What is it about our precious, sleeping babies that just tugs at the heart strings and brings tears to our eyes? Maybe it's the exhaustion that gets to our emotions from a full day of babies and laundry and poopy diapers and potty training, teething and allergies and toys and terrible two's. It's those days where your youngest is colicky and your oldest decides to get into your red lipstick to help her sister look "boo-t-full". The days you thought you were being such a great mom by sitting and doing crafts with your kids, even though you felt like you had a million other things to do. Then, your potty training two year old has an accident and upon returning to the craft table your daughter is holding the scissors and her bangs are missing. Yep, cut clean off. Every time you look at her, you beat yourself up inside (I mean what kind of a mother leaves her kids alone with scissors?) The days you want to collapse and cry. The times you do cry because you just screamed at all of them for the umpteenth time, "Why can't you ever get along? I'm so sick and tired of this!" Or the days your husband walks in and you realize it's time for dinner, but you forgot all about it because your kids have the flu and when you catch your reflection in the mirror for the first time all day, you burst into tears. The times you tell your kids you have to go potty and need privacy just so you can sit on the bathroom floor and get a few minutes of sanity back. The moments you were wishing so bad you could just have one night alone with your husband and when you do finally get a babysitter, you end up missing those babies like crazy and worrying about them the whole time. The guilt you feel for always thinking "what about me?" The mornings you just want some time alone with God so badly, but they all decide to wake up at 5am and get into bed with you. The every day chaos where life turns into one big blur and you feel like you are always pregnant or breast feeding or changing diapers or cleaning up puke...... But now the house is quiet and in the dark you see their soft, beautiful, precious faces. So amazing and so innocent and you want to cry all over again because you love them so much.
Mama, this is your ministry. This is your high calling. This is your time with God. These are the most important days of your life. You are not alone. Every mama is going through it with you, and you know what? Every grandma is looking back on it and wishing for one more of those moments with her children. One more of those days. More chaos. More runny noses. More sloppy kisses. More cuddles. More giggles. More hugs. I'm that grandma. Those were my children.
You have a gift in front of you right now. An amazing, wonderful, beautiful, precious gift from God. Your child. Your children. You are the most important thing to them in this universe. There is no one else that can take the place of mama. There is no one else they want when they are hurt or scared or sad. Only you, and God made you to be the perfect mother for them. Don't get discouraged. Don't beat yourself up. God understands the 5am mornings when they pile into bed with you and your bible remains unopened on the night stand. And God understands that some days when you look in on them after they've all gone to sleep, you really feel like you blew it that day. But now in the dark as they all sleep, you softly kiss each of them and whisper your love for them and God whispers back to you. Can you hear Him? He is whispering to your heart~ "you are doing MY work right now. You haven't blown it. This is what's important. This is what's needed. I am with you. They need you and I have chosen you, only you." So close your eyes, kiss them again and let your heart smile, because right now you are the most important person in the world and you are doing an amazing job.