As I was praying about what I could post for Mother’s Day last week, part of me was at a loss. I thought back to my early years of motherhood~
All the helpless moments. The weary days and the long nights.
And all the amazing moments filled with joy and laughter.
The longing in a Grandma’s heart to go back and do it better,
or just to go back and hold them and rock them one more time.
There were times my husband and I thought we had it all figured out, but as I look back now, I realize we didn’t know a thing. With age comes wisdom. The wisdom in admitting that even at this age~I don’t know a thing. That knowledge has my heart searching for answers, and for wisdom from those who have been where I am even now.
And so, I asked my Mother In Law if she could impart wisdom to young moms, and older moms, and all the moms in between. I have always viewed my Mother In Law as the “All Knowing Fountain of Wisdom”, so her response surprised me. Her words were: “I appreciate that you feel that my advice has the potential to be of benefit to anyone, but I fear you may be seeing me through eyes of love.” And so, perhaps I did glean a little age old wisdom in my acknowledgment that~ the older we get, the more we feel we aren’t really wise at all. And yet, her words brought truth to my heart that I wanted to share with all ladies, whether you are a mom or not.
Here are her words:
1. “Marry the right man. When dealing with moms, they have already made that decision for better or worse. The philosophy of “it takes a village” may be popular, but it ideally takes a couple who are willing to devote themselves to raising responsible human beings who know and love God. People who can take care of themselves and others.” (The verdict is still out on whether or not she thinks I chose wisely. She keeps reminding me~”I warned you”… 😂)
2. “Children don’t belong to us. If we do it right they become independent and we feel abandoned until we realize we gave them the tools that made it possible.”
3. Seek backup and be the backup. My mother in law told me that she had “total backup. Husband, parents, in-laws, sisters, all in harmony with their beliefs. Very few people are so blessed.” So often I hear parents sharing hardships on their journey of child rearing, and sadly I also hear the response~’it was your choice to have kids.’ Raising godly children who love the Lord and want to serve Him is probably the hardest yet most important task a mother can do. A task that ultimately brings great glory to God. Be the back up. Don’t demean that task with trivial comments. Just as you have hardships in your life, mom’s do too. Let’s strive to support them on their journey of motherhood and raising little ones who will one day be our next generation.
As I was having my devotions this week, God brought something to my attention. Even Moses, the man who God spoke to directly, needed advice from his Father In Law. Moses could have responded to his Father In Law in a negative way. He could have said- ‘Don’t you realize who you are advising? The man who talks directly to God! Who do you think you are?’ But that wasn’t his response at all . He humbly accepted the advice given, and it helped him tremendously. God could have given that advice to Moses directly, but God chose to use Moses Father in Law to impart that wisdom.
Ladies, we don’t have it all figured out. We never will until we get to glory, especially when it comes to this mom thing. Learn to seek wisdom from those who have traveled this journey before us. I’m so thankful I did. My Mother In Law may believe that I see her this way through eyes of love, but God has used her in mighty ways in my life, and for that I will forever be thankful.
Marry the right man. Give your children to God. Seek backup. Be the backup. Four simple things, yet four things that can change your life and the lives of your children for eternity.
Thank you Mom! I love you!