ourselves.
Why should we search when someone else can do that for us? Why should we beg to truly know God when someone else can tell us exactly how that’s done?
So we get up early. We drink our coffee. We read a few verses and the devotion that correlates with it and we say~ “wow, that was exactly what I needed today”~
and that’s where it gets sad my friend.
Our worship has turned into worshipping ourselves and what we need to make ourselves feel better~
and not about truly finding and knowing Jesus.
Sadly, as I look at my own heart, there have been times that I could not say~
“If all I had was Jesus~ He would be enough.”
I want that joy. I want good things for my marriage and my children. I want my problems to go away. I want my life to be easy and happy.
What I fail to realize is that if I truly sought Jesus above all else, instead of praying for these other things with the wrong intentions~
I would understand that in Him alone~
I do have everything.
Too often, my prayers do not reflect my love for Him. I can claim that they do, but if I am being honest~they reflect my love for myself.
Jesus wants to answer our prayers. He wants us to have joy and happiness because He loves us, but He isn’t just a meal ticket, above all else~
He wants us to truly know Him.
He is, and always should be our end goal.
Don’t try to fit Jesus into a little devotional box that you check off for the day.
Put down your phone or tablet, that devotional plan or inspiring book, and pick up His personal words to you.
Allow HIS words to show you who He really is. Ask HIM to show you the answers. Let HIS beauty shine upon your life. Let HIS words alone open your eyes to the awe of Jesus~
the wonder, the power, the fear, the love, the mercy, the forgiveness, the peace~
that HE alone encompasses.
I do believe God uses authors in a great way and for His glory. There will always be writers telling us how we ought to live. (Ironically, this is something I am doing even now)
There is nothing new under the sun.
But God’s words, His mercies~
They are new every morning.
Don’t let someone else write your love story and be content with that. Write your own love story with Jesus by reading His love story to you. Your relationship with Him will mature and you will get to know Him on a deeper level. The more you read, the more you get to know Him, the more you will know how to respond to Him and how very much He loves you.
No one else can take His place. No one else can take your place.
God’s words are so much more than a Hallmark card or inspiring devotional.
They are LIFE.
How well do you truly know Him?
Philippians 3:10, Psalms 119:125
Exodus 33:13, Philippians 3:8
Proverbs 4:20-22, Ecclesiastes 1:9
I got lost in all the beautiful images.
My sweet grandchildren.
Their precious little eyes were dancing with joy in every picture.
Full of love for mama and daddy.
This day, this time, this age, it will never come again. It is a fleeting moment and then it’s gone, and the eyes that once were dancing, won’t dance anymore.
Yet, we do not realize.
We take today for granted. We get lost in our own lives and goals, wants and dreams.
Today is just a page of our story. A page that we turn day after day, without really thinking about it. It is routine.
Until it’s not.
And then, one day those innocent, happy, dancing eyes are filled with irritation, embarrassment or even disdain.
It is too late~
and we realize the moment is gone.
We want to go back and read the previous chapters. We want to linger longer. We want to meditate on it,
but we cannot.
That moment will never come again. It was lost in our work, in our hobbies, in our time spent on social media, in the worry over keeping a clean home, in the changing diapers and sleepless nights, in the laundry and dishes.
That moment was lost in ourselves and the desire for time alone and “when will this ever end” moments.
And that’s when you realize those dancing, innocent eyes don’t look at you the same.
Perhaps one day, when this stage is past, they will.
But now those eyes are dancing for their friends, their crush, their desire to get away, to be their own person~
to grow up~
but they aren’t dancing for you.
Stop what you are doing and lose yourself in those innocent, dancing little eyes. Soak every tiny moment up.
Don’t get lost in you~
get lost in them.
Today isn’t routine because today will never come again.
One day those eyes will search for you once more. They will become the eyes of your best friend. They will look to you for answers and help, for guidance and love, for relief and prayer. They will be filled with remembrance and respect,
Because those eyes will be looking into the tiny dancing eyes of another.
I ONCE WAS BLIND
We were away from it all.
No traffic, no street lights~
Only the moon and stars.
Four little grandkids asleep for the night.
We turn off the lights.
Complete darkness surrounds me in this remote place.
My eyes can not adjust~
the eyes that just witnessed their beautiful faces~
Before the darkness came.
My heart cannot imagine living in darkness like this as a constant.
Never seeing that beauty again.
Or perhaps being born in darkness~
Never knowing the beauty of God’s creation all around me. Even now as I write I can picture it, because my eyes have seen it.
The majesty of mountains and trees, rainbows and sunsets. The glory of oceans and sand, fields and flowers. The brilliance and beauty of the sun’s beams shouting out behind ominous thunderclouds.
I cannot imagine never knowing color.
Not even understanding what the word color means.
Breathtaking hues of
falling leaves that paint the world, pure whiteness dropping delicately from heaven,
bright pinks and yellows, greens and purples that burst forth from the cold barren earth in spring,
the crystal blue of oceans that meet and melt into the sky.
Colors of God’s creation everywhere, except to the eyes that see only darkness. Except to the heart that has never known that beauty and therefore, cannot even imagine it.
It is too hard for my mind to even comprehend.
My heart becomes eternally grateful to God for the beauty He has allowed me to witness my entire life and sober at the thought of the awful reality some live with in such darkness.
It moves me to tears as I think that once my heart was like that darkness~
That blindness? That was my sin, your sin, and it was far worse than the dreadful reality of living in blackness and never knowing beauty. Far worse~
My heart and eyes were opened to the beauty of His gift, His life. For Me. And that beauty shines upon my life daily~
Because of Jesus.
As beautiful as God’s creation is to me, Jesus is far more beautiful. He is color to my fallen world, He is pure whiteness covering my darkness. He is new beginnings to a heart that was barren. He is incredible joy and brilliant beauty shouting forth through the ominous thunderclouds of life.
Because of Jesus.
My blindness is gone~
He is my light.
“And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.”
“Give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name; worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.”
“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”
1 Corinthians 2:9
“For thou wilt light my candle: the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.”
“The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up.”
“Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”
“But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:”
1 Peter 2:9
“The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined.”