© 2020 HOLDING HOPE
“…And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again…”
We are all familiar with the lyrics to this classic Christmas song, except I wasn’t that mom. I didn’t want school to start again. I wanted to hold on to every minute I had my children home with me during Christmas break. I was the mom watching school cancellations on the television during every snow storm, hoping the name of our school would come across the screen. Snowy days in front of a cozy fire. Hot chocolate and sledding. Movie Mondays where we’d all pile into our tiny den with a big bowl of homemade popcorn.
My family. My kids. My heart.
Yes I had those days when they would drive me absolutely crazy, but I wouldn’t trade one second of this glorious ministry God has placed me in.
The ministry of motherhood.
A ministry I often messed up.
Motherhood is a high calling and one that far too many take too lightly. Every single second God gives you with your child is of utmost importance and will make a lasting impact on their lives. The words you say, the reactions you have, the love you give and the prayers you pray will mold them into the adult they will one day become. They will notice what is important to you without you ever saying a word, because mama that old saying still holds true today~
”Actions speak louder than words”.
Far too often my actions spoke louder.
I wanted that clean house. I wanted that 5 minutes of peace. I wanted time to do projects and to write stories and to fulfill dreams.
Today, I have all of that. I have all the time in the world to keep a clean house. To sit in the peace and quiet and write. Today the same rooms of this old house gaze back at me. The rooms I thought had to be cleaned and organized “right now” or I might lose it. The rooms I allowed to get between me and my children, because they were constant interruptions in my schedule. The rooms now empty of toys and children and laughter.
Today I realize God did fulfill my dreams.
He wrapped them up in four beautiful souls.
All that other stuff was just stuff.
The furniture has been arranged and rearranged and the paint in this house has been changed multiple times in the past 27 years and I will have multiple moments to change it all again, but those moments with my children are gone. And yes, that can break my heart.
I messed up a lot in this ministry of motherhood. At times, we grandmas can often feel that pain of wishing we could have a “do over”.
I know I do.
But then God reminds me of the little miracles He made of the messes. He reminds me of the laughter. Of holding our breath as we wished for snow days, and the squeals of delight when they were gifted to us. Of playing hide and seek in the house and Barbies in the bedroom. Of making homemade popcorn and cookies and fudge. Of four little bodies snuggling in with mama on the couch. Of the prayers I prayed as tears flowed from an abundantly blessed heart.
Yes I messed up, but God was in each one of those messes. He heard my sincere heart as I cried out to Him for the ‘now’ and for the ‘futures’ of my children. He was the God of my mundane days. He was the God Who sat with me as I cried out in prayer. The God Who was next to me as I washed dishes and vacuumed and painted that room one more time. The God Who made my home a safe haven of coziness for my kids. The God Who somehow allowed my children to look at my heart and not just my actions. The God Who turned my little beings into my best friends and my mistakes into lessons made. The God Who answered my prayers despite my problems.
My God Who takes this ministry of motherhood seriously. I wasn’t the one who made this house a home. I wasn’t the one who raised my children to love the Lord. It was Jesus in me. Jesus in the messes and Jesus in the beautiful moments. Jesus in the very middle of this ministry of motherhood.
No matter what that ministry looks like for you today~Invite Jesus in. Invite Him into every single thing you do. The cooking and baking. The laundry and dishes. The dusting and vacuuming. The painting and the rearranging. The bath time and the bed time. The prayer time. Fall to your knees for that newborn, that toddler, that teenager and college student. That wayward adult. When you invite Jesus in, He makes miracles out of messes.
It is a high calling mama.
One we need be on our knees for continually.
It is a ministry that never ends.
A beautiful, glorious, life changing ministry.
That sweet, sweet ministry called motherhood.