SLEEPLESS NIGHTS OF A MAMA
We lived 700 miles away. Away from all family. I felt very alone. I didn’t have many friends, mostly just acquaintances. And I was tired. So tired. Mom wasn’t there to give me a break and Mike worked 6 days a week.
Our firstborn was almost a year old and I hadn’t slept through a single night in over a year. Not only had my uncomfortable, huge belly kept me awake before her birth, but after her birth she woke up (and stayed up) several times a night.
Every single night.
We tried everything. I cried more than I care to admit. Sheer exhaustion took over and I can remember thinking that I would give anything, anything for one night of uninterrupted sleep.
I couldn’t complain to anyone. The only phones we had were land lines and it was far too expensive to call home. There were no cell phones. There was no texting. There was no one to vent to.
So I turned to the only One I had in my loneliness. I complained to God. I cried out to Him and I finally admitted to the ladies at my church that I needed prayer. I was not super mom. I needed them to reach out to God on my behalf.
Once I gave it to God, once I leaned totally on Him and told Him I couldn’t do it anymore,
He told me~
“I can Charisse, I can do it for you.”
He whispered to my lonely, exhausted heart that I wasn’t alone and that I needed to trust Him through this.
It was then that I realized I had not been trusting. I had been feeling sorry for myself in my loneliness and sleep deprivation. I might have called out to Him in frustration and despair, but not in faith and trust.
So to all of you moms that are wondering~’How can I get through these baby years without losing my mind?’
The sleepless nights, the terrible two’s,
(or terrible teens), the empty nest or even the adult years of our children....
But He can.
Let go of the frustration and despair and give it to God. Once I truly did this I realized I was never really alone. When the world was dark and everyone was asleep, as I held her and cried~ He was right there by my side the whole time. His strength is limitless when we have no strength left at all.
Three more babies came after my first. There were many more sleepless nights. A lot of crying. Too much of Charisse and not enough of Christ. Thank God, His mercies are new every morning. He is faithful and even now when the sleepless nights of crying over my adult children may come, when the world is dark and I’m holding their problems in my heart, I can rest in Him, trusting that I am not alone and neither are they.
He is right there by their side.
Psalm 121:2-3 💗