This Mundane Marriage Thing

THIS MUNDANE MARRIAGE THING~

Back in 1985, the church we were married in always had the bridal party wait in the back stairwell after the ceremony. Once everyone was dismissed we then emerged for final pictures before the reception.

I will never forget those moments after I had just been pronounced his wife.
Hidden in that stairwell.
We couldn’t stop kissing and laughing and talking about how much fun our wedding was, and how we would do it all over again.

As I think about this, I recall a talk I had with my mom the last year she was alive. She told me that despite many ups and down through the years, it was like she and dad were honeymooners all over again. She passed away a few short months later. She was 62.

I can’t seem to get that off of my mind.

What if I only have a few short months left with my husband? What happened to that girl that was in the stairwell? The girl who couldn’t stop kissing. The girl who couldn’t stop smiling.

I get mad at the clothes laying on the floor in the bathroom. I get irritated when he leaves his coat flung everywhere~except on a hook just inside the front door. I want to strangle him when he walks across clean floors with dirty, wet shoes. I get hurt when life is weighing on him and he loses his patience with me or falls asleep while I’m talking to him. And sometimes I want to smother him with my pillow when he won’t stop snoring.

Stupid, petty things.

A lot can change in 34 years. Maybe your own marriage has changed. You find yourself saddened that the honeymoon seems to be over. The romance and spark has been replaced with irritability.

Your marriage has become mundane.

It doesn’t have to be this way, in fact, it never should be this way~no matter how old you are or how long you have been married.

Don’t waste another day upset over petty things, irritated or hurt because you lack an empathetic heart.

That boy you married is the man sitting next to you now.
That smile he had for you is still the same.

Is yours?

Maybe it’s just hidden.
Hidden in an old stairwell.

You can share that laughter again ~
If you choose to look for it by finding the good.

In the clothes on the floor~
because one day they might not be there. In the coat flung someplace different on a daily basis~
because even though he was busy, he ran errands for you.
In the wet shoe prints through the house~
because he shoveled all that snow.
In the lack of patience ~
because he’s working several jobs to pay the bills.
When he falls asleep~
because he’s getting up at 5 am to work those jobs.
When he’s snoring~
because his presence brings comfort and peace in the darkness of night.

He is your constant.
Your best friend.

There’s always, always something good if we choose to truly look for it. When we change our hearts towards our husbands and our hearts become thankful~
our marriages will look a whole lot different.

Every day can be like a honeymoon.
And you can be that girl
~kissing and laughing and saying~

I would do it all over again.