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11/5/2016 Comments

Even When We Think We Are Unlovable

​We were newlyweds and had our whole life mapped out. Mike had told me on our second date that he intended to move out east and become a youth pastor. I was in love and willing to go anywhere to be with him. We were dreamers and wanted to change the world. Barely three months into our marriage I found out I was pregnant. This was not part of the plan. Driving to my first Doctor appointment with my new husband, in bumper to bumper traffic and getting sick was not part of my big plan either. Pulling over in the middle lane so that I could throw up, but not being able to open the car door because of traffic, so throwing up into my new husband's hands (yes, his HANDS) was not part of "the dream". I was MORTIFIED! I was miserable. I was sick 24/7 and I cried the entire 700 miles to our new home. I felt like I had blown it. I was getting fatter every day and I wasn't the help meet I thought Mike wanted. There have been times in my life that I have felt like this with God too. I've blown it. I've ruined everything. How can God possibly use me? How can He forgive me? I've done things I'm ashamed of. But, HE LOVES US STILL. HE LOVES US MORE THAN WE CAN IMAGINE. Moving so far from home was probably one of the best things for our marriage and those beginning months when I was throwing up constantly, they only drew us closer. He loved me still. He loved me more. I leaned on him. Whatever you have gone through or are going through that has you convinced you have blown it with God, think again my friend. When Christ died on that cross, He took ALL our sins on Himself. Every future sin we would ever commit. Every single mess up. Because He loves us. Just like my poor husband held out his hands when I was sick physically, God's Son held out His hands for our spiritual sickness. There isn't anything in the world that you have done or could do that would make Him love you less. Nothing can change His love for you. Just like our new home, our new beginning drew us closer, this moment right now is your beginning to a new life, a new path, a closer walk with God. Lean on Him. He's not disappointed. You are everything to Him. When you feel beaten down, when you feel like you have done the unimaginable, think about my little story. God uses everything for good because He loves us, even when we think we are unlovable. What good came out of me throwing up (into my husband's hands 😩) in the middle of city traffic? My precious, beautiful baby Jessica. Turn your situation around today by looking to God. Draw closer to Him, lean on Him. Don't give up, but look to that beautiful, precious good He has ahead.
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