2/16/2024
It’s Not Okay“I’m so sorry.”
“God is in control.” “Give it to Him.” “He has a plan.” “It’s going to be okay.” “God will give you the peace that passes understanding.”… But what if He doesn’t?? These are often the words of friends and loved ones when someone is going through trauma. They’re meant to comfort, but sometimes they don’t. What if your soul is completely wrecked? You’ve prayed. You’ve cried. You’ve begged, you’ve asked. But God remains silent. The pain does not dissipate. This week my husband and I were babysitting our four grandsons. The 2 year old tried to copy his older brother and ended up falling off of a bench. We knew immediately that something was very wrong. His parents were almost 2 hours from home, so we had to get permission to take him to the hospital. It broke my heart. His little body was hurting and he didn’t understand. Throughout the process of exams and X-rays and more exams and more X-rays, his big blue eyes looked lost. He was scared and crying. And over and over his grandpa and the doctors and the nurses sweetly repeated “it’s okay”. I even said it. But it wasn’t okay. Nothing he was going through felt okay. He only wanted to be held. He asked for his daddy, but even after His daddy came home and held him, he cried~because the pain did not go away. He had a broken collarbone and bruised ribs. I kept replaying it in my mind. How many times had we tried to reassure him that “it was okay”. Clearly it wasn’t okay. It was just our way of trying to soothe him. And how often do we as Christian’s do this with others when they are going through their own pain and heartache. When the tears won’t stop and they don’t understand why. We try to comfort with our words, but our words don’t give them the answers they’re seeking. It reminded me of the story of Job in the Bible, and all the heartache he went through. His friends had good intentions in the beginning, they truly desired to comfort him~they even cried with him. But in the end, they didn’t have the answers. Their words didn’t help because they weren’t the words that Job needed, they were the words of those lacking empathy. My grandson had to go through a lot of pain during his exams and X-rays. It was heart wrenching. The crazy thing is, there is no help for a broken collarbone. We do what we can to ease the pain. We are gentle with him, we console, we pray, but ultimately there is no answer. And so we try to give him the comfort he longs for. If you have a friend or loved one going through heartache of their own, you might not have an answer for them either. We can try to give hope. We can encourage with God’s word. We can say it’s going to be okay, but ultimately we can’t fix it or make it better. Only God can. Comfort comes in many forms. Everyone’s view of comfort is different. Ask God for wisdom and discernment when seeking to comfort, but more importantly ask Him to give you compassion and empathy for that particular person. Not what YOU would desire, but what THEY need. Sometimes it’s best just to love on them. Pray for them. Listen to them. Be there with them and cry with them. Don’t try to have all the answers. And if you are going though that pain yourself, be raw with God, just like Job was. There is nothing wrong with just pouring your heart out to Him. Letting the tears flow. Telling Him you don’t understand. Then crying some more. There’s such a lesson to be learned through the child like faith of a toddler. Isaiah doesn’t know how long he has to endure this pain. He doesn’t know why he is hurting, nor does he demand answers from his daddy. Day after day he crawls up onto his daddy’s lap, simply seeking comfort. He cries unashamedly. His daddy can’t take the pain away, but baby Isaiah trusts him fully to care for him as he heals, and ease the pain with his presence. And that’s exactly what we need to do in the middle of our own pain. Despite not having answers. Despite the heart ache, don’t give up hope… Day after day, climb up into your heavenly Daddy’s lap and trust him fully through the tears. Of this I am sure~ your healing will come. Romans 8:28 SCRIPTURE READING: James 5:11 1 Peter 1:6-9 1 Peter 5:7 Psalm 103:13-14 Psalm 91:4-5, 11-12, 14-15 Job 10:15 Job 16:2 , 4-5, 20-21 Job 1:22 Job 42:10 Job 13:15 1 Thessalonians 4:9 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 |
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