6/28/2020
Dear Daddies EverywhereDEAR DADDIES EVERYWHERE
When did it happen? This little boy turned into a little man. I wanted to squeeze him tight, and whisper urgings to ‘please stop growing so fast’. I could see him as I rode my bike his way. Walking alone from my dad’s house to his own. I stopped and asked where his little feet were taking him. “I’m getting my fishing pole” he replied. His next words hit me hard~ ”My daddy told me he trusts me”. Was he really that old already? Wasn’t it just yesterday he was sitting on his daddy’s lap? What happened to my baby grandson? He was a little man. Alone, fetching his fishing supplies. I smiled as I watched him gather them up and walk back to my dad’s. He informed me he didn’t need any help. I watched as he put the worm on his hook, as he threw his line out and reeled It in. Over and over. All by himself. A little man that his dad trusted. I thought about the man who was teaching him. His daddy. I thought about all the lessons and habits he would imitate just from watching him. Even now he wanted to be like him. Casting and re-casting. Not giving up. And I thought about his little eyes looking up into his dad’s and seeing a picture of his Heavenly Daddy. We as moms can get so overwhelmed in the mothering, but the same holds true for dads. Sometimes the responsibilities of being a father can be overwhelming. But time passes quickly and every action and reaction shows your children a picture of God and how they will view Him. Whether that means a daddy that has patience, mercy and forgiveness, comfort and love, or a daddy that gets angry easily and has no time for his children because his life is too busy. Daddies everywhere, I wonder if your Heavenly Father is looking down at you and saying- I’m trusting you. I’m trusting you to be a picture of me to your children, the children I gave you. I’m trusting you to teach them through your actions what forgiveness and mercy mean. What love means. What being a daddy is all about. I’m trusting you. There might be times that you mess up, but just like my little man kept putting the worms on his hook and casting his line, he did not give up. Ultimately he wanted his daddy to be proud of him. One day you will be watching this little man of yours as he holds his newborn son. No longer your little boy. You will wish for more time. You will wish for that moment back. That moment he was sitting on your lap as you taught him to fish. You will have to let go and trust him to be the daddy God wants Him to be. He will teach his son all the things that you taught him. Four generations all present as my grandson cast his line that day. His daddy, his BaPa and his Pops all stood watching. I’m sure for my husband and dad, many memories came flooding back of moments with their own boys at this age. Just like it was yesterday. The time is fleeting. They are grown and gone before you know it. Daddies everywhere, does your son see Jesus in you? Do you strive to be like Jesus in everything you do? Is that what he will remember? Don’t give up. Keep up the work. Be that example to your children. Strive to be like your Heavenly Father. Be that picture of Jesus they need to see. It’s never too late. Your Heavenly Father is looking down and telling you~ those children are a gift I gave to you. I trust you. Show them a picture of me.
6/8/2020
I Will Always Be MomI WILL ALWAYS BE MOM
It’s so easy when they’re little. They look up at you with wide eyes, and soak up every word. They believe you. You’re mom, so your words to them must be true. “You’re so beautiful.” You’re such a big boy.” “Hold on to my hand when we cross the street.” “Don’t talk to strangers.” “You’re doing great.” But then~ Things change. It gets harder. You can see it in their little eyes. Trusting innocence is missing and it squeezes your heart. “Don’t listen to what those kids are saying about you. You are beautiful. You are strong. “Don’t let go of my hand around your friends. Don’t be embarrassed to hug me one more time...” And your heart says~ “Not yet. I’m not ready. You’re still my little one~ No matter how old you get, I will always hold your hand. I will never let go. I will always be here. I will always be mom.” And then~ It gets even harder. Their eyes roll as you speak. It hurts, but you pretend that it doesn’t as you scold. “Don’t hang around with that crowd.” “Don’t let go of God’s hand.” “Don’t fall for that person. They don’t love you. They don’t treat you right~ God has so much more for you.” And then~ Their eyes sparkle with happiness. You breathe that sigh of relief. When God worked on their hearts and held their hands. When God brought a spouse that loved them with the love you prayed for all along. When you thought the “don’t’s” were behind you~ you find yourself being a mom still. Because that’s what moms do. They protect. They pray over. They worry and they warn. Because they’ve lived it. They’ve seen things that cause happiness and hope. Joy and forgiveness. Comfort and love. But they’ve also seen heartache. Things that cause pain. Things that tear you away from your spouse. Away from God. You speak your heart. Inside it screams~ please listen to me. They say “thank’s mom”, but their eyes say~ “mom can be so dramatic about things .” They say “I know mom”, but their eyes say~ “mom worries about way too much.” And deep inside, your heart whispers~ ”No matter how old you get, I will always hold your hand. I will never let go. I will always be mom. “ And then the day comes that their eyes are looking into the little eyes of their own children, the eyes that soak up every word. The little eyes that don’t trust. The eyes that roll when they speak. And your child looks your way. Their eyes catch yours and they say, “I understand mom.” Their eyes say “thank you.” And their eyes soak up everything you say again, because they’ve been there. They’ve seen the things that cause heartache and pain, and they don’t want their little ones to go through those same things. They’ve also seen the things that bring happiness and hope. Joy and forgiveness. Comfort and love. And with a smile, they lean in and whisper to their little one~ “I will always hold your hand. I will never let go. I will always be mom.”
5/14/2020
Happy Mother’s Day!HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
2 minute read I’ve been a mother for 34 of the 35 years I’ve been married~ but I remember... I couldn’t wait for him to come through the door. We had only been dating a month, but my heart knew it was love. Every time he walked in, my world felt like sunshine and happiness. It felt like forever. And then... I couldn’t wait for him to come through the door. The baby had been crying all day. Potty training and terrible two’s, piled on top of the sleepless nights of a newborn. I felt depleted and alone and just wanted help. A break. When he walked in, I just wanted to check out. My respite from a long day that seemed to feel like forever. Little kids fighting grew into teenagers back talking. In those blurred moments there were times I lost sight of the beauty of motherhood and what a precious gift it was. Sometimes I lost sight of my first forever love, and took it out on him. When did it stop? With each phase of mothering, a little piece of that “first forever feeling” got taken away. When did his presence become what I wanted FROM him instead of the love I had FOR him? But then... I couldn’t wait for him to come through the door. The house had been so quiet lately. I had so much to tell him. As I sat and waited, all my first “forever” feelings came flooding back. I could picture him walking through the door those first few months of dating. My heart smiled as I remembered. Crying babies and terrible two’s seemed so long ago. What I thought felt like forever went by in the blink of an eye. The good far outweighed the bad. I saw that now, and I was so thankful for every minute of it. I was so thankful for every minute that lay ahead. My forever future with the daddy of my children. Mama, one of the best things you can give your children is to show them how much you love their daddy. It will change the way you mother. It will change your children. It will change your marriage. It will change your forever. Sometimes I think moms turn mothering into martyrdom. Being a mom is a gift from God. There will be times we are depleted, times we feel alone and needy. There will be times we want to be appreciated, but don’t allow yourself to become the martyr. That’s not what being a mom is at all. Being a mom is a beautiful result and celebration of the love you share with your husband. A glorious picture of the love Christ has for us. A selfless love. A love that brings true joy. Mother’s Day is our celebration of that love. Our children are paying attention. Their behavior is learned by watching our relationships. Let’s make sure we aren’t teaching them to go to God only for what we want FROM Him and not because of the love we have FOR Him. Don’t ever use the sacredness of motherhood as an excuse to become a martyr. Put the pieces of your “forever first love” back together. It’s never too late. You hold the gift of showing your children how precious being a mother is and why we celebrate it~not just on Mothers Day, but every day~ from now until forever. “Who is left among you that saw this house in her first glory? and how do ye see it now?” Haggai 2:3 “Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.” Revelation 2:4
4/8/2020
Everything Will ChangeEVERYTHING WILL CHANGE
2 minute read When my husband’s sister passed away in 2003, all our lives were torn apart. Everything changed. She left behind 6 children. Her youngest only 6 days old. I saw how it affected my husband and my children. I saw how it affected her husband, her children, her parents and siblings, her church family. I saw how it affected me. I decided my life would be different. I would give of myself more. I would invest in other’s lives. I would spend more quality time with my children instead of stressing over a clean house, schedules and “to do’s”. I would love on my husband more fiercely, forgive more readily. I wouldn’t get irritated and argue with him over stupid things. I would be selfless and put his needs before my own. Because I did not know how much time I had left with the ones I loved, and I wanted it to be precious. Yes everything changed.... for a while. Slowly, as the years went by and life became more normal again~ I forgot those decisions. And every once in a while my heart would be pricked, because I wasn’t following through. I always blew it off. Surely God understood how busy I was~ I had schedules to keep. I had a house to keep clean. I had too much on my plate to help that person. I had every right to get irritated with my husband. But deep down, I knew that wasn’t true. We make the time for the ones we love. We forgive, we give of ourselves, we love selflessly. Deep down, I knew~ I just loved myself more. As we sit in our houses and reflect on this time~As we think about our lives and what will change~As we pray desperately for the safety of our loved ones~As we give God our moments~As we search His promises for peace~As we watch the news and cry and pray~As we realize how very precious our families truly are~As our eyes are opened to what is most important in our lives. Let’s not ever forget. One year from now. Two years from now. If and when our lives become our normal again. We cannot ever forget. We will make new choices. We will determine to put God first. To spend time with Him. To make the time for our children despite our list of “to-do’s” and love on our spouses more fiercely. We will determine to forgive more readily. We will not allow busyness to take over our family time. We will give of ourselves to others. Until we don’t. Until the years go by and we slowly forget this horrible, terrible, life changing virus that has encapsulated our entire world. Because our lives will be our normal again. But for some, their lives will forever be changed because this virus took someone that was precious to them. Mark this day and the next and the next. Write notes in your bible to remember. Take pictures. Cut out newspaper articles. Create memories. Remember. Please remember. And pray for the future God has for us. Pray that we don’t ever forget. And one day, let us look back on our memories and notes and pictures. Let us relive it and be reminded how good God is to us. How much He has blessed us with. Then hug on your babies a little tighter. Kiss on your spouse a little longer. Give of yourself to your neighbors a little more and give God every part of every day. Because we don’t know how much time we have left. Maybe this virus has made us all more aware and because of that, we can be thankful, because of that~ Everything will change.
2/26/2020
I Miss My KidsI MISS MY KIDS
Tonight I walked upstairs to brush my teeth and it hit me. I miss my kids. How many times had I walked up these very stairs to tuck them in at night? They don’t live across the country. They don’t even live an hour away. They live right here in my hometown. But now and then, I still miss them. I miss washing dinner dishes on a Monday night, as I hear them all laughing with their daddy in the other room. I miss all of us squeezing in together on the couch for family movie night. I miss having an after school snack ready for them as they walked through the door. I miss helping them with homework and school projects, floats and parades. I miss telling them to get their pajamas on and brush their teeth. I miss praying with them every night, kissing them and tucking them in. I miss checking on them in the soft moon light and watching them sleep. I miss getting them all ready for church, and the chaos of getting out the door on time. I miss watching them play in the backyard, washing dirty clothes and folding endless laundry. I miss their bad dreams and long nights. I miss being exhausted from those long nights, because they were there next to me so I could keep them safe. I miss hearing them fight and watching them make up. I miss their snuggles, love notes and hand written coupons on every special occasion for “extra kisses and hugs”. I miss telling them to pick up their toys and clean their rooms every single day. I miss cheering them on for every sport activity or band performance. I miss being at the school to help them with costumes or watch Christmas plays or bring in birthday snacks. I miss the magic of Christmas morning and the fun of Easter baskets. I miss their smell, their laughter, their endless questions. I miss them needing me. Everything you think is so wonderful and everything you think is so very hard~ Young mama~ that’s what I miss. And someday when they are grown and married and you wonder what they’ve been up to and how they are, when you wish you could spend just a little more time or talk a little longer, when they tell you they are busy or laugh and say you’re being nosey~ You remember this day. Today. Today when you get to do all the hard stuff. Because at the end of today~ you get to hold them close, you get to feel their soft kisses and hear their little declarations of love. And tomorrow mama, tomorrow you get to do it all over again, until the tomorrow comes when you don’t get to anymore. 
2/10/2020
Can God Restore What Is So Broken?CAN GOD RESTORE WHAT IS SO BROKEN?
I could hear them screaming at each other upstairs. Again. Crying ensued followed by slamming doors and the words “I hate you!”. This was a daily occurrence and one that broke my heart. Teenage sisters living in the same room. One mirror. Three girls. Daily fights. I didn’t have a sister. I always wanted one. This was not what I imagined when they were little. I had this idea that they would grow up to be best friends. Sharing secrets and dreams. Doing each other’s hair, sharing outfits, actually wanting to be together. I never imagined feeling exhausted before my day even began. I never imagined myself crying as they left for school every day or begging God to heal a relationship that I thought could never be healed. I kid you not, it was something that went on almost every day for a year. I truly believe they hated each other that year. It was something I went to God about daily, begging Him to change hearts and restore what was broken. I have to admit, I didn’t have a whole lot of faith when I went to Him. I wasn’t sure He could restore what was SO broken. But He could. And He showed me it had nothing to do with me being some perfect parent and everything to do with Him being a perfect Savior. It had nothing to do with my prayers but everything to do with His promises. Yes He wanted me to go to Him in my despair. Yes He wanted me to lean on Him, have faith in Him, trust Him for the healing~ but when my flesh failed me, He did not. Don’t ever stop praying mama, even after your prayers have been answered. It’s not the power of your prayers that will make a difference in your children’s lives it’s the power of the One who hears our prayers and answers. And He will answer. It might take years. It did in my situation and there are still moments where those old days flare their ugly head and the deceiver tries to convince those girls that some things never change. But God. God is faithful. He is more powerful. His Spirit continually reminds them to think on what is true and good and righteous. To love like He loves and forgive as He forgives. He softens their hearts and He reminds them Who their hearts belong to. So go to Him mama. He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother (or sister)~~ but it’s a beautiful thing when that sister is also a best friend.
1/1/2020
Step Through That DoorSTEP THROUGH THAT DOOR
2019~ I want to linger here a little longer. Perhaps it’s because I realize each year seems to pass more quickly than the last. Time is fleeting. I want to linger in the Christmas magic. I don’t want it to be over already. I want to linger in the childlike wonder of my grandchildren. I want to linger in the sounds of their tiny little voices as they tell me all about their moments and their days. I want to linger as they hand me Christmas pictures they drew. I want to linger in their snuggles, before they are too old to want to snuggle anymore. Just like I wanted to linger when my own children were that age. Yes, I want to linger, but I know I can’t. Where did the year go? No, I don’t want 2019 to end. But I hold out my hand, I ask God to take it and I step through the door of 2020. This is Gods plan. Not to look back. Not to hold on to the past, but to look forward to the future. Philippians 3:13 As hard as it was at times to watch my children grow up and out of the childlike wonder Christmas held for them, I look at them now, and the glow of Christmas still lights up their eyes. The smile on their faces on Christmas morning still takes me back and the pride I have for the adults they’ve become still brings tears. And I can see it. I can see all of the same things in my grand babies eyes~ and it’s magical. I can see a future wrapped up in Jesus. And that brings tears. They were being naughty the other day. I was trying to get them to calm down and behave, so I turned on a Christmas movie. It didn’t have the desired effect I was hoping for. Naughtiness still ensued. Jumping on the couch. Doing somersaults on the floor. Asking a thousand times how many more days until they could open their presents. So I asked the one who was misbehaving most~“Clara, are you paying attention to the movie?” She looked at me and nodded, so I asked~“Then what’s the best way to spread Christmas cheer?” (If you’ve seen the movie you know the answer- ‘singing loud for all to hear’.) Suddenly the room got very quiet. The other grandchildren were sure she would get it wrong. In the softest, sweetest voice she answered~ “Jesus” And she meant it. No questions. No hesitating. It’s a future of moments like this that I can’t wait to unwrap. It’s hard to let go of the past. It’s hard to see our babies become adults. But the sweetness the years bring when those years are wrapped up in Jesus is a future that’s filled with hope and love. Joy and excitement. Peace. Philippians 4:7 Yes I will step through the door of 2020 and spread that Christmas cheer. I may want to linger still, but I will look ahead to a future wrapped up in the excitement and joy that only Jesus can bring. Clara got it so right. The door of new beginnings. The door of possibilities. The door of joy and peace. The door that only Jesus can open. Jesus. Look ahead. Take His hand and step through that door with me. 2020 Happy New Year dear friends!
12/19/2019
December 19th, 2019TUCKED AWAY IN A MAMA’S HEART~
“But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” Luke 2:19 There are so many emotions tucked away in a mama’s heart. The older she gets, the more that heart fills~ It fills with all the precious memories of days gone by. It fills with the pictures of tiny faces declaring their love. It fills with thoughts of arms once full, that now are empty. It fills with wonder at why she wanted time to go by so quickly and stop~ all at once. There are happy emotions and there are sad. There is the knowing at how life can turn out, and having to watch her children make decisions that she knows will have consequences. Choices that she made herself. Warnings that she wants to give because she has lived it. There are pleas to the Father to hold them close and not let go. To protect them and give them hearts that are always listening for His gentle whispers of love. Each step in a mama’s life is a new journey. As she looks into the face of her tiny baby child for the first time, she suddenly realizes how loved she truly was by her own mama. But until she takes that next step, she doesn’t understand her mama’s heart today, this very moment, and all the emotions it contains. Someday she will. Someday she will be looking into the tiny eyes of her children’s children and a flood of yesterdays will rush over her as a flood of tomorrow’s take their place. And she will know so much of what those tomorrow’s hold because she has a heart of wisdom from days gone by. Her children may wonder and worry as each new step is taken in this journey of motherhood. But dear daughter, she has lived it and breathed it. She has witnessed your future up until this point. Like footprints in the snow, she is leaving a path for you to follow. With age she has realized more and more that the farther away those steps take her from the days she held you in her arms, the closer her steps are to her Savior. There is a sweetness that comes with each step. A peace and a comfort she longs for you to have. Because she is no longer making her own footprints, she is walking in His. She trusts in the path He is leaving her. She knows she no longer has to make her own way, but can blindly follow the leading of a Father who knows what is best. Walk behind her in her wisdom, Walk beside her in her age. And just as you grasped her hands so tightly as you took your very first steps, don’t let go~ No matter how old you are~ Hold on to her hand now as she leads you forward Always knowing~ He is leading her as she is holding His. Ponder the path you are leaving for your children and your children’s children. ❤️ Psalm 33:21, 56:3-4, Isaiah 26:3-4 Philippians 4:6-7 John 14:27
12/4/2019
Dirty Dishes & Christmas ChaosDIRTY DISHES & CHRISTMAS CHAOS
I wrote this post to encourage young mothers but yesterday as I read it, God spoke to this grandma’s heart about how much I needed these very words. Amidst all the chaos of this season~ I just need Him. As darkness still covered the world in the early morning hours, how many of those mornings did she cry? How she longed for just a little time alone with her Savior. Just one morning. But again, little footsteps interrupted. Little cry’s from a crib down the hall. Little pleas for breakfast and snuggles. Why couldn’t she just have one moment? Dear mama, don’t you realize~ He is in every moment. Somehow we look at our lives and see our peace and comfort coming from things we think we need~ And if we don’t get that, we can tend to be irritated and down or depressed and angry. Just one moment. Why can’t it be ours? Sweet mama, amidst all the chaos surrounding you throughout your day~ The phone ringing. The dog barking. The cartoons on television. The baby crying. The laundry piled everywhere and the dishes in the sink. Close your eyes. And see Him. He is there. He is always there. Every single moment is not ours, It is His. He is there next to you every morning in that darkness. He is smiling at your child. He is whispering His love to their hearts and to yours. He is singing lullabies to your baby and snuggling with your toddler. He is providing breakfast for hungry tummy’s and blankets for morning snuggles. He is sitting right there next to you and He is listening. He can hear your very heart, even when you can’t hear it yourself. He understands exactly what we need~more than we even do, or ever could. He longs for you to know He is ever present. He isn’t only there in your morning worship and prayers. He isn’t only there in a church building or a praise song. He promises us that He is with us ALWAYS, and at times that is hard for our human minds to comprehend. He is with you right this very moment. He is standing next to you as the phone rings and the dog barks. As the cartoons play and the baby cries. As the laundry piles up and the dishes need washing. If need be~ stop everything and literally picture Him there. Don’t only speak to Him throughout your day, but ask Him to speak to you. He is right there next to you and once your heart understands this, truly understands this~ everything changes. He is shushing your anxious heart and whispering to your soul~ “Right now, I just need you to be a mama. My glory shines in the smile of your little one, in the home you are making, in the little, everyday, seemingly unimportant tasks of a mama. My glory shines through you sweet mama. I am here, right here next to you. You don’t need a few moments alone. You only need me~ And I am ALWAYS~right here.”  Psalm 139:7-10 Hebrews 13:5 Joshua 1:5 Deuteronomy 31:6,8 Matthew 11:28 Philippians 4:13, 19
11/20/2019
Don’t Wish For Time To FlyDON’T WISH FOR TIME TO FLY
Dear Daughter~ Don’t wish for time to fly. Don’t wish to grow up too soon~ To be in school, or junior high, high school or college. To be married and then wish you could have a house and children. And then to wish those children right past the baby years and then the toddler years, the terrible twos or the hormonal teens. Don’t wish to have an empty nest and time to yourself. Soon enough dear daughter, all these things will come to pass~ and one day you will wish that you hadn’t wished them away so quickly. That you looked for the incredible joy in every single moment of every single day. Savor the wonder of your childhood~ your baby dolls, your make believe. Savor the comfort in the care of a mommy and daddy. Savor that time of new love with your soul mate. Determine to truly see the young love in his eyes as he looks your way, and the even greater love of that spouse as the fleeting years go by. Savor the early morning sunrise over a little extra sleep, the soft breathing of your babe against your chest, the giggles and little footsteps coming down the stairs, the tears of a teen as she confides in her mama. Enjoy the rain drops and the snow. The home you call your own. The family God has given you. The precious promises of God. Dear daughter~ don’t wish for tomorrow’s. It will all be gone before you know it, and one day you will wish it back. Don’t take life for granted. Don’t take today for granted. Look for God in every moment, no matter how good or bad that moment may seem. He is there. He is always there. Don’t be in such a hurry that you miss the incredible blessings God is giving you right now. Right this very moment. Stand still in that moment. Take in the blessings of your Father. Don’t look for happiness in the “if only’s”. Look at all you have today. Today is a joyful celebration, if you will only open your eyes to its beauty. Purpose in your heart to choose thankfulness each morning of each day for the rest of that beautiful life. Your life. No sweet daughter~ Don’t wish for time to fly. Psalm 118:24 Ecclesiastes 2:24, 3:13
11/6/2019
Are You Hurting?ARE YOU HURTING?
Today, I am. Fall is one of my favorite times of the year, but also one of the hardest. The moment that first chill is in the air, the leaves begin to fall and their colors light up the world, my thoughts go to my mom. Even though it has been 17 years, the pain of that day is very present. Somehow my heart still wants to rewind and pretend it never happened. I can remember this very week in October like it was yesterday. We were in the middle of a huge house renovation. One that I had desperately wanted, but one that was taking its toll on me. I didn’t think I could handle much more, but I tried to make the best of it. Little children were ringing our doorbell~ smiles and candy were given freely~ but deep down I just wanted to call my mom and pour my heart out. I needed the comforting words I knew she would speak~ but I never got to hear them again. Without warning~ three days later she was gone. When I think about the phone call from my dad that morning, my heart almost feels as if it’s suffocating. People often ask~Why does God allow us to have beauty in our lives, only to take it away? Sweet friend, God doesn’t allow us pain so that we can somehow be bullied into serving Him. Pain was never a part of God’s plan. The brokeness of this world as a result of sin is what causes pain. It causes heartache. It causes the tears to flow. God never expects us to go without crying. He knows the heartbreak of pain because~ God Himself came down to earth and experienced all these things. The difference in His suffering was that Jesus did it FOR me. He did it FOR you. So when you find the tears falling uncontrollably and you feel alone in your pain, please realize~ you are never, ever alone. Jesus love for you was so great that he willingly CHOSE to experience the same things you are going through at this very moment. The King of Kings came to earth for me. He knew what He would be facing here on earth. He knew what His physical body would have to endure. He knew the heartache and brokenness that sin has ravished on our world. He knew the end~ but He chose to come so that you could have a beginning. A new life. Imagine having the choice to say no to the pain and heartache you are going through right now. I would never choose the pain. But He did. When I think of the level of heartache I have been through, I can’t imagine choosing to purposely go through that for anyone. There were times It almost broke me. But He did it for me. And He did it for you. So let the tears flow. God expects nothing less~ but never forget He is right there with you, holding you. He understands. He wept those same tears. All because of a love that we can never fully comprehend. Allow that love to bring you comfort today. God incarnate took your pain upon Himself. He lived and breathed it and then He nailed it to the cross. The very words~”It is finished” are the comforting words your soul needs to hear. No, you are never alone no matter how hard the pain is. I’m with you. And so is He. John 1:14 John 3:16 John 11:33-36 Hebrews 4:15,16 Luke 19:41,42 Psalm 34:18
10/23/2019
Until They No Longer Need YouUNTIL THEY NO LONGER NEED YOU
I listened to him tell us about his dump truck. His big blue eyes sparkled as he spoke. Any other person may not have understood half of what he was saying, but I did. He’s my grandson and memories of his own mother came flooding back. With her lisp and tiny voice. I could hear her telling me all about her little stuffed bunny. Just like it was yesterday. And this grandma wanted my daughter to hold that memory and make time stand still for a moment. I wanted her to realize how much she would miss these seemingly trivial conversations with her son. Telling mama about dump trucks. But when we’re a young mom and in the thick of it, often we don’t even hear it. They talk and talk and talk... It is non stop. Life is so busy, our schedules are so hectic, our day to day responsibilities are so weighing~ that we brush it off. We don’t really pay attention. It’s just background noise. Until one day he is talking to you like an adult, and your heart skips a beat. When did that happen? When did it change? Time goes on and pretty soon their life is too busy. Your children are adults with schedules and day to day responsibilities that weigh on them. And then there is no talking at all. Moments that are few and far between. You understand their busyness because~ wasn’t it just yesterday that you were there in the thick of it? Wasn’t it just yesterday that your own mother was telling you how much she missed you? How she wished you would visit more often? And you were frustrated. You complained that she had no idea how busy your life was. Until it wasn’t. But then it was too late. Dare I say mama that you may think your life is hard now, that you will never get beyond the constant talking, interruptions and neediness~ You might wish for peace and quiet~ but one day all you will have is the quiet. That’s when it’s hard. So mama~ Soak up every single word. Stop what you’re in the middle of while your child is talking to you, think about what I have said and try to picture that little one as an adult who no longer needs you. Look at them~really look at them~ and listen, because one day they will be too busy to talk and you will wish for that moment back again. You will wish he was telling you about his dump truck like you were the most important person in his world. Because honestly mama, you were. Don’t ever take that for granted. And one day, just because you remember that busy time in your life and you understand it~ doesn’t mean you miss your children talking to you any less. You will remember those moments and wish you could have them back again. Just you and your baby~ talking about dump trucks. 
9/11/2019
All The Little ThingsALL THE LITTLE THINGS
2 minute read I wanted so many big things for my children when they were younger. Parental goals. But now~ in their grown up lives apart from me~ I want all the little things for them. I want all the little things for their children. Small things that don’t merit recognition. Insignificant moments that turn into beautiful memories. When my adult children get together, their accomplishments aren’t the topic of conversation. Their fulfilled goals aren’t what fills the room with laughter. The memories they have of home are what brings beauty. Building forts under the piano. Hide and seek with daddy. Playing in the mud an hour before church. (and getting in trouble for it) Walking on a snow covered street at midnight with mom. Making chocolate chip cookies, pancakes every Saturday and birthday dinners. Getting up on Thanksgiving morning to gather wood for a cozy fire. Practicing “waking up” on Christmas morning. Growing up in church. Bringing others to Jesus. Watermelon and swing sets. French fries and long talks. Evening swimming at the lake. Redeemable coupons for hugs and kisses. Camping in the backyard. Hunting with daddy. Baking with mom. Roasting marshmallows and making s’mores at the cottage. CHRISTMAS. Jr. camp and The Beach. Praying together. Praising together. Bike rides and sleigh rides. Snuggling on the couch. Just Being together. Twenty years from now, as my children sit with their spouse or with their children~ those are the things I want for them. Those are the memories I want them to hold close. I don’t want them to miss out on all the little things while chasing what they believe are the big things. I want those little things to live on in the hearts of my children. The joy of home. The joy of just being together. The joy of Jesus. That is the joy I want them to experience. My children are all grown now. They have families of their own. Looking back, one of the most important things I’ve learned is that the things this world says are so important~those big things~ aren’t what’s truly important for your children. The ONLY big thing our children need is Jesus. Jesus. Jesus and all those little things that make life beautiful. Ecclesiastes 2:24, 3:11, 13, 5:18-20, 11:9
8/28/2019
Never Grow UpNEVER GROW UP 3 minute read I love the movie Hook. My heart always gets emotional during one particular scene. A child is holding ‘grown up’ Peter’s face in his hands, and as he looks into his eyes he sees the ‘little boy’ Peter. His heart smiles and he says~ ”there you are Peter.” Maybe I get emotional because I have moments like this with my own children. I know that it’s part of our job as parents to raise them to be responsible adults who no longer need us, but I don’t believe there’s a mom in this world who doesn’t miss her children when they were... well...children. We’re proud of them and the adults they’ve become, but we still miss those little beings. Adulting can be so serious at times. So, I have these mama moments. Moments when I see my oldest and the childlike excitement and joy in her eyes every time she’s able to do something sweet and unexpected for someone. Since the day she could walk and talk she’s had a tender, giving heart for others. When she shares those special moments with me~ I see my little girl and my heart smiles and says~ “there you are Jessica.” Moments when I see my middle daughter rolling around on the floor with her boys and I see those boys laugh in sheer delight at their silly mama~ who for a few playful hours puts the cares of this world aside to care for the most important things in her world~ When I see her chasing and tickling and making goofy, childlike faces and she catches my eye~ I see my little girl and my heart smiles and says~”there you are Andrea.” Moments when my son asks if we are busy because he just has a “quick question” and an hour visit feels like mere minutes. Each time I find myself wishing he could stay just a little longer. Moments when I study his face as he’s talking to his daddy~ I see my little boy and my heart smiles and says~ “there you are Michael.” Moments when my youngest daughter shares little, insignificant details of her everyday life that are very significant to me. Texts about her dog and cats, her makeup or a cozy, fuzzy sweater she found. Moments when she repeats an inside joke from her childhood that only the two of us share~ I see my little girl and my heart smiles and says~”there you are Kathryn.” Am I proud of the adults my children have become? Yes I am. They aren’t just my children. Aside from my husband, they’re my best friends. Do I still miss the children they were at times? Yes I do. But now I have these new little beings that surround me, that give me unlimited hugs and continual snuggles. Little ones that look just like my children, and when I see Ellie take care of her younger cousins or Clara get down on the floor so that her little cousin can stand on her back to reach the drinking fountain~ I see my little girl and my heart smiles and says~”there you are Jessica.” When I see Ethan sweetly sharing with his little brothers and Gabe making goofy faces at his grandpa, without a care in the world~ I see my silly, happy little girl and my heart smiles and says~”there you are Andrea.” You will always be mommy no matter how adult your children become. Don’t be sad that they are grown. Their childlike heart is still inside them. You gave them that gift, and it will live on in their hearts. ~Perhaps one day in the hearts of their children as well. Don’t lose sight of that. If you look into their grown up eyes, you will see it~ and when you do, your heart will smile because their eyes will always say~ “there you are mommy“. •”Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.” Proverbs 17:6 •“Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Psalms 127:3 KJV
8/21/2019
Never Stop Praying For That ChildNEVER STOP PRAYING FOR THAT CHILD
3 minute read “Mrs. Goforth, this is officer Joy. We have your son in the back of our squad car....” I thought it was a prank call. At the time I didn’t realize our town had an officer with the last name “Joy”. I started laughing, until he cut me off to tell me what my son had been up to~ jumping off a barge into the Pigeon River. Apparently he had gotten permission to do so earlier in the day, but he had NOT gotten permission to go back at night with his friends. This wasn’t the first time Michael had “befriended” the police. *A few years earlier he climbed on top of our shed and shot a BB gun toward some trouble makers on Devil’s night. He thought he was protecting us. The police were knocking on our door a few minutes later. He was 7. *On a family trip, he left a convenience store at 9pm because he couldn’t find us. He started walking toward the highway and the police picked him up. He was 9. *He rode a moped on his senior trip without a helmet. The police stopped him, despite his protests that everyone else was doing it. *He snuck out at night and put an 8’ fiberglass rabbit in the middle of Main Street. A police chase ensued. Tasers were involved and the trouble makers ran into our church to hide out. (Yes, my husband is the pastor of that church). None of these things were terrible, life altering mistakes. They began in innocence. Slowly mischief was added, a little bit at a time and each time, my heart was pricked a little more. Our children’s actions can do that to us. And then, as mothers we worry. I was worried I was a terrible mother and I was worried about the direction my son seemed to be heading. When you write a weekly blog that all your children read, when you live in a small town and all those children live in that same town AND grew up in that same town, it makes it difficult to share past experiences and heartache you may have gone through in raising said children. At the same time I cannot pretend our life was a wonderful bed of roses, or that we were perfect parents and they were perfect children. I wasn’t. They weren’t. I had struggles and heart ache just like every other parent. This mom had more sleepless nights~filled with tears~than she cares to recall. But God is faithful. That isn’t cliche. It isn’t a cute phrase. It’s a truth I know from the depths of my heart, and have witnessed in each of their lives. The very first time we were called into the school office due to my son’s misbehavior, my mama heart wanted to blame everyone else. The teacher for not controlling her class, and the mischievous little boys he was interacting with. But that day God showed me that Michael wasn’t sweet and innocent either. He played just as much a part as the other boys involved, and this mom began praying even harder. I prayed specific prayers. I begged God to watch over my children and help them make Godly choices. I asked God ALL DAY LONG to keep His angels around my babies like a fortress, and to hold them under the shadow of His wings. So, from the moment I started praying earnestly on Michael’s behalf did his life dramatically change? Did he become the perfect little boy who grew into the Godly preacher he is today? Obviously, after reading the beginning of this story you know the answer~he did not. But, this mom never gave up on begging God and to this day, even though they are grown and married~ she’s still begging. Don’t ever stop going to God on your children’s behalf. Jesus Himself goes to God our Father on our behalf. If Christ, our ultimate example, does that for me~ then I will continue to do that for my own children until my last breath. Don’t give up mom. No matter how discouraging their choices and actions might be~Wait on the Lord. God is faithful. If you will keep asking~ He will answer and in time it will be true joy, and not an officer, calling to your heart. John 16:24- ...ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full. Psalm 27:14- Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. Psalm 91:4,11, Psalm 34:7, Matthew 18:10, Hebrews 1:14
8/7/2019
Mother In Law’s TongueMOTHER-IN-LAW’S TONGUE
3 minute read I recently started following a great lady on Instagram. She has been super helpful with tips on changing food and every day items for a healthier life. (@just.ingredients) 👏🏼 Getting rid of toxins in our home, and in our bodies, and all that. She recommended one very easy way to do this~ plants. Specifically Peace Lily’s and one that I had never heard of~ The Snake Plant~ AKA Vipers Bowstring AKA Mother-in-Laws Tongue. Yep, you read that right. No joke guys. These are actually names of the plant. Are any of you out there Mother-in-Laws? 🙋🏼♀️ Why do Mother-In-Laws get such a bad rap? I’m honestly offended. 😂😂😂 All jesting aside, it’s true. We get a bad rap. We’re the topic of Daughter-In-Laws everywhere. We’re controlling or babying or nosey or intrusive. We’re ‘know it alls’ and we’re opinionated. We’re overbearing and unloving. AKA snakes 😉 So I took a step back. I looked at the big picture of all the ‘bad Mother-In-Law raps’ since time began~and I think I came to a conclusion. All “In-Laws” are controlling and selfish. 😳😬 That includes “Mother”, that includes “Daughter”. That includes me. Mom doesn’t want to let go. Daughter wants her new husband and kids all to herself. Instead of embracing each other, both feel threatened by the other. We are like little children who fight and whine and cry “mine”. We both fail to realize some very important facts. Number 1. That snake (AKA Mother-in-Law) raised the man you fell so deeply in love with. He isn’t just some freak of nature. 🤔She taught him to be the man he is. The man you admire and chose to spend the rest of your life with. Number 2. That Daughter-In-Law is the one your son fell in love with~ after YOU taught him what to look for in a wife. They are one flesh. She is a part of his very soul. That soul you cherish so deeply. He loves her with his entire being, and so should you. Number 3. Once your son is married the Bible commands he LEAVE his father and mother and CLEAVE unto his wife. Mom~ he is no longer yours. As hard as that is, you have to let go. Number 4. That man you married was once a tiny precious bundle of joy and happiness to his mother. She carried him for 9 months. She nurtured him and loved him. She cried over him and prayed for him. She stayed up long nights when he was sick or scared or had a bad dream. Don’t ever forget that. I did when I was first married and I regret it. I know what you all are thinking as you read this~ But. You. Don’t. Know. What. She’s. Like!!!! Take a hard, honest look at your heart. Are you being selfish? Are you being controlling? Let’s open our hearts and allow the love of Christ to fill them with love for each other. Lets step into each other’s shoes for a change. And let’s remember that we are all snakes. That old serpent the devil is in all of us~he knows how to trick us into believing we are justified in our wrong doing, and yet~Christ loves us unconditionally. In fact, He loves us so much that He died for us and He continually forgives. CONTINUALLY. Boy, if that isn’t a kick in the pants and an unbelievable comfort rolled into one, I don’t know what is. Ladies, let’s allow Him to change the bad rap of in laws everywhere. This In-Law thing has got to change. When we bicker and become bitter we are all a horrible testimony for the cause of Christ. There is absolutely no justification for it. Bottom line. Kind of crazy that the two best plants to get toxins out of our air are a PEACE Lily and Mother-In-Law’s tongue. Mom, maybe God wants it to start with us. Get the toxins out of the air. I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer not to be referred to as a snake 😂😂😂 Let’s let our tongues be filled with the love of Christ and with ~Peace💗 ***To clear up any preconceived notions that I do not get along well with my Mother-In-Law or my Daughter-In-Law~ I have a fantastic relationship with both of them and am blessed beyond belief to have them in my life 🥰
7/24/2019
Safe And CozySAFE AND COZY
2 minute read The sky turned black and the clouds rumbled. Torrential rain came down in thick, heavy sheets. We opened the front door. Both of them tucked their little hands into mine. And we watched. Summer heat and mists of rain hit our faces, but they remained unmoved. A few moments later I turned away to shut the door. Even though my eyes could not adjust to the darkness, a sense a peace and comfort washed over me. Little Ellie looked up at me and said~ “Grandma I love your house when it’s raining like this. It makes me feel so safe and cozy.” I almost cried. She said exactly what my heart was feeling. Safe and cozy. That’s the feeling I want my granddaughters to have for the rest of their lives. I wish I could protect them from all the hurts and disappointments that life will throw at them. From the ugly words and angry people that will step across their paths. But I can’t. I could choose to be sad and worry over the outlook of their future, knowing the evils this world holds, or I can choose to give those babies to God. I can choose to teach them that yes, no matter what, they can always feel safe and cozy. I can, because I have experienced all these things myself. I remember the dark nights that I lay in bed feeling completely alone. I remember the tears that fell like torrential rain from hurts that were thrown my way. I remember my soul yearning for comfort that no human could give and I remember begging my Heavenly Father to wrap His arms around me. As silly as it sounds, this 54 year old will always be her Heavenly Father’s little girl. I will always want to tuck my hand into His or crawl up into His lap and just be held. Where every other person in this world may fail me, He will not. When my mind can’t wrap around the hurt my heart feels, I close my eyes. I picture my Father’s home. It is safe there. I will never grow too old to ask Him to hold me. He will always keep me~ safe and cozy. And that is what I want my grandchildren to grasp. That is the knowledge I want them to hold close. And I will know that one day, when the rain and heat of this world hits them, they will remain unmoved Because their hand will always be tucked into His. 💗 “For thou hast been a strength to the poor, a strength to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shadow from the heat, when the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm...” Isaiah 25:4 “For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” Isaiah 41:13 Psalm 16:1, 46:1, 91:2 & 14, 118:6 & 8, Proverbs 18:10, John 10:28 & 29
7/17/2019
Giving In Moments“GIVING IN” MOMENTS OF MAMAS WITH TEENS
3 minute read When our kids were little we adopted a rescue dog. The kids named her Mandy and she became a part of our family. On one particular night around 2am, Mandy began pacing, running up and down our steps. She was relentless and whiny. Mike (my husband) was tired. He was annoyed. He gave in. He got out of bed and let her out. As soon as the door opened, she took off. I don’t know how long she was gone. When she finally returned, before we could stop her she ran right back upstairs and into bed with the girls. It was too late. The stench filled our entire house. Mandy had been playing tag with a skunk. The skunk won. The next morning despite the smell, we sent the kids to school. (I know...what were we thinking? 😂) It didn’t take long for the stench to permeate the entire school. It emanated from their closed lockers, book bags, clothing and hair. Let’s just say that “perfect attendance” was not high on the school’s priority list that day. My kids were all sent home. They were not happy. This might seem like a silly tale, but mama~ can I just encourage you~ don’t give in. It starts at a young age. Our children want to do the same things the other kids are allowed to do. They want to watch the same shows and listen to the same music and wear the same clothes and go to the same places. They want to get out of our house. They will whine and cry and beg. And it will not stop for at least... 18 to 22 years 😂 And you will get tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of being “that parent”. Tired of being the bad guy. Tired of the relentless begging and whining. You will be tempted to just give in. But mama~ if your intuition is screaming “NO” and you give in, if you try to convince yourself that maybe it isn’t as bad as you think~ that one moment of weakness could lead to future heartache and unhappiness. No matter how hard you try to pretend it didn’t happen, you won’t be able to go back on the decision you made to just give in. Giving in is just like allowing them to play tag with a skunk. The skunk will always win. The stench that might ensue will permeate every aspect of your child’s life and the consequences could emanate for years. One single moment of “giving in” could change everything. Mama, you know what’s best for your child. You know in your heart of hearts the things that you shouldn’t give in to. God gave you a mother’s intuition. Believe me, I know how hard it is to say no over and over and how much it hurts when the response is continual anger. You feel as if your child hates you~ and truthfully, they might believe they do hate you. But God knows all of that. God hears your prayers and knows your hurt. He will watch over your child and one day, when they’re an adult and have children of their own, their eyes will be opened to the truth and they will realize the tremendous love you had for them in the “not giving in” season of their life. And when that day comes, your children will thank you. My children are all grown now. There are times I look back on and wish I hadn’t given in. I hadn’t worried about being the cool parent or having my children “like” me. I wish I would’ve had the faith to trust God that they might not have liked me in the moment but they would love me for that “no moment” in the future. There are also instances we look back on and my adult children thank me and tell me they don’t know where they’d be today if I had given up and given in. Even though I remember the hurt from the hateful looks and angry responses (especially between the ages of 13-18 😬) my heart is full today and I thank God for the intuition He gave this mama because without Him... That skunk would’ve won.
7/3/2019
Are You Looking In A Mirror?ARE YOU LOOKING IN A MIRROR?
For a minute I saw it. The twinkle. My heart remembered and my soul said~ there you are. And I fell in love all over again. His dark hair now shimmers white. His thin shape has filled in. But his twinkle, that twinkle in his eye~ It remains the same, even after 34 years. And when he laughs, really laughs from deep down inside~ my heart smiles. We have been through heartache together. We have weathered the storms of our own making, and come out on the other side. There has been hurt. There have been times that I have hidden away and cried. Times my heart lies and tells me~ this isn’t the same man you married. And I want that man back. Not this one. Eventually, we become like the ones we spend the most time with. 34 years. That’s a lot of time. Time he has spent with me. So I remind myself, on the days I don’t like what I see in him, perhaps I am looking in a mirror and seeing a reflection of myself~ And I determine that I will work even harder on this marriage thing~ no matter how many years go by~ so that when he looks back at me, he will see Christ. I want him to feel my heart full of forgiveness, selflessness, compassion and mercy. A heart full of indescribable love. The heart of a wife that spends more time with Christ than her own selfish nature. I will learn to let things go. I will put his needs before my own. I will love like Christ loves me. And I will see that twinkle that makes my heart smile because I know that when I see that twinkle~ his heart is smiling too. “The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy. The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.” Psalms 145:8-9 “But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth.” Psalms 86:15 “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” Colossians 3:13
6/19/2019
I Remember DadI REMEMBER DAD
I sat on his porch with him looking at the water. We rocked back and forth in silence for a while. He started to say something but couldn’t get the words out, so stopped in frustration. I knew it was something that bothered him, ever since his stroke. The words don’t come easily like they used to. I don’t call attention to it, and we continue to rock. Every night here on his porch since his hospital stay. I have asked him many questions in the evenings as we rock. I’ve learned so much more about him. Why did it take so long to get to this point? Because my life was too busy? Shame on me. I remember him singing to me when I was little. Songs like~ “Did You Happen To See The Most Beautiful Girl In The World” or “Up Up And Away In My Beautiful Balloon”. The words came easy back then. He had the best voice. I remember that I never had to worry about anything growing up. Dad took care of it. He was a constant. But I grew up. Life happened. Marriage, babies, toddlers, high school, college, weddings, grand babies. Just life. Of course we got together for holidays and birthdays. But not like this. Not in the quiet. Just being together for no reason but to be together. It makes me sad that I could’ve had this all along if I had just put forth a little effort. But we wait until tragedy strikes before our eyes our opened. The doctor gives bad news. We cry. We change, but often it’s too late. The time is fleeting before there isn’t any time left at all. TAKE the time today to MAKE the time to be with your daddy. To enjoy just being with him for no reason at all. To talk together. To get to know him and the man he was. The man he is. Don’t wait until it’s too late. How well do you truly know the man who raised you? I guarantee he would love to tell you his story. Work and friends and responsibilities~ they will always be there, but your dad will not. Go sit on the porch with him today. Just because. Then tell him how much you love him and how thankful you are for him. Every day can be Father’s Day with just a little effort and a whole lot of love.
6/12/2019
I Remember MomI REMEMBER MOM
When I was little, while all the other little girls at school went back and forth over what they wanted to be when they grew up, I always knew what I wanted. I played house. I played with dolls. I played grocery shopping. I wanted to be a mom. Just like my mom. I may have been only 4 or 5, but I watched her, and she didn’t even realize. As she cooked and cleaned, as she did the laundry and ironing, as she bought groceries and took care of my baby brother, as she kissed my daddy when he walked through the door~ my little eyes were always watching. She may have gotten frustrated at times. She may have yelled at me (for which I know I deserved), she may have gotten tired or sad or discouraged. She may have looked at the other moms and their accomplishments and wished she could DO more, not realizing~ She was already doing everything~ because my little heart wanted to grow up and be her. And at night, no matter what the day held, as she snuggled with me in bed and read me another chapter of my favorite book, it was the best feeling in the world and I never wanted it to end. Mama (and daddies of little boys) whatever your role, whatever your vocation~ little eyes are watching and wishing to be you. The world might try to convince you that simply being a “mom” is a worthless job. You might wish you could accomplish so much more for your children. There will be days you might wish you could retrace your steps and take back the yelling and frustration or weariness and impatience. Despite what we might see as failures~ you are the best feeling in the world to them~ their little hearts love unconditionally and they want to grow up to be just like us. Time goes by. Little hearts grow up. Little eyes notice more. Future plans change. Make sure your babies see a future wrapped up in Jesus. I landed my dream job. I’m a mom. I’m a grandma, and this morning as I got my coffee and the morning sunlight whispered through the windows, I almost cried. God has blessed me so much. A family. A house. Laundry and ironing. Dust on the furniture and cobwebs in the corners. A floor that needs sweeping. A grocery list and a pantry. Grandbabies. A morning cup of coffee. All the small things God gives us, that this life holds, aren’t really small after all. Things we might overlook, complain about or take for granted. But I remember. I remember wanting to push the grocery cart. I remember my Easy Bake Oven and play stove and fridge. I remember play shelves with play food. I remember my Fischer Price vacuum. I remember pretending to be mom drinking her coffee, I remember crying baby dolls and bottles and pretend diapers. I remember mom. And I wished that she was here to see it so that I could say thank you mom~ for showing me how to be just like you and loving every minute of it. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO GIVE YOUR CHILDREN? One night long ago, as another baby tooth was put under a pillow awaiting the tooth fairy, I was asked what the Tooth Fairy did with all those baby teeth. It’s one of those moments when a father might panic, but not a mother. God has this way of giving mamas perfect answers on the fly. Either that, or we’re just really good liars. 😉 An idea formed and I began to pen the words to a cute little tale. My daughter Andrea drew the illustrations and when her teacher found out, she asked if I would come in and read it to the class. I’ll never forget the look of excitement on the children’s faces as I began to read. They had all kinds of ideas on how it would end, but only I knew the outcome. I was the author. They wouldn’t know until I finished reading and when I said “The End” smiles lit up the entire classroom. “Looking unto Jesus, the AUTHOR and the FINISHER of our faith...” Hebrews 12:2 Think about those words. Just like I was the author of a unique tale about the Tooth Fairy, Jesus is the Author of our unique life story and He is the Author of our children’s life story. Let that sink in. Not you. Not me. Jesus. And just like I probably have you wondering~”What does the Tooth Fairy do with all those teeth?” 😉, we might constantly wonder what will happen next in our own lives or the lives of our children. Instead of leaving things in God’s hands, we attempt to control each situation, writing our own story, making ourself the hero instead of our Savior. This tends to lead us on a path of worry and frustration instead of joy and peace. Because ultimately~ it is Jesus story. He is our Author and He will finish the story. The story called Faith. If we had our way, if we knew the outcome~ then it wouldn’t be called Faith. It might be called Mistakes, Heartache or Pride. It might be called Worry or Distrust. But not Faith. These things need not overtake us when Jesus is our author. We can sit in His presence with comfort, peace and even joy~looking ahead to what unfolds. Confident that the ending will be written by Someone Who loves us with an unfathomable love. Someone Who knows exactly what is best for us and our children. Allow your children to see His story of faith unfold in your own life. Give them that gift. Teach them to allow Jesus to be their Author as well, understanding that He is the ultimate Hero. Our Hero. His story is not fiction. He will never lie and He will never panic when we ask questions~ because He always has the perfect answer. And that answer will always be Faith. As we go through the heart rending chapters, we don’t ever have to tire because~ with the strength of a Hero and the love of a Savior, He will continue writing His love story. Our story. And we can rest in knowing that when we hear the final “The End” His smile will light up our hearts because we will be in His presence. Our story will have a happy ending if we will just allow Him to finish it for us. His love story called Faith.
5/15/2019
Sleepless Nights Of A MamaSLEEPLESS NIGHTS OF A MAMA
We lived 700 miles away. Away from all family. I felt very alone. I didn’t have many friends, mostly just acquaintances. And I was tired. So tired. Mom wasn’t there to give me a break and Mike worked 6 days a week. Our firstborn was almost a year old and I hadn’t slept through a single night in over a year. Not only had my uncomfortable, huge belly kept me awake before her birth, but after her birth she woke up (and stayed up) several times a night. Every single night. We tried everything. I cried more than I care to admit. Sheer exhaustion took over and I can remember thinking that I would give anything, anything for one night of uninterrupted sleep. I couldn’t complain to anyone. The only phones we had were land lines and it was far too expensive to call home. There were no cell phones. There was no texting. There was no one to vent to. So I turned to the only One I had in my loneliness. I complained to God. I cried out to Him and I finally admitted to the ladies at my church that I needed prayer. I was not super mom. I needed them to reach out to God on my behalf. Once I gave it to God, once I leaned totally on Him and told Him I couldn’t do it anymore, He told me~ “I can Charisse, I can do it for you.” He whispered to my lonely, exhausted heart that I wasn’t alone and that I needed to trust Him through this. It was then that I realized I had not been trusting. I had been feeling sorry for myself in my loneliness and sleep deprivation. I might have called out to Him in frustration and despair, but not in faith and trust. So to all of you moms that are wondering~’How can I get through these baby years without losing my mind?’ The sleepless nights, the terrible two’s, (or terrible teens), the empty nest or even the adult years of our children.... You can’t. But He can. Let go of the frustration and despair and give it to God. Once I truly did this I realized I was never really alone. When the world was dark and everyone was asleep, as I held her and cried~ He was right there by my side the whole time. His strength is limitless when we have no strength left at all. Three more babies came after my first. There were many more sleepless nights. A lot of crying. Too much of Charisse and not enough of Christ. Thank God, His mercies are new every morning. He is faithful and even now when the sleepless nights of crying over my adult children may come, when the world is dark and I’m holding their problems in my heart, I can rest in Him, trusting that I am not alone and neither are they. He is right there by their side. Deuteronomy 31:8 Psalm 121:2-3 💗 DEAR MOTHER IN LAW
DEAR DAUGHTER IN LAW.... There once was a little boy that captured my heart. From the very first moment he was placed in my arms and his big blue eyes stared up into mine. I held him there. So close. He had this heart that was full of compassion. Always thinking of me. He would bring me flowers and write me love notes. I was the world to him. He would promise never to marry or move away. And I held him there. So close. As he grew, his compassion never waned. Sweet notes and cards. Thoughtfulness. He shared his dreams with me. His funny moments and his happiness. Maybe, he mused, he would marry.... but live right next door. He would never move....too far away. And I tried to hold him there. So close. But then one day he was asking for advice. His compassion and thoughtfulness shifted. Advice on what to write... to her. Again I tried to hold him there. So close. As he talked, I stared into the eyes of my little boy. My baby, now a man. He would marry her. He would live anywhere in the world if he could be with her, because she was his world. And I was not. I could no longer hold him there, so close. I had to let go. She changed everything. She was his everything. His happiness. His life. She brought him joy just by being herself. And she brought me joy because she was herself. She wrote me notes filled with love. She shared their dreams with me, their days, their hopes, their heartaches and their happiness. She shared their laughter with me. She sent me pictures he didn’t know she took. She told me each time he spoke loving thoughts of home and mom. Each time.💗💗 She shared him. And she allowed me to hold him close again. So close. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Remember the heart that held his first. That heard his first words of love. That taught him to walk and talk and be the man you love, the man you married. Remember the heart that holds his now. That gives him joy and happiness. That loves him more than you ever could have hoped for. The woman he married. Remember.... and hold each other close. Thank you Shannon. I love you 😘❤️
4/16/2019
The Softness Of A MotherTHE SOFTNESS OF A MOTHER
Sometimes the days seemed so long, but the nights seemed even longer. Newborn feedings, teething, bad dreams, growing pains. Overwhelming exhaustion. You couldn’t wait for bed time, just for a little peace and quiet. Until the crying started all over again. But then there would be nights that just pulled at your heart strings. The soft glow of the moon shining in on their tiny faces as you watched them sleep. You didn’t think love could squeeze your heart any tighter. They came to us always. We were Mama. We made their boo boos and their heart breaks better. And at night, when all the world was fast asleep, they were safe there. Safe under our roof. Safe in the quiet. No one warned us how much our heart would feel that squeeze as one by one they moved out~ until one day they were all gone. You think back to the days when they were safe, and now as you lay in bed looking at the vast darkness outside, you wonder if they are okay. Maybe hundreds of miles away. No longer under your roof. No longer in their childhood bedroom. They are an adult now, in a dormitory or maybe their first apartment or house. That quiet you longed for so many years ago is now an unwelcome guest. You can’t control their safety. You worry. You think back to all the nights they cried for you when they were little and you held them close and rocked them back to sleep. It was in your DNA. It was your job. You were the one who made sure they were okay. And now you aren’t. The reality of that hits you. You thought it was so hard during those baby years. You never truly realized how simple life was back then~until now. This is a hard you’re not sure you can get past. You wish you could hold them and rock them again. You can’t, but Someone else can. Someone else is. The same One Who holds you close. The same One Who gives you the peace that passes understanding. The same One you cry out to when you’re hurting. Just as He is with you, He is with your adult children. Release your control and understand that He is with them even now. He knows their hurts, their disappointments, their adult growing pains. He will take care of them, no matter how far away they are. There is no need to worry. He is the great Shepherd and even though they are adults now~they are still, and always will be His little lambs. Just like they will always be your little lambs. When you look up at the stars tonight, they are sleeping under that same sky. The soft glow of the moon shines in on them as their heavenly Father watches them sleep. They aren’t as far as you think. They are right there next to you, asleep in your Savior’s arms. So let Him sing to your heart the soft lullabies of peace and comfort. Let Him hold you as you fall asleep, knowing that His great arms are holding them as well. You can let go of that control and give it to Him. It wasn’t ever really ours to begin with. It was always His. He just poured down His love a little extra in the softness of mama until He knew they would be okay on their own. Without you~ But always with Him. Psalm 42:8 |
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