CAN TIME PLEASE STAND STILL?
I have a confession to make.
A hard one for a pastor’s wife to admit, especially on a public forum that’s supposed to be encouraging and uplifting.
This past year I’ve been scared.
And the scared has made me sad.
I’m not even really sure what I’m scared of or why the sadness comes with it, and I’m not sure how to fix it.
But I know God can.
I think the ‘sad’ is from wanting to hold on to the past.
I think the ‘scared’ is from life moving too fast.
My mama heart doesn’t like to see so much changing.
My baby grandchildren growing up. My own children so “adult”.
When these feelings began to emerge, I determined that I was going to make the most of every day.
Enjoy, and find the joy, in every minute.
But my determination did not make time slow down.
Time is going by too fast for me.
I’ve always heard older people talk about it, and its true.
I am now old.
And I’m talking about it.
Sometimes I feel like I’m living in a dream.
What happened to today, or yesterday?
What happened to last month or last year?
Where did the last 20 years go?
I recently read very similar thoughts in a post. The author mused~
”I find myself mourning the past, but in future tense.”
Part of it might be my mom’s death at an early age. Ten years from now I will be the same age she was when she entered heaven’s glory.
Fifteen years ago we lost her.
It seems like yesterday.
Those years flew by for me, so when I think of the next ten ahead~ I want time to stand still. I want to savor every second.
In light of the magnitude of heartache in this world, its such a silly thing to be sad about. I’m almost ashamed to admit it.
It isn’t something I dwell on.
These feelings often hit me out of nowhere and I don’t know how to process them.
Because, as much as I want to, I can’t make time stand still.
But I can BE STILL and know that He is God. He is the Alpha and Omega. He knows my beginning and He knows the exact moment I will take my last breath.
And the joy that is ahead, the joy of His presence~ it is inexpressible and full of glory.
Psalm 16:11, Psalm 46:10,
Psalm 48:14, Isaiah 43:18-19
Time is precious. It’s something we can never get back. God wants us to use it wisely but if we aren’t careful, time can turn into something we worship and in doing so, we miss out on the stillness of joy in worshiping our Savior.
Peace can make time stand still, in the stillness of His presence.
Perhaps this is a New Year’s resolution. I’m not one for making them, but I know this will be a daily process I have to resolve to do. Asking my Father to help me in forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth to those that are ahead. But at the same time “taking no thought for tomorrow”. Philippians 3:13-14, Matthew 6:34
Tomorrow is a different chapter. As long as God is my author, I will sit in the stillness of His presence today, this moment, and savor every second as I listen to Him read it to me. One chapter at a time. I will not go back to read and reread previous chapters. I will not read ahead. I don’t want the last page to say “The End”... I want it to say “Well Done”...
I will enjoy each page as it unfolds. As only my Savior can tell it.
Because my heart is filled with love for Him.
And tonight when I close my eyes to sleep, I will not weep for the past and I will not mourn for the future. I will simply glory in the now.
Glory in the stillness~ with Him.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, 4, 11-14
2 Corinthians 1:3-4,