© 2020 HOLDING HOPE
I CAN ONLY WRITE THE SONGS I NEED TO HEAR
Can I just be honest here~
I have fear. I get anxious. I don’t have answers to the hard questions. At times I struggle knowing what I should post or how I should pray, and sometimes I don’t think I even know what to think.
I’m not strong. I worry I’m doing this life wrong. I’m doing this mom thing, this wife thing, this pastor’s wife thing, this whole blog thing~wrong.
I have doubts. Who am I to write anything? I’ve been accused of overthinking. How can I tell others what they ought to think?
I get scared. Life is going too fast. The older I get the weeks seem to spiral past me like a movie on fast forward.
At times I find myself wishing I could be free of worry and doubt. Free from the overthinking and fear. Free from the “what~ifs” and “should~haves”.
And I’m scared that if I share this, everyone will think I’m a little bit crazy. Or a whole lot crazy. No one will want to read the words that I write.
God won’t get the glory.
But today, as I read HIS words to me, He tells me something different~
He tells me I am set free~
“For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death”
He tells me I don’t need to feel enslaved by my mess ups.
He tells me I don’t need to be scared~
“For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba (Daddy), Father.”
He tells me He is my Daddy and I can cry out to Him, day or night because I am His child~
“The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: “
He tells me He will be glorified~
“And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”
He tells me He is always there to help me, when I don’t know what to write or think or pray, He knows~
“Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.”
He tells me that everything will work out~
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
That He is for me, and that’s all that matters~
“What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?”
And that nothing that I do or don’t do, nothing that I think, nothing that I say, no fear or worry~~
NOTHING can separate me from His love~
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?”
And that through Him, I will conquer~
“Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:2, 15-18, 26-28, 31-32, 35, 37-39
So, that’s what I will think. That’s what I will say. That’s what I will write. That’s what I will post. Because they are His words, and not mine,
And that’s what I will believe.