All The What If’s

ALL THE “WHAT IF’S”~ COVID-19

I’ll never forget that night long ago. The phone call came after midnight.

At a time when all we had were land lines, a phone call late at night usually meant something was wrong.

My daughter was on the other end crying. She was only in grade school and had gone down to the city to stay with my in laws for a week.

What was supposed to be a fun time ended up being very scary for her. She was a small town girl and found herself in the big city with a lot of unknowns.

And she was scared.

I’m sure as she lay there that night her mind got the best of her. She had heard stories of her daddy growing up here~ getting his bike stolen right out from under him, his brother getting mugged while doing his paper route, their house getting broken into.

Suddenly her heart was filled with all the what if’s. Fear got the best of her.

Let me tell you, that was hard for me. I wanted to do everything in my power to make my child feel safe and not scared, but we lived two hours away. Somehow she would have to handle this without me.

And as a mother, that kept me awake all night.

Even though I knew there was no imminent danger at the moment, just like my daughter, my mind started thinking of all the what if’s and fear grabbed a hold of it instead of faith.

And today~fear seems to be getting a hold of my heart more and more as each day passes.

One moment I feel as if I’m on a beach, listening to the peaceful waves of God’s word softly hit my shoreline and wash away all my worry~but in the distance I see a tidal wave moving closer and closer to my safe place. The closer it gets, the more fear grabs a hold of my heart.

I pray and tell God I’m leaving this in His hands and trusting Him, because I know this is no surprise to Him. I know He is in control, but a minute later I’m snatching all my fears right back.

What if?
What if?
What if?

Christians everywhere are posting on social media not to be afraid. To trust God. To find comfort in Him.

I’ll be honest ladies.
God is my refuge, yet I find myself being afraid.

Afraid for my children and grandchildren. My father and my in laws. My extended family.

I find my heart hurting for all you mothers who can’t be with your children and grandchildren. Who are too far away to see them on a daily basis and get that reassurance that they are okay.

If there is one thing I am absolutely confident of amidst all the unknowns,
it is this~God knows.

He knows my human heart. He knows my fears. He knows what will happen today, tomorrow, next month, next year.

He’s not asking me to not be cautious.
To not use wisdom.
To not be scared.

He’s simply asking that I allow Him to hold me and comfort me and seek His peace and presence through all of this.

In return, He promises that He will give it.

That night so long ago, I decided my daughter would not face this fear without me. I stayed on the phone with her until she fell asleep. Somehow knowing I was on the other end and hearing my voice calmed her scared heart. In the morning her daddy showed up with reinforcements~her sister.

God will stay with our troubled hearts until we can find that serenity.

He will show up. Make no mistake.

In His timing He will pull us through all of this.

Don’t feel bad for your fear.
Even if you have to talk to God all night long. Speak to Him often throughout your day. Cry your heart out to Him. Tell Him you’re scared. He is your Daddy and He understands. And as each new morning dawns you will find His reassuring presence right there next to you, as you face another day of unknowns and what if’s. He will never leave you.

Funny thing, my daughter felt less anxious having her sister there, and I believe all of us can take a lesson from that.

We are sisters and we have each other~
to lean on and pray with , to share our burdens and concerns, to laugh with and cry with.

The next night the two of them were eating Chips Ahoy cookies together in bed, having the time of their life. All fear gone.

Let’s look to our future, knowing God holds all our tomorrows. Let’s look forward to the simple things, like sharing a package of Chips Ahoy cookies and a cold glass of milk together.

Together sounds wonderful right about now. 😊💗