Holding On To Tears

Happy memories can dance through the recesses of our minds and bring so much joy to an ordinary day. Memories give us hope, because we can see the entire picture that the happiness was painted around.


Tears can stay with us as well. Just as much as the happy memories can linger, so can the memories that brought us tears.


When I set my mind on one or the other, it amazes me how many of those moments come flooding back. The good and the bad. The moments that brought tears are so distinctive to me. Some have stayed with me from a very early childhood. They are etched into my brain and I can remember them like they were yesterday.


Kindergarten and the first death of a beloved pet.
The stinging words of a supposed friend.
Having to move for the first of many times.
My parents fighting.
My parents separation.
Leaving all my friends and moving far from our country home to a city filled with people.
A heart broken by young love.
The cool girl with her mean words.
The word cancer and the death of my grandfather after a year of hospital visits and treatments.
Watching the agonizing pain and heartache my mother was going through every single day because of it.
Leaving my family to move 700 miles away.
The words “your child will have birth defects. Termination is an option”.
More moves.
Losing my best friend.
The mama tears of watching your children through every phase of their lives as they face all the same heartaches you did.
A crushing betrayal.
10 wasted years of unforgiveness.
Losing my mama.
Death upon death upon death.
Losing my daddy.
Unanswered prayers of a begging heart.
Too many tears to mention.


In those moments I did not want to hear~
“God does everything for a reason”
“We can’t have rainbows without rain”.
Or any of the cliche things that people say, because they don’t know what to say.
In those moments I just wanted to cry. And I wanted someone to cry with me and understand my pain.


Tears are very lonely.
Tears have a profound impact on us. Heartache can shape our souls if we allow it. Our days will be filled with misery or bitterness, anger or resentment, self pity or loss of hope. Sometimes even the loss of our will to live. And when the tears beat down on us day after day after day, sometimes we give up the fight, because there’s no fight left in us.


But.
If we continually look back at our life we can have hope again because we can see that somehow when we truly believed all was lost, God brought us out to the other side. We were never alone. (Joshua 1:9) He was always with us, we just lost sight of him through the tears that blurred our vision and blinded our hearts.


Whatever might be causing your tears today will be a memory for your tomorrow. God does not just paint the beautiful pictures of happy moments. He paints His goodness and peace and comfort into every heartbreaking moment we go through. One day you will look back and see the entire picture God had painted.


His word tells us that He puts every one of our tears in a bottle, and writes them all down in a book. A bottle is a container. It holds things. Every single one of your tears are precious to Him and when you thought you couldn’t hold it together any longer and it was the end of your story, He was holding you and writing what you didn’t think you could. (Psalm 56:8&9)


Yes, if we set our minds on the heartache we will be overcome by the grief and so, our loving Heavenly Father and Friend bids us~ set your mind on things above. (Colossians 3:1)


Time passes so quickly and the moments that I thought would break me are the moments I see God putting His loving arms around me, picking me up and carrying me through.
(Psalm 34:18&19) I feel the comfort He gave and the peace that overcame the heartache. (John 14:27) I see that He did answer my prayers, despite the tears that blinded me in those moments. And I look ahead to the day I am in His presence when His loving hand will wipe away every single tear that has fallen from my eyes. (Revelation 7:17, 21:4)


Each tear He holds in His bottle sets my heart on things above. Each tear reminds me of my Savior’s love. Each tear reminds me that He wept along with me and understands.
(John 11:35) Each tear reminds me that my Savior suffered for me, yet He did it with joy.
(Hebrews 12:2) Each tear reminds me that I am never ever alone, and as I look back each tear reminds me of the beautiful happy moments God created for me through it all.


Because each tear makes every happy memory so much sweeter. And the happy far outweighs the sad. (Psalm126:1-3)


Don’t hold on to the tears. Let Jesus hold them. You hold on to the good. Every single good memory~and just believe. You will see His glory. (John 11:40) because everything good and everything perfect always comes from God. (James 1:17)


And because He is writing your book, and every story He has ever written always has a beautiful ending.
​(2 Peter 1:19, Psalm 139:1-18)