12/31/2016
Let The Son ShineI was sitting in my bedroom with the door locked, crying. Again. Sadly, I wasn't one of those moms that never allowed her kids to see their parents fight. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and tell my young self to "stop it". I would tell myself-"dry your tears and look up for a minute at your four children who are watching and listening" Marriage can be tough. There are those sweet times that I write about, but there are also some hard times. Some fighting. Some hurt. Some wrongs on both sides. Marriage isn't easy and life isn't easy. I'm thankful for a husband who forgives but is also willing to ask for forgiveness. This isn't always the case. People will hurt us. Friends and even loved ones will undeservedly hurt us, sometimes over and over. Our hearts can feel like they are breaking and as we sit crying and not understanding why, we have one of two choices. Stay there in that pain and justify our continued, righteous sadness or~ allow Jesus to shine from us. How often did I stay there? Too often. And even as I got older and went through heart aches and trials in my life, it seemed like it was still always about me~ "well God is allowing this to happen for MY good"~ when all along it was never about me, but all about Him. I was just focusing on Charisse too much to see it. Yes, God has a purpose in every trial we go through. Yes, He wants to teach us something through our trials, but we are only human. We feel pain and sadness. Our Savior understands that, and all along He is right there whispering to us~let me take that pain away and shine through you. Sometimes we don't think we can, because our human hearts feel it so deeply that we can't let it go. Just like my children were watching how I reacted, the world is also watching. I would go back in a heartbeat and react differently if I could now, but I can't. That doesn't mean I'm just going to throw in the towel. I will learn from my mistakes and realize now that every hurt, every bad thing that happens is intended for good. Not mine, but His. To show His glory so that others might come to know Him. Every day is a gift. A new beginning to start fresh. His mercy and compassion are new every morning. Today, as we end this year and begin a new one, let's determine not to stay in 2016. Let's open the windows of our hearts to God and even on our cloudiest, darkest days, let the Son, in all His glory, shine.
8/27/2016
Your Knight In Shining ArmorI apologize for my long post this week. I have just felt that God wants me to share my love story with our single young ladies, especially those leaving for college soon. I can't help but think back to that time in my life. Somehow I usually ended up going out with the wrong kind of guy. I seemed to be drawn to the bad boys. I decided who I would date in college by how the boy dressed and looked and that was about it. Obviously this didn't help my walk with God at all and the closer I got to the wrong kind of guy the farther I got from God. My sophomore year I was introduced to Mike. Despite the fact that my parents adored him and my mother was adamant that I should go out with him, I was not attracted to him. NOT AT ALL. In a Miami Vice era, he wore polyester, three piece suits and cowboy boots. His style was no style. I knew that he was a good guy and I knew he loved the Lord. I knew he would probably make an awesome husband but at the time none of that mattered to this young 18 year old. One evening I found out that he was going to ask me out. I knew my mom would kill me if I said no, so I hid from him! I went out to my friend's van with tinted windows and hid inside. That man walked right out to the van~and even then I did not acknowledge him, so he knocked on the window! Obviously I went out with him. Obviously I fell in love with him and married him. In fact, I was almost sure I was in love with him after the first date. What made the difference? His tremendous love for God. As I sat and listened to him on our first date I knew that this man would make me happy because he desired to make God happy. I could almost see my future on that first date and I loved it and I loved him and I knew right then that all those bad boys had no desire to please God, but only wanted to please themselves. My walk with God changed on that first date. Many of my old friends were angry at this change in my heart and life and I can understand why. But I knew it was real and I knew this was the beginning of an amazing life. Ladies, it has been amazing. I wouldn't change it for anything. Don't dismiss a guy just because he looks or dresses a certain way. Don't just live in the now. Look deep into your heart and picture the life you crave. The stepping stone into your future begins right now with the choices you choose to make. Don't ever settle. Choose a man that desires to glorify God and not himself. You can write your own love story today when you open your heart and see the heart of a young man who loves Christ. Once you do, that young man will suddenly become your knight in shining armor. So ladies, pick up the pen and start your story. The happily ever after is up to you.
What do you do when your Superman is sick? What do you do when there are only three days until your daughter's wedding and your "everything man" is in pain and not allowed to do a thing? My husband is a rock. He is your "go to" guy. If you need something done, if you want to know how to fix something or how to get somewhere, just ask him. He drops everything to help others, day or night. My kids say "Dad doesn't feel pain like normal human beings", so what do I do when he really is in pain? When the man I have learned to lean on so much needs to lean on me? I learn to allow myself to lean on others and accept the many offers to help. It is humbling and so very appreciated. I take comfort in the prayers of so many, and I lean on my Jesus. I pray and I pray and when I'm too tired to think, I just whisper to Jesus and He holds me and makes everything ok. God gives us miraculous strength when we didn't think there was any strength left. I know so many of you have husbands who are going through much worse. It's so hard to see the one who means everything to us hurting so bad. You might feel like you can't make it through another day. Learn to lean on those who want to help and more importantly, lean on Jesus. Whisper His name. Your husband may be your Superman but the God who created the universe is your Savior and He will carry you through.
7/30/2016
How Quickly Life Can ChangeI wrote this post on Thursday while I was waiting for the surgery to be over. Praise the Lord all went well and now we just wait to see what God has planned for his vision.
How quickly life can change within a week's time. Last week I was working on my daughter's wedding dress when I posted on my ladies page and this week I am sitting in a hospital waiting for my husband to get out of a surgery that we had no idea he would be having. All the little things I wanted to finish before the wedding seem so trivial to me now. Retina detachment surgery is not a life or death procedure but your mind can tend to think about things like that when your signing forms concerning anesthesia. When your husband is giving you instructions on the drive down "just in case". When you kiss him as they wheel him away for surgery. As I lay in bed last night with my best friend sleeping next to me, I prayed and thought about many things. I thought about this post and I wondered if I could sum up my feelings in one word. The first word that came to my mind was grateful. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought about everyone that was praying for us. I feel that my words can't even come close to describing how thankful I am. I'm so grateful for all of you, all the prayers and the outpouring of love. I'm so grateful for a God who hears us even when we can't utter a word. Our awesome God who can hear the prayer of thousands at the same time and our God of all comfort who makes me feel even now as if He is carrying me through with a peace that passes understanding. I know everything is going to be okay because no matter what, my Savior will be holding Mike in His arms. And I am grateful. 💗
6/18/2016
A Picture Of Our FatherSome of the sweetest memories I cherish are the memories of my mom and dad while I was growing up. Even though we went through some very hard times together, my parents did everything they could to make my childhood special. I have such sweet memories of my dad singing to me all through elementary school. Sadly, I know of many friends who's childhood was horrific, who's father was anything but a father. I truly believe the relationship we established with our dads growing up influences our relationship with our Heavenly Father more than we know. I never knew anything about our household finances growing up, dad took care of that and never talked about it. Today I seem to find it easy to have the faith that God will take care of our family financially when it might look like an impossible task. But when my parents split up for a while, I had so much worry and so many trust issues during that time. Today I tend to worry much more about relationships in my life, wondering if everything is going to be ok. I'm not saying this is all my dad's fault or that it's okay to blame a lukewarm or non existent walk with God on our fathers. I am an adult now and my walk with God is solely my responsibility and any areas I am lacking in are because of me, not my parents. My point is that when a man becomes a dad he probably doesn't even think about being a picture of the Heavenly Father to his children, but he is and that's huge. It's not up to us as women to ridicule or try to fix our kid's daddy. It's up to us to be their greatest encourager and to love them with our everything and to pray for them more than anyone, realizing the heavy responsibility that they have on their shoulders because our kids are also watching us and how we react to their father. Someday that's exactly how they will react to their Heavenly Father. That's huge too. They will either love Him with their everything or treat God as if He can't get it right. Praise God that He always gets it right and that no matter what kind of father we had growing up, our Heavenly Father has always been there. He knew and loved us before we were even born. He is the perfect Daddy and longs to take care of us. We can have a Father like this. That might be easy for you to comprehend, or it might be very hard. Psalms 86:15 tells us He is a God full of compassion. He wants us to feel safe and loved in His arms. Romans 8:15 tells us He wants us to cry out to Him~"Abba Father or Daddy". Ladies, pray for our kid's daddies. Thank God for them. Praise God He has given us an opportunity to show our children the deep love a Father can have for them no matter what their home life is like, then rest in His arms and find the safety, comfort and compassion of the Father who loves you more than words can ever express. The great I Am.
6/4/2016
Choose Happily Ever AfterClose your eyes for a moment and think about the day you got married. Think about how you felt when you woke up that morning, how you felt getting ready and then walking down the aisle toward him. Think about the way your heart felt as the music was played and you stood next to him holding hands and think about the next morning, waking up beside the love of your life, your best friend. Move ahead to today and how you felt waking up beside him. Perhaps some of you are still in the honeymoon stage and all those feelings are present. Perhaps you are happy but your marriage has become mundane or perhaps you woke up wondering why you were even still married with desperation and sadness in your heart. Mike and I have been married for 30 years and even though most of the time others may look at us and think we have a great marriage, my heart has been through all of the stages I mentioned above. It hasn't been a fairy tale. There have been moments that I wished I wasn't married to this man who hurt me and I'm sure he has had moments where he felt the same about me. I haven't always been the right example in front of my kids. We haven't always shown them a marriage the way God intended it to be but its never too late to start, ever. I know in my heart that if it wasn't for God and His strength and His grace, I could not have made it through. There's so much I've learned in the last 30 years and so much I'm still learning but one thing I know for sure about everyone's marriage is this~happily ever after can begin with you. It's not a fairy tale. It's a choice. It's not up to your spouse, it's up to you. Please join us every Sunday night at 6pm this month as Pastor Mike teaches on marriage. Whether you are in an amazing relationship or one that is hurting, whether you are single or a grandparent, this time in Gods word can help so much. Choose Happily Ever After today.
2/13/2016
What Love IsI grew up in a home with a dad who was the picture of romance. He always brought my mom flowers, cards & special gifts. I assumed all men were romantic like that. My first Valentines Day while dating my husband proved otherwise. I was so excited that morning. "What would he have planned? Did he pick out the perfect card or flowers? I got to college that day and saw him across the hall. My heart leapt. I walked up to him, smiling coyly (which I don't think he noticed) but he just looked at me and said "hey babe" I did my best flirty gaze but still nothing. The bell rang and I had to go to class. I convinced myself that he was going to surprise me but each hour that passed made me realize he didn't even know it was Valentine's Day. Of course by the end of the day my demeanor changed drastically (he did notice that) and as I left to go home I pouted "you forgot it was Valentine's Day!!" Later he tried to make it up to me by bringing me a plant and poem but my heart was a little crushed (and a plant wasn't really my idea of romance) I thought the romance thing would get better but a few years into our marriage I saw that my sweet husband didn't have a romantic bone in his body. I let the sadness over this dictate my joy a little too often to admit. I learned a valuable lesson in the early years of marriage that I continue to work on 30 years later. If your joy is dependent on your husband or anyone for that matter, eventually there will be times the happiness of that relationship will be crushed or saddened, maybe over and over again, because joy, true joy, only comes from Jesus. If I depend wholly on my Savior to give me joy and happiness and not people or things, He will never fail me. That doesn't mean that I won't ever be hurt or disappointed by someone I love, we are only human, but if I start thinking about myself and my wants and looking to Mike alone to fulfill that, I can go downhill really fast. Ladies, don't look to your boyfriend, your fiancé or your husband for your happiness. Look only to Your Heavenly Father. Ask Him to fill you with so much love for the Savior that your heart is overflowing and needs nothing else. His love for us is indescribable. Nothing can compare, even the most romantic man in the world. This Valentine's Day give your whole heart to Jesus. Take time every day to read His love letter to you and feel His love surround you completely.
( And just for the record, my husband has the exact amount of romance God knew I needed. He is the most thoughtful and giving person I know and I truly believe that if I hadn't decided long ago to look to Jesus for joy I would have missed all the amazing ways God has shone me that my husband loves me so dearly. |
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