3/1/2024
Please BewareEvery single day I have to block fraudulent profiles on my Holding Hope page. They usually attach themselves to someone else who has already commented on one of my posts, and seek their “friendship” with kind and inviting words. Their profiles always look professional, and quite often they pose as men in the military or medical field. They prey on women, hoping to catch someone unaware of who they really are. They appear to be one thing, but are completely the opposite. Please beware~
They aren’t your friend. They don’t want to be your friend. They want to steal your identity and destroy you. I couldn’t help but see a comparison. Scripture warns us that Satan is subtle and goes about sneaking and seeking. He gets into our heads. He lies, accuses, corrupts, destroys and steals~all while looking like an angel of light. He preys on our weaknesses, and once he has gotten into our heads he has us believing all his lies. ◦ Lies about relationships and loneliness: telling you that you will always be alone. ◦ Lies about insecurities, comparison and jealousy: she’s better, smarter, prettier, happier. ◦ Lies about social media: convincing you that this is what life is all about, this is what life should be. This is the life you will never have. ◦ Lies about self pity: no one cares about you. No one sees how hard you work. Your life is so hard. ◦ Lies about your job. ◦ Lies about your pride. ◦ Lies about what other people think. ◦ Lies about your spouse and your marriage. ◦ Lies about your church. ◦ Lies about your life. ◦ Even lies about Christ. What is a Christian to do? How can we possibly fight this? If Satan is that subtle, how will we even know what is a lie and what is truth? And that’s why week after week I post scripture. I cannot emphasize this enough~ my words cannot fight off the lies~ but God!!!! His words are power and we HAVE TO KNOW them!! We overcome when we continually draw nigh to God, by the blood of the Lamb, Christ Jesus our Savior. By the testimony of others. By God’s grace. By the power of Christ. By faith. By being rooted and grounded in His love. We overcome by acknowledging God in every single decision, by asking the Holy Spirit to shed light in our hearts and by being strong in the Lord. How do I know this? Because God’s word says so! I reminded you last week that the Christian life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. It’s a battle. We have to know who our enemy is but more importantly~ we have to know who GOD is. Let me tell you just a few of HIS truths: ◦ You’re never alone ◦ You’re eternally loved ◦ You’re who God created you to be ◦ EVERYTHING we need is written in HIS word ◦ Our identity is in Christ ◦ He is our all in all Please beware~Satan wants to steal your identity. He will sneak into your thoughts, comments and actions, all the while telling you lies you carelessly believe. That fraudulent friend request will continually come. Satan will never stop until we are at home in heaven. Every single day, every single thing we need is in Jesus, the Son of God. Hold tight to that truth, rooted and grounded in the love of your Savior, Redeemer, Comforter and Friend. Our God who gave us eternal life. Our God who cannot lie. Seek wisdom and discernment through His word. In all your ways acknowledge Him. His light will not only show you the lies of the enemy, His light will show you the truth. The truth that only comes from the truest Friend. SCRIPTURE READING: James 4:4 James 4:6-8 Proverbs 3:5-6 2 Corinthians 4:4, 6, 8-10 Ephesians 6:10-13 Revelation 12:9-12 2 Corinthians 11:3 John 10:10 John 8:44 2 Corinthians 11:14 1 Peter 5:8-9 Hebrews 13:5-6 Deuteronomy 31:6 Jeremiah 31:3 Ephesians 2:10 Psalm 139:14 Galatians 2:20 Romans 8:37-39 Colossians 3:1-2, 23-24 Galatians 6:3 Romans 8:14-17 Ephesians 3:17-19 1 Corinthians 15:28 Psalm 119 John 15:14-16 Zephaniah 3:17 Titus 1:2-3 Colossians 3:16
4/7/2023
Don’t Lose HopeCan you imagine being the very first person that got to walk into Paradise with Jesus immediately after His crucifixion? I weep at the thought. I can almost picture it, the two of them entering Heaven’s glory. The thief weeping and laughing as Jesus smiles and hugs him. What hope this story gives to us all! A hope of redemption. A hope of new life when all seems lost.
Hope has been the theme of my story since I started this blog. Today I am here to remind you~ Don’t give up hope. Not on a child who has gone astray, not on a loved one who you’ve prayed desperately for, and not on yourself. There are so many lessons from the story of the thief on the cross. The account is only mentioned in one gospel, but the message has a huge impact. The thief did nothing to deserve forgiveness. The thief did nothing to merit him walking into eternal paradise with Jesus. He simply believed. As the scene unfolds, I can see Mary the mother of Jesus weeping at the foot of the cross, but I also wonder about the mother of the thief. Was she there as well? Was she weeping for her son? Was his wife there, or perhaps his sister? Prayers seemed unanswered for the son, the husband, the brother. There had been no repentance. He was being crucified. All seemed lost. This was the end. But it wasn’t. With his last breath he saw his sinfulness. He understood Who Jesus truly was and He understood that only Jesus, the Son of God could forgive his trespasses and take him to heaven. Hope was not lost. Jesus did not give up on that thief. Through horrifying agony and pain, He loved unconditionally. He gave mercy and grace. He forgave. As He took upon Himself the sins of all mankind, the agony and pain He endured were for that thief. They were for your son or daughter, and for your spouse. They were for your brother or sister and they were for you. Whatever situation you find yourself in, keep bringing it to Jesus. Your health. Your marriage. Your spouse. Your children. Your finances. Your past, your present or your future. There is always hope at the foot of the cross. Walk into Easter simply believing that because of Jesus there is hope with every breath you take. Walk into Easter holding on to that hope. Walk into Easter holding on to the thief’s redemptive story. Walk into Easter holding on to Jesus, the Son of God Who gave Himself for you. SCRIPTURE READING: I John 5:13-15 Luke 23:39-43 Psalm 16:8-9, 31:24, 71:14, 112:6-7 Romans 8:37, 12:12, 15:13 I Corinthians 13:7 Philippians 1:6, 4:6 Isaiah 41:10 2 Peter 3:8-9 Luke 1:37 Proverbs 3:5-6 Hebrews 12:2-3 Ephesians 6:10 Titus 2:13
3/31/2023
A Man’s ManAs I post this, we are traveling home from our family vacation. We had been so excited for this vacation together, counting down the days until we finally arrived. My kids, spouses and grandchildren all staying together in a beautiful house right on the ocean.
Three days after our arrival, the entire family came down with the worst stomach flu I’ve ever encountered. Mike and I, and my daughter in law Shannon were the only ones who avoided the “plague”. Parents were too sick to take care of sick kids. This mama was desperate for healing for my family. And then, the day we thought the worst was over and everyone might actually sleep through the night, we were awakened at 4am by startling alarms on all our phones. A tornado warning. Winds were shaking the house and lightning was flashing across the ocean, lighting up the entire sky. And in the midst of that storm, not wanting to disturb incredibly sick kids, my husband stood out on the balcony watching for imminent danger so that he could protect his family. Knowing he was out there watching somehow made me feel safer inside. Many of our adult children were awake and asking what we should do. Could my husband prevent a tornado from hitting us? Absolutely not. But he could calm the storms inside our anxious hearts by watching the ocean for the danger that might be coming. My husband has a way of doing that. There’s a strength about him. He’s the one you can always count on. Always. This seemed to be the perfect illustration of the strength that God gives us during the storms in our life. The protection that only He can give. The comfort and peace among the raging winds that beat us down and the calming faith against potential danger. Oh, how true all of this is. Grab on to that truth. But there’s another bit of biblical advice that I want you to grab a hold of today. Find a man who gives you strength. Pray for a man who makes you feel protected. Someone who doesn’t run from danger or difficult situations, but protects you from them. A man’s man. Sadly that’s something that’s almost unheard of in todays society. Is it even politically correct to say that nowadays? A man’s man? Not a man who embraces his femininity over his responsibility, (although there’s nothing wrong with your man having a tender side, and shedding tears over things that move him) but a man who embodies what scripture tells us to look for in a good husband. A man who loves you like Christ loves the church and gave Himself for it. The world is constantly shouting at women that we don’t need a man, that we can do anything that men can do. Well, I’m over here waving my arms and shouting back! I do need my man and I’m not ashamed to admit that. My husband isn’t perfect. He doesn’t excel when it comes to romance or empathy. We’ve gone through some very hard storms that I wasn’t sure we’d get through. Through those storms I have found comfort in the fact that he is continually going to the One Who is his ultimate example and asking Him for help in loving me better. He continually tries to be a better man. And in doing that, I feel safer. I feel protected and I desire to pray for him even more. Let me tell you ladies, if you are single, that’s the kind of man you should pray for; and if you’re married but your marriage is struggling, that’s also the kind of man you should pray for. There is power in the prayers of a wife. Don’t ever stop praying. Don’t ever give up. Remember last weeks post? Nothing is impossible with God. He can change any situation for your good and His glory. And if you have a man like mine~ a real man’s man~ grab him and kiss him and thank him right now. Praise God that he has given you such a treasure. A man who stands against raging storms in order to protect you. A man who will love you and give himself for you, just like Christ. SCRIPTURE READING: Philippians 3:12 Ephesians 5:25 Luke 1:37 Matthew 19:26 James 5:16-18 Today I’m inviting you to my wedding. I’m sharing a video my son made for us 7 years ago for our 30th anniversary… When you’re young and you fall in love, quite often you don’t think too far ahead. You’re living in the moment. Maybe you talk about children or future plans, but the farthest you get in your thought process is the dream of getting old together, sitting on a porch with a white picket fence and smiling at the wonderful life God allowed you. Lately, I have continually heard the question~ “How did you know he was the one?” It seems to be a recurring theme on sappy Christmas movies. I pondered that as I thought back. It occurred to me the other day that I actually had that vision of Mike and I when I first got married, the whole “growing old, white picket fence” thing. I never saw that future with anyone else. A future where I couldn’t live without him. When I was 20, I never dreamed that someday my crazy, active young man (who could face any challenge and do any thing) would have three major joints replaced within 5 months time. His shoulder, right knee and next week, his left knee. When we’re young, we don’t like to think about the “what if’s” of our futures. What if my husband gets dementia? What if my husband gets cancer? What if he has heart problems or lung problems? What if he is no longer the strong man I lean on, when I really need to lean on him? My husband is my best friend. He’s the love of my life, but I’ll be honest~ there have been times I’ve lost my patience with him. I’ve lost the spark. I’ve misplaced my dreams, the very dreams that we actually got to live out together. I remember that childish girl who promised her forever to the man of those dreams. Our anniversary is this week and I remember my “for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” I meant every word as he held my hands in front of 500 people 37 years ago. Truth be told~ I’m sure he didn’t think he signed up for a wife with all my issues either, but he loves me despite me. This “outward” that we grow old with isn’t truly us, it’s just our physical bodies aging through the process of time. Our true self lies deep within. It is our souls. They never grow old. I fell in love with Mike’s soul 37 years ago. Today I want to encourage you to remember that soul you fell in love with. The soul God placed in your hands to love and cherish. Some days it’s a lot harder to do, but those are the days we need to remind ourselves that our husbands have hard days dealing with us as well. You hold his soul in the heart of your actions, your words, your respect, your passion, your touch, your empathy, your patience your tenderness~ and most importantly~ your love. Remember that young girl who couldn’t imagine a future without him. Whatever you face in the days ahead, whatever reality has squashed the dreams of that naive young bride you once were, don’t let go of that promise to love. No matter what. I wrote the words to that song we’re singing at our wedding. Mike came up with the tune. I cannot believe shy Charisse even attempted to sing it. That’s what love does to you, makes you believe you can do anything. With all your heart, with all your soul~ Make each other believe again this Christmas. Scripture Reading: I Corinthians 13:1-8, 16:14 I John 4:7-8 I Timothy 5:8 Romans 12:9-10 John 15:11-12 Hebrews 10:24
10/28/2022
What Love Looks LikeCan you take out the trash? Can you go to the store? Can you fix the sink? Can you put gas in the car? Can you rub my back? Can you read my mind,
know why I’m in a bad mood without me telling you, be romantic and meet my every need~ while also allowing me to take out every frustration on you? Christmas movies are coming back in full swing. I’ve seen the commercials. I’ve heard the comments. “Same story, different town”. This week I reflected on my own Christmas movie moment 38 years ago. All the mushy feelings portrayed in those commercials, I was feeling that Christmas. And then I thought about today… Each person’s love story is unique to them, but I think the one thing most of us can agree on is that it started out just like everyone else’s. Falling madly in love. Despite the pressures and responsibilities, despite all the stress life could throw at you, you fell in love. You thought about that person constantly. You made time for each other and life seemed to melt away when you were together. Today, 38 years later I realize too often that when life throws the “bad” at me, I take it out on my husband. I either want him to fix it, or I want to rehash all my frustrations without him giving me a practical solution. I just want to whine. And through it all I’m yelling “I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at the situation!!!” This can be very confusing for the poor guy. Sure seems like I’m mad at the world, husband included. I find that I look to him as a resource instead of a relationship. I take his love for granted. I reread one of my own posts this week that asked the question~ “Are you treating your connection to God like a resource instead of a relationship?” When I first posted it, I honestly thought~ Nope! Not me! So God did something a little different to open my eyes. He showed me all the ways I treat my connection to my husband like a resource instead of a relationship. Once He did that, I realized I was doing the same things with God. My mutterings are too often “Please, please, please” and not enough “thank you” or even just sitting still in His presence and loving just being with my Savior. Too often I want happiness, peace, comfort, love and answers to all my prayers~ instead of just God. I take His love for granted. Here is the great takeaway though~ God actually WANTS to do all those things for us because THAT’S WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE. And then I thought of all the things I’m constantly asking of Mike and without complaint, he does them. Because that’s what love looks like. And so, I determined to refocus on my relationship with my husband and with my Savior. I want to pour my heart and soul into those relationships. I want to remember all those feelings I had for Mike 38 years ago when life never got in the way. There is nothing wrong with asking God to help us love more. To love our spouses more, to love God more. The very first fruit of His Spirit is love. So, this morning before I got out of bed I asked God to show me that love in Who He is. To help me not to just go to Him for “all the things”, but to have a real relationship with Him. I opened my bedroom curtains to a breathtaking sunrise. It painted the entire sky with it’s beauty. It made me realize that God is ALWAYS showing me that love in Who He is, I’m just too busy with Charisse to notice. We should be one with our spouses, just as we should be one with God. He is in us and for us. He holds our hands and loves us through everything. As the years pass, let’s not all end up with “same story, different town” in our relationships. Let’s not be so busy focusing on ourselves that we fail to notice the many ways our spouses show us they love us on a daily basis. Let’s bring on the romance when we’re in our 80’s. Let’s love on our spouses just because. Let’s remember all those mushy feelings we had. And let’s not allow our relationship with God to become a resource only. Let’s think on Him constantly. Let’s allow life to melt away when we’re in His presence, let’s notice the many ways God shows us His love on a daily basis. It’s evident in every single thing your eye can behold. A love so great that all the books in the world could not contain the countless ways He loves us. Let’s sit at His feet and adore Him. Because that’s what love looks like. Scripture Reading: Luke 17:12-19, John 21:25, Romans 1:20-21, Psalm 19:1-2, Matthew 22:37-40 *Thats the view from my bedroom window ❤️
10/14/2022
I Am A WomanWhat is a woman?
I am a woman. When I was a little girl, I never would have imagined that the use of that phrase could possibly cause controversy. I am a woman. I am incredibly thankful I am a woman. Not because I am better than a man. Not because I want to shove that sentence in someone’s face. I am thankful because that is who God made me to be~ and I embrace it. Through various movements of the last century, women have been inundated with two requisites. The first~Women are powerful. The second~Just being a woman isn’t enough. We need to “be more” and “do more” so that we can prove we “are more”. The world is constantly screaming “more” in the face of femininity. The concept contradicts itself. I have nothing to prove. I am a woman. Femininity has gone through all the stages. From the genuine love of being a homemaker to~ “I am equal to and even better than man”, to “there is no such thing as a woman”. Wives, mothers and homemakers have been made to feel less than, looked down upon and even ignorant. Definitely not powerful. This morning as I prayed, my own mother came to mind. I pictured her doing “all the things”. Her arm halfway in a turkey on Thanksgiving morning. The ironing board out every Tuesday and the vacuum and mop every Friday. The home cooked meals, the date nights with my dad, the stories read to me before I went to bed each night. She loved every minute of it. I loved every minute of it. And I wept. Not because my mom was weak, brainwashed by society at the time, or even ignorant~ But because my mom was powerful. She gave me the precious gift of a childhood that kids only dream of. She instilled in me a deep gratitude and love of everyday life, the feeling of comfort, security and love. The desire to pass that on to everyone I meet. She had an impact on my life in a thousand different ways. An impact that enables me to say today~ I am blessed to be a woman. I am blessed to be a wife. I am blessed to be a mother. Over and over in scripture God gives us examples of powerful women. Today I read about two. One was a judge. One was a housewife. God used BOTH for His glory. His power was evident in the soft hand of a woman. Woman and man. Male and female. I am a woman. Any earthly accomplishments or possessions I have at the end of this life will only be wood hay and stubble. I cannot take my accomplishments and possessions with me when I die. But oh the power in spreading light through darkness, kindness instead of hatred, finding joy in every moment, loving your husband and raising little souls for God’s kingdom. Little souls that will impact the world for a future we may never see. Souls that can share the light of Jesus. A light that this dark world desperately needs. There is power in that. It doesn’t come from the reserve of an accomplished female who checks off all the boxes this world deems necessary to claim the pronoun “she” today. The power comes from Christ within us. And with that power we can change the world. I am a woman. If I choose, I will dance around the house in my skirts and high heels. I will cook meals and bake goodies with my grandchildren. I will clean my home and be thankful for the million little things God blesses me with on a daily basis. I will love on my husband. I will minister to other women, write blog posts, share God’s word, comfort and love in only a way a woman can do. I will be powerful and I will pass that power of Christ on to the next generation. I will embrace womanhood and shout it from the rooftops, with absolutely no shame. I don’t have to choose my pronoun because God has chosen it for me from the beginning of time. I am a woman, And I praise God for it. SCRIPTURE READING: John 15:16 Jeremiah 1:5 Romans 8:4 Psalms 139:13-18 Judges 4
5/13/2022
I Asked My Mother In Law For AdviceAs I was praying about what I could post for Mother’s Day last week, part of me was at a loss. I thought back to my early years of motherhood~ All the helpless moments. The weary days and the long nights. And all the amazing moments filled with joy and laughter. The longing in a Grandma’s heart to go back and do it better, or just to go back and hold them and rock them one more time. There were times my husband and I thought we had it all figured out, but as I look back now, I realize we didn’t know a thing. With age comes wisdom. The wisdom in admitting that even at this age~I don’t know a thing. That knowledge has my heart searching for answers, and for wisdom from those who have been where I am even now. And so, I asked my Mother In Law if she could impart wisdom to young moms, and older moms, and all the moms in between. I have always viewed my Mother In Law as the “All Knowing Fountain of Wisdom”, so her response surprised me. Her words were: “I appreciate that you feel that my advice has the potential to be of benefit to anyone, but I fear you may be seeing me through eyes of love.” And so, perhaps I did glean a little age old wisdom in my acknowledgment that~ the older we get, the more we feel we aren’t really wise at all. And yet, her words brought truth to my heart that I wanted to share with all ladies, whether you are a mom or not. Here are her words: 1. “Marry the right man. When dealing with moms, they have already made that decision for better or worse. The philosophy of “it takes a village” may be popular, but it ideally takes a couple who are willing to devote themselves to raising responsible human beings who know and love God. People who can take care of themselves and others.” (The verdict is still out on whether or not she thinks I chose wisely. She keeps reminding me~”I warned you”… 😂) 2. “Children don’t belong to us. If we do it right they become independent and we feel abandoned until we realize we gave them the tools that made it possible.” 3. Seek backup and be the backup. My mother in law told me that she had “total backup. Husband, parents, in-laws, sisters, all in harmony with their beliefs. Very few people are so blessed.” So often I hear parents sharing hardships on their journey of child rearing, and sadly I also hear the response~’it was your choice to have kids.’ Raising godly children who love the Lord and want to serve Him is probably the hardest yet most important task a mother can do. A task that ultimately brings great glory to God. Be the back up. Don’t demean that task with trivial comments. Just as you have hardships in your life, mom’s do too. Let’s strive to support them on their journey of motherhood and raising little ones who will one day be our next generation. As I was having my devotions this week, God brought something to my attention. Even Moses, the man who God spoke to directly, needed advice from his Father In Law. Moses could have responded to his Father In Law in a negative way. He could have said- ‘Don’t you realize who you are advising? The man who talks directly to God! Who do you think you are?’ But that wasn’t his response at all . He humbly accepted the advice given, and it helped him tremendously. God could have given that advice to Moses directly, but God chose to use Moses Father in Law to impart that wisdom. Ladies, we don’t have it all figured out. We never will until we get to glory, especially when it comes to this mom thing. Learn to seek wisdom from those who have traveled this journey before us. I’m so thankful I did. My Mother In Law may believe that I see her this way through eyes of love, but God has used her in mighty ways in my life, and for that I will forever be thankful. Marry the right man. Give your children to God. Seek backup. Be the backup. Four simple things, yet four things that can change your life and the lives of your children for eternity. Thank you Mom! I love you!
2/25/2022
Choose The LaughterLaughter is the best medicine, especially in marriage.
Years ago, my sister and brother-in-law told us a funny story. Back when cell phones first came out, before texting or caller ID, my sister-in-law was in the kitchen and got a call on her new cell phone. Thinking it must be very important she answered, only to discover it was my brother-in-law calling from the bedroom upstairs and asking her to bring him a bowl of ice cream. At the time that was unheard of, and we all got a good laugh out of it. Now couples text each other while they’re in the same room. Back then it seemed so silly~and even lazy~ that he would call her instead of just getting up and getting it himself, and that’s what made us laugh so hard. Yes, it’s funny how time can change things. I think over time we can all get lazy in our marriages if we aren’t careful. And that’s when it seems that the little things really start to get to us. I’m reminded of the wise words of a friend during our Ladies Bible Study one week. We were talking about husbands and habits, and how certain things can drive you crazy after a while. Her simple words had a huge impact~ “I just don’t allow it to bother me anymore”. I was dumbfounded, but then I let her words sink in. What if I decided to not let it bother me anymore? All the silly, little things that I let get on my last nerve. Things that I didn’t allow to bother me in our first years of marriage. Could I possibly do that? With God’s help, that has been my goal. That goal was put to the test the other day when I asked my husband to do something for me. Fifteen years ago his reply might have fueled a fight~ depending on the time of the month or the circumstances of the day. The thought of that makes me very sad. How easily I let things fuel the fire. As women, we don’t like to admit it but we do allow little things to dictate our emotions. In the moment we feel completely justified for our anger, and we don’t like it when our time of the month (or menopause) gets the blame for the words we say to our spouses. My time of the month is a time of the past now, and when I look back I know that 75% of our fights during that time could have been avoided. As wives, we need to be honest with ourselves in this regard. Somehow as the years pass we adopt this behavior in marriage as ok. If we aren’t careful, we can allow little things that really don’t matter to slowly chip away at the foundation of something that started as a beautiful dream come true. And so, I think about my sister-in-law and friend. She passed away at the early age of 35 after giving birth to her 6th baby. None of us could have imagined this would happen when we were laughing about that cell phone call and her husband’s request for ice cream. I’m so glad I have that memory. It always brings a smile but it also reminds me of her husband’s words after she passed away. “I wish I had never fought with her about the stupid things that made us fight”. As much as he cherished the laughter, he deeply regretted the fighting. Just like my older friend’s wise words, his words had a big impact, unfortunately I didn’t let them sink in deep enough. At the time I can remember looking over at my husband and thinking~ ‘I’m never going to fight with him again’. Almost twenty years later and there have been too many fights to count. Because I let the little things get to me and I got lazy. I got lazy in fighting for the foundations of first love. And in my laziness, I got selfish. I didn’t want to talk things out or pray, too often I just wanted to be right. What a waste. Ladies, twenty years from now don’t look back and realize how much better your marriage could have been. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up “in the moment”. We don’t know how much time God will give us with our spouses, so make the very best of every single day you have together. Look at each day as if it could be your last. Don’t let the little things bother you. Don’t let the circumstances of the day or the dot on the calendar dictate your emotions. Give your marriage to God every single day. Don’t fight with each other, fight for each other. Talk things out. Spend time in God’s word. Pray together. Love on each other. And most importantly laugh. Always laugh together. My husband’s reply the other day? I chose laughter. I laughed and I hugged him and we laughed together. And it was sweet. And I just pray that God allows me many more days of laughter with this man I love. Because all those little things, those are the things satan will use to destroy that laughter. Determine today that with God’s help you won’t allow him to do that. We hear the world’s words “choose your battles wisely”, but oh how sweet our marriages would be if we chose never to go to battle to begin with. To have on the armor of God continually, fighting off the wiles of the devil. In the moment we can choose to be stubborn, miserable and right, or we can choose to look past all the silly, little, irritating things that don’t really matter~ and just laugh. God wants us to laugh. Choose the laughter ladies. One day you will look back and be so thankful you did.
2/11/2022
Stronger For ItFor a brief moment I questioned sharing it. This post about love… “to the one needing this tonight: there’s a man waiting to love you how God intended…” The societal screams from thousands of women echoed in my head. ~We are strong and confident and able. ~We can do anything a man can do. Continual shouts have been hurled at this generation~ ~We need to love ourselves, we need to raise strong daughters. ~We don’t need a man to complete us, or to love us. And for a split second, I let the shouts of peer pressure dissuade me and compromise the heart of my beliefs. My finger briefly staggering over the delete button. God’s shouts were greater. I am STRONG. I am CONFIDENT and ABLE. I have raised STRONG daughters. But I am NOT complete without my man, and I will make no apologies for this. Why am I labeled “old fashioned”? Why does the world view this as a weakness? If this is my weakness, I am proud of it. If this is my weakness, I am stronger for it. I was created for my husband. I love him more than life itself. Despite what society claims~I do not cook and clean, do laundry and keep house because I am his slave. I do not do these things because I am weak. I do not do these things because I have been brainwashed by my religion. I CHOOSE to do these things because of love. My choice. I do these things because it gives me so much joy to love on this man of mine. I do them because he is my “Happily Ever After”. He is the love story God wrote just for me. I understand that there are women who will never marry. I understand that there are women reading this right now that are single, but have not chosen to be. Perhaps divorce, or even death has placed this label on you. Whether you have chosen to be single, or perhaps you are praying even now for the man God has for you~ that “man who is waiting to love you as God intended”~ Whatever category you fall into~ make no mistake, neither of these make you weak in God’s eyes. Should we be content to be fully loved by Christ alone, even if we are to remain single? Yes, we should find contentment in Christ alone~ but God never once tells us in His word that it is wrong to pray for a spouse. God never once tells us it is wrong to be made complete by a man. In fact, He tells us the opposite. He tells us that He created us to be a help meet to our husbands. He tells us that when we are married, we two become one. Without my husband, I am only half as strong as I can be. Together with him, we are one. He makes me whole. Don’t allow society to change the very heart of your beliefs. Don’t allow the screams of peer pressure to dissuade you or your daughters. Don’t allow their words to make you feel “less than”, weak, or old fashioned. Open God’s word and show them the beautiful picture of what pure, selfless love truly means. Show them the true meaning of strength. This Valentine’s Day I will be proud to be labeled weak, because when I look at my husband my heart fills with a joy that I can’t even put into words. And that’s what love is. A love that God always intended between a husband and wife. One flesh. Bone of my bone. My soul mate and best friend. My lover. The man who takes my breath away, and the man I want next to me when I draw my last breath. The man I would do anything for. The man who completes me. Does this make me weak? Yes, yes it does, haha~ Weak in the knees~ And I am stronger for it.
12/31/2021
What Is Your “Because”?It’s going by too fast. Faster than I want it to. Fear of the swiftness grabs a hold of my heart. I try to reach behind me and grasp at it, but it has already moved past me. Time. I want more time. Time with my kids and grandkids. Time with my best friend of 36 years.
What happened to this year? What happened to this Christmas season? What happened to yesterday? I want it to slow down, but it pays no heed to my desires. This year I watched as beloved friends lost their best friends and soul mates, and it crushed me. How could they move on? Is that the reality of what we thought would be our “Happily Ever After”? To fall more in love as each year passes, to grow old together and then to face the heartache of losing one another? Of losing your whole life? And then, the other night I watched as the story of Christmas came alive on television. And the message spoke to my heart. It went beyond the good tidings of great joy to a message of hope for all mankind. A message of hope because of Jesus. Do not be afraid. That message was spoken to Zacharias, to Joseph, to Mary, to the shepherds. The beautiful message tucked away within the pages of Christmas. Do not be afraid. That message spoke to me. I watched the television as Mary, the mother of Jesus, lay close to death. I couldn’t help but think how excited she must have been with the knowledge that her life was drawing to an end. The fear of death did not grip her. She did not try to grasp at the past, because she knew Who was waiting for her. Her Son and her Messiah. What love her heart held for Him. And it humbled my own heart that the love I have for Him does not reach that level as it should. I used to pride myself in the fact that I wasn’t afraid of death, because I had no doubt a home in heaven awaited me. Not because of anything I had done, but because of everything Jesus did for me. As each year passes, the reality of death has changed for me. I realize that there is a fear~not for myself~but a fear of loss. Loss of what I hold so dear. And I do not want to face it. I fear the loss of my husband. I fear the loss of time. Time that goes too quickly. Time that I want back. Death has become so much more real to me as the years go quickly by. If my eyes are not on Jesus, fear can consume my thoughts. But the angels words whisper to my fearful heart over and over again. Do not be afraid. God speaks those very words so often in His word, that it is easy to pass them by. Just like time. To not be intentional in the regarding. The regarding of every minute of every day. The regarding of choosing to truly hear God’s words spoken to a fearful heart. Do not be afraid. If God allows, next year I will be writing words of encouragement as another year ends. Next year. It will fly by even faster. I will look back and wonder where the time went. And so, I will purpose in my heart to let the message of this Christmas season soak into my soul. Do not be afraid. I don’t know what next year holds. So much can change, but God’s words will never change. They will be a constant until I behold Him in glory. I will cling to His unchanging promises as I step into the future and I will choose to believe them. Do not be afraid. Why? Because~ Jesus.
8/14/2021
I Kept A Secret From My HusbandI had been looking forward to this day for months.
Just like when they were little. Little children, little problems. Today, big children, big problems. And so~ We needed time away. Time to focus on each other. But my heart held a secret from him. The moment we drove away, I missed them all already. (They all live on our block) How could this be? I had felt the need to get away from the chaos for so long. I needed to just be a wife, and not a mom for a short amount of time. He needed me to be just a wife and not a mom for a short amount of time. This has happened time and time again, since they were babies. The chaos gets to us mamas and we become desperate for alone time. Desperate for time away just to gather our thoughts and feel sane again. The crying of little ones, the fighting toddlers, the cleaning and cooking and laundry and endless chores. The noise level and continual talking. The lack of adult conversation. The constant. We feel our minds screaming inside to have some time with our husbands so we can feel like a wife again, like a woman again. But when we finally get it~we miss them and suddenly we can’t remember all the bad, we only remember the good. The soft smell of their little heads, their kisses and hugs, their giggles, their smiles, their unconditional love, their joy at just being in our presence. We remember them snuggled into us, fast asleep and our hearts just want to burst. And when they become adults, that mama life doesn’t get any easier. When your adult children are hurting, the pain in your heart manifolds itself into every area of your life, as does their joy. Even when they’re adults, it’s in a mama’s DNA to take care of her children but you can’t just put a bandaid on all the bad that they will go through. You feel it deeply because you know a kiss and a smile from mom won’t take that pain away any longer. It hurts a mama’s heart to the core. Not only can their hurts lay constant on your heart, but their stresses, their arguments, their jobs and spouses and children… all of it becomes bigger than life and as a mama, your heart just wants to make it all better~but you realize you can’t. And you realize that it takes a toll. It can take a toll on you spiritually and if you aren’t careful, it can take a toll on your marriage. That weight was never meant for a mama to bear, it was meant to be carried by God. You realize your mama’s heart of worry has drowned out the heart of His word and all His promises. And then you know, you NEED that time alone with God, because you aren’t God. You can’t fix everything. And you NEED that time away with your spouse, to reconnect with the one who has been in it with you for the long haul. Who loves your children as much as you do, but also needs that time away. Mama, go away. Go away with God. Go away with your spouse. You will fight it. Your heart will feel guilty and the second you drive away, you will miss them terribly. But you NEED it. Your heart NEEDS it. Your spouse NEEDS it, and you both will be better for it. Figure out a way to get away, and make it happen. He will be a better husband and daddy for it and you will be a better wife and mama. And so~I looked over at my husband as we drove in silence. He was smiling. He had no idea what my heart was feeling. I prayed and God reminded me of how much we needed this. I knew He was right. I needed to let go. I asked God to give my heart peace in leaving it all with Him and focusing on my relationship with Him, and our relationship as a married couple. It didn’t take long. God’s good that way. He gave me a comfort in that moment that this was what was needed. I would return home with a restored soul. With a better appreciation for the beautiful life God has given me. With a deeper love for my husband and a deep peace in my heart. I would be a better mama for it and my marriage would be that much sweeter. So, I reached over, I took his hand in mine and I smiled at him~ Because I knew it already was.
7/31/2021
Fading Into The BackgroundMost of the time I put a lot of effort into the things I’m passionate about. Being a pastor’s wife, a mom and a grandma is definitely a passion of mine. It takes up a quite a bit of time, but I love every second of it. Even last week, Mike and I put a lot of effort into making beautiful memories with our grandchildren. I put a lot of time into my Holding Hope page as well. I study God’s word, I pray, I notice reactions and emotions to blog posts, I yearn to help.
These things are important to me. Another area I am passionate about is decorating, specifically the Pilgrim era. I study this time period, I pour over books and pictures and videos. I’m drawn to it and because of my passion for it, I don’t mind putting all that effort into it. I actually love the process. Here’s the funny thing. Out of all the things in my home that I have arranged and rearranged, of all the things I have purchased because of my love of history and the 17th century, of all the pieces I think are so beautiful~ one thing always stands out to visitors. It’s the one thing they always ask me about… It isn’t the intricately carved antiques that pilgrims once owned, it’s a crude, primitive hanging shelf. One of the first things Mike made for me in my pursuit of all things pilgrim. I was thrilled with that little piece, a piece I often overlook now because it’s been hanging in the same spot for what feels like forever. A faded memory that has blended into the background. I thought about that shelf today, and I thought about all the things I’m passionate about. I thought about how those passions have changed through the years and then I thought about the one thing that has remained for what feels like forever. The one thing I was so incredibly passionate about when it first became mine. My husband. How easily we allow everything else in our lives to take over the thing we were once so passionate about. We have little children and with all the joy they bring, they also bring little children problems. We have teenagers with teenager problems. We blink and our teenagers are adults and then we have grandchildren. Along the way our jobs, friends and hobbies take up our time. From the moment we say “I do”, life begins to move on, but the constant is our spouse. The beginning of it all. The love of our life. As the years go by we experience the fatigue of child rearing and before we can blink, the fatigue of old age has crept up upon us. We make a life together, that life might be beautiful but often that life can get in the way and we can easily lose sight of one another through the busyness. Like my old shelf. Besides our relationship with God, our marriage is the most important relationship in our life, and yet the one we seem to put the least amount of effort into as the years go by. The one we tend to take for granted the most. I’m not sure why life happens this way. But it shouldn’t. Let me encourage you ladies today to put the passion back into your marriage. To notice the one who vowed to spend his life with you, who has been a constant through the good and the bad. Put as much effort into your spouse as you do into your children, your job, your hobbies and your friends. Look over at him now in quiet contemplation and vow in your heart to renew that relationship, whether he is holding your newborn child, or laying back in his easy chair snoring happily. Our relationship with our spouse isn’t meant to just be passionate the first few years. That passion is meant to last a lifetime. Sometimes we tend to pursue other passions as the years go by, looking for happiness in the “new” when all along our happiness is sitting right beside us. After a week with our grandchildren we were pretty exhausted. We fell into bed that night and in the quiet darkness, I reached over and held his hand. we began to talk about how much God has blessed our life and how much we had to be thankful for. We prayed together and God showed me in that beautiful moment how often I take the most important person in my life for granted. Just like that old shelf. My constant. My lover. My best friend. Besides my love for God, I want my love for my husband to be so evident that it’s the one thing others always ask me about. I don’t want the passion of my marriage to be a faded memory that has blended into the background of our lives. No matter how old we get, as long as he is by my side I will ask God to continually put that passion in my heart for him above all else~ and I will love the process.
6/5/2021
I Want To Go BackSome days I want to go back.
Back to when I was tiny and didn’t know about life. When I watched the love my mom poured into being a wife and mother, cooking and cleaning with pure contentment. When she would read to me or hold me when I was crying. When I believed everything would be okay, simply because she told me it would. When I had no cares except for what dress my baby dolls would wear or what flavor ice cream I would choose. A childhood filled with magic and make believe. A childhood filled with extraordinarily beautiful moments. Back to the days when mom made everything cozy and safe. I wish my younger little me could’ve understood how incredibly important those moments were. I wish I could’ve held on to them longer. Some days I wish I could go back to that first look. That first kiss. When the innocence of romance was far from reality. When there were no bills and no quarrels. When my world revolved around him and the love we shared. When he was the only person my eyes could see in a room full of people. When my heart would flutter with each smile and nothing mattered except him. When I put his needs before my own without a second thought. When the weight of life and the heartaches to come were non existent. When I thought that spark and excitement would last forever. Some days I wish I could go back to when they were little. When mommy was their world. When they thought she was the best and the smartest and had all the answers. When she could fix every problem and heal every boo~boo. When mommy was who they turned to when hearts were breaking or secrets were shared. When I watched them as they slept and felt my heart might burst for love of them. When they were safe in my care, under our roof. When I thought they would think of me this way for always and no matter how many years might pass, they would forever be my babies. Some days I wish I could go back to that day. Turning the corner and catching my daddy deep in thought. So deep he didn’t notice I was standing there. I wish I would’ve asked what he was thinking about more often. I wish I asked more questions about his childhood or what it was like raising my brothers and me. I wish I had asked what made him buy a farm and a horse or move back to a subdivision. I wish I had asked questions that might not have been important at the time but answers that would be so precious to me now. I wish I had asked how he was able to live again after mom passed because this is the toughest thing I’ve gone through. Living without them. Perhaps all those things are exactly what he was so deep in thought about. Perhaps he was wishing he could go back to when life was simpler and happiness came in bundles. Happiness we took for granted. Why is it that we don’t realize how important moments that make up our memories truly are until they are only memories? Memories that we can only visit in our hearts. Moments that we beg our children not to take for granted. Moments we want them to learn from now instead of later. How badly I wish I could go back to those moments in time and hold on to them and truly understand and cherish the beauty of each one. Never taking a single one for granted. Always thankful. Always being present. Always loving with my everything. Spending more time in those moments instead of in my head where the to~do’s and tomorrow’s came to visit too often. We can’t go back. But I can love like my mama on my grandchildren. I can make my home a place where they will always feel safe and cozy. I can’t go back to that first kiss but I can remember and recreate. I can choose to be selfless in my love for him and dwell on all the unbelievable goodness our marriage has held, and all the joy we have yet to look forward to. I can’t go back but I can always be that mom who points them to the answers in God’s word, who prays for them when their heart is breaking, who comforts them when secrets are shared. I can be that mom who tells them don’t take one second of your beautiful life for granted. I can be that mom that knows that no matter their age or where they might be, they are safe because God is holding them when I cannot. I can’t go back but I can look forward to the incredible joy I will one day encounter when I enter heaven’s glory and get to hug my Savior. When I get to let go of all the sadness, heaviness and grief as He holds me there. When I get to say thank you for all eternity, and it still won’t seem like enough because of all he’s done for me. When I get to see my loved ones that I have missed so deeply and know without a doubt how happy they are and have been and will forever be. And maybe that’s the lesson God has for us. To stop wishing on that past and start living for eternity. To look forward. To cherish more. To be present. To teach and to not take anything for granted and most importantly to look ahead to the home He has prepared for us. That beautiful home where our most cherished memories and moments will seem like nothing special at all compared to the glory we behold. That home. The home where happiness and joy will never cease and will always come in bundles.
5/1/2021
Stay At Home MomMy daughter recently shared a YouTube video entitled ‘Day in the Life’.
I smiled as I read all the sweet comments people posted, until I got to the very end. The last comment implied that her life as a stay at home mom was outdated and old fashioned. A slam against everything that she loves, and the calling she feels God has placed upon her heart. I thought back to earlier that evening. I had been babysitting my granddaughters. As I folded clothes in my laundry room, they laughed and played along side me, and in that moment my heart felt so incredibly full. Precious memories came flooding back of similar moments I shared with my children when they were that age. You see~I was living my dream. I am living my dream. All I ever wanted to be when I was little was a wife and mother. Sure I had hobbies and thought about vocations I might enjoy, but ultimately the dream was to be a wife and mom. Just like my mom. I never really knew how deep my passion was for such a dream until I was much older. Right in the middle of this mom life, despite all its craziness, I realized my dreams had come true. I cannot explain the peace that comes over me when I am home, doing home things. I’m in my element. Being a wife, a mom, a grandma. Cooking and cleaning and laundry and baking and taking care of this home God has given me and the hearts He has placed in my hands. Little hearts to mold and nourish and raise and love. And then to let go. There is nothing on this earth that I would rather do. But apparently, that is outdated. It’s old fashioned to think that way. It’s a ludicrous idea to some to actually love taking care of your home and the little hearts God has given you. And to me, that is sad. I raised three daughters and a son. They are all grown now and we’ve added 6 grandchildren to the mix. Two of my daughters have jobs outside the home and one has chosen to be that old fashioned vocation ~ A stay at home mom. I am immensely proud of all of them. Do I believe one is better than the other? Do I think it’s wrong to work outside the home? Let me be very, very clear here~ NO I do not, but I do believe it’s wrong when one of the greatest vocations since the beginning of time has been made into a mockery. What has become of us as a nation when being a stay at home mom has been belittled and looked down upon? Where mothers who choose that life are made to feel “less than” or stupid. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are women out there who abuse the system. Who don’t understand the true meaning of ‘wife’ and ‘mother’ and all that it entails. But to those moms who are living their dream with a passion~ it is a high calling. I am not ashamed to say that I am living my dream. In fact, I’m not ashamed to say that I love my husband, that I love making him his favorite meals or taking care of the home that his job has helped provide. Sadly, even marriage has been deprecated along with the homemaker. If you dare to say that you love cooking for your husband, or God forbid sharing intimacy together, instead of a helpmeet and lover, you are ridiculously labeled a ‘live in maid’ or even worse, a ‘sex slave’. Why do I find joy in these things that I do? Why do I believe I am living the dream? Because of the crazy amount of love my heart holds. Love for my God Who has provided me such a beautiful family and this dream home I have been given to live in and take care of. Love for my husband, who daily loves me back in so many different ways that too often I take them for granted. Love for my children, and the breathtaking wonder that these super, awesome adults were once cradled lovingly inside my womb. I’m living the dream because my heart is overflowing with thankfulness and love. Today I sat across from my three grandsons as they ate a piece of their mommy’s homemade carrot cake. The atmosphere might have appeared messy to some. School work was on the table, dishes were in the sink and all I could think was~ my daughter is living the dream too. What a dream. She’s raising boys who will grow up into men. Men who will have a part in leading our country into a better tomorrow. Maybe preachers or fire fighters. Maybe teachers or coaches. Men who will have an impact. Men who will become husbands and fathers. The kind of husbands you want for your little girls one day. The kind of fathers you want for your grandchildren. What a tremendous calling and privilege has been placed upon her heart. The raising of future husbands and fathers. I so often hear on social media the need we have for strong women. I cannot think of a stronger role model for generations to come than that of a stay at home mom. The time we have with the little lives entrusted to us is barely a whisper in the echo of eternity. But that whisper can become a mighty shout for God’s glory in the halls of their futures. Every single moment spent at home with them is an investment into that future. Please hear me Mama, your dream may not be the vocation of stay at home mom like mine is. That’s okay. There were several women in the Bible who worked outside the home. Maybe it is your dream to be a stay at home mom, but you don’t have the means to make it a reality. Regardless of what each of our situations may be, I think we can all agree that our children and grandchildren need a better future. I truly believe that future begins in the home, with the heart of a mother. Our focus needs to shift. It needs to change. The title Mom should never be downgraded. Instead, it should be applauded. It is a strong woman who has chosen such a job. A woman with some of the greatest strengths of all. The strength of thankfulness and of love. It isn’t a strength she possess on her own, it is a strength that can only come from an even greater love. That of her heavenly Father. As I was leaving my daughter’s home, her youngest hurt himself and came to me crying. I kissed his little finger and the boo boo magically went away. Someday he will be doing the same for his own children. Tears welled up in my eyes knowing I have had a small part in such a beautiful high calling. To be his mom’s mom. To be a stay at home mom. To think that God has allowed me this is beyond my wildest dreams~ and I get to live that dream every single day.
9/8/2020
Are You Happy In Your Marriage?I am not happily married.
Boy, that’s a loaded statement. Please stick with me here. I know this is long, but I also know that these tips can change your marriage and in doing so, change your life. If I said this post could guarantee you lose 10 lbs in a week, you’d probably read it purely out of curiosity. (And maybe a little wishful thinking) Give your husband the same chance you give your waist line. 😉 So, let me rephrase that statement above, I’m happily married, but not always happy with some of the seasons we go through. As we sat on our couch watching TV last night, I thought about our marriage~ A typical evening after a crazy day. Turn on the TV, pick up our phones during commercials, turn off TV. Lock the doors, turn off lights, wash face, brush teeth, pray, go to sleep. It seems like this is the norm when we are in the middle of busy seasons in our life. A tuned out, overtired pattern we seem to follow. I actually started thinking about this whole marriage post a few weeks back. I was scrolling through my Pinterest feed and realized it was flooded with pictures of young teenagers and college age couples kissing, holding hands, hugging etc. What in the world!?! One after another they popped up. I have never looked up anything that would convince Pinterest that I was interested in pictures of goofy teenagers “in love”. I have to be honest though, last night during that commercial break I looked at those pictures, then looked over at my husband on the other end of the couch. He was reading his phone. He looked like he was 100 miles away. I looked down at that Pinterest picture and wondered, when did we get so old? I thought about this as I lay in bed last night. This isn’t how I remember our first year of marriage, even when life was crazy busy. Is this what marriage was destined to look like in our grandparent years? Zoning out and reading our phones. Across the couch from each other, but a million miles away? Nope, ain’t gonna happen. It isn’t always like this. Some weeks the sparks are flying but other weeks~when we’ve been on our feet all day running in circles, we’re sore and completely exhausted at night. This is 55 and 60. But if couples aren’t careful, this can easily become a habit. Before you know it, years have gone by and you begin to wonder who it is sitting across the couch from you. I don’t want this to be our new normal. So, I decided to pray about this and ask the Holy Spirit to show me ways that I could make my marriage better. I asked God to help me look outside the box. I didn’t want the typical marriage guru’s advice. (ie make time for each other, add romance, go on dates etc.) I wanted simple, every day, easy, attainable goals. I’m going to take you on my journey this week. Restore the goofy teenager love we once had. How am I going to do that? I honestly have no idea right now. 😂😂 I’m taking this one day at a time and asking God to show me. You might be a newlywed or you might be a grandma like me. Age shouldn’t matter. Yes I’m a grandma, but I have to be honest~ deep down I will always want that goofy teenage feeling, even when we’re in the middle of our busy seasons. So, here are some tips that I tried and that actually worked. Not from a marriage guru, just a 55 year old grandma who’s been married for 35 years 😉 1. Just like every post I’ve done on tips, my first tip remains the same. Pray. I Thessalonians 5:17. Today I’m praying for God to show me how to change. I’m praying for God to light that fire again by showing me what I should be doing (not complaining to God about everything Mike is not doing) in this relationship to make it better. There’s no room for~ ”but you don’t know my husband” here. This is about God showing ME what I need to change. 2. Next I’m asking the Holy Spirit to fill me. God tells us the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith and meekness. Galatians 5:22-23, Ephesians 5:9. Need I say more? Seems like this is THE key, not only to a successful marriage but a happy one. This has to be a constant. I can’t be filled with Charisse because when I am, selfishness takes over and there’s no room left for that fruit to grow. Continually pray to be filled with the Spirit. Don’t sit on that couch looking over at him and allow yourself to get irritated. If we aren’t careful our thoughts can consume us. Thoughts like~ “Why doesn’t he try harder? Why isn’t he more romantic? Why doesn’t he ask to put his arm around me or sit closer? Why doesn’t he acknowledge my presence instead of staring at his phone?”. When these thoughts start brewing inside your head, you need help. You need the Holy Spirit’s filling to change those thoughts to the fruits only He can provide. 3. My next tip is to put your phones away in the evening when you finally do sit down. If this is a struggle for you, please trust me and try it. If it is a struggle for your husband, don’t get mad. Once again, pray for the Spirit’s help and then pick up your phone and send him some love notes or steamy texts. You might shock the pants right off of him. 😉 Keep sending those love notes and when he looks up from his phone, shoot him that smile you gave him 35 years ago when he was about to ask for your hand in marriage. 4. Another tip is to sit closer and snuggle. Why do we as ladies think it’s all on the husband to be more romantic and make the first move? Why does he have to be the one to bring home flowers or buy sappy cards? Take a deep look at yourself and ask yourself if you are the same person you were while you were dating. Are you treating him the same? Do you hang on his every word? Do you try to make yourself beautiful for him? Do you grab his hand to hold, or hug him for no reason? I fall in to this trap too often. I start feeling sorry for myself and wonder why he isn’t paying attention, why he isn’t being more romantic. But then I just sit on my butt and stew about it instead of doing something about it. As much as you as a wife enjoy romantic attention, your husband longs to feel needed and wanted. It’s a two way street. Do your part and you’ll soon notice that he is doing his as well. 5. Something else that worked and seems to always make Mike and I feel like goofy teenagers is to talk about memories from our dating years each night before going to sleep. Pretty soon we’re both smiling and laughing and automatically feel closer no matter what kind of day we had. 6. My last two tips are to set reminders on your phone (or your alarm clock) to think about him throughout the day. Philippians 4:8. We can get so busy with our homes, our kids, our jobs, our errands and housework (and the million other things we as women do) that our husbands are the last things on our minds. Do you remember when he was the ONLY thing on your mind all day, despite everything you might have had on your plate? Do you remember when you couldn’t wait to see him each day? Remind yourself of that all day long. When you do see him, I guarantee it will be a different experience than when you don’t think about him at all. I would also like to encourage you to make a list of everything you love about him. Go over that list every day. Go over that list when things are going good and go over that list when he’s driving you crazy. Marriage takes work and I’ll be honest, sometimes I just want to be lazy. After a crazy busy day I just want to recline on my side of the couch and vegetate for a while. But when I think about all the areas of my life that I put extra effort into and work hard at, I realize my marriage should be at the top of that list. Because my marriage is a picture of Christ. Ephesians 5:25. My marriage is an example for my children. My marriage is my most important relationship besides my relationship with Jesus. My marriage is the foundation of all the joy Jesus gives us in loving another as you love yourself and being one with that person. Galatians 5:14, Mark 10:7-9, Ephesians 5:31 Tonight Mike walked in with a smile on his face and handed me a Mallo Cup candy bar. “Thought you needed this today”, he said as he sat down on his side of the couch and picked up his phone. I smiled as I watched him. I reminded myself that it’s also ok to just be together, secure in your love for one another and comfortable laying in your recliners in your pajamas eating pizza and Mallo Cups. Best friends and lovers. There’s a happiness in the goofy teenage moments but there’s also tremendous happiness in the beautiful mundane of being together. Of being in love. I Peter 4:8. As long as we seek the Holy Spirit’s help and aren’t putting ourself at the center of our marriage but making sure God always is, I guarantee these tips will change your marriage and in doing so, change your life. “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22 Lets pray to be that “good thing.” 💗
5/14/2020
Happy Mother’s Day!HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
2 minute read I’ve been a mother for 34 of the 35 years I’ve been married~ but I remember... I couldn’t wait for him to come through the door. We had only been dating a month, but my heart knew it was love. Every time he walked in, my world felt like sunshine and happiness. It felt like forever. And then... I couldn’t wait for him to come through the door. The baby had been crying all day. Potty training and terrible two’s, piled on top of the sleepless nights of a newborn. I felt depleted and alone and just wanted help. A break. When he walked in, I just wanted to check out. My respite from a long day that seemed to feel like forever. Little kids fighting grew into teenagers back talking. In those blurred moments there were times I lost sight of the beauty of motherhood and what a precious gift it was. Sometimes I lost sight of my first forever love, and took it out on him. When did it stop? With each phase of mothering, a little piece of that “first forever feeling” got taken away. When did his presence become what I wanted FROM him instead of the love I had FOR him? But then... I couldn’t wait for him to come through the door. The house had been so quiet lately. I had so much to tell him. As I sat and waited, all my first “forever” feelings came flooding back. I could picture him walking through the door those first few months of dating. My heart smiled as I remembered. Crying babies and terrible two’s seemed so long ago. What I thought felt like forever went by in the blink of an eye. The good far outweighed the bad. I saw that now, and I was so thankful for every minute of it. I was so thankful for every minute that lay ahead. My forever future with the daddy of my children. Mama, one of the best things you can give your children is to show them how much you love their daddy. It will change the way you mother. It will change your children. It will change your marriage. It will change your forever. Sometimes I think moms turn mothering into martyrdom. Being a mom is a gift from God. There will be times we are depleted, times we feel alone and needy. There will be times we want to be appreciated, but don’t allow yourself to become the martyr. That’s not what being a mom is at all. Being a mom is a beautiful result and celebration of the love you share with your husband. A glorious picture of the love Christ has for us. A selfless love. A love that brings true joy. Mother’s Day is our celebration of that love. Our children are paying attention. Their behavior is learned by watching our relationships. Let’s make sure we aren’t teaching them to go to God only for what we want FROM Him and not because of the love we have FOR Him. Don’t ever use the sacredness of motherhood as an excuse to become a martyr. Put the pieces of your “forever first love” back together. It’s never too late. You hold the gift of showing your children how precious being a mother is and why we celebrate it~not just on Mothers Day, but every day~ from now until forever. “Who is left among you that saw this house in her first glory? and how do ye see it now?” Haggai 2:3 “Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.” Revelation 2:4
2/19/2020
This Mundane Marriage ThingTHIS MUNDANE MARRIAGE THING~
Back in 1985, the church we were married in always had the bridal party wait in the back stairwell after the ceremony. Once everyone was dismissed we then emerged for final pictures before the reception. I will never forget those moments after I had just been pronounced his wife. Hidden in that stairwell. We couldn’t stop kissing and laughing and talking about how much fun our wedding was, and how we would do it all over again. As I think about this, I recall a talk I had with my mom the last year she was alive. She told me that despite many ups and down through the years, it was like she and dad were honeymooners all over again. She passed away a few short months later. She was 62. I can’t seem to get that off of my mind. What if I only have a few short months left with my husband? What happened to that girl that was in the stairwell? The girl who couldn’t stop kissing. The girl who couldn’t stop smiling. I get mad at the clothes laying on the floor in the bathroom. I get irritated when he leaves his coat flung everywhere~except on a hook just inside the front door. I want to strangle him when he walks across clean floors with dirty, wet shoes. I get hurt when life is weighing on him and he loses his patience with me or falls asleep while I’m talking to him. And sometimes I want to smother him with my pillow when he won’t stop snoring. Stupid, petty things. A lot can change in 34 years. Maybe your own marriage has changed. You find yourself saddened that the honeymoon seems to be over. The romance and spark has been replaced with irritability. Your marriage has become mundane. It doesn’t have to be this way, in fact, it never should be this way~no matter how old you are or how long you have been married. Don’t waste another day upset over petty things, irritated or hurt because you lack an empathetic heart. That boy you married is the man sitting next to you now. That smile he had for you is still the same. Is yours? Maybe it’s just hidden. Hidden in an old stairwell. You can share that laughter again ~ If you choose to look for it by finding the good. In the clothes on the floor~ because one day they might not be there. In the coat flung someplace different on a daily basis~ because even though he was busy, he ran errands for you. In the wet shoe prints through the house~ because he shoveled all that snow. In the lack of patience ~ because he’s working several jobs to pay the bills. When he falls asleep~ because he’s getting up at 5 am to work those jobs. When he’s snoring~ because his presence brings comfort and peace in the darkness of night. He is your constant. Your best friend. There’s always, always something good if we choose to truly look for it. When we change our hearts towards our husbands and our hearts become thankful~ our marriages will look a whole lot different. Every day can be like a honeymoon. And you can be that girl ~kissing and laughing and saying~ I would do it all over again.
7/3/2019
Are You Looking In A Mirror?ARE YOU LOOKING IN A MIRROR?
For a minute I saw it. The twinkle. My heart remembered and my soul said~ there you are. And I fell in love all over again. His dark hair now shimmers white. His thin shape has filled in. But his twinkle, that twinkle in his eye~ It remains the same, even after 34 years. And when he laughs, really laughs from deep down inside~ my heart smiles. We have been through heartache together. We have weathered the storms of our own making, and come out on the other side. There has been hurt. There have been times that I have hidden away and cried. Times my heart lies and tells me~ this isn’t the same man you married. And I want that man back. Not this one. Eventually, we become like the ones we spend the most time with. 34 years. That’s a lot of time. Time he has spent with me. So I remind myself, on the days I don’t like what I see in him, perhaps I am looking in a mirror and seeing a reflection of myself~ And I determine that I will work even harder on this marriage thing~ no matter how many years go by~ so that when he looks back at me, he will see Christ. I want him to feel my heart full of forgiveness, selflessness, compassion and mercy. A heart full of indescribable love. The heart of a wife that spends more time with Christ than her own selfish nature. I will learn to let things go. I will put his needs before my own. I will love like Christ loves me. And I will see that twinkle that makes my heart smile because I know that when I see that twinkle~ his heart is smiling too. “The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy. The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.” Psalms 145:8-9 “But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth.” Psalms 86:15 “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” Colossians 3:13 DEAR MOTHER IN LAW
DEAR DAUGHTER IN LAW.... There once was a little boy that captured my heart. From the very first moment he was placed in my arms and his big blue eyes stared up into mine. I held him there. So close. He had this heart that was full of compassion. Always thinking of me. He would bring me flowers and write me love notes. I was the world to him. He would promise never to marry or move away. And I held him there. So close. As he grew, his compassion never waned. Sweet notes and cards. Thoughtfulness. He shared his dreams with me. His funny moments and his happiness. Maybe, he mused, he would marry.... but live right next door. He would never move....too far away. And I tried to hold him there. So close. But then one day he was asking for advice. His compassion and thoughtfulness shifted. Advice on what to write... to her. Again I tried to hold him there. So close. As he talked, I stared into the eyes of my little boy. My baby, now a man. He would marry her. He would live anywhere in the world if he could be with her, because she was his world. And I was not. I could no longer hold him there, so close. I had to let go. She changed everything. She was his everything. His happiness. His life. She brought him joy just by being herself. And she brought me joy because she was herself. She wrote me notes filled with love. She shared their dreams with me, their days, their hopes, their heartaches and their happiness. She shared their laughter with me. She sent me pictures he didn’t know she took. She told me each time he spoke loving thoughts of home and mom. Each time.💗💗 She shared him. And she allowed me to hold him close again. So close. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Remember the heart that held his first. That heard his first words of love. That taught him to walk and talk and be the man you love, the man you married. Remember the heart that holds his now. That gives him joy and happiness. That loves him more than you ever could have hoped for. The woman he married. Remember.... and hold each other close. Thank you Shannon. I love you 😘❤️ THE STRUGGLE OF OUR IRRITATING HUSBANDS
I’m blessed with great in laws. We’re all able to laugh together about the less than perfect traits that we possess, but there are times that I can let it get away from me. They know all the amazing qualities my husband has, but they also know many of the “not so great” qualities, and if I’m not careful I find myself listing all the things he does that drive me crazy. I know exactly why I do this. He is a carbon copy of his dad, so his mother can relate 100%. Just recently I was with a group of ladies comparing notes on their husbands. Every part of me wanted to join in and list some of the things Mike does that irritate me. But then I stopped myself and in my heart I asked myself “why?” Why did I feel the need to complain? To bring up my husband’s shortcomings? I realized it was only because I knew I would be validated in my complaints. And I knew that was wrong. Why do we as wives, as women, as humans do this? Don’t join that bandwagon ladies. Don’t be pulled into a conversation and deceived into thinking it’s okay to start listing off someone else’s traits that you find irritating, especially not your husbands. Because that’s never okay. Stop and think. For every thing that irritates you, I guarantee there is something your husband does that’s amazing. We just need to open our eyes and see it. Replace the negative by focusing on all his positives. I Peter 4:8 You will surprise yourself when you really, truly start working on that because you will find that you are married to Mr. Wonderful, and maybe even fall a little more in love with him all over again. So, I bit my tongue and I looked over at him and I realized what a really awesome husband he is. I decided that the next time I’m tempted to complain to others, I’ll just talk to God about it. He usually has this way of showing me that I can be pretty irritating at times too. Recently, while at the airport I watched 2 sweet, elderly gentlemen. Both got up and bought their wives a parfait and brought it back for them. The wives took them without a second thought. We as wives take a lot our Mr. Wonderful does for us for granted. Notice the small stuff and be thankful. Stay out of the complaining conversations and love on that man God gave you. And occasionally vent, but only to God or your mother in law. 😉 We all need to vent from time to time. Besides God, she truly is the only one who understands the struggle. And then let her know how much you love and appreciate that son she gave you. *side-note~ I highly recommend NOT complaining to your own parents. And to all you mother in laws reading this~ allow your new daughter to to ask for advice (aka vent 😂). Your son isn’t perfect and she could use the mama wisdom you have, instead of the criticism you might be tempted to give. But that’s all a post for another day 😉 Ephesians 4:32
7/3/2018
For Women Only***FOR WOMEN ONLY*** I’d just had my first baby only one month before. Between the post baby body and hormones, my insecurities were at an all time high. Mike suggested we go out and do something that sounded fun to me so we packed up the stroller and headed to the mall. It was December of 1986. Baby Jessica decided in the middle of our mall trip that she was hungry and she could not wait. Things were different. Moms didn’t just whip it out in public and start nursing, even with a blanket covering them. So, I went out to our small, cramped car and attempted to nurse fussy Jessica under my heavy sweater and winter coat. Despite the freezing temperatures, the sweat began to roll and the hormones began to rage. The hormones were definitely winning the battle and I started to cry. When I got back inside, the first thing I saw was a full wall advertisement for Victoria’s Secret. Not life size. Bigger. Gigantic, gorgeous, amazon women with perfect hair and bodies. And I lost it. That was the beginning of the end. My insecurities got worse instead of better. I felt fat and ugly after each baby. Instead of doing something about it, I resorted to junk food and complaining. Continual complaining. “I’m so fat. I’m so ugly. My double chin, my small chest, my flabby stomach...” and on and on and on. I was defeated without a fight. And my daughters watched it all. Why do we let society dictate what qualifies as beautiful to us? Why do we allow it to dictate those qualities to our daughters? Why is it so hard to believe that we are beautiful? It starts so young and once it grabs hold, it’s hard to shake. My innocent granddaughter Ellie with her naturally curly, brown hair came home from kindergarten and told me she was ugly because her hair wasn’t straight. Or blonde. It broke my heart. She is so beautiful to me. She is so beautiful to God. How can we change this mindset in our daughters? YOU are beautiful to God. Start believing it’s true in yourself. And that’s where it gets so hard. Many of us can’t. Including myself. It’s a continual battle that I cannot seem to win. With every TV commercial and magazine cover hitting me where it hurts. Ephesians 6:12-18 So you buy books and read articles and decide you’re going to change. And the first week you get up and spend time with God and read and feel the confidence returning. You smile. You’re happy. And then you walk into the mall with your husband.... And you are defeated and complaining all over again. Romans 7:22&23 Your husband sits in silence. He has told you time and time again how beautiful you are to him. He is at a loss for words. But your daughter hears your EVERY word. She thinks you’re beautiful. She thinks you’re amazing. She’s confused. Why is this a continual cycle in our lives? Because society screams at us from every direction and we listen to them and NOT TO GOD. We don’t believe GOD’S words. I can hear some of your thoughts as you read this. “Oh brother. You’re tall and slim. Why are you complaining?” But we all have our trouble spots. We all have our insecurities. Your daughter looks at you and thinks~ “mom you are amazing and beautiful and I want to be JUST LIKE YOU. Why do you complain?” And even sadder, God looks at us and says-“I made you in MY IMAGE. You are wonderfully made. You are beautiful in MY EYES. Why do you complain?” Genesis 1:27 In a way, we are telling God~”you created the world and you saved my soul from eternal damnation, but man~You really missed the mark with this body of mine.” Romans 9:20, Psalm 8:3-4 Shame on us. Shame on me. I’m not condoning being lazy and not taking care of ourselves. It’s not ok to go buy a bag of Lays and a half gallon of ice cream and have at it every time we feel ugly~ because pretty soon, for some of us, that could be our daily diet. It’s actually harmful to our bodies in so many ways and it’s teaching our children that food is the answer. Food is our comfort. Food is our happiness. And God isn’t in the equation. Isaiah 55:2 I Corinthians 10:31 I wish I had started my healthy journey earlier but after my daughter Jessica went to college I decided it was time for change. I started working out. I ate right. I lifted. I lost weight and gained muscle. But when I looked in the mirror I was still discouraged. All that work would not take away the hidden wrinkling, sagging skin that age allows to creep up on us. It didn’t take away my hidden flabby tummy after having four children and a hysterectomy. It didn’t take away the hidden dimples (aka cellulite) I had in all the wrong places or the varicose veins that looked like a road map on my thighs. I just learned how to hide it all. But my heart was hidden too. Hidden behind push up bras, loose shirts and control top panty hose. Why was I hiding behind these things in self loathing doubt and why do I still try to hide? Because I’m not hiding God’s words in my heart. Romans 8:9-11 That’s where it has to start and that’s what we have to keep going back to. Over and over and over. That thought process is very, very foreign to so many of us. We can’t win this battle on our own ladies. We can only win with Christ in our hearts and His power on our lives. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 So this is my journey. ✔️To take care of this body He has given me. To work hard on the things I CAN change but accept the things I PHYSICALLY can not. Matthew 6:27 ✔️To continue to stay healthy, eat healthy and work out. ✔️To tirelessly play with my grandchildren and someday see them graduate and get married. (And maybe my great grandchildren one day too.) ✔️To understand that outward beauty is vanity but inward beauty is EVERYTHING. Proverbs 31:30 ✔️To focus on the beauty of my Lord and continually remind myself that when He looks at me, He sees beautiful. Song of Solomon 4:7, Isaiah 62:3, Psalm 90:17 ✔️To understand that He has made me in HIS image. Genesis 1:26-26,31 HIS IMAGE!! That’s HUGE! ✔️To look in the mirror and choose to be like Christ and not like the world’s standard of beauty. Psalms 17:15 ✔️To trust that God knew about each part of my body before I was even born. He knew about every future wrinkle, every dimple, every sag and every measurement and when He celebrated my very first birth day~ He said “perfect”. Psalms 139:13-17, Luke 12:7, ✔️To teach my granddaughters what beauty really means in God’s eyes. Romans 10:15 ✔️To show them they are strong and can accomplish anything with Christ in their heart and God by their side. Ephesians 2:10, I Peter 2:9, Philippians 4:13 ✔️To know that it’s not about me but it’s all about God. And God’s beauty shines brighter and longer and more magnificent than any wall mural this world has to offer. Psalm 90:17 And that’s all I need to know. Because I am made in His image.
5/8/2018
Fix My MarriageFIX MY MARRIAGE!
Why does “marriage” get such a bad rap? Why do men complain to other men that they “won’t ever get any physical attention” once the ring goes on, while women whine to other women about everything their husbands do wrong? I remember the early years of our marriage like it was yesterday. We had this “mixed tape” of love songs we’d listen to while we kissed on the couch. All. The. Time. And then life happened. Cue the babies, sleepless nights, dirty diapers and terrible two’s. Suddenly they’re in high school with teenage drama, sporting events, graduations and college prep and before you know it you are planning weddings and baby showers. The “kissing” sessions on the couch became few and far between. At times there would be a lull in the busyness and we would find ourselves on that couch like a couple of teenagers, but more often than not, we had to purposely make the time for each other (no matter how exhausted we were) to love on each other and rekindle the romance. We had to remember the “us” of our early years. When we didn’t, the irritability levels rose and the fights became more frequent. Why is it that even today, after 32 years of marriage I can be listening to a love song that gives me all those mushy, wedding night vibes toward my husband but five minutes after he walks in the door he will say or do something that irritates the snot out of me? Here’s the shocking answer to that question~ I am selfish~not selfless. I want those mushy feelings, but only on my terms, where “happily ever after” revolves around me. Too often I focus on me and my day and don’t take into account the kind of day my husband had. There’s so many good books out there with advice on how to fix a broken marriage, but ladies~I have found that the BEST book on marriage was penned by God Himself and HIS first step to fixing your marriage is this: Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 2:5-8) He made Himself of no reputation by completely emptying Himself of all the glory due Him. He became a Servant. He forgives our every trespass and loves us unconditionally, expecting NOTHING in return. He gave His very life for us. I’m not saying that every day will be a bed of roses if we apply these principles and I can guarantee your marriage won’t instantly be amazing. Some days will be hard, very hard. Do whatever it takes to continually have the mind of Christ. Don’t give up. Fight for your marriage. Plaster notecards everywhere and set alarms on your phone that say~ !!! HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST !!! Strive to look at your own heart before casting blame and then forgive and forgive and forgive again. Always remember the mushy feelings and “make-out” sessions. Love unconditionally, expecting nothing in return. And finally~ when we are tempted to blow up at our husbands, or wallow in self-pity, when we feel like “that was the last straw”~ think about all Jesus forgave of you and what He endured to accomplish that. If you want your marriage to be fixed, fix your eyes on Christ. (Hebrews 12:2) Christ is our ultimate example and with His help we can continually press toward that mark (Phil. 3:14) and finally give marriage a good name. The one God always intended. One of my daughters exudes energy from the moment she gets out of bed. She takes after her dad in that area. Unfortunately, my other three children take after their mother 😂 It doesn't matter what time I go to sleep at night, I can get 10 hours of sound sleep, but first thing out of bed? Don't talk to me until I've had at least 2+cups of coffee~i.e. noon. 😂 Just kidding (but a little serious) So I stumble out of bed and downstairs to pour my first cup. My husband (bless his heart) gets up at 5:30am every day to drive a bus and always makes himself a few pieces of toast before leaving. Inevitably, every morning, even in my grumpy state of grogginess, I notice that there are crumbs EVERYWHERE (I'm a little OCD about cleaning. That's another devotional in itself) and as I'm wiping down the counter and floor (before any coffee, mind you) I am muttering to myself~'I could make a whole loaf of bread out of the crumbs he leaves behind'. Why do we as humans, and especially women, tend to look at the bad in situations instead of the good, especially with those we supposedly love the most? God had to really nudge me over this. In fact, He nudged my heart so hard that I almost fell over. I was cleaning (again) and as I washed our telephone down He brought to my mind all the times my mom would come to stay with us and how somehow she always managed to get makeup caked on my phone during her visit. It would drive me crazy. I would wonder how in the world that was even possible and yet, today I miss it terribly. I would give anything for her to be here getting makeup on my phone. The next morning I looked at those bread crumbs a little differently. I thanked God they were there. I thanked Him for a husband who gets up so early to provide for his family. I thanked Him for a husband who loves me so much that he tiptoes downstairs so I can get an extra hour of sleep. I thanked Him for all the thoughtful things my husband does on a daily basis and purposed in my heart not to let the little things that irritate me outshine all the amazing reasons I love him. When your heart tends to focus on the bad (which is way too easy to do after 30+ years of marriage) ask God to change your heart, not your husband. Take the time every day to thank him for at least one thing you love about him, even if you feel like you can't think of anything at the moment 😂. God will show you the man you fell in love with and before long you will be thanking Him for those bread crumbs too.
2/11/2017
Kay Jewelers Has Nothing On YouI'll be the first to admit it. I was a wimp when I was newly married. When I was sick, I wanted to be coddled. My mom was so good at it. My new husband was not. I soon learned that he didn't have a compassionate bone in his body. At one point I had to have a sinus procedure done and my nose was packed with gauze for quite a long time. When the Dr was finally able to take it out, it was an extremely painful procedure. I had to stay until I was no longer dizzy and when the nurse finally walked me out to the waiting room all I could think was~ "I just want someone to take care of me". My dear husband stood up, walked over, and in front of a waiting room full of people announced quite loudly~ "your nose looks like you could park a car up there". There have been many moments in my 31 years of marriage just like this one. I could choose to pout or be hurt, (and believe me, I was hurt) I could choose to cry and become bitter and angry or I could choose to forgive, to respect, to cherish and to show compassion despite rarely receiving any. I could choose to love as Christ loves and daily bring my marriage and my husband before Him. Valentine's Day is always so commercialized. Hope springs eternal for wives across the country with jewelry and candy in abundance. We as women can tend to wish we could have a husband just like the one Kay Jewelers found. But when we think this way, we tend to overlook all the reasons we fell in love with our own husband to begin with. Just a few short months ago Mike announced that he had bought me an anniversary gift. With hands behind his back and a huge smile on his face, he presented me with it and when I saw it, I laughed and I cried. It wasn't diamonds or flowers or candy. It was an Amope Pedi Perfect. I cried because I had told him almost 4 months earlier how nice it would be to own one. It was never brought up again, but he loves me and he remembered. It wasn't about the gift, it was about the heart of a husband who listens and loves. That meant more to me than any diamond. Ladies, marriage is work. There will be ups and downs. There will be hurtful comments made but there will also be beautiful moments. You might be in the hurtful or you might be in the beautiful but most importantly~you are in it. You didn't vow to love, honor and cherish as long as he did. You vowed to~whether he decides to or not~and you vowed it before God. If we are completely honest with ourselves, we've all had our share of the bad moments too. Myself included. I'm not saying that we should overlook some of the devastating issues that happen in marriages. That's another topic in itself. I'm just trying to point out that we can't let all the little things ruin the best thing. The love we have for our best friend and Valentine. This week, don't wait for your valentine to do something amazing for you. YOU do something amazing for him. Purposely pray for him every day. Get out your wedding album. Reminisce. List all the things you love about him. Show him how precious he is to you. Rekindle the love story you both wrote together. Remember that first look, that first date, that first kiss. Kay Jewelers has nothing on you.
12/31/2016
Let The Son ShineI was sitting in my bedroom with the door locked, crying. Again. Sadly, I wasn't one of those moms that never allowed her kids to see their parents fight. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and tell my young self to "stop it". I would tell myself-"dry your tears and look up for a minute at your four children who are watching and listening" Marriage can be tough. There are those sweet times that I write about, but there are also some hard times. Some fighting. Some hurt. Some wrongs on both sides. Marriage isn't easy and life isn't easy. I'm thankful for a husband who forgives but is also willing to ask for forgiveness. This isn't always the case. People will hurt us. Friends and even loved ones will undeservedly hurt us, sometimes over and over. Our hearts can feel like they are breaking and as we sit crying and not understanding why, we have one of two choices. Stay there in that pain and justify our continued, righteous sadness or~ allow Jesus to shine from us. How often did I stay there? Too often. And even as I got older and went through heart aches and trials in my life, it seemed like it was still always about me~ "well God is allowing this to happen for MY good"~ when all along it was never about me, but all about Him. I was just focusing on Charisse too much to see it. Yes, God has a purpose in every trial we go through. Yes, He wants to teach us something through our trials, but we are only human. We feel pain and sadness. Our Savior understands that, and all along He is right there whispering to us~let me take that pain away and shine through you. Sometimes we don't think we can, because our human hearts feel it so deeply that we can't let it go. Just like my children were watching how I reacted, the world is also watching. I would go back in a heartbeat and react differently if I could now, but I can't. That doesn't mean I'm just going to throw in the towel. I will learn from my mistakes and realize now that every hurt, every bad thing that happens is intended for good. Not mine, but His. To show His glory so that others might come to know Him. Every day is a gift. A new beginning to start fresh. His mercy and compassion are new every morning. Today, as we end this year and begin a new one, let's determine not to stay in 2016. Let's open the windows of our hearts to God and even on our cloudiest, darkest days, let the Son, in all His glory, shine.
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