5/25/2020
Walls Around Your HeartWALLS AROUND YOUR HEART
There were walls that surrounded my heart. They had been there for years. They started off small, but slowly I added to them. Year after year, brick after brick, I added to those walls until my heart was completely surrounded. No one could break through. No one could hurt me again. I would not be vulnerable. I would protect myself. But in the darkness of those walls that surrounded me, my heart got cold. It was a continual battle of my own making. I would not allow anyone in. I became insecure. I had trust issues. Bitterness slowly crept in. I thought that if I just stayed behind these walls, I would be safe. Deep down I knew, I had built up walls against God as well. Despite all my efforts at trying to change, the walls would not come down. I was too scared to let anyone in. I was too scared of being hurt again. I was stuck. Instead of giving God each circumstance that hurt me, I built the walls higher, and though I lied and told myself I didn’t, I blamed Him. Why didn’t He step in and stop that from happening? Why did He allow my heart to get so hurt? I always boasted that I never questioned God. Deep down I truly thought that I had faith in Him. That He has a reason for everything that happened, but I realized I was wrong~ I had blamed Him. And now it was too late. The wall was too high for me to climb. It was too hard. I couldn’t break it down. Some days I beat on it over and over and over, but I couldn’t stop the fear, the mistrust and the insecurities. And I fell on my face before God and cried. I cried and I cried. So many wasted years. I was of no use to Him now. How could I be? But then He called my name. He opened my eyes and He showed me. I didn’t have to break those walls down. I didn’t have to try to climb over them. There~ in the darkness that overwhelmed me~was a door. A door called grace. It had been there all along. He whispered to my aching heart that He was that door. All I need do was open it and walk through. I would be free. I hesitated. I hesitated for a very long time. I was scared to open that door and become vulnerable. I couldn’t do it. I cried and told Him that I couldn’t do it. I was too scared. And that’s when He picked me up and He carried me. He opened that door and He walked through it~ with me in His arms. And as He walked through that door, those walls came crashing down behind us until nothing was left. The darkness was gone. I was completely engulfed in the beautiful Light of the world. I was free because~ I was free in Him and through Him. I was finally free. John 8:12, 8:36 |
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