11/12/2020
He Still IsWhen my children were tiny, I was a very naive young mom when it came to politics. We didn’t have cell phones or internet or the constant swell of social media that bombards our lives today.
In fact, Mike and I didn’t even have cable TV. With the facts that we were given, I assumed that the majority of the people would vote the way I did. I was wrong. We were driving home from church when we found out who won the presidency. My three little ones were oblivious to the change that was happening in our world. They were giggling in the back seat without a care in the world. We had the radio on in our car when the announcement was made. I was in complete shock. This had to be wrong. There was no way our country could’ve voted this way. But it was true. I hugged my stomach a little tighter. My fourth child would be born soon. What kind of world would it be when she was an adult? What would become of this country I loved so dearly? I turned and looked at my children playing happily in the back seat and I was afraid. Fear touched my heart in a deep way that day. Fear for our future. Fear for my children and what kind of world they would grow up in. But that fear was not from God. God tells me fear not. Lamentations 3:57, Luke 12:7 God tells me to trust Him. Proverbs 3:5,6 God tells me to have faith, faith like a little child. Luke 18:17. Faith like my children had that day in the car. Faith that their daddy was in the driver’s seat and would get them safely home. But we grow up. We become skeptical. We are inundated with information, constantly at our fingertips. We worry, we lose faith, we fear. Just like I did so many years ago. Yes, God is “in control”. Sadly, that phrase has become so cliche that it bears no meaning to us at times. God knows exactly when you will draw your next breath. He knows the rhythm of your heart. He knows your very thoughts. He makes the sun rise and set. He throws beautiful stars into a sea of darkness. He creates individual snowflakes that cover our world like a breathtaking tapestry. He hears the laughter of your children and with indescribable love, it brings Him joy. God is the very One Who created that president you didn’t vote for. In His image. I can look back at that day in the car with different eyes now. The eyes of a mother of adult children. The eyes of a grandma. The eyes of someone who has consistently seen God’s hand upon my life. The eyes of someone that God has always, always , always taken care of. The eyes of a child who knows her Daddy is in the driver’s seat and He will take her safely home. My kids did not go through the future horrors my heart feared. God has always remained faithful. Even when I felt like my world was out of control, He has always been in complete control, and let me just share a secret with you~ HE STILL IS. Whoever you voted for, whatever concerns and fears are gripping your heart today over your future or the future of your children, let me assure you that God will remain faithful. He already knows who won this election. He already knows what your children’s future holds~ and with a love far greater than we could ever fathom, He holds that future and your children and grandchildren in the palm of His hands. The very hands that bled for you. Fear is not from God. Lay it down at His feet and have faith. Faith like a little child. This country belongs to God. He wants you to trust Him. He is worthy of that honor. He is worthy of all glory. He will always bring you safely home. “And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.” Matthew 28:18 “Thou hast caused men to ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water: but thou broughtest us out into a wealthy place.” Psalms 66:12 “Unless the Lord had been my help, my soul had almost dwelt in silence. When I said, My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O Lord, held me up. In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.” Psalms 94:17-19 “I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.” Psalms 37:25 “Thou hast put gladness in my heart. I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.” Psalms 4:7-8 I worry about tomorrow.
I know~that’s exactly what Jesus tells me NOT to do (Matthew 6:34), and yet I do it all the time. I am a planner, but I also have control issues. That is a terrible combination. When I look at a future I cannot control, it scares me. I get anxious, I get stressed and I worry. Funny thing is, I don’t really have control over anything. I have no control over next year or next month or even next minute. My mind tricks me into a false sense of security when I plan and have everything written down in a neat, orderly fashion. But, just because I have a perfect little list of what I want my life to look like doesn’t mean I have any control over any of it. I know this, but somehow I always forget it. God is the only One in control. I remember the first summer after my last child graduated from college. It happened to be a very stressful time for me. On top of a multitude of other burdens I was carrying, Mike and I decided to renovate the upstairs kids bedrooms into our master bedroom and bath. I specifically remember calling my daughter several times and saying, “are you sure you’re okay with this?You will no longer have a bedroom here.” She promised she was fine with it. Florida was her home now. So, we began the work. And then~ the day I was kneeling on the floor, scraping 100 years of carpet glue up, she called. She was crying. She was homesick and wanted me to try to come down to visit. I talked to her a while and when I hung up~ I sat and cried. I had so much on my plate, so many things on my little list that I wanted to accomplish and I desperately wanted to finish this project before the school year started. I was exhausted and overwhelmed, but my heart hurt for my daughter. What was I going to do? I did what I do way too often. I cried helpless tears and I stressed myself out. I didn’t give it to God, I didn’t ask Him for help. I had a pity party and worried for a week over that decision. When I look back on it now I think it should’ve been a very easy decision to make. Go see my daughter. The bedroom could wait. The responsibilities that were so heavy on my shoulders could wait, but sometimes when you’re in the middle of the storm everything seems like “too much” and you can’t think logically. You can’t see past the storm clouds to the rainbow of God’s promises beyond. (Proverbs 3:5,6, Hebrews 13:5) I wish that I had just stopped and said~ God show me and then give me the peace to leave it in Your hands knowing You will take care of it. (Philippians 4:7) But I didn’t. One week later, despite me and my worries, miracles happened.(Revelation 3:8) My daughter called to say she had prayed all week and felt God leading her to move back home, she just needed God to provide a job (and a bedroom 😂). That very afternoon a job was provided, before she even had a chance to look. A great job in our tiny town, where jobs like that aren’t available often. Before I knew it, she was home. Our bedroom was done. (Her bedroom was moved downstairs) The responsibilities were taken care of. The burdens were lifted one by one. And God knew it all along. He knew it when she called. He knew it as I sat there crying. He knew it as I worried day after day. He knew it as I lay in bed unable to sleep. Jesus tells me to focus on today because God has already taken care of all my tomorrows, and yet I find myself focusing on the tomorrows way too often. (Matthew 6:34) If I had just trusted Him and given Him all that worry, all those burdens, all those tears~ all of it could’ve been avoided because in return He would have given me peace. I can’t tell you the number of times God has done this in my life. Time after time after time He has shown me that He had the situation under control before it ever became a situation. You would think I would have learned one simple truth by now~ God loves me and He will always take care of every situation in my life. He knows all our weaknesses and wants us to be strong through Him, but somehow we think our strength is enough. It isn’t. It never can be. (II Corinthians 12:9) So my friend, this is a reminder to myself, because this past week I allowed this to happen yet again in my life. And this is a reminder to you~ Whatever you are facing today that has you worried and stressed and anxious, please give it to God. He’s right there waiting and whispering~ “Find peace and joy in this very minute right now. Trust Me. I’ve got all your tomorrows already taken care of.” (I Peter 5:7, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.” Psalms 46:1-3, 5
7/8/2020
Fighting WordsEven though it’s scary, I’m going to be an open book here.
Back in March when this virus gripped our nation, I experienced something I never have before. I’ve had my fair share of depression, stress and even a bit of anxiety from time to time~ especially in situations involving my loved ones. It was always something God helped me get through quickly and easily. But this, this was something new. Fear. Fear and fearful anxiety, and I couldn’t shake it. It seemed to control me despite everything I tried. I would wake up out of a sound sleep with my heart racing for no apparent reason. It seemed to consume me. I felt alone. I felt ashamed that I was afraid. I knew that my mind was getting the better of me. My thoughts were controlling me instead of Christ and I couldn’t seem to make it stop. Some days I would read His words and they would be like a familiar friend. I would feel so close to Him. But then I left my bedroom~ my safe Jesus and me space. Sadly, without even realizing it I had allowed myself to believe that Jesus was back chilling out on my bed while I was fighting continual battles. My mind allowed myself to forget that He was right there with me through every step and every breath that I took. As I went about my day, the cares of this world bombarded me and pushed away all the beauty I held in my heart from earlier in the day. I would fall into bed at night feeling very far from Him and wonder what happened. Why am I like this? There are seasons where my inner thoughts are a continual enemy, fighting against me. Thoughts like- ⁃ I’m so scared. ⁃ I’m so messed up inside. ⁃ If anyone knew what I was really like, they’d wonder how I could even be a pastor’s wife. ⁃ I have to appear to have it all together, even though I feel like a disaster. ⁃ I wish I could be like her. She’s so strong, confident, fearless, friendly.... ⁃ God must be so angry/disappointed with me. ⁃ I can’t even tell my own husband some of the crazy things that go through my head, he’d think I was nuts. ⁃ Why am I so anxious? Why am I so scared? - I’ve got to snap out of this. - How can I possibly help others when my mind is in such chaos? ⁃ I shouldn’t be so scared. ⁃ I need help. These inner thoughts can create a deep loneliness and when my thoughts start to control me, it’s a battle. My heart fighting with my mind. In March my mind was winning. It was a long battle. Whatever battle you are facing, realize you cannot fight it in your own strength. No amount of positive thinking, meditating, self help devotionals or even sermons can safe-step you through this battlefield. It is only through God’s redeeming love~ in the death of Christ on the cross~that you will have the power to defeat your inner thoughts, depression, stress or anxiety. It is only your relationship with Christ that can give you that power. His power. Christ is the only One Who can carry you across your personal battlefield. So today I want to share some tips with you on what has helped me get past that fear and anxiety and what has helped me get through depression and stress in the past. If you don’t remember anything else from this post, I urge you to remember this ~FIGHTING WORDS. Each one of these tips involve fighting words. ⁃ Every day, no matter how afraid or messed up I felt, I asked the Holy Spirit to help me. Day after day after day. I did not give up asking, even when I felt like it wasn’t working. These were my fighting words. John 14:16-18,26, 15:26, 16:13-15, I Cor. 2:10 ⁃ I started a bible plan with an accountability partner where large amounts of scripture were read daily. You can read about that post here~ https://www.cbcofcaseville.org/blog/read-through-the-bible These were God’s fighting words. Psalm 1:2, 119:15-16, 148, Romans 10:17 ⁃ I took one day a week to sit in God’s presence and simply thank Him without asking for a thing. Even when my heart was scared and didn’t feel thankful. You can read about that experience here~ https://www.cbcofcaseville.org/blog/a-prayer-that-can-change-your-life These were my fighting words. Ephesians 5:20 ⁃ I wrote down uplifting promises from God’s word and placed them all over my house. God’s fighting words. Deuteronomy 6:6,9 ⁃ I downloaded the app Dwell https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dwell-audio-bible/id1343917374 (I highly recommend this app) Whenever I am able, I listen to this all day long. It’s a beautiful way to listen to God speaking His words directly to me. It creates a place of safety, comfort and peace no matter where you are. Again~ God’s fighting words. Deuteronomy 11:18a, John 15:11 ⁃ I listen to uplifting music. Music that is centered around Christ and glorifies Him can change your heart in ways nothing else can. Here is an album that brought me much comfort back in March. https://music.apple.com/us/album/hidden-in-my-heart-a-lullaby-journey-through-scripture/464465132 Fighting words. Psalms 104:33-34, Ephesians 5:19, Colossians 3:16 ⁃ And for those times when nothing seemed to help, I literally sat in bed and cried. I imagined that I was curled up in my Savior’s arms, because deep down I knew that I truly was, and I cried and cried. No words came, but I knew that God knew the words of my heart. These were the Holy Spirit’s fighting words. Romans 8:26,27, Psalm 16:11, 56:8-13, 63:6, 91:1-16 ⁃ If you are trying to do life in your own strength, if you are scared or anxious, sad or stressed, if you are trying to be like someone else instead of who God made you to be, if you are trying to work your way into God’s good graces, if you are fooling yourself into thinking that you are too screwed up for God to love you or help you, if you’ve convinced yourself that He is angry or disappointed with you~ then you are basing your relationship with Him on works instead of His redemption. I know because I have lived all of those scenarios. The last time I was feeling this way, going through some hard moments, God pricked my heart to look up the word redeemed and He showed me something that really stuck~ the very definition of redemption. Isaiah 43:1 “Redemption refers to the deliverance of Christians from sin. It assumes an important position in salvation because the transgressions in question form part of a great system against which human power is helpless”. Human power is helpless. I can’t get past that fear or stress, anxiety or depression because I alone am helpless. BUT CHRIST IN ME! Those are fighting words. I am redeemed. He is my power. He will fight for me. He will carry me through that battlefield of my mind right over to the other side. And He will carry you too my friend. Exodus 15:13 And guys, it will change your life.
5/25/2020
Walls Around Your HeartWALLS AROUND YOUR HEART
There were walls that surrounded my heart. They had been there for years. They started off small, but slowly I added to them. Year after year, brick after brick, I added to those walls until my heart was completely surrounded. No one could break through. No one could hurt me again. I would not be vulnerable. I would protect myself. But in the darkness of those walls that surrounded me, my heart got cold. It was a continual battle of my own making. I would not allow anyone in. I became insecure. I had trust issues. Bitterness slowly crept in. I thought that if I just stayed behind these walls, I would be safe. Deep down I knew, I had built up walls against God as well. Despite all my efforts at trying to change, the walls would not come down. I was too scared to let anyone in. I was too scared of being hurt again. I was stuck. Instead of giving God each circumstance that hurt me, I built the walls higher, and though I lied and told myself I didn’t, I blamed Him. Why didn’t He step in and stop that from happening? Why did He allow my heart to get so hurt? I always boasted that I never questioned God. Deep down I truly thought that I had faith in Him. That He has a reason for everything that happened, but I realized I was wrong~ I had blamed Him. And now it was too late. The wall was too high for me to climb. It was too hard. I couldn’t break it down. Some days I beat on it over and over and over, but I couldn’t stop the fear, the mistrust and the insecurities. And I fell on my face before God and cried. I cried and I cried. So many wasted years. I was of no use to Him now. How could I be? But then He called my name. He opened my eyes and He showed me. I didn’t have to break those walls down. I didn’t have to try to climb over them. There~ in the darkness that overwhelmed me~was a door. A door called grace. It had been there all along. He whispered to my aching heart that He was that door. All I need do was open it and walk through. I would be free. I hesitated. I hesitated for a very long time. I was scared to open that door and become vulnerable. I couldn’t do it. I cried and told Him that I couldn’t do it. I was too scared. And that’s when He picked me up and He carried me. He opened that door and He walked through it~ with me in His arms. And as He walked through that door, those walls came crashing down behind us until nothing was left. The darkness was gone. I was completely engulfed in the beautiful Light of the world. I was free because~ I was free in Him and through Him. I was finally free. John 8:12, 8:36
4/16/2020
Fix Your Eyes On JesusI’ll never forget the Easter my cousin Erick decided to dress up as the Easter bunny. We were in middle school, and both our brothers were much younger. He thought it would be fun to surprise them. It had the opposite effect. When his younger brother Peter saw him, he was petrified. He started crying and wouldn’t stop. We tried to comfort him but nothing helped. My cousin repeatedly told him- “It’s me, your brother. You don’t have to be afraid. I’m right here.” But the crying persisted. My poor little cousin was looking into the face of fear, despite the words of comfort he was hearing. It wasn’t until Erick took off that bunny mask that Peter finally calmed down and realized, it was his brother all along. This Easter many of us are looking at all the quarantine masks and our hearts are petrified. We are looking into the face of fear, instead of the face of our Savior. His words of comfort are constantly reminding us that He is with us always, but fear has such a grip on our hearts that we cannot be comforted by His very words... “fear not”, “be not afraid”, “I am with you always”. Can I encourage you today to trust the One Who loves us so much that He sent His very Son to die for us? To trust the One Who promises us a home in heaven if we accept the beautiful gift of His Son. To trust the One Who tells us He will be with us always. ALWAYS. Why is it that we can have the faith to trust that God will take us to heaven when we die, but our faith falls short when we have to trust Him to take care of us physically or monetarily? I think it’s because we know that what Jesus did on the cross for us is what assures us a home in heaven~not anything that we ourselves have done, or could ever do. Our sins are completely forgiven because of Jesus alone. The situation changes when it comes to our physical bodies, and the well being of those we love. Somehow we think we are the ones in control of things here on earth. Our health. Our finances. Our futures. When things become out of control, fear invades our hearts instead of faith. Romans 8:31,32. Stop looking into the face of fear and dwelling there. Stop watching the news all day. Stop the googling and social media. Sit at your Savior’s feet and soak in His comfort and peace. When you stop looking into the face of fear, you will realize your Heavenly Father has been with you all along. Romans 8:35,37-39. Fix your eyes on Jesus. He is in you. He gives you the power to overcome. The power that we could never achieve on our own. Power, even when things of this world are out of control. John 1:12. The Coronavirus is no surprise to Him. I John 3:20. My cousin asked his brother if he wanted to hold the bunny mask. Reluctantly, Peter took it. He looked at it, and with tears still streaming down his little cheeks~he gave it right back. We all laughed and soon he was laughing too. We don’t have to wait until we remove the quarantine masks for our fears to subside. We don’t have to wait until we remove the masks to realize God has been right here with us all along. Exodus 33:14. Give all that fear right back to your Heavenly Father. Find your laughter again. And hear him reassuring you over and over- “It’s me. Your Father. You don’t have to be afraid. I am right here.”
3/25/2020
All The What If’sALL THE “WHAT IF’S”~ COVID-19
I’ll never forget that night long ago. The phone call came after midnight. At a time when all we had were land lines, a phone call late at night usually meant something was wrong. My daughter was on the other end crying. She was only in grade school and had gone down to the city to stay with my in laws for a week. What was supposed to be a fun time ended up being very scary for her. She was a small town girl and found herself in the big city with a lot of unknowns. And she was scared. I’m sure as she lay there that night her mind got the best of her. She had heard stories of her daddy growing up here~ getting his bike stolen right out from under him, his brother getting mugged while doing his paper route, their house getting broken into. Suddenly her heart was filled with all the what if’s. Fear got the best of her. Let me tell you, that was hard for me. I wanted to do everything in my power to make my child feel safe and not scared, but we lived two hours away. Somehow she would have to handle this without me. And as a mother, that kept me awake all night. Even though I knew there was no imminent danger at the moment, just like my daughter, my mind started thinking of all the what if’s and fear grabbed a hold of it instead of faith. And today~fear seems to be getting a hold of my heart more and more as each day passes. One moment I feel as if I’m on a beach, listening to the peaceful waves of God’s word softly hit my shoreline and wash away all my worry~but in the distance I see a tidal wave moving closer and closer to my safe place. The closer it gets, the more fear grabs a hold of my heart. I pray and tell God I’m leaving this in His hands and trusting Him, because I know this is no surprise to Him. I know He is in control, but a minute later I’m snatching all my fears right back. What if? What if? What if? Christians everywhere are posting on social media not to be afraid. To trust God. To find comfort in Him. I’ll be honest ladies. God is my refuge, yet I find myself being afraid. Afraid for my children and grandchildren. My father and my in laws. My extended family. I find my heart hurting for all you mothers who can’t be with your children and grandchildren. Who are too far away to see them on a daily basis and get that reassurance that they are okay. If there is one thing I am absolutely confident of amidst all the unknowns, it is this~God knows. He knows my human heart. He knows my fears. He knows what will happen today, tomorrow, next month, next year. He’s not asking me to not be cautious. To not use wisdom. To not be scared. He’s simply asking that I allow Him to hold me and comfort me and seek His peace and presence through all of this. In return, He promises that He will give it. That night so long ago, I decided my daughter would not face this fear without me. I stayed on the phone with her until she fell asleep. Somehow knowing I was on the other end and hearing my voice calmed her scared heart. In the morning her daddy showed up with reinforcements~her sister. God will stay with our troubled hearts until we can find that serenity. He will show up. Make no mistake. In His timing He will pull us through all of this. Don’t feel bad for your fear. Even if you have to talk to God all night long. Speak to Him often throughout your day. Cry your heart out to Him. Tell Him you’re scared. He is your Daddy and He understands. And as each new morning dawns you will find His reassuring presence right there next to you, as you face another day of unknowns and what if’s. He will never leave you. Funny thing, my daughter felt less anxious having her sister there, and I believe all of us can take a lesson from that. We are sisters and we have each other~ to lean on and pray with , to share our burdens and concerns, to laugh with and cry with. The next night the two of them were eating Chips Ahoy cookies together in bed, having the time of their life. All fear gone. Let’s look to our future, knowing God holds all our tomorrows. Let’s look forward to the simple things, like sharing a package of Chips Ahoy cookies and a cold glass of milk together. Together sounds wonderful right about now. 😊💗
3/19/2020
Don’t Be Scared, I Am HereDON’T BE SCARED, I AM HERE.
2 min read As we sat in the hospital waiting room, we finally heard the lullaby playing over the speakers. Every time a baby was born the lullaby played. We were so excited. We were sure our little Ellie had made her grand entrance. But the wait continued, with no proud father emerging. When my son in law finally came through the door, we all knew something was wrong. They had taken Ellie away immediately. She had a collapsed lung and in the process of taking care of her, the doctor found out she had a serious strep b infection. I can remember standing next to my daughter and looking across the hall as they all worked on little Ellie. When they came in and told us they had to transfer her to a larger hospital 30 minutes away, Jessica was devastated. They would not allow her to go. She hadn’t even gotten to hold her child, or even see her. My husband stayed next to Ellie in the NICU that whole night trying to bring some sort of comfort to Jessica, but the next morning despite many obstacles, Jessica walked through that door to her child. She whispered the barely audible words “I’m here Ellie. Mama’s here” In that moment I saw my daughter in a different light. She was my hero. She endured tremendous pain to be there for her child. Her love for her daughter was overwhelmingly beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. I remembered the pain of child birth and the amount of time I was allowed to recuperate in my hospital bed, yet here she stood next to her child just hours after giving birth. The love she had drew every ounce of strength from her weak body so that she could be there for her baby. The love of a mother is fierce, it transcends all obstacles for its child. That love, that incredible fierce love we have for our kids is only a shallow puddle compared to the ocean of love our Heavenly Father has for us. His love transcends all obstacles. His love endured tremendous pain on the cross for us, because of our sins. He took all our brokenness and sin and nailed it to that cross where His only Son died in our place. John 3:16. Ellie didn’t do a thing to deserve Jessica’s love. She was born into it and it was all hers. Jessica loved her because she was her child. There’s nothing we can do to deserve Gods love either. God loves you and wants you to be born again. Born into His family. John 1:12, 3:3. No amount of good works could take Christ place on that cross. Ephesians 2:8-9. No amount of church attendance could wipe away the pain that He endured. Acts 4:12. He gave the very gift of Himself to us. John 5:24 The gift of life. Once you believe that such a love is possible~your heart will be changed and you will desire to give all of it to the One Who could love you that much. Our ultimate Hero. And when you truly understand that God’s love is fully yours, your heart will know without a doubt that He will do everything, EVERYTHING, to take care of you, His child. No matter the circumstance, we are not alone. Almighty God, the Creator of this universe, the Giver of life and peace and strength~ He is in us. He is with us. He is in control and He will take care of us. Think about what Jessica and mothers everywhere have endured, and overcome for their children. The bible tells us that if our earthly parents will go to such extents~ how much more will our Heavenly Father do for us. Luke 11:13 He is whispering to our souls even now~ Don’t be scared~ I AM HERE, I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS. Matthew 28:20 This is His promise. Believe His words. He will not fail us. Because not only is He our Hero~ He’s our Daddy and we are His child. |
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