Fading Into The Background

Most of the time I put a lot of effort into the things I’m passionate about. Being a pastor’s wife, a mom and a grandma is definitely a passion of mine. It takes up a quite a bit of time, but I love every second of it. Even last week, Mike and I put a lot of effort into making beautiful memories with our grandchildren. I put a lot of time into my Holding Hope page as well. I study God’s word, I pray, I notice reactions and emotions to blog posts, I yearn to help.


These things are important to me.


Another area I am passionate about is decorating, specifically the Pilgrim era. I study this time period, I pour over books and pictures and videos. I’m drawn to it and because of my passion for it, I don’t mind putting all that effort into it. I actually love the process.


Here’s the funny thing. Out of all the things in my home that I have arranged and rearranged, of all the things I have purchased because of my love of history and the 17th century, of all the pieces I think are so beautiful~ one thing always stands out to visitors. It’s the one thing they always ask me about…


It isn’t the intricately carved antiques that pilgrims once owned, it’s a crude, primitive hanging shelf. One of the first things Mike made for me in my pursuit of all things pilgrim. I was thrilled with that little piece, a piece I often overlook now because it’s been hanging in the same spot for what feels like forever. A faded memory that has blended into the background.


I thought about that shelf today, and I thought about all the things I’m passionate about. I thought about how those passions have changed through the years and then I thought about the one thing that has remained for what feels like forever. The one thing I was so incredibly passionate about when it first became mine.


My husband.


How easily we allow everything else in our lives to take over the thing we were once so passionate about. We have little children and with all the joy they bring, they also bring little children problems. We have teenagers with teenager problems. We blink and our teenagers are adults and then we have grandchildren. Along the way our jobs, friends and hobbies take up our time.


From the moment we say “I do”, life begins to move on, but the constant is our spouse. The beginning of it all. The love of our life. As the years go by we experience the fatigue of child rearing and before we can blink, the fatigue of old age has crept up upon us. We make a life together, that life might be beautiful but often that life can get in the way and we can easily lose sight of one another through the busyness.


Like my old shelf.


Besides our relationship with God, our marriage is the most important relationship in our life, and yet the one we seem to put the least amount of effort into as the years go by. The one we tend to take for granted the most. I’m not sure why life happens this way.


But it shouldn’t.


Let me encourage you ladies today to put the passion back into your marriage. To notice the one who vowed to spend his life with you, who has been a constant through the good and the bad. Put as much effort into your spouse as you do into your children, your job, your hobbies and your friends. Look over at him now in quiet contemplation and vow in your heart to renew that relationship, whether he is holding your newborn child, or laying back in his easy chair snoring happily.


Our relationship with our spouse isn’t meant to just be passionate the first few years. That passion is meant to last a lifetime. Sometimes we tend to pursue other passions as the years go by, looking for happiness in the “new” when all along our happiness is sitting right beside us.


After a week with our grandchildren we were pretty exhausted. We fell into bed that night and in the quiet darkness, I reached over and held his hand. we began to talk about how much God has blessed our life and how much we had to be thankful for. We prayed together and God showed me in that beautiful moment how often I take the most important person in my life for granted.


Just like that old shelf.
My constant. My lover. My best friend.


Besides my love for God, I want my love for my husband to be so evident that it’s the one thing others always ask me about. I don’t want the passion of my marriage to be a faded memory that has blended into the background of our lives. No matter how old we get, as long as he is by my side I will ask God to continually put that passion in my heart for him above all else~
and I will love the process.