FIX MY MARRIAGE!
Why does “marriage” get such a bad rap? Why do men complain to other men that they “won’t ever get any physical attention” once the ring goes on, while women whine to other women about everything their husbands do wrong?
I remember the early years of our marriage like it was yesterday. We had this “mixed tape” of love songs we’d listen to while we kissed on the couch.
All. The. Time.
And then life happened.
Cue the babies, sleepless nights, dirty diapers and terrible two’s. Suddenly they’re in high school with teenage drama, sporting events, graduations and college prep and before you know it you are planning weddings and baby showers. The “kissing” sessions on the couch became few and far between. At times there would be a lull in the busyness and we would find ourselves on that couch like a couple of teenagers, but more often than not, we had to purposely make the time for each other (no matter how exhausted we were) to love on each other and rekindle the romance. We had to remember the “us” of our early years. When we didn’t, the irritability levels rose and the fights became more frequent.
Why is it that even today, after 32 years of marriage I can be listening to a love song that gives me all those mushy, wedding night vibes toward my husband but five minutes after he walks in the door he will say or do something that irritates the snot out of me?
Here’s the shocking answer to that question~
I am selfish~not selfless.
I want those mushy feelings, but only on my terms, where “happily ever after” revolves around me. Too often I focus on me and my day and don’t take into account the kind of day my husband had.
There’s so many good books out there with advice on how to fix a broken marriage, but ladies~I have found that the BEST book on marriage was penned by God Himself and HIS first step to fixing your marriage is this:
Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.
He made Himself of no
reputation by completely
emptying Himself of all
the glory due Him.
He became a Servant.
He forgives our every
trespass and loves us
He gave His very life for
I’m not saying that every day will be a bed of roses if we apply these principles and I can guarantee your marriage won’t instantly be amazing. Some days will be hard, very hard. Do whatever it takes to continually have the mind of Christ. Don’t give up. Fight for your marriage. Plaster notecards everywhere and set alarms on your phone that say~
!!! HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST !!! Strive to look at your own heart before casting blame and then forgive and forgive and forgive again. Always remember the mushy feelings and “make-out” sessions. Love unconditionally, expecting nothing in return.
And finally~ when we are tempted to blow up at our husbands, or wallow in self-pity, when we feel like “that was the last straw”~
think about all Jesus forgave of you and what He endured to accomplish that. If you want your marriage to be fixed, fix your eyes on Christ.
Christ is our ultimate example and with His help we can continually press toward that mark (Phil. 3:14) and finally give marriage a good name. The one God always intended.