© 2020 HOLDING HOPE
Some days I just want to run away. Just run away from life in general. There have been days that all I want to do is cry. When a situation has happened in my life that hurts me so deeply that I can't even find the words to say and I can't share it with anyone and I have to hold the tears in and pretend that life is good because~ isn't life always good when you are a pastor's wife? But it's not. And these are the times that all I can do is cry out to God, but all that comes out is "please help me". And in the midst of the pain, life must continue. Your family depends on you. Your job, your babies, your responsibilities. And so you feel alone and overwhelmed. And you want to run away. Yes this happens to pastor's wives just like it probably happens to any other woman that goes through heart ache and hurt. But in the midst of my "holding it together", in between sitting in the bathroom where no one can see me crying, in the midst of sleepless nights with tears running down my cheeks~I will not stop asking my Savior, my Father and my Comforter to help me. That doesn't mean that miraculously the situation becomes good again but I know that even when I don't know what to pray, my God hears what my heart is crying out when my mouth can't form the words. And He holds me and I know that no matter what happens~He will carry me through. Today you might want to run away but don't let the enemy tell you it's ok to feel this way. To settle down under the covers of despair and hibernate there. Don't let Satan trick you into believing life can't get better or that it won't~because it will~but only in Gods arms, in His strength with the peace that only He can give. Don't run away, run right into the arms of the Savior who wants to carry you through.