6/26/2018
Dear EllieI realize ladies of all ages will be reading this letter today.
This is the day I will watch my niece Holly get married. It seems like yesterday that she was my little Ellie’s age as I watched she and her mama walk hand in hand along the seashore. Some of you may have precious little ones this very age and wish time would stop going so quickly. Others of you may be my age with grandchildren, remembering your own children at this age~ and still others of you may be the age my mom would be if she were still alive today. One thing I wish for all of you to remember is this~ your own mother~ no matter her age, or yours, has these exact thoughts about you. So stay a little longer, love a little harder and laugh a lot more with your children ~and your mom~ because time is passing quickly and these special moments will soon turn into fleeting memories.~~~ 💗Dear Ellie💗 Today I watched you walk away from my front porch toward school, hand in hand with your mama. Oh the memories that flood over me. This is your last week of kindergarten and I desperately wish I could hold on to this moment, every second of it, and someday replay it for you when you are a mama yourself. You look up at her in childlike wonder and innocent love. She is your everything. Your super hero, your mentor, your example, your comfort, love, encouragement and strength~ your whole world. When you grow up you want to be just like her. I watch you unashamedly hold her hand. Your precious little face looking up at her as you share your thoughts and dreams. She is your very best friend. And I don’t want it to end. Someday when you read this, you will be a grown woman. Your views on life will change. You may not look at your mama in the same way. And it will hurt her, more than you could ever realize~ until you have a child of your own. I wish I could wrap this very moment up in a box and one day ask you to open it and let every memory flood over your heart like warm beams of sunshine. And bring you back. And help you remember the love of a little girl for her mama. I don’t want that to ever change. But it will. I see you turn the corner and walk out of sight. Still chatting happily. Not a care in the world. No worry over what others will think. Proud to be walking hand in hand to school with your very best friend. And I want you to remember. Because that was my Jessica. That was my Andrea. That was my Michael & that was my Kathryn. Don’t ever forget. Because she never will.
6/19/2018
This Is The Story Of LoveThis is a story about a boy who turned into an amazing Father. A boy who was thrilled to be with his dad for his 15th birthday on a trip to Canada. My man. My husband. A story I have heard told at camps and children’s activities every year since we first met, 33 years ago. A story that can make kids of all ages quiet and wide eyed, no matter how large the group, because that boy got lost in the most remote part of Canada you could imagine. He thought he was going to die, but God had other plans.... He was the youngest in the group so he was chosen to do the walking while the older men canoed with the rest of their supplies. His father gave him instructions on exactly how to get there and which path to take but in his young mind, as he looked at the way ahead he misunderstood the geography and took the wrong path. He thought he knew what he was doing. It didn’t take long to realize his mistake yet each time he looked ahead he was sure the lake was just beyond the trees so he continued on... and on and on, another row of trees, then another. Soon he was running as fast as he could, trying to find his way out. Six hours went by. He could not hear any human voices. Temperatures were dropping to below freezing and night was coming. Fresh bear signs were everywhere and that boy knew in his heart that he would not be found. He was going to die. So there in those cold, wet woods as the rain was pouring down, he knelt in the aching silence and called out to his Heavenly Father. And he prepared to die. With a new resolve and a peace in his heart, he got back up and began walking again. After what seemed like several more hours he came upon a lake and after walking completely around it he found a canoe on shore that belonged to his group~ but for fear of losing his way again, he got into the canoe and began to paddle. The activity warmed him up and he knew that if he was in the canoe, surely someone would spot him when they returned for it. But after a while that didn’t seem likely either and his heart got heavy. Hypothermia was setting in. At first he thought how angry his dad would be with him when he found him, but then He thought about his dad finding his remains and the sadness it would bring him. He thought about how much his dad loved him. When it seemed like all hope was lost, he heard his name being called. “Michael...Michael”. So faint he almost missed it, but there it was again. He called back-“Dad! Dad!” But then the voice got farther and farther away and sadness gripped his heart once more. The silence was almost deafening but then again, he heard his name. His heart began to race as he called back~ over and over and over~ and through the dark, thick woods his father came running. He didn’t stop at the shore, he ran right into that freezing water and he grabbed that boy and wept. And that boy wept with him. “I didn’t think I would ever see you again” his dad cried. Apparently the group had notified the Canadian Mounted police of Mike’s disappearance and the next morning they came by to see if he had been found. They sadly reported that it had been a bad year with bears and 4 more adult men went missing the day before and were never rescued. My husband cannot tell that story without crying. Every time he recalls his father’s embrace the tears flow. I can see it in my mind as if I were there and I can’t help but think how much this is a story about all of us in some way or another. We become a Christian and love our Heavenly Father so much that we want to please Him in all we do but somehow along the way, we lose our way and we think we know which path to take. Instead of asking our Father for help or looking for direction from His Word, we think we know better and we continue on until we are completely lost and without Him. Alone and scared. Some of us might realize deep down how sad this makes our Heavenly Father. Some of us might even think we have been lost too long and we can’t face Him for fear He is angry with the paths that were taken and the decisions that were made. My friend, when you feel as if you are surrounded by tears and all alone, your Heavenly Father is calling out to you through the darkness, and He won’t stop calling your name until He hears you call back. He will not give up on you and when He hears your voice calling back to Him, He will run to you. He will hold you and weep tears of joy. There will be no anger but only love. This is the story of love. This is the story of a Father’s love~one that Christ Himself told. A story we all need to remember. “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” Matthew 7:11 KJV “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38 & 39 KJV
6/12/2018
This Place Called HomeWhen my kids were little, I used to have chore sheets for each of them. Every day after school they were required to do their specific chore and then mark it off the list. Some days would be good days. Happy moods. Willing hearts. Other days would be~ I. Hate. These. Stupid. Chores!Why can’t we just play outside with our friends and have fun?. At times I believe this is how many adults view God. They think that He is up in heaven with a list of rules they have to obey in order to get His approval. They’re afraid that if they choose God they will have to give up too much. They’re afraid they will miss out on all the fun. They look at church and the Bible as if it were one big chore list. But that’s not God. (1 Corinthians 2:9) There is nothing we could ever do to “earn” our way to heaven. (Ephesians 2:8-9) No rules we must to follow. No commandment we must keep. Church isn’t about rules. God isn’t about rules. He’s not up in heaven waiting to hit you over the head if you don’t mark off your daily chore. He doesn’t have a list of things He demands you give up before He will allow you into Heaven. (1 John 4:8) God is all about love and we desperately need to understand the extent of His love, (Psalm 103:12, Romans 8:38-39) and realize that if we could ever do enough good deeds, enough chores, if we could follow every single rule~ What was the point of His Son dying on the cross for us? God looks at us and He doesn’t see a chore list. He sees His Son and He loves us in spite of our sinful self. (Romans 5:8) All God wants is you. All He asks for is your heart. (Romans 10:9-10) My children had some very close friends growing up. “Best friends”. I truly loved all of them but that love didn’t even come close to the love I had for my own child. (Isaiah 49:15, 66:13) But God~ He loves us AS HE LOVES HIS OWN SON JESUS! (John 17:23) That’s PROFOUND!! It is mind blowing and hard for this mama to even comprehend. Oh my friend~ that’s what you’re missing out on. The love of a Father that would give His own Son for you! (John 1:11-12, 3:16, 4:10&14, 6:35, 1 John 4:9-10) And when we realize all that- we realize that church isn’t about rules. Its all about God the Father and His amazing, unending love for us. It’s Home. It’s a place where we can have child like peace and comfort in a messy world. Where we can be God’s child and rest in Him. My children are all adults now~ but there’s something special that happens when they come to visit. There are no chore lists, there are no rules. There is only love and fellowship with mom and dad. Child like comfort and security, love and rest in the place they once called Home. Won’t you come home today? (Deuteronomy 31:8, Exodus 33:14, Psalm 4:8, 23:4, 37:7, 62:1-2, 119:76, Philippians 4:7)
6/5/2018
Stop Being A Parent?One of the hardest things to do as a parent is to not be a parent. Recently, my 4 year old granddaughter Clara got an awful splinter in her foot. It was deep and painful. She’s a tough little cookie and doesn’t cry easily. I regularly hear her shout out~”I’m ok!”~as she jumps up from tripping, falling, running into walls, getting plowed over by her cousin on the swing-set, etc. But when her daddy had to get that splinter out, this grandma couldn’t even watch. I had to leave the room. I could not handle seeing her in so much pain, even though I knew the consequences of that splinter would cause major infection if left unattended. It brought me back to all the times I had to deal with similar situations in my own children’s lives. My daughter Kathryn was about the same age when she broke her collar bone and had to have it reset. I can still remember her screams. Seeing our children in that type of pain is heart wrenching, but if we know that pain will be for their good~as parents, we have to allow it. Parenting doesn’t just stop the moment our children move out of the house. It doesn’t stop once they get married. It doesn’t stop after they have their own children. I don’t think parenting will ever stop, as long as I am alive. The wisdom we gain as we get older, the consequences we endure for our actions~all of this becomes warning signs that we want to frantically wave in front of our children. It’s not that we think they aren’t smart~or even that we are smarter. It’s like fast forwarding to the end of the movie and trying to tell them we know the outcome. We’ve already seen it. We thought we had all the answers when we were their age. But time told a different story. That little splinter our own parents tried to remove, we told them no. It was fine. It was too small to do any harm. But it wasn’t small. We don’t want them to endure the heart aches we did. We don’t want them to go through pain. But this isn’t our story, it’s now theirs. We can’t write their ending. Only they can. And so we pray. We continually give them to God and when we are tempted to take them back~out of His grasp, when we grab for their heel and beg them to let us get that splinter out, we have to let go. Again and again and again. And trust Him. It will be hard. There will be pain. We might even have to walk out of the room~but in the end, if we’ve really truly given our children to God~He will be glorified. There’s a freedom in letting go and letting God. He is and always has been the One in control but somehow in our finite minds, we think we are. Once our minds can comprehend that the God of the universe knows exactly what’s going on in our children’s lives and that He has a plan~for their good, we can let go and allow God to pull that splinter out Himself. Because He loves them with a love that cannot be measured. Get that. He loves them with a love that CANNOT BE MEASURED. When the threat of infection was removed and the pain was over, Clara wanted to be held by her daddy. She snuggled in close as the last of her whimpers faded away. Isn’t that the end goal? To know that our children are being held by their Father, and ultimately~ to be closer to Him than ever before. |
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