1/5/2024
How To LiveLast week, I told you about my friend. My friend whose husband had been diagnosed with an illness and given 3 years to live. My friend who had joy, and encouraged me despite her darkness. My friend who told me to live every day to the fullest~ one day at a time.
My friend who unexpectedly got her own diagnosis a month later. My friend who is now home with Jesus and whose husband is now a widower. My friend who taught me how to die. I have stood at the side of many death beds in the last 25 years. Too many. Each time there was a glimmer of hope that a miracle would come and each time, the miracle we were asking for did not come. When death lingered at the door, many were too weak to speak to me. Many were on medication to ease pain, and many just slept. Because there was always that measure of hope for recovery, I never truly had an opportunity to talk candidly with any of them about their imminent departure from this world. Until now. So many of my fellow Christian’s have shown me how to live. How to be lights for Christ in a dark world. How to overcome heartache and sorrow and live in the joy of the Lord, but no one really teaches you how to die because no one truly knows how they will react until they are put in that situation. It’s a morbid thought. No one wants to think about death at the beginning of a brand new year, but death is no respecter of time or person. And therein lies the importance of choosing to use our time wisely~living each day for the glory of God~ because none of us know when our appointment with death is. My friend certainly didn’t. Romans 8 tells us that our bodies are already dead because of sin. If we have accepted God’s gift of salvation, our spirits are alive because of Christ. Not just here on earth, but for eternity. What a season to grasp this lesson. A season of new beginnings, of hope, of life eternal. Because without the lowly birth in a manger there would be no death on a cross, and there would be no hope for us as we face death and eternity. My friend was on her death bed. She had bypassed treatment and although there was some pain, she was coherent. Her focus was on her Savior, on His promises and His goodness in her life. She didn’t speak of fear or uncertainty. She was smiling and laughing, albeit incredibly weak~ she was talking about the excitement of seeing Jesus. She was a light in the middle of so much darkness. And she probably never knew what an impact this had on me, until she was in glory. I asked her to give Jesus a hug for me when she saw Him. I will miss her so very much, and yet I have a peace about her home going. A comfort. Because of how she chose to live her days, she was not afraid when her days came to an end. I thought she taught me how to die. Until now. She didn’t just teach me how to die after all. She taught me how to live. What will you and I teach others in 2024? SCRIPTURE READING: Romans 8:10 Isaiah 46:4, 9-10 Isaiah 45:22 Romans 8:18, 22-28, 31-32, Romans 8:35, 37-39 Psalm 71:3, 5, 8-9, 14-21, 23-24 Psalm 73:23-26, 28 John 14:1-3 2 Corinthians 4:14-18 1 Corinthians 2:9 Philippians 3:20-21 Philippians 4:8 Colossians 3:16-17 1 Timothy 4:12 Matthew 5:16
12/8/2023
Glimpses Of GloryGuest post by my son Michael Goforth
Nostalgia — Have you ever felt it? That odd mixture of joy and sadness that floods your soul as you encounter something from yesteryear. An old song, a familiar smell, a worn out picture... The dictionary defines nostalgia as “a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past.” And there’s nothing quite like the Christmas season for bringing out these sentimental longings. We’re happy for that Christmas memory, but we’re simultaneously sad because it’s over. And as we try to sort through it all, we are left with these feelings that we’re not sure what to do with. What is going on here? And what are we to do with these longings? To answer these questions, we need to travel back to a place called Eden and consider how our story began. In Genesis 2:7-8 we read, “then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed.” If you continue reading, you’ll find that Eden was so much more than just a garden. It was a garden paradise, with everything you could want for joy and flourishing. And shortly after creating man, God made the woman. And he graciously gave them Eden as the place they could call home. A sanctuary for them to rest and rejoice in God and his gifts. Tragically, this is not how the story ends. Adam and Eve decided that all of this was still not enough, and they rebelled against God. This ushered sin, death, and brokenness into the world. And it resulted in their removal from Eden. Our first parents were officially exiles, banned from the garden sanctuary that they once called home. And ever since then, their descendants, with the rest of creation, have been longing for Eden (Rom 8:18-24). This is why all of us experience a homesickness of the soul. The world we live in is broken and sin-cursed. And the feelings of longing and nostalgia are echoes of a place we formerly called home. Now we wander through this life as exiles, often participating in the same rebellion of Adam and Eve, looking everywhere but God for fulfillment and satisfaction. So, how did God respond to all of this rebellion and brokenness? He responded with Christmas. He took on flesh and dwelt among us. The infinite God became an infant. Jesus, the Creator and Sustainer of all things, stepped into this sin-cursed world, to fix the brokenness that we caused. He lived the perfect life we never could and died the death that we should have died. He then rose again triumphantly to conquer sin, death, and hell forever. And he did all of it, “that he might bring us to God” (1 Pet. 3:18). The best part about Christmas is that it’s not over yet. Jesus has promised to come again. That he might rescue our homesick souls and bring us to the only real place that we can call home. A new heaven and a new earth with no more sin, no more sorrow, no more pain, no more brokenness, and no more death. A place of glory where all those who believe can live with God and enjoy Him forever. What if those feelings of nostalgia weren’t meant to make you long for the past? What if they were meant to make you long for the future? Personally, I believe this season, with its odd mixture of hope and longing, joy and sadness, beauty and brokenness—was all meant to be a glimpse of the glory that is to come. The glory that we know will come—because of Christmas. In the coming weeks, we’ll celebrate the sparkling lights, sing along to the beautiful music, marvel at the freshly fallen snow, embrace the warmth of gathering with our favorite people, and so much more. But if you are a Christian, these things are only a foretaste of your future. As C.S. Lewis explained, these things “are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited.” In other words, these things are only glimpses of the glory to come. One day, we will truly be home for the holidays, and oh what a glorious homecoming that will be.
11/24/2023
Hope For A Weary WorldToday I want to give you hope.
I know we live in a weary world. Holidays without our loved ones can be particularly sad. So can birthdays. Birthdays have always been very special to me, all because of my mom. When I was little~apart from Christmas~she made every birthday the best day of the year. Even as an adult, she knew how to make it special. My mom went home to heaven on November 3, 2003, one week before my birthday. My dad tried to continue my mom’s tradition. Back in 2020, I specifically remember sitting with him in church and talking about my upcoming birthday. It was only a month away, and he was already planning something. He had the sweetest twinkle in his eye as he talked about it. Two days later my dad went home to heaven too. 2003 was a hard year. 2020 was a hard year, but it wasn’t a “hard” without a hope. I have tried to make my own family’s birthdays just as wonderful as my parents made mine, and I love to wish everyone a Happy Birthday on their special day. Facebook is great that way. It reminds you who has a birthday, and gives you the opportunity to wish them a great one. Unfortunately you can also have many “friends” on Facebook that you don’t know much about. This was my case when I wished someone birthday greetings, and their daughter messaged me back to tell me they had passed away. My heart sank. As she read each birthday greeting written to her mom, I am sure the tears fell. Her mom would never receive them. Ever since then, I make it a point to check everyone’s status before any Happy Birthday wishes are sent, especially if I am not close friends with them. Yes, birthdays and holidays without our loved ones can be sad, but God reminds me of another birthday. The birthday of His Son. It is only because of this precious sacrifice by our Savior, His ultimate death on the cross and resurrection, that we all can have another birthday. Not the physical day that we were born, but the day we were born again. I am sure that many people who read my posts might label me one of those “christian fanatics”. Maybe I am, and I am ok with that. Because I fell in love with Jesus. And if you knew, if you truly knew His love for you and how He could change your life, you would fall in love with Him too. And so, as the Christmas season is fast approaching, I want to check your “status” and my question for you is this, have you been born again? Because if you have, there is no fear in death. There is no sadness without hope, because the day that Jesus was born was the day He gave hope to all mankind. He was born to die. Not to live a good life, or be a great leader or do amazing miracles. He was born to die. For me and for you. And when He died on that cross and proclaimed to all the world “It is finished!”, it rang throughout eternity. The debt was paid for our sins. A debt we could not pay ourselves. This Christmas, won’t you receive that gift from God? With a repentant heart, ask Him to be your Savior so that you can be born again. You can celebrate another birthday, a heavenly birthday. And if you have already received that gift, help someone else unwrap its wonder. Share this good news of great tidings with others! God so loved the world that He gave his only Son, and the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord! Do you know what’s wrapped up in that present? Peace, and joy, and love, and hope, and faith, and heaven, but more than all of that~ Jesus. Jesus is wrapped up in that gift for you. The very Son of God. And the sweet grace, and hope, and mercy of it all is this~ God promises that once we are born again, we are His child forever. Nothing can separate us from His love. When our physical birthdays have come to an end, we will immediately be in the presence of Jesus. My Jesus, who gave everything for me. Jesus, our thrill of hope for a weary world. SCRIPTURE READING John 3:3-7, 12, 15-17 Isaiah 26:3 Psalm 107:1-2, 8-9, 43 1 Thessalonians 4:13 1 Timothy 1:15 Romans 5:5-8, 11 Ephesians 2:8-9 Romans 6:23 Galatians 5:22 1 Corinthians 13:13 Philippians 4:7 Hebrews 4:16 John 10:28-30 Romans 8:31-32, 34-35, 37-39 Luke 23:43 1 Corinthians 15:55-57
8/11/2023
Don’t Tell Me How To GrieveI started crying in Walmart the other day. Something I did not expect.
It was just a quick trip in for a few things. I was almost finished when I looked up, and for a split second I felt a thousand emotions flooding my heart. I saw an older man approaching. His hair. His shirt. His shorts. Even his shoes. In that split second I thought it was my dad. I couldn’t look away. I wanted it to be my dad. I even walked closer. Almost hoping. My brain knew my dad was gone, but my heart wanted it to be him so badly that it fooled my brain into thinking it could be. In one split second. And then the emotions flooded me with the reality that it wasn’t and the tears came. I quickly turned down an aisle to hide my hurt~ but even now, several hours later I can feel its tug, and the tears keep returning. It was so real to me. My dad has been gone for almost three years and yet, out of the blue the grief will hit. A place. A smell. A song. A memory. I’m transported to childhood memories. The waves of it all will crash over me and my heart yearns to step back in time and relive the beautiful moments I had with him. That’s what grief feels like when you love deeply, but even more important~ that’s what it feels like to BE loved deeply. Grief is a road with many turns. It has been unexpectedly hard for me. I thought I was mentally prepared, I had already lost my mom and experienced that heartache. But dad’s home going hit me differently. Nostalgia visits often. Unexpected tears are frequent and frustration over the comments people make has been politely hidden away. Comments like “You should be thankful for the time you had, and the memories you made”. When grieving moments hit me, I couldn’t find the thankfulness in the reminders. Until yesterday. Somehow, at some point my grief had been wrapped up inside the arms of Jesus and transformed into genuine, beautiful thankfulness. That’s what Jesus does. I realized as I stood on my dad’s porch that my heart felt a true joy and happiness, and I was so incredibly thankful. And now when I think back to my moment in Walmart, I know why. I was thankful because I was loved so deeply. What a beautiful gift God gave me. That hurt that runs so deep, that longing to see my dad again, the tears and the memories the smells and the places, all of these are a byproduct of being loved deeply. Does this realization make the pain go away? No, but it somehow makes it easier. And it makes me thankful. A year ago I don’t think I could have said the same. I didn’t want to be thankful for “what was”. I just wanted my dad back. I won’t tell you how to grieve. No one should. It’s a journey all your own. But I will tell you this. Grieve with God. Despite what others thought of my grieving process, despite being told how I should feel, despite feeling alone and misunderstood, God knew. God understood. He never left my side. He allowed me to grieve in my own way as I leaned fully into Him and asked over and over if He would wrap his arms of peace and comfort around my tired, hurting heart. As crazy as I must sound, I wanted to run toward that man in Walmart. It is unreal what the pain of grief can do to us. And that made me think of heaven. Entering glory. Knowing the love I have for those who have gone on before me, but more importantly~ knowing how much I was loved BY them. And there is no greater love than the love of Jesus. Not only will I get to run and hug my mom and dad. I get to hug Jesus. With joy, He endured the pain of the cross because He loves me so much. Because He loves you so much. And because He endured that pain, our pain is only temporary. We will one day be united with our loved ones again. All those who have put their faith and trust in Him. The Bible tells me that one day, because of God’s love and redemption, when I take my last breath I will immediately be in the presence of Jesus. In one split second. What a difference a second came make. Today, I can smile through the tears. I can laugh with joy. God entered into my grief with me, and as much as I miss my dad, the gift of being loved is one of the greatest gifts God has blessed us with. I will hold on to that gift and cherish it, and my heart will be filled with thankful praise. When my youngest daughter was only 5, we took our family swimming. Our beach is ideal for young families. You have to walk at least a hundred feet before the water gets deep enough to actually swim. It’s perfect for young ones to splash and play in.
On this particular day, Mike and I went out a little deeper as our kids played near the shore. Within a split second our lives could have drastically changed. We looked over to see our youngest bobbing up and down right next to the shoreline, an area where the depth of water doesn’t even reach my knees. How could this be? She was drowning. We never moved so quickly. Praise God, we got to her in time. Somehow right next to the shoreline there was a large hole that she had waded into. Later that night, after we were all in bed she came down to our bedroom and told us that if she had died she knew she would’ve gone to hell and she wanted to ask Jesus to save her right then. And we knew she knew. Even at such a young age, she understood sin. She understood she needed Jesus. There was no prompting. It was of her own free will. There are so many beautiful moments when you’re a mom, but there are also a lot of hard aspects too. From the moment they are born, if your child has been raised going to church and hearing the gospel, I think one of the hardest aspects for parents is concern for their child’s soul. I didn’t grow up knowing Christ. I grew up with religion and rules. I didn’t have an intimate relationship with Jesus until I was 12. It was different for my children. They grew up hearing about Jesus, their beautiful Savior, from day one. It was talked about often. And that’s where it gets hard. As a parent, you don’t want your child to make a decision just to please mom and dad; nor do you want them to make a decision because it’s what they’re taught, thinking it’s just what they’re supposed to do. You want their repentance and salvation to come out of a genuine heart that understands they’re a sinner that needs a Savior. Every child is different. Some just seem to grasp that at an early age and others don’t get it for a long time. And that’s when the worry sets in. Mamas KNOW when they’re child understands sin. It comes naturally to them (and us 😉). There’s no mistaking it. And then you begin to wonder, what if something happens to my child and they don’t know Jesus?? I also understand that heaven can be so alluring to a child. I mean, what kid wants to go to hell? That’s incredibly scary. At such a tender age of 5, I’m sure that was a scary thought for my daughter. There’s so many things young children don’t quite grasp when they’re little, but with age comes growth. Here’s the thing about God and His promises to us~ whether you are 5 or 95, you will always be growing in your walk with the Lord. Not once does He tell us that we have to understand the weight of every single thing the Bible teaches before we can accept His free gift of salvation. God simply tells us to have the faith of a child. Matthew 18:3-4, 2 Peter 3:9 So what is a parent or grandparent supposed to do? I’m not claiming to be an expert, far from it. But here are some things to keep in mind through your parenting journey as you introduce your children to Jesus. I pray that they can be an encouragement to you. 1. Pray for your children without ceasing. I Thessalonians 5:16-18 2. Talk about Jesus and His gift to us often. Ephesians 2:8, John 21:25 3. Make sure they understand that this isn’t religion, this is Jesus you are talking about. Their Father, their Savior and their very best Friend. 2 Corinthians 1:3, Philippians 3:10 4. I cannot stress this enough~ make Jesus real to your children!! Don’t just introduce them to your “way of life”, introduce them to the God of the Bible. The same Jesus who has radically changed your life. Make Him real to them by example. Titus 3:4-8 5. Don’t try to allure them with a “free ticket to heaven” speech. Salvation is so much more than that. Salvation is Jesus. Hebrews 2:9 6. Don’t use fear as a tactic for conversion. Jesus death on the cross had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with love. There is no fear in love. I John 4:18 7. Don’t pressure your child to make a decision or force them to say some “magic words” that they hope will get them into heaven. 8. Help them to understand that it isn’t the words they say as they pray, it’s a repentant heart that understands their sin and need of saving. Acts 3:19 9. Understand what it means in your own life to have the faith of a child, and then do just that. Have faith as a child. Don’t make salvation complicated in your mind, or in theirs. Believe what Jesus says in His word, that if we confess and we believe~ we will be saved. It’s as simple as that. Don’t add to it or make it hard. I John 1:9, Romans 10:9-10 10. And then pray some more. As a mama and grandma, you can never, ever pray too much for your children and grandchildren. Only God knows our hearts. Only God knows your child’s heart. Don’t try to work out their salvation for them. As hard as it is not to intervene and worry and nag, remember all power and mercy, love and forgiveness comes only from God. And always remember, God’s love for your children and His care for their souls is infinitely greater than your own. You do your part in being that example to your children and leave the rest with Him. Ephesians 3:16-21
4/7/2023
Don’t Lose HopeCan you imagine being the very first person that got to walk into Paradise with Jesus immediately after His crucifixion? I weep at the thought. I can almost picture it, the two of them entering Heaven’s glory. The thief weeping and laughing as Jesus smiles and hugs him. What hope this story gives to us all! A hope of redemption. A hope of new life when all seems lost.
Hope has been the theme of my story since I started this blog. Today I am here to remind you~ Don’t give up hope. Not on a child who has gone astray, not on a loved one who you’ve prayed desperately for, and not on yourself. There are so many lessons from the story of the thief on the cross. The account is only mentioned in one gospel, but the message has a huge impact. The thief did nothing to deserve forgiveness. The thief did nothing to merit him walking into eternal paradise with Jesus. He simply believed. As the scene unfolds, I can see Mary the mother of Jesus weeping at the foot of the cross, but I also wonder about the mother of the thief. Was she there as well? Was she weeping for her son? Was his wife there, or perhaps his sister? Prayers seemed unanswered for the son, the husband, the brother. There had been no repentance. He was being crucified. All seemed lost. This was the end. But it wasn’t. With his last breath he saw his sinfulness. He understood Who Jesus truly was and He understood that only Jesus, the Son of God could forgive his trespasses and take him to heaven. Hope was not lost. Jesus did not give up on that thief. Through horrifying agony and pain, He loved unconditionally. He gave mercy and grace. He forgave. As He took upon Himself the sins of all mankind, the agony and pain He endured were for that thief. They were for your son or daughter, and for your spouse. They were for your brother or sister and they were for you. Whatever situation you find yourself in, keep bringing it to Jesus. Your health. Your marriage. Your spouse. Your children. Your finances. Your past, your present or your future. There is always hope at the foot of the cross. Walk into Easter simply believing that because of Jesus there is hope with every breath you take. Walk into Easter holding on to that hope. Walk into Easter holding on to the thief’s redemptive story. Walk into Easter holding on to Jesus, the Son of God Who gave Himself for you. SCRIPTURE READING: I John 5:13-15 Luke 23:39-43 Psalm 16:8-9, 31:24, 71:14, 112:6-7 Romans 8:37, 12:12, 15:13 I Corinthians 13:7 Philippians 1:6, 4:6 Isaiah 41:10 2 Peter 3:8-9 Luke 1:37 Proverbs 3:5-6 Hebrews 12:2-3 Ephesians 6:10 Titus 2:13
9/9/2022
All Those Fall FeelingsMy mom’s birthday was Thursday. She died in 2003, but it seems like it was yesterday. October is also right around the corner, marking two years since my dad passed away. I haven’t come to the point where I’m able to take my dad’s contact information off of my phone. He died one month before my November birthday. My mom died one week before my birthday. Fall is one of my favorite times of the year, second only to Christmas~
but Fall brings all the feelings with it. I yearn for early cozy evenings by the fire, but I also yearn for mom and dad. Your life changes when you lose both of your parents. It’s like a part of you is missing. You almost feel like an orphan, no matter how old you are. You might have family all around you, yet you still feel very alone at times. And so, I have my dad still listed under “favorites” in my phone’s contacts. His cute picture with his new glasses, always smiling back at me. Sadly, I didn’t realize that after a year my phone would delete all my texts from my dad. One day they were just gone, just like he was. I was crushed. My phone also has an app called “find friends”. Anytime I get to worrying that my husband is running late and I’m wondering if he’s ok, I can look at that app and see exactly where he is. My dad is still listed on that app too, right under my husband. Every day my dad would check in with me. If he didn’t, before jumping to conclusions I would look to see if he was home or just busy running errands. Sometimes the phone will swirl and swirl, looking for a particular person. Every time it locates someone it will show you where they are on a map. As smart as my phone is, it can’t show me dad. It confesses~ “no location found”. Man, that gets me every time. I’ll admit, it brought tears for a long time. Sometimes it still does. But I know it holds no truth, because I know exactly where my dad is, and one day I will join him and my mom and so many loved ones there.* I Thessalonians 4:13-14 I will fall into the arms of my Savior and weep, letting go of all the grief I so readily push down into my pit of “I don’t want to think about this”. You might wonder how I can know. You might be asking yourself how you can know. How anyone can know with 100% assurance that heaven can be your eternal home? That the arms of the Savior will welcome you there? We can know because God’s word promises us exactly that.* Romans 10:9-10, I may have lost every word my dad sent me in a text, but we can never lose the words of God. They are eternal, just as He is.*Psalm 119:89 They are our promises to cling to through every trial we go through, and they promise that if we repent and ask Jesus to save our souls and give us a home in heaven with Him one day, He will.* 2 Corinthians 5:8 My mom and dad are with Jesus. As the air becomes crisp and cozy fires are lit, when pumpkin spice everything is everywhere, I find myself missing them a little more. As much as I miss them, I still have all the precious memories of Fall days that they left me with. The week before he died, my dad told me he was planning a birthday party for me. My tears smile at that remembrance. Fall might be hard for you. The early darkness that comes with the change of time, the cold temperatures and the seclusion can certainly get you down. You miss the sunshine. Missing your loved ones on top of that can make you ache inside. The good news is, this world is not our home and we are never truly alone. *Romans 8:38-39, I am not an orphan. I am a child of God. *John 1:12 You are a child of God. His words of comfort are always available. He always knows exactly where you are, because He is right there with you. He knows your thoughts, He knows your heart. He knows your aching and He knows your rejoicing.* Psalm 139, Philippians 4:6-7 We don’t have to wait until we get to heaven to fall into our Savior’s arms and let all our grief and sadness go. We don’t have to push it down into the pit of “I don’t want to think about this”. We can give it all to Him right now. In fact, He wants us to do exactly that.*Psalm 55:22, 1 Peter 5:7, Matthew 11:28-30, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, Psalm 23, 46:1-2 Whatever hard feelings Fall holds for you, with it’s falling leaves or falling snow, falling rain or… falling back into the darkness of daylight savings~ Remember these words and cling to them~ Fall into His arms. FALL into His arms.* Matthew 10:29-31 FALL into the arms of Jesus. What hope that holds and what comfort it gives~ because I know~ that’s exactly where my mom and dad are too. *John 16:33, Psalm 31:24
7/15/2022
Religion Does Not Love YouI have this Bible app that I love. I can listen to God’s word with beautiful music playing in the background. It’s normally so comforting, but today it was not. This app also tells you the amount of time you have spent in God’s word each month. My performance was very lacking. When I saw it, I felt like a little girl getting a bad report card. I felt shame. I grew up with a religious view of God. Like the magnificent statues in my church when I was little. Beautiful, but cold. The first time I saw the Wizard of Oz, I imagined that that was what God was like, the Wizard. Scary and unaproachable. Somehow He broke through my view of Him to show me His love and mercy and grace. I had no problem understanding that I was a sinner the first time I heard someone talk to me about Jesus. I knew I did bad things. I may not have committed murder or stolen from anyone, but I knew that I was quite the little professional when it came to lying. And I knew that was wrong. In my adolescent mind, I understood that my sin separated me from God. I wasn’t worthy to come into His presence. Some might think that I was merely scared of God because of that thought pattern I was taught from a young age~the fear of His Kingship. I don’t. I believe the moment that someone opened the Bible and showed me my sinfulness and need of repentance and how very much God loved me~was the moment His Holy Spirit broke through all my barriers and spoke to my heart… because that fear had kept me from believing that He was loving and approachable. That fear had lied to me. The day I understood that His love for me was so incredible was the day that changed my life. I think religion tends to make it too hard. In our human minds we believe it must be a process for us to gain approval, because deep down we understand how bad we truly are. We might not want to admit it, but we know. Here are some facts God wants us to realize~ ~It’s not hard, we need only the faith of a child. How simple is that? ~We are all sinners. ~Our sin separates us from God. ~There is nothing we can physically do to “earn” our way to heaven. ~God loves us. ~God sent His Son to earth to save us from ourselves. To save us from our sins. To save us from hell. To close that gap of separation between us and God. ~God’s Son Jesus was born in a manger and died a horrific death on the cross of Calvary. He took every one of our sins upon Himself that day. Every sin from our past, every sin from our future. ~God’s salvation is a free gift to all, a gift that cost Him everything, a gift that we must receive. It isn’t enough for us to say that we believe Jesus died for us. It isn’t enough to say that we know God is loving and forgiving. In complete repentance and surrender, we must receive His gift. ~What does that look like? A heart that is truly sorry for their sin. A soul that says~ God, I am all yours, please forgive me for my sin and save me. A thankful spirit that praises God for the ultimate sacrifice of His Son’s death on the cross. ~A person that knows God is their Father and they are a child of the King. A prayer that will change a person’s life forever. The complete assurance that you are God’s child for eternity and nothing can change that. I thank God at the age of 12 someone explained that to me. I saw God differently that day. No longer a fearful statue. No longer an unapproachable King. But a Father Who loved me. It’s been over 50 years since that prayer and yet, there are many times that my old religious thought patterns sabotage me. Times I think everything has to be just right before I can have a prayer session with God. Times I convince myself I messed up big time and He is angry with me. Times like today when I feel my performance is lacking. Perhaps for many of my younger years religion was taught more than repentance. Religion more than relationship. Performance over personal. I am sure it was always with good intentions, but God is so much more that a perfect checklist of good deeds that we must do to gain His approval. Too often we miss that in our churches. He is a God Who meets us where we are and it is crazy to me that I am realizing this more and more, the older I get. The many people Jesus went to in the gospels were imperfect sinners just like me. And Oh, how MUCH Jesus loved them. They weren’t religious, they weren’t perfect. They were me, and they were you. He has saved my soul and I know that I will always be His child because the Bible tells me this truth. I also know that I will mess up every day because I am human. Unlike the statues in my old religious settings, God became human for me in the form of an innocent perfect baby. He grew up loving the imperfect and lowly, like me~and He died on the cross for me. During His time here on earth, He knew what it was like to be me and He loves me. And He knows what it’s like to be you. And He loves you too. He understands, He forgives but most important~ He loves. Religion will not save your soul. Jesus will. All you have to do is ask. And for eternity you remain His child. I will not allow fear to lie to me. The Holy Spirit comforts my heart continually and shows me that my loving Father understands the month I have had, because He has been right here with me through it all. Not only does He understand, but He meets me here in my weakness and He gives me strength and peace. Not based on performance. Based solely on His incredible love for me. That’s Who my God is, and today I needed that reminder. I am not worthy because of religion. I am not accepted because of performance. I am loved because of Jesus. No matter what. Religion does not love you. Jesus does.
4/15/2022
It’s In The ExpectingWe always hid Easter baskets for our kids when they were little. They absolutely loved finding those baskets, even when it got too hard and they were prompted with the timeless hints of “hot” and “cold”.
Why did they love it so much? The expecting. They were expecting a basket full of joy because of all it held inside. What are we expecting? Sadly, many of us have grown cold. We have gotten farther and farther away from the joy that comes in the expected. And in the coldness, time spent with God has become a duty. Church should never be just a duty. It’s not a job where you clock in and clock out. It’s not a “Christmas and Easter only” facility, yet that’s how many of us view it. What are we expecting when we walk through the doors? Are we expecting God’s presence to wash over us as we sing to Him? As we hear His words, are we expecting those words to change our heart and soul? Are we expecting those words to bring life? Or, do we simply attend expecting nothing at all and leave with the same emptiness we had before we came? Clock in. Clock out. Three days after Christ was crucified a heartbroken Mary went to His tomb. What was she expecting? She wasn’t expecting emptiness, yet that’s what she found. She found emptiness because she wasn’t searching for life. Mary could have left that day with a continued emptiness. With a heavy sorrow. What was different? Unlike so many of us, in her emptiness Mary realized how desperately she needed the Savior and it was in that moment that He revealed Himself to her by simply saying her name. Mary. And she knew. He was alive. His presence washed over her and her heart was changed. The tomb was empty but her heart was full. Life can get hard, but it doesn’t have to be. God is always prompting us to draw closer. We don’t have to remain cold. Just like a child searching for and expecting to find a basket full of joy, let me encourage you to expect the unexpected this Easter. What can make the difference? Search for life. The difference comes in the expecting. An empty tomb. A risen Savior.A life changed. A heart full. A basket full of joy because of all it holds inside. What are you expecting? Whatever you are looking for is what you will find~and everything you’re looking for can be found in Christ.
4/8/2022
Is Heaven Far Away?I listened to his breathing. Tears fell unashamedly from my eyes. It was excruciating to hear the labor with every breath that was drawn.
My heart yearned for heaven for him. I didn’t want him to leave, but I did not want this pain for him. So many of us have lost loved ones in the last few years. Death seems to be on the forefront of social media, as well as the prayer chains in our churches. Sorrow upon sorrow have hit so many. It has hit me more than I care to think on. I saw a picture recently that brought it to my mind once again. The sign read~”We know you would be here today, if heaven wasn’t so far away”. I understood the heart behind the words, but I rejoiced in the truth of God’s word and what a difference it can make in the believer’s life. If you have lost a loved one this might sound like your reality, but my friend~it is not. Heaven is not far away at all. Heaven is only one breath away for the believer. One last breath and you are in the presence of God. There is no waiting. 2 Corinthians 5:8 Just a breath. My scripture reading has been in the book of Job lately. A book that I desperately need God’s help to wrap my mind around. God never fails. I asked my husband why some preachers act like it’s so wonderful that in the end, Job got a double portion of everything he had previously lost. Job 42:12 Everything except his children. Every one of Job’s children had been killed. I could not wrap my mind around the idea that yes, Job had more kids, but they could never replace the children he had lost. My husband’s answer convicted me. God did not replace the children that Job lost, because they were not lost. He would see them again. 2 Samuel 12:23 How often do I forget this when I think on all those that I loved so dearly who have left this earth? They are not far away at all. They are as close as my last breath. Sweet friend, Jesus died on the cross to give us eternal life. Do we dare look at the cross and tell Jesus it is not enough? That what He endured for us wasn’t enough? When we work harder at being good, always hoping it’s good enough. When we give more to the church, as if trying to buy our way in~that’s exactly what we are telling our Savior. The words of Jesus become null and void in our representation of earning our way to heaven. His words~”It is finished”. God tells us that absent from the body is present with the Lord, and that the only way to be in His presence after death is through Jesus finished work on the cross. I John 5:12-13, Luke 23:43, Hebrews 7:25. Our repentance, His forgiveness. Romans 10:9-13 Once that’s our reality, Jesus tells us that no one can pluck us out of our Father’s hand. John 10:28-29. We have a home in heaven one day with our God of mercy, grace and love. No question. Immediately in His presence. And so my friend, rejoice in that truth. We might not understand why God chooses to take our loved ones when He does. Job 42:3 We weep, but so did our Savior. He understands our emotions because He lived them. John 11:35 We sorrow because we love, but we sorrow with the hope of heaven bringing light to our sadness. 1 Thessalonians 4:13 And knowing this~ we don’t ever have to be afraid of death, or feel as if God and Heaven are far away. Psalm 49:15, 1 Corinthians 15:54-58 If you are sorrowing today, ask God to bring the light of hope to your sadness. Your loved one isn’t far at all. Heaven is only one breath away.
3/26/2022
The Story Of JesusThere’s something magical about stories and stairways when you are a child.
My daughter recently sent a picture of my two granddaughters playing on their stairs. What is it about stairs that are so intriguing when you’re little? That picture sparked a long ago memory in my mind of a story and illustration in a childhood book my mother used to read to me. A book that ignited my little imagination to the far away worlds I could travel or the little mama with her baby dolls that I could become~ all on those stairs. My own stairs hold many special memories, even as an adult. Today they lead me up to my own bedroom where grandchildren nap, or play dress up with my clothes. They lead me up to quiet mornings spent talking to my Savior. But before that they led me up to the reality of my little girl dreams. To bed time stories and talks about Jesus. To sweet goodnight kisses and childhood prayers. They led me to my children. When I think on it, there’s something magical with every step I take because it brings me right back to a faraway world of a little mama, and the book she read so long ago. A book that changed her outlook on a simple set of stairs. And I cannot help but think of another book~ God’s word~ and wonder how many mamas are taking the time to read that book to their own children. A book that can change their outlook for eternity. A book that can lead them and teach them of a not so far away world called Heaven where they can always have a home with their Father. I’m reminded of a mother who read the incredible story of Noah’s ark to her son. When she finished, her son innocently asked her a simple question~ “why weren’t there any children on the ark?” Her reply was heartbreaking ~ “Their parents didn’t make sure that they were.” That hit my own heart hard. Yes, spend time with your children. Play with them. Let their imaginations dream up far away lands and dreams come true, all while playing on stairways. Read to them to spark that imagination but don’t ever forget to read the most important book of all. God’s word. Make sure they know the greatest story of all. The story of Gods redeeming grace and love and the gift of forgiveness through his Son. The story of Jesus. One day I will go up those stairs for the last time. That day could be today, or many years down the road. I will leave my children and my grandchildren, because Jesus will be calling me home. He will smile and hug me and welcome me there. I want to make sure that I took every opportunity to tell them the story of Jesus and how to have a relationship with Him that is real. That when my hands let go of theirs, there will be no apprehension because I will know my Savior is holding them when I no longer can. Don’t wait to read God’s word to your children. Don’t wait to tell your children about your Savior. They are never too young, and they are never too old. Talk about Him every single day. Tell them the story of Jesus. Write on their hearts every word, Tell them the story most precious~ Sweetest that ever was heard. How often my stairs led me to my children. Our job as mamas is to lead those children to Christ.
3/11/2022
What Hinders PrayerWhat Hinders Prayer
Fair warning~this will be a long post, but it is one that I feel is so important and needs to be addressed. Please bare with me… *My mind has been ruminating on the words I wrote last week. The little things that God kept nudging me about. Why did my prayer life feel so hindered again today? My mind seemed to be everywhere, except on the words I longed to speak to my Savior. Everything kept it wandering, from what I needed to do that day to my grumbling stomach~ and even my grocery list. And I pondered. Why was I so easily distracted? Along with that, my ladies Bible study was on the topic of pride for two weeks in a row. Then the preacher (aka my husband) touched on it in his message. The verse of the day warned against it and I knew God was obviously trying to show me something. I searched deep within my heart. I truly did not feel I had a pride issue, (even though I now realize how prideful that sounds) and yet God continued to bring it up. I almost argued with Him. I know everything I have comes from Him. I am nothing. The words I pen are not my own, they are His. In my humanness I was searching for pride issues in the wrong areas. But still He nudged, so I continued to ask Him to please show me. Today He did. My eyes were opened to something I never even realized. Despite my arguments, I knew I had pride issues. And I repented. I cannot tell you the amount of times in my 56 years that I have “felt” as if God was silent. Times where prayer seemed like a struggle or like my words were just bouncing off the ceiling. The closeness with Jesus was not there. Yet, every single time God was there. He was not far away, despite my feelings. He always made this known to me~sometimes He showed me the reasons in big ways, and sometimes He showed me in the tiniest ways. Today I give you some of those reasons to ponder. Things God has revealed to my own heart in times like these. The first and most important reason we may feel as if God is far away~ We aren’t truly His child. This isn’t a “religion” thing. This isn’t a “come to my church” thing or become my “denomination” thing. This is God and His words. We are NOT all God’s children. (John 1:12) The world might like to repeat that feel good phrase, but it is not true. God in His word tells us that the ONLY way we become God’s children is through His Son Jesus Christ who died for our sins on the cross. (John 14:6) No religion and no amount of confessionals can get you to heaven. No good works can help you gain favor in God’s eyes and no amount of repetitive prayers can magically turn you into His child. (Ephesians 2:8,9) Only Jesus. Jesus and His forgiveness of our sins through grace. The end. This is the absolute most important thing you can ever do. If you cannot recall a time in your life when your heart truly believed this and you asked Jesus to forgive you of all your sins and to save your soul (Romans 10:10-13), please friend~ get that settled today. Become God’s child. The second thing that hinders prayer is unconfessed sin. (Psalm 66:18) When we become God’s child we don’t automatically stop sinning. We are human. Whether it is intentional or something we don’t even realize, we will fall short because we aren’t perfect. (Romans 3:23) Only God is perfect. Because of this, it is important to always check our hearts and make sure we aren’t holding on to something that needs our repentance. Just like my pride. Ask God to show you. Believe me, He will. And once He does, tell Him you’re sorry. (1 John 1:5-10) I cannot emphasize this next one enough. DON’T. GIVE. UP. Too often when it comes to our prayer life, we give up too quickly. If we don’t feel close to God or our prayers aren’t answered in a timely fashion, we just stop praying. (James 4:8) Don’t allow this to be the case. Keep on praying and don’t stop. Even if you feel like you are talking to a wall. You aren’t my friend. God is right there. There are a myriad of reasons you might feel this way, so don’t give up until you get a hold of God and He breaks through the walls that are hindering your prayer life. And speaking of reasons why we “feel” this way is exactly that. Our feelings. Too often we base our prayers on the way we feel. Sometimes we need to look at it like marriage. I mean, let’s be honest~ I don’t always “feel” like being married. I don’t always “feel” like talking to Mike and let me share a little secret with you~ I don’t always “feel” like listening to him talk to me. Does that mean we are no longer married or that I no longer love him? No. It’s the same with our prayer life. We can’t base it on our feelings because we are sinful, wretched humans with crazy, sometimes erratic feelings. But, praise God we are loved and forgiven humans. Humans that God has unlimited grace, understanding and mercy on. (Hebrews 4:15) From the time we become His child, we forever remain His child (John 10:28, Jeremiah 31:3, 1 John 3:1) and He forever remains our daddy who never, ever leaves us no matter how we might “feel”. (Hebrews 13:5) So what do we do when our feelings do get in the way? When we don’t feel that closeness despite our persistence in prayer? We dig deep into God’s word. The Bible is literally God’s love letter to us. (Psalm 1:2, 104:34, 119: 48, 97, 99, Joshua 1:8) I can guarantee you that if you take the time to sit and read His words of promise, comfort, peace and love~your heart will change. (Matthew 6:21)Your prayers will have the solid rock to be built upon.(Matthew 7:24-27, 16:18, Psalm 18:2, 61:2, 2 Samuel 22:2-3) A strong foundation instead of weak feelings. Don’t trust your feelings. They lie. Trust God’s word. (Proverbs 3:5-6) God will always show you something new in His word to help you, if you stay consistent in the asking and don’t give up. I can’t even count the number of times His word spoke directly to my heart. It felt like my eyes were opened. Almost as if I was seeing something for the first time and a heavy weight was lifted. Giving everything to God is so freeing. The more you read, the more you get to know Him and the closer to Him you become. And you love Him. You suddenly realize He isn’t a far away God up in heaven somewhere but is as near to you as your very heart. Always with you. Lean in to Him. He never left. Our feelings just got in our way. And last, why does my mind wander so much? I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s one of two things. I’m either anxious and worried, so my thoughts continually stray to the things I’m worried about. If that’s the case then I’m probably not trusting Christ with the situation and having faith that He will come through for me. Instead, I’m trying to figure out how I can fix it somehow on my own. And the second reason is simply because I’m a spoiled, unthankful child living in a generation full of other spoiled, unthankful children. I don’t have to beg God for my safety from another country bombing my town. I don’t have to beg for food or shelter. I don’t have to hide in order to read my Bible. Instead of being heavenly minded, I sit in my warm bed with a hot cup of coffee in my hand, an iPhone on my night stand and a bible on my lap. And my mind wanders to earthly things. (Matthew 6:21, James 4:2-3) Funny how our prayer life can change drastically when heart ache hits close to home. Our minds don’t tend to wander when we’re on our knees before God begging for His help. If we would just remain faithful in every season and learn to be thankful in remembering the thousands upon thousands of ways God has blessed us, our minds would be on Christ and not everything else. Too often we simply take Christ for granted. If you search your heart and none of these areas seem to be an issue for you then I encourage you to hearken back to my words from last week’s post. Perhaps through it all your Savior just wants you to stop and to be still in His presence, until His presence is fully known and you realize all you ever needed was Him. I realize this post may have stepped on a few toes. Truthfully, my toes needed stepping on. Prayer should never be ritualistic. It shouldn’t be about what we get or don’t get. It should be about spending time with our closest friend. Laughing with Him, crying with Him and being still with Him. Just like every other area of our life~ It should be all about Him because He is everything to us.
2/18/2022
Holding On To TearsHappy memories can dance through the recesses of our minds and bring so much joy to an ordinary day. Memories give us hope, because we can see the entire picture that the happiness was painted around.
Tears can stay with us as well. Just as much as the happy memories can linger, so can the memories that brought us tears. When I set my mind on one or the other, it amazes me how many of those moments come flooding back. The good and the bad. The moments that brought tears are so distinctive to me. Some have stayed with me from a very early childhood. They are etched into my brain and I can remember them like they were yesterday. Kindergarten and the first death of a beloved pet. The stinging words of a supposed friend. Having to move for the first of many times. My parents fighting. My parents separation. Leaving all my friends and moving far from our country home to a city filled with people. A heart broken by young love. The cool girl with her mean words. The word cancer and the death of my grandfather after a year of hospital visits and treatments. Watching the agonizing pain and heartache my mother was going through every single day because of it. Leaving my family to move 700 miles away. The words “your child will have birth defects. Termination is an option”. More moves. Losing my best friend. The mama tears of watching your children through every phase of their lives as they face all the same heartaches you did. A crushing betrayal. 10 wasted years of unforgiveness. Losing my mama. Death upon death upon death. Losing my daddy. Unanswered prayers of a begging heart. Too many tears to mention. In those moments I did not want to hear~ “God does everything for a reason” “We can’t have rainbows without rain”. Or any of the cliche things that people say, because they don’t know what to say. In those moments I just wanted to cry. And I wanted someone to cry with me and understand my pain. Tears are very lonely. Tears have a profound impact on us. Heartache can shape our souls if we allow it. Our days will be filled with misery or bitterness, anger or resentment, self pity or loss of hope. Sometimes even the loss of our will to live. And when the tears beat down on us day after day after day, sometimes we give up the fight, because there’s no fight left in us. But. If we continually look back at our life we can have hope again because we can see that somehow when we truly believed all was lost, God brought us out to the other side. We were never alone. (Joshua 1:9) He was always with us, we just lost sight of him through the tears that blurred our vision and blinded our hearts. Whatever might be causing your tears today will be a memory for your tomorrow. God does not just paint the beautiful pictures of happy moments. He paints His goodness and peace and comfort into every heartbreaking moment we go through. One day you will look back and see the entire picture God had painted. His word tells us that He puts every one of our tears in a bottle, and writes them all down in a book. A bottle is a container. It holds things. Every single one of your tears are precious to Him and when you thought you couldn’t hold it together any longer and it was the end of your story, He was holding you and writing what you didn’t think you could. (Psalm 56:8&9) Yes, if we set our minds on the heartache we will be overcome by the grief and so, our loving Heavenly Father and Friend bids us~ set your mind on things above. (Colossians 3:1) Time passes so quickly and the moments that I thought would break me are the moments I see God putting His loving arms around me, picking me up and carrying me through. (Psalm 34:18&19) I feel the comfort He gave and the peace that overcame the heartache. (John 14:27) I see that He did answer my prayers, despite the tears that blinded me in those moments. And I look ahead to the day I am in His presence when His loving hand will wipe away every single tear that has fallen from my eyes. (Revelation 7:17, 21:4) Each tear He holds in His bottle sets my heart on things above. Each tear reminds me of my Savior’s love. Each tear reminds me that He wept along with me and understands. (John 11:35) Each tear reminds me that my Savior suffered for me, yet He did it with joy. (Hebrews 12:2) Each tear reminds me that I am never ever alone, and as I look back each tear reminds me of the beautiful happy moments God created for me through it all. Because each tear makes every happy memory so much sweeter. And the happy far outweighs the sad. (Psalm126:1-3) Don’t hold on to the tears. Let Jesus hold them. You hold on to the good. Every single good memory~and just believe. You will see His glory. (John 11:40) because everything good and everything perfect always comes from God. (James 1:17) And because He is writing your book, and every story He has ever written always has a beautiful ending. (2 Peter 1:19, Psalm 139:1-18)
1/21/2022
Let Them Be LittleRemember when they wanted to be held?
Remember when they snuggled? Remember the make believe days when fairies were real? When bad became good with just one kiss? When beds became forts, and pillows were made for happy dreams? Remember when they thought they could fly? They believed in fairy tales and kingdoms. They played with dolls, and built cities with Lego’s. They played outside for hours. On tire swings and monkey bars. Or just staring at cloud shapes that came alive to tiny eyes. And you loved the innocence their lives beheld. Remember when you would tuck them in and they would smile and giggle and say this was the best day ever? Remember when they were little? Remember when they got sick? One child after another? When fatigue had you crying right along with them? Remember when they were sad and the tears of their tiny broken hearts was more than you could stand? Remember when dreams became bad, and they didn’t want to go to bed at night? Remember the peer pressure and teasing and the sadness that ensued? And you hated that sin had made life so cruel. Remember when you tucked them in, and they begged you not to send them to school in the morning. Remember when they realized they couldn’t fly? Clouds were just clouds. Fairy tales weren’t true. Dolls were for babies. Remember when they weren’t little any more? Remember them now. Remember the times they had to go through heart wrenching circumstances in their lives, with their own little families? With their spouses? Remember the nights you sat alone with your husband in the very house they were raised in, and shed tears for the heartache your adult children were facing? Or could be facing even now. And you cried more than you ever did from fatigue when they were little. Remember the helplessness you felt because this was life? This was adulthood. This wasn’t something a kiss could make better. And you hate that sin has made life so cruel. Let them be little mama. Let them be little for as long as possible. Don’t fall into the trap of making your oldest responsible for your youngest, when he’s just a baby still himself. Don’t tell your children to grow up. Don’t yell at them for ‘not thinking’. Don’t expect them to react like an adult. Let them be little, because you will blink and the heartache this world throws at them will break your own heart. And then you will wish they were little again. Don’t dwell on the bad days. You are mama. The same mama who helped them believe in fairytales and made their childhood days the best days ever. Remind your adolescent and adult children of the beautiful days. Show them there will always be a kingdom, one far better than a fairytale could ever capture. Luke 1:33, Isaiah 9:7, Psalm 145:13, Daniel 7:27. Show them the sunshine through the clouds. Encourage them to see those beautiful shapes. To lay down and rest once in a while. To play and to believe in good again. Because God is always good, and his kingdom is being prepared for us even now. John 14:2, Psalm34:8, Psalm 100:5, Psalm 107:8, Psalm 145:9, And His goodness will always, always prevail against the bad. And He loves them more than your mama heart ever could. And then, as hard as it might be, choose to believe that yourself. And give Him those tears you cry for them. Knowing how much He loves you as well. Let them be little mama. Show them they can fly. Even when they aren’t little anymore. Remind them of how much God loves them. Remind them that He will never leave their sides, that He is in control even when they can’t see the good. Help them believe in that good again. And remember that He is holding them when you no longer can. And as they fall asleep at night, be that mama that made them believe that pillows were made for happy dreams again. The mama that whispered encouragement to their grown up hearts. The hearts that once held so much innocence. Be the mama that continually reminded them that day~ That every day can still be the best day ever.
12/31/2021
What Is Your “Because”?It’s going by too fast. Faster than I want it to. Fear of the swiftness grabs a hold of my heart. I try to reach behind me and grasp at it, but it has already moved past me. Time. I want more time. Time with my kids and grandkids. Time with my best friend of 36 years.
What happened to this year? What happened to this Christmas season? What happened to yesterday? I want it to slow down, but it pays no heed to my desires. This year I watched as beloved friends lost their best friends and soul mates, and it crushed me. How could they move on? Is that the reality of what we thought would be our “Happily Ever After”? To fall more in love as each year passes, to grow old together and then to face the heartache of losing one another? Of losing your whole life? And then, the other night I watched as the story of Christmas came alive on television. And the message spoke to my heart. It went beyond the good tidings of great joy to a message of hope for all mankind. A message of hope because of Jesus. Do not be afraid. That message was spoken to Zacharias, to Joseph, to Mary, to the shepherds. The beautiful message tucked away within the pages of Christmas. Do not be afraid. That message spoke to me. I watched the television as Mary, the mother of Jesus, lay close to death. I couldn’t help but think how excited she must have been with the knowledge that her life was drawing to an end. The fear of death did not grip her. She did not try to grasp at the past, because she knew Who was waiting for her. Her Son and her Messiah. What love her heart held for Him. And it humbled my own heart that the love I have for Him does not reach that level as it should. I used to pride myself in the fact that I wasn’t afraid of death, because I had no doubt a home in heaven awaited me. Not because of anything I had done, but because of everything Jesus did for me. As each year passes, the reality of death has changed for me. I realize that there is a fear~not for myself~but a fear of loss. Loss of what I hold so dear. And I do not want to face it. I fear the loss of my husband. I fear the loss of time. Time that goes too quickly. Time that I want back. Death has become so much more real to me as the years go quickly by. If my eyes are not on Jesus, fear can consume my thoughts. But the angels words whisper to my fearful heart over and over again. Do not be afraid. God speaks those very words so often in His word, that it is easy to pass them by. Just like time. To not be intentional in the regarding. The regarding of every minute of every day. The regarding of choosing to truly hear God’s words spoken to a fearful heart. Do not be afraid. If God allows, next year I will be writing words of encouragement as another year ends. Next year. It will fly by even faster. I will look back and wonder where the time went. And so, I will purpose in my heart to let the message of this Christmas season soak into my soul. Do not be afraid. I don’t know what next year holds. So much can change, but God’s words will never change. They will be a constant until I behold Him in glory. I will cling to His unchanging promises as I step into the future and I will choose to believe them. Do not be afraid. Why? Because~ Jesus.
12/17/2021
Not A Day~ But A DelivererShe sat in catechism and listened to the story she had heard every year on Jesus birthday. The story of a Savior being born to save His people from their sins. Her eyes wandered to the Christmas tree and it’s beautiful twinkling lights. As her teacher spoke her eyes gazed upward to the star on top of the tree and then down, down to the manger where the little baby lay. In that moment, it was almost as if the words of that familiar story came alive.
God came down. Down to earth from heaven for me. I was beginning to grasp the significance of a religious story I had heard my entire childhood… And today, I cannot help but think of another little girl. Sitting in a synagogue on the Sabbath, hearing a story of the promised birth of a Savior who would one day save her people. A story that had been told for over 4,000 years. A promise she had been taught her entire life, having no idea the significant role she would have in that promise. We know the story. That story of Christmas. That story of Jesus. We rejoice this time of year. We thank God for sending us such a gift. But to some~ it’s just a religious aspect of Christmas. A story. Have we truly grasped it’s meaning? Even though Mary had been taught the scriptures, (Isaiah 7:14) she did not grasp the truth of what she had been taught. When the angel Gabriel told her that she would be the one to carry the Messiah, her simple words~”How can this be?” reveal this truth. Thousands of people have read her very words and know the significant miracle of that moment, because we have read the last chapter. Mary did not and yet, she received it. Despite an unknown future, she put her faith and hope completely in God. When Gabriel explained the very scriptures she probably knew by heart, she believed the words spoken to her. And that moment changed her entire life. I am sure as the months went on, the significance of Who she carried so close to her heart became even more real. I am sure she wanted to tell everyone in her little town that the coming Savior was alive inside her, and I am sure that no one believed her. We know this because we have read the story. Mary and Joseph traveled alone to Bethlehem when she was 9 months pregnant. No room in the inn despite the fact that everyone (including family and friends) was required to go there to be taxed. Maybe they rolled their eyes when she spoke of the One she carried so close to her heart. Maybe they thought- ‘She’s taking this Jesus thing a little too far.’ Or maybe they were kinder in their reasoning. Perhaps they thought that this whole “Savior thing” might be what SHE believed, but it wasn’t for the them. It must have been incredibly hard for Mary to hold such a Miracle inside. I am sure she wanted to tell everyone that everything they had been taught from scripture was coming true, and yet no one believed the truth in her words. Pondering the thoughts of Mary brings me to thoughts of my own little town. It’s very easy for me to sit down and write something for hundreds to read~ ladies I will probably never meet. It’s very easy for me to hide behind a social media screen and be brave in the words that I pen; but actually stepping out of my front door and telling that story to my little hometown is something entirely different. My town. There’s a comfort in those words. I love my tiny little town so much. And I wonder~ what do they think about the words that I write? Do they look at me and think~ ‘she’s taking this Jesus thing a little too far.’? Or maybe they reason~’that religion thing might be okay for HER, but it’s not for ME.’ Maybe the story of Christmas Day is one they have heard in church their entire life, but for them it has never come alive in their own heart and soul. A day but not a Deliverer. We can be taught “religion” our entire lives and still not fully grasp the truth of Christ. We can have a basic concept of church and the meaning of Christmas, but not have His new life living inside of us. I’m not here to tell you that once you receive The Gift of Jesus life magically becomes better. Heartache has hit home for me time after time. Health issues have been prevalent. No, life doesn’t magically get better, but I know Christ is right there with me through everything. I am never alone. He has given me strength when I couldn’t stand and joy when heartache was all too prevalent. And despite an unknown future, peace and hope in Him. A peace and hope He longs to give all of mankind, if we will put our faith in Him. Do I take this Jesus thing too far? Perhaps some might think so, but can I tell you that in my heart of hearts, I can never take it far enough because Jesus took his love so far for me. His love reached down from glorious heaven to a sin cursed world. Without His love there would be no hope of heaven, because there would be no forgiveness of sins. His love went from heaven to earth, from a manger to the cross~ For me. For you. That magnificent love took our sins as far as the east is from the west, farther than our finite minds can ever comprehend. “For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich.” 2 Corinthians 8:9 “As far as the east is from the west, So far hath he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12 The knowledge of this changed my entire life. But it wasn’t just the knowledge, it was the very fact that Jesus is alive and that love lives inside of me. My heart longs for you to understand these tidings of great joy. The greatest joy. My heart longs for you to receive His gift this Christmas. Not the gift of religion, the gift of God. Forgiveness of sins, a home in heaven, a Savior with you always, through everything. The only Gift that will change your entire life. “Then was our mouth filled with laughter, And our tongue with singing…The LORD hath done great things for us; Whereof we are glad.” Psalm 126:2-3
10/2/2021
Glory! Glory! Glory!Our sweet uncle David went home to glory on Thursday evening. As I prayed about what to post, this particular one came to mind immediately. I had written it a few weeks back as an encouragement for those who might be going through a personal darkness. For those whose mind is racing when the rest of the world is fast asleep. And for those who might not be able to sleep, even though they are physically exhausted. It is something that I often practice. Instead of counting sheep, I go through the alphabet. As I think of each letter, I sing a wonderful, old hymn of faith to each one. I praise God for the words and for who He is and for the peace that only He can give. Sometimes I will go letter by letter and quote verses to match as well. Every time God allows me much needed slumber.
Our uncle David loved music. It was his life~and what a beautiful life it was. I will never forget a particular song that he had picked for the choir to sing one Sunday. I had never heard it before and it moved me beyond words. Years later, I still weep when I hear it~ ”Were You There When They Crucified My Lord.” Today I weep for my Aunt Cindy, for their daughter Chelsea, for our hurting hearts~ but I also weep tears of joy~ for uncle David is now in heaven shouting~ “GLORY! GLORY! GLORY!!” I pray that these old hymns of faith and the simple prayers of praise that accompany them will help you focus on praises to your Savior and will bring comfort, peace and much needed slumber to a tired soul today. All Hail the Power of Jesus Name~I praise you for the power in your name. Blessed Assurance Jesus is Mine~I praise you for the assurance I have that nothing can pluck me out of your hand. You are mine! What a thought! Calvary Covers it All~I praise you that your blood shed for me at Calvary covers every sin. Past, present and future. Day by Day (and with each passing moment, strength I find to meet my trials here)~I praise you for the strength I find in you through prayer and reading your word. Every Day with Jesus is Sweeter Than the Day Before~I praise you that when I am walking with you, every day becomes sweeter. Face to Face~ I praise you for the day I will see you face to face. When grief and pain are banished, and replaced with rejoicing for eternity. Great is Thy Faithfulness~I praise you that you are faithful, even when my faith is lacking. Have Faith in God~I praise you that even when I feel the darkness winning, you whisper to my tired soul “Have faith in Me”. I Have Decided to Follow Jesus~I praise you for leading me beside the still waters. Jesus Is the Sweetest Name I Know~I praise you that I can call upon your sweet name at any time and in any place. Keeps Me Singing As I Go~I praise you for the song of deliverance you have placed in my heart. Love Lifted Me~I praise you that your love lifted me out of the depths of hell. Make Me a Blessing~I praise you that I get to share your blessings on my life to bless others. Nothing But the Blood~I praise you that your blood washes away every sin. If my eternal destiny were in my own hands, I would utterly fail. Oh How He Loves You and Me~I praise you for a love that transcends any human idea of love that I have ever had. Peace, Peace, Wonderful Peace~I praise you for the peace you give me that passes all understanding. Quiet Rest (Near to the Heart of God)~I praise you that you are not a far away God, but a loving Father who is right here with me in the darkness. Revive Us Again~I praise you that I can call upon your name and lift this country that I love so dearly in prayer to you, asking you for revival. Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus~ I praise you for the freedom to stand up for you daily, despite the wickedness this world may throw at me. Take Time to Be Holy~ I praise you that even among the chaos, I can get alone with you and take the time to be in your very presence. Under His Wings~ I praise you for the shelter, love, protection, comfort and peace that is found under your wings. Victory in Jesus~I praise you for every victory I have in your name and for the victories yet to come. WERE YOU THERE~ I praise you that you rose up from the dead, that you conquered death and that for all eternity I will shout “GLORY, GLORY, GLORY!” eXpress (My Tribute)~I praise you for all the undeserved things You have done for me. The voices of a million angels could not even express my thankfulness. Yesterday He died For Me~I praise you for dying for me, but also for living for me. Zions Hill~ I praise you that one day I will run to you. I will hug you. I will weep for the burdens that have been taken off my shoulders and the freedom I find in your presence. I will fall at your feet on Zions hill in praises to you.
7/17/2021
The Comfort Of TraditionsI wore my mom’s wedding dress when I got married. I can remember staring at her wedding picture as a child and thinking she looked like a fairy tale Princess. I always thought it was so beautiful and elegant. I had a Christmas wedding complete with fur muffs, Christmas trees and Christmas carols. It was such a fun day. When my daughters were ready to pick out their own wedding dresses, it never really bothered me that they didn’t want to carry on a tradition of wearing my mom’s dress. On their wedding day they took a new name because they were beginning a new life, one that would start with the dress of their choosing. I thought about that wedding dress this week. I thought about my parents and how they raised me. I thought about the traditions we shared and the comfort those memories brought. And I thought about all the ways God continues to bring up the concept of “comfort zones” in my daily life. This week it came up in an area that I never really thought about before, that of traditions. There is comfort in traditions. I am a traditional girl, a creature of habit. I am the kind of person who would have no problem eating the same thing for breakfast and lunch every single day for the rest of my life. I find a level of comfort in monotony. Here’s the thing~Satan knows that. For me, when week after week goes by where that routine is constantly being interrupted, I can easily feel like my life is spinning out of control. We all have our “areas”. Satan knows where our comforts lie. He knows our personalities and what would disrupt our lives and make us unhappy. He also knows what gives us a false sense of security and comfort. He knows how important traditions are to humans and without us even realizing it, he uses that against us. Here’s the crazy thing~ One of the biggest areas Satan uses to trick our souls is a tradition many of us think of as good and needful. Our religion. I’m going to make a bold and somewhat scary statement here~ He WANTS us to be religious. He makes us believe that our traditional upbringing and bond is so strong, we could not nor should not ever change~ even if we know deep in our hearts that something is missing and that our upbringing might not be teaching the truth of God’s word. We end up choosing comfort. That routine that makes us feel secure. I am not here to promote one religion over another. I am here to promote Jesus. I am here to promote God’s word. I am here to challenge you to open the Bible and find out why you believe what you believe and based on the truths in scripture, decide whether the tradition you have stayed with for so long truly lines up with what God says in His word. John 5:39-44 The devil will be more than happy to make sure you never open your Bible. He’s more than happy to make sure you stay stuck in a tradition that is not truth. He’s more than happy to lie to you and tell you you’re good, don’t worry about it. Colossians 2:8, Mark 7:7-13 But we aren’t. We aren’t good. Romans 3:23 Satan wants you to be religious because often the people who are the most religious don’t have a relationship with God, God the Son Who took all the sins of mankind on Himself and died for you on the cross. Romans 5:8 The basis of their entire religious experience is tradition and trying to be good enough to someday enter heaven. Titus 3:5 My heart yearns to tell you that there is SO MUCH MORE. You can have a real relationship with the Son of God. You can know Him personally. You can talk to Him any time and anywhere. Hebrews 4:14-16 He can be your most trusted, intimate friend. A true friend. A real friend. The ONLY mediator between you and God is His Son Jesus. Not a man, not a reverend, not a preacher, pastor or priest. I Timothy 2:5, I John 2:1-2 Just Jesus. He can be your comfort. All the comfort and security you would ever need. John 14:26 Today I urge you~ please don’t remain stuck in traditions. You may think it’s your comfort zone but it’s not a lasting comfort. It’s not a comfort for eternity. I love my mom’s wedding dress. The memory of me wearing it is even more precious to me now because my mom is in heaven. That’s the comfort I’m talking about. Without a single doubt, the knowledge and security of a home in heaven one day. John 14:1-6 Not because of tradition, not because of religion but because of the love of Jesus. Jesus, Who took away my sins on the cross. and forgave me. Romans 3:24-25, 6:23, John 3:16, 2 Corinthians 5:21 Just Jesus ladies~ and the new life that HE can and will give you the day you call on His name. Jeremiah 33:3, 2 Corinthians 5:17
6/5/2021
I Want To Go BackSome days I want to go back.
Back to when I was tiny and didn’t know about life. When I watched the love my mom poured into being a wife and mother, cooking and cleaning with pure contentment. When she would read to me or hold me when I was crying. When I believed everything would be okay, simply because she told me it would. When I had no cares except for what dress my baby dolls would wear or what flavor ice cream I would choose. A childhood filled with magic and make believe. A childhood filled with extraordinarily beautiful moments. Back to the days when mom made everything cozy and safe. I wish my younger little me could’ve understood how incredibly important those moments were. I wish I could’ve held on to them longer. Some days I wish I could go back to that first look. That first kiss. When the innocence of romance was far from reality. When there were no bills and no quarrels. When my world revolved around him and the love we shared. When he was the only person my eyes could see in a room full of people. When my heart would flutter with each smile and nothing mattered except him. When I put his needs before my own without a second thought. When the weight of life and the heartaches to come were non existent. When I thought that spark and excitement would last forever. Some days I wish I could go back to when they were little. When mommy was their world. When they thought she was the best and the smartest and had all the answers. When she could fix every problem and heal every boo~boo. When mommy was who they turned to when hearts were breaking or secrets were shared. When I watched them as they slept and felt my heart might burst for love of them. When they were safe in my care, under our roof. When I thought they would think of me this way for always and no matter how many years might pass, they would forever be my babies. Some days I wish I could go back to that day. Turning the corner and catching my daddy deep in thought. So deep he didn’t notice I was standing there. I wish I would’ve asked what he was thinking about more often. I wish I asked more questions about his childhood or what it was like raising my brothers and me. I wish I had asked what made him buy a farm and a horse or move back to a subdivision. I wish I had asked questions that might not have been important at the time but answers that would be so precious to me now. I wish I had asked how he was able to live again after mom passed because this is the toughest thing I’ve gone through. Living without them. Perhaps all those things are exactly what he was so deep in thought about. Perhaps he was wishing he could go back to when life was simpler and happiness came in bundles. Happiness we took for granted. Why is it that we don’t realize how important moments that make up our memories truly are until they are only memories? Memories that we can only visit in our hearts. Moments that we beg our children not to take for granted. Moments we want them to learn from now instead of later. How badly I wish I could go back to those moments in time and hold on to them and truly understand and cherish the beauty of each one. Never taking a single one for granted. Always thankful. Always being present. Always loving with my everything. Spending more time in those moments instead of in my head where the to~do’s and tomorrow’s came to visit too often. We can’t go back. But I can love like my mama on my grandchildren. I can make my home a place where they will always feel safe and cozy. I can’t go back to that first kiss but I can remember and recreate. I can choose to be selfless in my love for him and dwell on all the unbelievable goodness our marriage has held, and all the joy we have yet to look forward to. I can’t go back but I can always be that mom who points them to the answers in God’s word, who prays for them when their heart is breaking, who comforts them when secrets are shared. I can be that mom who tells them don’t take one second of your beautiful life for granted. I can be that mom that knows that no matter their age or where they might be, they are safe because God is holding them when I cannot. I can’t go back but I can look forward to the incredible joy I will one day encounter when I enter heaven’s glory and get to hug my Savior. When I get to let go of all the sadness, heaviness and grief as He holds me there. When I get to say thank you for all eternity, and it still won’t seem like enough because of all he’s done for me. When I get to see my loved ones that I have missed so deeply and know without a doubt how happy they are and have been and will forever be. And maybe that’s the lesson God has for us. To stop wishing on that past and start living for eternity. To look forward. To cherish more. To be present. To teach and to not take anything for granted and most importantly to look ahead to the home He has prepared for us. That beautiful home where our most cherished memories and moments will seem like nothing special at all compared to the glory we behold. That home. The home where happiness and joy will never cease and will always come in bundles.
4/2/2021
Feel The Weight. Know The JoyIn the last week I have been asked a very similar question on two separate occasions. The question went along the lines of~ What has God done for you this year?
I am embarrassed to admit that both times my mind went blank. My immediate thought was~He took my dad. And for some reason I couldn’t get past that. I didn’t want to answer. I wanted to get up and leave the room, partially because younger family members were waiting for my reply and partially because I’m a pastor’s wife, so shouldn’t I have my act together? Shouldn’t I come up with a million things God has done for me? I could have plastered on a fake smile and given a rehearsed, cliche answer on God’s abundance. I knew all the right words to say. In my heart I know He has given me countless blessings, but in that moment that was all that I could think of. My dad. He took my dad. As I contemplated what to write for a post this week I knew that I wanted it to go along with Easter, but again my mind was drawing a blank. For some reason I had writer’s block. I mentioned it to my husband only minutes before I was asked for the second time~ what has God done for you this year? I went down to my bedroom later and felt shame that I hesitated and could not answer in a way that would glorify my Savior. As I lay in bed in the quiet darkness that night, I mulled over that question again and again and I truly believe God answered me. A tender compassionate answer full of mercy and grace, patience and love~ Yes I took your dad Charisse, but that’s not the end of your story. I took him to heaven. I brought him home. Not only is he in the presence of the many loved ones that have gone on before him, but he is in My presence. That has given Me joy. He is home with me. And I wept. If it wasn’t for Easter. If it wasn’t for the horrific death Christ endured on the cross, my dad wouldn’t be in heaven today. The breathtakingly beautiful part of the glorious story of Easter doesn’t end with the horror of that death. It begins with life after death and the incomprehensible knowledge that~ Jesus did it all with joy. He was beaten and nailed to that cross. He hung in agony as He took the sins of all mankind upon Himself. He died for me and for you and he did it with joy. Did you get that? Do you truly understand that? He did it with JOY. Why? Because that’s how much He loves us. That’s how much He loves my dad. That’s how much He loves you. No matter what we go through or how hard our circumstances are, I have this hope to cling to~ Jesus did it with joy. For me. If I had to do it over, my answer would be so different. God has done so many amazingly beautiful things for me each and every day. I know there will always be trials, there will always be sorrow and pain, sickness and suffering. There will always be heartache in the permanent form of death, but none of these things are the end of our story. Love is. Jesus is. Heaven is. And Easter is our promise of that joy. What has God done for me this year? Everything. He’s done everything. And to know that He has done it with joy makes my heart sing. A love like that is almost unbelievable. How do I know it exists? I know because not only has He told me in His word, He continually reminds me when sorrow makes my heart forget. I truly believe God gave me writer’s block because He wanted to be the author and finisher of my faith. Easter is the perfect first chapter. It’s ending is a beginning. A beginning overflowing with pure love and absolute joy. Easter. For the joy that was set before Him He endured the cross that we might become the children of God. My dad is partaking in that reality in heaven even now. I get to partake of that reality here on earth. All because of Jesus. And because of that reality, my story has only just begun. “Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God...” 1 John 3:1 “For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:26 “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2
3/27/2021
Palms and PromisesWhoever finds a palm tree first gets a pickle...
I don’t know where my granddaughter Clara came up with this game, but we all started laughing. Five grandkids in the back of our vehicle, only minutes away from our vacation destination. The excitement could not be contained. It got me thinking about Palm Sunday and the excitement Easter holds, and I couldn’t help but think of the verse~ “eye hath not seen, nor ear heard... the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him.” I Corinthians 2:9 Do you know what I like about Palm Sunday? Despite knowing the future anguish Christ would endure for all of mankind, God did not stop there. We can praise God for the promise of Easter and the knowledge that one day in heaven we will have eternity to shout Hosanna! So today, I’d like to share with you a place, a problem, a Person and a promise. I’d like to tell you about a place. It’s a place that isn’t popular to talk about in this “feel good” generation, when so many are scared to even go out of their homes, and just want to escape into the unreality of television and social media. It’s a place whose destination has been joked about, and even bragged about at times. It’s a place called hell. It isn’t great material for jokes, it’s a horrifying place of fire and darkness. It’s real and it’s eternal. (1) It’s a destination for all sinners. There will be no so social gatherings there. There will be no parties or camaraderie. Only torment and pain. (2) The cost of our sin. (3) I’d like to tell you about a problem. The problem that lies within each and every one of us. A problem we are all born with, myself included. (4) That problem is sin. From murdering to the little white lie, sin is sin. None of us are sinless. I am as much a sinner as the murderer on death row or the sweet, little old lady down the street. (5) Being a pastor’s wife does not make me exempt. No one is exempt. There is nothing we can do, no good deeds we can accomplish, no church we can attend, no charity we can give to that can take away that sin. (6) And because of the depravity of our sinful hearts, the punishment for that sin is separation from God and eternity in hell. (7) I’d like to tell you about a Person. The only sinless Person Who took all our sins upon Himself so that we would not have to face that punishment. That Person isn’t me. It isn’t my pastor husband. It isn’t the priest or the preacher down the street. That Person is Jesus. (8) Born in a manger, He took the form of a human baby for the love of a people who don’t deserve it, but desperately need it. (9) Jesus Who, with joy endured the brutal beating and death on a cross to save our wicked souls from eternity in hell. (10) Jesus Who rose again from that death and sits on the right hand of God the Father, making intercession for us, praying for us even now. (11) That person Who we owe everything to. That person is inviting you to a promise. (12) I’d like to tell you about that promise. To believe. To have faith in that belief that Jesus took your sins upon Himself on that cross. (13) To joyfully except His invitation by repenting and turning away from the blindness sin has caused (14) in allowing you to somehow be fooled into thinking that hell isn’t that bad, and heaven isn’t that good, and Jesus death was just a bible story for little kids in Sunday school. The lie that the Bible and church is for religious people or fanatics and that you’ll be just fine, because you aren’t that bad a person. You’re actually pretty good. There is nothing good about us. (15) Our hearts need the grace only Jesus can give. (16) Our hearts need the faithful believing that His shed blood on that cross washes away sins. (17) Our hearts need sorrow for that sin and repentance. Our hearts need Jesus. (18) And once we have Jesus, He promises us that we are forever His child. Nothing will ever separate us from Him. He promises us a home in heaven when we leave this earth. He promises to never leave us or forsake us. He promises to be with us always. (19) A palm tree and a pickle. A place, a problem, a Person and a beautiful promise. Are you excited about your destination after death? We have hope in the Person and His promise. Freedom from the fear of death. (20) The hope of heaven and not hell, but so much more that that~ The hope that we get God. We get Jesus. Our Father, our Friend, our forgiveness. Our Savior. We get a love beyond anything our human hearts have ever, or could ever comprehend. (21) Yes, there is a place and a problem, but there is a Person with a Promise. And that embodies peace. (22) (1) Psalm 11:6 (2) Luke 16:22-31 (3) Romans 6:23 (4) Romans 5:12 (5) Romans 3:23 Revelation 21:8 (6) Ephesians 2:8-9 (7) Romans 5:10 (8) I John 2:2, 4:9-10 (9) Philippians 2:7 (10) Hebrews 12:2 (11) Romans 8:34 (12) Revelation 3:20 (13) I Peter 2:24 (14) 2 Corinthians 4:4 (15) Romans 7:18 (16) Romans 5:15 (17)I John 1:7-9 (18) 2 Corinthians 7:9-10 (19) Hebrews 13:5 Matthew 28:20 (20) I John 4:18 Hebrews 2:14-15 Romans 15:13 (21) Ephesians 3:16-19 (22) Philippians 4:7 “I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart: and I will glorify thy name for evermore. For great is thy mercy toward me: and thou hast delivered my soul from the lowest hell.” Psalms 86:12-13
1/4/2021
Finding The Good In The GrievingFINDING THE GOOD IN THE GRIEVING
I realize this is a very long post, but I ask you to bear with me because once again, I’m going to be brutally honest here and admit some things I’m dealing with. Things I don’t want to think about, let alone write about. But things that God has given me to help me through this. Steps that I think can truly help others. I know many of you have been anticipating 2021 since March of 2020. It’s been a year of horrors, and people desperately need to believe everything will change for the better in the coming year. But I am struggling. Thanksgiving and Christmas~ decorating shopping, wrapping, baking, Hallmark movies and Christmas music~ all of these things masked the deep ache of grief in my heart. I didn’t want to face it just like I don’t want to face 2021. I don’t want to move forward. My heart wants to go back in time. I’m facing the responsibilities that go along with losing your last parent. Packing up a lifetime of memories my dad held on to. My memories. I don’t want to go through his drawers and cupboards and make the hard decisions on what gets thrown away, or given away, or kept. I want to keep it all, right down to the tape dispenser and air freshener he recently purchased. No, my heart doesn’t want to move forward. Instead, I want to go back in time and just sit with him there in his living room. Laughing about something funny my grandchildren did. Sharing a chocolate. Reminiscing. I want to see his red Jeep outside my front door as he stops by for his daily check in. Always smiling. I want to tell him one more time how much I love him. I know many of you are in the same boat. This year has taken so many loved ones. The heartbreak has been unfathomable. In the past 5 months I’ve written 7 posts on a variety of things that can change your life for the better. Today my own heart longs to be changed. I don’t want to be sad. I don’t want to mask the pain with busyness or superficial happiness. I don’t want to continue to push it down into the recesses of my soul and pretend it isn’t there, always looming over me like a black cloud. I don’t want to dwell on “what if’s” and “could have been’s”. So how? How do I move past this deep ache of grief? I understand that everyone deals with grief differently. My own personality does not want to read someone else’s words on how to deal with grief. The devil knows this. He knows our personalities and he will use our own deceitful hearts against us. (Jeremiah 17: 9) He tricks me into believing that I am unique in my pain and no one can possibly understand enough to write anything that will help. But he is wrong. God has continually been tugging at my heart. He will never leave me. (Hebrews 13:5b) He will not give up on me~ even when I feel like giving up on me. He is always whispering to my sadness~”I am right here Charisse.” (Romans 8:38&39) And so, today I want to share some simple things God has used to comfort me. I am a work in progress. My words are not the ‘end all’ solution. They are a day by day choice. Every single day has new challenges and I know I am facing some even harder ones in the coming weeks. 1. Ask God for help- As I have said in my previous ‘life changing’ posts, my number 1 tip will always, always, always be to ask God for help. You will never conquer the next 6 steps if you do not take this very first one. (Psalms 16:11, Romans 8:26, John 14:16-18, 26, I Peter 5:7) 2. Stay in Gods word- The minute I slip away and allow other things to come before, or even replace my time spent talking to God or reading His word is the minute the heartbreaking grief takes control. (John 15:11, I Thessalonians 5:17) Every morning I must get out of bed and choose joy. (Nehemiah 8:10) Choose God, His words, His promises, His peace. Some days when I wake up I just know it’s going to be a good day. I smile. I tell myself I can do this. Other mornings, I just want to hide under the covers and sleep the day away so I don’t have to deal. I don’t know why one morning can be so different from the next, but these are the days that I must choose wisely. I must choose God. Which takes me back to point number 1. I cannot do this in my own strength, so on days like this I cry out to Him and ask Him to help me. Some days I am silently begging Him for help over and over and over again. Even though the day may feel like it was the worst day ever, when I lay my head on my pillow that night I realize I made it through, but only because of Him. If we could see our lives the way God can~if we could understand how horrible things would have been without His continuing presence~we would realize that even on our worst days He was right there with us and got us through it. (Jeremiah 33:3) Tomorrow is a new day. (Psalms 118:24) 3. Face your grief- as much as I don’t want to, I have realized that I cannot pretend my dad is just gone visiting my brothers. I cannot push the pain down deep and not think about it, because in doing so the pain will remain debilitating. I must face it, and in facing it a myriad of other steps come into play. 4. Cry. Talk it out. Ask for help and prayer- We should not feel shame for the grief we are going through. We do not have to pretend we have it all together. We need to cry and not bottle everything inside. This is an area I have a hard time with. I do not want to cry because I do not want to cause my children worry or sadness and I don’t want my grandchildren to see me sad. I have realized that this not only makes the process harder, but drags the grief out longer and longer. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, for someone to just come and sit with you as you talk about what you’re going through or just need to reminisce. (Galatians 6:2) There is nothing wrong with asking others to please pray for you when you are having a bad day. (I Thessalonians 5:25, James 5:16, Matthew 18:20) There is nothing wrong with crying. (Psalms 56:8-13) There is nothing in the Bible that says that we shouldn’t cry, only that we should not cry as if we have no hope. (I Thessalonians 4:13) Which brings me to my next point. 5. Eternity- God has given us this amazing, unaltering hope through the shed blood of His Son Jesus on the cross. Eternity. If we believe that Jesus died and rose again, if we in repentance accept His gift of salvation~ God promises us eternity with Him in heaven. (I Thessalonians 4:14) My daddy did this and I have the full assurance from God’s word that my dad is at home in heaven right now. (Romans 6:8, John 14:2, I John 5:13, II Corinthians 5:8) If I choose to focus on my dad instead of myself~ it changes my whole perspective. Why would I choose to wish for him to be here with me, when he is in the very presence of his God? His Heavenly Father who loved him so greatly that He sent His Son to die for Him? My cousin so sweetly reminded me of this on Christmas Day. His very words were~”he is celebrating Christ with your mom right now.” My parents are celebrating Christ, and what a celebration!!! They are in glory. No more pain. (Revelation 21:4) Only praises. (Psalms 89:5, Luke 15:10) 6. Focus on the good and be thankful- This can be a hard one because when we focus on the good and happy memories, they often bring the tears as well. I know there will come a day when my tears turn into happy, thankful tears. And so, I will remember all the happy times. All the moments turned into memories. The moments that wouldn’t seem particularly special at all to anyone else, but hold beautiful happiness to me. Moments that I thank God for. (Philippians 4:6) As much as my heart hurts and wants those moments back, if I continually remember step number 1, I know that God will help me to be thankful and to see how amazing it was that I had all those silly, special, mundane moments with my dad here in Caseville the last four years. 7. Live every day as if it were your last- (Psalms 90:12b) We do not know what tomorrow holds. (James 4:14) We aren’t promised tomorrow, or even today. Knowing this, and with God’s help, I am moving into the future. Today. January 1, 2021. I am resolving to live every day to the fullest. To see the beauty in every single thing~ whether that’s the snow storm in our forecast, whether that’s the silly things my husband does that tend to irritate me or my aching back that I threw out putting Christmas decorations away~ I am asking God to show me the good in every singe thing. And my friend~ there is SO MUCH GOOD. (James 1:17) Beautiful, fresh clean snow. A picture of a new beginning. A husband that loves me despite all my irritating qualities (like putting away heavy Christmas boxes without asking for help) and then waits on me hand and foot. Time spent sitting with him because, as much as I want to, I can’t move. And realizing how precious this time of doing ‘nothing’ is. I am resolving to truly be present for my grandchildren. To stop and listen to their childish babbling and soak in every word. To play with them and create beautiful moments they can someday remember and be thankful for. So I will ask you~ how do you want your friends and your loved ones to remember you right now? Today? If you drew your last breath as you fell asleep tonight, just as my dad did, would they remember sadness or would they remember joy? Not a masked happiness but the true joy that only comes from God? I want my friends and loved ones to remember joy. I want my husband and children and grandchildren to remember my laughter. I want them to remember me smiling, just as I will always hold the memory of my dad. My sweet, precious dad outside my front door in his red Jeep. Smiling. Smile again with me my friends. I promise, God can change your life! Ask Him to help you find the good again.
11/20/2020
Heaven On EarthI made my daughter a pot of chili the other day. It’s one of her favorites. She sent me a text later that read~” this chili tastes like heaven in my mouth”. 😂😂
I needed that laugh. It got me thinking~ What does heaven on earth mean to you? To some it might mean the comfort of a hot bowl of soup or a slice of deliciousness drenched in chocolate. To some it might mean cuddling with your spouse on date night. To some it might mean having your entire family home for the holidays. And to some it might mean freedom from crippling depression or anxiety, no more worry over pandemics or politics. Just peace. But what does heaven on earth look like to Jesus? It doesn’t look like my yesterday’s have looked this month. Grief has left an emptiness but it has also left empathy. Thousands of women are wishing and praying for a glimpse of heaven on earth as the holidays approach. This week as I read the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:9-10 “thy will be done~ on EARTH as it is in HEAVEN” they had a different meaning to me. Heaven seems so much closer to me as every year passes, but Jesus doesn’t want heaven to only be something that we look forward to ‘someday’. He wants us to live and experience heaven on earth today. So I asked Him how. Through the darkness of grief, how do I live heaven on earth? He opened my heart to hundreds of possibilities and this post was the very first way. Sharing the immense beauty of heaven with others who are going through depression and sadness or stress and anxiety. I needed to get myself up, dust myself off and realize that my grief is not unique. I needed to focus on others. I needed to focus on Jesus. Simple acts of serving and loving are a huge way of living heaven on earth. Two words that perfectly describe Jesus. He was constantly serving during His ministry here on earth and then with a sinless, pure, unconditional love~ He died in the cross for all humanity and it’s only because of Him that heaven is possible. Philippians 2 In order to experience heaven on earth we must realize our great need for God’s presence, provision, love, redemption, grace, peace and mercy. Heaven is Jesus. Plain and simple. Every one of us needs Him. When I fixed my thoughts on all these things, the beautiful light of heaven and God’s glory broke through my dark and empty heart and through the praise and thankfulness of worship I truly felt heaven on earth. And that made me want to share that joy and happiness with all of you. Everywhere we go we have the opportunity to share a piece of ourselves. We can choose to share sadness or grumpiness and allow it to rub off on everyone we come in contact with or we can choose to switch our focus to Jesus and share the crazy joy and happiness that He gives. Do we even realize the power our attitudes hold? Can you imagine if we all chose to share the good? To share the light of Jesus and His joy as the holidays approach? That’s heaven on earth guys. Love, joy, serving, sharing. Jesus. We are His body. Let’s make sure heaven is shining from the inside out bringing glorious light to all the darkness so many are going through today. If you are feeling the weight of that darkness, let me introduce you to Jesus. Let me help you experience heaven on earth. Reach out to me today and allow me to share from God’s word what that means. And if you already know Jesus, worship Him right now in this moment. Thank and praise Him. Share His beauty and joy. Feel heaven wash over you today. Let’s carry it with us wherever we go and through everything we do because joy is the serious business of heaven, the joy that only Jesus can bring. Colossians 3:1-4 Romans 14:17 Psalm 34:8 Psalm 16:11 Revelation 22:5 Revelation 21 “Joy is the serious business of heaven.”CS Lewis.
11/12/2020
The Sweetest VisitIt was the sweetest visit.
The time went by way too fast, but it was precious. Three full years, almost to the day. Right down my street. He came and he stayed, with no rush or agenda. Just sitting, visiting and reminiscing. We laughed so much. Sometimes we cried. We went on Father Daughter “dates” and drank the best cup of Main Street coffee (his favorite). I rocked with him every summer night on his porch. I signed every note and card “Daddy’s Little Girl”. He told me so many stories about his life that I never knew. I didn’t think I could love him more than I already did. His visit changed all that, and my love grew deeper every day. I wanted happiness for him, yet even through the fun times and the laughter, there was always a bit of loneliness in his eyes for home. For his sweetheart. At times I could tell he was physically in pain, but he would never complain. He always smiled. He always laughed. He joked with me and he worried about me. Each conversation was like a comforting hug. Each “goodnight text” and each “good morning” Santa emoji made me smile. I knew he wouldn’t be able to stay long, but in my heart I had hoped it would be longer. He didn’t like goodbyes, so the day he left shouldn’t have been a surprise. He wouldn’t have wanted to say goodbye. He wouldn’t have wanted any sadness, so he quietly left. He went home. Home to his sweetheart. Home to his Father. I didn’t want him to leave. The pain seems unbearable to not have him here with me anymore. I wonder if the tears will ever stop. At times I am completely broken and feel I can’t go on. He moved in, right down my street on October 6, the week of Homecoming. We got to watch the school parade together. He got to see his great grandchildren marching and calling “Hi Pops!” Three years later on October 8 he left. The week before Homecoming. Homecoming. Now he is truly Home. And I think of him and how happy he is to be there. No more pain or loneliness or sadness. His little girl could never have taken that away from him while he was here, no matter how hard I tried. I’m so thankful God gave us that three year visit. What a precious, happy time. I know without a doubt that I will see him again. I will get to go to his home and it won’t just be a visit. We will have eternity to laugh together with our Heavenly Father. No more tears or sadness, pain or loneliness. It was the very best visit. Every day mattered. I’m so glad I realized that sooner than later. I’m so glad I rode my bike down to his house every day. I’m so glad I cooked him meals and took him to doctor appointments. I’m so glad he got three wonderful years with his grandkids and great grandkids. I’m so glad I didn’t have to say goodbye. It was just a visit and I will see him again soon. He isn’t gone forever, just for a while. Thank you Jesus for allowing him to visit me. Thank you Jesus for writing me a love letter that gives me the assurance that this was not goodbye. Thank you Jesus for preparing a home for him. Thank you Jesus for preparing a home for me. Not a home on Prospect Street in Caseville. A home on streets of gold. Next door to my daddy in the presence of our Father. He isn’t home in heaven today because he was such a great dad or grandpa. He’s not home because he went to church or tried his best to be good. He’s home because of Jesus taking away his sins on the cross. He’s home because he knew he was a sinner that needed a Savior. Jesus transformed his heart and life. All of us are truly just visiting. This world isn’t our home for eternity. We don’t ever have to say a final goodbye. I’d love for you to know that you can have a home with my dad and my Heavenly Father someday. I’d love for you to meet the man that made my heart so happy and the Father who’s joy is my strength. We can be free of the fear of death because of Jesus. That’s something my daddy would’ve wanted you to know. No sad goodbyes. Just a sweet and precious visit.
11/2/2020
ARE YOU FATHERLESS?The raw humanity of grief has overwhelmed my soul the last few weeks. My heart feels such a hurting emptiness. My emotions have gone from despair to anger to joy, almost as if I’m on a roller coaster. Despair that I will never say I love you to my dad again, or visit with him on his porch. No texts, no meals together, no more reminiscing about the beautiful life God blessed us with. Despair at the feeling that my childhood has been taken from me and I am left alone without the comfort of a mom or a dad to love me, as only a mom and dad can. Anger when others have told me God won’t give me more than I can handle. Anger that someone would tell my kids they shouldn’t be so broken hearted. Anger when others have told me my dad wouldn’t want me sad, or how much sweeter heaven gets every day. My selfish heart wants that sweetness back. My selfish heart wants them here with me again. I am ashamed to even admit this. I know in my heart that the despair and the anger are not where God wants me to stay, but I also know He understands. He understands the despair. He understands the anger. When you lose someone you loved with all your heart, He understands the tears. The tears fell this week. I cried out to God. I told Him I don’t want to be strong, I just want my dad back. I begged God to help me. As I cried out to Him, somehow through the tears and the despair, through the anger and the weeping~joy came. Psalm 30:5b Joy because God showed me how very much He loves me. His love is infinitely greater than my own. It’s infinitely greater than the love of my mom or my dad. God’s love is greater than life itself. As I wept over the fact that I lost my dad so close to Christmas and that we would not be sharing our favorite holiday together, as I tried to hold on to hope amidst the ache my heart felt~God reminded me of a song my daughter sang last Christmas Eve. A song my dad loved. I have listened to that song over and over again this week. The words have filled me with unexplainable joy~ “Wondrous Gift of heaven, the Father sends the Son. Planned from time eternal, moved by holy love. He will carry our curse~ and death He’ll reverse~ so we can be daughters and sons. Who would’ve dreamed, or ever foreseen that we could hold God in our hands? The Giver of life, born in the night revealing God’s glorious plan. To save the world. To save the world.” He knew the pain of death and separation from our loved ones would be a pain we could never bear on our own. He knew the sin of the world would bring death. And so~ He sent His Son. God sent His Son to save the world. He sent His Son to save me. He sent His Son to save you. That is the joy I will focus on. The joy of the wondrous gift God gave me. The gift of His Son. He reversed death and gave me the gift of eternal life in heaven with Him. The gift of being carried home to my people someday. The gift of being in the presence of God almighty. The gift of falling into the arms of my Jesus, my Savior and my Redeemer. The gift of knowing that my mom and my dad are in Gods presence even now. Because God gave His only begotten Son. The rawness of my broken heart will probably never go away until the day I see Jesus, but I will cling to that joy in the brokenness because those I miss so very much are in the presence of Jesus. And one day I will be too. I can never stop thanking Him for such a beautiful gift. I miss my dad~ but I am God’s daughter. He is a Father to the fatherless. He is my Father, a Father of infinite love. Love greater than life itself. |
© 2020 HOLDING HOPE