3/15/2024
The Power Of A MamaI looked into my daughter’s eyes. They were scared and filled with tears, desperately looking for answers. They were crying “Please help me.” without saying a word. And 30 years flashed by in that moment…
I saw her tiny eyes when they opened for the very first time. They called me “Mama”, without saying a word. I saw her tiny, 2 year old eyes when I joined the other mamas at the church nursery door. With relief they cried, “There you are mama.” without saying a word. I saw her tiny, 4 year old eyes in pain when she broke her collar bone. They cried “Please take away this pain.” without saying a word. I saw her little, 5 year old eyes hold on to mine as she left for her first day of school. They cried “I will miss you so much.” without saying a word. I saw her little, 7 year old eyes on the platform during the spring concert. They searched for me among a sea of faces in the school auditorium. When they found me they smiled and said, “I’m so glad you’re here.” without saying a word. I saw her big girl, 15 year old eyes on the basketball court when she made that shot. They turned to see if I saw, and when they locked with mine I cried, “I’m so proud of you.” without saying a word. I saw her big girl, 18 year old eyes filled with tears as we said goodbye in front of her dormitory. I could not speak for the lump in my throat, my eyes cried “It’s too soon. I’m not ready. There’s so much more I need to teach you, but you will do amazing and I will miss you more than you will ever know.”, without ever saying a word. I saw her adult eyes filled with happiness when she walked down that aisle. They caught mine and my heart cried, “God is answering my prayers today, even though I wish you could stay my little girl a little longer.” But my eyes reflected her happiness, without saying a word. When she held her newborn for the very first time, I saw her mama eyes. Her heart smiled through them and when they caught mine I cried, “How can this be? My baby had a baby.” and my own heart filled with unexplainable love, without saying a word. But then, I saw her scared, confused sorrow filled eyes as they pleaded for help, and the tears spilled down her cheeks. And the “hard” hit like it never has before. I held her. And I let those eyes cry. I didn’t have the answers. I couldn’t take the “hard” away. And when she looked into my eyes, I wiped her tears away and cried “I will always, always be here for you. I may not always have the answers, but I will hold you, and pray for you, and love you forever.” without ever saying a word. Oh mama. Those eyes are always searching for yours. On days when you don’t feel like you measure up. On days when you feel like you blew it. On days when you don’t have the answers for the hard questions. Those eyes will still look for yours. They need you and they will always look for yours. Because you are mama. I have verbally said all of these things to my children, but sometimes our children don’t need answers, they just need our presence. Your presence holds the very essence of what a mama is. When they look into your eyes, make sure that’s what they see. Strength, guidance, nurturing and loyalty. Protection, pride, comfort and unconditional love. In the pain, in the background, in the crowd, in the big steps and small ones, in the heartache and the happiness. As long as you are alive, even in their old age~be present. Because your presence says it all, without ever saying a word. That’s the power of a mama. “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?” Isaiah 49:15 “As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you.” Isaiah 66:13
3/8/2024
He Knows You BetterAs I sat crying, I wondered how my mind could be so powerful, and yet so weak. It has the power to convince me of lies, and then the weakness to believe those lies.
Even though I know God knows everything about me, even though I know He knows my every thought, in my weakness I try to be strong. I realized today that I haven’t been an open book with God lately. As I prayed, my mind told me that I should not say “those words” out loud to Him. I dare not complain. I dare not list the thousand and one things that weigh me down, emotionally and spiritually. Because~ “That’s not what a good Christian does when they pray. Certainly God doesn’t want to be bothered with my petty problems, or pain from the past that I so easily succumb to.” You know me. I’ve written several posts about pouring your heart out to God. I have an easy time bringing all the big things to Him in prayer, but sometimes I don’t think to bring Him all the little things as well. And without me realizing, the little things continue to pile up on top of the big things. Suddenly I feel buried. Somehow I convinced myself that I shouldn’t expose my humanness to Him. He would be so disappointed. I have to push those thoughts aside. I have to fight the good fight. How silly of me. How weak of me to think I somehow have that power to hide those thoughts from God. I may not express them, but He knows every single one of them. And so, today I told him ALL of it. As each thing came to mind (and there were A LOT of “things”), I talked to Him about it. At times, I felt like a failure. So weak. How did I get to this place? This place of melancholy and lack of joy. This place of feeling burdened, misunderstood and alone. My heart already knew how. Because I never talked to Him about it to begin with. I just kept “trying”. Trying to be good in my own strength. Trying to tell myself that this is not how a Pastor’s wife and christian blogger should think. “Trying” in our humanness is pride. Pride because somehow we think we can do this life without God, even if it’s a life that we think honors Him. Without Him, we are nothing. And ladies, today as I poured out my heart~all my failures, all my thoughts, all my weaknesses and selfish motives and all my fears~ God was with me. He sat with me as I cried, and His word reminded me that He already knew all of my heart before I ever chose to reveal it to Him. He had been waiting for me to do just that. And once I did, my heart felt free. Through the tears I praised Him. I praised Him for never giving up on me. I praised Him for saving my soul. I praised Him for all the blessings in my life. I praised Him for listening and loving me. I praised Him for the peace that came over me and the joy that He restored. I praised Him for always giving me a word from His word, exactly what I need every single time. I praised Him for His grace. Ladies, don’t ever be embarrassed to talk to God. Don’t ever think you have to have it all together before you can come to Him, or that somehow you have to hide your true feelings as you talk to Him. We might not always know how to process our humanness and the emotions we are feeling, but God does~ so why do we even try to figure it out on our own? He knows you far better than you know you. Cast all your cares on Him, never forgetting how very much He cares for you. His grace will always, always be sufficient for exactly what we need. SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 38:8-10, 15 Psalm 39:7 Psalm 40:1-3, 5, 16 Psalm 55:22 Psalm 116:1-2 Psalm 139:1-12 Matthew 11:28 1 Peter 5:7 2 Corinthians 12:9 Galatians 5:1 Isaiah 58:6, 8-9 John 15:4-5, 11
3/1/2024
Please BewareEvery single day I have to block fraudulent profiles on my Holding Hope page. They usually attach themselves to someone else who has already commented on one of my posts, and seek their “friendship” with kind and inviting words. Their profiles always look professional, and quite often they pose as men in the military or medical field. They prey on women, hoping to catch someone unaware of who they really are. They appear to be one thing, but are completely the opposite. Please beware~
They aren’t your friend. They don’t want to be your friend. They want to steal your identity and destroy you. I couldn’t help but see a comparison. Scripture warns us that Satan is subtle and goes about sneaking and seeking. He gets into our heads. He lies, accuses, corrupts, destroys and steals~all while looking like an angel of light. He preys on our weaknesses, and once he has gotten into our heads he has us believing all his lies. ◦ Lies about relationships and loneliness: telling you that you will always be alone. ◦ Lies about insecurities, comparison and jealousy: she’s better, smarter, prettier, happier. ◦ Lies about social media: convincing you that this is what life is all about, this is what life should be. This is the life you will never have. ◦ Lies about self pity: no one cares about you. No one sees how hard you work. Your life is so hard. ◦ Lies about your job. ◦ Lies about your pride. ◦ Lies about what other people think. ◦ Lies about your spouse and your marriage. ◦ Lies about your church. ◦ Lies about your life. ◦ Even lies about Christ. What is a Christian to do? How can we possibly fight this? If Satan is that subtle, how will we even know what is a lie and what is truth? And that’s why week after week I post scripture. I cannot emphasize this enough~ my words cannot fight off the lies~ but God!!!! His words are power and we HAVE TO KNOW them!! We overcome when we continually draw nigh to God, by the blood of the Lamb, Christ Jesus our Savior. By the testimony of others. By God’s grace. By the power of Christ. By faith. By being rooted and grounded in His love. We overcome by acknowledging God in every single decision, by asking the Holy Spirit to shed light in our hearts and by being strong in the Lord. How do I know this? Because God’s word says so! I reminded you last week that the Christian life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. It’s a battle. We have to know who our enemy is but more importantly~ we have to know who GOD is. Let me tell you just a few of HIS truths: ◦ You’re never alone ◦ You’re eternally loved ◦ You’re who God created you to be ◦ EVERYTHING we need is written in HIS word ◦ Our identity is in Christ ◦ He is our all in all Please beware~Satan wants to steal your identity. He will sneak into your thoughts, comments and actions, all the while telling you lies you carelessly believe. That fraudulent friend request will continually come. Satan will never stop until we are at home in heaven. Every single day, every single thing we need is in Jesus, the Son of God. Hold tight to that truth, rooted and grounded in the love of your Savior, Redeemer, Comforter and Friend. Our God who gave us eternal life. Our God who cannot lie. Seek wisdom and discernment through His word. In all your ways acknowledge Him. His light will not only show you the lies of the enemy, His light will show you the truth. The truth that only comes from the truest Friend. SCRIPTURE READING: James 4:4 James 4:6-8 Proverbs 3:5-6 2 Corinthians 4:4, 6, 8-10 Ephesians 6:10-13 Revelation 12:9-12 2 Corinthians 11:3 John 10:10 John 8:44 2 Corinthians 11:14 1 Peter 5:8-9 Hebrews 13:5-6 Deuteronomy 31:6 Jeremiah 31:3 Ephesians 2:10 Psalm 139:14 Galatians 2:20 Romans 8:37-39 Colossians 3:1-2, 23-24 Galatians 6:3 Romans 8:14-17 Ephesians 3:17-19 1 Corinthians 15:28 Psalm 119 John 15:14-16 Zephaniah 3:17 Titus 1:2-3 Colossians 3:16
2/23/2024
Hope and PraiseI know heartbreak. I know darkness. I know loneliness, sadness, depression, questions and sleepless nights. I share quotes about circumstances like these often, because I know they’re real. I’ve experienced each one. My countenance may have looked fine to the outside world, but during those moments the pain ran deep.
David is a perfect example of what each of us may go through at some point in our lives. In Psalms 5:11&12 we read of David shouting for joy, proclaiming God’s goodness. In the very next chapter (6:6-9) he tells us he is weary and groaning, filling his eyes with grief and his bed with tears. The Christian life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. It’s a battle. And it’s hard. And I’ve been in the middle of it. But the “hard” doesn’t stay. Praise God. It doesn’t stay my friend. And that’s why I started this page. Because of that hope. I know it exists, and I want to give God all the glory for it. In the past, when I have felt as if I couldn’t see an even a twinkle of light in the darkness that surrounded me, I did not give up on that hope. Because I remembered. I closed my eyes and whispered the name of Jesus. And the remembrance of all the times He has brought me through the heartaches and pain became incredible light flooding my darkness. I held on to that light. I held on to Jesus. So today’s post is going to be a little different. Today’s post I glorify God. I’m not going to dwell on the bad. There’s enough of that in the world today. I want to dwell on all the good. His goodness lasts forever. His mercies are new every morning. He is always faithful. His love is infinite. His comfort is constant. His peace truly passes understanding. Maybe you’re wondering when there will ever be a breakthrough, or when that peace and comfort will come. That’s why our testimonies are so important. People need your story. Satan wants to keep us in the dark. He wants us defeated. He wants us to lose our hope and give up. He wants us to forget about God and all His promises and answered prayers. He wants us to forget that God has saved our wretched soul from hell with the incredible, unfathomable gift of His Son Jesus. And when we’re in the middle of that pain, He wants us to feel alone. You are not alone dear friend. Jesus is standing in the middle with you. Let’s remind the hurting and broken world today what God has done for us. Let’s be like the disciple John who said “This is the disciple which testifieth of these things, and wrote these things: and we know that his testimony is true. And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen.” John 21:24-25 Let’s be lights in the darkness today. Let’s share God’s glory by sharing our testimonies. How God gave us hope. How He answered prayer. How He worked miracles. How He helped us overcome. How He placed scripture in our heart and people in our path. Psalm 107:2 tells us~ Let the redeemed of the Lord say so… Let’s “say so!” Let’s praise our amazing Savior together~ And give each other something to hold on to. HOPE SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 4:6&7 Lamentations 3:19-26 Isaiah 61:3, 25:1, 41:10&13, 43:2 Psalm 102:18, 71:14-21, 42:4&5 I Chronicles 23:30 Deuteronomy 10:21 I Peter 1:7 Psalms 5:11, 9:1&2, 27:1&3, 13&14, 28:7, 29:2, 26:7, 30:5, 10-12, 34:3&4, 35:18&28, 40:3, 45:17, 50:23, 52:9, 63:3&4, 6&7, 107:6-9, 13-15, 109:26&27, 30, 119:164, 150:6 Psalm 139 Psalm 145
2/16/2024
It’s Not Okay“I’m so sorry.”
“God is in control.” “Give it to Him.” “He has a plan.” “It’s going to be okay.” “God will give you the peace that passes understanding.”… But what if He doesn’t?? These are often the words of friends and loved ones when someone is going through trauma. They’re meant to comfort, but sometimes they don’t. What if your soul is completely wrecked? You’ve prayed. You’ve cried. You’ve begged, you’ve asked. But God remains silent. The pain does not dissipate. This week my husband and I were babysitting our four grandsons. The 2 year old tried to copy his older brother and ended up falling off of a bench. We knew immediately that something was very wrong. His parents were almost 2 hours from home, so we had to get permission to take him to the hospital. It broke my heart. His little body was hurting and he didn’t understand. Throughout the process of exams and X-rays and more exams and more X-rays, his big blue eyes looked lost. He was scared and crying. And over and over his grandpa and the doctors and the nurses sweetly repeated “it’s okay”. I even said it. But it wasn’t okay. Nothing he was going through felt okay. He only wanted to be held. He asked for his daddy, but even after His daddy came home and held him, he cried~because the pain did not go away. He had a broken collarbone and bruised ribs. I kept replaying it in my mind. How many times had we tried to reassure him that “it was okay”. Clearly it wasn’t okay. It was just our way of trying to soothe him. And how often do we as Christian’s do this with others when they are going through their own pain and heartache. When the tears won’t stop and they don’t understand why. We try to comfort with our words, but our words don’t give them the answers they’re seeking. It reminded me of the story of Job in the Bible, and all the heartache he went through. His friends had good intentions in the beginning, they truly desired to comfort him~they even cried with him. But in the end, they didn’t have the answers. Their words didn’t help because they weren’t the words that Job needed, they were the words of those lacking empathy. My grandson had to go through a lot of pain during his exams and X-rays. It was heart wrenching. The crazy thing is, there is no help for a broken collarbone. We do what we can to ease the pain. We are gentle with him, we console, we pray, but ultimately there is no answer. And so we try to give him the comfort he longs for. If you have a friend or loved one going through heartache of their own, you might not have an answer for them either. We can try to give hope. We can encourage with God’s word. We can say it’s going to be okay, but ultimately we can’t fix it or make it better. Only God can. Comfort comes in many forms. Everyone’s view of comfort is different. Ask God for wisdom and discernment when seeking to comfort, but more importantly ask Him to give you compassion and empathy for that particular person. Not what YOU would desire, but what THEY need. Sometimes it’s best just to love on them. Pray for them. Listen to them. Be there with them and cry with them. Don’t try to have all the answers. And if you are going though that pain yourself, be raw with God, just like Job was. There is nothing wrong with just pouring your heart out to Him. Letting the tears flow. Telling Him you don’t understand. Then crying some more. There’s such a lesson to be learned through the child like faith of a toddler. Isaiah doesn’t know how long he has to endure this pain. He doesn’t know why he is hurting, nor does he demand answers from his daddy. Day after day he crawls up onto his daddy’s lap, simply seeking comfort. He cries unashamedly. His daddy can’t take the pain away, but baby Isaiah trusts him fully to care for him as he heals, and ease the pain with his presence. And that’s exactly what we need to do in the middle of our own pain. Despite not having answers. Despite the heart ache, don’t give up hope… Day after day, climb up into your heavenly Daddy’s lap and trust him fully through the tears. Of this I am sure~ your healing will come. Romans 8:28 SCRIPTURE READING: James 5:11 1 Peter 1:6-9 1 Peter 5:7 Psalm 103:13-14 Psalm 91:4-5, 11-12, 14-15 Job 10:15 Job 16:2 , 4-5, 20-21 Job 1:22 Job 42:10 Job 13:15 1 Thessalonians 4:9 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
2/9/2024
God’s Love Versus My LoveMy love for God does not determine His love for me, and your love for God doesn’t determine His love for you.
I am so thankful He reminded me of that fact again this morning, because I had convinced myself that~ I don’t love God. Why? Because some days I serve out of worry about what others will think of me, and not out of love. I do things just so I’ll be positively perceived, then label myself a “people pleaser”. Because some days I don’t keep His commandments, or I feel like I am hanging on by a thread and I don’t want to be strong in the Lord. Some days I don’t even want go out into the world and share His love. Yesterday was one of those days. Yesterday I was on a rollercoaster of emotions. I convinced myself I must not love God because my actions proved otherwise. ◦ If you say you have no sin, you’re a liar. ◦ Be not weary in well doing. ◦ If you do it for the least, you do it for Me. ◦ The greatest of these is love. ◦ If you love me, keep my commandments. ✓ Fail. Fail. Fail. But then God reminded me of something very important. I am human. I may have the bad days, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love Him. And it never, ever means that He doesn’t love me. Human love does not compare to God’s love, because we aren’t perfect. Too often I treat the ones I am supposed to love the most in this world, the worst. I can’t believe I am admitting this, but I have actually said the words “I hate you” to my husband in the heat of an argument. He’s my person. My best friend. My soul mate. But I am human, and sometimes my emotions get the best of me. I convince myself he doesn’t love me. I want to stay angry. I want to wallow, sulk, and avoid. But my heart knows that despite these feelings, I love him more than life itself. And so, we apologize. We admit we were wrong. We reconcile. We spend time together and we focus on each other. When our relationship is the priority, the bad emotions dissipate. I know I am loved. Yesterday as I was feeling my worst, God did something pretty amazing. He sent me a box of chocolates in the mail. If you know me, you know I love chocolate. He put that thought into a sweet friend’s heart, and she sent them. In all His amazing love and understanding, God knew the exact moment I would need to receive her card and gift. That reminder that I am loved by Him. When I opened it, I laughed through the tears. God’s love is never determined by our works, our accomplishments or our failures. God is love. Period. Nothing can separate us from that love. What a God we have. If you’ve ever been on an emotional rollercoaster like me and feel you have failed God, maybe it’s time to shut the world out and just be in His presence. Admit your feelings to Him. Apologize if necessary. Reconcile. Focus on God and make that relationship the priority. Feel His amazing love wrapped around you as you spend time with Him, and be reminded~ ✓ He will never leave you or forsake you. ✓ He understands our humanness. ✓ His love is not dependent on ours. ✓ Nothing will separate us from His love. ✓ You are loved with an everlasting love. ✓ We love because He first loved us. When I say to Jesus~”Help me to love you better.” When I ask the Holy Spirit to increase that love. When I take the time to be with God, really be with Him, talking to Him, listening to Him, reading His word~ that amazing love dissipates all negative emotions. I know beyond a doubt that God loves me and in turn, I want to share that love with everyone. Not out of duty. Not to be perceived in a positive way, but because the posture of my heart changes. My heart recognizes how deeply I am loved. Because God is love. Period. SCRIPTURE READING: 1 John 1:8, Galatians 6:9-10, Matthew 25:40, 1 Corinthians 13:13, John 14:15, Hebrews 13:5b, Psalm 78:37-39, Hebrews 4:15-16, Romans 8:35, 37-39, Jeremiah 31:3, 1 John 4:7, 10-11, 16, 19, Ephesians 3:16-19
2/2/2024
Love Like JesusMy sister in law was only 35 years old when she passed away in 2003 from complications in child birth. Many of you know the story. She died 6 days after giving birth to her 6th child. It broke me. My heart yearned to comfort her children, and take care of her baby. Just a few months later my own mother unexpectedly passed away, and my heart yearned for the comfort that only she could give. Comfort I had grown to lean on, from the one person who was now gone forever.
Wednesday was the anniversary of my sister in laws home going. It also happened to be the anniversary of another mother’s home going. The mama of a dear friend of mine. Two mothers who went home to heaven, and left children behind. Young and old. It really made me think~no matter the time that is passed or how old we are, the day our mama leaves us will always be hard. I thought about the posts I made last week. Posts about mamas, and the comments I received. Some women shared that they have never experienced that love and comfort that I spoke of. And I thought about my own children. Some are going through a very difficult time right now. As I was praying for them late one night, I was aware of the fact that one day I will be gone, and that “mama”comfort will be gone with me. The comfort in praying without ceasing, in encouraging and listening. The comfort in sharing laughter, hugs and tears. The comfort of loving unconditionally and sacrificing without limit. The comfort I will always try to give, because I am their mom. What happens when we lose that? It is a grief that cannot be put into words, because our hearts know~ no one loves you like your mom. And what if we never had that to begin with? It is an emptiness that can’t be explained. This week I shared another post, one that reminded us not to take for granted those who speak life into us, and encourage us. They are a gift from God. And that’s what motivated me to challenge you today. We live in a world full of hurting people. Health and financial burdens seem hopeless. Marriages and wayward children weigh heavy. The loss of a spouse or child leaves devastation, and grieving children~all those who have lost their mother, or never experienced a mother’s love to begin with, feel utterly alone. Who will step up and comfort them? Who will speak life into them? Who will encourage them? Who will fill that emptiness and be that gift from God to a broken soul? Our God is the God of all comfort, and we are instructed in His word to love as He does. When life is going good, and even when life is filled with pain~it’s easy to give that much for our children, but it isn’t always easy to give that much to another. To pray without ceasing. To encourage and uplift. To always be there for someone. To talk and cry and to love unconditionally. That’s sacrifice. That’s being Christ-like. I long to know that someone will be that for my children after I am gone. And with that thought I am convicted that I also need to be that for others while I am here, when life is good and even when life is painful. Not because I am a mother, and not because I had a wonderful mother, but because I have a good and wonderful Father. The beautiful fact is this. You don’t have to be a mother to love and comfort and encourage others like God does and you don’t have to have a personal experience of having that comfort that only a mother can give. You just have to have God. Love. Love like God. What a gift He has given us. A precious gift we ALL need to share. SCRIPTURE READING 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Psalm 34:18 Hebrews 12:12 Philippians 2:4 Ephesians 4:32 John 13:34-35 1 John 3:17-18 Matthew 25:37-40 Galatians 5:13-14 Galatians 6:2, 10 Colossians 3:12 1 Thessalonians 5:11 Proverbs 12:25 1 Peter 4:8-10 Isaiah 66:13
1/26/2024
Your Child’s In BetweenYOUR CHILD’S “IN BETWEEN”.
When I recall my early childhood, I wish that I could adequately express all the beautiful emotions and joy I feel, then wrap up those words and give that gift to all of you. I feel the same emotions and joy when I recall raising my own children. Words cannot describe it. Every moment wasn’t perfect. A lot of being a mama was messy, but all of it was beautiful. And it still is. I read a verse this week that really spoke to my heart. “As one whom his mother comforts, so will I comfort you.” Isaiah 66:13. It stopped me in my tracks. God was comparing the comfort He gives to that of a mother’s. He didn’t say His comfort was greater, He said it was just like a mother’s. That is pretty profound. What a significant role a mama plays in the lives of her children. Something a child doesn’t truly understand until they are in that role themselves. When I was little, I vividly remember wanting to grow up and be just like my mom. To me, she was perfect in every way. Even now, at 58 when I think about my childhood, my memories are filled with joy and comfort and love. It was a precious piece of my life. After I became a mom, I realized what a precious time it was for my mom as well. When I got a little older, I don’t ever remember a time that I didn’t want my mom to be around, or that I felt embarrassed by her presence. I also never remember my thoughts voicing the opinion that I hated her. But then, I became a senior in high school and that relationship changed. I most definitely was NOT living for the Lord. I did some things I’m not proud of. My mom would try to talk to me, but all I remember thinking was~ “She just doesn’t understand.” I’m sure the things I did wouldn’t seem significant to the outside world, but inside I knew my heart was dangerously far from God. I wanted to run away. I wanted to lock myself in my room. I wanted to be far away from my mom. That mama that I wanted to grow up to be. That mama who filled my childhood with joy and comfort and love. It was a phase where I felt completely misunderstood. When my own teenagers became seniors in high school, I realized how very much my mom truly understood, and how very much she loved me. With every year that passed, there was a new phase of motherhood where realizations hit me. Realizations that my own mother had gone through the same things with me. Sadly I am still realizing, but it’s too late to tell her that now I understand. My mom has been gone for 20 years. At times I cannot even wrap my head around that fact. 20 years of realizations that could not be rectified. I’m not going to pretend that everything between us was perfect when she passed away. We still had our issues, but my understanding of many of those issues has changed with every passing year. And today, even at 58 I long for that comfort that only my mom could give. We sow and we reap and we go through the “in between” with our children, praying that one day they will get it. One day they will understand. My heart aches for the mama who is going through that “in between”. My heart aches for the child who doesn’t realize and may not realize until their mama is gone. How can we avoid the “in between” our children go through? From the awe and love they have, to disrespect and disregard, and then finally~the understanding. It’s so hard. Sometimes that “in between” can take years. And our mama hearts break. How can this be prevented? Sadly, sometimes it can’t. Sadly we can raise our children to the best of our abilities, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We can teach them to love Jesus with their everything. We can pray with them, lead by example, take them to church and yet somehow satan’s lies become bigger than a mama’s love and steal that child like innocence away. What’s left for a mama to do? What’s left when we feel like we’ve lost them? What’s left when they scream at us that we just “don’t understand”, and our hearts are crying to tell them that they are the ones who don’t understand? What’s left when we feel like we need a miracle? Jesus. Jesus is that miracle. And so, we pour our hearts out to Him and we don’t stop. I am living proof of prayer through the “in between”. My husband is living proof of prayer through the “in between”. My children are living proof of prayer through the “in between”. No matter how long it has been, no matter how long it takes, no matter how old they are, I am here to tell you mama~ don’t give up hope. Hope in the Holy Spirit to grab a hold of your child’s heart and hand, and lead them out of the “in between” and back to that tiny part of their child like heart. Back to you. Back to God. God’s comfort and love are more powerful than satan’s lies. Your comfort and love are more powerful than satan’s lies. He may fool for the moment, but their hearts will eventually remember and return. They will remember your prayers. They will remember your love. They will remember your comfort. The comfort that compares to God’s. Hold on to that truth, because that truth is power. SCRIPTURE READING: Ephesians 4:14-15 Ephesians 6:1-4 Philippians 4:6-7 Proverbs 22:6 Deuteronomy 6:5-7 1 Thessalonians 5:14 1 Thessalonians 5:17 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Isaiah 66:13
1/19/2024
Feed Your SoulI love chocolate.
Delicious, smooth, velvety, melt in your mouth, milk chocolate. But, I have some food issues, along with physical issues. I’m allergic to gluten (like, really allergic, not some dietary fad) and I have a very high intolerance to lactose, casein and eggs. I also have arthritis and heartburn. But…I LOVE chocolate. And milk chocolate is made with lactose. Chocolate, high on the list of what NOT to eat if you have arthritis or heartburn. And yet, that Hershey’s kiss really, really wants to kiss me. I’m that girl that can eat a pound of fudge and when someone else says it’s too sweet for them, I respond: “I’ll eat yours too.” And so, I found a bag of Hershey’s kisses on my lap quite often during the holidays. I’ll be good I told myself. I’ll only eat one. Pretty soon I was figuring out in my head how many kisses would equal a candy bar (probably 8? Maybe 10 🫣), because it’s only ONE candy bar, right? That’s not bad. Why do I torture myself? It only takes 1 ladies. And I’m not talking about chocolate. 1 moment of envy. 1 moment of bitterness. 1 lie Satan whispers in our ear. 1 lie we tell ourselves, or others. 1 look. 1 lofty moment. I day missed praying. Or reading our Bible. 1 word. 1 thought. 1 wrong direction. It only took 1 moment in the garden of Eden to change the course of all humanity, and it can take only 1 moment to change your life forever. Because 1 thing can spiral, until you’re trying to figure out how many “things” are okay before it adds up to “really bad”. Before you eat that whole bag of kisses and convince yourself it’s not that much. Guard your thoughts and minds ladies. Guard your eyes. Guard your hearts. Guard your homes. Even the strongest Christian can falter in 1 moment of weakness. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I am so weak when it comes to chocolate, that I just can’t have it in my house. I will eat it all. And too often I am the same way in my spiritual life. One moment of giving in can lead to chaos if my heart’s home is not guarded with God’s word and prayer. Even though it felt good to eat all those kisses in the moment, ultimately it made me feel very, very bad. It’s going to take me a while to get back on track after the Hershey’s fiasco. My body doesn’t bounce back like it used to. The good news is, today is a new day. I can start again and do what’s right for my messed up, allergy ridden self. I can keep putting the good stuff in. The nutritious stuff. Before long I know I will find myself asking why I do such stupid things, when I feel so much better after NOT doing them. And that’s the good news of the gospel. It doesn’t end with the bad. No matter what we’ve done, whether it’s one thing or whether it’s spiraled into many~God’s grace is greater. His mercy is more. His love is infinite. When Jesus cried “It is finished” on the cross of Calvary, that was the end. And if we have asked Him to be our Savior, it’s our beginning. The beginning of a brand new life. A life filled with new beginnings. Because God knew we would need them. I know I do. I’m so glad His mercies are new every morning. Every minute. And they are for you too ladies, right now as you read this. Don’t allow that 1 thing. Guard your heart. A great place to start is to get in God’s word and hide it in your heart. Read it. Memorize it. And feed your soul. Don’t believe the lie that you can handle it, whatever that 1 thing is. I know I can’t. I can’t even stick to one Hershey’s kiss, let alone fight against the forces of sin. So, grab hold of God’s mercy, grace, love and power~ And feed your soul. SCRIPTURE READING: Proverbs 4:20-23, 25-26 Psalm 139:23-24 Psalm 147:11 Psalm 94:18-19 Psalm 86:3, 5, 13, 15 Psalm 31:7 Psalm 66:20 Psalm 103:8-14 Psalm 136 Proverbs 28:13 Hebrews 4:16 Titus 3:5-8 1 Peter 1:3-9 Isaiah 55:6-7 Lamentations 3:22-23 1 John 2:15-17 Galatians 5:16-17 Proverbs 6:16-23 James 3:14-17 Proverbs 16:3 Romans 12:2 Hebrews 4:12 Ephesians 3:20-21
1/12/2024
An Ache In Your SoulI didn’t think I was going to write a post this week because,
quite honestly~I didn’t want to. I recognized the lack of motivation for what it was, even though I tried to push it aside. After posting two articles on living life to the fullest, somehow melancholy got the best of me. The fact that I’m a homebody didn’t help. I absolutely LOVE to stay home and I would never get tired of it. Give me a snow storm, a cozy fire and a hot cup of coffee, and I’m a happy girl. But when I want to shut the world out and shut myself in, when I recognized that all I wanted to do was sit in front of that fire with my coffee and not have to think about or do anything, I knew something had to change. The problem was, I didn’t want to change. I knew why I was unmotivated and melancholy. Because I’m tired. And because there was an ache in my soul. I have mentioned this before, but I’m that girl that just pushes her sad feelings down. I keep pushing and pushing until they reach my toes, because I don’t want to be unhappy. And I definitely didn’t want to be unhappy at Christmas. So, I went to bed late, I got up early. I stayed busy. I pushed the thoughts aside. I pretended. And it was exhausting. I was missing my friend, and my heart hurt deeply for her husband and daughter. Memories of going through that with my own dad came crashing in on me. Christmas memories surrounded me, and made me miss my parents even more. The ache of sadness wanted to push at me constantly, so instead I pushed it away~ and I kept pushing. And yesterday I realized I needed a reality check. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that I didn’t want to write a blog post for Saturday, but the little bit of OCD I have was eating away at me. I have never missed writing a post since I started this page. I couldn’t miss now. And that’s what God used. He uses everything, right down to the tiniest detail to get our attention. God knew I needed rest. I am weak. I’ve been here before and He knows I’ll probably be here again and again. In all His beautiful understanding and infinite mercy, God gave me that time to rest in my own way, and then He told me it was time to get myself up, brush myself off and get back in the fight. God works in the most amazing ways. Over the holidays I had neglected to read devotionals sent to my email. Yesterday as I sat in front of my fire, I decided to read them. I’m sad to admit that it wasn’t because I was getting myself back up and brushing myself off. There was nothing spiritual about it. Once again, it was because of that little piece of OCD in my brain. I wanted to clean up my emails. Simple, regrettable fact. And once again, that’s what God used. A paragraph jumped off the page at me with the words from my friend Linda~ “Why do I write? Is it for love of my Savior or merely because I enjoy it? Is it to bring Him glory and to magnify Him because I'm so in love with Him? That's what He wants. That's what He deserves. That's how He loves me.” I love to write. There’s nothing wrong with that fact, but this week, in my melancholy state, that was my only motivation. Before I read her words, I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to post anything this week. My heart kept telling me there was nothing worthy to give. How could I impart any spiritual wisdom to anyone when I didn’t feel any motivation whatsoever? When I read her words, I realized~ God is my motivation. Jesus is my worth. Not my love for writing, my love for Him and in turn~ for all of you. There isn’t a whole lot of spiritual insight here. Me, spilling my heart out. Just a friend talking to her friends. Sometimes it doesn’t take profound words for God to move. Sometimes it just takes raw honesty and a heart that listens and whispers “I understand. I’ve been there. I love you and I’m praying for you”. Words that tell you that whatever you are going through, you aren’t alone. Words to remind you that God will never leave you, that He will always be there waiting for exactly the right time to say~ “Okay my daughter, it’s time to pick yourself up, brush yourself off and get back in the fight. Let’s do this. Together.” SCRIPTURE READING: Matthew 22:37-3 2 Corinthians 4:6-9 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 1 Peter 5:10-11
1/5/2024
How To LiveLast week, I told you about my friend. My friend whose husband had been diagnosed with an illness and given 3 years to live. My friend who had joy, and encouraged me despite her darkness. My friend who told me to live every day to the fullest~ one day at a time.
My friend who unexpectedly got her own diagnosis a month later. My friend who is now home with Jesus and whose husband is now a widower. My friend who taught me how to die. I have stood at the side of many death beds in the last 25 years. Too many. Each time there was a glimmer of hope that a miracle would come and each time, the miracle we were asking for did not come. When death lingered at the door, many were too weak to speak to me. Many were on medication to ease pain, and many just slept. Because there was always that measure of hope for recovery, I never truly had an opportunity to talk candidly with any of them about their imminent departure from this world. Until now. So many of my fellow Christian’s have shown me how to live. How to be lights for Christ in a dark world. How to overcome heartache and sorrow and live in the joy of the Lord, but no one really teaches you how to die because no one truly knows how they will react until they are put in that situation. It’s a morbid thought. No one wants to think about death at the beginning of a brand new year, but death is no respecter of time or person. And therein lies the importance of choosing to use our time wisely~living each day for the glory of God~ because none of us know when our appointment with death is. My friend certainly didn’t. Romans 8 tells us that our bodies are already dead because of sin. If we have accepted God’s gift of salvation, our spirits are alive because of Christ. Not just here on earth, but for eternity. What a season to grasp this lesson. A season of new beginnings, of hope, of life eternal. Because without the lowly birth in a manger there would be no death on a cross, and there would be no hope for us as we face death and eternity. My friend was on her death bed. She had bypassed treatment and although there was some pain, she was coherent. Her focus was on her Savior, on His promises and His goodness in her life. She didn’t speak of fear or uncertainty. She was smiling and laughing, albeit incredibly weak~ she was talking about the excitement of seeing Jesus. She was a light in the middle of so much darkness. And she probably never knew what an impact this had on me, until she was in glory. I asked her to give Jesus a hug for me when she saw Him. I will miss her so very much, and yet I have a peace about her home going. A comfort. Because of how she chose to live her days, she was not afraid when her days came to an end. I thought she taught me how to die. Until now. She didn’t just teach me how to die after all. She taught me how to live. What will you and I teach others in 2024? SCRIPTURE READING: Romans 8:10 Isaiah 46:4, 9-10 Isaiah 45:22 Romans 8:18, 22-28, 31-32, Romans 8:35, 37-39 Psalm 71:3, 5, 8-9, 14-21, 23-24 Psalm 73:23-26, 28 John 14:1-3 2 Corinthians 4:14-18 1 Corinthians 2:9 Philippians 3:20-21 Philippians 4:8 Colossians 3:16-17 1 Timothy 4:12 Matthew 5:16
12/29/2023
Today Doesn’t Have To Be A Bad DayOf all the gifts we will receive this season, the gift of time is one that God gives all of us equally. 24 hours in a day, no matter who you are.
When I was young and December came around, it felt like the weeks would just drag by. I couldn’t wait for Christmas vacation. I couldn’t wait for Christmas. Yet time seemed to be at a standstill to my little heart. And then suddenly, time became fleeting. Each year went faster than the last. I barely caught my breath after Thanksgiving and it was Christmas. I wanted time to slow down. I wanted to savor the beauty of the season, and yet even as I write, the season has come to an end. Christmas has come and gone. The gift of time is unique to everyone. Some want it to slow down. Some want it to go faster. Some of us want more. The beauty in such a gift is that it is made for everyone, yet specific to each individual. We decide how we view it, and what we do with it. Last summer, a precious friend’s husband had been diagnosed with an illness and given only 3 years to live. I asked how she managed to still have joy, despite such a cloud hanging over her. She told me that she was focusing on each day and living it to the fullest. One day at a time. Some of us long for the “good old days”, not realizing that today could be our very best day. Some of us fear the old fable~ Father Time, not realizing that our Heavenly Father holds time in the palm of His hand. In both cases we are so focused on the past, or the future, that we miss the “right now”. How can we live life to the fullest every day? In the heartbreaking, in the unknown, in the mundane? Despite that diagnosis, financial despair, loss or loneliness? Not by packing it full of things to do. Not by grand gestures or material gains, but by sitting in the stillness with Jesus. While I sit with Him, my life becomes like a snow globe. A snow globe in the palm of God’s hand. It’s contained, and yet it is moving, and I get to view all its beauty floating around me. Too often I find myself looking for happiness in things, and people, and activities. I end up watching the days and moments fly by, because I’m grasping at the big, while missing all the small. Stopping to “smell the roses”. Laughing, and then laughing some more. Singing at the top of our lungs. Telling our loved ones how very much we love them, and just how incredible they are. Noticing all the blessings all around, in the every day. Playing in the snow, or squishing our toes in the sand. Staring at the stars, and feeling the presence and the awe of our God. Holding His words in our hands, and realizing they are everything. Telling everyone we can about the hope and joy that lives inside us. Looking up in the stillness with Jesus, and noticing all the snowflakes of blessings falling down upon us. Before 2023 ends, determine in your heart to live every day of 2024 to the fullest. Pack every minute of every 24 hours God gives you full of His goodness and glory. You determine your time and what you make of it. God gives it equally to us all. You can decide that today is going to be a good day. Don’t focus on the bad, shake up that snow globe and focus on all the good. Focus on God. Use the time He gives you to thank Him for all that goodness. For every gift of the present. One day at a time. SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 31:15 Psalm 90 Colossians 4:5 James 4:14 Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
12/22/2023
Need A Free Gift Idea?Countless gifts have been given and received within the last month. In just two days, people everywhere~in every walk of life~will be opening even more.
I could write the typical message about the greatest gift given, but I think you already know Who that is. Instead, I want to share some hope this Christmas. It’s been a tough month here. So much heartache within 30 days. A month that is supposed to be the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. I have longed to make everything better for everyone. Somehow, in my humanity I thought that if I could just find that one perfect gift to lift a hurting heart, things would be better for that person. Tonight I realized they wouldn’t. My presents would always come up short. Gifts might make the recipient smile and bring momentary happiness, but minutes later reality will hit again. We can’t give away true joy. But we can give away hope. It’s free. It costs us nothing but love. Not our human love, but the love of our Savior Who gave Himself for us. The love of the Christ Child born on Christmas. And that my friend, is the most important gift. No one’s life is hopeless, as long as they have Christ. So today and tomorrow and on Christmas Day, give the gift of hope. What is hope? I once read that the word “hope” never carries even the connotation of uncertainty in scripture. Every aspect of God's word gives us hope, hope that we can cling to. Hope that is our reality. Not the hope that comes from material things, or even people. The hope that is eternal. The hope of a Savior who always forgives. The gift of salvation and grace. The hope of mercies new every morning. The gift of love that never ceases. The hope that nothing can take that love away. The gift of peace that passes understanding. The hope of a Friend who sticks closer than a brother. The gift in knowing He will never leave or forsake us. The hope of heaven, our eternal home for those who believe. The gift our Savior gave us when He died for our sins. The hope that was born in a manger. Yes it’s been a tough month. Heartache upon heartache, but not heartache without hope. There is no greater gift. A hope to hold on to. A hope to share. Today I give you that gift, and I ask that you share it as well. Can you imagine if everyone could open that beautiful gift this Christmas? Let’s make that our resolution before the New year even hits. The gift of hope. The hope that was born in a manger. SCRIPTURE READING: Hebrews 11:1 I Corinthians 15:19-20 Psalm 42:11 Psalm 119:114 Colossians 1:27 Romans 5:1-2, 5 Romans 8:24-25 Romans 12:12 Romans 15:4, 13 Titus 3:4-7 1 John 1:9 Ephesians 1:7 Ephesians 2:8-9 Romans 6:23 1 John 4:9-10, 15-16 Lamentations 3:22-24 Romans 8:38-39 Philippians 4:7 Proverbs 18:24 Hebrews 13:5 Romans 5:5-8 John 3:16 John 10:28
12/15/2023
My Messy HeartIf you’ve been around my page for any time at all, you know I wear my heart on my sleeve. At times I’m a big cry baby, fighting back the tears. When I’m happy. Tears. When I’m hurt, tears. When I’m filled with compassion for all the hurting hearts at Christmas. Tears. That’s me. Angry tears. Sad tears. Laughing tears. Messy tears. Quite often it’s the messy tears that get me. I feel shame or embarrassment for the messy tears.
And that led me to these words… Last Sunday morning our church congregation sang the words to that sweet lullaby~ “Away In A Manger”. As I played the piano, I thought about the words that were sung, and pondered on it all week. “The little Lord Jesus, no crying He makes.”… As I thought about the Glory of all mankind being born, the perfect Son of God, I wondered if the words to that sweet lullaby held true. I came to the conclusion that little baby Jesus probably cried. And as He grew, I’m sure He probably cried when He was sad. He probably cried when He was hurt. He probably cried when He had compassion on others… Jesus was 100% God, and 100% human. Scripture doesn’t tell us much about his infancy and youth, but it does tell us that He wept. That He was moved with compassion. That He was human. Just like us, except for one major fact. The fact that changed the course of history, and the eternal destination of all mankind. He was sinless. Our sinless sacrifice. As much as we long for a beautiful manger scene to display in our minds eye, I am sure it was filthy, messy and very far from perfect. But Jesus entered into that mess and the moment He entered in~ He delivered us all. And in all His beauty and glory, He stooped down and picked us all up and showed us that He understood~ and continues to understand~ what it is to be human. With all our messes. With all our emotions. The Old Testament is full of stories of women just like you and me. Women who seemed to mess things up time and time again, yet women God used for His glory. Women God has continued to use to help encourage us today. Although God used several women in the New Testament as well, not as much detail is given. I wonder if it’s because the Old Testament concludes, and Glory steps in. Jesus becomes our focus. Rituals cease. Mankind’s righteousness was as filthy rags. Isaiah 64:6. The laws of the Old Testament made nothing perfect, but the bringing in of a better Hope did. Hebrews 7:19. Jesus is born. He becomes a tiny infant. His little cries echo through the night, and into our hearts. And 33 years later, as He takes on the sins of all mankind on the cross, His cries echo again. “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” I am so thankful that Jesus understands. That He was human. That He wept. That He felt all the feelings that I feel. I’m so thankful that God so loved the world. I’m so thankful for His words that encourage us that we can be used of Him, with all our imperfections and messes~ all because of Jesus. Jesus could have been born anywhere, but He chose a messy manger. Just like He chose my messy heart. And that reminds me of the words to another familiar hymn~ “Have You Any Room For Jesus?” Won’t you invite Jesus into your mess today? Won’t you ask Him to be your Savior? There is no one that loves you more than He does. No one that went to such lengths for that love. No one that can forgive and give you new life. What a gift. And if you have received that gift, let me remind you of this~ There is no one that understands like Jesus. When my heart is broken and the tears flow, I can hear His tiny cry in the manger. When sadness engulfs me, I remember He is filled with compassion for me, and when I feel unworthy, I hear His cry that rang out through all eternity~”Father forgive them.” What beautiful thoughts to ponder this Christmas season. Let the messy tears flow. Jesus keeps them all in His bottle. One day He will wipe them all away, and the joy of Christmas will be our everlasting reality. SCRIPTURE READING: Isaiah 53:2-6 Isaiah 54:10 Isaiah 55:6-7 Hebrews 4:15-16 Romans 10:2-4, 9-11, 13 Isaiah 50:10 Psalm 72:12-13 John 1:14 Hebrews 2:17-18 John 11:33, 35-36 Philippians 2:5-11 Psalm 56:8 Psalm 126:5 Revelation 7:17 Revelation 21:4
12/8/2023
Glimpses Of GloryGuest post by my son Michael Goforth
Nostalgia — Have you ever felt it? That odd mixture of joy and sadness that floods your soul as you encounter something from yesteryear. An old song, a familiar smell, a worn out picture... The dictionary defines nostalgia as “a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past.” And there’s nothing quite like the Christmas season for bringing out these sentimental longings. We’re happy for that Christmas memory, but we’re simultaneously sad because it’s over. And as we try to sort through it all, we are left with these feelings that we’re not sure what to do with. What is going on here? And what are we to do with these longings? To answer these questions, we need to travel back to a place called Eden and consider how our story began. In Genesis 2:7-8 we read, “then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed.” If you continue reading, you’ll find that Eden was so much more than just a garden. It was a garden paradise, with everything you could want for joy and flourishing. And shortly after creating man, God made the woman. And he graciously gave them Eden as the place they could call home. A sanctuary for them to rest and rejoice in God and his gifts. Tragically, this is not how the story ends. Adam and Eve decided that all of this was still not enough, and they rebelled against God. This ushered sin, death, and brokenness into the world. And it resulted in their removal from Eden. Our first parents were officially exiles, banned from the garden sanctuary that they once called home. And ever since then, their descendants, with the rest of creation, have been longing for Eden (Rom 8:18-24). This is why all of us experience a homesickness of the soul. The world we live in is broken and sin-cursed. And the feelings of longing and nostalgia are echoes of a place we formerly called home. Now we wander through this life as exiles, often participating in the same rebellion of Adam and Eve, looking everywhere but God for fulfillment and satisfaction. So, how did God respond to all of this rebellion and brokenness? He responded with Christmas. He took on flesh and dwelt among us. The infinite God became an infant. Jesus, the Creator and Sustainer of all things, stepped into this sin-cursed world, to fix the brokenness that we caused. He lived the perfect life we never could and died the death that we should have died. He then rose again triumphantly to conquer sin, death, and hell forever. And he did all of it, “that he might bring us to God” (1 Pet. 3:18). The best part about Christmas is that it’s not over yet. Jesus has promised to come again. That he might rescue our homesick souls and bring us to the only real place that we can call home. A new heaven and a new earth with no more sin, no more sorrow, no more pain, no more brokenness, and no more death. A place of glory where all those who believe can live with God and enjoy Him forever. What if those feelings of nostalgia weren’t meant to make you long for the past? What if they were meant to make you long for the future? Personally, I believe this season, with its odd mixture of hope and longing, joy and sadness, beauty and brokenness—was all meant to be a glimpse of the glory that is to come. The glory that we know will come—because of Christmas. In the coming weeks, we’ll celebrate the sparkling lights, sing along to the beautiful music, marvel at the freshly fallen snow, embrace the warmth of gathering with our favorite people, and so much more. But if you are a Christian, these things are only a foretaste of your future. As C.S. Lewis explained, these things “are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited.” In other words, these things are only glimpses of the glory to come. One day, we will truly be home for the holidays, and oh what a glorious homecoming that will be.
12/1/2023
God With UsI’m rushing around making the lists, baking the cookies, wrapping the presents, decorating the tree, shopping for gifts, listening to the carols~
And all the while He sits there watching. I don’t stop to talk to Him. Even though He is right there, in the room with me. If I could physically see Him, I would not ignore him. I would fall on my knees. I would stop and talk to Him, and cry with Him, and laugh with Him. I would tell Him how much I miss my loved ones, how excited I am for new grand babies… and how burdened I am for so many of you. He would put His arms around me, and peace would wash over me. I would sing the carols with Him. He would help me decorate the tree, and finish the shopping, and baking, and wrapping and it would be so fun. His presence would fill the room with warmth and light, laughter and joy, and I would fight to keep the tears of happiness from spilling down my cheeks. Every burden lifted. Every tear wiped away. Emmanuel. God with us. And we would sit by the fire at the end of the day and reminisce about memories old, and memories yet to be made. I would talk and talk, and He would quietly listen. And after it all, He would tell me how very much He loves me. I would fall asleep there in His presence, with complete peace~ knowing that everything was right with the world. Why isn’t this our reality? This Christmas let’s change that. Because it can be our reality~ if we so choose. He sits there watching, yet we don’t stop to talk to Him. He is in every room with us as we do every task, as we fret and stress to get it all done. He whispers to our very hearts this Christmas~ Come, give me every burden and I will give you rest. Every tear wiped away. Where warmth and light, laughter and joy fills every room, And all is right with the world. Emmanuel. God with us. “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: In thy presence is fulness of joy; At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.” Psalm 16:11
11/24/2023
Hope For A Weary WorldToday I want to give you hope.
I know we live in a weary world. Holidays without our loved ones can be particularly sad. So can birthdays. Birthdays have always been very special to me, all because of my mom. When I was little~apart from Christmas~she made every birthday the best day of the year. Even as an adult, she knew how to make it special. My mom went home to heaven on November 3, 2003, one week before my birthday. My dad tried to continue my mom’s tradition. Back in 2020, I specifically remember sitting with him in church and talking about my upcoming birthday. It was only a month away, and he was already planning something. He had the sweetest twinkle in his eye as he talked about it. Two days later my dad went home to heaven too. 2003 was a hard year. 2020 was a hard year, but it wasn’t a “hard” without a hope. I have tried to make my own family’s birthdays just as wonderful as my parents made mine, and I love to wish everyone a Happy Birthday on their special day. Facebook is great that way. It reminds you who has a birthday, and gives you the opportunity to wish them a great one. Unfortunately you can also have many “friends” on Facebook that you don’t know much about. This was my case when I wished someone birthday greetings, and their daughter messaged me back to tell me they had passed away. My heart sank. As she read each birthday greeting written to her mom, I am sure the tears fell. Her mom would never receive them. Ever since then, I make it a point to check everyone’s status before any Happy Birthday wishes are sent, especially if I am not close friends with them. Yes, birthdays and holidays without our loved ones can be sad, but God reminds me of another birthday. The birthday of His Son. It is only because of this precious sacrifice by our Savior, His ultimate death on the cross and resurrection, that we all can have another birthday. Not the physical day that we were born, but the day we were born again. I am sure that many people who read my posts might label me one of those “christian fanatics”. Maybe I am, and I am ok with that. Because I fell in love with Jesus. And if you knew, if you truly knew His love for you and how He could change your life, you would fall in love with Him too. And so, as the Christmas season is fast approaching, I want to check your “status” and my question for you is this, have you been born again? Because if you have, there is no fear in death. There is no sadness without hope, because the day that Jesus was born was the day He gave hope to all mankind. He was born to die. Not to live a good life, or be a great leader or do amazing miracles. He was born to die. For me and for you. And when He died on that cross and proclaimed to all the world “It is finished!”, it rang throughout eternity. The debt was paid for our sins. A debt we could not pay ourselves. This Christmas, won’t you receive that gift from God? With a repentant heart, ask Him to be your Savior so that you can be born again. You can celebrate another birthday, a heavenly birthday. And if you have already received that gift, help someone else unwrap its wonder. Share this good news of great tidings with others! God so loved the world that He gave his only Son, and the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord! Do you know what’s wrapped up in that present? Peace, and joy, and love, and hope, and faith, and heaven, but more than all of that~ Jesus. Jesus is wrapped up in that gift for you. The very Son of God. And the sweet grace, and hope, and mercy of it all is this~ God promises that once we are born again, we are His child forever. Nothing can separate us from His love. When our physical birthdays have come to an end, we will immediately be in the presence of Jesus. My Jesus, who gave everything for me. Jesus, our thrill of hope for a weary world. SCRIPTURE READING John 3:3-7, 12, 15-17 Isaiah 26:3 Psalm 107:1-2, 8-9, 43 1 Thessalonians 4:13 1 Timothy 1:15 Romans 5:5-8, 11 Ephesians 2:8-9 Romans 6:23 Galatians 5:22 1 Corinthians 13:13 Philippians 4:7 Hebrews 4:16 John 10:28-30 Romans 8:31-32, 34-35, 37-39 Luke 23:43 1 Corinthians 15:55-57
11/17/2023
Time FliesHow can it be Thanksgiving already?
The nostalgia of the season has come upon me. I’m missing my loved ones. My grandparents, my parents, my best friend~ all gone on to heaven. I’m missing family gatherings full of aunts and uncles and cousins. I’m missing my children being tiny little beings full of giggles, and cuddles, and adoration. I’m missing the past. The music, the decorations, the food and the memories. When I was younger I was often told that time is fleeting. I didn’t really grasp the weight of those words, but as each year passes, that weight gets heavier and heavier. With the beautiful falling leaves painting the barren earth, this truth hits me even harder. I watch each colorful leaf dance in the wind…and then blow away, and I think about the years of my life doing the same. Like a vapor. The wind takes the years. I try to grasp at them and hold them tighter. I don’t want to let them go. I don’t want to see my grandsons turn into little men so quickly, or my granddaughters into young women. I am selfish. I want them to stay their tiny selves just a little bit longer. My children grew up too quickly. And now my grandchildren are doing the same. I remember last year, and the year before that… I had purposed in my heart to savor every minute. To slow down and enjoy the time with my children and their children. And I did. I stopped the busy. I stopped putting my housework, my schedule and my to do’s before family. I dropped everything at a moment’s notice to spend more time with the most important people in my life. I cherished every single minute. And yet, it did not make time slow down. Time was caught up in the wind. It danced and it was beautiful, and then it was gone. And so, I am that grandma talking about time fleeting to my children. Telling my daughters to cherish every minute. To look into the eyes of their children and soak it in. To burn that moment onto her heart, because that moment will never come again. It will dance and be beautiful, and then~ it will become a memory. I’ll be honest, as I pondered these thoughts this morning, I was saddened. My eyes filled with tears. I’m sure my mom passing away at only 63 plays a part in that. I am only 5 years from that very age. And so, as I often do, I cried to Jesus. I shared my heart. And as I opened His word I told Him how incredibly thankful I was for this beautiful life He has given me…”But oh Jesus, it’s going by too fast. It’s disappearing before my eyes!” And my heart didn’t feel as thankful. It felt heavy. It will be Thanksgiving and then Christmas and then a New Year, and time will dance away from me like the beautiful leaves outside. And just like He always does, Jesus gave me a word from His word. “For my days are consumed like smoke, And my bones are burned as an hearth. My days are like a shadow that declineth; And I am withered like grass. But thou, O LORD, shalt endure for ever; And thy remembrance unto all generations. This shall be written for the generation to come: And the people which shall be created shall praise the LORD. Of old hast thou laid the foundation of the earth: And the heavens are the work of thy hands. They shall perish, but thou shalt endure: Yea, all of them shall wax old like a garment; As a vesture shalt thou change them, and they shall be changed: But thou art the same, and thy years shall have no end. The children of thy servants shall continue, And their seed shall be established before thee.” Psalm 102:3, 11-12, 18, 25-28 “Like as a father pitieth his children, So the LORD pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; He remembereth that we are dust. As for man, his days are as grass: As a flower of the field, so he flourisheth. For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; And the place thereof shall know it no more. But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, And his righteousness unto children's children; To such as keep his covenant, And to those that remember his commandments to do them. The LORD hath prepared his throne in the heavens; And his kingdom ruleth over all. Bless the LORD, ye his angels, that excel in strength, That do his commandments, hearkening unto the voice of his word. Bless ye the LORD, all ye his hosts; Ye ministers of his, that do his pleasure. Bless the LORD, all his works in all places of his dominion: Bless the LORD, O my soul.” Psalm 103:13-22 The words leapt off the page. In that moment, the knowledge of God’s love for me transcended any words I might have had to try to convey the feelings of my heart. God knew exactly what I needed before I ever opened my Bible. And He told me~ My Jesus is eternal. He does not leave. He remains beautiful. Always present. Always with me. Life may change daily, fleeting and only leaving me memories, but my Jesus will never become just a memory, because my Jesus never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. My constant. My joy. My truth. My life. And as I strive to glorify Him in all I do, as I strive to live that life in front of my children and grandchildren, teaching them to make Him their everything~ He promises me that my children and my children’s children will be established and His mercy and righteousness will be upon them. And my heart is overwhelmed with thanksgiving. It feels as if it could burst for the joy He has given me. The weight of the words that felt so heavy just a few moments before, now gave me promise. Yes, time is fleeting but Christ is my firm foundation. My cornerstone. A foundation that will never be moved. He is my forever. The joy He brings will never, ever, ever leave. It will dance and be beautiful. And it will remain. For me, for my children, and for my children’s children. Thank you Jesus. Happy Thanksgiving dear friends! SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 126:2-3, 5-6 Hebrews 13:8 1 Corinthians 3:11 Hebrews 11:10 2 Timothy 2:19 1 Peter 2:6 Ephesians 2:18, 20 1 Corinthians 2:9
11/10/2023
My Great GodSometimes the hope we need for miracles in our own lives, come from the miracles and praises of others.
This is the season we will see countless posts and quotes about thankfulness. Why to be grateful and how to be thankful. They are all great reminders, but today I am not going to talk about any of them. Today I’m going to share some hope. Today I’m going to talk about my Jesus, and tell you how great our God is. Ever since my dad passed away in 2020, my heart has struggled with holding on and letting go. Letting go of his belongings (right down to a little magnifying glass he used to read his prescriptions), letting go of his home, and holding on to memories. Every time I thought about selling his home, I cried. I couldn’t. It was a heavy, internal struggle to say the least. So I prayed. And I prayed, and I prayed and I prayed, and I never felt a peace, and I never got an answer. My son and daughter in law were living there during this time. It made my heart happy that family lived within the walls that held so many memories for me, so I continually pushed the idea of selling all the way to the back of my mind… until the day they told us they were moving. I’ll be honest. I cried. And then I prayed some more. God had opened a door for my son that was literally a miracle. A dream house for them to be able to purchase. Something they had been praying about for a very long time themselves. And yet, in that moment I struggled. While they were getting their dream, I wanted to hold on to mine. Keeping a physical part of my dad for as long as possible. God continued to nudge my heart though, so I continued to pray. I remember telling one of my children that I wished God would just audibly tell me what to do. Don’t you feel that way sometimes? I was scared. I didn’t want to let go. I pondered all these things. I didn’t even talk to my husband about it. It was a Saturday in August when it was particularly heavy on my heart. An answer needed to come. The home would soon be empty and the mortgage was high. I begged God that day to show me. I asked him for specifics. An exact request. The entire day went by without an answer and late that night, when I thought no answer had come, God surprised me. He literally answered the exact request I had prayed for. I cried again. I don’t believe God speaks audibly to us, but in that moment it was as close to audible as you can get. He used His word. He used prayer. He used other believers. His Holy Spirit worked miracles through it all. This might seem trivial to you, but it was heart wrenching to me. Until God answered. And suddenly, the peace He gave me passed all understanding. A peace that could only come from Him. God was telling me to sell. Let me tell you what happened within the next 24 hours. We had 2 people interested in buying. And then, early Sunday morning I remembered that a friend of mine had asked me a year ago if I would be willing to sell. At the time I told her no. As a quick gesture, I let her know that I was now willing. Three interested people before we ever listed! And just like that, 24 hours later, my dad’s home sold for our asking price. Not only did it sell, it sold to my sweet friend. She was just as happy as I was, and told me that she had been praying about it! I couldn’t imagine anyone else living there and loving it like my dad did. God put her name on my heart that Sunday morning. Not only that, but my son and daughter told us they were expecting. After 5 heartbreaking years of trying, and praying and begging God, their miracle baby was here. They had a dream home and a baby coming. And I wept and I wept and I wept. God’s perfect timing was an understatement. And today I want to praise him. Today I want to thank him. Today I want to give you hope~don’t stop praying and seeking and asking and begging… And praising and thanking. He truly is our God of miracles. He is my Father who understands my frail humanity and has compassion on my hurting heart. Who sympathizes with my inconsequential struggling and fear, in the midst of a world filled with far worse. And despite the innumerable prayers lifted up to Him from all over this world, He cares about me. He continually reaches down and pulls me close, whispering to my heart that He understands. That’s my God. As hard as it is when you’re going through the process, don’t give up on Him. He knows exactly when to answer those prayers. Nothing is too big. Nothing is too small. And when the answer comes, and it will come, thank Him. Praise Him. And then, share that hope with the world. SCRIPTURE READING: Isaiah 12:2 Psalm 86:1-10, 12-13, 15 Psalm 88:1-3, 9, 13 Psalm 89:1-2, 5-8, 15-17 Ephesians 1:3-7, 12, 18-19
11/3/2023
The Truth I’m Standing OnI love history.
Please don’t stop reading just because you think you don’t relate. I guarantee this applies to you. You love history too, you just don’t realize it. Just a few weeks ago my husband took me on a dream vacation. It wasn’t Hawaii, or the Bahamas. It was Plymouth, Massachusetts, and I loved every single second of it. To walk inside a reproduction of the very ship~the Mayflower~ that the pilgrims sailed over on, and to realize the hardships they endured was overwhelming. To stand in the very place our pilgrims landed was incredibly moving. To visit a recreation of the plantation those same pilgrims started, nearly half of whom died, was emotional and humbling. But I was also saddened during our time there. We became aware that it seemed history was being rewritten in some areas we visited, and it really bothered me. It bothered me because I know… I know we have written accounts, original manuscripts from the very pilgrims that landed here, and people are actively trying to change these accounts. The authors of the original manuscripts had no agenda. Their writings were personal journals for their own behalf, yet correlated completely with each other. One day the next generation may view the beautiful history of our great country through a completely different lens. I want to be able to teach them the truth and to preserve that history. As I was saddened to ponder all of this, I thought about God and His word and my heart was filled with thankfulness. Despite what the world might throw at us, despite what they say is truth, even though that truth seems to change on a daily basis, my God never changes. His word never changes. The same yesterday, today and forever. What joy and peace and comfort that brings to my soul. And yes, that’s why you love history as much as I do, because God’s truths are our history. It’s in those truths that we receive the message of salvation and hope, of peace that passes understanding, of the terror of Hell, but the glory of Heaven. Of our God who has mercy and compassion and grace, and loves us no matter what. So much so that He gave His Son for us. All of that history that was written years ago is the hope we all cling to today. Can you imagine life without it? Its promises give us comfort on our darkest days. We love every word, and it’s still the truth today. It’s still alive today. It will never change. I will continue to teach my grandchildren the beautiful, sacrificial journey the pilgrims made and the blessing it is to live in this country, and worship God freely because of it. And I will continue to teach the next generation the beautiful, sacrificial journey our Savior made from His home in glory, so that we could have a home in heaven with Him one day. I will cling to its truths, despite what the world claims is truth. I will hold it in my heart and lean on its promises. As I stood at Plymouth Rock and my emotions swelled deep inside me, I couldn’t help but think of another rock. The solid rock. The truth I’m standing on. The rock that will never change, despite the storms that may surround us. It’s our cornerstone and foundation, and it’s the very rock that our pilgrims depended on as they set sail for this beautiful country we now have the privilege to call home. Thank God for that history that is ours. Thank God the pilgrims chose to build their house upon THE ROCK. SCRIPTURE READING: Malachi 3:6 Hebrews 13:8 2 Peter 1:19-21 Hebrews 4:12 2 Samuel 22:32 1 Samuel 2:2 Psalm 18:31 Psalm 62:2, 6&7 Psalm 31:3 Psalm 18:1-2 Matthew 7:24 Deuteronomy 32:4 Psalm 77:11-12 Psalm 78:2-4, 6-7
10/27/2023
A Look In The MirrorThis morning I realized that once again~amidst the chaos of life~ I have been seeking God only for His blessings, and not seeking God for God Himself.
Often we look at the word “blessings” and think about gifts, but God’s blessings come in many forms. In the ability to bring the needs of others to Him. In asking Him to give us wisdom on our path ahead. In countless prayers throughout our days. Yes, prayer is a huge blessing and lately, amid my rushed mornings my prayers have consisted of quick requests before starting my day. I wanted something from God without spending quality time with God. But to truly know, love and seek Him~ that takes intention. It takes stillness. It takes the daily “to do” list out of the equation. It’s a blank slate and a heart seeking Jesus alone. No agenda. This is something that seems to be a recurring issue with me. Life gets ahead of God. I can’t seem to turn my brain off to focus on Him, so I utter some quick requests and go about my day. Please don’t misunderstand, I realize there are times that the busyness of life is completely out of our control, and in those moments all we can do is utter quick prayers to our Heavenly Father, but that hasn’t been my case. Yes life has been busy, but I have put many things before God. When I do this, His fruits seem to whither quickly and I feel farther and farther away from Him. Fruits like love, joy, peace, long suffering etc. I notice myself getting irritable, and judgmental, overwhelmed and discouraged. I feel sorry for myself, I don’t think about others like I should. My identity in my Jesus becomes my identity in Charisse alone. Just last week I had set up facial recognition on my phone. The very next morning it didn’t recognize me. As I stumbled into the bathroom in my sleepy state, I muttered “stupid phone”. Then I looked in the mirror. Sometimes I think we all need to take a good long look in the mirror. When I get to the point where even my phone irritates me, I don’t recognize Jesus’ reflection looking back at me. I simply see Charisse. Grumpy Charisse. I need that time with Jesus. To push the world aside and just be wrapped in His presence. It’s in those moments that my love for Him grows stronger and my fruits bear His name. This reminded me of a beautiful memory from year’s past. My husband coached soccer at our local public school for 15 years. One year stands out to me more than all the others. It was almost Christmas. The soccer season was over, but one night there was a knock on our door. The captain of the team stood outside with a gift for my husband. The team had gotten together and purchased a beautiful soccer jacket with the word “coach” stitched on the front. A sweet, thoughtful, out-of-the-norm gesture that was completely uncharacteristic of high school boys. A lot of love was wrapped up in that special gift. Later that year at the sports awards ceremony, that group of “cool, popular” boys stood on the platform and weeped as they expressed their love for my husband. Just recalling these memories brings the tears. Many teachers told my husband later that they had never seen anything Iike it. My husband was their coach. He taught them the lessons they needed to win. Those lessons weren’t always easy but those boys knew that my husband loved them and wanted the best for them~ because they spent so much time with him. Their hearts were changed because of it. They asked nothing of him, yet spending time in his presence taught them so much. And it showed. Love was reflected in them. That’s what I want. My love for Jesus to be reflected back to a world that desperately needs Him just as much as I do. If you find yourself feeling far from God, irritable and judgmental, overwhelmed or discouraged~ maybe it’s time to push the “to-do’s” aside, intentionally spending time with Jesus, for no other reason than to just be with Him. That’s a beautiful place to be. SCRIPTURE READING: Isaiah 26:9 Psalm 63:1-8 John 15:4-5, 8-9, 11 Ephesians 3:16-19 Psalm 143:6, 8 Psalm 42:1-2, 8 Psalm 23
Too often I think we take God’s word for granted. When life is good, our bible can sit unopened for days. When life is bad we want answers ASAP, and quite often look to the words of man over the words of God. We want to read a relatable blog post to help us feel better fast. Blog posts like I write every Saturday. I truly believe that God can use humans to uplift, encourage and convict when needed, but I also want to remind you that God’s words are more powerful than any word man could ever write. They are definitely more powerful than any word I could write. My words are the bandaid. God’s words are eternal. They are the medicine that heals and transforms. They are power. Today I want to share some of that power with you. A few weeks back, I woke up one morning and Psalm 23 was immediately on my heart and mind. That same morning~within the hour~ my daughter-in-law sent a text with a song she wanted to share. A song on Psalm 23. I knew God was speaking to me. I will be honest~this hasn’t been a “go-to” Psalm for me like it is for so many. It is such a familiar Psalm, probably one that many of us know by heart. I often overlook its familiarity. I shouldn’t. And so, I got out concordances and study bibles to dig a little deeper. Today I would like us to take a closer look, because I know these words will touch EVERYONE’S hearts in one way or another. There is so much truth, power and encouragement packed into this little chapter tucked away in the book of Psalms. As you read each verse, let it truly sink in. Ask the Holy Spirit to let it change and transform you. It is a beautiful, powerful Psalm. *The Lord is my Shepherd~ a Shepherd takes care of EVERY SINGLE need His sheep have. They are 100% dependent on Him. Philippians 4:19, Isaiah 40:11, John 10:11 *I shall not want~ When I was younger, I used to think that this meant I shouldn’t want “things”, that I should be content with what I have. Now that I have lived life for almost 60 years, I understand it so much better. He has ALWAYS provided for me. I may not have felt it in the moment, but when I look back at every hard situation I have been through, God made sure I had everything I needed. Because He is our shepherd, He will make sure we have everything we need. We will want for nothing that isn’t absolutely needed. Psalm 37:25 *He makes me lie down in green pastures~ green pastures are lush. They are nourishing and they are comforting. When we abide in God’s word and trials come, the Holy Spirit will bring to our minds comforting scripture to help us get through it. John 6:63, 14:26, 15:7 *He leads me beside the still waters~ sheep get startled easily, the presence of Jesus leads us to stillness and rest, away from the chaos and stress all around us and anything that might bring us fear. Revelation 7:17 *He restores my soul~ even the times we find ourselves fearful, or exhausted, He always restores us. “God can restore the joy of our salvation (Psalm 51:12) and bring us back to where we began believing in Him” Sarah Freymuth. Philippians 4:13, Deuteronomy 31:6, Isaiah 40:31, 41:10, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Matthew 11:28, Psalm 31:24, 51:12 *He leads me in the path of righteousness for His names sake~ God will lead us on the correct path no matter how far we stray, all to His glory. “God’s glory is tied to His goodness, and God’s goodness is tied to His name” Sarah Frazer. Psalm 5:8, Ephesians 1:18-19, Isaiah 58:8, Psalm 31:3, 138:7, John 17: 15,17,22-23 *Though I walk through the valley, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me~ Our valley may be the darkest we have ever walked through, but we have the assurance from His word that there is nothing to fear because He is always with us. “Often, our next step isn’t walking forward; it’s remembering who God is. God is loving. God is kind. God is patient. God is just. God is all-capable and all-knowing. God is forgiving. God is generous. God is good. Praying these truths about who God is will comfort us in our panic.” Lysa TerKeurst. Psalm 3:6, 27:1, Hebrews 13:5, Romans 8:38-39 *Thy rod and staff comfort me~ a rod and staff can be for chastisement, but also for leading and guiding. Whatever we are going through, it is ultimately used for our good. This verse takes us back to verses 2 & 3, almost as if we need to hear it again. He will lead us to the paths of righteousness, but He will also comfort us along the way. *Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies~ who or what are your enemies? Your thoughts? Your fears? Your insecurities? Physical ailments? Unrest? People that continually hurt or anger you? Whatever that enemy is that is surrounding you, you can sit and eat at the table of God’s bounty, because He is sitting there with you. This is such a beautiful picture. I can almost see myself surrounded by war on every side, yet sitting at a feast in complete peace. That’s what God can do in our lives. That is powerful. Philippians 4:7, Proverbs 16:7, Isaiah 26:3-4, *Thou anointest my head with oil~ Jesus has covered you in the anointing oil of prayer. What a beautiful thought. Jesus prays for us. Oil is also a symbol for rejoicing, gladness and God’s blessing in jewish society. Psalm 45:7, 104:15, John 17:15, 17, 22-23 *My cup runs over~ we are blessed beyond measure, our cups run over with blessings if we will just open our eyes to see it. James 1:17 *Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life~ God’s goodness will always be with us. Always. Until we take our last breath. His mercy will always pour over us. His compassion and forgiveness will never cease. Psalm 78:38-39, Lamentations 3:22-23, Hebrews 4:16, Ephesians 2:4-7, 1 Peter 1:3 *And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever~ always with God whether here on earth or in heaven one day. An eternity spent with the One who loves us more than anything. John 5:24, Romans 6:23, John 1:12, Matthew 28:20 Such simple truths to cling to~ whether we’re laying in that lush grass of comfort and peace, or walking through the darkest valley~ they literally hold the answer to every circumstance we might face. Preach them to yourself often, dwell on them and hide them in your heart. Teach them to your children and your children’s children. Psalms 71:18, 78:4, 100:5, 102:18, 145:4 The Lord is my Shepherd. Oh the sweetness that promise holds.
10/13/2023
Flaws And AllI have been reading God’s word since I was 12 years old, but I can remember my mom reading me Bible stories before I was ever in school. When I was younger, I used to think that the people God used were all flawless heroes of the faith. The older I get, the more my perspective has changed.
The ladies at my church are doing a Bible study right now on Women of the Bible. When you study 5 women each month, it really opens your eyes. God has taught me so many truths through this study. One that has stood out to me over and over is this~ throughout history He has used imperfect women to accomplish His perfect will. Women just like me. Women just like you. And that gives me so much hope. Homemakers and working women, servants and queens, teenagers and elderly, women of ill repute, and women immersed in the work of the kingdom. He never asks them to become someone they are not. He redeems, He indwells and He provides. He uses each one with their unique personalities, flaws and all. And that prompted my thoughts today. God doesn’t want us to change our personalities to fit a cookie cutter mold of what the world thinks we should be, and He certainly doesn’t want us to change our personalities to a cookie cutter mold we THINK christian women are supposed to be. He wants us to be what His word tells us to be. He wants us to be us. He created us exactly the way we are, and He wants to use our unique personalities for His glory. God created me with an introvert personality. I am a housewife and a homebody. And I love it. That is who He made me. He doesn’t want me to try harder to be an extrovert, or be disappointed in myself for not having a prestigious 9-5 job. There will be times that He asks me to step out of my comfort zone to better glorify Him, but He never requires me to be someone else. Here is the thing I want you to get~you be you, not some version of what the world tells you to be. My friend sent me a very revealing quote a few months back, and I’m just going to drop it right here because it says SO MUCH. "We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving. We pride ourselves on getting as little sleep as possible and thrive on self-deprivation. We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins. We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We never want to be as passive-aggressive as our mothers, never want to marry men as uninspired as our fathers. We are the daughters of the feminists who said, 'You CAN be anything,' and we heard, 'You HAVE TO be everything.'" Courtney Martin We continually hear the shouts telling us that we HAVE to be everything and if we aren’t, then we are flawed. Sometimes those shouts come from within us. You don’t have to BE EVERYTHING my friend. You just have to be you. All of that stuff, that’s what the world is constantly screaming at us. But that’s not what God is whispering to our hearts. Let’s examine ourselves ladies. What are we passing down to the next generation? Because sometimes I believe we all are hanging on by a thread, instead of the hem of HIS garment. Do we really want our daughters and granddaughters to be the ones with all the issues wrapped up in that quote, or do we want them to be themselves~walking through each day with Jesus and wrapped up in Him~being exactly who HE made them to be. We are being the example that they see. We are teaching them with our own behavior. Are we always too busy? Are we always stressed? Are we trying to be too serious, too relentless? Are we too judgmental of ourselves? Are we even being ourselves? Are we happy? Truly happy? Can we be silly, and laugh, can we play and have fun, or are our busy lives consuming our every waking minute? Is your life the life you wish for your daughter? And so, I will repeat what I wrote last week- Who am I? I am crucified with Christ, yet not I, but Christ. I am me, the introvert, shy, wife, mom, grandma, pastor’s wife, homemaker and blogger. Exactly the person God created me to be. And my constant prayer will be that the life I live isn’t the life the world is screaming it should be, but it’s the life I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I pray all our lives can exemplify this to our daughters and their children. I want to encourage you to always use the unique personality God gave you to glorify Him in every single thing that you do. That is my own prayer~ A flawed hero of the faith. Just by being me. SCRIPTURE READING: Galatians 2:20 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 Romans 12:1-8 2 Corinthians 8:11-15
10/7/2023
Peace Be StillI barely came up for air when another wave crashed down upon me.
There had been a respite. I felt His peace, and relief swept over me. Trials seemed to be eased, and prayers answered. Until this week. It wasn’t a horrible diagnosis, a job loss or a death. It was a small attack of satan in the middle of the night as I slept peacefully, completely unaware. For the second time in a week, my Facebook account was hacked. Not only was it hacked, but the person posing as me posted evil pictures on my page, and in a chat. I woke up to a notification on my phone. Facebook told me I had violated their policies and I was locked out. I was sick inside. I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t even defend myself. I couldn’t tell any of you, or ask for prayer. I felt so confused inside. Was this Satan attacking me, or God trying to teach me something? I prayed all day. I also tried to refute the issue, and somehow defend myself in order to get control back of my page. But at the end of the day, my weary heart realized it wasn’t in my control at all. It actually never was. And honestly, Meta may think they have control, but God has the final say. So I had to ask myself~ do I have enough faith to trust Him through this? What if Holding Hope disappeared? What if 12,000 followers became 1 and I had to start all over? What if I couldn’t use this platform to reach others again? What if God was saying “no” to me, would that be ok? What if the “busy” things I was complaining about in my heart last week were my reality this week? I am not questioning God. I am asking Him for discernment and wisdom to know why this is happening. I am checking my own heart for sin. I am asking God to overcome the wicked one, and the darkness that seemed to have won. It’s incredibly hard for me to be able to read the comments on my posts, comments asking for prayer or saying things are hard right now~and I am unable to respond. I am unable to encourage. But, encouragement won’t end with me. If my page were to end today, God is faithful. He will send others to those in need of encouragement. I am reminded of my words from last week again. I am not God. God will be God, with or without me, and He will get the glory. Satan may have attacked, but God has taught me so much in just a few short days. He is my light in the darkness. His light will continue to shine and He will prevail. And if I am able, that is the message I want to leave with you. Whatever you are facing today, continue to pray through it. That is literally all I can do right now. Continue to check your own heart. Continue to ask God for wisdom and discernment. Continue to fight that darkness with Jesus’ light. Even if you were falsely accused. Even if you can’t defend yourself. Even if you feel all is lost. Even when it looks like Satan has won and the winds and waves are just too much to bear, remember~ our God walks on water and our God walks on the wings of the wind. Our God is light in that darkness. Our God always makes a way. This morning I came back up for air and the winds and the waves did not overcome. I could hear His very words~Peace be still. And so I wait. As I write this I am still locked out, but I’m not alone. God is in complete control. None of this came as a surprise to Him. You are not alone either. You are never alone. God is with you. His light will shine through your darkness. He will calm the storms around you and He will prevail when all seems lost. Even in the unknown~The battle has already been won my friends, and Jesus is our Victor!! SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 139:11-12 Psalm 34:4, 6, 8, 15, 17, 19, 22 1 Corinthians 10:13 Psalm 35:1-2, 7, 9-12, 15-23, 25, 27-28 Psalm 36:5, 7, 9-11 Psalm 37:1, 3-7, 23-26, 32-33, 35-36, 39-40 Psalm 104:3 Mark 4:39-40 Matthew 14:25, 27, 30-33 1 Corinthians 15:57 Romans 8:37 2 Corinthians 2:14 Deuteronomy 20:4 Romans 8:31 John 16:33 Isaiah 55:11 Why does life feel like a chore to me?
That was my first thought the other morning. I was tired before I even got out of bed. Not wanting to escape the warmth, I laid there thinking back to a time when I used to wake up excited about the day ahead. What happened to that girl? I thought I had it all figured out. I told myself there was just too much on my plate. Too much busyness. Too much weariness. My mind felt like there were a thousand things going on all at once, and I couldn’t make it stop. I wanted it to stop. It was exhausting me. How do I find myself here again? I don’t know how many blog posts I’ve written on this subject, and yet I fall prey to its defeat again and again. Google tells me we have anywhere from 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day. We have 6-7 thoughts per minute. 95% of our thoughts are repetitive, and 80% are negative. Why is that? What feeds that negativity? The world tells me busy is better. It chides me to do it all. I work part time from home. I also have a stitching business. I over stress trying to be a good wife, mom and pastor’s wife. I hold Bible studies and ladies meetings. I schedule and teach and study and pray. I write a blog and run a Facebook page. I create more content, to gain more followers, to encourage more ladies, to have more hope. But somehow along the way, I continually seem to lose my own hope under a pile of busy. And that’s when the devil tells me that I am failing. He convinces me that I don’t want to be a pastor’s wife with ministry responsibilities, I just want to be a plain old wife. I don’t want to create posts or write a devotional every single week. I just want to scroll and be fed by someone else. I just want to be me. I just want to not have to think. And I will be honest ladies, that morning I told God ALL of that. I tried telling Him that I am a homebody, an empathetic introvert who wears other’s heartaches on her sleeve. “Don’t you know this is all too much for me?” I asked. As if He doesn’t know me. And that’s when the Holy Spirit revealed to me that my thoughts had gained control over my heart. My busy schedule and commitments overwhelm my soul. What “new” message of hope I can give to my followers constantly captures my thoughts. The heartache of others is continually on my mind. I find myself thinking about ALL of these things more than I think about GOD Himself. In fact, I’m sure it would be safe to say that 80% of my thoughts are “busy” thoughts, maybe more. That means only 20% of my thoughts are being still with God and thinking about Him. And therein lies the problem. Life has become a chore because I’m not dwelling in His presence and it’s only in His presence that there is fullness of joy. I am trying to be God, instead of resting in Him, surrendering all my thoughts, and days, and moments to Him. I was “taking the yoke”, but I forgot about the “learning” part. That morning Jesus told me~”Take my yoke upon you and LEARN of ME. If you do this Charisse, you will find rest for your soul.” When will I learn? Probably never, this side of heaven. But I sure am thankful for a God who doesn’t give up on me. His mercies are new every morning. The busy won’t ever stop. Life is filled with it. It will continue to pile up, but instead of being under that weight~ we can be on top of it, if we will just learn from God. What have I learned? Here are just a few takeaways~ *To wake up and rejoice before I get out of bed, thanking God immediately for the day ahead, and all He has blessed me with. *Pray about everything, all day long. If a thought comes into my head and I start trying to figure out my own solution, I’ve got to stop. I have to pray about it, because let’s be honest~ God’s solutions are so much better. When I do this continually it helps me to cease from “Charisse’s” works and focus on God. That’s when I find rest. *I meditate on God’s words throughout the day. When I think on God’s words, it pushes the busy right out of my brain. My thoughts are on God, and His peace tells me that He is in control and will take care of whatever has me stressed, anxious, heartbroken or fatigued. His words comfort me and He calms that storm inside my head. *Learn from Jesus. He continually got alone with God. The insurmountable love and burden for a sinful, fallen world was completely on His shoulders and yet, He took the time to rest and be still with His Father. Imagine if our repetitive thoughts~ the ones that take up 95% of our waking moments~ were transformed to think about God and His promises to us? He wants us to rest, but that doesn’t mean He wants us to stop. That voice that’s telling you to quit is from Satan. God’s voice tells us~ Be still. He is God. We are not. Life isn’t a chore. It’s a blessed, joy-filled opportunity to be about our Father’s business. Google might tell me otherwise. The world tells me “I” have to do it all. The devil tells me that “I” am not cut out for the ministry and convinces me that~”I just want to be me, plain old Charisse”~ but GOD… Who am I with God? I am crucified with Christ, YET NOT I, but Christ… In the multitude of my thoughts within me, His comfort delights my soul. SCRIPTURE READING: Philippians 4:4-9 Matthew 11:28-30 Jeremiah 6:16 Psalm 46:10 Hebrews 4:9-12 Psalm 16:7-9, 11 Lamentations 3:22-24 Galatians 6:9 Romans 12:1-2 Galatians 2:20 Psalm 94:19 |
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