7/28/2023
Don’t BlinkI looked down the mudroom stairway. Wet swim suits, beach towels, tennis shoes, a few rocks and an insect net~ all sprawled out across the floor.
And I smiled to myself. My younger self would have looked at the mess and thought~more work for me. It’s never ending. My younger self would have thought it was an inconvenience. My younger self would have missed what was right in front of my eyes… I am babysitting my grandsons this week and I couldn’t help but think back to a post I wrote 10 years ago, when I was babysitting my daughter’s firstborn. Now she has four. Four boys. I remember telling her how much she should cherish this time and I entitled the article~ “Before You Blink”. It seems like it was yesterday when I wrote that. It seems like it was just yesterday and I was here babysitting and looking down these very steps at wet mittens and scarves, hats, boots and coats. I blinked and winter turned to spring and spring turned to summer. Where did the months go? Where did the years go? I think about my own mudroom and the revolving seasons that passed all too quickly. Comings and goings. And now, gone. Little voices asking for help with their mittens and zippers. Little smiles with ice cream drippings and watermelon juice. Little requests for one more push on the swings. Swim suits and beach towels. Cleats and tennis shoes. Learners permits, sport paraphernalia, endless trips to the washing machine~ and beautiful memories. And now, I get to do it all over again with my grandchildren. And what a gift that is. And today as I looked down at our newest, little Ivy who is only one week old, I remember my words to my daughter. Cherish these moments, because you will blink and they will be gone. I knew all too well how much truth was in that statement and yet, I blinked and ten years flew by. I blinked and my babies had babies. Her wide little eyes looked up at me and it was almost as if I could see how quickly these days will pass. “Don’t grow too fast precious, little one” I whispered. Sometimes we get so bogged down with our todays that we don’t think about our tomorrows and how much we will miss. We miss the blessings right in front of us as time plays on a loop, and days and seasons run into each other. Hit the pause button. Mama, there is absolutely nothing that is more important than these moments. Right now. Raising your children. Get on the floor with them. Laugh with them. Play with them. Dance with them. Sing with them. Listen to them. Be with them. Look at the wet swim suits and beach towels, the winter coats and hats and understand~please understand~ that those are not inconveniences. They are tremendous gifts from God.
7/21/2023
What Does Jesus Say About You?My daughter just gave birth to a precious baby girl early Wednesday morning. Ivy Flora is her first.
Every mom has a different birth story. It’s crazy and beautuful and unique. I have a different birth story for each one of my four children. By my last, I had no idea what to expect. But I knew the end result. Pure joy. Laughter. Tears. Crazy love. Only moments after she was born, my husband got to hold little Ivy for the first time. Kathryn and Josh unashamedly shed the tears, and with complete and utter joy Kathryn said “I just love her so much. I want to take her everywhere and show her to everyone”. And boy did that make me think about Jesus. Because that’s exactly how He feels about us. Each of us may have a different rebirth story. That moment we were born again. John 3:3. That moment we understood the gift God gave us in His Son and His redemption on the cross. Romans 3:23. When we realized our sinfulness and asked for forgiveness. When God became our Father. John 1:12 It may have been a long process. It may have been painful. There may have been heartache and tears. Conviction can do that. Or, it might have been an easy, immediate understanding of such a gift. Everyone of us has a different story to tell, but ultimately the ending is the same. Pure joy. Laughter. Tears. Crazy love. Because at that moment we accept Jesus as our Savior we understand it wasn’t anything that we did. Ephesians 2:8&9 What does a baby have to do to be born? Not a thing. All that baby has to do is accept the free gift of life the moment they leave mama’s womb. Mama does all the work, and with a crazy love, she does it with joy. Because the moment that child is born changes everything. Jesus did all the work. And He did it with joy. Because of His crazy love for us. Hebrews 12:2 And that moment we are born into His family… that moment changes everything. That deep love we have for our children is because they are a part of us. Ivy didn’t do a thing to merit that unconditional love of her mama. Her mama loves her because she is her child. My eyes overflow with tears as I look at my baby and her baby. They are a part of me. My heart yearns to love and protect. And yet, as great as my love is for my children and grandchildren, the Bible tells us that there is no greater love than the love of Jesus. John 15:13, Jeremiah 31:3 When Jesus looks at us, He truly says~ I love her so much!! I want to take her everywhere and show her to everyone”, and do you know why? Not because of anything we have done. We didn’t do a thing to merit that unconditional love. God loves us simply because we are His. You are His little light, His precious child shining the love of Jesus from the inside out. You manifest His glory because He is always with you. Matthew 28:20, Hebrews 13:5 What does Jesus say about you? You’re created In His image. Genesis 1:27 You are wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14 God intricately formed you in your mother's womb. He knows you better than you know yourself. Psalm 139 He takes joy in you. Zephaniah 3:17 He knows the number of hairs on your head. Matthew 10:30 You are the light of the world. Matthew 5:14 God has chosen you. Revelation 17:14 You are His child. Always and forever. And He loves you so much, He wants to take you everywhere and show you to everyone. Pure joy. Laughter. Tears. Crazy love. “I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.” John 17:23 “I have loved thee with an everlasting love…” Jeremiah 31:3
7/14/2023
Don’’t Let Satan Talk To YouI’m not a morning person. Not at all. I literally wake up on the wrong side of the bed Every. Single. Morning. I think my blood type is “tired”. My body literally screams at me~ “Just let me sleep!!”.
This morning, after not seeing my husband for two weeks (and being ecstatic at his return home the night before), I pour my coffee and he makes a comment. Nothing negative, just a simple comment about the day. I am silent, but in my mind I have a quick, smart mouth response. It’s not pretty. Inwardly grumbling, I turn and walk silently back upstairs. Coffee in hand. In my mind I’m thinking~ “He knows I’m not a morning person. I’m tired. I don’t want to talk to anyone, except maybe Jesus.” And then my heart is pricked. I am a terrible person. After that silent comment, my thoughts tell me~surely Jesus doesn’t want to talk to me. My thoughts have gotten me into more trouble than I would ever care to admit. This reminded me of the other night. As I lay in bed in the darkness, a thought entered my mind. I knew it was wrong, but I ran with it. I knew it wasn’t truth, but I didn’t fight it. I didn’t pray, I just let it take control. It put me in a bad place and I felt utterly defeated. I could picture satan laughing and chiding me~”Gotcha”. The beauty is, no where in the Bible does it say that Satan knows our thoughts. He can certainly place them in our path, but we are the ones who can choose to grab a hold of those thoughts, or fight them off. He doesn’t know whether or not he has won that battle unless consequential action is taken. Even then he cannot read our minds. But God can. This can bring shame, but praise God it can also bring SO MUCH HOPE. There’s so many lessons here. For the Christian who judges others actions, but whose thoughts are far worse. God is so clear in His word on this matter. Pride and arrogance on the outside, but dirt on the inside. God sees the dirt my friend. And He sees all my dirt. All the negative thoughts I have, but don’t say out loud. I’m so thankful they stay inside my head and don’t come spewing out my mouth. I’m supposed to be the “good girl”. Sweet Charisse. Pastor’s wife. I would NEVER speak some of the things I think out loud. And sadly I would never tell a soul some of the places my thoughts have taken me. Here is where the Hope comes in. Satan can plant that thought and his lies in our path. In our human frailty we can either choose to cling to that disruptive thought and let it take over, or we can continually remind ourselves that God is with us ALWAYS. Right in that moment we have the power of God, His Son and Holy Spirit to fight for us and take that thought captive. That my friend is incredible hope. We are NEVER alone in our fight against the evil one. NEVER. The moment you become a Christian, Christ lives inside you. Satan might try to get inside your head, but he doesn’t live there. Jesus does. And here is another bit of beautiful hope. We are human. We mess up constantly. Satan may know our weaknesses but praise God, so does Jesus. Our God knows what we’re going to do. He knows the times we’re going to fail and not call out to him for help. He knows when we’re going to give in and our thought life is not going to be pleasing to Him, and yet even with this omniscient knowledge comes His amazing grace. Mercy and help in time of need. Love. Incredible love. He never turns His back. The times my thoughts are judging. The times my thoughts are sinful. The times my thoughts are filled with worry or fear. The times my thoughts are angry, sad, mean, prideful, wicked, doubting, covetous, self destructive, self reliant. He doesn’t turn His back. And when my heart weeps for the path my thoughts have taken and I allow myself to believe the lie that Jesus doesn’t want to talk to me~when I know He is always there to rescue me and I still push Him aside. He still loves. And He tells me His mercy is new EVERY morning and GREAT is His faithfulness. Satan might come knocking but we don’t have to let Him in. Let us continually remind ourselves that God owns this house we live in and when we reach for that door knob, stop and turn to Jesus. Look at Him and be reminded of that mercy and faithfulness, then walk away from the door. Tomorrow morning when my feet hit the floor, despite what my body might be screaming, I’m going to talk to Jesus instead of allowing Satan to talk to me. SCRIPTURE READING: 2 Corinthians 10:5, 12:9, 13:4 Proverbs 6:16-23 Matthew 23:23-27, 28:20 1 Corinthians 6:19&20, 10:12&13 Matthew 5 Romans 5:8, 7:15-25, 8:28, 15:13 Galatians 2:20 Hebrews 4:16 2 Timothy 1:7 Psalm 42:11, 55:22, 62:11, 103:14, 121:7&8, 136:12, 139:1-18 Philippians 4:6-7&13 1 Peter 5:7 Isaiah 41:10-13 Deuteronomy 31:7&8 Proverbs 15:3 James 4:7 Lamentations 3:22&23 Ephesians 1:19-21, 3:20, 6:10 I Chronicles 29:11 Colossians 1:16 Romans 8:37-39
7/7/2023
I Was Just A KidWhen I was younger, I was teased a lot. Mostly by boys, and not in a good way. Quite often the remarks went along the lines of my appearance. My boyish hair cut and body shape only added fuel to the fire. And even though I was just a kid, I can remember those remarks like it was yesterday, and they still sting…
There are many mistakes I made as a mom. I think most moms end up feeling this way at some point. Even today I worry that I disappoint my adult children, and they see a different mom than the one I hope to be. But one of my greatest regrets is not taking lessons from my own life, and praying specifically for those areas in the lives of my children. Years after the fact, I found out that my own kids went through teasing and heartache when they were younger. Heartache that they never told me about. That knowledge brings the tears. My heart hurts deeply for the little souls they once were. I thought we talked about everything. But then I realized, I never told my own mom about the comments that were made about me when I was younger. I kept them to myself and cried silently in bed at night. I prayed about so many things for my children, but there were so many other things I could have been praying about. My heart is burdened today to encourage mamas with children of all ages to get down on your knees and go to the throne of God for your kids. They are fighting battles from day 1 that we may never know about. I’m so thankful that as I have gotten older I’ve realized this, and as I look back at the struggles I had and the battles I fought, I can now pray specifically for my children in those areas. But their childhood is past. I can’t go back and change it. And even though they were just kids, the memories of all the bad still hold on. Satan has a way of doing that to us. And it discourages and defeats and depresses. So today, I am even more determined to bathe my kids in prayer. I can’t change the past but Jesus can change their future. He can change their outlook. He can give them victory. I don’t think parents can ever pray too much for their children, it is so incredibly important. Prayer is like breathing life into them. But I also remember those early stages of motherhood. When they’re little, sometimes it’s hard to see past the “now” into the future. We pray for things that are relevant. We pray for their salvation or their hearts to remain pure, we pray for their attitudes or their obedience. We pray for their personalities and characteristics, but too often we forget to pray for their minds. Their thought life. We forget to pray for their battles. Perhaps because we only see them as kids, and what might feel like a battle to them seems small and insignificant to us. Because we forget the battles we fought. The battles in our mind that still remain. Don’t forget mom. What is going on in their life right now will remain with them forever. Your prayers can change their futures. Prayers for protection against things that are said and done. Prayers that our own words and actions will uplift and encourage them. Prayers that they will always know how much they are loved by us, but more importantly by God. Prayers that their futures won’t be determined by the wrongful actions of others. Prayers that they will always come to you and share their hearts. Prayers that they will know, they can always go to you and ask for prayer. Because they know you’re a praying mom. Pray specifically mama. Talk to them about the battles you fought as a child. Ask your children questions. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to pray for your them. Don’t spend more time worrying about their circumstances than you spend on your knees talking to God on their behalf. Don’t look back and regret the fact that you missed the battles they were fighting, because they were literally fighting for their future. Cover that future in prayer. So many negative thoughts can be traced back to a childhood memory. Don’t allow Satan to have that victory over your kids. It’s built into a mama’s DNA to protect her children, but too often in the early years we focus so much on their physical well being and protection that we neglect to pray for the thoughts their futures will hold. You fight on your knees for them from the moment you find out you are going to be a mama. Day 1. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. They’re only kids, but they are your kids. Make sure they know they have a praying mama. There is no greater gift you can give your child. SCRIPTURE READING: Philippians 4:6,8 Deuteronomy 31:6 Matthew 22:37 I Peter 5:7&8 Romans 8:31-35,37-39, 12:2 Psalm 34:17-20, 71:18, 78:4,6&7, 94:19, 127:1-3, 147:3 2 Corinthians 10:5 Hebrews 4:12 Isaiah 26:3, 41:10, 54:13&17 Proverbs 3:5-6, 4:23 Ephesians 6:17
6/30/2023
When Life Isn’t A Joy RideI honestly don’t know how long I had been driving before I noticed the red and blue lights flashing in my rear view mirror. We live in a rural area. Long stretches of road with nothing but fields and beautiful views for miles. It’s wonderful, and doesn’t give much occasion to glance back at any oncoming traffic. Traffic is pretty nonexistent. I was singing along to some worship music with several kids in tow. Probably why I didn’t hear the siren. My children and their cousins were the reason I finally noticed. Fighting had ensued, followed by yelling (from me) “to knock it off or I’ll pull over!” It wasn’t until that moment that I finally looked in my mirror to see if they were obeying. Instead, I spotted flashing lights beckoning me to stop. So I pulled over. It wasn’t pretty. Apparently I had been speeding. 🤷🏼♀️ I was flustered, and when prompted to surrender proof of insurance, said proof could not be found. The officer returned to his vehicle, and of course that’s when I found it. When he came back I smiled cheerfully and said “I found it!” to which he replied. “Too late. I’m writing you a ticket.” My cheerfulness went right out the window. I’m sure the kids heard about it the rest of the way home. Isn’t that how life can be at times? We think we’re doing all the right things. We go to church and Bible studies. We read devotionals and blogs. We listen to podcasts and sing along to worship music. We coast through life enjoying the view, and then suddenly we are hit with an inconvenient attack from the devil. And we lose it. What we don’t realize is that~ all along Satan has been right on our tail but we were being too “spiritual” to notice. Too often all the good things take the place of the best things and when that inconvenience strikes, we can’t fight it. Suddenly we’re searching for truth, but we’re already in trouble. The Christian life isn’t just a joy ride. It’s a battle. We live in a day where knowledge and opinions are at our fingertips. So many people are telling us how we should live, that we don’t even search for that truth ourselves. We let others do that work, and in the process we miss out on all the wonders God has specifically for us. Wonders that only come from time spent with Him. Reading His words. Asking the Holy Spirit to show us what we need. Listening to the voice of God speak to our hearts. We want easy. We want quick. We want to glide through life and not have to dig for the answers. For the proof. Eventually Satan catches up to us. God’s word tells us that he goes about seeking who he can devour. How can we be prepared? By keeping God’s armor on at all times. The armor of God is so much more than a great Sunday School lesson or Vacation Bible School theme. It’s something you can study and glean countless knowledge from. I’m going to share a quick overview, but I HIGHLY recommend you get into God’s word yourself and look up scripture references that correlate with every piece of God’s armor. Armor God has specifically made for you! 1. The Belt of Truth- you cannot know what is truth if you aren’t in God’s word. Don’t let someone else tell you what is truth, read it for yourself. Jesus tells us HE is the way and the truth. God tells us to think on whatsoever things are true. Our hearts can so easily be deceived (even by ourselves) when we don’t know God’s truth. 2. The Breastplate of Righteousness- Righteousness only comes from Jesus. All our righteousness is like filthy rags. Nothing else can take the place of Jesus and the protection that He gives your heart and soul. 3. Shoes Fit for the Gospel of Peace- There is so much to learn from God’s word on the gospel of peace. God’s peace passes ALL understanding. When we are attacked, is this the reaction the world sees from us? 4. The Shield of Faith- Our faith will always be tested (proved) and it will not remain strong if we are continually relying on others for knowledge from God’s word. Faith strengthens when time is spent with the God of all strength. 5. The Helmet of Salvation- This is of utmost importance. Without the gift of salvation received by faith, the battle cannot be won. God’s gift of His Son’s death on the cross rescues us from eternal damnation. It renews and transforms our minds against anything the devil tries to deceive us with. Once received, salvation can never be taken away. It is our protection for eternity. 6. The Sword of the Spirit-God’s word is so powerful. It’s inspired. It speaks to our soul and spirit. It shows us doctrine, reproof, correction and instruction. I didn’t think it was fair when I received a ticket for not providing proof of insurance “fast enough”, because I still provided the proof. I’m not trying to compare that police officer to Satan but… 😂 Here’s the thing~Satan doesn’t play fair. Don’t coast through life on a joy ride with Satan on your tail, because he will catch up. Have your proof always ready and when he does show up, just speaking the name of Jesus will be your truth, because you know you’re ready for that battle. You’re strong in the Lord and the power of HIS might. His armor is all you need. Praise God for the gift He gives us in others, in the beautiful feet of those who share the gospel of peace. We all need specific men and women that God places in our lives, but their words should never take the place of HIS WORDS. Instead of allowing someone else (this blog included) to tell you how God is speaking to you, spend time in the presence of God Himself. That is a sweet, precious intimacy between you and your Savior. Nothing else can take its place. SCRIPTURE READING: John 8:32, 10:28-30, 14:16&27, 16:13&33, 17:17 Philippians 4:6-8 Isaiah 64:6 Romans 3:22&23, 10:15&17, 12:2&3, 15:13 Titus 3:5-7 James 3:17&18 Ephesians 2:8&9, 3:16&17, 4:3, 6:10-18 Psalm 119:165 Proverbs 3:5&6 Mark 9:23 I Peter 1:8&9, 5:8-10 2 Peter 1:19-21 I John 5:4 I Corinthians 16:13 Hebrews 4:12, 12:2 I Timothy 6:12 2 Timothy 2:15, 3:16&17 Isaiah 52:7, 54:17 Hebrews 2:1-3
6/23/2023
Are You Under AttackSatan knows when the best time is to attack. Each of us have our triggers. Maybe it’s loneliness, or something deep within that no one else knows about. For some, it might be the work place, for others it might be family. For me, it’s the dark of night.
Sharing this is something that I wrestled with. I haven’t wanted to. Maybe one day I will tell the whole story, but for today I will just share a part… During the day time hours it’s easy for me to feel like “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. It might not always be easy to fight battles, but my heart and my mind know what the truth is. I can think logically. I can get in God’s word. I can pray, quote scripture and listen to worship music. But in the middle of the night, when my brain is in a fog and I’m half asleep~that’s when satan strikes. Often. I get up 2-3 times a night. Old age and 4 kids. Always, I stumble into the bathroom. The entire world is dark and quiet, and even though I am half asleep~ thoughts immediately spring up into my head out of nowhere. My defenses are down and I am not prepared for the battle. And it’s a big one. A battle of doubt that wages against everything I’ve ever believed. And it’s scary. And it’s very hard to admit. Today I want to mention some things that have helped me through this. Maybe you don’t have the same issues that I do, but maybe you’re fighting different battles and you feel helpless and alone. Maybe scared. I pray these things can help and encourage you to fight with your everything, and to remember that God is always, always for you. There are no weapons that are stronger than He is, because our weapons aren’t carnal. They’re spiritual and they will pull down the strongholds that battle against us. He will always fight for us. For me, the time of the attacks is what makes them hard. 2-3 times, night after night. Let’s be real here, in my sleepy state I am not going to do a Bible study on the toilet in the dark. I’m not going to blast worship music and wake up my husband. Quite often I just want to go back to sleep, and I’m not thinking logically. So, what’s a person to do in that situation? Be prepared ahead of time. Here are some things that can help you with your battle, especially when the attack hits you out of nowhere. 1. Remember. It doesn’t matter what the situation is or where you are, you can remember the goodness of God on your life. In the past, in the present and in the future. If Jesus is your Savior, you will one day be in glory with Him. That alone can help sustain us. So when that attack happens, and it will happen, start thanking and praising Jesus for EVERYTHING. Every single thing that comes into your heart and mind. Remember our God of the Bible. He is your God too. Remember His faithfulness. Recall it. Say it out loud. Remember. 2. Read. Stay in God’s word and hide it in your heart. When an attack happens, you don’t have the luxury to say to Satan- “Can you hold on a minute while I get out my Bible and look up some verses?” Know God’s truths. Memorize them and use them to fight against the lies. An amazing chapter to meditate on is Psalm 119. I listen to it on my bible app every single day as I’m putting on my makeup and preparing for the day. Over and over let His words saturate your heart and soul. 3. Refrain. Stay away from things that can mess with your head, ie television shows, music and social media. For me, the things that my eyes (and heart) take in right before going to bed at night can have a huge impact on how my night goes. We don’t realize how much these things can affect us negatively. Every single day we soak it all in~ sadly, even more than we soak in God’s words to us. This is a huge deterrent to our spiritual warfare. The Holy Spirit will show you the things you need to steer clear of, you just need to listen. 4. Rely and Pray. In my situation there were times this was a tough one, because doubt was my battle field. In those moments all I could do was say the name of Jesus. And that is enough. There is power in His name. Did the doubts magically go away at 2am? No. 4am rolls around and BAM!, I’m hit again. But I will keep saying His name over and over. Why? Because of my first two points. He has always been faithful to me and I know He’s not going to stop now. His word is His promise. God helped me in ways I could never imagine. My heart was saying “Lord I believe, help my unbelief.” And He did just that. In amazing ways that bring tears to my eyes. And every night, I remember. Be prepared for the battle. Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks. Prove all things. Hold fast that which is good. Faithful is he that calls you, who also will do it. He will be your Warrior. He will be your Comfort. He will be your Peace. Remember. Read. Refrain. Rely. The battle is already won. SCRIPTURE READING: 1 Thessalonians 5:5-6, 8, 10-11, 16-18, 21-24 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 Psalm 71:18, 77:6, 78:4, 101:3, 102:18, 119, 143:5 Daniel 2:22 I John 5:14-15 Colossians 3:2 Ephesians 6:10-18 Romans 12:2-3 Philippians 2:9-11, 4:13 Mark 9:23-24 John 1:1-5,9, 8:12, 14:18, 26 Hebrews 13:5 Deuteronomy 1:30, 20:4 I Timothy 1:5-14, 6:12 2 Peter 1:12
6/16/2023
Is Jesus Sick Of Hearing From Me?Some of you will think I’m crazy when you read this, but the other night I received a late night text message from my son.
And it made me tear up. Not because he was being sentimental or sharing his love, but because he asked if it would be okay to talk to his dad. Yep, that brought the tears. He still needed his dad. Sometimes, as our kids get older we see them unconsciously moving farther and farther away from us. Not physically, but emotionally. It’s just a part of the maturing process. They don’t need us anymore. And that’s hard. Even though we’re incredibly proud of the adult they have become, somehow we don’t feel as important to them anymore. But then there are moments like these. My husband never turns his phone off. He’s a pastor, so he needs to be available 24/7. My kids know this, so in an effort not to wake him late at night, they will text me to see if we are sleeping. They know they won’t disturb us, because I turn my phone off when we go to bed. The thing is, they also know that if they did call their daddy, he would answer. He would help. He would get out of bed and go to their house to fix any problem at any hour of the night. No matter what. That’s the kind of daddy he is. Always on call. Always helping. Always present. And man, isn’t that just a picture of our Heavenly Daddy? Someone commented on one of my posts recently and said, “I know Jesus must be sick of hearing from me.” I immediately wanted to reassure her~ “NO, NO this isn’t true!” Yet, as I looked deeper at my own heart I realized I have had those same thoughts myself. Too often my prayers seem to come back to… “I’m sorry God… I messed up again. Help me God. Please help me. Why do I keep doing this God? When will I learn? I have no right even asking You for help, but please, please help me.” I get myself into trouble then need God to bail me out. Over and over. And I feel ashamed to even ask. To even call on Him. Just like we don’t want our own children to experience the “hard” alone, God feels the same about his children. Whether we grow and mature in our Christian faith, or fail time and time again, we will always need our Heavenly Father. Always. And that makes me think about these moments with my kids. There isn’t a single thing they could do that would make me turn them away and not answer when they call for help… When they call just to talk, when they call to complain, when their hearts are broken, when they’re hurting or excited, happy or sad. Always, my heart yearns to listen, to help them and to rejoice with them. I never tire of hearing from them. Their daddy feels the same way, and so does their Heavenly Father. And He wants to hear from us. He will never, ever get sick of hearing from us because we are His children. Forgiven, redeemed, justified and loved. Loved beyond comprehension. No matter the time, no matter how often, no matter the reason… no matter what, Jesus will always be there. He will answer. Always on call. Always helping. Always present. That’s the kind of Father He is. That’s the kind of Daddy He is. Call on Him today. SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 5:3, 18:6, 34:6, 42:8, 72:12-13, 102:1-2, 17, 103:13, 145:18 Isaiah 64:7 Jeremiah 33:3 Matthew 7:11 Luke 11:13 John 3:16, 15:16 Romans 8:26 2 Corinthians 6:18 Philippians 4:6-7 Hebrews 4:16 I John 3:1, 4:9, 5:14
6/9/2023
What Are You Proud Of?What are you proud of?
I’m not going to beat around the bush here, we all know what this month has been labeled, so again I ask~ What are YOU proud of? I realize there is a fine line when it comes to pride in scripture. God hates pride when it’s directed toward self and we become our own center of worship.The pride I’m talking about today is a different type of boasting. How is it that you can tell when someone is proud? Proud people talk about the things that they are proud of. Often. We find it easy to talk about our favorite sports teams, our political views, our children and grandchildren, our spouses and even ourselves. We find camaraderie with those who pride themselves in similar things. Our voices become louder and louder when we are around others who share in that pride. So I want to ask you again, what are you proud of? Because others are watching. Does your pride come through in your praises, or in your opinions? Your pride reveals itself in the words that you speak. Your children hear it, your family hears it. Your friends and coworkers, your neighbors, even strangers hear it. What story is your pride telling? I am afraid that too often it’s a sad and angry story full of complaints and woes, and not a story of hope and redemption. Please don’t get me wrong~ it’s incredibly important to stand for what is right. To teach our families truths based on God’s word and to stand up for that truth. But do others know why we believe these things? What is the point of our stand? To prove we are right, or to praise our God and give Him the glory? Are we so focused on proving others are wrong that we’re missing the whole point of the gospel? We can become so focused on what we believe is evil that we miss out on opportunities to share all that is good and righteous and beautiful. The very person of Jesus our Savior and Redeemer. Our hope for the hopeless. Our amazing God. Our lives should revolve around Him and His goodness. Our praises and pride should be for Him and His gift of salvation. He took our place on the cross. He died for the wickedness of this world~ and my friend, that includes you and that includes me. No one is excluded. For all have sinned. If we don’t teach the next generation why we believe what we believe, if we don’t boast on the incredible love of our Savior and the gift of salvation that we did not deserve, our opinions and viewpoints will become just that. Opinions. Viewpoints. Voices becoming louder and louder. And the next generation will grow up believing that it is “us against the world” instead of~ “God so loved the world.” So today I want to tell you what I am proud of. I am proud of my God. I am proud of my Savior. I am proud of the love and mercy and grace He shows me on a daily basis, all of which I do not deserve. Love that isn’t based on my performance, mercy that doesn’t stop as soon as I mess up again, but love and mercy that endure FOREVER. I am proud of what the rainbow truly represents. The rainbow HE created as an everlasting promise to us. A rainbow that surrounds the very throne of it’s Creator. I am proud of His word and His promises, promises that hold peace that passes understanding. I am proud to call God my Provider and Redeemer, my Father and my very best Friend. I am proud to say that He is my everything. I would be nothing without Him. I am proud of Jesus. Name above all names. I want to share God’s truth and stand firm on my beliefs, beliefs that are rooted and grounded in scripture; but more than anything I want to make HIM known. That’s what I want the next generation to remember. Not me. Not my opinions. Jesus. God is our everything. Let’s brag differently. What are you proud of today? Psalm 89:1-2, 5-9, 11, 13-18 Psalm 136, 148, 150 I Peter 3:15-18, Hebrews 12:14 Revelation 4:3, Ezekiel 1:28
6/2/2023
What Story Will Your Pain Tell?This wasn’t the plan.
In an instant, life changed and I desperately wished I could hit the rewind button. But I couldn’t. This moment had the power to rewrite the rest of my story, and I could not see a happy ending. I suddenly felt like I was in a dream. Day by day, trying to survive but living in a fog. Walking in darkness. Alone. This would be my life, because I could not go back and change the events that happened. And I cried for the memory of what I thought my life would look like. Have you ever been here? In this moment? Perhaps you are right now. As my husband was typing his Bible study the other day, I couldn’t help but think about this. He finished his first page and in his tired state, he hit “no” when prompted to save his work. We aren’t tech savvy. This has happened to me before and I knew there was a solution, I just had to find it. I warned my husband not to touch any keys but he was somehow sure he could figure it out. And he kept trying. By the time I googled the answer, it was too late. His study was gone. How many times in my life has this happened to me? What I thought my life would look like, disappearing within seconds. And my heart left broken like an empty page staring back at me, the cursor hovering over nothingness. What do I do now? How often I have tried to figure it out in my own strength. Trying, trying but failing. Sadly, there have been moments that turned into years upon years of me trying and missing all God had for me. Crying way too often, because this wasn’t supposed to be my life. What do you do when the unexpected happens? When your life is turned upside down in a moment and you weren’t prepared for it at all. When the shocking trauma blindsides you, and there’s nothing you can do to change it? When this is your new normal and you are left with a blank piece of paper representing the rest of your life? I am here to tell you that I did all the wrong things. For years. I kept writing on that paper and erasing it and trying again. Over and over. Until the day I finally gave God the pen. Ladies, I know it’s not easy because I’ve been there. Trauma leaves scars. It’s hard. So very hard. But God is our God of the impossible. And my life felt like a happy ending was definitely impossible. So today, I want to encourage you with a few things I learned through it all. It’s okay to have all the emotions, but don’t camp out there. Bring them ALL to God. Too often we cry about how it isn’t fair. How we don’t deserve this pain or how we do deserve to feel all the negative that our hearts are experiencing. We sit there in that muck and tell ourselves that we have every right to be angry or sad, scared and hurt or even depressed. And then we’re stuck. Exactly where Satan wants us. And we don’t even realize that we are hurting ourselves day after day with these emotions we are justifying. We begin to write our own story on that blank piece of paper, but this is not the story God wants your pain to tell. These aren’t God’s words, they aren’t even our words and in those moments we don’t even recognize that they are Satan’s. His lies. We have handed him the pen. It would be so easy for me to just say Trust God. He’s in control. The end. But when the hard really hits you, you don’t know what trusting God looks like because you are human and you’re hurting. And it’s in those moments that we need God to remind us. He understands our emotions better than we do. Not only because He created them, but He also experienced them Himself. There will be days that you are angry and don’t want to read His words. There will be days when you’re hurting so badly that you can’t even whisper a prayer, and there will be good days when God is your lifeline and you know deep down that He’s got this. You know you can trust Him. So what does trusting God look like? It is all of us in our feebleness understanding that God truly is in control and we are not. We were never alone in the darkness. He was always with us and He always will be. It’s looking back at all His goodness and looking ahead to the goodness to come. He knew what was going to happen. He knew all the hurt and anger, fear and sadness you would feel. He knew and because He allowed it, we have His promise that it’s for our good and for His glory. Instead of asking why, ask God to open your eyes to the truth of that goodness. And in the mean time, I highly encourage you to write down every single emotion you are feeling. Those emotions could change daily, and daily you will need God’s perspective. Once you’ve written them down, do a word study of each one in scripture. Google works great for this, so does an old fashioned Bible commentary. Give God that pen and let Him fill that blank piece of paper. Ask Him to take each emotion you are feeling and wrap it in His promises. Once you have God’s words written down, read them to yourself over and over. God’s words are power. Let them shout over Satan’s lies. Each day is a new day toward a different narrative. You can choose to wallow in what happened and what could have been, or you can decide that you are going to live your best life. You can decide that Satan will not have the victory and that cursor hovering over all the nothingness will suddenly be moving across moments of time filled with promises of joy and new beginnings. I’m not going to lie, it will be hard but God knows the outcome. I can say with 100% certainty, it will be worth it because today I can finally look back and see God’s story and His goodness. When I chose to let go of every emotion and give them over to God, my happy ending wasn’t impossible because my God worked the impossible deep within me. His power changed everything. And He gets all the glory. What story will your pain tell? Hand Him your pen my friend. SCRIPTURE READING: Revelation 12:9 Hebrews 4:15, 11:1, 13:5 Romans 8:26, 28, 37-39 Proverbs 3:5-6 Psalm 23:4, 34:4, 73:26, 94:19, 139 Deuteronomy 3:18 Isaiah 55:8-9 Exodus 14:14 Nehemiah 8:10, Isaiah 41:10 Ephesians 3:20 Luke 1:37 Matthew 19:26 Philippians 3:13-14 Ecclesiastes 3:11 When my youngest daughter was only 5, we took our family swimming. Our beach is ideal for young families. You have to walk at least a hundred feet before the water gets deep enough to actually swim. It’s perfect for young ones to splash and play in.
On this particular day, Mike and I went out a little deeper as our kids played near the shore. Within a split second our lives could have drastically changed. We looked over to see our youngest bobbing up and down right next to the shoreline, an area where the depth of water doesn’t even reach my knees. How could this be? She was drowning. We never moved so quickly. Praise God, we got to her in time. Somehow right next to the shoreline there was a large hole that she had waded into. Later that night, after we were all in bed she came down to our bedroom and told us that if she had died she knew she would’ve gone to hell and she wanted to ask Jesus to save her right then. And we knew she knew. Even at such a young age, she understood sin. She understood she needed Jesus. There was no prompting. It was of her own free will. There are so many beautiful moments when you’re a mom, but there are also a lot of hard aspects too. From the moment they are born, if your child has been raised going to church and hearing the gospel, I think one of the hardest aspects for parents is concern for their child’s soul. I didn’t grow up knowing Christ. I grew up with religion and rules. I didn’t have an intimate relationship with Jesus until I was 12. It was different for my children. They grew up hearing about Jesus, their beautiful Savior, from day one. It was talked about often. And that’s where it gets hard. As a parent, you don’t want your child to make a decision just to please mom and dad; nor do you want them to make a decision because it’s what they’re taught, thinking it’s just what they’re supposed to do. You want their repentance and salvation to come out of a genuine heart that understands they’re a sinner that needs a Savior. Every child is different. Some just seem to grasp that at an early age and others don’t get it for a long time. And that’s when the worry sets in. Mamas KNOW when they’re child understands sin. It comes naturally to them (and us 😉). There’s no mistaking it. And then you begin to wonder, what if something happens to my child and they don’t know Jesus?? I also understand that heaven can be so alluring to a child. I mean, what kid wants to go to hell? That’s incredibly scary. At such a tender age of 5, I’m sure that was a scary thought for my daughter. There’s so many things young children don’t quite grasp when they’re little, but with age comes growth. Here’s the thing about God and His promises to us~ whether you are 5 or 95, you will always be growing in your walk with the Lord. Not once does He tell us that we have to understand the weight of every single thing the Bible teaches before we can accept His free gift of salvation. God simply tells us to have the faith of a child. Matthew 18:3-4, 2 Peter 3:9 So what is a parent or grandparent supposed to do? I’m not claiming to be an expert, far from it. But here are some things to keep in mind through your parenting journey as you introduce your children to Jesus. I pray that they can be an encouragement to you. 1. Pray for your children without ceasing. I Thessalonians 5:16-18 2. Talk about Jesus and His gift to us often. Ephesians 2:8, John 21:25 3. Make sure they understand that this isn’t religion, this is Jesus you are talking about. Their Father, their Savior and their very best Friend. 2 Corinthians 1:3, Philippians 3:10 4. I cannot stress this enough~ make Jesus real to your children!! Don’t just introduce them to your “way of life”, introduce them to the God of the Bible. The same Jesus who has radically changed your life. Make Him real to them by example. Titus 3:4-8 5. Don’t try to allure them with a “free ticket to heaven” speech. Salvation is so much more than that. Salvation is Jesus. Hebrews 2:9 6. Don’t use fear as a tactic for conversion. Jesus death on the cross had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with love. There is no fear in love. I John 4:18 7. Don’t pressure your child to make a decision or force them to say some “magic words” that they hope will get them into heaven. 8. Help them to understand that it isn’t the words they say as they pray, it’s a repentant heart that understands their sin and need of saving. Acts 3:19 9. Understand what it means in your own life to have the faith of a child, and then do just that. Have faith as a child. Don’t make salvation complicated in your mind, or in theirs. Believe what Jesus says in His word, that if we confess and we believe~ we will be saved. It’s as simple as that. Don’t add to it or make it hard. I John 1:9, Romans 10:9-10 10. And then pray some more. As a mama and grandma, you can never, ever pray too much for your children and grandchildren. Only God knows our hearts. Only God knows your child’s heart. Don’t try to work out their salvation for them. As hard as it is not to intervene and worry and nag, remember all power and mercy, love and forgiveness comes only from God. And always remember, God’s love for your children and His care for their souls is infinitely greater than your own. You do your part in being that example to your children and leave the rest with Him. Ephesians 3:16-21 I’m not sure what sparked the thought, but the other day it hit me that I may not be here to see my grandchildren get married and have children of their own. A sadness swept over me. My love for them is so strong. I have this immense desire to protect them and pray for them and be a part of their moments, good and bad. To rejoice with them and cheer them on. But this may not be my reality, and my emotions got the best of me. It’s probably silly, but the tears came.
I know Mother’s Day is past and the celebrations are over, but this mom and grandma still has so much on her heart to share. I probably always will. As I was reading all the celebratory quotes, one stuck with me and I’ve been pondering it ever since~ “Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.” Wow! That stopped me in my tracks. So mama, what message are we sending to the future? This thought went deep for me. There are just SO MANY!! To be honest, I wanted to be lazy and write a fluff piece for today but God gave me a nudge, just like He always does. It’s crazy how often I will read the daily devotional sent to my inbox and somehow my Scripture app just “happens” to be on the exact same Bible chapter that day. Today was such a case and as I worried about my children and my grandchildren’s futures, God literally spoke to me through His words. Words I would like to share with you today. I hope they encourage you like they did me. Psalms 90-94. Psalm 90:1&2~ Continually remind yourself that GOD is our dwelling place. Not this world, not our homes~ but God. He has been from generation to generation and know matter what the future holds, He will be from everlasting to everlasting. Psalm 90:12-17~ With this in mind, let these words be our prayer as we look to the future of our children and grandchildren~ God: *TEACH us to number our days and in the doing, gain wisdom. (Each day is another opportunity to mold our children and grandchildren. Don’t take it for granted and don’t squander it.) 90:12 *SATISFY us with your STEADFAST (loyal, unwavering) love. (This is the heartbeat of our joy and gladness.) 90:14 *MAKE us glad ALL our days. (Not just the good days, but the bad days too. Our emotions teach our children just as much as our words.) 90:15 *OPEN our eyes to see your works and show your power to our children. (We take so much for granted. God is continually blessing us and we need eyes to see and in turn, share that with the next generation.) 90:16 *ESTABLISH the work of our hands. (This should be our daily prayer. When God is the author of every single thing we do, He is glorified and His love shines from us to others. Our children will carry this prayer with them into the future, by witnessing it in our lives on a daily basis.) 90:17 Psalm 91:1-16~ *When we dwell in God’s presence we are protected under His shadow. He is our refuge and fortress and we can trust Him with everything. 91:1-2 In the trusting we will not fear the present or the future of our children and grandchildren, because we made God our dwelling place and held fast to Him in love. He will protect, rescue and satisfy us. No matter where we are, no matter where our children are, there is so much comfort in knowing that when we have God, we are always home. 91:3-16 Psalm 93:1-2~ And when we realize ALL of this, we will give thanks to God. We will sing praises. We will talk about His steadfast love and faithfulness morning and evening because we will realize He alone makes us glad and joyful and He alone (not us) will make our children and grandchildren glad and joyful. Psalm 93:3-5, 94:14&15~ As the floods of this present world roar against us and we fear the future for our children and grandchildren, we can KNOW that God is mightier and that **“The things that we’re afraid of are afraid of God!” We can trust Him. He will never forsake us or abandon us. Psalm 94:17-19~ If we didn’t have these promises we would be utterly distraught, but we have an entire book of God’s promises to cling to. His steadfast love holds us up. When the cares of our heart and the worries for our children’s futures are many, God’s consolations will cheer us. When we are no longer on this earth to cheer our children and grandchildren on, His consolations will continue to do so. Psalm 94:22~ He is our rock. He is our stronghold and He will forever be our children and our children’s children’s rock and stronghold. From everlasting to everlasting. I know this was long, and if you stuck with me to the end I hope it encouraged you. Sometimes mamas just need a reminder that ultimately we are not the ones to determine the happiness in our children’s future. We want to be their rock and fortress, we want to bring them joy and happiness and we can, but our love could never compare to the steadfast love God has for them and the best way to show them that is by example. An example we will leave with them long after we’re gone. **The Things That I’m Afraid Of Josh Wilson
5/12/2023
Twenty Years LaterThe end of 2002 and the year 2003 were incredibly hard on our little church. Five moms passed away in that short amount of time, including my sweet sister in law~ less than a week after giving birth to her 6th child, and my own precious mom. We didn’t have our usual Mother Daughter banquet at church that year. The grief was still so fresh.
I remember so many tears at that time. Reading all the quotes about grief getting easier with time and yet, here I am 20 years later, and it seems like yesterday to me. Year by year the grief has changed with me, along with my view of my mother. The older I get, the more I understand. And I miss her. It’s almost a daily occurrence for me to wish I could ask her a question, or share in that deep love I have for my grandchildren or just give her a hug. There were so many things I got irritated about when I was younger, when life got crazy and I needed her but she couldn’t come for one reason or another. I’m sad to admit that I never realized how much SHE needed me and now as each year passes, I understand more and more and I find myself crying for the young selfish girl I once was and whispering “I’m sorry mom.” Guilt and grief can often live side by side, but guilt is not the author of my words today. Love, and understanding that comes with age is. Your mom will never be perfect. Your mom will mess up, but.. Your mom loves you with her everything. She always will. She will never stop loving you. She won’t always be able to be the mama you remember as a child. She will wish with all her heart that she could be but… She will get older and she will need you just as much as you need her. And sadly, you won’t see it because in your eyes she is the mom of your yesterdays. The one who always took care of you. You are who you are because of who she was and who she is. Her spark lives inside of you. She raised you to be the strong woman you are. To accomplish “all the things” whether that’s school or a job or raising a family. And as you are accomplishing “all the things”, you won’t see mom with clear eyes until one day you’re her age and you’re watching your own children as they accomplish “all the things.” All the things she taught you. All the things you taught them. And you will wish for that time back when you could’ve said “I understand mom.” When you could’ve said “I’m not too busy for you.” When you could’ve said “how can I help?” When you could’ve said “thank you” more. When you could say “I love you” one more time. Mother’s Day is a good place to start, but it shouldn’t end there. A mom is a mom every single day, whether her child is a newborn, or a senior citizen. She is mom. Don’t wait until she’s gone to realize how much you took for granted. You may not get to spend another Mother’s Day with her. The grief still seems fresh, but in so many different ways than it did 20 years ago. Don’t hold on to the mess ups. Jesus doesn’t hold on to ours. Hold on to all the good. Ask God to open your eyes to that spark that lives inside you, to the woman she was and the woman she is. The mom who loves you with her everything. Don’t whisper wishes in the dark when she’s gone. Tell her today how much she means to you. Tell her thank you. Not just today, but everyday because one day your “everydays” will become a thing of the past. When was it the last?
The very last time your child crawled up into your lap to snuggle? The last time they reached for your hand? The last time you helped them get dressed? The last time they wanted to be with you, just to be with you? To talk about everything and nothing all at once? To lay their head on your shoulder or have you kiss their hurts away? I don’t think any of us mamas know when the last time will be, and then we realize that somehow at some point it was the last time, but our days transitioned into months and years and we missed it. Day by day everything seemed to be the same, until suddenly it wasn’t. We didn’t soak it in, because we thought we had more time. I watched my daughter last Sunday morning as she taught her boys a Sunday school lesson. I watched their faces light up with smiles when she was silly. I watched their wide little eyes as they listened intently to everything she said. In that moment, she was the most important person in their little worlds. I wanted to make her see it, right then. I wanted her to soak it all in. The beauty of this moment with her little men. Somehow I think she missed it. Not purposely, not because she’s a bad mother (she’s an amazing mother), but because this is her “everyday”. And it made me think of all the “everydays” that I took for granted. The years will pass and you will miss it mama. Through the teenage years, through the young adult years… you will miss those smiles, the snuggles, the talks and the kisses. Soak it in. Soak it all in. Don’t miss the beauty of your everyday. Purpose in your heart to truly cherish all the little things your days hold. Thank God for the blessings of raising our next generation before you lay your head down to sleep~ because the older they get, the less they will want to do all the everyday things. One day your little men will be grown men, and you will remember the days when they reached for your hand. You will wonder where the time went. Life will go on if the dishes aren’t washed, if the beds aren’t made, if the toys aren’t cleaned up. The same tasks will be there tomorrow, but today might be the last of the snuggles and kisses. God has given mamas the unique gift of turning ordinary tasks into beautiful memories. Memories made in the “everydays”. Baking treats together in the kitchen, forts made out of blankets and pillows in the bedroom, Lego villages and Barbie houses in the living room. Snuggles with mama on the couch, and kisses and prayers in the bedroom at night. Your babies will grow up. You will be so proud of them. You will love every phase of their lives. Your “everydays”will become different with each passing year. Oh, how you will realize these beautiful moments are a sweet gift God gives every day, moments you won’t take for granted because you now realize how quickly time passes. But you will also remember… Today is so important. So stop what you’re doing. Sit down on the couch with your child and just listen. Don’t think about all the tasks, truly listen. Because these are the “everydays”that dreams are made of. Precious everyday moments talking about everything and nothing all at once.
4/28/2023
DepressionDepression can sometimes feel like a dirty word to a believer.
A few weeks ago I got into my own head and once there, my thoughts spiraled downward. I have some physical problems that left me in a dark place. Nothing life threatening, but two unrelated, painful issues that will stay with me the rest of my life. And that really bothered me. Due to flare ups, I wasn’t physically able to do normal, day to day activities. I couldn’t leave the house for long periods of time or do easy household tasks. I couldn’t even do the things that I enjoy, like my sewing or simply playing with my grandkids. Slowly, day by day the darkness crept in. “Is this it, is this how it’s going to be from now on? What am I even good for? What if I’m never the same again?” I have this picture in my head of what I’m supposed to be as a Pastor’s wife, as a mom. I tend to over analyze my performance in these areas (which is a root of worry over what others think of me, and a sin I tend to battle) Satan knows this, and by the end of the week depression had made a home inside my head. I felt like a huge disappointment, worthless and unloved. All within 7 days. I had no other words and found myself just asking God to please help me over and over, not so much from the physical pain, but from where my thoughts had taken me. I stayed in His word, reminding myself of His goodness and blessings~ but even when we do these things, sometimes the “hard” is still very hard. By Sunday night the tears wouldn’t stop and decided I was going to stay in bed all day Monday because~what was the point of getting up anyway, right? But God didn’t leave me in bed. Even when I was 100% sure that my thoughts were real, He broke through and showed me a different picture. He always does. I have been here before. Times that lasted much longer than 7 days. Over and over again throughout my life, He has delivered me when I was sure there would be no deliverance. Did my pain and physical issues go away? No, but all that darkness in my head did. God used a simple text from someone going through their own darkness, a podcast that stumbled across my path, a song that could’ve been written for me… I listened to the words of someone else who had the same fears I did, who was saying exactly what I was feeling… “What if this was it? What if I’m never the same?” His words stayed with me and I asked myself, “Do you believe God is still good and that He loves you? Do you believe He knows exactly what’s going on and He is in control?” I believed and I whispered to God, “Help my unbelief.” What if my greatest calling now was simply to be my husband’s cheerleader from the sidelines? His prayer warrior and safe haven. That would be enough. Even if I could never leave the house for long periods of time, or pick up my grandchildren or pen a note of encouragement. Even if I couldn’t play the piano, sew or garden, run or simply hand my husband his dinner plate, I knew in that moment that God was still good. And that He loves me. And I suddenly felt freedom from all that blackness that had collected inside my head. It’s scary for me to even share this, to be vulnerable and honest. There is a stigma attached to Christian’s and depression. The thoughts can easily get to me again. Worry over appearing overly dramatic or attempting to seek attention. But I am clinging to that gift of freedom God has given me, because maybe it could help someone else who might be having dark thoughts of their own. God has not given up on you my friend. He is good. He loves you. He’s not going to let you stay in that bed of depression. He’s going to continuously use His words, His Spirit, people and things to pull you out from under the covers of despair. Because He understands. What a comfort and peace that brings! And then, the miraculous will happen. He will use you to help others. Your darkness and deliverance has purpose. He will use you to break through someone else’s darkness. He will use you to share His love. Your circumstances may never change, but there is freedom in releasing that to God, knowing He is good. Knowing He loves you. Knowing you can be used by Him. Suddenly you will no longer see the negative, but all the goodness wrapped up in the words~ YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.
4/20/2023
He Weeps With UsToday I am sharing a guest post written by my daughter in law Shannon on the topic of infertility. Our prayer is that it will help others who are going through this heartbreaking experience as well. Shannon gives us a beautiful look into her heart and pain, but also into the hope she has in Jesus.
He Weeps With Us By: Shannon Goforth April 23rd marks the beginning of National Infertility Awareness Week – a week I never thought would have any significance to me, let alone know it even existed. Infertility is a topic that is personal, vulnerable, and even intimidating to share, but it is something that I have been praying about for months. I feel like God has finally pressed on my heart to share my story. I never thought I would be that “one in eight.” You get married and dream of starting a family one day, but you never think it will be difficult. After struggling with infertility for almost five years, being told we have a 2% chance of having a child naturally isn’t what I imagined we’d hear. This devastating news was horrible and scary from the beginning. As we began to process and cope with our new reality, I began to read stories of other couples who had struggled in the same way. Hearing others’ miracle endings gave me hope. It made me feel less alone seeing how others could beautifully articulate the pain infertility brings. But what about still being in the middle of the waiting? Wondering if you’ll ever get your miracle at the end of your long journey… Infertility isn’t something many people talk about. The waiting is extremely difficult. It has been one of the loneliest, darkest valleys Michael and I have ever had to walk through together – and still are. Despite this being such a heartbreaking struggle to endure, it has also been an amazing season of refining in our marriage. God has used our infertility to strengthen our relationship in such a remarkable way. We’ve experienced an incredible closeness with each other that has been so beautiful. Michael has been an incredible comfort to me throughout this entire process, all while experiencing such deep pain of his own. I could not get through any of this without his constant encouragement. We’re in this together, and I love that. As we’ve slowly started sharing our story with others, I’ve been blown away with how many women have reached out to me and shared that they’ve silently struggled with infertility as well. This is ultimately why I’m sharing this uncomfortable topic: to help even one person know they’re not alone in their journey, as I thought I was for so long. Being able to open up and share your story, then having an army of people praying behind you in response is so worth it, but I know that doesn’t make it easy. I want to share some truths that have comforted me while walking through this difficult journey. I pray these reminders can be an encouragement to anyone who is in a valley reading this — something you can turn back to and reference in Scripture when you are in your darkest moments. There’s a well-known story in the Bible that comes from John 11. Mary and Martha are grieving over the death of their brother, Lazarus. Even though Jesus knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead, He still looked at the tears of those around Him and was so gripped by their pain that Jesus, the God of the Universe, wept. From this passage in Scripture, we learn that God doesn’t just see our tears, He weeps alongside of us. This has been an amazing reminder to me that Jesus is always near. He sees me when I’m questioning His goodness and asking how any good could come from this. In the darkest moments when the enemy tries to get in my head and convince me that God has forgotten about me, I can look back on all His faithfulness in my life and know that’s the farthest thing from the truth! He is near. He is weeping with us in our pain. Not only that, but Jesus understands our pain more than we ever will. While Jesus is fully God, He is also fully man. He felt the pain that sin brings. He went to the cross for us on our behalf and felt the agony of pain leading up to that dark day. In Luke 22 He says to the Father “If you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done.” This passage goes on to say that He was in such agony over the cross and prayed so earnestly that His sweat became drops of blood. Can you imagine that pain? When I’m tempted to feel as though Jesus doesn’t understand my deepest pain, I’m reminded of this incredible truth. Not only does He walk alongside me through this, but He weeps with me and knows the pain I’m enduring. I would never choose to endure this pain of infertility, but the intimacy I’ve felt with the Lord and this beautiful realization He’s taught me during our devastating season has made it worth it. Had I not chosen to lean into Him a year ago during some of my darkest moments, this isn’t something I ever would’ve been able to say. God is still writing our story. Even though I don’t know what the future holds, I know He has a better ending for us than we could ever imagine. If you are currently walking this painful road of infertility, just know I see you and you’re not alone. More importantly, God sees you and weeps alongside you.
4/14/2023
My Baby Is Having A BabyMy baby is having her first baby.
There’s such a distinction between your oldest baby’s first pregnancy and your last baby’s first pregnancy. Each carries a myriad of emotions specific to them. As with all your children, so many unique memories are wrapped up in your last. I remember her little face. I recall listening to her babble as a toddler, smiling and wondering what it would be like to have a conversation with her as an adult someday. I remember crying on her first day of kindergarten and then I blinked, and I was sobbing on her last day of high school. Each step marking the end of a chapter full of “firsts”, but also “lasts”. Moving and college hundreds of miles from home, marriage and her first house. And now a baby. My last baby is having a baby. She loved to stay home with her dad and I more than going out with her friends. She went to bed before it was even dark sometimes. She wasn’t one to play with baby dolls and Barbies but preferred snakes, mice, lizards and turtles. She is beautiful and unique and she fell in love with a man who understands her crazy better than anyone else. And this July, my baby will have a baby. I honestly tear up at the thought. It is almost too hard to wrap my mind around. Even though I had already had all four of my children by the time I was her age, in my eyes and heart she’s still my baby. Time flies by so fast, yet never so fast that it erases the fact that they will always be your babies. Sometimes I want to go back just for a moment. I want to look into her little face. I want to hear her baby babble and hold her close to my heart as I sing soft lullabies to her. But then I would miss out on all the beautiful moments in between, especially living the reality of experiencing all the happy, sad or silly adult conversations with one of my best friends. That’s what our children become as adults, our best friends. Whatever firsts you are going through today with your own baby~their first kindergarten graduation or their high school graduation. Your baby leaving for college in a few short months or saying “I do”, or your baby having her own baby~ each comes wrapped with emotions that are almost too hard to contain. Don’t feel bad for the tears mama. Embrace them. Take each wrapped up moment and tuck it away in your heart and every now and then, open it up and remember. Not with sadness or longing, but with joy at how God has blessed you with such a beautiful gift. The gift of being a mama to some amazing children. And then with equal joy, look ahead to the gifts that are to come. Gifts upon gifts upon gifts yet to open. My baby is having a baby. A double portion of God’s blessing. My daughter will soon experience that joy at receiving such a gift from the Lord. The gift called motherhood. She will truly understand how deeply she is loved when she looks upon the little face of her own sweet baby for the first time. And that in turn will become a bond that we both will share. The mama tears will flow, but they won’t always be sad. There’s so much excitement and “firsts” still ahead and when you’re a mama~ you get to open that gift every moment of every day. My baby is having a baby.
4/7/2023
Don’t Lose HopeCan you imagine being the very first person that got to walk into Paradise with Jesus immediately after His crucifixion? I weep at the thought. I can almost picture it, the two of them entering Heaven’s glory. The thief weeping and laughing as Jesus smiles and hugs him. What hope this story gives to us all! A hope of redemption. A hope of new life when all seems lost.
Hope has been the theme of my story since I started this blog. Today I am here to remind you~ Don’t give up hope. Not on a child who has gone astray, not on a loved one who you’ve prayed desperately for, and not on yourself. There are so many lessons from the story of the thief on the cross. The account is only mentioned in one gospel, but the message has a huge impact. The thief did nothing to deserve forgiveness. The thief did nothing to merit him walking into eternal paradise with Jesus. He simply believed. As the scene unfolds, I can see Mary the mother of Jesus weeping at the foot of the cross, but I also wonder about the mother of the thief. Was she there as well? Was she weeping for her son? Was his wife there, or perhaps his sister? Prayers seemed unanswered for the son, the husband, the brother. There had been no repentance. He was being crucified. All seemed lost. This was the end. But it wasn’t. With his last breath he saw his sinfulness. He understood Who Jesus truly was and He understood that only Jesus, the Son of God could forgive his trespasses and take him to heaven. Hope was not lost. Jesus did not give up on that thief. Through horrifying agony and pain, He loved unconditionally. He gave mercy and grace. He forgave. As He took upon Himself the sins of all mankind, the agony and pain He endured were for that thief. They were for your son or daughter, and for your spouse. They were for your brother or sister and they were for you. Whatever situation you find yourself in, keep bringing it to Jesus. Your health. Your marriage. Your spouse. Your children. Your finances. Your past, your present or your future. There is always hope at the foot of the cross. Walk into Easter simply believing that because of Jesus there is hope with every breath you take. Walk into Easter holding on to that hope. Walk into Easter holding on to the thief’s redemptive story. Walk into Easter holding on to Jesus, the Son of God Who gave Himself for you. SCRIPTURE READING: I John 5:13-15 Luke 23:39-43 Psalm 16:8-9, 31:24, 71:14, 112:6-7 Romans 8:37, 12:12, 15:13 I Corinthians 13:7 Philippians 1:6, 4:6 Isaiah 41:10 2 Peter 3:8-9 Luke 1:37 Proverbs 3:5-6 Hebrews 12:2-3 Ephesians 6:10 Titus 2:13
3/31/2023
A Man’s ManAs I post this, we are traveling home from our family vacation. We had been so excited for this vacation together, counting down the days until we finally arrived. My kids, spouses and grandchildren all staying together in a beautiful house right on the ocean.
Three days after our arrival, the entire family came down with the worst stomach flu I’ve ever encountered. Mike and I, and my daughter in law Shannon were the only ones who avoided the “plague”. Parents were too sick to take care of sick kids. This mama was desperate for healing for my family. And then, the day we thought the worst was over and everyone might actually sleep through the night, we were awakened at 4am by startling alarms on all our phones. A tornado warning. Winds were shaking the house and lightning was flashing across the ocean, lighting up the entire sky. And in the midst of that storm, not wanting to disturb incredibly sick kids, my husband stood out on the balcony watching for imminent danger so that he could protect his family. Knowing he was out there watching somehow made me feel safer inside. Many of our adult children were awake and asking what we should do. Could my husband prevent a tornado from hitting us? Absolutely not. But he could calm the storms inside our anxious hearts by watching the ocean for the danger that might be coming. My husband has a way of doing that. There’s a strength about him. He’s the one you can always count on. Always. This seemed to be the perfect illustration of the strength that God gives us during the storms in our life. The protection that only He can give. The comfort and peace among the raging winds that beat us down and the calming faith against potential danger. Oh, how true all of this is. Grab on to that truth. But there’s another bit of biblical advice that I want you to grab a hold of today. Find a man who gives you strength. Pray for a man who makes you feel protected. Someone who doesn’t run from danger or difficult situations, but protects you from them. A man’s man. Sadly that’s something that’s almost unheard of in todays society. Is it even politically correct to say that nowadays? A man’s man? Not a man who embraces his femininity over his responsibility, (although there’s nothing wrong with your man having a tender side, and shedding tears over things that move him) but a man who embodies what scripture tells us to look for in a good husband. A man who loves you like Christ loves the church and gave Himself for it. The world is constantly shouting at women that we don’t need a man, that we can do anything that men can do. Well, I’m over here waving my arms and shouting back! I do need my man and I’m not ashamed to admit that. My husband isn’t perfect. He doesn’t excel when it comes to romance or empathy. We’ve gone through some very hard storms that I wasn’t sure we’d get through. Through those storms I have found comfort in the fact that he is continually going to the One Who is his ultimate example and asking Him for help in loving me better. He continually tries to be a better man. And in doing that, I feel safer. I feel protected and I desire to pray for him even more. Let me tell you ladies, if you are single, that’s the kind of man you should pray for; and if you’re married but your marriage is struggling, that’s also the kind of man you should pray for. There is power in the prayers of a wife. Don’t ever stop praying. Don’t ever give up. Remember last weeks post? Nothing is impossible with God. He can change any situation for your good and His glory. And if you have a man like mine~ a real man’s man~ grab him and kiss him and thank him right now. Praise God that he has given you such a treasure. A man who stands against raging storms in order to protect you. A man who will love you and give himself for you, just like Christ. SCRIPTURE READING: Philippians 3:12 Ephesians 5:25 Luke 1:37 Matthew 19:26 James 5:16-18
3/24/2023
Change Lives In MeThere are certain things I’ve been struggling with lately. I am ashamed to admit that my perception of people has been a big one. Just this morning I realized how completely messed up my perception is.
I can “preach” on this platform about how “God can change your life” and how “you don’t have to remain the same once you know Christ, because His power lives in you”, and yet… This morning I had a conversation with myself that sort of went like this~ ‘What are you supposed to do Charisse? Past circumstances have led you here. Trauma that sucked the life out of you and left you weak. You can’t help it that you feel this way. The situation is hopeless. It is what it is. Just accept it and live with it.’ Immediately I was convicted. Nothing is hopeless with God. No past circumstances or feelings I might have are stronger than the power of God in me. He can change anything and anyone. And here’s the shocker~ the change starts with me, not with the person I am perceiving to be in the wrong. If I build up walls and raise the white flag of defeat on relationships in my life, I do not know the love of Christ at all, because He did the opposite. He loved the very unlovable. And despite past circumstances in His life~ He continues to love the unlovable… and I am at the top of that list. Do you know why I felt that immediate conviction this morning? Because Jesus lives in me. The Holy Spirit lives in me. God’s love lives in me. And because of all of this… Change lives in me. I thought darkness had a permanent dwelling in my heart, and the perceptions I had were truly hopeless situations. But I was wrong. The past is the past. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. The same power that raised Jesus from the grave is THE POWER that lives in me. And today that light has permeated the darkest recesses of my heart, because I know that Every day is a new day with Jesus and… Nothing, absolutely nothing is impossible with God. SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 51:6, 55:18 Proverbs 19:21, 21:2 Malachi 3:6 Hebrews 13:8 Luke 1:37 Matthew 19:26
3/17/2023
I Want To Watch It FlyWhen I was in the 4th grade, my parents bought an old farmhouse that sat on 12 acres of property, property that was surrounded by endless horizons of beautiful land. We affectionately called it “The Farm”, and I loved it. When I recall that time, my heart feels free. My imagination could soar there. I could run in all the beautiful openness of the unknown, and feel as if I was flying.
But then, my parents split up. My world was turned upside down. That freedom was quickly taken away and replaced with the chaos of things that I could not control. Praise the Lord that He continually pursues us. Through all that heartache and pain, we came to know Him. My parents got back together and purchased a new home, away from the painful memories of the past. This home was so very different. It was a cookie cutter house located only a few feet away from all the other houses that looked exactly like it~ in the middle of a subdivision full of similar houses. House upon house. No freedom. No flying. But for some reason, my heart took comfort in the familiarity of it all. All the past chaos was outside that perfect little suburb. I was safe in this new, controlled setting. And my journey of familiarity and control began. At that time in my life, my flesh associated the comfort of my parents being reunited with my controlled situation, when all along it was Jesus. Jesus is what changed our lives. Not the cookie cutter house, in the cookie cutter subdivision. I have found that almost 50 years later, I still look for comfort in familiarity, in everything being predictable. In control. In planning. In a cookie cutter life. It occurred to me today that a large part of that process has to do with fear. If I write it down and accomplish it, if I plan, if I have control, I don’t have to fear. Life will be predictable, and I find comfort in predictability. But not in God. But then when life hits me with a curve ball, suddenly all my comfort is whisked away and I’m afraid. I’m afraid of the future and what that looks like for my marriage, for my kids, for my church, for my blog. I’m afraid of the opinions of others. I’m afraid I won’t accomplish what needs to be done. I’m afraid of pain and heartache. I’m afraid of the unknown. Circumstances can hold us hostage to the fear of the unknown. My anxiety over that unknown can become so strong that my control seems lost. Inside that anxiety I am paralyzed. I don’t long to be placed in my cookie cutter house in a subdivision. I long to run away and fly. I long to just be free… and it’s there in that moment that God teaches me again and again that freedom and comfort only come from God. Not from all my control. Slowly, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I learn to put my trust in Him. Sometimes daily, sometimes minute by minute. It’s something that only He can provide. A comfort that only comes in trusting Him, and not in my own control. And suddenly in that trusting, when life throws me another curve ball~ the unimaginable happens. I have peace. I am free from the bondage of my fear of the unknown because I know that HE knows. And everything God allows in my life is for my good. You can have freedom from whatever might have happened in your past that makes you want to hide within the cookie cutter walls of your control. You can have freedom from the fear of the unknown. When life throws you a curve ball, you have one of two choices. Remain paralyzed with fear and anxiety; or catch it and throw it back. Throw it back towards endless horizons of beauty, and watch it fly. Feeling the freedom of complete trust, having no idea where it will land but knowing that God will catch it. His goodness is written all over it. Today and tomorrow and every day ahead, I want to watch it fly. SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 11:1, 27:5, 51:12, 55:5-8&18 , 61:1-4, 90:9-10, 12, 14, 17, 139:9-10 Proverbs 14:12-13 Isaiah 40:28-31 Acts 2:25-28 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 I Peter 5:7 I could hear her little voice as they entered the bathroom, and I chuckled to myself. “It’s messy in here mommy!” She continued to babble about her little brother, the stall, the toilet paper, and the changing table. As I washed my hands I think I heard the words “don’t touch that” a dozen times.
I remember those days, but not with disdain. With longing. In that moment in the Meijer bathroom, my heart had an incredibly deep, unexplainable yearning for one more moment like that. One more moment just to hear my daughter’s childhood voice talking to me about everything her little mind could think of. I don’t know why there are times that that longing grabs a hold of my heart so fiercely. Some days I miss it all so much. The giggles upstairs and the reprimands to “go to sleep!!” The toys all over the house. The forts built under the piano. The laundry EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. The constant “I’m hungry”. All the talks. The fun conversations, but also the hard ones. The “talks” about changing bodies and crushes and heart breaks. Talks about mean kids at school, but the reassurance of the forever love of mom and dad. And Jesus. A deep love from Jesus that is not fickle like the friendships of adolescents. Yes, some days I yearn for it all. I yearn to hear my little girl babbling in the bathroom as I try to change her sister’s diaper. Maybe it’s the remembrance of unconditional love looking up at me through the wide eyes of naive innocence. Mommy could fix everything and do no wrong. Or, maybe it’s because at times~as hard as motherhood seemed to me back then~I can now look back and realize that in those moments, life for my children was so much easier. I long to fix everything for my adult children just by saying the words “I love you” and with a simple smile and a hug, watch their life become beautiful again. When our children were little they could bounce back and in a moment, life goes back to being care free. But the older our children get and the more time that passes, the more mom realizes that at times life can be very cruel for the ones we love more than anything in this world. And that’s when the hard truly hits. So today I remind myself of the talks. The talks about the love of mom and dad, but more importantly of Jesus. Today I want to remind my adult children of that love. The incredible, deep love I have for them, but more than anything~Jesus. A friend Who sticks closer than a brother, even closer than mom and dad. Jesus, Who literally loves with His everything. Jesus, Whose heart yearns for carefree moments for my children even more than my own heart yearns for it. That’s a fierce yearning. That’s a love deeper than I can imagine. As much as I long to hear that babbling again, Jesus wants to hear it from our children too. He wants to hear ALL the babbling. He wants to hear our children talk to Him about every single thing their minds can think of. And He wants to hear it from me as well. He wants me to tell Him all about it. So today, I did. Today I babbled on and on with Jesus. I told Him all about it. I cried. I laughed. I asked silly questions. And in that moment, just like a child who feels deeply loved~ Life became carefree again. SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 37:25, 42:4-5&11, 51:12, 62:8, 142:1-2, Isaiah 49:15, 66:13 Philippians 4:6-8 John 8:36 Galatians 5:1
3/3/2023
God Never Gives Up On His KidsMy daughter Andrea has always loved fairytales. She was in the 9th grade when the words “Once Upon A Time” began her own fairytale journey.
I watched her the other night. I had come to babysit. It was a rare and beautiful moment. The sun was shining, so she said she wanted to take advantage of the sunshine and walk to church. I stood in the doorway of the very home she used to dream about owning one day. She’s 34 years old, but somehow I thought I could protect her if I just made sure she made it to church ok. Our home and church are visible from her front door. The home she grew up in. And then I watched her husband. He was giving instructions to the boys and running a bit behind, so he decided to take the car. He slowly drove up to her as she walked. I could see her laughing. Her hand rested on his open window as his car crept along side her the rest of the way. In that moment my mind was transported back 20 years to that 9th grade girl and her crush, as she walked home from school and he pulled up along side her in his royal blue Ford Escort ZX2. He had cut off the tail pipe to replace it with a “cooler” tip, and the car had a sticker on it that said “Xtreme Racing”. To top it off, he installed blue lights, lights that caused our local police to pull him over (on more than one occasion). Many rules were enforced during her high school years. To be honest, I was scared. I had all these dreams for her future, and I knew how quickly one bad decision could change the course of her entire life. I was scared because I didn’t put enough faith in the power of the Holy Spirit. In the power of Jesus and prayer. In the sovereignty and providence of God. That 9th grade crush became her Knight in shining armor. A man I am so proud of. God has worked miracles in his life. A life once headed in the wrong direction. A heart changed by the gift of Jesus’ death on the cross and His complete grace, forgiveness and transformation. Mamas, this mama never prayed so hard. But my daughter’s fairy tale wasn’t a result of me, it was a result of Jesus. Too often parents try to control every aspect of their child’s life~ “Stay close to home when you go to college. Don’t move too far away. Marry a man that will keep you financially secure, or a women that doesn’t pose a threat to mama.”~ Don’t get me wrong, parents should have a say in every area of their child’s life, and in turn their children should honor and respect them. What I am trying to say is, yes we as parents have a tremendous responsibility and influence on our children, but we are not God. We are not the Holy Spirit, and there will come a time that we need to hand those children over to God and trust that He knows what is best for them. Mike Francavilla was best for my Andrea. Joey was best for my Jessica, Shannon was best for my Michael and Josh was best for my Kat. And the older I get, and the more I observe, and the more I relinquish my desire to control their futures and hand that over to God, the more I see fairytales unfold in their lives. Fairytales that only God could write. Fairytales with God’s “Happily Ever After” written all over them. I realize this isn’t always the case~ When it seems like unwise decisions have been made and our children’s path appears to be going in the wrong direction, remember that God never gives up on His kids, or ours. I know you might be scared mama, but I also know that no matter what situation your child is in, God can rewrite their story. As a mother I will always have a strong desire to protect my babies, but the more time that passes, the more I realize that the best way I can protect them is to give them to God. Every single day. Continually encourage them in His word. Love them with my everything and never, ever stop praying for them… I closed the front door and smiled down at her youngest as he gazed up at me. Tears of joy filled my eyes. I could write a book about her fairytale life and the hand of God upon it. As much as she realizes this now, one day she will realize it so much more as she watches God pen the words to her own children’s fairytales. Today I will savor this chapter and pray for the chapters ahead. The generations and books yet to be written with God’s “Happily Ever After” written all over them. “This is the LORD's doing; It is marvellous in our eyes.” Psalm 118:23 SCRIPTURE READING: Romans 8:27-28, 31-32 I Thessalonians 5:16-18 Philippians 1:6, 4:5-7 Proverbs 3:5-6 Matthew 19:26 Mark 10:27 Luke 18:27 James 5:16b Hebrews 13:5b I Corinthians 5:17 Ezekiel 36:26 I can remember getting my first biopsy. Watching the needle go in on the screen. Holding my breath. So many emotions wrapped up in such a small amount of time.
As I look back over my life, countless moments were held captive by two words. ”What if”. My todays were taken away by worry over my tomorrows. Always wondering what would be on the other side of this mountain of “what ifs”. Somehow believing every worst case scenario and sometimes living through them. Maybe hope was lost. And in that believing~denying Christ power by giving up and giving in. Not only allowing the devil to believe he had won, but believing that lie myself. Recently I have pondered Christ sacrifice on the cross for me. I have thought about that dreadful day when all hope truly seemed lost. I have wondered about all the emotions his disciples were feeling~ so many emotions wrapped up in this moment. This wasn’t supposed to be the end. How could this be? Can you imagine their discouragement? All the incredibly powerful miracles they had witnessed and yet, it appeared death had won. Satan had won. Pretty sure that’s exactly what the devil believed too. But Jesus’ followers did not know what was coming. Neither did the devil. When it comes to scripture, at times I think we tend to take the outcome of mountain moving stories for granted. The faith isn’t spectacular to us because we know how the story ends. But when faced against our own mountains, the “what ifs” overwhelm us and we convince ourselves that we won’t be able to get over them to the other side. Let me remind you today of your beautiful reality~Satan doesn’t know what’s on the other side of your mountain anymore than you do because unlike God, Satan is not omniscient. He is not all knowing. He doesn’t hold your future, God does. There is so much power in that statement. Take heart in the fact that the very men who LITERALLY walked with God on this earth~those handpicked and chosen by Christ~ went through discouragement as they faced a mountain they thought was unclimbable. Even more comforting is the fact that Jesus~being all God yet all human~asked His Father if there was any way possible to avoid the overwhelming sorrow that was upon Him. He knew the deep love He had for His followers, and the heartbreaking emotions and confusion they would be faced with. He knew the mocking, the beating and the physical agony that was coming. He knew that He would be taking the sins of all mankind upon Himself. Jesus knew what was on the other side of that mountain He was facing, yet in that moment, He poured out His heart to God. Jesus understands completely what you are going through. We might say we trust God. We might even believe we have mountain moving faith, but that doesn’t mean the trials we go through will be easy. Trials that can overwhelm us. “What ifs” that can loom heavy over our souls. Don’t focus on this idea that the devil knows the end of your story and that he has already won. Instead, focus on the fact that only God knows what’s on the other side. On that side of the mountain is the irrefutable reality that the same Jesus Christ who defeated death and once again walked with His awestruck, astonished disciples upon this earth, is the same Jesus who is alive today~ daily making intercession on our behalf. He is the victor of every “what if” mountain we face. And that side of the mountain? It’s always good. Always. Because God told us so in His word. There is no “what if” scenario that God doesn’t have an answer for. There is no “what if” scenario that God will not provide comfort for. There is no “what if” scenario that God doesn’t give peace to face and weapons to fight. There is no mountain you will ever climb alone. SCRIPTURE READING: Matthew 17:20, 26:37-39, 28 Isaiah 51:12, 52:7, 54:10, 55:12 Mark 11:23, 14:33-36, 16 Psalm 90:2 Luke 22:41-44, 24 Romans 8:34 I John 2:1 Hebrews 7:25 Revelation 1:5,18 I Corinthians 15:19-23, 56-57 Philippians 2:10-12, 4:7 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, 10:4 John 14:18
2/17/2023
So Today, I Talked To God About You.Last January as I was taking down my Christmas decorations, I decided to put my 7 foot Christmas tree away all by myself. My husband wasn’t home that night, but I didn’t want to wait. I found the perfect shelf for it out in our garage, all I had to do was haul it out there and hoist it up on to that shelf.
The shelf was much higher than my head. I was sure I could do it with a ladder and a little gumption. I set the tree bag upright and then climbed the ladder, grabbed the tree and pulled. It was very heavy and awkward, but I managed to get it over my head. That’s when I got stuck. It was too heavy to hoist above my shoulders and onto the shelf, and I began to lose my balance. I couldn’t put it down because if I moved, my balance would be off and I would fall backwards. I didn’t want to risk just dropping it and somehow breaking it. So I stood there on that ladder, holding on to that tree as it balanced on top of my head. My spine began to feel like an accordion, I was all alone, I didn’t have my cell phone and my husband wouldn’t be home for two more hours. I don’t know how much time went by, or how many ideas and scenarios went through my head. (My husband coming home to me lying on the garage floor under a Christmas tree~probably dead~was one of them.) So, how did I get out of it? I think somehow God miraculously helped me because when I didn’t think there was any possible answer for the situation I found myself in, I prayed. Why is it so often our last resort? Maybe I felt like it was hopeless. Perhaps I felt foolish going to God about the stupid mess I got myself into~ thinking I could do it all on my own~ but just like that, He answered. He gave me an idea, I tried it and within minutes that tree was on that shelf. It seems to me, in my own life I can catch myself doing this same thing. So many loved ones and friends have been going through heartache and it’s a heavy, heavy burden. Add social media to the mix and the barrage of bad news on a daily basis, and you can feel like the weight of it is too much. With friends on Facebook and Instagram and instant access to requests for prayer, often you close your computer feeling utterly heartbroken over the trials many are going through. And you feel helpless. I find myself wishing I could make their pain go away or that I could physically do something, anything to make them feel better. The suffering of loved ones and friends is a constant weight inside my mind. Even as I prayed about what to write to you today, I felt helpless. I asked God how I could help those of you who are reading this, how I could encourage and uplift to make other’s lives a little better. And then I opened His word, and I knew He heard my prayer. He showed me that I can’t fix everyone’s pain. I am not the answer because I am not God. Suddenly I found myself picturing the hundreds of hurting friends, loved ones and acquaintances. And Jesus. Just like the hundreds begging for help in Jesus day. It was never too many. He did not turn any away. Long lines, throngs of people pressing in. And the beautiful compassion of Jesus. And He whispered to my heart~ “Bring them to me. Don’t carry that heavy burden on your shoulders, I will carry it for you, all you need do is bring them to me.” And so, I have. Every time my heart feels heavy and helpless for the needs of many, I bring those needs to Jesus. It might seem like such a small thing, praying for the needs of others when you wish you could physically do something for them, but my friend~ it’s the most powerful gift you can give them. The compassion of Jesus. Maybe you’re trying to fix things on your own, not wanting to wait for help. Maybe your burden is for the heartache of others. Maybe your burden is for your own heartache or maybe you’re just trying to balance life’s ladder, holding all of your baggage and ashamed of the messes you’ve gotten yourself into. There is not one burden we’re meant to carry alone. There is not one burden that is hopeless. As much as I wish I could, there are no fancy words I could pen to magically make everything better, but the needs of many are not meant to rest on my shoulders. When we continue to worry, to think of every worst case scenario, to feel like the situation is hopeless and help is far away, we will end up flat on our backs under the weight of it all, just like I almost did with that tree. God wants us to hand it to Him and trust that He will take care of it. So today, I talked to God about you. He took you. He lifted you up. He set you up on a high place, under the shadow of His wings. A place of peace, where the weight of the world becomes weightless. And I know~ There is no better place for my friend to be. SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 3:3, 28:7, 31:24, 34:17-18, 40:2-4, 61:2, 91:14, 121, 145:18 Ecclesiastes 4:10 Numbers 6:24-26 Matthew 9:36, 11:28-30, 19:26 I Peter 5:7 Isaiah 41:13 Jeremiah 31:25 Philippians 4:6-7
2/10/2023
Forgive And ForgetI had been hurt deeply. Again.
And not by a stranger or acquaintance, but a very close friend. And I was tired. I know this is awful, but I was tired of forgiving. I was tired of having to be the strong one. I didn’t want to fight for this friendship anymore. I’m ashamed to say that I allowed the hurt to keep me from God’s word and prayer. It wasn’t because I was blaming God, or even angry at God. It was because I was grappling with my feelings. This was a friendship that made forgetting and moving on nearly impossible. It was close, and the hurt was deep. I lost my trust in this friendship. I didn’t know how to move past the pain. I was stuck. I concluded that I was not bitter, but I was angry. Angry at sin. I was angry that this continued to happen to me. I got stepped on. I continually got my hopes up that this time things would be different. I got disappointed. Again. And I questioned why. Why me? The overthinking, people pleasing, insecure girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. I believe God answered me, but I didn’t want to listen. The Holy Spirit got a hold of all those grappling feelings that I couldn’t put into words. I felt a whisper tug at my heart. “I chose you because this child of mine needs YOUR help.“ I argued~ I am not strong. I am weak. So weak. I didn’t want to help. I wanted to be the one who could lean on someone else for a change. I wanted to be the one taken care of, not the one taking care of everyone else. I’m sure my emotions were dictating the response of my heart. It’s easy to tell others to love and forgive just like Jesus, until you are the one who has been crushed. My heart screamed that I was done fighting, but God’s Spirit convicted me and drowned out all my arguments. My lack of time in God’s word did not phase Him, because His words are alive and powerful. Scripture overwhelmed my soul~ I can do all things through Him, because HE LOVES ME. He will NEVER hurt me. He will NEVER disappoint. Instead, He will strengthen. I wouldn’t be alone. I didn’t have to be strong, because I could lean on Him and His strength is always enough. The power of Christ rests upon me and when I am weak, I am strong. He will take care of me and in turn, I can encourage a soul. A soul deeply loved by God. I can fall to my knees and bring them before God’s throne of grace. That grace. That grace that He bestows on me every single time I fail Him. Again and again. Sometimes it is a daily battle. A battle that almost seems impossible. But I surrender because I know, God is fighting for me in this battle for love. And His love meets our deepest need through any disappointment or defeat. “And in that love is the energy for faith and the very sap of hope.” Scripture Reading: Romans 8:26 Matthew 8:22 Hebrews 4:12 Philippians 4:13 I John 4 Proverbs 17:17 Ephesians 6:18 I Corinthians 15:10 II Corinthians 12:9 |
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