I barely came up for air when another wave crashed down upon me.
There had been a respite. I felt His peace, and relief swept over me. Trials seemed to be eased, and prayers answered. Until this week.
It wasn’t a horrible diagnosis, a job loss or a death. It was a small attack of satan in the middle of the night as I slept peacefully, completely unaware.
For the second time in a week, my Facebook account was hacked. Not only was it hacked, but the person posing as me posted evil pictures on my page, and in a chat. I woke up to a notification on my phone. Facebook told me I had violated their policies and I was locked out. I was sick inside. I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t even defend myself. I couldn’t tell any of you, or ask for prayer.
I felt so confused inside. Was this Satan attacking me, or God trying to teach me something?
I prayed all day. I also tried to refute the issue, and somehow defend myself in order to get control back of my page. But at the end of the day, my weary heart realized it wasn’t in my control at all. It actually never was.
And honestly, Meta may think they have control, but God has the final say.
So I had to ask myself~ do I have enough faith to trust Him through this? What if Holding Hope disappeared? What if 12,000 followers became 1 and I had to start all over? What if I couldn’t use this platform to reach others again? What if God was saying “no” to me, would that be ok? What if the “busy” things I was complaining about in my heart last week were my reality this week?
I am not questioning God. I am asking Him for discernment and wisdom to know why this is happening. I am checking my own heart for sin. I am asking God to overcome the wicked one, and the darkness that seemed to have won.
It’s incredibly hard for me to be able to read the comments on my posts, comments asking for prayer or saying things are hard right now~and I am unable to respond. I am unable to encourage.
But, encouragement won’t end with me. If my page were to end today, God is faithful. He will send others to those in need of encouragement. I am reminded of my words from last week again. I am not God. God will be God, with or without me, and He will get the glory.
Satan may have attacked, but God has taught me so much in just a few short days. He is my light in the darkness. His light will continue to shine and He will prevail.
And if I am able, that is the message I want to leave with you. Whatever you are facing today, continue to pray through it. That is literally all I can do right now. Continue to check your own heart. Continue to ask God for wisdom and discernment. Continue to fight that darkness with Jesus’ light.
Even if you were falsely accused. Even if you can’t defend yourself. Even if you feel all is lost. Even when it looks like Satan has won and the winds and waves are just too much to bear, remember~ our God walks on water and our God walks on the wings of the wind. Our God is light in that darkness. Our God always makes a way.
This morning I came back up for air and the winds and the waves did not overcome. I could hear His very words~Peace be still.
And so I wait. As I write this I am still locked out, but I’m not alone. God is in complete control. None of this came as a surprise to Him.
You are not alone either. You are never alone. God is with you. His light will shine through your darkness. He will calm the storms around you and He will prevail when all seems lost.
Even in the unknown~The battle has already been won my friends, and Jesus is our Victor!!
Psalm 34:4, 6, 8, 15, 17, 19, 22
1 Corinthians 10:13
Psalm 35:1-2, 7, 9-12, 15-23, 25, 27-28
Psalm 36:5, 7, 9-11
Psalm 37:1, 3-7, 23-26, 32-33, 35-36, 39-40
Matthew 14:25, 27, 30-33
1 Corinthians 15:57
2 Corinthians 2:14