© 2020 HOLDING HOPE
Hey Moms, you’ve been on my heart a lot lately.
Especially moms of little ones.
A few months back when our lives were suddenly turned upside down and parents were forced to stay at home with their kids, I began seeing posts from mothers that really surprised and sometimes saddened me. To be honest some of them made me wonder why some women became a mom to begin with. Staying at home with their kids was driving them crazy.
Please don’t get the wrong idea, I understand crazy. My own kids have driven me to that point many times (and sometimes still do.😂) I’m not trying to portray myself as some super mom. I can’t even tell you the amount of times I lost it with my own kids (just ask them), and as I look back I can say without a doubt that ‘feeling sorry for myself’ had a big role in some of those moments.
Being a mom is hard work. I understand that. It’s stressful and overwhelming and exhausting, and moms everywhere need breaks and some “me time”.
We have to be so careful though. When we start to look inward and listen to those thoughts that continually whisper to our tired souls~”what about me?” Pretty soon those thoughts aren’t whispering.
And thats when the crazy hits us.
With that being said, I would like to encourage you on how to get your sanity back.
I could probably write a book on all the things I wish I had done differently as a mom. Today will be some basics. Let’s say page 1 of chapter 1. 😂
I’ll warn you right now, it’s going to take some work~mentally and physically~and I know what all you exhausted moms out there are thinking~
I don’t want to work at anything right now!!!
I want a maid and a cook and a babysitter and twelve straight hours of sleep. And some chocolate. No tantrums, no dirty diapers, no potty training, no children in bed with me, no laundry surrounding me on my couch or dirty dishes in my sink. No sticky fingers and faces and toilet seats.
And that my sweet mamas is what takes me directly to point number 1~
1. Go to God and ask for help. Right now. Stop reading and ask Him to help you. I’m serious. Just put your phone down and plead to Him for help. Whether you feel like you’re doing fine with this mothering thing or whether you’re in the middle of the chaotic crazy. Stop and ask. If you don’t do this, the rest of this post won’t help you at all. We as moms have to realize we cannot do this mom thing without God’s help. Whether you’re pregnant right now, have a newborn, toddlers, teenagers or college students~ or even if you are a grandma~ you never “arrive”. You need God’s help and guidance every step of this motherhood journey, until you step into Heaven.
2. With that being said, my second tip would be prayer and time with God. I’ve written a lot of posts on prayer and if you go to my blog and type prayer in the search bar, I’m sure you will find many. I know how hard it is to find the time to pray when you’re a mom of little ones, but sometimes I think we look at prayer completely wrong. We think that we have to have this “holy time” set aside; alone in our rooms, kneeling by our bed, devoting complete attention to God. When you’re a mother of little ones, you know that won’t ever be a reality. So, here’s what I want you to think about. Do you love your children? Of course you do. When they come to you, do you tell them they have to make an appointment to talk to you so that you can devote your entire attention to them? Of course not. Your children come to you ALL DAY LONG. You answer their questions, you provide comfort and nourishment. You provide love. That’s how it’s meant to be with God. Moms need to realize that God is right there with them ALL DAY LONG. You can go to Him anytime and He will listen. He will help you with your questions, He will comfort and nourish your soul. He will love. Not only should you ask God to help you, but it is never too early to begin praying for your children. From the time the THOUGHT of starting a family enters your head, it should be bathed in prayer. It doesn’t matter how old they are, never stop praying for your kids or asking God for help in raising them! We cannot do it in our own strength because many times moms of little ones have no strength left to give. We have to rely on God. He is the one Who will give us the energy to be the moms we need to be for our children.
3. Next, I want you to switch your focus off of yourself. When your little ones don’t give you a moment’s peace. When you hide in the bathroom and tiny hands are knocking and little voices are shouting “mommy, mommy, mommy”. When your newborn is crying all night long~ when all of these things overwhelm you and your exhausted mind starts screaming~”what about me?” I want you to think about the thoughts that are running through your mind at that moment and then think to yourself~ what if my Savior had these same thoughts about me? When I’m asking Him to help me ALL DAY LONG. When I’m sometimes shouting “Father, Father, Father” because I just can’t do it alone. When I can’t sleep at night and I’m crying out to Him. He always, always, always gives grace. Give your children some grace. Don’t feel sorry for yourself and snap at them. They are children. They aren’t adults. They don’t understand hard mommy days, they don’t understand mommy and daddy fights, they don’t understand when you’re bent over the toilet with morning sickness and they’re hanging on your neck telling you that they love you (Jessica 😊). They don’t understand the stress of a pandemic or worry over their futures. They don’t understand. All they know is that you are mommy and YOU ARE LOVE and that’s what they need. Show them grace. Show them love. Just like your Heavenly Father does for you.
4. With that out of the way, now I DO want you to focus on yourself haha. Show YOURSELF a little grace. Every mom needs a little “Me time” for her own sanity. Whether you leave for a half hour to take a walk or a ride, whether that looks like grocery shopping for you or a hot bath, whether it’s time alone with friends or time with your husband, or time just sitting in your car alone in the driveway. You need TIME, but not before God time. Stay in God’s word and pray. This goes back to point number 2. If you don’t ask God for help and find little snippets of time to be with Him, your “me time” won’t make one bit of difference. You will return home to the chaos and crazy, and immediately lose it all over again. Remember to not only talk to God all throughout your day but also remember His promises to you. Promises from His word. It’s hard to find that time with God to actually read the Bible when you have little ones getting up at the crack of dawn, on top of a newborn that spent the whole night crying. The exhaustion is just overwhelming and your eyes can’t even focus on your coffee cup, let alone God’s word. Something that has always helped me is to find promises from God’s word, write them or print them out and place them strategically around your home. They will be constant reminders of God’s love for you. Put them above your kitchen sink, on your fridge, next to the changing table or toilet (your escape ie~”mommy is going potty, go away) or on your mirror to remind you first thing in the morning. Doing this will uplift your soul and encourage you no matter how tired you are. If you put this into practice and then you take some “me time” you will return home refreshed with a new outlook and more patience and grace for your little ones (and for your husband). By talking to God and staying in His word, His love will continually fill all the tired, empty spots and push aside all that crazy. When you return home from time away, you will be able to pour that love right back into your family, no matter what you return home to. Sticky kisses and toilet seats included. God understands that we are only human. Don’t ever allow yourself to feel guilty for taking some time for yourself. It will make you a better mommy to those little ones and a better wife to your husband.
Like I said, these are only some brief points on motherhood and those beginning crazy years and I have some good news, if you think it’s crazy now, it’s only the beginning ha ha. But if you strive to make it a habit to put these points into practice, the years ahead will be so much easier for you because you will have that foundation and you will know that God is right there by your side, helping you along the way. Remember, this parenting thing will be different for everyone. Don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t like that “other mom”, you know~the one that is perfect and has her life all together. You be you, the perfect mom God created for your children.
Ask God for help. Stay close to Him in prayer and through His word. Show grace to your children and to yourself.
I promise it will change your life.