Psalm 23
Too often I think we take God’s word for granted. When life is good, our bible can sit unopened for days. When life is bad we want answers ASAP, and quite often look to the words of man over the words of God. We want to read a relatable blog post to help us feel better fast. Blog posts like I write every Saturday. I truly believe that God can use humans to uplift, encourage and convict when needed, but I also want to remind you that God’s words are more powerful than any word man could ever write. They are definitely more powerful than any word I could write. My words are the bandaid. God’s words are eternal. They are the medicine that heals and transforms. They are power. Today I want to share some of that power with you. A few weeks back, I woke up one morning and Psalm 23 was immediately on my heart and mind. That same morning~within the hour~ my daughter-in-law sent a text with a song she wanted to share. A song on Psalm 23. I knew God was speaking to me. I will be honest~this hasn’t been a “go-to” Psalm for me like it is for so many. It is such a familiar Psalm, probably one that many of us know by heart. I often overlook its familiarity. I shouldn’t. And so, I got out concordances and study bibles to dig a little deeper. Today I would like us to take a closer look, because I know these words will touch EVERYONE’S hearts in one way or another. There is so much truth, power and encouragement packed into this little chapter tucked away in the book of Psalms. As you read each verse, let it truly sink in. Ask the Holy Spirit to let it change and transform you. It is a beautiful, powerful Psalm. *The Lord is my Shepherd~ a Shepherd takes care of EVERY SINGLE need His sheep have. They are 100% dependent on Him. Philippians 4:19, Isaiah 40:11, John 10:11 *I shall not want~ When I was younger, I used to think that this meant I shouldn’t want “things”, that I should be content with what I have. Now that I have lived life for almost 60 years, I understand it so much better. He has ALWAYS provided for me. I may not have felt it in the moment, but when I look back at every hard situation I have been through, God made sure I had everything I needed. Because He is our shepherd, He will make sure we have everything we need. We will want for nothing that isn’t absolutely needed. Psalm 37:25 *He makes me lie down in green pastures~ green pastures are lush. They are nourishing and they are comforting. When we abide in God’s word and trials come, the Holy Spirit will bring to our minds comforting scripture to help us get through it. John 6:63, 14:26, 15:7 *He leads me beside the still waters~ sheep get startled easily, the presence of Jesus leads us to stillness and rest, away from the chaos and stress all around us and anything that might bring us fear. Revelation 7:17 *He restores my soul~ even the times we find ourselves fearful, or exhausted, He always restores us. “God can restore the joy of our salvation (Psalm 51:12) and bring us back to where we began believing in Him” Sarah Freymuth. Philippians 4:13, Deuteronomy 31:6, Isaiah 40:31, 41:10, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Matthew 11:28, Psalm 31:24, 51:12 *He leads me in the path of righteousness for His names sake~ God will lead us on the correct path no matter how far we stray, all to His glory. “God’s glory is tied to His goodness, and God’s goodness is tied to His name” Sarah Frazer. Psalm 5:8, Ephesians 1:18-19, Isaiah 58:8, Psalm 31:3, 138:7, John 17: 15,17,22-23 *Though I walk through the valley, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me~ Our valley may be the darkest we have ever walked through, but we have the assurance from His word that there is nothing to fear because He is always with us. “Often, our next step isn’t walking forward; it’s remembering who God is. God is loving. God is kind. God is patient. God is just. God is all-capable and all-knowing. God is forgiving. God is generous. God is good. Praying these truths about who God is will comfort us in our panic.” Lysa TerKeurst. Psalm 3:6, 27:1, Hebrews 13:5, Romans 8:38-39 *Thy rod and staff comfort me~ a rod and staff can be for chastisement, but also for leading and guiding. Whatever we are going through, it is ultimately used for our good. This verse takes us back to verses 2 & 3, almost as if we need to hear it again. He will lead us to the paths of righteousness, but He will also comfort us along the way. *Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies~ who or what are your enemies? Your thoughts? Your fears? Your insecurities? Physical ailments? Unrest? People that continually hurt or anger you? Whatever that enemy is that is surrounding you, you can sit and eat at the table of God’s bounty, because He is sitting there with you. This is such a beautiful picture. I can almost see myself surrounded by war on every side, yet sitting at a feast in complete peace. That’s what God can do in our lives. That is powerful. Philippians 4:7, Proverbs 16:7, Isaiah 26:3-4, *Thou anointest my head with oil~ Jesus has covered you in the anointing oil of prayer. What a beautiful thought. Jesus prays for us. Oil is also a symbol for rejoicing, gladness and God’s blessing in jewish society. Psalm 45:7, 104:15, John 17:15, 17, 22-23 *My cup runs over~ we are blessed beyond measure, our cups run over with blessings if we will just open our eyes to see it. James 1:17 *Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life~ God’s goodness will always be with us. Always. Until we take our last breath. His mercy will always pour over us. His compassion and forgiveness will never cease. Psalm 78:38-39, Lamentations 3:22-23, Hebrews 4:16, Ephesians 2:4-7, 1 Peter 1:3 *And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever~ always with God whether here on earth or in heaven one day. An eternity spent with the One who loves us more than anything. John 5:24, Romans 6:23, John 1:12, Matthew 28:20 Such simple truths to cling to~ whether we’re laying in that lush grass of comfort and peace, or walking through the darkest valley~ they literally hold the answer to every circumstance we might face. Preach them to yourself often, dwell on them and hide them in your heart. Teach them to your children and your children’s children. Psalms 71:18, 78:4, 100:5, 102:18, 145:4 The Lord is my Shepherd. Oh the sweetness that promise holds.
10/13/2023
Flaws And AllI have been reading God’s word since I was 12 years old, but I can remember my mom reading me Bible stories before I was ever in school. When I was younger, I used to think that the people God used were all flawless heroes of the faith. The older I get, the more my perspective has changed.
The ladies at my church are doing a Bible study right now on Women of the Bible. When you study 5 women each month, it really opens your eyes. God has taught me so many truths through this study. One that has stood out to me over and over is this~ throughout history He has used imperfect women to accomplish His perfect will. Women just like me. Women just like you. And that gives me so much hope. Homemakers and working women, servants and queens, teenagers and elderly, women of ill repute, and women immersed in the work of the kingdom. He never asks them to become someone they are not. He redeems, He indwells and He provides. He uses each one with their unique personalities, flaws and all. And that prompted my thoughts today. God doesn’t want us to change our personalities to fit a cookie cutter mold of what the world thinks we should be, and He certainly doesn’t want us to change our personalities to a cookie cutter mold we THINK christian women are supposed to be. He wants us to be what His word tells us to be. He wants us to be us. He created us exactly the way we are, and He wants to use our unique personalities for His glory. God created me with an introvert personality. I am a housewife and a homebody. And I love it. That is who He made me. He doesn’t want me to try harder to be an extrovert, or be disappointed in myself for not having a prestigious 9-5 job. There will be times that He asks me to step out of my comfort zone to better glorify Him, but He never requires me to be someone else. Here is the thing I want you to get~you be you, not some version of what the world tells you to be. My friend sent me a very revealing quote a few months back, and I’m just going to drop it right here because it says SO MUCH. "We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving. We pride ourselves on getting as little sleep as possible and thrive on self-deprivation. We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins. We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We never want to be as passive-aggressive as our mothers, never want to marry men as uninspired as our fathers. We are the daughters of the feminists who said, 'You CAN be anything,' and we heard, 'You HAVE TO be everything.'" Courtney Martin We continually hear the shouts telling us that we HAVE to be everything and if we aren’t, then we are flawed. Sometimes those shouts come from within us. You don’t have to BE EVERYTHING my friend. You just have to be you. All of that stuff, that’s what the world is constantly screaming at us. But that’s not what God is whispering to our hearts. Let’s examine ourselves ladies. What are we passing down to the next generation? Because sometimes I believe we all are hanging on by a thread, instead of the hem of HIS garment. Do we really want our daughters and granddaughters to be the ones with all the issues wrapped up in that quote, or do we want them to be themselves~walking through each day with Jesus and wrapped up in Him~being exactly who HE made them to be. We are being the example that they see. We are teaching them with our own behavior. Are we always too busy? Are we always stressed? Are we trying to be too serious, too relentless? Are we too judgmental of ourselves? Are we even being ourselves? Are we happy? Truly happy? Can we be silly, and laugh, can we play and have fun, or are our busy lives consuming our every waking minute? Is your life the life you wish for your daughter? And so, I will repeat what I wrote last week- Who am I? I am crucified with Christ, yet not I, but Christ. I am me, the introvert, shy, wife, mom, grandma, pastor’s wife, homemaker and blogger. Exactly the person God created me to be. And my constant prayer will be that the life I live isn’t the life the world is screaming it should be, but it’s the life I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I pray all our lives can exemplify this to our daughters and their children. I want to encourage you to always use the unique personality God gave you to glorify Him in every single thing that you do. That is my own prayer~ A flawed hero of the faith. Just by being me. SCRIPTURE READING: Galatians 2:20 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 Romans 12:1-8 2 Corinthians 8:11-15
10/7/2023
Peace Be StillI barely came up for air when another wave crashed down upon me.
There had been a respite. I felt His peace, and relief swept over me. Trials seemed to be eased, and prayers answered. Until this week. It wasn’t a horrible diagnosis, a job loss or a death. It was a small attack of satan in the middle of the night as I slept peacefully, completely unaware. For the second time in a week, my Facebook account was hacked. Not only was it hacked, but the person posing as me posted evil pictures on my page, and in a chat. I woke up to a notification on my phone. Facebook told me I had violated their policies and I was locked out. I was sick inside. I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t even defend myself. I couldn’t tell any of you, or ask for prayer. I felt so confused inside. Was this Satan attacking me, or God trying to teach me something? I prayed all day. I also tried to refute the issue, and somehow defend myself in order to get control back of my page. But at the end of the day, my weary heart realized it wasn’t in my control at all. It actually never was. And honestly, Meta may think they have control, but God has the final say. So I had to ask myself~ do I have enough faith to trust Him through this? What if Holding Hope disappeared? What if 12,000 followers became 1 and I had to start all over? What if I couldn’t use this platform to reach others again? What if God was saying “no” to me, would that be ok? What if the “busy” things I was complaining about in my heart last week were my reality this week? I am not questioning God. I am asking Him for discernment and wisdom to know why this is happening. I am checking my own heart for sin. I am asking God to overcome the wicked one, and the darkness that seemed to have won. It’s incredibly hard for me to be able to read the comments on my posts, comments asking for prayer or saying things are hard right now~and I am unable to respond. I am unable to encourage. But, encouragement won’t end with me. If my page were to end today, God is faithful. He will send others to those in need of encouragement. I am reminded of my words from last week again. I am not God. God will be God, with or without me, and He will get the glory. Satan may have attacked, but God has taught me so much in just a few short days. He is my light in the darkness. His light will continue to shine and He will prevail. And if I am able, that is the message I want to leave with you. Whatever you are facing today, continue to pray through it. That is literally all I can do right now. Continue to check your own heart. Continue to ask God for wisdom and discernment. Continue to fight that darkness with Jesus’ light. Even if you were falsely accused. Even if you can’t defend yourself. Even if you feel all is lost. Even when it looks like Satan has won and the winds and waves are just too much to bear, remember~ our God walks on water and our God walks on the wings of the wind. Our God is light in that darkness. Our God always makes a way. This morning I came back up for air and the winds and the waves did not overcome. I could hear His very words~Peace be still. And so I wait. As I write this I am still locked out, but I’m not alone. God is in complete control. None of this came as a surprise to Him. You are not alone either. You are never alone. God is with you. His light will shine through your darkness. He will calm the storms around you and He will prevail when all seems lost. Even in the unknown~The battle has already been won my friends, and Jesus is our Victor!! SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 139:11-12 Psalm 34:4, 6, 8, 15, 17, 19, 22 1 Corinthians 10:13 Psalm 35:1-2, 7, 9-12, 15-23, 25, 27-28 Psalm 36:5, 7, 9-11 Psalm 37:1, 3-7, 23-26, 32-33, 35-36, 39-40 Psalm 104:3 Mark 4:39-40 Matthew 14:25, 27, 30-33 1 Corinthians 15:57 Romans 8:37 2 Corinthians 2:14 Deuteronomy 20:4 Romans 8:31 John 16:33 Isaiah 55:11 Why does life feel like a chore to me?
That was my first thought the other morning. I was tired before I even got out of bed. Not wanting to escape the warmth, I laid there thinking back to a time when I used to wake up excited about the day ahead. What happened to that girl? I thought I had it all figured out. I told myself there was just too much on my plate. Too much busyness. Too much weariness. My mind felt like there were a thousand things going on all at once, and I couldn’t make it stop. I wanted it to stop. It was exhausting me. How do I find myself here again? I don’t know how many blog posts I’ve written on this subject, and yet I fall prey to its defeat again and again. Google tells me we have anywhere from 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day. We have 6-7 thoughts per minute. 95% of our thoughts are repetitive, and 80% are negative. Why is that? What feeds that negativity? The world tells me busy is better. It chides me to do it all. I work part time from home. I also have a stitching business. I over stress trying to be a good wife, mom and pastor’s wife. I hold Bible studies and ladies meetings. I schedule and teach and study and pray. I write a blog and run a Facebook page. I create more content, to gain more followers, to encourage more ladies, to have more hope. But somehow along the way, I continually seem to lose my own hope under a pile of busy. And that’s when the devil tells me that I am failing. He convinces me that I don’t want to be a pastor’s wife with ministry responsibilities, I just want to be a plain old wife. I don’t want to create posts or write a devotional every single week. I just want to scroll and be fed by someone else. I just want to be me. I just want to not have to think. And I will be honest ladies, that morning I told God ALL of that. I tried telling Him that I am a homebody, an empathetic introvert who wears other’s heartaches on her sleeve. “Don’t you know this is all too much for me?” I asked. As if He doesn’t know me. And that’s when the Holy Spirit revealed to me that my thoughts had gained control over my heart. My busy schedule and commitments overwhelm my soul. What “new” message of hope I can give to my followers constantly captures my thoughts. The heartache of others is continually on my mind. I find myself thinking about ALL of these things more than I think about GOD Himself. In fact, I’m sure it would be safe to say that 80% of my thoughts are “busy” thoughts, maybe more. That means only 20% of my thoughts are being still with God and thinking about Him. And therein lies the problem. Life has become a chore because I’m not dwelling in His presence and it’s only in His presence that there is fullness of joy. I am trying to be God, instead of resting in Him, surrendering all my thoughts, and days, and moments to Him. I was “taking the yoke”, but I forgot about the “learning” part. That morning Jesus told me~”Take my yoke upon you and LEARN of ME. If you do this Charisse, you will find rest for your soul.” When will I learn? Probably never, this side of heaven. But I sure am thankful for a God who doesn’t give up on me. His mercies are new every morning. The busy won’t ever stop. Life is filled with it. It will continue to pile up, but instead of being under that weight~ we can be on top of it, if we will just learn from God. What have I learned? Here are just a few takeaways~ *To wake up and rejoice before I get out of bed, thanking God immediately for the day ahead, and all He has blessed me with. *Pray about everything, all day long. If a thought comes into my head and I start trying to figure out my own solution, I’ve got to stop. I have to pray about it, because let’s be honest~ God’s solutions are so much better. When I do this continually it helps me to cease from “Charisse’s” works and focus on God. That’s when I find rest. *I meditate on God’s words throughout the day. When I think on God’s words, it pushes the busy right out of my brain. My thoughts are on God, and His peace tells me that He is in control and will take care of whatever has me stressed, anxious, heartbroken or fatigued. His words comfort me and He calms that storm inside my head. *Learn from Jesus. He continually got alone with God. The insurmountable love and burden for a sinful, fallen world was completely on His shoulders and yet, He took the time to rest and be still with His Father. Imagine if our repetitive thoughts~ the ones that take up 95% of our waking moments~ were transformed to think about God and His promises to us? He wants us to rest, but that doesn’t mean He wants us to stop. That voice that’s telling you to quit is from Satan. God’s voice tells us~ Be still. He is God. We are not. Life isn’t a chore. It’s a blessed, joy-filled opportunity to be about our Father’s business. Google might tell me otherwise. The world tells me “I” have to do it all. The devil tells me that “I” am not cut out for the ministry and convinces me that~”I just want to be me, plain old Charisse”~ but GOD… Who am I with God? I am crucified with Christ, YET NOT I, but Christ… In the multitude of my thoughts within me, His comfort delights my soul. SCRIPTURE READING: Philippians 4:4-9 Matthew 11:28-30 Jeremiah 6:16 Psalm 46:10 Hebrews 4:9-12 Psalm 16:7-9, 11 Lamentations 3:22-24 Galatians 6:9 Romans 12:1-2 Galatians 2:20 Psalm 94:19
9/22/2023
Sorrow And JoyA bit of sadness awaits me, just around the corner. It’s hovering there in the autumn winds, like a storm rolling in. I don’t think about it, I just feel it in my bones.
Autumn is one of my favorite times of the year. As a child, the fall months seemed to make me thrive. They brought me joy. There was such a freedom, running around in the crisp air as vibrant leaves showered the earth with color. I absolutely loved everything about fall. I still do, but 50+ years later, heartache upon heartache has changed the way fall feels for me. I can’t escape it. I can’t pretend it didn’t happen. I don’t even think about it, I just feel it. On two separate occasions, it was during the autumn months that heartbreaking betrayal left me in darkness. Darkness that lasted a long time. It was also a crisp November morning, one week before my birthday, that my mom passed away suddenly. It was in early October, just three years ago, that my dear friend went home to heaven. The very day after his funeral, my precious dad passed away unexpectedly as well. And this year, my sweet friend found out she doesn’t have long to live. As the cozy fall vibes splash across social media and I’m reaching for my blanket on chilly nights, all of these moments whisper on the winds. My mind goes there without me even thinking about it. I miss my loved ones. I miss the years that were taken as I tried to dig myself out of a dark pit. I miss a future with my friend. A few months after my dad passed away, I remember laughing for the first time. Truly laughing. And immediately after the laughter, sadness engulfed me. Because I remembered. I ask myself, can I have joy and sadness at the same time? Will I ever be free in the fall months to thrive like I did when I was a child? Will this heaviness that the sadness brings ever feel lighter? I am absolutely sure of one thing, the answer is yes. God wants me to have joy. Satan wants to rob me of that joy. I long to be oblivious like the rest of the social media world seems to be. I want to turn on football games, get out those cute fall boots and put on a cozy sweater. I want to drink pumpkin spice “everything”, and smile as I gaze upon the beautiful colors of God’s masterpiece falling from limbs in the sky. Like nothing bad ever happened. With God’s help, I still can. You can too ladies. When heartache grips us, often our humanity does too. We remember. We want things to be like they were when our hearts were free, before the sadness came. We want to hold on to the comfort that once was. Because of this, we are incapable of moving on past the heartache without the help of the Holy Spirit. But when we ask the Holy Spirit to fill us and to empower us, we can readily apply God’s word to our broken hearts. His words that tell us to forget those things which are behind. That the devil comes to steal and destroy, but that the joy of the Lord is our strength. To lay aside every weight that we carry on our shoulders and look ahead at Jesus. And that is exactly what I am doing. I know God understands our humanity. Paul reminded us with the words~”as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing”. Jesus Himself wept, even though He knew the joy that was coming. There will always be sorrow on this earth, because sin brings sorrow. We are born into that darkness, but God is our light. I know that He knows when our hearts are hurting and I believe that yes, we can have joy and sorrow at the same time. We can because as a believer, our sorrow isn’t without hope. We can because our joy isn’t found in the temporary, it’s found in the eternal and even though our weeping may last for a moment, our eternal joy will last a lifetime. Just like the wind takes hold of all the beautiful leaves and showers the earth with color, the wind seems to have taken the beauty of my “befores” that I once held so close. But my God walks on the wings of the wind!! And I know that if He had never taken some of that beauty from my life, He couldn’t use me to shower the earth with its vibrant colors. Colors of encouragement for others. Colors that hold Hope. I’m not going to lie and say I have been miraculously changed, and the sadness is gone. My humanity wants my life to stay beautiful. Not to change. Not to lose its vibrant colors and the comfort of my “befores”. I read a great quote this week that said~”Looking back doesn't enable us to go back, and more times than not, it just makes us stuck”*. It’s a daily (sometimes hourly) battle to hand that heaviness over to Jesus. But when I truly do this, when I pray and ask Him to take it~because I can’t seem to let it go, I find freedom. And in that freedom, I find joy. So today, join me as the tears fall, but our hearts smile. Take my hand~ Let’s walk with our great God on the wings of the wind. Scripture Reading: “Who walketh upon the wings of the wind:” Psalm 104:3 Psalm 30:5 John 14:27 John 15:9, 11 John 16:22, 24 1 John 1:4-5 Psalm 19:8 Psalm 94:17, 19 2 Corinthians 6:10 Romans 14:17 Philippians 3:13-14 John 10:10 Hebrews 12:1-2 Hebrews 4:15-16 Psalm 144:15 Psalm 16:11 1 Peter 1:8 Jude 1:24 Romans 15:13, 32 Ephesians 3:16-21 *Christine Caine
9/15/2023
Just Show UpI’ll never forget the evening I was cleaning the restrooms at our church. I was all alone. My dad had just passed away, and my heart was hurting deeply. I was crying pretty hard, when a couple from church happened to show up. It wasn’t planned. They didn’t know I was there. They came to clean too. I tried to gain my composure before they saw me. When they did, she smiled~until she realized I was crying. And then she hugged me. She didn’t speak, she just allowed me to cry. She knew, because she had been down this path herself…
My husband has pastored here in our little town since 1995, and even though our church is small, we have had a very large amount of heartache. One of the hardest things about ministering in the same place for so long is having to see our dear ones go through this heartache~ or having to say goodbye to them as they leave this earth. I honestly think the ladies that have graced the hallways of my little church are super heroes. So many of my sisters in Christ have literally been through horrific heartache and trauma, and yet they stand faithful in their walk with God. I have seen their children, young and old, taken from this world. I have seen spouses suffer and die. I have seen illness and disease invade their fragile bodies. I have seen precious memories lost to dementia. I have seen infertility and miscarriage. I have seen abuse and infidelity. I have seen marriages end. I have seen wayward children and financial loss. I have seen their pain over and over again. And I have seen their light shine. Their smile. Their praise. Their faithfulness. Their strength. And I am undone. I am in awe. Because I know it can only be of God. And then there is me. I am not strong. My heart feels it would crumble when faced with similar circumstances. I get scared, anxious and even depressed. I am an introvert. When heartache hits home, my personality wants to hide. I don’t want to be with people. I don’t want to talk about it, and I don’t want to pretend I’m okay in public. Too often, I fake it. It’s much easier for me to talk about heartache when I can hide behind a laptop screen. I can encourage, but also allow the tears to flow. But when I am in the middle of that pain, it’s much harder for me to be an encouragement and show up, let alone talk about it face to face. But my ladies have shown up. They have talked about it. And I have listened. The ladies of my church have forged through the deep and dark. They have left a clear path for me to walk through. They have stood on the other side smiling back at me, shining their light as a beacon of hope and encouragement. Some have left and gone home to heaven, but they were faithful until their last breath. Others are here with me still. Still fighting the battle. Still smiling. Still praising… I don’t think they know how much of an impact they have had on my life. They cheer me on and are living testimonies of God’s words without even realizing. God’s words that proclaim~ When I am weak I am strong~ The peace that passes understanding~ I will send you a comforter~ I will never leave you or forsake you~ All things work together for the good~ Let your light so shine~ Comforting others the same way God has comforted you~ Pressing toward the mark and standing on the Rock~ And having done all… to stand. And I know, that if they can do it, I can too. I can be strong through Christ. Their strength gives me strength. I can have the peace that passes understanding. I can be comforted and be a comforter. I can let my light shine, and stand when I think I am too weak and will surely fall. That’s why it’s so important to stay in God’s word, continually talking to Him and being reminded of His promises. And that is why it is so important to have precious godly friends. Friends that lean into the arms of Jesus, and then draw you in with them. Friends who pray for you and encourage you in your pain. Friends who have walked through it, and sit with you in it. And that’s why it’s so important to encourage others if you have already gone down that path. So that you can always remind them~ We can’t do this life without Jesus, but with Jesus~ nothing is impossible. And so, I look at my own heart. What kind of friend will I be? What kind of friend will you be? Will we lean into Jesus or hide our light in the loneliness of despair? Of this one thing I am sure~ someone out there needs your light. Someone needs your testimony. Someone needs to walk behind you and know in their desperation that, with God’s power they will make it. Someone needs to see you leaning into Jesus and someone needs you to pull them in with you. To encourage and cheer them on. To smile and reach out your hand from the other side. Someone needs you. We just have to show up. 2 Corinthians 12:9&10 Philippians 4:6&7 John 14:26 Deuteronomy 31:6 Hebrews 13:5&6 Romans 8:28 Matthew 5:16 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 Ephesians 6:13 James 5:16 Philippians 3:14 Matthew 7:24-25 1 Thessalonians 5:11-13 Ephesians 3:16-21 Philippians 1:3-6
9/8/2023
Pain Has A Purpose“Pain has a purpose.”
When I am in the middle of heartache, I don’t want to hear that. There have been seasons in my life where I could not see any purpose in the pain I was going through, because I allowed Satan to tell me otherwise. Times I thought that perhaps God was punishing me, or felt as if God was nowhere to be found. Thoughts based on feelings, and not God’s truth. As a pastor’s wife and child of God I always felt it was my “job” to encourage. My life should be a picture of joy and happiness, a light shining for the world to see. And so, for a very long time I kept my pain neatly tucked away, deep down where no one could see it except Jesus. But then God told me to start this Facebook page. Suddenly I am sharing my life with the world. An open book. And I am vulnerable. But I do it. And the more I share, the more I see the purpose. God never asked me to hide my pain. I believe He wants me to share it so that others going through similar heartache can know, they are not alone. I can honestly cheer you on and tell you~“You can do this!!” Because with God’s help, I have. It has caused me to pray and trust God more than ever before. When I am in the middle of a really hard season, this page has made me realize that my journey hasn’t just been about heartache. My life has had so much beauty, beauty that far outweighs the pain. Beauty that tips the scales. Satan doesn’t want me to realize that. He doesn’t want you to realize it either. Within the last two weeks, three major prayer requests of mine have been answered. I had been praying for one for over 6 years. I had been praying for one for over 6 months and I had been praying for one for over 6 weeks. The days and weeks leading up to these answers were absolutely brutal, but God answered in phenomenal ways. Like literally~ ”Fall to my knees, miracle working” ways. I felt like a child at Christmas. Tears were shed. Praises were said. I could not stop thinking about how awesome God is. Until yesterday. Only seven short days later. I don’t know if it was fatigue. I don’t know if it was hormones. I don’t know if it was just the fact that all those buried emotions came to the surface~ but I could not stop crying. I tried to read my bible. I tried to pray, but the tears continued to flow. Not good tears. Not happy tears. Sad, mixed up, ‘filled with lies’ tears. And I realized right then and there that this life is a continual battle. That our armor has to always be on, because Satan will always attack, especially when we are feeling weak. He knows just how to get to me. My weakness is my thought life. He plants the thought, and I am so naive that I just continue to water it. It gets bigger and bigger until I am convinced it is true and I can’t get past it. I think that I can’t pray because my heart isn’t right, and I find myself stuck in a mess of my own making. In a moment of weakness I have forgotten all of God’s goodness and believed all of satan’s lies. And I’ll be honest, after months of “hard”, I am tired. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to be in this battle. My brain is frazzled and I don’t want to think about anything. I don’t want to pray in these moments. I don’t want to get into God’s word. I want to sit on my couch, binge watch a show and eat ice cream. Heres the truth ladies~ WE HAVE TO FIGHT! Here’s another truth~ God wants us to have joy, satan doesn’t. Here’s another truth~ God’s words are power. Prayer is our life line. God has answered countless requests, He has come through for us time and time again. He has given us beauty from ashes. He has never left us. He has loved us more than life itself. The VERY life of His Son. That is true love… A week ago we took our 6 grandchildren up north for a little getaway. The days were filled with fun and laughter, lots of hugs, kisses and snuggles, but when bedtime came, so did the tears. Two separate nights, two of my grandchildren could not sleep because they were scared. They were scared because they were laying in bed allowing their thoughts to run rampant. I didn’t get mad. I held them close and allowed the tears to come, and then I asked them if the things that were making them scared were true. They knew they weren’t. I asked them if God wanted them to be sad. They knew He didn’t. I told them only the devil wants you to be scared and sad, not God. He wants us happy. And I told them to tell that devil to get lost, because God was with them. I encouraged them with something I used to tell my own children~to lay in bed and think about God’s goodness and all the wonderful, happy moments He has given us. Like Christmas morning. Like Jesus. It seemed too easy, but they were smiling and ended up falling right to sleep. Because that’s what child like faith looks like. And I wan’t to always have that kind of faith. I might not ever know the purpose behind some of the pain I have walked through, but I do know this. I never walked alone. It may have been an extremely lonely journey at times, but God never left my side. He didn’t get mad when I was scared and crying. Instead, He reminded me of His truths. Powerful truths to fight the lies. And when my focus turned to His truth, my heart could dwell on His goodness to me, and help me to remember all the beautiful ‘Christmas morning’ moments of my life. I want to encourage you today to keep fighting. To keep speaking God’s truths over satan’s lies. To remember how much God loves you and how He wants your life to be filled with joy. Don’t believe the lies ladies. Don’t fall into the same trap I did. Stop trying to figure out the purpose and just dwell in His presence. Once you do, you will see the path He has for you and realize that’s exactly where your fullness of joy is found. I desperately want you to know that there is beauty on the other side, and maybe one day the story of your pain will bring hope to others. You will cheer them on with the words~ ”You can do it!!” Because through God’s power~ You will know that you already have!! Psalm 16:11, 27:11-14, 34:19 Romans 8:18,24-39, 15:13 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, 4:16-18, 12:10 Philippians 1:6 Isaiah 61:1-3 1 Peter 4:13 James 1:12 2 Timothy 4:5 John 16:33
9/1/2023
Come Into His PresenceIn the last few months my prayer life has been utterly chaotic. I’m a list girl and a homebody. I like simple days where I check off my to do’s and feel a sense of organized accomplishment at the end of that day. I’m sure it’s a control issue, and not always very realistic.
Ideally, I like to start each day spending time with God. Getting my coffee. Sitting in bed, reading His words and praying. Something in me craves this early morning organization and quiet. When painful, busy, heartbreaking moments hit day after day and that control and quiet is suddenly taken from me ~ I begin to get desperate. I find myself crying and telling God I can’t do it. I’m too tired. I am depleted. I need rest. I need just a few moments alone with Him. And in my self pity, I neglect to see that God has orchestrated all of this chaos for my good. Even when it feels far from good. Several months back I decided to be more committed to prayer throughout my day. My phone has always been a distraction to me, and I wanted to put it to better use. I changed the pictures on my lock screen so that a different picture continually pops up. I chose beautiful beaches and sunsets as the back drop, and then added names or groups to each picture. All of my children and their spouses. My grandchildren. Our church family. our extended family, etc. Each time a different name popped up, I would pray for that person/persons. I was vigilant in the beginning, but as my days of ease and comfort crept by, I didn’t always pray for the person on my screen when I picked up that phone. Until life turned upside down. Week after week went by, and due to hard and sometimes heartbreaking circumstances beyond my control, organized time with God became almost obsolete. I found myself asking God why. I found myself losing hope. I found myself crying and wondering how this could be for my good when I couldn’t even spend time with Him. And then God showed me. Throughout the hard days and weeks and months, I had prayed to God more than I ever did before. It wasn’t neatly organized with my bible and coffee cup in hand, it was desperation. It was heavy. It was chaotic. It was continual. It was pleading. It was lamenting. It was crying. Every time I picked up that phone and read the names there, it was consciously begging God to help, and comfort, and work miracles. Did my miracles come? Were my prayers all answered? No. I am still begging and lamenting and crying out to Him, but now I am also praising. Because the more I cried out to Him, the more I felt His presence. He took me and wrapped His arms around me and held me. He has walked with me through the chaos. I have never been alone. He let me cry. He let me lament. He allowed me to ask all the “why’s” and in His sweet, tender mercy and grace~ He loved me and drew me in even closer. And as my minutes of chaos pass each day, I feel His peace with me like I never have before. Maybe you’re going through a time like this yourself. Maybe you’re wondering where God is in all of this. He has never been closer. He’s always been right there with you. He’s walking behind you to catch you when you fall, he’s walking with you so that you can lean on Him when you’re weary and He’s walking ahead of you, continually making sure your path is an easier road to travel. Amid the chaos and pain, we may not even realize it, but minute by minute He’s taking our burdens on Himself. Life would be so much harder without Him. Sometimes we just can’t see that. Today I want you to take His hand as He leads you through your chaos. Lean on Him and tell Him all about it. All throughout your day continue to talk to Him~ wherever you are, whatever you are doing. You will feel your burden become lighter, even when the chaotic circumstances around you have not changed. And you will know. It’s all because of Him. Jesus never told us to come with our prayer journal neatly situated on our lap, coffee cup in hand and worship music playing softly in the background. There are no special requirements needed for coming into His presence, except to just come. Wherever we are. Whatever we are doing. Just come. His presence will overwhelm your tired soul with hope, and give you unimaginable peace again. Psalm 139, 145:18-19 Matthew 11:28 1 Peter 1:3-9
8/25/2023
Off To College, A Note To MomsEvery new step into our children’s future brings them excitement. Maybe a little trepidation, but excited trepidation (if there is such a thing).
And every new step into our children’s future brings us mamas a little bit of pain. We see their excitement and we are so happy for them, but our hearts break just a little bit with each step they take. When they’re an infant, we think we want them to take those first steps but the minute they do, we’re missing our little baby. Because once they take that first step, they don’t stop. Life goes on, faster and faster. You feel as if they are running and your heart is whispering, slow down. Please slow down. From elementary to junior high to high school to drivers permits and licenses to college applications and packing up their things. And then to driving off. They can hardly sit still. You see the future in their eyes, but you also see your past. Your baby. You smile with them, but you feel it deeply. They are leaving. And as you watch them drive away your heart is screaming. Slow down. Mamas everywhere are saying goodbye to their babies right about now. After a year of non stop craziness, they are suddenly left with a quick hug outside a packed car or dormitory far from home. And for a brief moment, you see it in their eyes. 18 years of emotions flooding to the surface. Because in that moment they realize who you really are and who you have always been and a part of them doesn’t want to let go either. A tear may sneak out and a whisper of “love you’s” might follow~ but then, it’s over. They turn and they’re gone. I remember all of it. All the tears and all the emotions and all the excitement and all the pride. Like it was yesterday. I remember thinking they were gone for good. This was it. But it wasn’t. And it isn’t for you either mama Because they will ALWAYS remember who you really are and who you have always been and you will always be “home” to them. You will always be love. You will always be comfort. You will always be a needed hug and a shoulder to cry on and a recipe to share and the doctor when they don’t want to call the doctor. You will always, always be mom and they won’t ever forget. Because they will always be your baby.
8/18/2023
Don’t StopI am scared.
And I can’t process it. Countless times in my past I always knew God was in control, despite the pain I might have been going through at the time. Trusting God hasn’t been an issue for me. My faith has always felt so strong. But somehow, this time is different. Awaiting an answer to prayer. And if it is the answer I don’t want to hear, I’m afraid I won’t trust God when I hear the outcome. Because I won’t understand why. And it’s breaking my heart. I want to trust. I want to have faith, but just thinking about one resulting answer as opposed to another, and the pain it could bring, brings me to my knees. My faith has never been challenged so deeply. My stomach feels sick and my heart races. How can the days of waiting seem like an eternity, yet too fast all at the same time? Waiting and praying and begging God. And the fear. I thought I had so much faith, but this has done me in. I am truly scared. Because what if God’s will is not what I had so desperately hoped for? Will I still love Him? Will I trust Him? Will I be able to glorify Him still, or see that somehow it’s for my child’s good? It doesn’t feel good. Even as I write these words, through tears my heart is saying I won’t. And that terrifies me. In all my 57 years, I have never been at a crossroads like this. I have written countless posts on faith and trust, on God being in control and the peace that passes understanding, but this time. This time I feel completely at a loss. My faith is smaller than a mustard seed, like a dust particle floating past me. I keep trying to grasp at it, but it disappears. No words seem to comfort me in this moment. No scripture seems to bring peace. And even though I don’t know the outcome, I find myself asking God why. Because, as desperately as I am trying to hold on to it, my hope has slowly been fading away. Just like my faith. A tiny particle that I can’t seem to grasp. So, why write a post like this? Because I want you to know that just like the Psalmist David, sometimes all we can do is cry out to God. Pour our hearts out to Him and leave it all there. We might not know how to go on from here. We might feel hopeless and alone, even desperate… In this moment, that is how I feel. Maybe you feel this way too. All I can do is to keep crying out to Him. I won’t stop. I might not understand any of this, and maybe all my heart can do is cry, but I will cry to Him. I might feel like He isn’t listening. That He doesn’t love me. That He doesn’t care, but I won’t stop calling out His name. I won’t stop. I will remember His promises. I will remember the thousands of times He has come through for me. When I reach the other side of that outcome, whatever it might be~ I won’t stop. Because if I did, I let Satan win. And if it isn’t the answer I longed for and I cannot trust my emotions, in my weak and feeble state I will trust His word. I will repeat it over and over and over to my broken heart. I will speak its truth into my unbelief. And as the sunshine streams across my tear stained face, I will open my eyes and see. Thousands of dust particles floating in its brilliance. And I will fight to remember. Jesus, my Hope~ He has always been faithful. I don’t have to grasp at those particles. They surround me because The Son’s presence surrounds me. I will whisper His name continually through the tears. I won’t stop. And that tiny dust particle is enough. Don’t stop. Whatever you are going though. Don’t stop. Your tiny dust particle is enough. Psalms of lament~ 6, 13, 22, 25, 28, 31, 38, 40, 42, 46, 55, 56, 69, 71, 77, 86, 88, 102, 130, 139, 142, 143 2 Corinthians 1:3&4 Psalms 31:16, 37:5&6, 67:1, 80:3&19, 116
8/11/2023
Don’t Tell Me How To GrieveI started crying in Walmart the other day. Something I did not expect.
It was just a quick trip in for a few things. I was almost finished when I looked up, and for a split second I felt a thousand emotions flooding my heart. I saw an older man approaching. His hair. His shirt. His shorts. Even his shoes. In that split second I thought it was my dad. I couldn’t look away. I wanted it to be my dad. I even walked closer. Almost hoping. My brain knew my dad was gone, but my heart wanted it to be him so badly that it fooled my brain into thinking it could be. In one split second. And then the emotions flooded me with the reality that it wasn’t and the tears came. I quickly turned down an aisle to hide my hurt~ but even now, several hours later I can feel its tug, and the tears keep returning. It was so real to me. My dad has been gone for almost three years and yet, out of the blue the grief will hit. A place. A smell. A song. A memory. I’m transported to childhood memories. The waves of it all will crash over me and my heart yearns to step back in time and relive the beautiful moments I had with him. That’s what grief feels like when you love deeply, but even more important~ that’s what it feels like to BE loved deeply. Grief is a road with many turns. It has been unexpectedly hard for me. I thought I was mentally prepared, I had already lost my mom and experienced that heartache. But dad’s home going hit me differently. Nostalgia visits often. Unexpected tears are frequent and frustration over the comments people make has been politely hidden away. Comments like “You should be thankful for the time you had, and the memories you made”. When grieving moments hit me, I couldn’t find the thankfulness in the reminders. Until yesterday. Somehow, at some point my grief had been wrapped up inside the arms of Jesus and transformed into genuine, beautiful thankfulness. That’s what Jesus does. I realized as I stood on my dad’s porch that my heart felt a true joy and happiness, and I was so incredibly thankful. And now when I think back to my moment in Walmart, I know why. I was thankful because I was loved so deeply. What a beautiful gift God gave me. That hurt that runs so deep, that longing to see my dad again, the tears and the memories the smells and the places, all of these are a byproduct of being loved deeply. Does this realization make the pain go away? No, but it somehow makes it easier. And it makes me thankful. A year ago I don’t think I could have said the same. I didn’t want to be thankful for “what was”. I just wanted my dad back. I won’t tell you how to grieve. No one should. It’s a journey all your own. But I will tell you this. Grieve with God. Despite what others thought of my grieving process, despite being told how I should feel, despite feeling alone and misunderstood, God knew. God understood. He never left my side. He allowed me to grieve in my own way as I leaned fully into Him and asked over and over if He would wrap his arms of peace and comfort around my tired, hurting heart. As crazy as I must sound, I wanted to run toward that man in Walmart. It is unreal what the pain of grief can do to us. And that made me think of heaven. Entering glory. Knowing the love I have for those who have gone on before me, but more importantly~ knowing how much I was loved BY them. And there is no greater love than the love of Jesus. Not only will I get to run and hug my mom and dad. I get to hug Jesus. With joy, He endured the pain of the cross because He loves me so much. Because He loves you so much. And because He endured that pain, our pain is only temporary. We will one day be united with our loved ones again. All those who have put their faith and trust in Him. The Bible tells me that one day, because of God’s love and redemption, when I take my last breath I will immediately be in the presence of Jesus. In one split second. What a difference a second came make. Today, I can smile through the tears. I can laugh with joy. God entered into my grief with me, and as much as I miss my dad, the gift of being loved is one of the greatest gifts God has blessed us with. I will hold on to that gift and cherish it, and my heart will be filled with thankful praise. Let’s think outside the box today. What is your enemy/enemies?
Notice I did not ask “who” your enemy was. Quite often we find ourselves in circumstances beyond our control. Those circumstances cause our hearts to be heavy and our thoughts to spiral, so we look for things to blame for those circumstances. A person that hurt us. A health problem. A financial scare. Watching those we love suffer. Such has been my case for the last few months. My adult children have been suffering, and I’ll be honest~it’s been way too hard. Anxiety and sleeplessness have prevailed. Countless tears have been shed. It’s been discouraging and frightening. It’s been physically and emotionally draining. It’s been me trying to blame the circumstances and problems for all the emotions I just listed. The reality is, the problem has been in my head. The multitude of thoughts within me have been on the problems instead of God’s promises. I realized that this morning. My reading was Psalm 1-8. Very familiar passages. Because I have read these chapters so many times, I actually had the fleeting thought that they would not bring me the comfort I was desperately needing today. But just like God always does, my eyes were opened once again. Let me break it down for you. Psalm 1:2~’His delight is in God’s word and he meditates on it day and night.’ I immediately realized I have been meditating on the darkness my kids have been walking through, and trying to somehow find a way to fix problems or bring them comfort, instead of meditating on God’s words and leaning on them. Psalm 3:1&2~’There are so many that trouble me, rise up against me and convince me that God will not help.’ So often when we read the Psalms, particularly verses like these, we think of physical people. Here is where I want you to think outside the box. What if you added~ Many “thoughts” trouble me. Many “thoughts” rise up against me. Many “thoughts” convince me that God cannot help. Because~ isn’t that the truth? God tells us over and over again that He loves us. He will help us. His plan is for our good. He will never leave us. But we let the enemy, our thoughts, convince us otherwise. *Our enemy called discouragement. *Our enemy called fear. *Our enemy called sadness. *Our enemy called unbelief. *Our enemy called hard. *Our enemy called anger or loneliness. *Our enemy called tired, depleted and empty. *Our enemy that tells us we can’t do this. We can’t go on. That it’s hopeless. Psalm 3:3~’But’. I’m so thankful for that little word, because it brings hope. ‘But God. God is our shield, our glory and the lifter up of our head.’ This verse really struck me. My daughter just had a baby girl 2 weeks ago. As my husband was holding her, she kept trying to hold her head up to look at him. We were amazed at the strength she had for only being 2 weeks old, but eventually her tiny self could not keep up. She let out the sweetest little cry and then she just laid down against my husband and in all that coziness, she fell fast asleep. You know where I’m going with this. When my feelings tell me that things will never look up, God literally just told me ‘He is the lifter up of my head’, not me. He is my strength when my tiny self has no strength. And then… Psalm 3:4&5~’I cried to God and He sustained me and I slept in peace.’ It isn’t until I realize all the things above that sleep and peace will come. It isn’t until I cry out to God and realize that it is He who holds me and sustains me and that I cannot do it myself, that I can lay down against Him and in all that coziness, rest in His peace. Psalm 3:6&8~ And that’s when I realize that ‘I don’t have to be afraid of ten thousand thoughts’ that enter this mama’s mind and fight against me. Because God is my strength and salvation. He is my children’s strength and salvation. His blessings are upon us. There is so much more here~ Psalm 4:1~God gives us relief when we are in distress. Psalm 4:3~The Lord has set us apart and will hear when we call. Psalm 4:4&5~I can be still when I put my trust in God, even when the thoughts creep in and say, ‘Will things ever be good again? Who will help me?’ Psalm 4:6~I know God will. His light will break through all the darkness and shine on me and my children. Psalm 4:7&8, 5:11&12~And God will put gladness and joy in my heart again. Sleeplessness will be replaced with joy. Psalm 5:3~And in the morning, I will look up at God, but things will be different because I won’t be trying to do it in my own strength anymore. He will be holding me.
7/28/2023
Don’t BlinkI looked down the mudroom stairway. Wet swim suits, beach towels, tennis shoes, a few rocks and an insect net~ all sprawled out across the floor.
And I smiled to myself. My younger self would have looked at the mess and thought~more work for me. It’s never ending. My younger self would have thought it was an inconvenience. My younger self would have missed what was right in front of my eyes… I am babysitting my grandsons this week and I couldn’t help but think back to a post I wrote 10 years ago, when I was babysitting my daughter’s firstborn. Now she has four. Four boys. I remember telling her how much she should cherish this time and I entitled the article~ “Before You Blink”. It seems like it was yesterday when I wrote that. It seems like it was just yesterday and I was here babysitting and looking down these very steps at wet mittens and scarves, hats, boots and coats. I blinked and winter turned to spring and spring turned to summer. Where did the months go? Where did the years go? I think about my own mudroom and the revolving seasons that passed all too quickly. Comings and goings. And now, gone. Little voices asking for help with their mittens and zippers. Little smiles with ice cream drippings and watermelon juice. Little requests for one more push on the swings. Swim suits and beach towels. Cleats and tennis shoes. Learners permits, sport paraphernalia, endless trips to the washing machine~ and beautiful memories. And now, I get to do it all over again with my grandchildren. And what a gift that is. And today as I looked down at our newest, little Ivy who is only one week old, I remember my words to my daughter. Cherish these moments, because you will blink and they will be gone. I knew all too well how much truth was in that statement and yet, I blinked and ten years flew by. I blinked and my babies had babies. Her wide little eyes looked up at me and it was almost as if I could see how quickly these days will pass. “Don’t grow too fast precious, little one” I whispered. Sometimes we get so bogged down with our todays that we don’t think about our tomorrows and how much we will miss. We miss the blessings right in front of us as time plays on a loop, and days and seasons run into each other. Hit the pause button. Mama, there is absolutely nothing that is more important than these moments. Right now. Raising your children. Get on the floor with them. Laugh with them. Play with them. Dance with them. Sing with them. Listen to them. Be with them. Look at the wet swim suits and beach towels, the winter coats and hats and understand~please understand~ that those are not inconveniences. They are tremendous gifts from God.
7/21/2023
What Does Jesus Say About You?My daughter just gave birth to a precious baby girl early Wednesday morning. Ivy Flora is her first.
Every mom has a different birth story. It’s crazy and beautuful and unique. I have a different birth story for each one of my four children. By my last, I had no idea what to expect. But I knew the end result. Pure joy. Laughter. Tears. Crazy love. Only moments after she was born, my husband got to hold little Ivy for the first time. Kathryn and Josh unashamedly shed the tears, and with complete and utter joy Kathryn said “I just love her so much. I want to take her everywhere and show her to everyone”. And boy did that make me think about Jesus. Because that’s exactly how He feels about us. Each of us may have a different rebirth story. That moment we were born again. John 3:3. That moment we understood the gift God gave us in His Son and His redemption on the cross. Romans 3:23. When we realized our sinfulness and asked for forgiveness. When God became our Father. John 1:12 It may have been a long process. It may have been painful. There may have been heartache and tears. Conviction can do that. Or, it might have been an easy, immediate understanding of such a gift. Everyone of us has a different story to tell, but ultimately the ending is the same. Pure joy. Laughter. Tears. Crazy love. Because at that moment we accept Jesus as our Savior we understand it wasn’t anything that we did. Ephesians 2:8&9 What does a baby have to do to be born? Not a thing. All that baby has to do is accept the free gift of life the moment they leave mama’s womb. Mama does all the work, and with a crazy love, she does it with joy. Because the moment that child is born changes everything. Jesus did all the work. And He did it with joy. Because of His crazy love for us. Hebrews 12:2 And that moment we are born into His family… that moment changes everything. That deep love we have for our children is because they are a part of us. Ivy didn’t do a thing to merit that unconditional love of her mama. Her mama loves her because she is her child. My eyes overflow with tears as I look at my baby and her baby. They are a part of me. My heart yearns to love and protect. And yet, as great as my love is for my children and grandchildren, the Bible tells us that there is no greater love than the love of Jesus. John 15:13, Jeremiah 31:3 When Jesus looks at us, He truly says~ I love her so much!! I want to take her everywhere and show her to everyone”, and do you know why? Not because of anything we have done. We didn’t do a thing to merit that unconditional love. God loves us simply because we are His. You are His little light, His precious child shining the love of Jesus from the inside out. You manifest His glory because He is always with you. Matthew 28:20, Hebrews 13:5 What does Jesus say about you? You’re created In His image. Genesis 1:27 You are wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14 God intricately formed you in your mother's womb. He knows you better than you know yourself. Psalm 139 He takes joy in you. Zephaniah 3:17 He knows the number of hairs on your head. Matthew 10:30 You are the light of the world. Matthew 5:14 God has chosen you. Revelation 17:14 You are His child. Always and forever. And He loves you so much, He wants to take you everywhere and show you to everyone. Pure joy. Laughter. Tears. Crazy love. “I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.” John 17:23 “I have loved thee with an everlasting love…” Jeremiah 31:3
7/14/2023
Don’’t Let Satan Talk To YouI’m not a morning person. Not at all. I literally wake up on the wrong side of the bed Every. Single. Morning. I think my blood type is “tired”. My body literally screams at me~ “Just let me sleep!!”.
This morning, after not seeing my husband for two weeks (and being ecstatic at his return home the night before), I pour my coffee and he makes a comment. Nothing negative, just a simple comment about the day. I am silent, but in my mind I have a quick, smart mouth response. It’s not pretty. Inwardly grumbling, I turn and walk silently back upstairs. Coffee in hand. In my mind I’m thinking~ “He knows I’m not a morning person. I’m tired. I don’t want to talk to anyone, except maybe Jesus.” And then my heart is pricked. I am a terrible person. After that silent comment, my thoughts tell me~surely Jesus doesn’t want to talk to me. My thoughts have gotten me into more trouble than I would ever care to admit. This reminded me of the other night. As I lay in bed in the darkness, a thought entered my mind. I knew it was wrong, but I ran with it. I knew it wasn’t truth, but I didn’t fight it. I didn’t pray, I just let it take control. It put me in a bad place and I felt utterly defeated. I could picture satan laughing and chiding me~”Gotcha”. The beauty is, no where in the Bible does it say that Satan knows our thoughts. He can certainly place them in our path, but we are the ones who can choose to grab a hold of those thoughts, or fight them off. He doesn’t know whether or not he has won that battle unless consequential action is taken. Even then he cannot read our minds. But God can. This can bring shame, but praise God it can also bring SO MUCH HOPE. There’s so many lessons here. For the Christian who judges others actions, but whose thoughts are far worse. God is so clear in His word on this matter. Pride and arrogance on the outside, but dirt on the inside. God sees the dirt my friend. And He sees all my dirt. All the negative thoughts I have, but don’t say out loud. I’m so thankful they stay inside my head and don’t come spewing out my mouth. I’m supposed to be the “good girl”. Sweet Charisse. Pastor’s wife. I would NEVER speak some of the things I think out loud. And sadly I would never tell a soul some of the places my thoughts have taken me. Here is where the Hope comes in. Satan can plant that thought and his lies in our path. In our human frailty we can either choose to cling to that disruptive thought and let it take over, or we can continually remind ourselves that God is with us ALWAYS. Right in that moment we have the power of God, His Son and Holy Spirit to fight for us and take that thought captive. That my friend is incredible hope. We are NEVER alone in our fight against the evil one. NEVER. The moment you become a Christian, Christ lives inside you. Satan might try to get inside your head, but he doesn’t live there. Jesus does. And here is another bit of beautiful hope. We are human. We mess up constantly. Satan may know our weaknesses but praise God, so does Jesus. Our God knows what we’re going to do. He knows the times we’re going to fail and not call out to him for help. He knows when we’re going to give in and our thought life is not going to be pleasing to Him, and yet even with this omniscient knowledge comes His amazing grace. Mercy and help in time of need. Love. Incredible love. He never turns His back. The times my thoughts are judging. The times my thoughts are sinful. The times my thoughts are filled with worry or fear. The times my thoughts are angry, sad, mean, prideful, wicked, doubting, covetous, self destructive, self reliant. He doesn’t turn His back. And when my heart weeps for the path my thoughts have taken and I allow myself to believe the lie that Jesus doesn’t want to talk to me~when I know He is always there to rescue me and I still push Him aside. He still loves. And He tells me His mercy is new EVERY morning and GREAT is His faithfulness. Satan might come knocking but we don’t have to let Him in. Let us continually remind ourselves that God owns this house we live in and when we reach for that door knob, stop and turn to Jesus. Look at Him and be reminded of that mercy and faithfulness, then walk away from the door. Tomorrow morning when my feet hit the floor, despite what my body might be screaming, I’m going to talk to Jesus instead of allowing Satan to talk to me. SCRIPTURE READING: 2 Corinthians 10:5, 12:9, 13:4 Proverbs 6:16-23 Matthew 23:23-27, 28:20 1 Corinthians 6:19&20, 10:12&13 Matthew 5 Romans 5:8, 7:15-25, 8:28, 15:13 Galatians 2:20 Hebrews 4:16 2 Timothy 1:7 Psalm 42:11, 55:22, 62:11, 103:14, 121:7&8, 136:12, 139:1-18 Philippians 4:6-7&13 1 Peter 5:7 Isaiah 41:10-13 Deuteronomy 31:7&8 Proverbs 15:3 James 4:7 Lamentations 3:22&23 Ephesians 1:19-21, 3:20, 6:10 I Chronicles 29:11 Colossians 1:16 Romans 8:37-39
7/7/2023
I Was Just A KidWhen I was younger, I was teased a lot. Mostly by boys, and not in a good way. Quite often the remarks went along the lines of my appearance. My boyish hair cut and body shape only added fuel to the fire. And even though I was just a kid, I can remember those remarks like it was yesterday, and they still sting…
There are many mistakes I made as a mom. I think most moms end up feeling this way at some point. Even today I worry that I disappoint my adult children, and they see a different mom than the one I hope to be. But one of my greatest regrets is not taking lessons from my own life, and praying specifically for those areas in the lives of my children. Years after the fact, I found out that my own kids went through teasing and heartache when they were younger. Heartache that they never told me about. That knowledge brings the tears. My heart hurts deeply for the little souls they once were. I thought we talked about everything. But then I realized, I never told my own mom about the comments that were made about me when I was younger. I kept them to myself and cried silently in bed at night. I prayed about so many things for my children, but there were so many other things I could have been praying about. My heart is burdened today to encourage mamas with children of all ages to get down on your knees and go to the throne of God for your kids. They are fighting battles from day 1 that we may never know about. I’m so thankful that as I have gotten older I’ve realized this, and as I look back at the struggles I had and the battles I fought, I can now pray specifically for my children in those areas. But their childhood is past. I can’t go back and change it. And even though they were just kids, the memories of all the bad still hold on. Satan has a way of doing that to us. And it discourages and defeats and depresses. So today, I am even more determined to bathe my kids in prayer. I can’t change the past but Jesus can change their future. He can change their outlook. He can give them victory. I don’t think parents can ever pray too much for their children, it is so incredibly important. Prayer is like breathing life into them. But I also remember those early stages of motherhood. When they’re little, sometimes it’s hard to see past the “now” into the future. We pray for things that are relevant. We pray for their salvation or their hearts to remain pure, we pray for their attitudes or their obedience. We pray for their personalities and characteristics, but too often we forget to pray for their minds. Their thought life. We forget to pray for their battles. Perhaps because we only see them as kids, and what might feel like a battle to them seems small and insignificant to us. Because we forget the battles we fought. The battles in our mind that still remain. Don’t forget mom. What is going on in their life right now will remain with them forever. Your prayers can change their futures. Prayers for protection against things that are said and done. Prayers that our own words and actions will uplift and encourage them. Prayers that they will always know how much they are loved by us, but more importantly by God. Prayers that their futures won’t be determined by the wrongful actions of others. Prayers that they will always come to you and share their hearts. Prayers that they will know, they can always go to you and ask for prayer. Because they know you’re a praying mom. Pray specifically mama. Talk to them about the battles you fought as a child. Ask your children questions. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to pray for your them. Don’t spend more time worrying about their circumstances than you spend on your knees talking to God on their behalf. Don’t look back and regret the fact that you missed the battles they were fighting, because they were literally fighting for their future. Cover that future in prayer. So many negative thoughts can be traced back to a childhood memory. Don’t allow Satan to have that victory over your kids. It’s built into a mama’s DNA to protect her children, but too often in the early years we focus so much on their physical well being and protection that we neglect to pray for the thoughts their futures will hold. You fight on your knees for them from the moment you find out you are going to be a mama. Day 1. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. They’re only kids, but they are your kids. Make sure they know they have a praying mama. There is no greater gift you can give your child. SCRIPTURE READING: Philippians 4:6,8 Deuteronomy 31:6 Matthew 22:37 I Peter 5:7&8 Romans 8:31-35,37-39, 12:2 Psalm 34:17-20, 71:18, 78:4,6&7, 94:19, 127:1-3, 147:3 2 Corinthians 10:5 Hebrews 4:12 Isaiah 26:3, 41:10, 54:13&17 Proverbs 3:5-6, 4:23 Ephesians 6:17
6/30/2023
When Life Isn’t A Joy RideI honestly don’t know how long I had been driving before I noticed the red and blue lights flashing in my rear view mirror. We live in a rural area. Long stretches of road with nothing but fields and beautiful views for miles. It’s wonderful, and doesn’t give much occasion to glance back at any oncoming traffic. Traffic is pretty nonexistent. I was singing along to some worship music with several kids in tow. Probably why I didn’t hear the siren. My children and their cousins were the reason I finally noticed. Fighting had ensued, followed by yelling (from me) “to knock it off or I’ll pull over!” It wasn’t until that moment that I finally looked in my mirror to see if they were obeying. Instead, I spotted flashing lights beckoning me to stop. So I pulled over. It wasn’t pretty. Apparently I had been speeding. 🤷🏼♀️ I was flustered, and when prompted to surrender proof of insurance, said proof could not be found. The officer returned to his vehicle, and of course that’s when I found it. When he came back I smiled cheerfully and said “I found it!” to which he replied. “Too late. I’m writing you a ticket.” My cheerfulness went right out the window. I’m sure the kids heard about it the rest of the way home. Isn’t that how life can be at times? We think we’re doing all the right things. We go to church and Bible studies. We read devotionals and blogs. We listen to podcasts and sing along to worship music. We coast through life enjoying the view, and then suddenly we are hit with an inconvenient attack from the devil. And we lose it. What we don’t realize is that~ all along Satan has been right on our tail but we were being too “spiritual” to notice. Too often all the good things take the place of the best things and when that inconvenience strikes, we can’t fight it. Suddenly we’re searching for truth, but we’re already in trouble. The Christian life isn’t just a joy ride. It’s a battle. We live in a day where knowledge and opinions are at our fingertips. So many people are telling us how we should live, that we don’t even search for that truth ourselves. We let others do that work, and in the process we miss out on all the wonders God has specifically for us. Wonders that only come from time spent with Him. Reading His words. Asking the Holy Spirit to show us what we need. Listening to the voice of God speak to our hearts. We want easy. We want quick. We want to glide through life and not have to dig for the answers. For the proof. Eventually Satan catches up to us. God’s word tells us that he goes about seeking who he can devour. How can we be prepared? By keeping God’s armor on at all times. The armor of God is so much more than a great Sunday School lesson or Vacation Bible School theme. It’s something you can study and glean countless knowledge from. I’m going to share a quick overview, but I HIGHLY recommend you get into God’s word yourself and look up scripture references that correlate with every piece of God’s armor. Armor God has specifically made for you! 1. The Belt of Truth- you cannot know what is truth if you aren’t in God’s word. Don’t let someone else tell you what is truth, read it for yourself. Jesus tells us HE is the way and the truth. God tells us to think on whatsoever things are true. Our hearts can so easily be deceived (even by ourselves) when we don’t know God’s truth. 2. The Breastplate of Righteousness- Righteousness only comes from Jesus. All our righteousness is like filthy rags. Nothing else can take the place of Jesus and the protection that He gives your heart and soul. 3. Shoes Fit for the Gospel of Peace- There is so much to learn from God’s word on the gospel of peace. God’s peace passes ALL understanding. When we are attacked, is this the reaction the world sees from us? 4. The Shield of Faith- Our faith will always be tested (proved) and it will not remain strong if we are continually relying on others for knowledge from God’s word. Faith strengthens when time is spent with the God of all strength. 5. The Helmet of Salvation- This is of utmost importance. Without the gift of salvation received by faith, the battle cannot be won. God’s gift of His Son’s death on the cross rescues us from eternal damnation. It renews and transforms our minds against anything the devil tries to deceive us with. Once received, salvation can never be taken away. It is our protection for eternity. 6. The Sword of the Spirit-God’s word is so powerful. It’s inspired. It speaks to our soul and spirit. It shows us doctrine, reproof, correction and instruction. I didn’t think it was fair when I received a ticket for not providing proof of insurance “fast enough”, because I still provided the proof. I’m not trying to compare that police officer to Satan but… 😂 Here’s the thing~Satan doesn’t play fair. Don’t coast through life on a joy ride with Satan on your tail, because he will catch up. Have your proof always ready and when he does show up, just speaking the name of Jesus will be your truth, because you know you’re ready for that battle. You’re strong in the Lord and the power of HIS might. His armor is all you need. Praise God for the gift He gives us in others, in the beautiful feet of those who share the gospel of peace. We all need specific men and women that God places in our lives, but their words should never take the place of HIS WORDS. Instead of allowing someone else (this blog included) to tell you how God is speaking to you, spend time in the presence of God Himself. That is a sweet, precious intimacy between you and your Savior. Nothing else can take its place. SCRIPTURE READING: John 8:32, 10:28-30, 14:16&27, 16:13&33, 17:17 Philippians 4:6-8 Isaiah 64:6 Romans 3:22&23, 10:15&17, 12:2&3, 15:13 Titus 3:5-7 James 3:17&18 Ephesians 2:8&9, 3:16&17, 4:3, 6:10-18 Psalm 119:165 Proverbs 3:5&6 Mark 9:23 I Peter 1:8&9, 5:8-10 2 Peter 1:19-21 I John 5:4 I Corinthians 16:13 Hebrews 4:12, 12:2 I Timothy 6:12 2 Timothy 2:15, 3:16&17 Isaiah 52:7, 54:17 Hebrews 2:1-3
6/23/2023
Are You Under AttackSatan knows when the best time is to attack. Each of us have our triggers. Maybe it’s loneliness, or something deep within that no one else knows about. For some, it might be the work place, for others it might be family. For me, it’s the dark of night.
Sharing this is something that I wrestled with. I haven’t wanted to. Maybe one day I will tell the whole story, but for today I will just share a part… During the day time hours it’s easy for me to feel like “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. It might not always be easy to fight battles, but my heart and my mind know what the truth is. I can think logically. I can get in God’s word. I can pray, quote scripture and listen to worship music. But in the middle of the night, when my brain is in a fog and I’m half asleep~that’s when satan strikes. Often. I get up 2-3 times a night. Old age and 4 kids. Always, I stumble into the bathroom. The entire world is dark and quiet, and even though I am half asleep~ thoughts immediately spring up into my head out of nowhere. My defenses are down and I am not prepared for the battle. And it’s a big one. A battle of doubt that wages against everything I’ve ever believed. And it’s scary. And it’s very hard to admit. Today I want to mention some things that have helped me through this. Maybe you don’t have the same issues that I do, but maybe you’re fighting different battles and you feel helpless and alone. Maybe scared. I pray these things can help and encourage you to fight with your everything, and to remember that God is always, always for you. There are no weapons that are stronger than He is, because our weapons aren’t carnal. They’re spiritual and they will pull down the strongholds that battle against us. He will always fight for us. For me, the time of the attacks is what makes them hard. 2-3 times, night after night. Let’s be real here, in my sleepy state I am not going to do a Bible study on the toilet in the dark. I’m not going to blast worship music and wake up my husband. Quite often I just want to go back to sleep, and I’m not thinking logically. So, what’s a person to do in that situation? Be prepared ahead of time. Here are some things that can help you with your battle, especially when the attack hits you out of nowhere. 1. Remember. It doesn’t matter what the situation is or where you are, you can remember the goodness of God on your life. In the past, in the present and in the future. If Jesus is your Savior, you will one day be in glory with Him. That alone can help sustain us. So when that attack happens, and it will happen, start thanking and praising Jesus for EVERYTHING. Every single thing that comes into your heart and mind. Remember our God of the Bible. He is your God too. Remember His faithfulness. Recall it. Say it out loud. Remember. 2. Read. Stay in God’s word and hide it in your heart. When an attack happens, you don’t have the luxury to say to Satan- “Can you hold on a minute while I get out my Bible and look up some verses?” Know God’s truths. Memorize them and use them to fight against the lies. An amazing chapter to meditate on is Psalm 119. I listen to it on my bible app every single day as I’m putting on my makeup and preparing for the day. Over and over let His words saturate your heart and soul. 3. Refrain. Stay away from things that can mess with your head, ie television shows, music and social media. For me, the things that my eyes (and heart) take in right before going to bed at night can have a huge impact on how my night goes. We don’t realize how much these things can affect us negatively. Every single day we soak it all in~ sadly, even more than we soak in God’s words to us. This is a huge deterrent to our spiritual warfare. The Holy Spirit will show you the things you need to steer clear of, you just need to listen. 4. Rely and Pray. In my situation there were times this was a tough one, because doubt was my battle field. In those moments all I could do was say the name of Jesus. And that is enough. There is power in His name. Did the doubts magically go away at 2am? No. 4am rolls around and BAM!, I’m hit again. But I will keep saying His name over and over. Why? Because of my first two points. He has always been faithful to me and I know He’s not going to stop now. His word is His promise. God helped me in ways I could never imagine. My heart was saying “Lord I believe, help my unbelief.” And He did just that. In amazing ways that bring tears to my eyes. And every night, I remember. Be prepared for the battle. Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks. Prove all things. Hold fast that which is good. Faithful is he that calls you, who also will do it. He will be your Warrior. He will be your Comfort. He will be your Peace. Remember. Read. Refrain. Rely. The battle is already won. SCRIPTURE READING: 1 Thessalonians 5:5-6, 8, 10-11, 16-18, 21-24 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 Psalm 71:18, 77:6, 78:4, 101:3, 102:18, 119, 143:5 Daniel 2:22 I John 5:14-15 Colossians 3:2 Ephesians 6:10-18 Romans 12:2-3 Philippians 2:9-11, 4:13 Mark 9:23-24 John 1:1-5,9, 8:12, 14:18, 26 Hebrews 13:5 Deuteronomy 1:30, 20:4 I Timothy 1:5-14, 6:12 2 Peter 1:12
6/16/2023
Is Jesus Sick Of Hearing From Me?Some of you will think I’m crazy when you read this, but the other night I received a late night text message from my son.
And it made me tear up. Not because he was being sentimental or sharing his love, but because he asked if it would be okay to talk to his dad. Yep, that brought the tears. He still needed his dad. Sometimes, as our kids get older we see them unconsciously moving farther and farther away from us. Not physically, but emotionally. It’s just a part of the maturing process. They don’t need us anymore. And that’s hard. Even though we’re incredibly proud of the adult they have become, somehow we don’t feel as important to them anymore. But then there are moments like these. My husband never turns his phone off. He’s a pastor, so he needs to be available 24/7. My kids know this, so in an effort not to wake him late at night, they will text me to see if we are sleeping. They know they won’t disturb us, because I turn my phone off when we go to bed. The thing is, they also know that if they did call their daddy, he would answer. He would help. He would get out of bed and go to their house to fix any problem at any hour of the night. No matter what. That’s the kind of daddy he is. Always on call. Always helping. Always present. And man, isn’t that just a picture of our Heavenly Daddy? Someone commented on one of my posts recently and said, “I know Jesus must be sick of hearing from me.” I immediately wanted to reassure her~ “NO, NO this isn’t true!” Yet, as I looked deeper at my own heart I realized I have had those same thoughts myself. Too often my prayers seem to come back to… “I’m sorry God… I messed up again. Help me God. Please help me. Why do I keep doing this God? When will I learn? I have no right even asking You for help, but please, please help me.” I get myself into trouble then need God to bail me out. Over and over. And I feel ashamed to even ask. To even call on Him. Just like we don’t want our own children to experience the “hard” alone, God feels the same about his children. Whether we grow and mature in our Christian faith, or fail time and time again, we will always need our Heavenly Father. Always. And that makes me think about these moments with my kids. There isn’t a single thing they could do that would make me turn them away and not answer when they call for help… When they call just to talk, when they call to complain, when their hearts are broken, when they’re hurting or excited, happy or sad. Always, my heart yearns to listen, to help them and to rejoice with them. I never tire of hearing from them. Their daddy feels the same way, and so does their Heavenly Father. And He wants to hear from us. He will never, ever get sick of hearing from us because we are His children. Forgiven, redeemed, justified and loved. Loved beyond comprehension. No matter the time, no matter how often, no matter the reason… no matter what, Jesus will always be there. He will answer. Always on call. Always helping. Always present. That’s the kind of Father He is. That’s the kind of Daddy He is. Call on Him today. SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 5:3, 18:6, 34:6, 42:8, 72:12-13, 102:1-2, 17, 103:13, 145:18 Isaiah 64:7 Jeremiah 33:3 Matthew 7:11 Luke 11:13 John 3:16, 15:16 Romans 8:26 2 Corinthians 6:18 Philippians 4:6-7 Hebrews 4:16 I John 3:1, 4:9, 5:14
6/9/2023
What Are You Proud Of?What are you proud of?
I’m not going to beat around the bush here, we all know what this month has been labeled, so again I ask~ What are YOU proud of? I realize there is a fine line when it comes to pride in scripture. God hates pride when it’s directed toward self and we become our own center of worship.The pride I’m talking about today is a different type of boasting. How is it that you can tell when someone is proud? Proud people talk about the things that they are proud of. Often. We find it easy to talk about our favorite sports teams, our political views, our children and grandchildren, our spouses and even ourselves. We find camaraderie with those who pride themselves in similar things. Our voices become louder and louder when we are around others who share in that pride. So I want to ask you again, what are you proud of? Because others are watching. Does your pride come through in your praises, or in your opinions? Your pride reveals itself in the words that you speak. Your children hear it, your family hears it. Your friends and coworkers, your neighbors, even strangers hear it. What story is your pride telling? I am afraid that too often it’s a sad and angry story full of complaints and woes, and not a story of hope and redemption. Please don’t get me wrong~ it’s incredibly important to stand for what is right. To teach our families truths based on God’s word and to stand up for that truth. But do others know why we believe these things? What is the point of our stand? To prove we are right, or to praise our God and give Him the glory? Are we so focused on proving others are wrong that we’re missing the whole point of the gospel? We can become so focused on what we believe is evil that we miss out on opportunities to share all that is good and righteous and beautiful. The very person of Jesus our Savior and Redeemer. Our hope for the hopeless. Our amazing God. Our lives should revolve around Him and His goodness. Our praises and pride should be for Him and His gift of salvation. He took our place on the cross. He died for the wickedness of this world~ and my friend, that includes you and that includes me. No one is excluded. For all have sinned. If we don’t teach the next generation why we believe what we believe, if we don’t boast on the incredible love of our Savior and the gift of salvation that we did not deserve, our opinions and viewpoints will become just that. Opinions. Viewpoints. Voices becoming louder and louder. And the next generation will grow up believing that it is “us against the world” instead of~ “God so loved the world.” So today I want to tell you what I am proud of. I am proud of my God. I am proud of my Savior. I am proud of the love and mercy and grace He shows me on a daily basis, all of which I do not deserve. Love that isn’t based on my performance, mercy that doesn’t stop as soon as I mess up again, but love and mercy that endure FOREVER. I am proud of what the rainbow truly represents. The rainbow HE created as an everlasting promise to us. A rainbow that surrounds the very throne of it’s Creator. I am proud of His word and His promises, promises that hold peace that passes understanding. I am proud to call God my Provider and Redeemer, my Father and my very best Friend. I am proud to say that He is my everything. I would be nothing without Him. I am proud of Jesus. Name above all names. I want to share God’s truth and stand firm on my beliefs, beliefs that are rooted and grounded in scripture; but more than anything I want to make HIM known. That’s what I want the next generation to remember. Not me. Not my opinions. Jesus. God is our everything. Let’s brag differently. What are you proud of today? Psalm 89:1-2, 5-9, 11, 13-18 Psalm 136, 148, 150 I Peter 3:15-18, Hebrews 12:14 Revelation 4:3, Ezekiel 1:28
6/2/2023
What Story Will Your Pain Tell?This wasn’t the plan.
In an instant, life changed and I desperately wished I could hit the rewind button. But I couldn’t. This moment had the power to rewrite the rest of my story, and I could not see a happy ending. I suddenly felt like I was in a dream. Day by day, trying to survive but living in a fog. Walking in darkness. Alone. This would be my life, because I could not go back and change the events that happened. And I cried for the memory of what I thought my life would look like. Have you ever been here? In this moment? Perhaps you are right now. As my husband was typing his Bible study the other day, I couldn’t help but think about this. He finished his first page and in his tired state, he hit “no” when prompted to save his work. We aren’t tech savvy. This has happened to me before and I knew there was a solution, I just had to find it. I warned my husband not to touch any keys but he was somehow sure he could figure it out. And he kept trying. By the time I googled the answer, it was too late. His study was gone. How many times in my life has this happened to me? What I thought my life would look like, disappearing within seconds. And my heart left broken like an empty page staring back at me, the cursor hovering over nothingness. What do I do now? How often I have tried to figure it out in my own strength. Trying, trying but failing. Sadly, there have been moments that turned into years upon years of me trying and missing all God had for me. Crying way too often, because this wasn’t supposed to be my life. What do you do when the unexpected happens? When your life is turned upside down in a moment and you weren’t prepared for it at all. When the shocking trauma blindsides you, and there’s nothing you can do to change it? When this is your new normal and you are left with a blank piece of paper representing the rest of your life? I am here to tell you that I did all the wrong things. For years. I kept writing on that paper and erasing it and trying again. Over and over. Until the day I finally gave God the pen. Ladies, I know it’s not easy because I’ve been there. Trauma leaves scars. It’s hard. So very hard. But God is our God of the impossible. And my life felt like a happy ending was definitely impossible. So today, I want to encourage you with a few things I learned through it all. It’s okay to have all the emotions, but don’t camp out there. Bring them ALL to God. Too often we cry about how it isn’t fair. How we don’t deserve this pain or how we do deserve to feel all the negative that our hearts are experiencing. We sit there in that muck and tell ourselves that we have every right to be angry or sad, scared and hurt or even depressed. And then we’re stuck. Exactly where Satan wants us. And we don’t even realize that we are hurting ourselves day after day with these emotions we are justifying. We begin to write our own story on that blank piece of paper, but this is not the story God wants your pain to tell. These aren’t God’s words, they aren’t even our words and in those moments we don’t even recognize that they are Satan’s. His lies. We have handed him the pen. It would be so easy for me to just say Trust God. He’s in control. The end. But when the hard really hits you, you don’t know what trusting God looks like because you are human and you’re hurting. And it’s in those moments that we need God to remind us. He understands our emotions better than we do. Not only because He created them, but He also experienced them Himself. There will be days that you are angry and don’t want to read His words. There will be days when you’re hurting so badly that you can’t even whisper a prayer, and there will be good days when God is your lifeline and you know deep down that He’s got this. You know you can trust Him. So what does trusting God look like? It is all of us in our feebleness understanding that God truly is in control and we are not. We were never alone in the darkness. He was always with us and He always will be. It’s looking back at all His goodness and looking ahead to the goodness to come. He knew what was going to happen. He knew all the hurt and anger, fear and sadness you would feel. He knew and because He allowed it, we have His promise that it’s for our good and for His glory. Instead of asking why, ask God to open your eyes to the truth of that goodness. And in the mean time, I highly encourage you to write down every single emotion you are feeling. Those emotions could change daily, and daily you will need God’s perspective. Once you’ve written them down, do a word study of each one in scripture. Google works great for this, so does an old fashioned Bible commentary. Give God that pen and let Him fill that blank piece of paper. Ask Him to take each emotion you are feeling and wrap it in His promises. Once you have God’s words written down, read them to yourself over and over. God’s words are power. Let them shout over Satan’s lies. Each day is a new day toward a different narrative. You can choose to wallow in what happened and what could have been, or you can decide that you are going to live your best life. You can decide that Satan will not have the victory and that cursor hovering over all the nothingness will suddenly be moving across moments of time filled with promises of joy and new beginnings. I’m not going to lie, it will be hard but God knows the outcome. I can say with 100% certainty, it will be worth it because today I can finally look back and see God’s story and His goodness. When I chose to let go of every emotion and give them over to God, my happy ending wasn’t impossible because my God worked the impossible deep within me. His power changed everything. And He gets all the glory. What story will your pain tell? Hand Him your pen my friend. SCRIPTURE READING: Revelation 12:9 Hebrews 4:15, 11:1, 13:5 Romans 8:26, 28, 37-39 Proverbs 3:5-6 Psalm 23:4, 34:4, 73:26, 94:19, 139 Deuteronomy 3:18 Isaiah 55:8-9 Exodus 14:14 Nehemiah 8:10, Isaiah 41:10 Ephesians 3:20 Luke 1:37 Matthew 19:26 Philippians 3:13-14 Ecclesiastes 3:11 When my youngest daughter was only 5, we took our family swimming. Our beach is ideal for young families. You have to walk at least a hundred feet before the water gets deep enough to actually swim. It’s perfect for young ones to splash and play in.
On this particular day, Mike and I went out a little deeper as our kids played near the shore. Within a split second our lives could have drastically changed. We looked over to see our youngest bobbing up and down right next to the shoreline, an area where the depth of water doesn’t even reach my knees. How could this be? She was drowning. We never moved so quickly. Praise God, we got to her in time. Somehow right next to the shoreline there was a large hole that she had waded into. Later that night, after we were all in bed she came down to our bedroom and told us that if she had died she knew she would’ve gone to hell and she wanted to ask Jesus to save her right then. And we knew she knew. Even at such a young age, she understood sin. She understood she needed Jesus. There was no prompting. It was of her own free will. There are so many beautiful moments when you’re a mom, but there are also a lot of hard aspects too. From the moment they are born, if your child has been raised going to church and hearing the gospel, I think one of the hardest aspects for parents is concern for their child’s soul. I didn’t grow up knowing Christ. I grew up with religion and rules. I didn’t have an intimate relationship with Jesus until I was 12. It was different for my children. They grew up hearing about Jesus, their beautiful Savior, from day one. It was talked about often. And that’s where it gets hard. As a parent, you don’t want your child to make a decision just to please mom and dad; nor do you want them to make a decision because it’s what they’re taught, thinking it’s just what they’re supposed to do. You want their repentance and salvation to come out of a genuine heart that understands they’re a sinner that needs a Savior. Every child is different. Some just seem to grasp that at an early age and others don’t get it for a long time. And that’s when the worry sets in. Mamas KNOW when they’re child understands sin. It comes naturally to them (and us 😉). There’s no mistaking it. And then you begin to wonder, what if something happens to my child and they don’t know Jesus?? I also understand that heaven can be so alluring to a child. I mean, what kid wants to go to hell? That’s incredibly scary. At such a tender age of 5, I’m sure that was a scary thought for my daughter. There’s so many things young children don’t quite grasp when they’re little, but with age comes growth. Here’s the thing about God and His promises to us~ whether you are 5 or 95, you will always be growing in your walk with the Lord. Not once does He tell us that we have to understand the weight of every single thing the Bible teaches before we can accept His free gift of salvation. God simply tells us to have the faith of a child. Matthew 18:3-4, 2 Peter 3:9 So what is a parent or grandparent supposed to do? I’m not claiming to be an expert, far from it. But here are some things to keep in mind through your parenting journey as you introduce your children to Jesus. I pray that they can be an encouragement to you. 1. Pray for your children without ceasing. I Thessalonians 5:16-18 2. Talk about Jesus and His gift to us often. Ephesians 2:8, John 21:25 3. Make sure they understand that this isn’t religion, this is Jesus you are talking about. Their Father, their Savior and their very best Friend. 2 Corinthians 1:3, Philippians 3:10 4. I cannot stress this enough~ make Jesus real to your children!! Don’t just introduce them to your “way of life”, introduce them to the God of the Bible. The same Jesus who has radically changed your life. Make Him real to them by example. Titus 3:4-8 5. Don’t try to allure them with a “free ticket to heaven” speech. Salvation is so much more than that. Salvation is Jesus. Hebrews 2:9 6. Don’t use fear as a tactic for conversion. Jesus death on the cross had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with love. There is no fear in love. I John 4:18 7. Don’t pressure your child to make a decision or force them to say some “magic words” that they hope will get them into heaven. 8. Help them to understand that it isn’t the words they say as they pray, it’s a repentant heart that understands their sin and need of saving. Acts 3:19 9. Understand what it means in your own life to have the faith of a child, and then do just that. Have faith as a child. Don’t make salvation complicated in your mind, or in theirs. Believe what Jesus says in His word, that if we confess and we believe~ we will be saved. It’s as simple as that. Don’t add to it or make it hard. I John 1:9, Romans 10:9-10 10. And then pray some more. As a mama and grandma, you can never, ever pray too much for your children and grandchildren. Only God knows our hearts. Only God knows your child’s heart. Don’t try to work out their salvation for them. As hard as it is not to intervene and worry and nag, remember all power and mercy, love and forgiveness comes only from God. And always remember, God’s love for your children and His care for their souls is infinitely greater than your own. You do your part in being that example to your children and leave the rest with Him. Ephesians 3:16-21 I’m not sure what sparked the thought, but the other day it hit me that I may not be here to see my grandchildren get married and have children of their own. A sadness swept over me. My love for them is so strong. I have this immense desire to protect them and pray for them and be a part of their moments, good and bad. To rejoice with them and cheer them on. But this may not be my reality, and my emotions got the best of me. It’s probably silly, but the tears came.
I know Mother’s Day is past and the celebrations are over, but this mom and grandma still has so much on her heart to share. I probably always will. As I was reading all the celebratory quotes, one stuck with me and I’ve been pondering it ever since~ “Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.” Wow! That stopped me in my tracks. So mama, what message are we sending to the future? This thought went deep for me. There are just SO MANY!! To be honest, I wanted to be lazy and write a fluff piece for today but God gave me a nudge, just like He always does. It’s crazy how often I will read the daily devotional sent to my inbox and somehow my Scripture app just “happens” to be on the exact same Bible chapter that day. Today was such a case and as I worried about my children and my grandchildren’s futures, God literally spoke to me through His words. Words I would like to share with you today. I hope they encourage you like they did me. Psalms 90-94. Psalm 90:1&2~ Continually remind yourself that GOD is our dwelling place. Not this world, not our homes~ but God. He has been from generation to generation and know matter what the future holds, He will be from everlasting to everlasting. Psalm 90:12-17~ With this in mind, let these words be our prayer as we look to the future of our children and grandchildren~ God: *TEACH us to number our days and in the doing, gain wisdom. (Each day is another opportunity to mold our children and grandchildren. Don’t take it for granted and don’t squander it.) 90:12 *SATISFY us with your STEADFAST (loyal, unwavering) love. (This is the heartbeat of our joy and gladness.) 90:14 *MAKE us glad ALL our days. (Not just the good days, but the bad days too. Our emotions teach our children just as much as our words.) 90:15 *OPEN our eyes to see your works and show your power to our children. (We take so much for granted. God is continually blessing us and we need eyes to see and in turn, share that with the next generation.) 90:16 *ESTABLISH the work of our hands. (This should be our daily prayer. When God is the author of every single thing we do, He is glorified and His love shines from us to others. Our children will carry this prayer with them into the future, by witnessing it in our lives on a daily basis.) 90:17 Psalm 91:1-16~ *When we dwell in God’s presence we are protected under His shadow. He is our refuge and fortress and we can trust Him with everything. 91:1-2 In the trusting we will not fear the present or the future of our children and grandchildren, because we made God our dwelling place and held fast to Him in love. He will protect, rescue and satisfy us. No matter where we are, no matter where our children are, there is so much comfort in knowing that when we have God, we are always home. 91:3-16 Psalm 93:1-2~ And when we realize ALL of this, we will give thanks to God. We will sing praises. We will talk about His steadfast love and faithfulness morning and evening because we will realize He alone makes us glad and joyful and He alone (not us) will make our children and grandchildren glad and joyful. Psalm 93:3-5, 94:14&15~ As the floods of this present world roar against us and we fear the future for our children and grandchildren, we can KNOW that God is mightier and that **“The things that we’re afraid of are afraid of God!” We can trust Him. He will never forsake us or abandon us. Psalm 94:17-19~ If we didn’t have these promises we would be utterly distraught, but we have an entire book of God’s promises to cling to. His steadfast love holds us up. When the cares of our heart and the worries for our children’s futures are many, God’s consolations will cheer us. When we are no longer on this earth to cheer our children and grandchildren on, His consolations will continue to do so. Psalm 94:22~ He is our rock. He is our stronghold and He will forever be our children and our children’s children’s rock and stronghold. From everlasting to everlasting. I know this was long, and if you stuck with me to the end I hope it encouraged you. Sometimes mamas just need a reminder that ultimately we are not the ones to determine the happiness in our children’s future. We want to be their rock and fortress, we want to bring them joy and happiness and we can, but our love could never compare to the steadfast love God has for them and the best way to show them that is by example. An example we will leave with them long after we’re gone. **The Things That I’m Afraid Of Josh Wilson
5/12/2023
Twenty Years LaterThe end of 2002 and the year 2003 were incredibly hard on our little church. Five moms passed away in that short amount of time, including my sweet sister in law~ less than a week after giving birth to her 6th child, and my own precious mom. We didn’t have our usual Mother Daughter banquet at church that year. The grief was still so fresh.
I remember so many tears at that time. Reading all the quotes about grief getting easier with time and yet, here I am 20 years later, and it seems like yesterday to me. Year by year the grief has changed with me, along with my view of my mother. The older I get, the more I understand. And I miss her. It’s almost a daily occurrence for me to wish I could ask her a question, or share in that deep love I have for my grandchildren or just give her a hug. There were so many things I got irritated about when I was younger, when life got crazy and I needed her but she couldn’t come for one reason or another. I’m sad to admit that I never realized how much SHE needed me and now as each year passes, I understand more and more and I find myself crying for the young selfish girl I once was and whispering “I’m sorry mom.” Guilt and grief can often live side by side, but guilt is not the author of my words today. Love, and understanding that comes with age is. Your mom will never be perfect. Your mom will mess up, but.. Your mom loves you with her everything. She always will. She will never stop loving you. She won’t always be able to be the mama you remember as a child. She will wish with all her heart that she could be but… She will get older and she will need you just as much as you need her. And sadly, you won’t see it because in your eyes she is the mom of your yesterdays. The one who always took care of you. You are who you are because of who she was and who she is. Her spark lives inside of you. She raised you to be the strong woman you are. To accomplish “all the things” whether that’s school or a job or raising a family. And as you are accomplishing “all the things”, you won’t see mom with clear eyes until one day you’re her age and you’re watching your own children as they accomplish “all the things.” All the things she taught you. All the things you taught them. And you will wish for that time back when you could’ve said “I understand mom.” When you could’ve said “I’m not too busy for you.” When you could’ve said “how can I help?” When you could’ve said “thank you” more. When you could say “I love you” one more time. Mother’s Day is a good place to start, but it shouldn’t end there. A mom is a mom every single day, whether her child is a newborn, or a senior citizen. She is mom. Don’t wait until she’s gone to realize how much you took for granted. You may not get to spend another Mother’s Day with her. The grief still seems fresh, but in so many different ways than it did 20 years ago. Don’t hold on to the mess ups. Jesus doesn’t hold on to ours. Hold on to all the good. Ask God to open your eyes to that spark that lives inside you, to the woman she was and the woman she is. The mom who loves you with her everything. Don’t whisper wishes in the dark when she’s gone. Tell her today how much she means to you. Tell her thank you. Not just today, but everyday because one day your “everydays” will become a thing of the past. When was it the last?
The very last time your child crawled up into your lap to snuggle? The last time they reached for your hand? The last time you helped them get dressed? The last time they wanted to be with you, just to be with you? To talk about everything and nothing all at once? To lay their head on your shoulder or have you kiss their hurts away? I don’t think any of us mamas know when the last time will be, and then we realize that somehow at some point it was the last time, but our days transitioned into months and years and we missed it. Day by day everything seemed to be the same, until suddenly it wasn’t. We didn’t soak it in, because we thought we had more time. I watched my daughter last Sunday morning as she taught her boys a Sunday school lesson. I watched their faces light up with smiles when she was silly. I watched their wide little eyes as they listened intently to everything she said. In that moment, she was the most important person in their little worlds. I wanted to make her see it, right then. I wanted her to soak it all in. The beauty of this moment with her little men. Somehow I think she missed it. Not purposely, not because she’s a bad mother (she’s an amazing mother), but because this is her “everyday”. And it made me think of all the “everydays” that I took for granted. The years will pass and you will miss it mama. Through the teenage years, through the young adult years… you will miss those smiles, the snuggles, the talks and the kisses. Soak it in. Soak it all in. Don’t miss the beauty of your everyday. Purpose in your heart to truly cherish all the little things your days hold. Thank God for the blessings of raising our next generation before you lay your head down to sleep~ because the older they get, the less they will want to do all the everyday things. One day your little men will be grown men, and you will remember the days when they reached for your hand. You will wonder where the time went. Life will go on if the dishes aren’t washed, if the beds aren’t made, if the toys aren’t cleaned up. The same tasks will be there tomorrow, but today might be the last of the snuggles and kisses. God has given mamas the unique gift of turning ordinary tasks into beautiful memories. Memories made in the “everydays”. Baking treats together in the kitchen, forts made out of blankets and pillows in the bedroom, Lego villages and Barbie houses in the living room. Snuggles with mama on the couch, and kisses and prayers in the bedroom at night. Your babies will grow up. You will be so proud of them. You will love every phase of their lives. Your “everydays”will become different with each passing year. Oh, how you will realize these beautiful moments are a sweet gift God gives every day, moments you won’t take for granted because you now realize how quickly time passes. But you will also remember… Today is so important. So stop what you’re doing. Sit down on the couch with your child and just listen. Don’t think about all the tasks, truly listen. Because these are the “everydays”that dreams are made of. Precious everyday moments talking about everything and nothing all at once. |
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