As I post this, we are traveling home from our family vacation. We had been so excited for this vacation together, counting down the days until we finally arrived. My kids, spouses and grandchildren all staying together in a beautiful house right on the ocean.


Three days after our arrival, the entire family came down with the worst stomach flu I’ve ever encountered. Mike and I, and my daughter in law Shannon were the only ones who avoided the “plague”. Parents were too sick to take care of sick kids. This mama was desperate for healing for my family.


And then, the day we thought the worst was over and everyone might actually sleep through the night, we were awakened at 4am by startling alarms on all our phones. A tornado warning. Winds were shaking the house and lightning was flashing across the ocean, lighting up the entire sky.


And in the midst of that storm, not wanting to disturb incredibly sick kids, my husband stood out on the balcony watching for imminent danger so that he could protect his family.


Knowing he was out there watching somehow made me feel safer inside.


Many of our adult children were awake and asking what we should do. Could my husband prevent a tornado from hitting us? Absolutely not. But he could calm the storms inside our anxious hearts by watching the ocean for the danger that might be coming.


My husband has a way of doing that. There’s a strength about him. He’s the one you can always count on. Always.


This seemed to be the perfect illustration of the strength that God gives us during the storms in our life. The protection that only He can give. The comfort and peace among the raging winds that beat us down and the calming faith against potential danger. Oh, how true all of this is. Grab on to that truth.


But there’s another bit of biblical advice that I want you to grab a hold of today.


Find a man who gives you strength. Pray for a man who makes you feel protected. Someone who doesn’t run from danger or difficult situations, but protects you from them. A man’s man.


Sadly that’s something that’s almost unheard of in todays society. Is it even politically correct to say that nowadays? A man’s man? Not a man who embraces his femininity over his responsibility, (although there’s nothing wrong with your man having a tender side, and shedding tears over things that move him) but a man who embodies what scripture tells us to look for in a good husband.


A man who loves you like Christ loves the church and gave Himself for it.


The world is constantly shouting at women that we don’t need a man, that we can do anything that men can do. Well, I’m over here waving my arms and shouting back! I do need my man and I’m not ashamed to admit that.


My husband isn’t perfect. He doesn’t excel when it comes to romance or empathy. We’ve gone through some very hard storms that I wasn’t sure we’d get through. Through those storms I have found comfort in the fact that he is continually going to the One Who is his ultimate example and asking Him for help in loving me better. He continually tries to be a better man. And in doing that, I feel safer. I feel protected and I desire to pray for him even more.


Let me tell you ladies, if you are single, that’s the kind of man you should pray for; and if you’re married but your marriage is struggling, that’s also the kind of man you should pray for. There is power in the prayers of a wife. Don’t ever stop praying. Don’t ever give up. Remember last weeks post? Nothing is impossible with God. He can change any situation for your good and His glory.


And if you have a man like mine~ a real man’s man~ grab him and kiss him and thank him right now. Praise God that he has given you such a treasure. A man who stands against raging storms in order to protect you. A man who will love you and give himself for you, just like Christ.






SCRIPTURE READING:
Philippians 3:12
Ephesians 5:25
Luke 1:37
Matthew 19:26
James 5:16-18

There are certain things I’ve been struggling with lately. I am ashamed to admit that my perception of people has been a big one. Just this morning I realized how completely messed up my perception is.


I can “preach” on this platform about how “God can change your life” and how “you don’t have to remain the same once you know Christ, because His power lives in you”, and yet…


This morning I had a conversation with myself that sort of went like this~ ‘What are you supposed to do Charisse? Past circumstances have led you here. Trauma that sucked the life out of you and left you weak. You can’t help it that you feel this way. The situation is hopeless. It is what it is. Just accept it and live with it.’


Immediately I was convicted. Nothing is hopeless with God. No past circumstances or feelings I might have are stronger than the power of God in me. He can change anything and anyone. And here’s the shocker~ the change starts with me, not with the person I am perceiving to be in the wrong.


If I build up walls and raise the white flag of defeat on relationships in my life, I do not know the love of Christ at all, because He did the opposite. He loved the very unlovable. And despite past circumstances in His life~ He continues to love the unlovable…
and I am at the top of that list.


Do you know why I felt that immediate conviction this morning? Because Jesus lives in me. The Holy Spirit lives in me. God’s love lives in me. And because of all of this…


Change lives in me. I thought darkness had a permanent dwelling in my heart, and the perceptions I had were truly hopeless situations. But I was wrong. The past is the past. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.


The same power that raised Jesus from the grave is THE POWER that lives in me. And today that light has permeated the darkest recesses of my heart, because I know that
Every day is a new day with
Jesus and…


Nothing, absolutely nothing is impossible with God.




SCRIPTURE READING:
Psalm 51:6, 55:18
Proverbs 19:21, 21:2
Malachi 3:6
Hebrews 13:8
Luke 1:37
Matthew 19:26

When I was in the 4th grade, my parents bought an old farmhouse that sat on 12 acres of property, property that was surrounded by endless horizons of beautiful land. We affectionately called it “The Farm”, and I loved it. When I recall that time, my heart feels free. My imagination could soar there. I could run in all the beautiful openness of the unknown, and feel as if I was flying.


But then, my parents split up. My world was turned upside down. That freedom was quickly taken away and replaced with the chaos of things that I could not control.


Praise the Lord that He continually pursues us. Through all that heartache and pain, we came to know Him.


My parents got back together and purchased a new home, away from the painful memories of the past. This home was so very different. It was a cookie cutter house located only a few feet away from all the other houses that looked exactly like it~ in the middle of a subdivision full of similar houses. House upon house. No freedom. No flying.


But for some reason, my heart took comfort in the familiarity of it all. All the past chaos was outside that perfect little suburb. I was safe in this new, controlled setting. And my journey of familiarity and control began.


At that time in my life, my flesh associated the comfort of my parents being reunited with my controlled situation, when all along it was Jesus. Jesus is what changed our lives. Not the cookie cutter house, in the cookie cutter subdivision.


I have found that almost 50 years later, I still look for comfort in familiarity, in everything being predictable. In control. In planning. In a cookie cutter life.


It occurred to me today that a large part of that process has to do with fear. If I write it down and accomplish it, if I plan, if I have control, I don’t have to fear. Life will be predictable, and I find comfort in predictability.
But not in God.


But then when life hits me with a curve ball, suddenly all my comfort is whisked away and I’m afraid. I’m afraid of the future and what that looks like for my marriage, for my kids, for my church, for my blog. I’m afraid of the opinions of others. I’m afraid I won’t accomplish what needs to be done. I’m afraid of pain and heartache. I’m afraid of the unknown.


Circumstances can hold us hostage to the fear of the unknown.


My anxiety over that unknown can become so strong that my control seems lost. Inside that anxiety I am paralyzed. I don’t long to be placed in my cookie cutter house in a subdivision. I long to run away and fly. I long to just be free…
and it’s there in that moment that God teaches me again and again that freedom and comfort only come from God. Not from all my control.


Slowly, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I learn to put my trust in Him. Sometimes daily, sometimes minute by minute. It’s something that only He can provide. A comfort that only comes in trusting Him, and not in my own control.


And suddenly in that trusting, when life throws me another curve ball~ the unimaginable happens. I have peace. I am free from the bondage of my fear of the unknown because I know that HE knows. And everything God allows in my life is for my good.


You can have freedom from whatever might have happened in your past that makes you want to hide within the cookie cutter walls of your control. You can have freedom from the fear of the unknown. When life throws you a curve ball, you have one of two choices. Remain paralyzed with fear and anxiety; or catch it and throw it back. Throw it back towards endless horizons of beauty, and watch it fly. Feeling the freedom of complete trust, having no idea where it will land but knowing that God will catch it. His goodness is written all over it.


Today and tomorrow and every day ahead, I want to watch it fly.






SCRIPTURE READING:
Psalm 11:1, 27:5, 51:12,
55:5-8&18 , 61:1-4,
90:9-10, 12, 14, 17, 139:9-10
Proverbs 14:12-13
Isaiah 40:28-31
Acts 2:25-28
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
I Peter 5:7

I could hear her little voice as they entered the bathroom, and I chuckled to myself. “It’s messy in here mommy!” She continued to babble about her little brother, the stall, the toilet paper, and the changing table. As I washed my hands I think I heard the words “don’t touch that” a dozen times.


I remember those days, but not with disdain. With longing. In that moment in the Meijer bathroom, my heart had an incredibly deep, unexplainable yearning for one more moment like that. One more moment just to hear my daughter’s childhood voice talking to me about everything her little mind could think of.


I don’t know why there are times that that longing grabs a hold of my heart so fiercely. Some days I miss it all so much. The giggles upstairs and the reprimands to “go to sleep!!” The toys all over the house. The forts built under the piano. The laundry EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. The constant “I’m hungry”. All the talks. The fun conversations, but also the hard ones. The “talks” about changing bodies and crushes and heart breaks. Talks about mean kids at school, but the reassurance of the forever love of mom and dad. And Jesus. A deep love from Jesus that is not fickle like the friendships of adolescents.


Yes, some days I yearn for it all. I yearn to hear my little girl babbling in the bathroom as I try to change her sister’s diaper. Maybe it’s the remembrance of unconditional love looking up at me through the wide eyes of naive innocence. Mommy could fix everything and do no wrong. Or, maybe it’s because at times~as hard as motherhood seemed to me back then~I can now look back and realize that in those moments, life for my children was so much easier. I long to fix everything for my adult children just by saying the words “I love you” and with a simple smile and a hug, watch their life become beautiful again.


When our children were little they could bounce back and in a moment, life goes back to being care free. But the older our children get and the more time that passes, the more mom realizes that at times life can be very cruel for the ones we love more than anything in this world.
And that’s when the hard truly hits.


So today I remind myself of the talks. The talks about the love of mom and dad, but more importantly of Jesus.


Today I want to remind my adult children of that love. The incredible, deep love I have for them, but more than anything~Jesus. A friend Who sticks closer than a brother, even closer than mom and dad. Jesus, Who literally loves with His everything. Jesus, Whose heart yearns for carefree moments for my children even more than my own heart yearns for it. That’s a fierce yearning. That’s a love deeper than I can imagine.


As much as I long to hear that babbling again, Jesus wants to hear it from our children too. He wants to hear ALL the babbling. He wants to hear our children talk to Him about every single thing their minds can think of.


And He wants to hear it from me as well. He wants me to tell Him all about it. So today, I did. Today I babbled on and on with Jesus. I told Him all about it. I cried. I laughed. I asked silly questions.


And in that moment, just like a child who feels deeply loved~
Life became carefree again.










SCRIPTURE READING:
Psalm 37:25, 42:4-5&11, 51:12, 62:8, 142:1-2,
Isaiah 49:15, 66:13
Philippians 4:6-8
John 8:36
Galatians 5:1

My daughter Andrea has always loved fairytales. She was in the 9th grade when the words “Once Upon A Time” began her own fairytale journey.


I watched her the other night. I had come to babysit. It was a rare and beautiful moment. The sun was shining, so she said she wanted to take advantage of the sunshine and walk to church. I stood in the doorway of the very home she used to dream about owning one day. She’s 34 years old, but somehow I thought I could protect her if I just made sure she made it to church ok. Our home and church are visible from her front door. The home she grew up in.


And then I watched her husband. He was giving instructions to the boys and running a bit behind, so he decided to take the car. He slowly drove up to her as she walked. I could see her laughing. Her hand rested on his open window as his car crept along side her the rest of the way.


In that moment my mind was transported back 20 years to that 9th grade girl and her crush, as she walked home from school and he pulled up along side her in his royal blue Ford Escort ZX2. He had cut off the tail pipe to replace it with a “cooler” tip, and the car had a sticker on it that said “Xtreme Racing”. To top it off, he installed blue lights, lights that caused our local police to pull him over (on more than one occasion).


Many rules were enforced during her high school years. To be honest, I was scared. I had all these dreams for her future, and I knew how quickly one bad decision could change the course of her entire life. I was scared because I didn’t put enough faith in the power of the Holy Spirit. In the power of Jesus and prayer. In the sovereignty and providence of God.


That 9th grade crush became her Knight in shining armor. A man I am so proud of. God has worked miracles in his life. A life once headed in the wrong direction. A heart changed by the gift of Jesus’ death on the cross and His complete grace, forgiveness and transformation.


Mamas, this mama never prayed so hard. But my daughter’s fairy tale wasn’t a result of me, it was a result of Jesus.


Too often parents try to control every aspect of their child’s life~ “Stay close to home when you go to college. Don’t move too far away. Marry a man that will keep you financially secure, or a women that doesn’t pose a threat to mama.”~ Don’t get me wrong, parents should have a say in every area of their child’s life, and in turn their children should honor and respect them. What I am trying to say is, yes we as parents have a tremendous responsibility and influence on our children, but we are not God. We are not the Holy Spirit, and there will come a time that we need to hand those children over to God and trust that He knows what is best for them.


Mike Francavilla was best for my Andrea. Joey was best for my Jessica, Shannon was best for my Michael and Josh was best for my Kat. And the older I get, and the more I observe, and the more I relinquish my desire to control their futures and hand that over to God, the more I see fairytales unfold in their lives. Fairytales that only God could write. Fairytales with God’s “Happily Ever After” written all over them.


I realize this isn’t always the case~
When it seems like unwise decisions have been made and our children’s path appears to be going in the wrong direction, remember that God never gives up on His kids, or ours.


I know you might be scared mama, but I also know that no matter what situation your child is in, God can rewrite their story. As a mother I will always have a strong desire to protect my babies, but the more time that passes, the more I realize that the best way I can protect them is to give them to God. Every single day. Continually encourage them in His word. Love them with my everything and never, ever stop praying for them…


I closed the front door and smiled down at her youngest as he gazed up at me. Tears of joy filled my eyes. I could write a book about her fairytale life and the hand of God upon it. As much as she realizes this now, one day she will realize it so much more as she watches God pen the words to her own children’s fairytales.


Today I will savor this chapter and pray for the chapters ahead. The generations and books yet to be written with God’s “Happily Ever After” written all over them.


“This is the LORD's doing; It is marvellous in our eyes.”
Psalm 118:23




SCRIPTURE READING:
Romans 8:27-28, 31-32
I Thessalonians 5:16-18
Philippians 1:6, 4:5-7
Proverbs 3:5-6
Matthew 19:26
Mark 10:27
Luke 18:27
James 5:16b
Hebrews 13:5b
I Corinthians 5:17
Ezekiel 36:26

I can remember getting my first biopsy. Watching the needle go in on the screen. Holding my breath. So many emotions wrapped up in such a small amount of time.


As I look back over my life, countless moments were held captive by two words. ”What if”. My todays were taken away by worry over my tomorrows. Always wondering what would be on the other side of this mountain of “what ifs”. Somehow believing every worst case scenario and sometimes living through them. Maybe hope was lost. And in that believing~denying Christ power by giving up and giving in. Not only allowing the devil to believe he had won, but believing that lie myself.


Recently I have pondered Christ sacrifice on the cross for me. I have thought about that dreadful day when all hope truly seemed lost. I have wondered about all the emotions his disciples were feeling~ so many emotions wrapped up in this moment. This wasn’t supposed to be the end. How could this be? Can you imagine their discouragement? All the incredibly powerful miracles they had witnessed and yet, it appeared death had won. Satan had won.


Pretty sure that’s exactly what the devil believed too.
But Jesus’ followers did not know what was coming.
Neither did the devil.


When it comes to scripture, at times I think we tend to take the outcome of mountain moving stories for granted. The faith isn’t spectacular to us because we know how the story ends. But when faced against our own mountains, the “what ifs” overwhelm us and we convince ourselves that we won’t be able to get over them to the other side.


Let me remind you today of your beautiful reality~Satan doesn’t know what’s on the other side of your mountain anymore than you do because unlike God, Satan is not omniscient. He is not all knowing. He doesn’t hold your future, God does.
There is so much power in that statement.


Take heart in the fact that the very men who LITERALLY walked with God on this earth~those handpicked and chosen by Christ~ went through discouragement as they faced a mountain they thought was unclimbable.


Even more comforting is the fact that Jesus~being all God yet all human~asked His Father if there was any way possible to avoid the overwhelming sorrow that was upon Him. He knew the deep love He had for His followers, and the heartbreaking emotions and confusion they would be faced with. He knew the mocking, the beating and the physical agony that was coming. He knew that He would be taking the sins of all mankind upon Himself. Jesus knew what was on the other side of that mountain He was facing, yet in that moment, He poured out His heart to God.


Jesus understands completely what you are going through. We might say we trust God. We might even believe we have mountain moving faith, but that doesn’t mean the trials we go through will be easy. Trials that can overwhelm us. “What ifs” that can loom heavy over our souls. Don’t focus on this idea that the devil knows the end of your story and that he has already won. Instead, focus on the fact that only God knows what’s on the other side.


On that side of the mountain is the irrefutable reality that the same Jesus Christ who defeated death and once again walked with His awestruck, astonished disciples upon this earth, is the same Jesus who is alive today~ daily making intercession on our behalf. He is the victor of every “what if” mountain we face. And that side of the mountain?


It’s always good. Always.
Because God told us so in His word.
There is no “what if” scenario that God doesn’t have an answer for. There is no “what if” scenario that God will not provide comfort for.
There is no “what if” scenario that God doesn’t give peace to face and weapons to fight.


There is no mountain you will ever climb alone.








SCRIPTURE READING:
Matthew 17:20, 26:37-39, 28
Isaiah 51:12, 52:7, 54:10, 55:12
Mark 11:23, 14:33-36, 16
Psalm 90:2
Luke 22:41-44, 24
Romans 8:34
I John 2:1
Hebrews 7:25
Revelation 1:5,18
I Corinthians 15:19-23, 56-57
Philippians 2:10-12, 4:7
2 Corinthians 1:3-4, 10:4
John 14:18

“I’ve never wanted to breathe for someone else so badly.”


Her words touched me deeply.
I don’t think I will ever forget them.


I’ve been sharing posts this week about little baby Amelia. These were the words her mama posted today. I have never physically met her and she may not know this, but she has been a tremendous blessing in my life.

When I first began my Facebook page, I stumbled across another~ Practical Living for the Christian Girl. I stepped out of my comfort zone and reached out to sweet Meghan, asking for help with my own page. Even though I felt like a complete idiot for not knowing simple things, she never made me feel that way. Instead, she loved on me and helped me and because of her selflessness, her time, and her love~ she has invested in the thousands that follow Holding Hope today.


She humbly allowed herself to be used of God.


And today her little girl is being used to bring thousands to the Throne of Grace.


My own heart has been pricked with conviction this week. How often we waste our thoughts and our words, even our time. We go about our every day moments and mundane activities and don’t even think about talking to God. Even when life may not necessarily “feel” good, it’s normal. We complain easily and forget to be thankful. Quite often we even forget to talk to our Savior throughout our days.


But then a tiny precious soul touches us all and as we do our “normal”, we cannot help but think of her and go to God for her. Suddenly our petty complaints about our normal lives seem selfish, because honestly~
they are.


Her sweet mama wrote~ “Where I cannot give her breath or a steady beating heart, He can.”


Amelia has given this gift to us all. A steady beating HEART unified in the prayers lifted on her behalf. She has breathed LIFE into the prayers of thousands, as she fights for her own.


This little one has done mighty things for God.


Let us not forget this. Realize how abundantly blessed you are. As the days turn into weeks and you go about your “normal”, continue to talk to God throughout your day. Use your words to speak to your Savior, and in turn allow Him to speak through you to others. Lift each other up in prayer, but also in purpose. Help those in need. Give of your time. Be selfless. Be loving.


Let your Amen always remind you of Amelia. A tiny soul who changed us all.






SCRIPTURE READING:
Philippians 4:6-7
Colossians 4:2
Matthew 18:20, 26:41
Psalm 5:3, 19:14, 42:8
I Thessalonians 5:16-18

My daughter gave me a precious gift this Christmas. A dainty bracelet with the inscription Proverbs 3:5-6. A daily reminder to me. One that I have thought about so often lately, and one that I shared with my girls on our last shopping trip together.


Back when I was in high school, our school put on a little production. I will never forget one of the production leaders teaching us a catchy tune to the verse Proverbs 3:5-6. That tune has stuck with me through the last 40 years, but the meaning of the verse has grown in its significance as each year passes.


Lately it has been my life line and I find myself wondering why I didn’t truly live it for the past 40 plus years. My words said I did, my head thought I did~
but my heart and soul did not.
I often leaned heavily on my own understanding, especially when life hit hard.


Oh, if I had only truly trusted His sovereignty through everything. Through all the tiny inconsequential mishaps that I allowed to ruin my days, to the heavy grief that seemed to engulf my every waking moment~


My emotions ran ragged.
Worry, stress, irritation and anger took over. Wishing things could be different took place too often, and at times fear overshadowed my days.
I never stopped to fully take in the fact that God was in complete control of every single thing. Nothing was a surprise to Him. Nothing.


If we could only grasp this fact as we head into a new year. Every morning waking up and praying this verse before our feet touch the ground~


“Lord I trust you. Help me not to ever lean on my own understanding, but to acknowledge you in every single thing today so that you will direct my paths.”


Paths that lead to reactions that glorify Him no matter what life throws at us, because we trust Him and know it’s for our good. This simple prayer has literally changed my life. There’s an incredible comfort each morning as I place each future moment in His hands, and fully surrender my trust to Him.


In the beginning God.
January 1, 2023.
A new beginning.


A beginning with complete trust in the God who has been here before there ever was a beginning. The God who gives us no ending. The God of grace and hope and love.


Trust in the Lord of new beginnings.
Trust Him with all your heart.




SCRIPTURE READING:
Proverbs 3:5-6
Proverbs 16:9
Matthew 6:10
James 4:15
Psalm 36:23-24
Genesis 1:1
John 1:1
Isaiah 46:9-10
Romans 8:28
Ephesians 1:11-12

Last week I wrote about missing my yesterdays…
Let me tell you about my today.


I ponder this day as I reflect on Christmases past. Christmas Eves full of excitement. Trying to get children to sleep so that presents would appear under the tree the next morning. Late nights and early mornings every year. Joyful laughter filling every corner of the house.
Of my home.


But tonight.


As parents around the world relate to this happy noise Christmas Eve brings, others are experiencing a silent night. The kids are grown and the house remains quiet.


I couldn’t help but ponder the moment Jesus was born as I thought on this.


God’s silent night.
The earth’s Holy night.


Jesus left His Father. Despite knowing the incredible sacrifice, sadness did not engulf His Father’s silent night, for the inexplicable love that God had for us took all sadness away. With joy unspeakable, His Son left the happiness of home and heaven. In the gift of Himself, He took away all silence and replaced it with a multitude of heavenly hosts praising God. He gave us glory and hope.
He gave us Himself.


Always with us.
Never alone again.


My kids might not be under my roof anymore. My home may be silent, but my heart can be full. Your heart can be full.


On this night, that excitement that was once a part of my home lives on. It lives in my children as they share hope with a world that can sometimes feel hopeless. As they sing praises to God on this Holy night. As they share the good news of God’s gift with strangers and friends, loved ones and children. It lives in my grandchildren as their parents try to get them to sleep and then a few short hours later, in the laughter coming down stairs of expectation and joy.


Tonight is not silent. Tonight is Holy.
God came down.
He came down to give us expectation and joy. Forgiveness and hope. From the star that led the way, to the cry of a newborn~every moment of this night leads us back to our Father. And oh that our hearts would pierce that silence with our songs of deliverance.


Glory to God in the highest and on earth, peace goodwill toward man!!


Scripture Reading:
Daniel 12:3
Luke 2
​

I miss yesterday.


There’s a strange emptiness inside me at Christmas. A hole that seems to get larger with each passing year~


It’s the memories of Christmases past and the ones who made this season so beautiful for me. A house full of children and magic. Parents and grandparents coming to visit. Cookies baked and Christmas carols playing.


Life has changed so much. It’s not the same. And I miss it. I know I shouldn’t long for the past, but at times I find myself pining for it. I know I should be rejoicing in Jesus, the entire meaning of Christmas, but sometimes I still find myself looking back to my yesterdays and wishing for them back…


I miss my kids being right upstairs. I miss my parents. I miss my In-laws living only a few hours away and their frequent visits to see us. I miss all the Christmas parties at aunt Mendi’s. I miss family. I miss Christmas dinner at Mom’s.


Maybe I’m the only one who feels this type of emptiness. Deep down, I’m a nostalgic sap.


Today I listened to my grandchildren all huddled around me, sharing in their excitement. “Only 10 days till Christmas grandma!!” And I yearn to make my daughters understand how beautiful these moments are in their lives. Right now. Moments with mom and dad right down the road, with excited little voices in every room. With cookies and carols and all the Christmas chaos. I want to tell them to soak it all in. Every last second. Even the exhaustion as their heads hit their pillows each night. Today. Right now. It will never be here again.


What marvelous, majestic gifts God gave me year after year each Christmas. Gifts I took for granted. Gifts I opened each Christmas season, smiled, said thank you to Jesus and then forgot about. Until now.


He is still giving me marvelous gifts, if I will just open my eyes to see them. They might not look the same but in my remembering the days of old, I am reminded that I am a part of the gifts He is giving my children and grandchildren. Gifts they will one day recall and cherish. I can choose to pine away for my yesterdays or I can make those gifts beautiful. The same way my parents, my in laws, my grandparents and aunts all did for me.


In this moment as I sit and listen to the quiet, God shows me that I am looking at Christmas all wrong. I wanted my yesterdays and all the joy they brought, until it dawned on me that my tomorrows are not promised. It’s not what I can get every day leading up to Christmas. It’s what I can give. What will my loved ones and friends remember?


What will your loved ones and friends remember? What will your children and grandchildren remember? Instead of focusing on the memories of your yesterdays, I want to encourage you to focus on the moments of your todays. Ask yourself~ “how can I make the lives of everyone around me better?”


Somehow my parents, my In-laws and my aunts all made magical memories for me. Memories I cherish. I’m sure they were missing their yesterdays now and then too, but they never showed it. They made my life better, sweeter. They taught me how to give of yourself to those you love.


I don’t know what next Christmas holds. Perhaps God will choose to take me home before I celebrate another season.


And so, today I will take my own advice. I will soak it all in. Every second. I will make magic for my children and grandchildren. I will fill that hole to the brim with the gift of giving. Not of things, but of memories. Beautiful, majestic Christmas memories. And one day I pray they will realize,


Those are the best gifts of all.

​Today I’m inviting you to my wedding. I’m sharing a video my son made for us 7 years ago for our 30th anniversary…

When you’re young and you fall in love, quite often you don’t think too far ahead. You’re living in the moment. Maybe you talk about children or future plans, but the farthest you get in your thought process is the dream of getting old together, sitting on a porch with a white picket fence and smiling at the wonderful life God allowed you. 

Lately, I have continually heard the question~ “How did you know he was the one?” It seems to be a recurring theme on sappy Christmas movies. I pondered that as I thought back. It occurred to me the other day that I actually had that vision of Mike and I when I first got married, the whole “growing old, white picket fence” thing.  I never saw that future with anyone else. 

A future where I couldn’t live without him. 

When I was 20, I never dreamed that someday my crazy, active young man (who could face any challenge and do any thing) would have three major joints replaced within 5 months time. His shoulder, right knee and next week, his left knee. 

When we’re young, we don’t like to think about the “what if’s” of our futures. What if my husband gets dementia? What if my husband gets cancer? What if he has heart problems or lung problems? 

What if he is no longer the strong man I lean on, when I really need to lean on him? 

My husband is my best friend. He’s the love of my life, but I’ll be honest~ there have been times I’ve lost my patience with him. I’ve lost the spark. I’ve misplaced my dreams, the very dreams that we actually got to live out together. 

I remember that childish girl who promised her forever to the man of those dreams. Our anniversary is this week and I remember my “for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” I meant every word as he held my hands in front of 500 people 37 years ago.

Truth be told~ I’m sure he didn’t think he signed up for a wife with all my issues either,  but he loves me despite me. 

This “outward” that we grow old with isn’t truly us, it’s just our physical bodies aging through the process of time. Our true self lies deep within. It is our souls. They never grow old. I fell in love with Mike’s soul 37 years ago.  

Today I want to encourage you to remember that soul you fell in love with. The soul God placed in your hands to love and cherish. Some days it’s a lot harder to do, but those are the days we need to remind ourselves that our husbands have hard days dealing with us as well. 

You hold his soul in the heart of your actions, your words, your respect, your passion, your touch, your empathy, your patience your tenderness~
and most importantly~
your love. 

Remember that young girl who couldn’t imagine a future without him. 

Whatever you face in the days ahead, whatever reality has squashed the dreams of that naive young bride you once were, don’t let go of that promise to love. No matter what. 

I wrote the words to that song we’re singing at our wedding. Mike came up with the tune. I cannot believe shy Charisse even attempted to sing it. That’s what love  does to you, makes you believe you can do anything. 

With all your heart, with all your soul~
Make each other believe again this Christmas. 

Scripture Reading:
I Corinthians 13:1-8, 16:14
I John 4:7-8
I Timothy 5:8
Romans 12:9-10
John 15:11-12
Hebrews 10:24

Have you ever prayed for your children, but deep down felt like it would take a literal miracle for it to be answered?
Sadly, I have…


I had a dear friend who used to remind me continually of who Jesus is. Not who Jesus was, but who He is~ the same yesterday, today and forever. The same Jesus who worked wondrous miracles throughout the Bible is the same Jesus working miracles in my life today.


My friend went home to heaven one week before my dad. He was such an encourager. From the day we met him until the day he went home to be with Jesus, he continually lifted my heart when it was down. His words were like presents and hugs wrapped into one. He was always jolly, and I think of him so often.


Today I recall such a day of encouragement. You see, a mother’s prayer has been answered and my friend encouraged me through the waiting.


If you have or had teenage children (or children in general), you will understand. Although it may seem trivial compared to the heartache some are facing today, it can still break a mama’s heart when her daughter’s fight continually and you don’t see any hope at the end of the tunnel. You have visions of them hating each other the rest of their lives. Every holiday get together from now until infinity will be riddled with strife or empty seats because they refuse to celebrate together.
Yes, it was that bad.


For a few years, I think I cried over my bible and coffee every morning after they left for school.


And then one day a miracle slipped in. It was so subtle and although they are completely different personalities, my girls became best friends. And I am in awe. I had almost given up on that prayer. A prayer I prayed for almost 20 years. And when I stood back and watched it unfold, I thought about the words of my friend as he told me stories of his own two girls. How he encouraged me continually, and how his smile lit up his face as he spoke of his daughter’s sweet friendship now.


Today, I am on a Christmas shopping trip with my own daughters. Not just the two I spoke of, but my youngest and my daughter in law as well. It has become a Christmas tradition. Our “girls” trip. We get a hotel. We shop, we eat, we drink lots of coffee, we shop some more, we laugh and maybe cry, we pray, we blast Christmas music…
and this mama rejoices.


My God is so good.


Today I want to encourage you to not give up on the heart of your mama prayers. Today I want to encourage you to be an encourager. Everyone needs a bit of jolly in their lives. You can give them that gift.


I’m so thankful for my friend and I’ll never forget his words to me. Today as I sit and listen to my girls laughter in the other room, I smile through the tears and I know my friend is smiling in heaven right along with me. With a twinkle in his eye I can hear him say~ I told you Charisse.
God can do anything.


Scripture Reading:
Hebrews 13:8
Hebrews 10:24-25
Romans 1:11-12, 8:26, 15:2, 5
I Thessalonians 5:11, 17
2 Corinthians 1:5
Galatians 6:2
Philippians 4:6
Luke 11:9
John 15:7
Mark 11:24
Jeremiah 33:3
Psalm 27:13-14, 28:7, 34:17

I want everyone to stop telling me to be thankful. I’m tired of reading it in devotionals, of hearing it in messages, of seeing quotes about it plastered all over social media.
I. DON’T. WANT. TO. BE. THANKFUL!


…Although I do not feel it this year, I have uttered those same thoughts during Thanksgivings of the past. Right around this time, heartache has hit home for me twice in the loss of both my parents. The despair was still raw. I was not angry at God, but in those moments I can honestly say~I wasn’t thankful either.


This past week I have heard some heavy hearts pour out that same ache to me over various situations in their lives. Thanksgiving does not feel thankful. One ache that has manifested itself often this holiday is that of a child who chooses to make the time for everyone else in their life except their mama.


The saddest part of that to me is the fact that the mothers are going through deep despair of their own. And yet, not a call, not a visit, not a hug, not a
“How are you doing mom? Are you okay?”


Nothing.
And it breaks my heart.


I was incredibly blessed to have a childhood many only dream of. We weren’t rich, but my parents made sure we knew how deeply we were loved. As the years went by, my relationship with my mom wasn’t always the best. I felt so justified in many of the angry moments I had toward her and her unrealistic expectations, but the older I get and the harder life becomes at times, the more I understand. She was hurting and I didn’t really get that.


I don’t think children ever really do until they’re putting those shoes on themselves. Mom is always mom. If the whole family is sick and she’s sick too, it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t get a day off. She takes care of everyone else. And for the rest of her life, that’s her role. Taking care of everyone else. Too often children forget that she’s hurting too. That she needs to be taken care of. That she needs someone to say, “Are you ok mom?”


Despite the disagreements, I would give anything to have my mom today. To hold her. To tell her how much I love her. To apologize for being selfish and not calling enough. To show her I understand now.


This Thanksgiving I am thankful for so many things. Blessings beyond measure. And I’m thankful for my mom and dad. I hope they always knew that. If they were alive today, I’d make sure I told them again and again.


Whatever your family dynamic is, pick up that phone and call your parents. Go visit them. Ask them how they’re doing. Tell them how much you love them. Try to see life from their eyes and how hard it can be at times. Ask God to show you their perspective before it’s too late.


Both years I lost my parents I faced the toughest Thanksgivings ever. Mom passed in November and dad in October. That’s an ache that no one understands unless you’ve gone through it yourself. I know of sweet mamas going through cancer treatments, sweet moms who lost their husbands recently, sweet moms who are all alone week after week after week.


Sweet moms who haven’t heard from their children.


I’m not going to tell you all the reasons you should be grateful this Thanksgiving. I know God tells us “In everything give thanks”, but I also understand heartache.
I will forever cling to the knowledge that Jesus wept. What a comfort~God understands too. Instead, I’m going to remind you that when you are hurting, your mom is hurting. Sometimes, SO much more. You have an opportunity today to give your parents a gift.


This Thanksgiving weekend, call your mom.
Call your dad.
Give your parents the gift of Thanksgiving. Oh if you only knew how much of a difference it would make in their lives and how much it would touch their hearts.


You might not understand today but,
one day you will and you will wish for today again. Make sure it’s a memory you’re grateful for and not one you will regret.


Scripture Reading:
I Timothy 5:4
Exodus 20:12
Deuteronomy 5:16
Proverbs 1:8
Psalm 133:1
Proverbs 10:1
Proverbs 23:22,25
I Corinthians 13:4-8,13
Luke 6:32
I Peter 4:8

I was a somewhat self centered new bride. Thirty seven years later, and I still am at times. Everything all about me. It’s something I’m constantly working on.


When we were newlyweds, we came up with our own little life plan. We were going to wait to have kids, spend a few years getting to know each other better and then start a family. Two months later I was pregnant. I was 20 years old.


Funny, with my first pregnancy it was all about the experience for me. (I blame it on my immaturity😂) The cute clothes, the big announcement, the first grandchild, the family excitement. The idea of being pregnant was so magical. Until reality hit.


I didn’t just have morning sickness, I had 24/7 sickness. Anytime, anywhere. When it hit, it hit hard. It was no respecter of time or place. And suddenly, it was no longer about that little baby growing inside of me. It was all about me.


I whined. I complained. I cried. I pouted. I felt sorry for myself. I forgot about the “why” because I was so focused on me.


But when my precious little child was born, everything changed.


All the sickness of pregnancy and pain of childbirth was wrapped up in a tiny baby and when that gift was given to me, it was beyond good. She was my miracle.


Her birthday is next week. She continues to teach me what selfless truly means. She is one of the most selfless people I know.


Looking back I realize, if I had taken my eyes off of Charisse and focused on the miracle inside me, things could have been so different. I’m not trying to say that I miraculously would have avoided morning sickness, but a different outlook could have changed my life, and the lives of those around me.


We are human. It’s easy to let the “what about me” feelings seep in and control us. It’s natural to want others to feel sorry for us when life is hard, to want a little compassion and even empathy.
Life is hard. For some, unbearably hard.


But even in the unbearable, we are not alone. There is a Miracle living inside us and His name is Jesus. From the beginning of time He has promised that He will always be with us and will never leave us comfortless.


Some of us might be so focused on ourselves that we completely miss God’s “why”. Others might not ever know the “why” of their suffering until they are home in heaven one day. In either case, we can choose to glorify our Savior if we will learn to continually fix our eyes on Him.


Sometimes we forget that. We take our eyes off the Miracle and focus on ourselves.


My first little miracle’s name is Jessica.
When she was born, everything changed.


The miracle of all mankind’s name is Jesus. The season of His birth is fast approaching. He is our Wonderful, our Counselor, our Prince of peace. He is our Comforter and Sustainer.


All our pain, all our sin and all our suffering was wrapped up in a precious little baby Who took it upon Himself when He died on the cross. When He was born, all of mankind was given the greatest gift of all.
Everything changed. Our past, our present, our future. Our eternity.


All the pain and all the “hard” that we might be going through will one day produce our own miracle. I know this to be true because God promises me that whatever I face is for my good, and I trust Him. I’m not trying to convince you that the hard will miraculously go away if we take our eyes off of ourselves and place them on our Savior, but I am saying that our lives will look a whole lot different if we do.


And the lives of those around you will be better for it.


Focus on the Miracle inside you.
Focus on the miracle of Jesus.






SCRIPTURE READING


Hebrews 12:1-2
Galatians 2:20
Ephesians 3:16-21
2 Corinthians 13:4-5
Isaiah 9:6-7
John 14:18-20
John 3:16
Romans 8:28, 38-39
Isaiah 41:10-13
1 Peter 5:7
Hebrews 13:5-6

I’m such a baby.


My husband had his knee replaced on Monday. He came home Monday night. Yes, that’s quick. Too quick. Since he did so great with his shoulder replacement in July, we thought we knew what to expect.
We were wrong. His first day home he overdid the exercises and didn’t take his prescribed pain medication. Tuesday the pain and swelling set in. By Tuesday evening the tears were rolling down my cheeks as I changed his bandages and heard him cry out in pain. Lessons learned for the next knee, scheduled in December.


Wednesday as I sat with him in Physical therapy and watched his face riddled with pain again, I fought back the tears and had this little conversation inside my head~ “Charisse. Get a hold of yourself. Be strong. You look ridiculous crying over this.”


I thought about that a lot today. Me being a big baby. How ridiculous I looked crying over my husband’s pain, how ridiculous I look when I cry about a lot of things…
but then I had a little God moment epiphany~
Who says? Who says it’s ridiculous to cry?
Who has the right to say it is weak to weep when we see loved ones in pain or even when we are experiencing heartache of our own?


God doesn’t. Man does.


Man’s words are continually ingrained into us~ Be strong. Other people are going through much worse. Look at all your blessings, you have no right to cry. Don’t show your vulnerabilities. Don’t be weak. And yet, the majority of the time it’s all a facade.


We are weak. We are human. Tears flow.


And guess what? God is okay with that because in our weakness we find His strength.


God really opened my eyes to that fact in my bible reading this week. I read the story of a woman who was barren. It touched me deeply. My own child is experiencing this anguish and it is a rollercoaster of emotions. Hard doesn’t come close to describing it. Prayers have been poured out. Tears have been shed. An answer has not come.


As I read God’s words to me about the story of Hannah, several things were brought to my attention. Hannah was never reprimanded by God for crying. Hannah cried because of how she was treated by another woman. She cried because her prayers weren’t answered. She cried because her heart was broken. She had bitterness of soul and wept.
Even the man of God judged her.
God did not. There is power in her story.


The hard hit home this week. My husband endured excruciating pain. A sweet friend had breast cancer surgery and another dear friend found out she has pancreatic cancer. There is heartache all around us. Life can be so cruel, but oh how powerful our great God is. He will help us walk through the unthinkable and from our pain He will produce miracles. Others may judge us because of our tears, but God does not. God does not diminish the pain we feel. He does not categorize our tears. He keeps every one of them. He tells us to cast ALL our cares on Him. Not just the big cares, ALL the cares. He understands. God offers grace. He offers tenderness. He offers miracles.

As I got my dad’s old walker out of the backseat of our car and helped my husband into another therapy session yesterday, the emotions were all there. Memories came rushing in of doing the same thing for my dad at countless doctor appointments. It was also the anniversary of my mom’s home going. In that brief moment I wanted to yell at the world~”I’m tired of trying to be strong!!!”


But then I recalled the words of a dear friend, beautifully reminding us all not to quit.


Hannah never quit. Though she had tears, she kept on praying to God for her miracle.


And so, I watched my husband take one tiny step after another and I thanked God through the tears. I know God’s working miracles, but I also know He thinks it’s okay if I cry through the process. I will give the hard to Him again and again, day after day because my yoke might be heavy but when I give that yoke to Him, my burdens become light. I may not see the answers I’m looking for and I might cry like a baby, but this one thing I am confident of~He will hold me through it all and allow me to let the tears fall with no judgement.
He will whisper to my soul~


It’s okay Charisse, have a good cry. Miracles are coming.




SCRIPTURE READING:


2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Philippians 1:6
Matthew 11:28-30
I Peter 5:7
Psalm 34:17-19, 56:8-9, 147:3-5
Hebrews 4:15-16
I Samuel 1
Isaiah 40:28-29, 43:2
John 16:33

Can you take out the trash? Can you go to the store? Can you fix the sink? Can you put gas in the car? Can you rub my back? Can you read my mind,
know why I’m in a bad mood without me telling you,
be romantic and meet my every need~ while also allowing me to take out every frustration on you?


Christmas movies are coming back in full swing. I’ve seen the commercials. I’ve heard the comments. “Same story, different town”. This week I reflected on my own Christmas movie moment 38 years ago. All the mushy feelings portrayed in those commercials, I was feeling that Christmas. And then I thought about today…


Each person’s love story is unique to them, but I think the one thing most of us can agree on is that it started out just like everyone else’s. Falling madly in love.


Despite the pressures and responsibilities, despite all the stress life could throw at you, you fell in love. You thought about that person constantly. You made time for each other and life seemed to melt away when you were together.


Today, 38 years later I realize too often that when life throws the “bad” at me, I take it out on my husband. I either want him to fix it, or I want to rehash all my frustrations without him giving me a practical solution. I just want to whine. And through it all I’m yelling
“I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at the situation!!!” This can be very confusing for the poor guy. Sure seems like I’m mad at the world, husband included.


I find that I look to him as a resource instead of a relationship. I take his love for granted.


I reread one of my own posts this week that asked the question~ “Are you treating your connection to God like a resource instead of a relationship?” When I first posted it, I honestly thought~
Nope! Not me!


So God did something a little different to open my eyes. He showed me all the ways I treat my connection to my husband like a resource instead of a relationship. Once He did that, I realized I was doing the same things with God. My mutterings are too often “Please, please, please” and not enough “thank you” or even just sitting still in His presence and loving just being with my Savior. Too often I want happiness, peace, comfort, love and answers to all my prayers~
instead of just God. I take His love for granted.


Here is the great takeaway though~
God actually WANTS to do all those things for us because THAT’S WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE. And then I thought of all the things I’m constantly asking of Mike and without complaint, he does them. Because that’s what love looks like.


And so, I determined to refocus on my relationship with my husband and with my Savior. I want to pour my heart and soul into those relationships. I want to remember all those feelings I had for Mike 38 years ago when life never got in the way.


There is nothing wrong with asking God to help us love more. To love our spouses more, to love God more. The very first fruit of His Spirit is love. So, this morning before I got out of bed I asked God to show me that love in Who He is. To help me not to just go to Him for “all the things”, but to have a real relationship with Him. I opened my bedroom curtains to a breathtaking sunrise. It painted the entire sky with it’s beauty. It made me realize that God is ALWAYS showing me that love in Who He is, I’m just too busy with Charisse to notice.


We should be one with our spouses, just as we should be one with God. He is in us and for us. He holds our hands and loves us through everything.


As the years pass, let’s not all end up with “same story, different town” in our relationships. Let’s not be so busy focusing on ourselves that we fail to notice the many ways our spouses show us they love us on a daily basis. Let’s bring on the romance when we’re in our 80’s. Let’s love on our spouses just because. Let’s remember all those mushy feelings we had.


And let’s not allow our relationship with God to become a resource only. Let’s think on Him constantly. Let’s allow life to melt away when we’re in His presence, let’s notice the many ways God shows us His love on a daily basis. It’s evident in every single thing your eye can behold. A love so great that all the books in the world could not contain the countless ways He loves us. Let’s sit at His feet and adore Him.


Because that’s what love looks like.




Scripture Reading: Luke 17:12-19,
John 21:25, Romans 1:20-21, Psalm 19:1-2, Matthew 22:37-40

​*Thats the view from my bedroom window ❤️

What is a woman?
I am a woman.


When I was a little girl, I never would have imagined that the use of that phrase could possibly cause controversy.


I am a woman.
I am incredibly thankful I am a woman.


Not because I am better than a man.
Not because I want to shove that sentence in someone’s face.

I am thankful because that is who God made me to be~
and I embrace it.


Through various movements of the last century, women have been inundated with two requisites. The first~Women are powerful. The second~Just being a woman isn’t enough.
We need to “be more” and “do more” so that we can prove we “are more”.
The world is constantly screaming “more” in the face of femininity.
The concept contradicts itself.


I have nothing to prove.
I am a woman.


Femininity has gone through all the stages.
From the genuine love of being a homemaker to~
“I am equal to and even better than man”, to “there is no such thing as a woman”. Wives, mothers and homemakers have been made to feel less than, looked down upon and even ignorant.


Definitely not powerful.


This morning as I prayed, my own mother came to mind. I pictured her doing “all the things”. Her arm halfway in a turkey on Thanksgiving morning. The ironing board out every Tuesday and the vacuum and mop every Friday. The home cooked meals, the date nights with my dad, the stories read to me before I went to bed each night.


She loved every minute of it.
I loved every minute of it.
And I wept.


Not because my mom was weak, brainwashed by society at the time, or even ignorant~


But because my mom was powerful.
She gave me the precious gift of a childhood that kids only dream of. She instilled in me a deep gratitude and love of everyday life, the feeling of comfort, security and love. The desire to pass that on to everyone I meet. She had an impact on my life in a thousand different ways. An impact that enables me to say today~


I am blessed to be a woman.
I am blessed to be a wife.
I am blessed to be a mother.


Over and over in scripture God gives us examples of powerful women. Today I read about two. One was a judge. One was a housewife. God used BOTH for His glory. His power was evident in the soft hand of a woman.


Woman and man.
Male and female.
I am a woman.


Any earthly accomplishments or possessions I have at the end of this life will only be wood hay and stubble. I cannot take my accomplishments and possessions with me when I die.


But oh the power in spreading light through darkness, kindness instead of hatred, finding joy in every moment, loving your husband and raising little souls for God’s kingdom. Little souls that will impact the world for a future we may never see.


Souls that can share the light of Jesus.
A light that this dark world desperately needs.


There is power in that. It doesn’t come from the reserve of an accomplished female who checks off all the boxes this world deems necessary to claim the pronoun “she” today.


The power comes from Christ within us.
And with that power we can change the world.


I am a woman.
If I choose, I will dance around the house in my skirts and high heels. I will cook meals and bake goodies with my grandchildren. I will clean my home and be thankful for the million little things God blesses me with on a daily basis. I will love on my husband. I will minister to other women, write blog posts, share God’s word, comfort and love in only a way a woman can do. I will be powerful and I will pass that power of Christ on to the next generation. I will embrace womanhood and shout it from the rooftops, with absolutely no shame.


I don’t have to choose my pronoun because God has chosen it for me from the beginning of time.


I am a woman,
And I praise God for it.


SCRIPTURE READING:
John 15:16
Jeremiah 1:5
Romans 8:4
Psalms 139:13-18
Judges 4