I’m Not Ready
I’M NOT READY
My daughter gave birth early this morning. Her sweet little Caleb decided he wanted to arrive 9 days early.
Caleb’s mommy happens to be just like his grandma. A planner. A list maker. A “get. every. single. thing. done. before. the. baby. comes” mommy. When the contractions started~and then continued every five minutes on the dot~she still didn’t want to believe it. This wasn’t part of the plan. She frantically tidied, vacuumed and even cried a little (okay~maybe a lot) and she said~
“I’m not ready.”
But God her Father thought differently.
I couldn’t help but think of all the times I uttered those words through the years.
“I’m not ready.”
When the pregnancy test came back positive.
When I went into labor.
When I brought my little one home for the very first time.
When my children spoke their first words and took their first steps.
When they were no longer a baby.
When they left for their first day of school.
When they no longer wanted to snuggle.
When they chose their friends over mom and dad.
When they were no longer a child.
When they graduated and drove off to college.
When they said “good bye”~
to say “I do”.
When they were no longer mine.
Even today I find myself saying those words, but when I think about the absolute miracle of pregnancy and natural childbirth, when I think about the fact that Andrea couldn’t do a single thing to control the situation when she went into labor early, when I think about the precision of labor~the perfectly timed contractions telling mama it was time~I see God’s hand all over it. How could I not?
I saw my Savior holding my daughter last night and telling her it was ok. He was with her. It was time. Time to let go and give Him control. And each stage of my children’s lives where I didn’t feel ready~God was holding me. I can now look back and see that He was always in control. He had a plan and His plan was for this mama to let go of everything she was holding onto so tightly and give it to Him, trusting Him completely. No matter how hard.
When your heart is being squeezed. When the tears begin to fall. When you utter the words
“I’m not ready”~
God your Father thinks differently.
Trust in Him and let go.
Our children are the most precious gift God has given us apart from His Son, but they aren’t ever really, truly ours~they will always be His. Our plans for our children may not be God’s plans.
No matter how old they get, you will always hold your child in your heart. Take comfort in knowing that God will always hold your heart in His hands. Once you realize that His way is perfect and give Him control, once you learn to trust Him completely~that’s when you’ll hear Him whispering the words~
“You are ready mama.”
© 2020 HOLDING HOPE