When my son left for his first day of school, I stood on the porch and watched as he walked down the street with his sisters toward the school. I stood there until he turned the corner and couldn't see me anymore, the same corner where my daughter now lives. Tears were in my eyes because that entire walk down our long street he kept looking back at me and waving. He looked so tiny and helpless to me and I prayed that as I waved back, my presence would reassure him that he would be okay. My baby trying to be a big boy.
Today I watched my grandson as he left with mommy and daddy. They were pulling him in a wagon with his brother toward home. The same direction my children walked every day towards the school. Mommy and daddy were busy talking, not knowing that as I stood on the porch Ethan continued to look back at me, waving the entire time. His little arm had to be so tired but he kept waving and I continued to wave back. He has a very tender heart and often gets teary eyed when he has to say goodbye to me, so I wouldn't step back inside for fear he wouldn't see me and it would break his heart. Just like his uncle Michael.
Do you ever wonder what goes through their little minds? What troubles their little hearts? Growing up, my mom always taught me to try to "put myself in other's shoes". If someone acts like they're having a bad day. If someone is grouchy or quiet or sad. If someone snaps at me, or doesn't say a word. Even at times when I might initially be very hurt by someone's comment or actions, I try to reason that something caused them to act that way. Perhaps they are facing something scary and the fear of the unknown has their hearts troubled. Maybe they are lonely or have received bad news. Maybe they feel like their life is falling apart. As a grandma it's even easier to do with your grandchildren. When my daughters are having a rough day because the kids are whiney and clingy or crying non stop, I guarantee they will hear~"aww, maybe they don't feel good today" instead of "I'm so sorry you're having such a bad day". It must drive them crazy!
But in that moment as I watched Ethan and remembered his uncle doing the same thing, I just couldn't help trying to put myself in their shoes. Trying to imagine what was going through their tiny hearts and minds and I desperately wanted to make everything ok for them. I wanted them both to know that I was here, and I would be here when they returned.
I'm so very thankful that I have a Savior who doesn't have to wonder what's going through my heart and mind. He already knows. He truly put Himself in our shoes when He came to earth and He desperately wants to make everything okay for me. His heart is always touched when I'm sad or lonely. When I feel tiny and helpless. When no one else around me knows what I'm going through, He is standing at the door of my heart reassuring me, because He knows exactly what my heart is going through. He is always there. I never have to fear that I won't see Him there. He waves to me with a smile and His peace washes over me and when I turn the corner to face my day, His reassurances give me courage and hope. And I know that whatever my day holds, I can return to Him again and again and He will always be right there waiting.