ALL GONE, JUST LIKE THE TURKEY ON A CHRISTMAS STORY.
Christmas came and went. So much happy preparation for one day, and just like that~ It’s over. Maybe for you it was the best Christmas ever, or maybe it wasn’t everything you had hoped for, and sadness lingers. Can I ask you to search your heart? What gift did you give? Not to those who sat around your tree, but to the One whose birthday we celebrate? I will never forget the Christmas all my children woke up with the flu. For months I had been preparing for this day. My whole family would be visiting. My mom always hosted, but this year it would be my first time having everyone on Christmas Day~ and it would be the best Christmas ever. After being up till 2am (like every other parent on Christmas Eve), I fell into bed ~while visions of sugarplums danced in my head~ I was SO excited for the kids to wake up on Christmas morning and open their gifts. Instead, a few short hours later we woke up to crying and fevers and throwing up. One after another. All four kids. Over and over and over. And I cried. This was my day. THE day I looked forward to all year. Why would God do this? He knew how much I loved Christmas. All the cooking and baking, decorating and shopping, wrapping and work, all the sleep deprivation and expectations of joy. All gone. Just like the turkey on “A Christmas Story”. What about me? I was like a child in that moment. Illusions that it was my birthday and not the Savior of all mankind’s. Pouting over the gifts of expectations I would not receive. Complaining that it wasn’t fair. But what did I give Jesus that day? I asked for a lot. Maybe not audibly, but inwardly. A lot. But I gave Him very little. There have been many Christmases since that time where similar situations have happened. I wish I could have a do over. Not to prevent the awful circumstances of the day, but instead to change the way I viewed those circumstances. To give of myself to my Savior whose birthday I was supposedly celebrating. I read a quote today that said~ “The celebrations were never meant to satisfy. The Savior does.” I made it all about me when the day should have been all about Him, despite the circumstances. Despite the circumstances, He came from immaculate glory to a sin cursed world. The Savior, whose hands formed the universe, were now tiny hands, tightly formed around his mother’s finger. Tiny glory, lying in a manger of hay. Born into the worst circumstances you could imagine. For you. Christmas is over. Another year is gone. But today is a new day. We owe everything to Him, yet we ask everything of Him. A new year beckons us. A whole year before next year’s birthday celebration. A whole year to give every single day. Our life is a start. The best start. Our love. Our praise. Our thankfulness. Our everything. Belated birthday wishes are always a blessing. It’s never too late. Sing Happy Birthday in your heart today. The heart that Jesus gave everything for. ❤️
11/13/2018
The EnchantmentTHE ENCHANTMENT Some people (aka me) are Christmas lunatics. Some people are Christmas Scrooge’s and others are somewhere in between. So last January, being the lunatic I am, I decided that “Christmas” would be my word for the new year and promised to post something once a month that reminded us of the beautiful spirit of the season. It started out great. Everyone had the cozy Christmas feelings still lingering, but somewhere around April I realized that my post reach was pretty low. People didn’t want to read about a holiday that reminded them of cold and snow anymore. They were done and wanted to focus on warmth and sunshine and summer. And then, just like that, summer ended and the whole world decided it was time for Christmas again. Forget about the other holidays in between. Stores everywhere have their trees and decorations up and Hallmark has their playlist posted. Once again our minds start thinking ahead to the most wonderful time of year, and the excitement builds. Perhaps it’s because we want something beautiful to look for when the world grows dreary. When the trees become barren and the beautiful colors fade. Christmas holds that enchantment for us. And maybe deep inside, our human hearts are continually looking for the next thing that will make us happy. Always looking ahead of today. That vacation coming up. That long weekend. The warmer weather or sparkling snow. Birthdays or holidays or even retirement. But what if we stopped looking ahead? What if we just looked at today? What if we were able to open a Christmas gift every single day? Or give one? Psalm 118:24 Here’s the awesome thing. We can! If we will just open our eyes. If we will just stop focusing on the bad and open God’s gifts of ALL that is good, and my friend~ SO MUCH is good~we would realize that every day can be Christmas. Matthew 7:11. In turn, we can give some of that beautiful gift to others. A smile. An encouraging word. Your prayers. A hug. Love. John 15:12,17, John 13:34, Ephesians 1:16, Philippians 1:4, Colossians 1:3, 2 Thessalonians 1:3 Christmas is a blend of giving and loving. It’s happiness. It’s coziness. It’s forgiveness. It’s reconciliation. There’s a song in everyone’s heart and a smile on everyone’s lips. Even old Scrooge. But it’s so much more than that. It’s God. It’s all God. All of those things are God. It’s because of Him alone that we can have that joy unspeakable. 1 Peter 1:8 He is the ultimate gift. II Corinthians 9:15. Romans 5:16, Ephesians 2:8, 4:7, Romans 6:23 One we can be thankful for every single day. One we can share with the whole world. John 3:16,17 As you go to sleep tonight, pretend for a moment that tomorrow is Christmas. Remember the excitement you had when you were a child. Allow that child like wonder to wash over you as you look forward to the beautiful gifts God has for you to open. Look for them in every tiny moment. Every day. James 1:17 There’s a little bit of heaven everywhere. Let the enchantment of Christmas encompass your life, and share that gift with others. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
11/6/2018
But, What If We Can’t Rest?BUT, WHAT IF WE CAN’T REST?
Last week I wrote about the importance of rest. I told you how we all need it. I reminded you that it isn’t just a suggestion, it’s a commandment. But what if we can’t? What if it is physically impossible to rest~except for the few short hours between our heads hitting the pillow and our feet once again hitting the floor? What if our days are full of people who depend on us entirely~ whether that means a job or the littles that belong to you, or both. Maybe a sick child, husband or parent. People who are so dependent on you that there is no physical way you can bail. No way to get away. No way to rest. And then your days spill into your evenings. Evenings full of responsibilities. Church or sports, meetings or errands. Groceries bought and bills paid. Homework finished and lunches made. Laundry and dishes. Crying babies. Hurting teens. Sick loved ones. Life. Our evenings turn into late nights with morning right around the corner. No time to breathe. No time to rest. And then the alarm clock goes off at 5am and the cycle begins again. What then? How can we possibly obey God’s command to rest when no rest can be had? I have had these seasons in my life. Seasons where concerned loved ones have advised me that if I didn’t slow down, I would fall down. Inside I just wanted to cry~ “you don’t understand. I literally CANNOT stop. People depend on me”. It has been in these seasons that I have realized a valuable truth. This may sound counterproductive but~rest takes work. Intentional work on our part. Hebrews 4:9-11 The good news is that we never have to go it alone. In fact, we cannot do it alone. We can only do it through Him and in His power. Psalm 71:16, Isaiah 41:10 Rest can be had in the only one Who can give it. Our Savior. We have to be intentional in the 24 hours He gives us each day. If we allow the busyness of our lives to overwhelm us, every task we face will become a chore and life will lose its joy altogether. We will start to feel alone and sadness will overcome us. Life was never meant to be lived alone. It was always meant to be lived in Christ and for Him. So work to be intentional. Retrain your mind to think on Christ every moment you can, and not on your circumstances. For you, that might mean going in the bathroom and locking the door for 5 minutes alone with Him. That might mean talking to Your Father as you shower or put on your makeup. That might mean dwelling on Him and His words as you drive to and from work, as you make dinner, fold laundry, do dishes, comfort that crying baby, take care of that sick parent or loved one. Don’t allow yourself to be lulled into a false rest when life gives you a few moments to yourself. Don’t pick up your phone to mindlessly scroll, pick up God’s word. Don’t turn that TV on and vegetate, turn to Him and talk to Him. Intentionally set your mind on Christ and ask Him for His rest. Be relentless in your quest. John 11:22, psalm 61:2, Matthew 11:28&29. All day, through everything life throws at you, whisper to Him. Let Him be your brace, your hope, your joy, your peace, your mercy and your comfort. And as your head hits the pillow, you won’t have to worry about what the next day holds. Psalm 3:5, 4:8. Isaiah 57:2 Overwhelming peace will flow through you. Philippians 4:7 Your feet won’t touch the floor the next morning, because He will be carrying you. Isaiah 46:4, Exodus 33:14 And suddenly, it won’t be work anymore because you will be resting safely in His arms. Psalm 16:9, 132:14, Jeremiah 31:25 II Thessalonians 1:7, II Corinthians 12:9
10/9/2018
Angel Wings And LaughterANGEL WINGS AND LAUGHTER
I can remember watching my mom at the crack of dawn. She was wearing her heavy white robe with the sleeves rolled up and her arm was inside a turkey that looked bigger than I was. I can still picture the table the first time my “Big Grandma” (my mama’s mom) placed “Shake and Bake” chicken in front of us kids. We all marveled at this new and wonderful invention. I never knew my mouth could be so happy. I remember telling my “Little Grandma” (my dad’s mom) that she made the best mashed potatoes in the whole world. She confided in me that her secret was the whole milk and butter she added. I remember baking peanut butter cookies with Big Grandma and mama. Mom showed me how to press them with a fork and Grandma told me only Crisco would work in the dough. Fruit cocktail cake. Chicken cacciatore. Pierogis and potato pancakes. Hot dogs, mashed potatoes and sour kraut. Go’wompkis and city chicken. Grandma’s cheesecake and fabulous fudge. Chrusciki~Angel wings and laughter. The smell and the taste and the laughter. And mom in the middle of it all. 💗 Memories. A dear friend reminded me this week of how special memories are and how thankful we should be for them. The smells. The tastes. All triggers of memories that were a part of my childhood. Happy get~togethers with family. Holidays and birthdays. Love and laughter. Sometimes the memories can cause our hearts to hurt. We miss our sweet loved ones. Some days I wish I could be that little girl again, watching mama clean the turkey before our big Thanksgiving meal. I miss her terribly, and when the colder air blows in and the leaves start to turn~the memories flood over me. One month from this day, 11/3~ she would take her last breath and enter heaven’s glory. What would I do different had I known, I only had that one month to be with her? So much. God has given us a gift. The gift of today. What we can’t do over, we can do anew~ Today. We can make new memories and we can choose to find joy and thankfulness in the gift of the memories God has already given us. How sad our lives would be if God did not give us these precious gifts. Memories tucked away in our hearts that will last us a lifetime, long after our loved ones are gone. Memories that will bring us laughter, even when our hearts are hurting. Memories that help us shape our today’s. So~~I made grandma’s peanut butter cookies, Crisco and all. Who knew in this age of ‘health food everything’ that they still made it? I showed my granddaughter how to press them with a fork. She snuck one off the pan before they were even cool and the twinkle in her eye and laughter in her voice is a new memory I will cling to. Perhaps one day I will try to make angel wings with her. And she will remember~ Angel wings and laughter. Lots of laughter.
9/19/2018
Don’t Try To Fit Jesus Into A BoxDON’T TRY TO FIT JESUS INTO A BOX
I guess it’s a little obvious that I love to write. When Mike and I first started dating, I was constantly writing him letters and poems~ not so much now. The years have shown me that he’s definitely not a sappy “Hallmark card” kinda guy. But back then~ he would always respond with a love letter in return. We would talk about everything in our letters. His words expressed so much and our relationship matured because we got to know each other on a deeper level. Letter writing is a lost art. (But that’s a subject for another day😉) I can’t even imagine how I would have felt on our wedding day if he confessed that he never actually wrote a single letter to me, but instead had someone else put their thoughts and feelings into script. I’m sure I would question if he really loved me and how well I truly knew him. Today you can google just about any topic and find a devotional that goes along with it. There are thousands. Blogs and Facebook pages, books and plans. There’s a huge market for it, because people are searching. They want someone to tell them in 500 words or less how to get the most out of this life as a Christian. We want help in our marriages and with our children. We want to learn how to trust God more. We want someone to show us the correct way to go through heart ache, to be hospitable, to worship and to pray. We want our lives to feel good. We search for joy in our answers. We want a quick fix. But we don’t search for the answers ourselves. Why should we search when someone else can do that for us? Why should we beg to truly know God when someone else can tell us exactly how that’s done? So we get up early. We drink our coffee. We read a few verses and the devotion that correlates with it and we say~ “wow, that was exactly what I needed today”~ and that’s where it gets sad my friend. Our worship has turned into worshipping ourselves and what we need to make ourselves feel better~ and not about truly finding and knowing Jesus. Sadly, as I look at my own heart, there have been times that I could not say~ “If all I had was Jesus~ He would be enough.” I want that joy. I want good things for my marriage and my children. I want my problems to go away. I want my life to be easy and happy. What I fail to realize is that if I truly sought Jesus above all else, instead of praying for these other things with the wrong intentions~ I would understand that in Him alone~ I do have everything. Too often, my prayers do not reflect my love for Him. I can claim that they do, but if I am being honest~they reflect my love for myself. Jesus wants to answer our prayers. He wants us to have joy and happiness because He loves us, but He isn’t just a meal ticket, above all else~ He wants us to truly know Him. He is, and always should be our end goal. Don’t try to fit Jesus into a little devotional box that you check off for the day. Put down your phone or tablet, that devotional plan or inspiring book, and pick up His personal words to you. Allow HIS words to show you who He really is. Ask HIM to show you the answers. Let HIS beauty shine upon your life. Let HIS words alone open your eyes to the awe of Jesus~ the wonder, the power, the fear, the love, the mercy, the forgiveness, the peace~ that HE alone encompasses. I do believe God uses authors in a great way and for His glory. There will always be writers telling us how we ought to live. (Ironically, this is something I am doing even now) There is nothing new under the sun. But God’s words, His mercies~ They are new every morning. Don’t let someone else write your love story and be content with that. Write your own love story with Jesus by reading His love story to you. Your relationship with Him will mature and you will get to know Him on a deeper level. The more you read, the more you get to know Him, the more you will know how to respond to Him and how very much He loves you. No one else can take His place. No one else can take your place. God’s words are so much more than a Hallmark card or inspiring devotional. They are LIFE. How well do you truly know Him? Philippians 3:10, Psalms 119:125 Exodus 33:13, Philippians 3:8 Proverbs 4:20-22, Ecclesiastes 1:9
1/13/2018
All is WellOne of my favorite movies to watch during the holiday season is “It’s a Wonderful Life” and this year, as I was scrolling through Pinterest I came across a very interesting article that really grabbed my attention. The title of the article was~“The George Bailey Effect: How To Be More Grateful”. As many of you probably know, my family was hit extremely hard with the stomach flu. It started two weeks before Christmas and every other day someone else came down with it. We had to cancel many of our Christmas plans, plans that have become treasured family traditions we look forward to all year. As Christmas Day approached, I found myself sad that everything got canceled and my kids and grandkids were all so sick. In a nutshell, the idea of the article was to take a lesson from George Bailey and try to imagine what your life might be like without your spouse, your kids, your grandkids, your home etc. It definitely works and makes you more grateful for all God has blessed you with. It also helps you realize how much you take for granted. Unfortunately, because we are human, that “George Bailey feeling” feels right in the moment~but when the reality of life hits you hard again~you forget about all those George Bailey vibes and you’re right back to square one. You might find yourself thinking~ I DO have so much to be thankful for, but I’m still sad. Why can’t I have joy? What’s wrong with me? The answer does not come from George Bailey or Clarence or a movie about how wonderful your life truly is. The answer, the only answer is Christ. Our happiness is often highly invested in our happenings which can turn from good to bad in the blink of an eye, but joy- true joy is only found in Christ. He is our Hope, our Gift of Love, our Salvation, our Eternal Life, our home in heaven, our Wonderful, our Pure, inexplicable Joy. It could never hurt to use the George Bailey Effect and to remember all we have to be thankful for, but let’s also remember that even when the unexpected hits you (i.e. you’re entire family is throwing up) and Christmas Day or any day isn’t what you expected~ it wasn’t what Mary and Joseph expected either~and yet it was the Miracle of Miracles that changed the entire world. At some point in our lives we will all go through unexpected heartache, much harder than a flu bug. We might even feel as if our happiness is lost forever but out of the unexpected, a filthy cattle stall, your Miracle of Joy was born. You may be headed into this new year with a heavy, hurting heart, due to that unexpected. Whatever you are facing today- look to that manger and to His cross, realizing what a gift God has given you. His Son. What awe that brings to my heart, a peace that can’t be explained but a peace and joy that others understand who have also received His miracle into their own heart and life. Only Jesus can turn our sadness into dancing and fill our hearts with gladness. Some days will always be harder than others but even on those days, He will hold you close and whisper to your soul that all is well. And it truly can be a wonderful life. Your wonderful life. Psalm 139:5-6
10/28/2017
Looking For Love In All The Wrong PlacesHave you ever heard the song~ “Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places”?.....
In the 80’s, we lived in a small, ranch style home from my 6th grade year through college~ you know~ the formative, boy crazy years, at least for me. My mom had this neat, strategically placed desk in the central room of that home. Easy access, because on that desk was our telephone. Not a cell phone. An old school, rotary dial, cord attached telephone. I used to live for the sound of that phone. Dreamily laying on the floor listening to “Just You and I”, anticipating the excitement of the ring. It was always the same~ me talking to my boyfriend, my brother yelling at me to get off so he could use it or my dad saying~ “someone might be trying to call, you’ve been on there long enough”. It had a super long, spiral cord attached to the receiver and I would stretch it around the corner and down the hall as far as I could in order to have more privacy. But then, that boy broke my heart. Laying on the floor listening to “I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you”, the phone would ring and, knowing it wasn’t for me, I just cried harder. Of course this happened more than once during the years we lived in that house. Always excited for the call or sad over the lack of one, until I got a call from a certain boy. THE CALL that ended all the other calls but was the beginning of a lifetime of love that only gets stronger and stronger every day. Just like that skinny, insecure, adolescent girl looking for love, there are times even now that she resurfaces. Not with boys, but with other things that call out to me. When I’m having a bad day or week or even month, there are times that my flesh looks for love and comfort everywhere except for “The Where” I should be looking. I’m a junk food junkie from way back and there are times (too many to count) I reach for food to comfort me. Or I drown my sorrows on binge TV and try to get lost in a show to remove my mind from my present state. There are times I sit and scroll. And scroll. And scroll. And after an hour of pinning too many decadent dessert recipes or house interiors I wish were mine or hair ideas, exercise routines and articles on being a better wife or mother, I don’t feel any better. I don’t feel better after the comfort food or the TV shows either. Maybe in the moment I do, after the first three or four Mallo Cups or an entire bag of Lays potato chips, but when that moment is gone, so is the feeling. And I’m still sad. And my Father is saying, “get off of all that. I’m calling out to you but I can’t get through because you are looking for love in all the wrong places”. Why does it take me so long to realize it’s THE CALL? The one that changes everything. And if I’ll just go down the hall and get alone with Him on a daily basis, His love only grows stronger and stronger. It’s life changing and the more time I spend with Him, the more I realize how silly I was to convince myself that these other things could ever answer my heart’s call. My friend, the only One that can fill your heart’s void is your Heavenly Father. There is nothing this world has to offer that can replace Him. Answer that call today. His call. The excitement and anticipation of talking to your Savior cannot compare to anything else. I guarantee “Just You and I” will take on a whole new meaning and your life will forever be changed. Matthew 6:33 The doctor came in and immediately I could feel the coldness he brought along with him. My daughter sat in the chair, anxious and excited to finally receive the help she had needed for so long. Minutes into the visit, we both realized she wouldn't be getting any help. She couldn't even get the words she wanted to express out of her mouth. He continually cut her off and by the end of the visit, had her in tears. Can I just say~ I wasn't feeling very lovable at that moment. I seriously wanted to stand up and slap him and then hug my daughter and walk out. I have been very spoiled since living in Huron County when it comes to those in the medical field. They have all been amazing and this was actually a first for me. It can be so easy to sit and write a little devotional on how we should love others despite the way they treat us, you know~ turn the other cheek and all that~ but when we are actually put in a real life situation, it isn't so easy after all. It's not easy, but it is possible. Especially with Christ in our hearts. I can remember so many specific instances that area doctors and nurses gave me such a sense of comfort as I awaited scary procedures, just by the way they treated me. One instance was one I have written about before. The hospital stay where I wasn't allowed to wear makeup. One of the nurses attending me had gone to high school with my two oldest daughters. I couldn't believe time had gone by so quickly and she was now a nurse. I was anxious about seeing anyone I knew in my condition (aka no makeup 😂) but more importantly, I was apprehensive over my upcoming surgery. This sweet friend made me feel like I was receiving a warm, continual hug every time she entered my hospital room. It is a feeling I will never forget and one I will forever be grateful for. Yes, people may treat us horribly. They might treat our loved ones horribly, but the way we react and the way we treat them will remain with them forever. I read a quote this week that said- "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel" Let's pray that those who tend to make others feel unloved will find us making them feel greatly loved with the unconditional love that only Christ Himself can give. Always be grateful to those who have that special way of making you feel like you are receiving a warm hug just from being in their presence. It is something that is too often taken for granted. I personally want to say~Thank You 💗💗
12/31/2016
Let The Son ShineI was sitting in my bedroom with the door locked, crying. Again. Sadly, I wasn't one of those moms that never allowed her kids to see their parents fight. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and tell my young self to "stop it". I would tell myself-"dry your tears and look up for a minute at your four children who are watching and listening" Marriage can be tough. There are those sweet times that I write about, but there are also some hard times. Some fighting. Some hurt. Some wrongs on both sides. Marriage isn't easy and life isn't easy. I'm thankful for a husband who forgives but is also willing to ask for forgiveness. This isn't always the case. People will hurt us. Friends and even loved ones will undeservedly hurt us, sometimes over and over. Our hearts can feel like they are breaking and as we sit crying and not understanding why, we have one of two choices. Stay there in that pain and justify our continued, righteous sadness or~ allow Jesus to shine from us. How often did I stay there? Too often. And even as I got older and went through heart aches and trials in my life, it seemed like it was still always about me~ "well God is allowing this to happen for MY good"~ when all along it was never about me, but all about Him. I was just focusing on Charisse too much to see it. Yes, God has a purpose in every trial we go through. Yes, He wants to teach us something through our trials, but we are only human. We feel pain and sadness. Our Savior understands that, and all along He is right there whispering to us~let me take that pain away and shine through you. Sometimes we don't think we can, because our human hearts feel it so deeply that we can't let it go. Just like my children were watching how I reacted, the world is also watching. I would go back in a heartbeat and react differently if I could now, but I can't. That doesn't mean I'm just going to throw in the towel. I will learn from my mistakes and realize now that every hurt, every bad thing that happens is intended for good. Not mine, but His. To show His glory so that others might come to know Him. Every day is a gift. A new beginning to start fresh. His mercy and compassion are new every morning. Today, as we end this year and begin a new one, let's determine not to stay in 2016. Let's open the windows of our hearts to God and even on our cloudiest, darkest days, let the Son, in all His glory, shine.
10/1/2016
To Die Is GainDeath can be a scary thing. It's something we don't ever want to think about, especially the death of someone we love, but at some point we all have to face it. Whether it was expected or not, it is crushing when a dear loved one dies. It is crippling and takes the breath out of you, making you feel like you don't have the strength to make it through another day. My former pastor, Blaine Farley, recently went home to be with Jesus. He touched my heart for eternity. He was always joyful and truly showed the love of Jesus to everyone he came in contact with. My heart breaks for his family, as I know that light that shone so brightly is no longer present. And even though it was expected, it is crushing. When we got the phone call that my sister in law Amy died, it was such a shock that my feeble heart did not want to believe it and when I got the call from my dad that my mom had unexpectedly passed away the crushing shock was present every single day. Each morning when I woke, my heart cried. But it did not cry without hope, as it doesn't cry without hope now for Pastor Farley. I KNOW that my loved ones are in the presence of Jesus, because of HIM and the love HE has for us. Because they accepted His gift of salvation and knew in their own hearts that they had a home in heaven one day. When I think of my dear Pastor Farley, I can't help but think of the words to a song I learned while I was under his ministry..."there is no peace, no joy, no thrill, like walking in His will, for me to live is Christ, to die is gain" That was my Pastor. He shone Christ's love and joy and the thrill of being God's child. I am so thankful for him and all he taught me and I'm so thankful to my Heavenly Father for loving me so much that He sent His Son to die for me so that I can have a home in heaven one day too, and see my loved ones again. My heart might be heavy, but I know that the death of my loved ones was only gain to them because of God's gift. I know that the peace and the joy and the thrill that Pastor Farley had here on earth cannot ever compare to the peace, joy and thrill he has in the presence of His Savior. That is our comfort. It can be your comfort too.
9/17/2016
Savor Every Moment In His BeautyLately I have been praying and asking God for joy. Pretty much every time I do, I feel a bit of shame that this old flesh can lose it so quickly. In light of the fact that other ladies are going through horrific circumstances and heartache, shame on me for not having joy. Shame on me for allowing the petty little things of life steal my joy. There are weeks and sometimes months that are so full of running and activities and late nights and early mornings and crying grand babies that all the little things can become overwhelming. I remember reading once about people who get depressed at Christmas due to the build up and then let down because it is over so quickly. When I was younger I thought that was ridiculous. Now that I'm older it is very believable. Fall is one of my favorite times of year and Christmas my favorite holiday. I have found in the last 5 years that once September is here, I barely take a breath and it's Christmas. It seems like it was just yesterday that I snapped this picture and just like that, a year has gone by. I want to savor every single moment from September 1 till December 25 but the activities are endless and there aren't enough hours in a day and I fall in bed at 1am each night dreading the early morning and more "to-do's". I lose my joy. There are so many good devotionals on the subject. Many reminding us that Jesus is the reason for the season or give us "The Answer to Having a Stress Free Holiday". This year, through our Java Joy fellowships, God has shown me my answer. It's that little fruit of the Spirit called JOY. And that's where I mess up every year. I always try, in my own strength, to make it my fruit. I don't ask the Holy Spirit for help. I beat myself up for not being more joyful, for feeling overwhelmed and I try harder and harder but I always come up short. I can only have true joy by asking my Father for it on a daily and sometimes hourly basis if needed. And today, amidst the already crazy chaos of the fall/winter season, my Jesus is giving me joy. I am taking the time to love on my grand babies and at times just sit and stare at their precious, beautiful faces as they play and soak it all in, knowing that "to-do" list that I put down will get done, because my Father has it covered. As I write this there are just over 85,000 seconds until Christmas and I want to glorify Jesus with every single one of them and have His joy shine from me. Whatever circumstance you find yourself in, whatever heartache~ the answer can be the same for you as well. Just ask Him for that joy. It's His to give and something you can't ever fully have on your own. Let's stop trying to prove to the world how strong and capable we are as women and just give it all to Jesus and let Him be the source of our strength and of our joy. Then put that calendar (that's filling up so quickly) aside and savor every moment in His beauty.
8/13/2016
Guilty Of FairytalingWe as women can sometimes be guilty of fairytaling. I know that's not a real word but it sums it up pretty good. We want our future to be dreamy and picturesque. We see things through fairy tale eyes and not with reality in mind. I thought of this with my daughter's wedding. Praise God that the weather agreed with us that day, but the day before it was 10 degrees hotter and after the rehearsal she said to me~"what was I thinking having an outdoor wedding in the heat of August?" In her mind she could picture the beautiful setting but didn't really think past that. We as women can be guilty of looking ahead at our lives as a storybook. A picture. How perfect our husband will be. How cute our future babies will be, what our house will look like, how our children will turn out, where they will go to college and where they all will live when we get to be grandparents. But then reality hits. Our perfect husband eventually hurts us. Our babies come along and as much as we love them we go through night after night with a fussy infant and no sleep and begin to take it out on each other and fight. Then somewhere down the road we find ourselves crying in the dark of night as we rock those babies and thinking~ it's not supposed to be this way. And in an instant, time has flown by and we find ourselves crying and wishing we could rock them again as we send them off to college or as they get married and leave our nest. Our storybook life is not fairytale like we thought when we were young and naive. So here is my challenge for Kathryn and Josh along with all of you today. Don't base your life or your kids lives on the picture perfect story you wish you could have but base it on God's perfect book. Stay in Gods word and focus on Him. Whether you are just engaged or a grandma like me, it's never too late to have the perfect story God intended for your life if you turn to Him and give Him that life. Give God every decision, every hurt, every future plan your heart has and let Him write your perfect story. As you talk to Him and lean on Him, as you trust Him and seek Him you will know it's going to be a story far better than any fairytale because the God who loves us more than words could ever express wrote it just for you.
Some days I just want to run away. Just run away from life in general. There have been days that all I want to do is cry. When a situation has happened in my life that hurts me so deeply that I can't even find the words to say and I can't share it with anyone and I have to hold the tears in and pretend that life is good because~ isn't life always good when you are a pastor's wife? But it's not. And these are the times that all I can do is cry out to God, but all that comes out is "please help me". And in the midst of the pain, life must continue. Your family depends on you. Your job, your babies, your responsibilities. And so you feel alone and overwhelmed. And you want to run away. Yes this happens to pastor's wives just like it probably happens to any other woman that goes through heart ache and hurt. But in the midst of my "holding it together", in between sitting in the bathroom where no one can see me crying, in the midst of sleepless nights with tears running down my cheeks~I will not stop asking my Savior, my Father and my Comforter to help me. That doesn't mean that miraculously the situation becomes good again but I know that even when I don't know what to pray, my God hears what my heart is crying out when my mouth can't form the words. And He holds me and I know that no matter what happens~He will carry me through. Today you might want to run away but don't let the enemy tell you it's ok to feel this way. To settle down under the covers of despair and hibernate there. Don't let Satan trick you into believing life can't get better or that it won't~because it will~but only in Gods arms, in His strength with the peace that only He can give. Don't run away, run right into the arms of the Savior who wants to carry you through.
4/9/2016
The Love Of True Joy"And these things write we unto you that your joy may be full" 1 John 1:4. I read that at the beginning of the week and it has been on my mind since. When I pray about what to write each week, my heart's desire is for you to know that joy. The true joy that only comes from Jesus. That your joy would be full. Some of you may have been in church all your life, you may have heard preachers preach this very passage and you know it to be true, yet your joy isn't full. Some of you may read this and wish desperately that you could have true joy but don't know how you could ever attain it. The answer to both is still Jesus. He is and always will be the answer. Church and religion can't fulfill your joy. Doing good works or giving to charity can't fulfill your joy. Wealth and treasures can't. None of these can give you joy anymore than looking for it in drugs or sex or alcohol. All of these things are temporary. They are fleeting. Only Jesus can fulfill your joy. And that's what I want you to know. I'm not saying that once you have Jesus life will be a bed of roses, because it won't. I have had heart ache, I have allowed life to disappoint and discourage me but the times I knew my joy wasn't full weren't because Jesus wasn't with me. He was always there but I chose not to go to Him and tried to deal with my problems in my own strength. Don't let the phrase "Jesus brings joy" become cliche to you. Purposely choose to believe it today. I have such joy in knowing that Jesus loves me dearly, so much that He died to take my sins away so that I could be with Him in heaven someday. Why would I ever choose to live a life without the one Who loves me that deeply? That is a love that can never be replaced. That is the Love of True Joy. 😊❤️
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