I realized some things about myself this week.
I go through seasons where I tend to be too self centered. I tend to feel sorry for myself. I tend to make excuses. I have a worship/me complex that I call being a “people pleaser”. The reality is that I just want everyone to like me. I over analyze and under appreciate.
And I take an awful lot for granted.
Too often in these seasons I wallow in “me”.
When I take my eyes off of Jesus, even for a split second, Satan creeps into this overactive mind of mine and convinces me of a thousand and one things I should be bitter, or angry, or sad about.
This week, despite Satan’s efforts to thwart my joy, God’s faithfulness and love outshined any attempt Satan could have at disarming me.
God continually showed me how much He loves me and how much I have to be thankful for.
Over, and over, and over.
I got to spend the week with my family. My husband, children, their spouses and my grandchildren. All in the same house. We got to come to our favorite little island in the Carolinas. The same place we’ve been coming for 37 years. It never gets old and we cherish every single memory it holds. The time spent with extended family is icing on the cake.
I got to sit with my husband and children our last evening together and talk about our Savior’s goodness. I got to pray with them all, as we shared our hearts together. And I felt His presence. We cried and we laughed and all I could think was “Thank you Jesus”.
God showed me that He doesn’t bless me because I do good things. This week was evidence of that. I was momentarily wallowing in self pity before we ever left for vacation. He doesn’t bless me because I check off all the “good Christian” boxes, ie church attendance, bible reading and prayer.
He does it out of sheer love and that in itself brings me to my knees, because I know I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve any of it.
This week He gifted me with beautiful, selfless friends. He gifted me with inconsequential items I’ve been wishing for for my home. He gave me happy days playing on the beach with those I love most. He gave me precious uninterrupted time with my family. He gave me multiple hugs and kisses from grandchildren. He gave me a fresh perspective and memories I will cherish forever.
So today, my only desire is to glorify Him and say thank you.
A thousand times thank you.
If you find yourself in a place you don’t long to be, if your heart is sad and you can’t seem to get past Satan’s attempts to thwart you, fix your eyes on Jesus.
Fix your eyes on Jesus~
and say thank you.
Thank you Jesus.